A Better Idea
by ohiomyown
Summary: After the I wish I knew how to quit you argument in 1983, Ennis and Jack finally have A Better Idea.A U
1. Chapter 1

A Better Idea

May 1983

Pulling away from the parking lot where he'd left Jack just standing there next to his pickup, Ennis felt such sadness as he'd never experienced in his whole worthless life up to this point. Everything had turned to anger and bitterness in the blink of an eye, he thought.

He feared that this time, they would not be able to fix it.

They had such a fine week on the mountain; one of their best ever. Even the weather had cooperated for the most part. Of course it was a mite cold for Jack's tastes, but since he settled in Texas, Jack was more inclined to feel the chill – and to bitch about it.

Earlier in the week, they spent time getting re-acclimated to being away from their other lives and responsibilities, and to remember how to let it all go, and enjoy being with each other. Always a pleasure, yet it was not always an easy process. They worked on setting up camp and taking care to see that everything was secured and clean for its next use. They didn't say it, didn't need to, but they were each happiest when sharing the work with each other. Having the other in sight all day was the basis of their joy.

On the third day, they fished and caught a huge mess of trout, which they cleaned and ate, along with some potatoes that they baked in the coals. Their habit was to take an evening walk after supper and these excursions produced some magnificent views and a few delicious discoveries; wild onions, and a few blackberries for their next meal.

The last two days were especially fine, and the day before yesterday they rode up into a clearing where the meadow was dotted with Indian Paintbrush, they had let the horses loose to run and roll in the grass. While the horses relished the freedom, and drank from the small stream, Jack stretched out in the grass and did some creative cloud sculpture. That puffy white cloud over there looks like the Pillsbury Dough Boy, he mused while munching some sweet grass, now he's changed into the Michelin Man. Jack couldn't help but smile to himself over this lazy bit of fun on a sunny, perfect afternoon.

"Anything interestin' up there in heaven?" Ennis asked mischievously, remembering the night on the river bank in 1967 when they'd found each other again after four fucking, lonely years. "I was just sendin' up a prayer of thanks." Jack replied, getting into the act. "For what?" continued Ennis in the same old dialog. "For you, cowboy." Jack answered with finality.

Ennis smiled freely as he could do nowhere else on earth, and put down the sandwiches he was in the process of pulling out of the insulated pack. He walked to Jack's resting spot and lay down beside him, thigh to thigh, chest to chest, and kissed Jack fully and deeply. "Jack, I … um …. That goes both ways, bud." After a second, Ennis continued haltingly, "Jack? You know well enough how I feel after almost 20 years with you, don't you?".

Jack nodded, and grabbed Ennis by his shoulders and pulled him over on top of his own length. They undid each other's buttons while never losing contact with their warm, eager mouths, each enjoying the wetness inside. Ennis could feel Jack's kiss change as he smiled against his lips. "What?" Ennis managed to ask, because he knew something was up. He pulled away a bit and looked down into the blue depths of Jack's gaze.

They were naked by now, having accomplished the swift disrobing from practice and from need for each other. Ennis' brown eyes peered into Jack's face, his erection pressing into Jack's leg, and he repeated the question. "What's your goofy grin all about?". And Jack made his point. "Well, since you've overwhelmed me with all a your romantic words out here today, I thought I oughta tell you some a my own."

"Yeah?" Ennis queried.

"I love you, too, Ennis. Always have."

Ennis gulped a big breath of air into his lungs, got a little smirky smile on his face and blushed. The love-sick fool of a man, blushed. Jack laughed out loud at the pleased expression on Ennis' face, and from his vantage point, his cowboy looked about 19 years old again. Will you look a there, thought Jack. Maybe I shoulda told him years ago.

Ennis turned a serious and passionate face to Jack and said, "Well Jack, I guess that makes you mine, and I want what's mine right now." The picnic sandwiches, cold water, and wild onions were forgotten for a good long while, and they didn't heed the hours passing, nor hear the meadow larks serenading them from the low, shrubby bushes.

They ate a very late lunch, then in companionable silence, gathered up what they'd brought with them that morning. Soon, Jack whistled for the horses. Usually, Ennis was the first to tend to the horses; murmuring to them, gently slipping the bridle over their heads and feeling for cracks or sharp edges or anything that could chafe horseflesh. But this late afternoon, it was Jack, cinching, fastening, softly humming while checking all the straps and buckles.

He hadn't noticed Ennis' disappearance, but if he thought about it at all, he would have assumed that Ennis needed to water the grass. So when he did turn to look where Ennis might be, he got the shock of his life.

Ennis was calmly strolling toward Jack, in his hands a tiny bouquet of yellow and crimson flowers. "My mama" said Jack, "calls those Painted Cups. I think they are the Wyoming state flower, Ennis."

"In any case, here. Um. . .fer you, little darlin'.". Now it was Jack's turn to blush, as he took the blossoms from that man's strong hands.

They got silly again, they put the flowers in Jack's hair, and a couple behind Ennis' ears, both of them mugging for effect, and making light of the fact that Ennis had picked the flowers for Jack.

Ennis surprised Jack further by beginning to speak once again. "I'm not ready to let this good day end, Jack. Would you mind staying up here awhile longer so we can see the sun set this ev'nin'?".

Jack thought he must have died and gone to heaven, "I'd be proud to, cowboy." he proclaimed.

As the light gradually seeped away, and the vivid reds and oranges faded to gray, Jack sat nestled between Ennis' legs, his back against Ennis' chest and reveled in the two strong arms wrapped possessively around him.

"You know, it could be like this, just like this always." whispered Jack, not wanting to break the spell.

Ennis' arms involuntarily tightened around the man who brought peace and contentment to his heart and soul. He leaned down to Jack's ear to nibble once, kiss twice, and he said, "Don't start with me, asshole!".

Wrestling, laughing and snorting, they didn't yet notice the chill in the air. Finally, they mounted the horses, and turned their heads home. Before the descent, they looked over the scene where they'd spent one idyllic day, and each felt compelled to acknowledge that they could paw the white out of the moon.

With a slight nudge of a booted foot into the horse's sides, and a tug on the reins, the contented party headed back to camp, to their tent, and a welcome fire.

On their last day, they usually took it easy because each was aware of their time coming to a close. There was a sadness about them, yet they still carried the relaxed feelings of having shared the week with the person most important to them in the world. They ate leisurely meals, talked about the things they'd seen and done this week, made love whenever the mood struck them, and never got more than an arm's length away from each other.

Unbidden, a hand would reach out and touch a face, skim a forearm or pinch an ass, then a little chasing, kissing and laughing were in order.

On their final night, they sat on lawn chairs out by the river; Jack bundled up like he was in Alaska. They shared a bottle of that old rotgut whiskey that had been a tradition with them since Aguirre was the provider of all their food and supplies. It was a running joke with them, and it really wasn't too bad. They also passed a joint between them, Jack having figured it was time they tried it, and who was the safest person in the world to try something new with? He reasoned that if he turned into a dope fiend right there on the river bank, Ennis was capable of knocking him out till he came to his senses. And vice versa, of course.

As the night faded they talked about their week, and the world they had to return to that next morning. When the talk waned, Jack brought up an old sore subject, asking Ennis if after all this time had he still not found someone to marry. Ennis told Jack of his little thing with Cassie, but didn't call her by name if he remembered what it was. He was non-committal as usual, when this topic came up.

Jack talked about Lureen, how they had drifted so badly from each other, and instead he had a kind of _a thing going _ with a rancher's wife nearby. Ennis understood that need, and teased Jack about it.

But Jack turned serious, and desperately confessed to Ennis that sometimes he missed him so bad he couldn't stand it. Knowing exactly what that feels like, Ennis merely glanced at Jack, nodded and said not a word. That night, as usual they slept snuggled close, but Ennis held Jack more tightly in his arms through the night, dreading the morning light when they must part.

Ennis dreaded something else as well; the news he must deliver to Jack about their August trip. Not wanting to ruin any of their time together on the mountain, Ennis had purposely left the worst bit of news for last.

End of Chapter One.


	2. Chapter 2

A Better Idea

Chapter 2

Jack stands beside his pickup feeling as if his world has ended. Ennis is driving away with Jack's world in his hands. But the two of them have just crushed it so badly that it is unlikely it can be repaired.

After 20 years, Jack has just ruined the relationship most important in his life. What has he done? What was he thinking, unloading on Ennis like that?

I wish I knew how to QUIT YOU? I wish I knew how to CUT OUT my own damn stupid tongue! Jack kept hearing his own harsh words over and over in his mind, and seeing Ennis' stricken face. Jack could not catch his breath.

To stem his rising panic, Jack took deep breaths, and tried to slow his pulse. It often helped him feel better when missing Ennis to go back to his favorite memory from their time up on Brokeback Mountain in the summer of 1963. Jack recalled that he had had the pleasure of Ennis' company in the tent all night, so they neither one had slept much. After breakfast, Jack was standing by the fire, warm and drowsy while Ennis prepared to leave camp. Ennis walked up behind him and with his strong arms, encircled him in a loving embrace and softly nuzzled Jack's neck below his left ear. "Look at you; you're sleeping on your feet like a horse." crooned Ennis.

Time stood still for them both as Ennis began to sway with Jack and hum a lullaby. Jack never knew how long they stood that way, but too soon Ennis gripped him tighter still and rubbed his thumb down Jack's jaw, saying "Gotta go". Walking to his horse, Ennis said, "See you in the mornin' ".

Jack remembered feeling that his heart would burst from more love than he could possibly hold as he watched Ennis mount up and ride away up the mountain to work.

Ennis had planned to stay out there with the sheep, save a trip and only come back to base camp in the morning. It was a ninety minute trek, each way since they had moved the sheep up to the higher grazing allotment in the past week or so, more if the weather was bad. Jack realized that he wasn't much of a one for following a plan, particularly one that kept him away from his Cowboy all day and all night.

So drowsy or not, Jack, snapped out of it. He chopped enough wood for a week and stacked it neatly at the edge of the clearing. He cleaned up the dishes and breakfast leavings, packed a cold supper for himself and secured all edibles high up by the hoist. Jack shook out and re-rolled his bedroll, then gathered a full bottle of whiskey and plenty of smokes. With everything assembled, Jack paused to think if he might be missing anything.

As a precaution, he doused what was left of their breakfast fire.

On a last minute decision, Jack quickly took as thorough a frigid bath as he could stand. Damn, that river was cold. Then for good measure he shaved and put on his clean clothes. Refreshed, dressed and packed, Jack mounted his horse and headed up the mountain to re-join his friend.

When Ennis saw Jack approaching he looked startled. "What's the matter, bud?" he called. Coming closer, Ennis heard Jack say "I missed you." Amazed at hearing this, Ennis laughed so hard, he almost frightened the sheep. He had tears running down his face and he was clutching his aching sides. Soon, Jack had dismounted and tied his horse, feeling perhaps a little embarrassed for needing to come up here with Ennis, but Need it was. Not laughing anymore, Ennis walked over to him and said "C'mere, Jack".

The two of them never again, while on Brokeback Mountain spent long hours apart. Whether up with the sheep, or hunting for meat, or fishing, or tending camp, they shared the work, keeping each other in sight, and growing in their dependence upon the other for companionship, love and the very breath of their young lives.

Calmer now, and breathing easier, Jack was once again back in the present. May 1983. He decided that he could think just as well on the road, sort out what had happened and why, and figure out what could be done about it, if anything. He dropped his cigarette, ground it out in the dirt with his boot, and then picked it up and deposited it in the butt can provided by the county and emblazoned with the slogan, "It's Your Wyoming, Prevent Forest Fires".

Guess I shoulda thought of that earlier, he mused.

He checked his coffee thermos and water bottles, and then remembered he had checked them this morning when he and Ennis had packed up. Reassured, he inserted the key in the ignition and pulled out onto Route 16, heading east towards I90 and the folks.

Jack found that he could not keep his mind from returning to the blow up of that morning. Completely out of the blue, like a forest fire, it had started with a tiny spark and suddenly was a flaming inferno with accusations and recriminations from both sides. Each of them, Jack knew, had been shocked by how quickly it had turned ugly and got out of control, and burned into dangerous territory. Looking back at it now, he was sorry for his part in escalating the disappointment over not seeing Ennis till November, into a _Take No Prisoners_ all out battle royal. From this angle, my attitude looks like Pure-D selfishness. I guess that's hindsight for ya.

Visualizing now, how it had transpired between the two of them, some of Jack's sadness began to lift. In his mind's eye, he pictured Ennis shoving him angrily, saying something like, "I hear of you with another man, Jack Fuckin' Twist, it could get you killed!" That sounds like plain ol' jealousy to me, and that's a mighty good sign. Chuckling to himself, Jack thought, If Ennis Del Mar thinks he's gonna quit me, he's got another _Fuckin' Think_ coming!

For the thousandth time, Jack wished that Ennis had phone service, so he could call him tonight from Lightning Flat and settle all this back into the comfort of where they had been with each other all this week.

Hell, the week we had up there this time was some Perfect. How could Ennis continue to refuse to live together after the week we just had?

I think it was our best time ever, since we left Brokeback that first year. Now that took the dumb-ass prize of all time, ever leaving each other in the first place. Life would have been so much simpler, some sweet life. Instead we have wives and children and a life of complications which really hogties my Ennis.

But the man loves me; he brought me posies, didn't he? O 'course, Ennis being Ennis, he could not spit out those exact words. So I did it for him. He liked it too, I could tell he did. He got all flustered and happy when I said it.

Jack was an expert driver, he could literally do two things at once and do them well. He kept fiddling with the radio dial until he found one a his favorite tunes, then sang along with John Conlee, to _Rose Colored Glasses._

At the same time, he was trying to think of a plan that would bring Ennis out of his fears of tire irons and downright hatred. But as usual, Jack was unable to come up with anything solid. Every scheme had a hole in it the size of the '82 Buick Electra Park Avenue that Lureen currently drove, or he had tried it before to no avail.

Preoccupied as he was, Jack nevertheless noticed a female mule deer with her two fawns, munching leaves from a shrub off to the left side of the highway. Though it's not quite dusk, he was wary of any sudden movement by the little family. He and his vehicle could pay a high price if he didn't keep alert. Damn, my eyes are getting tired, he thought. Just as he had the thought, the mother deer decided on a reason to cross the road and darted right out in front of Jack's vehicle. His reactions honed on the rodeo circuit, Jack braked hard, just in time to avoid a collision, but his left rear tire blew out.

"Shit!" exploded Jack, wrestling the truck to a safe stop on the side of the narrow, old road. He thought, just what I need after the day I've had!

"Jus' fuckin' great!" spewed Jack out loud, "you dumb-ass deer!". As an exhausted Jack was pulling the spare tire from under the truck bed, in total darkness now, a car carrying three men slowed and stopped. As they pulled up, Jack thought, What the hell do they want?. Are they here to prove Ennis was right all these years? The driver angled his Ford station wagon so the headlights shone on Jack's flat tire, and he left it idling, while the other two men climbed out.

"Need some help there, fella?" called the taller man. Jack could not quite make them out, and he was a bit nervous wondering at their intentions. As Jack turned fully to meet their advance, he was illuminated by the Ford's lights, and the younger, shorter of the three said "Is that you, Jack?". "Well, I'll be damned" cried Uncle Walter, his mother's brother, "don't you know no better than to play in the road in the dark, boy?". "Guess not, now's you mention it" admitted Jack, and his uncle and two cousins pitched in and helped him get the tire set to rights, lickety split.

While he stowed the damaged tire, he asked how they came to be so far out of their way, on this dark road tonight. "It's sure lucky for me that you happened along when you did, I thank you Kenneth, and you Roger and you too Uncle Walter."

"Guess you still haven't heard then, eh Jack? Your daddy's in a bad way. Had a stroke last Monday morning, and your mama called down to Texas, but just missed you, your wife said you'd already left for your fishing trip."

Uncle Walter continued, "My sis grew up driving, for sure, but Claire cain't drive that big ol' monster truck your daddy bought last Fall, so she had to call us. Lucky we live nearby. Roger was able to get them to the hospital." Jack clapped a grateful hand on Roger's shoulder for taking care a things, like he shoulda done hisself, but hadn't. Huge guilt clouds floated toward Jack; he didn't question them, just settled'em on his broad shoulders.

"Holy god," yelled Jack, "where is mama now? How is she? How's she holdin' up?". Uncle Walter said "Home. Okay. Good as you can expect under the circumstances.".

"We was just headin' up there to bring her a supper that your Aunt Iris fixed, Claire, she's tough, but she's spent the whole week, mostly at that hospital. Good thing they built that new one, Mt. Carmel, closer to Lightning Flat or she'd a been in a right fix." Apparently, Uncle Walter wasn't one to stint on words. When one would do, six would do better. After spending time with Ennis for the past week, Jack felt that his uncle's talkativeness was a bit over the top. But nice, all the same.

They managed to get Jack some calmer, and Kenneth rode the rest of the way home with him. Uncle Walter and Roger followed in the Ford. "I wish I'd a been there for mama, what's the matter with me livin' all the way down there in Texas, what was I thinkin'? Apparently, I wasn't thinkin'. Are you sure she's all right?" Kenneth eyed Jack, understanding what he wasn't saying and said, "You'll work all that out in due time, Jack. But Yes, your daddy is some better, and will appreciate your concern – such as it is."

"Oh god, I never thought about daddy, he's always been so strong and hardy, you're sure he is gonna make it?" Kenneth did not know many of the details, but he repeated what he'd heard that the doctor had said. "with the right therapy and TLC his dad might be restored to 85 - 90 percent of his former functionality. Anything beyond that, would be a bonus." More like a miracle, thought Jack.

The two vehicles were pulling into the gravel road that lead up to the senior Twist's house, Jack was driving overly fast. He got almost all the way into his usual parking place and jumped out of the truck before it could roll to a complete stop.

"Now Jack, your mother is going to need you to be calm for her, and not fall apart." his Uncle Walter reminded him as they strode through the weedy front yard and up to the door.

Opening the door, which was never locked, Jack called out "Mama, it's me!"

End of Chapter Two


	3. Chapter 3

A Better Idea

Chapter 3

Ennis Del Mar arrived home in time to unpack his truck, feed and settle the

horses, and see to his dwindling supply of groceries and clean clothing to determine what needed to be done tonight to prepare for the week ahead. He moved as if by rote, not knowing what to do to quiet the roiling in his guts. It was always the same, whenever he and Jack had words, or left things not quite right, Ennis was a mess. God damn, how he loved that man and now it looked like he had ruined it forever. He had no one else to blame for the way it turned out, but himself.

Ennis had always known that Jack would someday tire of his holding out. He could move along, Jack could. Ennis was the one stuck on square one. He wished he could be different, with all his heart he wished he could be different, but he didn't seem to hold the key to unlock his stark ways and fearful thoughts. If Jack ever got a load of some a Ennis' dreams, he would surely understand why Ennis couldn't trust in divine providence, where them living together was concerned. Those dreams that always ended with Jack being killed, and Ennis unable to get there, unable to save him or stop the torture. Shit, if he could only see, he'd know why.

And now Jack is fed up that I can't be with him enough; never enough time, never enough. Well, god damn, Jack! I feel the same way, don't think I don't. I miss you so much my life is on Hold, waiting for the next time I can see you, hold you, be with you. Ennis continued the argument in his head until he realized that his stomach would not welcome a supper meal.

No fuckin' way. Not tonight.

So, he got in the truck and went to refuel for the upcoming week, and decided to grab a quick cup of coffee and something light at the diner. It would calm him down some, he was sure. Maybe a piece a pie, 'cause he sure didn't want no soup.

Ennis had taken two bites of his apple pie and started pushing the remaining portion around on his plate, unaware of what he was doing. His coffee was left to cool, and he was back inside his own head arguing his case with Jack.

Jack whom he loved, Jack who had put up with his shit for 20 years, Jack who . . . damn, after the week we just had, how can I survive not waking up next to that man every day? I can't I . . .

"Where ya been?" Came the unexpected question from somewhere outside his reverie. Ennis looked up, confused. Cassie was standing there, and she said "Ennis Del Mar." as if it were an accusation. The best Ennis could come up with on short notice was "here and there". Couldn't she see that he was busy? Could she not tell that she was talking to a shell of a man with a broken heart? That he was unable to deal with her or her questions at this time? When she'd said her piece and stormed out, Ennis felt even more like a piece of shit, now he held the world's record for hurting good people! First it was Alma and the girls, then Jack, and now Cassie, just perfect, Del Mar, just perfect! How could I have screwed everthin' up so bad? he wondered.

Ennis tried to pick up the thread of where he was, what he was thinking when Cassie had spoken to him. It was some wild-eyed dream about waking up next to Jack every morning. Now how ya figure that, Del Mar? Livin' on daydreams and love songs again, are ya, boy? Well, ya better come down out a the clouds 'cause the rent has to be paid, and the child support payments met and . . .aw hell, just forget it!

But a little seed had been planted, and Ennis kept worrying it and watering it for the next few days when he could afford to let his mind wander to thoughts that didn't include alfalfa, de-horners or udder balm.

The spartan routine that Ennis Del Mar followed every morning was to get up, make coffee and eat an egg or something cold from the previous night's meal. It wasn't enough, because his always slender frame was even more stripped down looking, like a weasel after a very hard winter. He had been back from the mountain and his week with Jack for a full four days and five nights and he had eaten perhaps one complete meal in all that time.

Ennis felt like he was walking around in circles with one foot nailed to the goddamn floorboards. He performed adequately at work, he supposed, and most folks couldn't tell the difference from his usual taciturn demeanor, but Ennis knew he was different. A broken heart doesn't show on the outside, but he could feel the jagged edges gouging him from inside, ripping little holes in his soul, and nothing in his world was right or fitting.

I wonder if a person can actually die from a broken heart, he thought forlornly. It feels like I can.

As Ennis did every time he and Jack left each other, he estimated when Jack must be back in Texas, fourteen hours away from him. Figuring it in his head, Ennis thought, he would have spent a couple a days with his parents, one long day driving back or two if he was exhausted and needed a motel bed. He always worried that Jack would get overtired and have a wreck or break down in a bad spot.

It was hell never knowing until the next postcard came. It was times like this that Ennis wished to all that was holy, that he had a telephone, but most times it would have been an added expense that he could not justify.

Ennis worked some saddle and leather compound into the harness he was repairing and decided that he would fix an egg sandwich and have a cold bottle of Budweiser for his "evening dining experience". He wondered if he was getting his sense of humor back, after pulling that phrase up from the recesses of his memory - must a been from some commercial he'd seen.

When he was standing at the refrigerator pulling out the Bud, egg and oleo, he looked out the window and realized that he hadn't checked his mailbox in a day or two. Not that he was expecting anything, most a his bills were not the kind to be sent in the mail, except the utility bills.

He got out the little frying pan he favored for the fried egg. He scrambled the egg, wishing for a teaspoonful of milk, the way his mother had made his egg sandwiches. But that was onother item he could not justify, since he used so little milk in his daily diet.

Mail came for Ennis sporadically, his girls would send cards on holidays and his birthdays, of course. But even if it were his birthday, his brother K.E. and his sister Maggie rarely remembered to send him a card. No hard feelings there, he didn't often send cards either. Whenever one a them did find an especially funny card, and mailed it out, it was a really big occasion.

He liked it best when they wrote a note inside and sent some family pictures to update his collection. Ennis remembered his siblings fondly, while putting the cracked wheat bread and sandwich fillings together. He found a dry slice of cheese to melt on top of his egg.

Sitting down with his meal prepared, Ennis considered turning on the little TV in the corner, but he just wasn't in the mood for laugh tracks and game shows, and he especially wasn't in the mood for the news. Always depressing and he didn't need that on top of what he had going on in his life.

He took a big bite of sandwich, chewed, swallowed and drank some beer. He did know how to make a passable egg sandwich, that's for sure. Taking the second bite and chewing absently, he remembered the mailbox again. Even as tired as he was from the day's work, he thought it wasn't good to let things go undone, so he walked out of the trailer to gather the mail. Upon seeing that ratty old, beat-up mailbox, he thought, first chance I get, I need to put up the new box I bought, and them new numbers too.

There was a flyer from the local Smith's Food & Drug grocery store, on Main St., maybe he should look that over. Things were getting mighty thin in his cupboard these days. And sure enough, the water bill had come. Ennis was hoping for a new K & B's or else the Hamley's Saddle Catalog, but didn't see either one in the stack of mail.

Oh my holy je . . . here is an envelope with Jack's writing on it, and the return address is Lightning Flat. He couldn't wait to tell me we're done! Sent it from up at his folks' place. Ennis' legs couldn't hold him. He sat down hard, thunderstruck right there on the ground next to the mailbox. His mind was reeling, his heart was hammering, and he thought he might throw up on the spot. He stared at the envelope, forgot everything else that might or might not have come in the post, and slowly, painfully regained his legs.

When he was able, Ennis got up and went into the house. He set the letter in front of him by his plate that no longer held anything of interest, and wished he could make that envelope disappear. Oh christ, oh jesus, what could be so bad that Jack had to rush to break it off with me through the mail the very next day after I left him at the trail head? Ennis saw water drops hitting his plate with the uneaten sandwich on it, and pushed the plate out of the way.

He still stared at that envelope, more afraid than he had ever been in his isolated, rugged life. He wasn't this afraid when he come upon that bear on the trail that time. Del Mar, he railed at himself, get your wits about you and face the music. Devil hates a coward, or Devil loves a coward. Ennis couldn't remember which was right. Didn't matter, he had to do something about that envelope.

You asked that man to let you be, so who are you goin' to blame for him takin' you up on it? You told him you couldn't take this no more, remember?

After ten long minutes of abject terror, Ennis pulled out his pocket knife and shakily slit the envelope across one end, sliding out Jack's letter. One page, humph, didn't need ta say much, did he? With stiff fingers, the youngest Del Mar boy opened Jack Twist's three flap letter.

_Dear Ennis, _

_I run on up to Lightning Flat like I told you I was, and when I got here, I found my dad has had a stroke. Mama is holding up, for my sake I think, but there's so much to do, and I'm only one man._

_Ennis, I need you so bad, in every way a man can need his friend, and I'm hoping you can come up and help me out as soon as you can get away. If you can't I'll understand but I hope you won't disappoint me. _

_I hate it that we left it like we did, and I want to talk to you about that too. I'm so sorry, Ennis._

_Please call my uncle Walter, he'll explain everything to you, and give you directions on how to get here. I am spending most of my time carrying mama back and forth to the hospital, and we might miss you if you were to call here. _

_I need you by my side, cowboy, now more than ever. Please come the first chance you get._

_All my love,_

_Jack_

Ennis put his head down in his hands and sobbed until his body had no more tears to give. Such relief should sound like a happier tune, but what Ennis had put himself through for the last several days, would not go away without releasing all that pent up fear of losing his Jack.

On the bottom of Jack's letter were the phone numbers for Jack's Uncle Walter, and for the Twist house. Ennis jammed his hat on his head and jumped in the truck, like his tail was on fire. The nearest phone booth Ennis could think of was across the street from the Riverton Post Office, he'd never used it but had noticed it from time to time. He hoped it was still there.

He stopped at the Smith's Food & Drug to get change for the phone, and just in case, he got twice what he thought it should cost to make a phone call.

End of Chapter 3


	4. Chapter 4

A Better Idea

Chapter 4

Jack had just about got his mama settled in her bed, with her favorite book, a hot cup of tea and a piece of leftover cherry cake. His aunt Iris had brought them some supper tonight, so they wouldn't have to worry about cooking after being over to the hospital all day. Jack thought gratefully, this is what families are supposed to be like, pushing away an image of his late father-in-law.

Within 24 hours of his arrival, Jack had decided that he would stay for a few weeks, perhaps 4 to 6 weeks, depending on what his dad's needs were when he was home again. Once that decision was made, Jack had called Lureen and brought her up to speed on what was happening in Wyoming. Lureen tried to say all the appropriate, caring things, but she didn't know Claire or John Twist, only by their son's descriptions, and a few letters. But she was poignantly aware of her own needs at the Newsome Farm Machinery Dealership.

She asked Jack what he thought she ought to do, and he told her he didn't rightly know. If you need to hire someone this summer to cover for me, then I guess you have no choice, Lureen. Just as I have no choice about staying to take care of my folks' needs here. She wanted to see what would happen in the next few days. She agreed that she would call Jack every Sunday at 9 p.m.; they could swap news of Bobby and the Twists, and the business.

Privately, and without malice, Lureen thought, if Mr. Twist doesn't make it, there will be no need for Jack to stay up there, and he can come on home, and I will not have to hire a replacement. She didn't exactly hope for that to be the way of it, but she thought it would be a neat and tidy solution.

With his mother comfortably settled, Jack wanted to get off his feet too. He went out to his truck and was just searching in his cooler, hoping there was one last cold beer, when he heard the phone ringing in the house. It was Thursday night, and he hadn't been expecting a call from anyone that he knew of. Jack and Ennis had not been in the habit of calling each other, so a ringing phone would not normally bring Ennis to mind. But Jack had heard no response to his letter, so the blood in his body began racing through his veins, as Jack loped into the house at top speed and breathlessly answered the telephone on the seventh ring. "Twist Residence."

Jack heard an intake of breath on the other end of the line, and he knew immediately who it was.

"Jack?",

"Ennis is it you, cowboy? God, it's good to hear your voice!".

"I'ts good to hear yours too, darlin'. So you're having a rough patch, are ya?"

Jack had to sit down, all the adrenalin he'd generated, now leaving him limp.

"Ennis can you come? Say you'll come up here for a day or so."

"Guess I could come on Friday night after work, that's tomorrow, right? And come back Sunday. Would that help you, Jack?"

"Oh, Ennis. You don't know how much. Is it for sure you can come? Got a pencil? I'll give you directions to the house, you must promise to drive careful, cowboy!"

Ennis asked for an update on Jack's dad's condition, and his mom's too for that matter.

Jack said, "How've you been, Ennis?" his voice sounding chokey, that had nothing to do with the phone lines.

Ennis' voice was a bit harsh too, and he said, "All better now. Jack., all better now."

Jack allowed as how it seemed like a month since he'd seen his friend, to which Ennis heartily agreed. They both laughed that it had only been a little over 4 days. Their laughter was a little shaky, too.

They figured on Jack's normal drive time and decided when to expect Ennis to arrive, one hour either side of their estimate. They were talking so fast to each other, stumbling over happy feelings and relief, and yet concern for the serious business of caring for the elder Twist's, when out of the blue, Jack said, "Ennis I gotta tell ya …

bong,bong "Please Deposit $5.85 for the next three minutes." bong,bong 

"Oh, god Jack, I ain't got that much change with me, we'll have to hang up!

See you tomorrow night! I lo". The line went dead.

"What did he say?" Jack's smile slowly crept up his face and lit up his eyes.

Jack walked into his mother's room, she took one look at that face and said "What?"

"Ennis is coming up tomorrow night."

Claire Twist gasped in a dramatic way, smiled, and said "THE Ennis Del Mar?"

Her beautiful son, Jack, grinned as wide as his mouth would allow, and told her, 'Yes, mama, THE Ennis Del Mar."

They talked about when he'd arrive, and considered the best time to go to the hospital. Then with that decided, Jack bid his mother good night, and went to get some rest for himself, completely forgetting that earlier, he had wanted a beer. He finally settled down after 40 minutes or so, and dreamed of Ennis coming to his home for the first time ever.

In Jack's dream, Ennis looked directly into his eyes, and said "I love you, Jack Twist."

Back in Riverton, Ennis was trying to recover from so much excitement, his heart was hammering, and he kept singing to himself, something by Lee Greenwood, like _Love don't get no better than it is right now, Love don't get no better, no way, no how. If we just hang in there da da da …hmmmm_

Believing himself to finally be "round the bend", Ennis drove home with the windows open on his truck and a goofy smile on his face that, were his daughters to see him, they'd think he was a man in love. And so he was.

After scouting around for everything he thought he might need to take up to Jack's to help out around the place, Ennis packed it ready to grab in the morning, for he was not coming back here to the trailer before heading up to Lightning Flat. That would be a waste of precious time, that's for sure.

He filled several jugs with water and put them in the freezer to carry in his ice chest. Ennis showered, noting that he needed a haircut already, and got in bed to think about tomorrow night.

He got out of bed to make sure his directions were right there with his keys, where he would find them in the morning.

He got out of bed again to write a list of things he wanted to tell Jack.

Remembering the phone call earlier, he flushed. I can't believe I said that out loud. Now I know why me 'n Jack wrote cards, and never called on the phone. If the operator hadn't busted in, we'd still be there yammerin' little love words at each other.

Ennis Del Mar finally fell asleep, and dreamed not a dream, but rested fully.

In the pre-dawn hours, Ennis packed his truck with everthing he could possibly need, and headed in to work an hour early, so as to take no chances about getting on the road in time to see Jack tonight.

His work day flew by, but at the same time it drug along. Ennis was very efficient at taking care of every little detail on Stodemeir's Ranch today, because he did not want any reason to be needed here, this weekend. It was good weather, so he had no hold ups for dealing with mud nor extra rain gear for himself.

His plan was to leave by 4 p.m. so he could get a bit of a head start on the trip, but things were going so well, he thought he might just get out of here by 3:30 if nothing came up to delay him. Around 3:15 old Herman Stodemeir came out of the barn and hailed Ennis to come see him. "What's up Mr. Stodemeir?" asked Ennis. "I yust vant to varn you, Innis, that ve vill neet to keep zee eye on vun uf de heffers der nex copple uf days, it is suzie, stall number 368, the braun heffer wit de white face".

"What seems to be the problem, Sir? She's not due to calve for two more weeks now." Ennis explained.

"True, true, but her temperature is elefated, und she's off her feed."

Ennis began walking in the direction of the barn to check on stall #368, and Mr. Stodemeir walked along with him. "I'll have a look at her now, sir, but I was not planning on being around here this weekend. Going out of town, kind of an emergency."

"Vat kind uf an emergency Innis? I hope nutting too bat."

Ennis replied, "It's a Stroke, sir. My father has had a stroke."

The old man looked at Ennis, and ducked his head, "Innis I knew your fahter, und he's been det for more than twenny, twenny-fife years"

"Oh, right, sir. Actually it's my father-in-law who's had the stroke up in Lightning Flat. I came in early this morning so I could cover everything and get out of here, and be on the road by …. about now."

Ennis was not supposed to be On Call 24 hours a day including weekends, but he had spoiled his employer because he was nearby, and never minded checking on things, night or day. When he could. But in this instance, he could not, and would not.

Having checked the heifer, Ennis did think she looked more advanced than she was supposed to be. Mulling this over, he told Mr. Stodemeir that Bruce or Charlie could be counted upon to handle the situation if needed, and he suggested he would call one of them right now to make the arrangements, should that be necessary.

"No, no young man, yoof dun enuf for me today. You run alonk and see to your papa. Und gif him my best, von't you?"

"Yes, sir, thank you, sir" called Ennis.

Relieved, and then happy, Ennis got in his truck and left the ranch immediately, hurrying north and east to visit Jack, and help lick that

damn Twist Ranch into shape.

After several hours on the road, Ennis pulled over at a rest stop, relieved himself, got a cold drink out of his ice chest, and estimated that he was less than an hour away. An hour away from Jack!

His radio was giving him fits because he was out of the broadcast range of his usual station. He didn't have much luck fiddling with the dial, so he turned it off and calmed himself by singing some old country songs that he liked. Well, humming mostly. Soon he was within ten minutes of Jack's place and nothing worked to calm him. He was so excited he was bouncing, he could hardly stay in the seat of the cab.

When Ennis pulled in, the place looked just as Jack had described it. With only one difference. Jack's truck wasn't here. Ennis approached the door and knocked anyway, thinking Jack might be here, and someone else could be using his truck. But no answer came.

Ennis sat in his truck and waited. He didn't know what else to do, so he just waited. Then he thought, why am I just wasting time? I said I'd come up and help, so he walked through the gate and began to check out the herd. He stayed near the barn and assessed the need for food, water, and clean straw, and took care of what he could, finding what he needed at hand.

Tomorrow, I'll check all the fence line if Jack doesn't have anything else planned for me to do. Saying that to himself, he heard a vehicle approaching. It was a very familiar sounding vehicle. Ennis' face took on a glow and a wide smile, and when he turned he was looking back into an equally wide smile belonging to one Jack Fuckin' Twist.

Well, I have no precedent for this, Jack thought desperately, as he helped his mother down out of the truck. What do I do first? Do I kiss him in front of her? Or die inside wanting to?

Jack decided to opt for chivalry, taking his mother's arm he said "Come on, mama, come and meet Ennis."

"I will, Jack", she said, "but you run on and welcome him first. Don't leave your young man standing there!"

That's all he needed to hear! Jack ran to the yard where Ennis was still making his way back from the barn, and grabbed him in a loving clutch just as they always did when they hadn't seen each other in a long, long, time.

Jack breathed in Ennis' ear, "Christ, you're a sight for sore eyes. Now come along, there's a beautiful woman who wants to meet the famous Ennis Del Mar."

End of Chapter 4


	5. Chapter 5

A Better Idea

Chapter Five

The northern Wyoming light was quickly fading as Ennis and Jack walked back toward the house. It's not smart to step around in the pasture after dark; they had both grown up knowing this little fact of life. You don't want to plant your foot on a snake, or find a prairie dog hole unexpected like.

As they walked the land near the house and barn, they had been talking about what needed to be done tomorrow, and where Ennis might find the tools and supplies necessary to get the job done. He was looking forward to being able to do something for Jack. Something concrete. Something of value. They had lined out more work than one man could possibly do in a day, but that was how Ennis wanted it. He still had Sunday morning to finish up a few things before he headed back home to his real life, and his job at the ranch.

"Real life?" thought Ennis. He could not help remembering Jack's many words on the subject. When they'd first got back together, Jack had asked "You and Alma, that's a life?", and more recently, "you want a live your miserable, fuckin' life, you go right ahead!". I wonder what my real life is, he thought. I know I only feel half alive when I'm not with Jack.

"Where does your girlfriend think you are this weekend, Cowboy?" Jack wondered aloud.

"My what?" gasped Ennis.

"The waitress who wants to go to nursing school, where did you tell her you was going?" repeated Jack, half aggravated.

"Didn't tell her nothin', Jack. And she wasn't my girlfriend. That's kinda over before it started anyway, tell you the truth." Admitted Ennis.

"That was fast, when did you have time to break it off with her, Ennis? It was you, wasn't it that called it off?" Jack pushed for some answers.

"Well, knowin' you, Jack; you want all the gory details don't you?" Ennis stated knowingly. "It was like this, I was so tore up over you, and what I'd done and said out there, that I was in some kinda state, I can tell you. So when she walked up to me, all questioning like, there in the diner that night, I just had no answer for her and she finally went away."

"She just went away?" said Jack.

"Yeah, I told you, she went away. Cryin' like." Ennis spoke so softly that Jack had a hard time hearing the last bit.

"Jack, can we not talk about her anymore? I'm not proud of how I treated her. The truth is, my mind was never with Cassie. I was not interested in bein' who she wanted me to be."

Ennis turned the tables. "What about you? Did you call your neighbor's wife and let her know you are going to be delayed a few days or weeks?"

"Hell, you know I didn't, Ennis!" cried Jack.

"Why not, isn't she expecting you to "slip off to see her" at some point?"

accused Ennis.

"Whoa, where is this coming from Ennis? Are we having another fight? I am here in Lightning Flat; the man I want and need is by my side. I just want to enjoy this time with you. Okay? Can we do that? Please?"

"You're right, Jack, I'm sorry. Let's not waste time talkin' about other people. I'm here with you, and that's just where I want to be." affirmed Ennis. "No more talk about any girlfriend, okay then?"

Jack looked for some reassurance, "Are we good, then?"

"Yes, Jack, but.…um … Okay, here goes," Ennis breathed out nervously, "How do you want to handle the sleeping arrangements, bud? I don't want to sleep without you, Jack, not unless we're forced to. I sure don't want to impose on your mother's hospitality at this time when she's so worried about your dad. 'Sides, I wouldn't offend that lady for the world. How'd she feel with her son sleeping with a _rough as a cob ranch hand_, right under her roof? It just ain't right. You know I got my bedroll with me, and you got that tent…."

"You 'bout through yet, Ennis Del Mar?" demanded Jack. "Christ, I never heard that many words out a you all last week, Cowboy." Then Jack smiled that sidelong grin at Ennis, so he'd know he was just pokin' a little fun at him.

Jack turned to Ennis and took him in his arms. He was getting chilly so he assumed Ennis was too, he rubbed his hands up and down Ennis' arms to warm him. Ennis turned his face up to Jack, wanting a kiss, and was rewarded as he'd hoped. Slowly, softly they let down their guard, smoothed all the bristles and hackles, and melted into the kiss. This was warm, familiar territory, home to both. Their breathing slowed and eased.

Ennis slid his hands down inside the back of Jack's jeans, and cupped his cold butt with both hands. "Feels like a goddamn meat locker down there, Twist. Want me to warm you up some?" Ennis offered suggestively.

"Yes, I surely do, but we have unfinished business to talk about first; about your sleeping arrangements. Remember?"

"Oh yeah, me bein' here's posin' a big problem, ain't it?" offered Ennis.

"No and Hell No, Ennis. Mama 'n me decided this morning about all that. Upstairs across from my room is a big room we use for visitors staying over. Mama has a LOT of kinfolk, Ennis. There's also some attic storage. Anyway, there's two double beds in there and mama had me make one a them up for you this morning. I put clean sheets on it, and I even fluffed your pillas."

Ennis: "You did?"

Jack: "I did."

Ennis: "Well, there ya go! All settled, ain't it? Where'll you be, Jack?"

Jack: "Right beside you, Cowboy."

"Now, I know it's getting' late, but if you ain't too tired, Ennis, I got somethin' I want a show ya. It's here in the barn," Jack said, leading the way. When he got to the ladder to the hay mow, Jack began to climb.

"It's up there, is it? What is it, Jack?" Ennis asked suspiciously.

"You'll see, Ennis, just quit arguing for once, will ya?" Jack asked, aggrieved again.

Once up in the hay mow, they could see for miles from the open hay door, the stars looked close enough to touch. Jack pulled down a blanket he had put up there this morning for this very purpose. He spread it out and motioned for Ennis to sit down and be comfortable. Ennis stubbornly continued to stand, waiting for Jack to sit first.

Jack took Ennis' face in both his hands and kissed him tenderly, lingering over his lips hungrily, but very softly.

"Ennis, please sit down, I have somethin' to say to ya and you're not making it any easier on me just standin' there." pleaded Jack.

Ennis looked seriously into Jack's face, wonderin' what was comin' but only said, "awwright." And he sat.

Jack began, "I don't know how to say to you all that I feel, Ennis. First of all, I am so grateful that you are here. You came here for no other reason than to help me, and that's a real friend." He continued, "I'm so grateful that you're even speakin' to me after what I done . ."

"Wait just a goddamn minute" began Ennis, standing up again.

"No Ennis" interrupted Jack, holding his hand in front of Ennis' face to forestall him talking once again. He turned Ennis toward the blanket and a seated position once again "Sit down, please, let me say my piece and then you can talk or punch my lights out or whatever you're aimin' to do."

Resuming, Jack said "Uh, Ennis, I never meant all them things I said to you up there last week. My feelings was hurt, I was disappointed about August, but I had no right to jump on you like I did. I wish I could take it all back. Ennis, can you ever forgive me?"

Ennis stands up again, "Goddamn it Jack, it was me that was in the wrong. I know why you said all them things, and I don't blame you one bit. I been kickin' my ass for five days over that."

"You have?" asked Jack.

"You bet I have. So you just take your shot at kickin' it too. I deserve it." mourned Ennis.

"Okay." said Jack. "I'm still grateful as hell that you're here, and willing to help me out, Ennis."

Ennis: "Jack, lemme tell you somethin'. If there's EVER a time that you need me, you don't hafta ask twice, bud. I'll be there."

Jack: "I know that, Ennis, but thanks for sayin' it. So. You forgive me?"

Ennis: "Yes. You forgive me?"

Jack: "Yes."

Ennis: "Then what'd you want to show me up here?"

"I just wanted to show you how sorry I was for everything. 'n how glad I am that you're here." replied Jack.

"Hmm, how glad ARE you that I'm here?" Ennis asked, smiling at Jack.

"Well, if you'll stop your infernal pacing, I'll show you." Jack said.

Together they unbuttoned each other's clothing, pulled it off piece by piece, while they hummed a little strip tease music. They laughed. They hung everything on nails to keep out any curious critters, then stretched themselves out on the blanket together at last.

"Look, Jack, there's the same moon that we saw rising last week when we was in the meadow. Oh, I didn't get you any purty flowers for your hair tonight, darlin' " teased Ennis. "Jack?"

Jack didn't answer, he was busy concentrating on the splendid sight before him, Ennis' naked body. He began trailing kisses from the tender spot behind Ennis' ear, down his neck to his chest, and continuing down the interesting and lovely strip of dark hair. By the time Jack got to the trail's end he could tell how happy Ennis was to see him.

Ennis, catching his breath, said "Oh god, Jack, I can't take too much a that tonight, tired as I am. Flip around here, handsome, and lemme give you some a your own medicine."

The two lovers were in no hurry, and each made sure that his partner's needs were met, and then some. In their present mood of relief from all that had happened in their lives this past week, each man wanted to give more than he received, and the result was head to toe lovin'. That's what they named it, Head To Toe Lovin'.

"You know what I like best, Cowboy?" asked Jack.

Ennis: "No, what?"

Jack: "I like lookin' at you, Ennis, all a you."

Ennis: "You must need glasses then. You are the fine specimen of a man that I want to feast my eyes on, Jack."

Their voices were getting quieter and drowsier, they were lying on the blanket, arms and legs entwined, and their foreheads were together.

"C'mon Cowboy, time to get goin' " urged Jack.

Ennis: "uh? Where?"

"Let's go to bed, we don't want to be flappin' our nakedness for all the world to see, now do we?" reasoned Jack.

Ennis had been up for almost 24 hours straight, and he was getting some downtime when he felt wet, sloppy kisses landing on his toes, his nose, his belly button .. Ennis was liking that too much, so Jack changed his tactics to nips and nibbles.

Ennis: "Okay, okay. I'm getting dressed."

They slipped into the house, crept up the stairs like teenagers out past curfew, and got into the big double bed at Jack's house.

End of chapter 5


	6. Chapter 6

A Better Idea

Chapter Six

In the morning, Ennis and Jack went downstairs to find Claire Twist just coming out of her bedroom.

"Good morning!" Mrs. Twist greeted them both cheerfully. "What a beautiful day we've got goin' on here." Claire kissed Jack and then walked over to Ennis. "May I?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'm?" unsure of her intentions, Ennis gave her the lead.

Jack's mom took Ennis' face in her two hands and kissed his cheek, then patted his shoulders in such a way that it was almost a hug.

Ennis was so pleased by this, he just beamed. "Now I know where Jack gets it" he thought.

Due to the long previous day, each had slept a little later than usual, so they decided among themselves to have a simple breakfast of cold cereal, fruit and some leftover corn muffins before beginning their day's errands and chores.

All three pitched in, getting the table set, and the food prepared. Jack pointed Ennis in the right direction for bowls and plates. In no time, they were around the table ready to eat.

Mrs. Twist extended her left hand to her son and her right hand to Ennis. The three held hands and bowed their heads. Claire began in a clear, firm voice, "Dear Lord, we thank you for the food we are about to receive, may it nourish our bodies as you intended. We especially thank you, Lord, for bringing Ennis Del Mar into our home to help us in our time of worry. We ask you Lord, to look after John in his time of sickness, bless him Oh Lord, and restore him to health, if that is your will. Bless all our families and our loved ones, near and far." Jack and Ennis murmured "Amen."

The coffee had finished perking while they prayed, so Claire immediately stood to fetch the pot to the dinner table. Turning to take the first step back into her dining room, her heart caught in her throat and she paused, coffee pot upraised.

"I've waited twenty long years to see this day come." she said sincerely. Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar sat just as she had left them, fingers interlaced on the table, smiling into each other's face, sun glinting off their heads, one so blond, one so dark. They were appreciating this new experience, and had lost touch with the world outside their eyes.

"Excuse me, ma'm?" said Ennis.

"Twenty years I've waited to see my boy this happy, and for Ennis Del Mar to have his boots under our dinner table." She said, pouring their coffee cups full.

Dumbstruck, Ennis spoke "You've known about me, about us, all this time?"

"Since you left each other in 1963, and Jack came home and fell apart in my arms. Yes, young man, I've known about you all these years."

There was a brief quiet, a stunned silence in the room.

"The thing I never knew, and never could know, was whether you loved my boy Jack, here, as he loved you. Until now. "

Jack tried to stem the tide of her words because it was just too much. It was too sad, and it was too happy.

"Oh, mama …" Jack began.

"Wait Jack, your mother deserves an answer, and so do you. Yes, ma'm, I have to say that I've loved Jack all these twenty years, same as he's loved me. But I was always afraid to say it, or show it, or live it. He was the brave one. I can see now where he gets it."

"No, Ennis" explained Mrs. Twist, "Do not give me the credit. You see dear, and Jack will bear me out, I have never been a person to speak up about these private thoughts. It's only been in this past week with my husband struck with a sudden illness, where we almost lost him, that I have realized how quickly your life and those you hold most in your heart, can be snatched from you in a second. I've learned that we need to appreciate those most dear to us, and let'em know how precious they are, before it's too late.

Ennis added hesitantly, "I want to live free to love your son, ma'm to have us a life of our own, like regular people expect. But I am not a brave person when it comes to the safety of my man here. I'm still afraid. That hasn't changed."

Three pairs of eyes filled with tears, but not one drop rolled down a cheek.

Ennis said, "Twist, I'm gonna need my hand back now, if I'm gonna eat my breakfast."

Jack and Ennis were giddy with joy over being able to show their feelings in front of another person. It's a whole new world, thought Ennis. Or at least, I hope it's beginning to be a new world.

The brief meal over, Jack said he would call the hospital for an update on his dad's condition this morning, and then call Uncle Walter about that new hydraflex connector he wanted.

Ennis stayed to clear the table and help with the dishes. Mrs. Twist let him help clear, but refused his offer to dry the dishes, "I like 'em air dried" she said. "Besides, we only have a couple, Ennis."

"You got a broom, I'll sweep up after us in here." Said Ennis, and this she allowed.

Ennis just wanted to stay near to her. He couldn't believe he was sharing chores with Jack's mother. He was eager to please her.

There was another reason Ennis wanted to stay near Mrs. Twist; he was dying of curiosity about somethin' she had said. Ennis looked soulfully at Jack's mother and asked, "He really came back here and fell apart?"

Nodding, she said, "Yes, he sure did. He stayed in bed for days, cried, wouldn't eat. We had to tell his daddy he had the flu. I'm the one sent him to Texas to rodeo, He had give up."

Ennis described his own bout of despair and longing, and said, "But I didn't have no lovely mom to give me a boot in the .. uh … backside."

Claire turned from the sink, both hands sudsy and wet. She put her arms around Ennis Del Mar, and consoled him, "Well, you do now, son. Whatever you two work out or don't. You have a mom now." Ennis held on for dear life, and hoped he wasn't cracking her ribs.

Jack walked back into the dining room in time to catch this, and he said "Come on, you two, you're killing me here." And he walked over and put his arms around two of the people he loved most in the world.

" Any new word from the hospital, Jack?" asked his mother.

"Just that dad had a good night, and he was already in the Physical Therapy room getting his workout when I called." Jack informed those waiting to hear. "Looks like he may be tired or sleeping when we get there, but he should be alert around lunch time, mama. You will still get a chance to help him eat lunch and talk to him awhile. We can stay as long as you like, did you pack the book you were reading last night? What else should I gather for you that you might need?"

"Oh," said Jack, "Uncle Walter said he and Aunt Iris are going up today too, but he wasn't sure what time. He said Roger and Kenneth may come over here and help Ennis awhile till they have to go in to the plant. How about that? I thought that was more than decent of them, don't you?"

They decided to take Jack's daddys' truck today, it had been sitting idle for several days and could use a good run. Soon they were packed and ready to go, with Ennis standing on the porch to see them off.

"You sure you got everything you need, Cowboy?" asked Jack.

Ennis' eyes crinkled in a wide smile; he just said, "you bet."

"Well, you need anything, you got the number for over at Uncle Walter's place and they'll know or it ain't worth needin'. " Jack knew that was going to be no problem, because as soon as he checked on his dad, he was going to call back here to talk to Ennis privately, while his mother sat with his daddy.

"Oh, Ennis, there's a phone in the barn. Did you see where it was? Right up by the front stall? Anybody calls, I'd appreciate you getting it, and takin' a message. Awwright?"

"Sure enough, pardner, guess I can handle that. Anythin' else I need to know?" inquired Ennis, teasingly.

Finally, they were off, Ennis was alone, and he could start working off the items on his list. "Whew, what a day he thought! It ain't even 9:30 in the mornin' and I'm worn out. All this talkin' 'bout feelin's could wipe a person out, that's for sure." Smiling to himself, Ennis headed out to the barn.

End of Chapter 6


	7. Chapter 7

A Better Idea

Chapter Seven

By 11:oo a,m. Ennis had worked up a good sweat and was looking at his list to see what was next. He was anxious to get his hands on the herd of black baldies, they were one of his favorite breeds of cattle. He wanted to make sure they were faring well, since Mr. Twist had been out of pocket for several days.

Ennis decided to take the pickup, and some general first aid remedies when riding out to check the herd, 'cause you never know what you might run in to.

At that thought, he checked over the supplies, grabbed an extra length of rope and …

Startled at the sudden sound, Ennis realized that it was the phone ringing. He remembered Jack asking him to take calls and get a message, so he went toward the front stall to find the noisy instrument. "Twist Residence", he said, recalling how Jack had answered when he called on Thursday night.

A female voice came over the line, "Jack, is that you?"

Ennis: "No, ma'm, Jack's at the hospital just now. This is a friend of the family, may I take a message for Mrs. Twist?"

"No, this is Mrs. Twist, Jack's wife" explained Lureen, "he wasn't expecting me to call today, but I really need to talk to him as soon as possible, Mr. uh, what did you say your name was, sir?"

"This is Ennis Del Mar, ma'm. I just came up to help Jack and his mother for the weekend."

"Ennis Del Mar, you're the fishing buddy, is that right?"

"Yes, ma'm" said Ennis, "and" he thought but did not say, "the man who's stealing your husband." Ennis did not expect to feel this wash of guilt come over him. Lureen was a real person, a voice on the other end of the line. She was not just one o' Jack's stories. Damn. Ennis had never felt like such a shitheel in his life.

"Hello, Mr. Del Mar, are you still there?"

"Oh, yes ma'm, sorry. Was there a message you want me to give Jack?"

"Just ask him to call home as soon as he gets back, it's rather an emergency." Lureen did not sound hysterical, but was plainly stressed.

"Mrs. Twist, if it's an emergency, I can call the hospital and try to reach Jack. Are you alright? Or has something happened to Bobby?"

"No, nothing like that. I just need to talk to him."

"I know what room his daddy's in. I'd be happy to call there for you now."

"Thank you, that would be helpful, Mr. Del Mar. Is your wife there with you?"

"No, ma'm. Me 'n Alma split up several years ago, I'm not married."

"It's lucky you live close by then, it's so good to have friends who are able to help. You do live close then?"

"Well, uh, it's a few hours away, ma'm. But a lot closer n' you. Uh, shouldn't I be getting' offa here and trying to reach Jack for you?"

Ennis was not comfortable with telephones in the general sense, but to be talking to the woman whose husband, uh …Ennis did not even know the word for what he felt about this.

"Of course, Ennis. May I call you Ennis?" asked Lureen. "Tell Jack I'll wait here at the house till I hear from him. Goodbye Ennis Del Mar, it was good to finally meet you, even if it was only on the phone. Funny, I thought you might just be one o' Jack's stories."

"Yes, ma'm, I know just what you mean."

Ennis was overcome with a strange, and not welcome, emotion. He had never thought about the fact that he was cheating on Lureen with Jack. He had felt in the wrong for lying to Alma all those years, but this other woman did not cross his mind. Until today.

Just as Ennis reached for the telephone, it rang again. "Shit" he thought, "when ya have one a these things in your house, ya never get no work done!"

"Twist Residence" he said.

"I like how you say that, Cowboy. I wish I was back there with you right now."

"Uh, Jack. Lureen just called here lookin' for you. She said it was kind of a emergency and she would wait at the house for you to call. She said nothin's happened to her or to Bobby, though." Ennis realized he was out of breath.

"Damn, I wonder what's the matter. How did she sound, Ennis?"

"Goddamnit, Jack, how do I know how she sounded, she's YOUR wife."

Jack thought, uh oh, somethin's happened. He's upset. He said, "Ennis,

what's the matter? You sound upset."

"O' course I'm not upset, Jack Fuckin' Twist, what would make you think that?" demanded a terse Ennis. "Just call your wife." and he hung up.

Jack just stared at the dead telephone in his hands and his shoulders slumped visibly.

When he had left his parents to go find a pay phone to call Ennis he had felt on top of the world, felt he had grabbed the golden ring, like his future was looking brighter and brighter …. but now he was in the pits. "Well, Shit!" he said aloud, and began to call Childress to see what was up at home.

Jack knew he had to watch what he said, 'cause what he wanted to say to Lureen, was "what the hell did you do to my Ennis!" Of course, he kept that to himself, but it was very difficult.

Jack reached Lureen, reversed the charges so the call could be charged to his home phone, and hurriedly determined the cause of her alarm. "His teacher said What?"

"Yes, Jack, Bobby's teacher said he's probably going to be left back this term. He hasn't been applying himself, and he's got such an attitude you wouldn't believe."

"He's almost seventeen, Lureen, all kids have rotten attitudes at that age, didn't you? asked Jack.

"No, I did not sir, and I also didn't run with a pack a wild hyenas. Bobby is changing right in front of my eyes. Damn it Jack, I wish you were here to handle this. You know I can't make him do anything he doesn't want to."

Jack sighed heavily. What could he possibly do about it from here? Why did this have to happen at this time when he needed, and Yes, wanted, to be right here in Wyoming, with Ennis and his own extended family.

"I don't know what to say, Lureen," he insisted, "I can't be in two places at one time, goddamit. I'll have to think about this. If only I could get him up here for the summer, we might work out his problems, or knock loose some a that attitude you mentioned.."

"I'll think about this for a day and then we can make a decision together when you call at 9 p,m, tomorrow night, awwright?"

"Alright, Jack, but you gotta do something about his behavior. I can't take it any more." complained Lureen.

Jack's inner voice rebelled at this demand of hers. And where the hell were you Lureen, all those years I wanted to get him a Tutor and you fought me tooth and nail on it? Jack had some hard feelings but did not voice them. No need. Too late.

Fuck, thought Jack to himself, why'nt anything ever work out right for me, just once? He was frantic to go see what had set Ennis off, but needed to stay here for his mother's sake, and to bring her home this eve'nin' .

Jack thought his dad looked a bit better than he had yesterday, and said so.

John still wouldn't talk unless it was just Claire in the room. He was embarrassed at how he slurred his words. The stroke had affected the right side of his body, and he was impatient with the effects of it on his usually hale and hardy self.

His thoughts were dark, accusatory, and angry. Half a man, his mind railed to an unhearing God. Cain't do my work and take care a my ranch and my family, might as well be dead. Why'd you let me live anyway!

Fortunately, Claire Twist could not hear her husband's words, as she ministered to him. She was glad to help him eat his meals, and drink through a straw. She knew it belittled him when the juice ran out of the paralyzed side of his mouth. But she dealt with it as a minor difficulty, part of a temporary situation.

Jack was reading a newspaper article to his dad about the Texas Rangers spring training camp. The Rangers was one of the few passions that John Twist admitted to. Jack used to wonder if his dad would make a trip down to Texas, and the two of them could go to a Rangers game or two. But it had never happened. Never once.

John Twist leaned back and closed his eyes while Jack read. Was that a smile Jack saw? When the article was finished, Jack folded the paper and began looking at all the get well cards that had accumulated around his dad's room. Well, wha 'dya know, here was one from "Jack, Lureen, and Bobby Twist". That was nice of her, Jack grudgingly admitted.

Jack could hear conversation coming up the hospital corridor, and then Uncle Walter and Aunt Iris walked in bearing fresh strawberries from their garden. They greeted John, Claire and Jack warmly. Jack decided he really liked Uncle Walter, he was someone a person could depend upon in a crunch. Hey, maybe there was another benefit to this visit. Jack was calculating the timing of their visit.

"How long you planning on visiting today, Uncle Walter?" asked Jack. "Well, we won't be staying too long, my boy. We have to get up on Three West, our neighbor, Mr. Adkins had surgery for a double or triple bypass, not sure which. We planned to go up and pay our respects, then come back down here. Thought maybe you and your mama would like to stop at the

Blue Angus with us for supper tonight."

Claire smiled at Iris and Walter, "That sounds real nice, she said." And Jack knew he had his way out.

"Well, reason I ask" said Jack, "is Lureen called awhile ago, and said she has some kinda emergency. Since you're here now, I figure I can leave and go see to her problems, whatever they may be. And you folks could drop mama off after you all have a nice dinner."

Jack nearly spun out of the hospital parking lot, racing to get to Ennis to see what was going on in his head, and whether Jack would be able to patch up whatever it was.


	8. Chapter 8

A Better Idea

Chapter Eight

Lureen Newsome Twist was vaguely uneasy and not just about the situation with Bobby. She kept going back to the voice on the telephone; what he said, and what he didn't say.

The first stunning realization was that Jack hadn't been lying all these years. So Ennis Del Mar does exist, and he is a male fishing buddy just like Jack always said. Many times Lureen had thought that there was no Ennis, no fishing trip, and no Bighorn Mountains, but that it was all an elaborate smokescreen set up by Jack to cover a decades-long affair, or as they say in the movies, Another Woman.

She knew she should be feeling relieved right about now because Jack had been telling her the truth all along. But the uneasiness showed no signs of going away.

She remembered the many times he was getting ready to go meet Ennis in Wyoming, how Jack would take such great pains with his preparations. Days in advance of his planned departure he would: clean the tent and blankets and let them air dry, pack gear and clothing for any weather eventuality, water-proof his boots, wash and wax that truck, rub down his saddle till it was supple and gleaming, even plan meals and make sure he had all the ingredients packed in waterproof containers and zip-lock bags. The day before he left he would top off the gas tank so that once on the road he would not have to stop as early or often on his way to meet his friend in the Bighorn Mountains.

The odd thing is that none of this is like Jack. Her Jack is handsome, charming and a smooth off-the-cuff speaker. He meets new people easily, will try new things, buys the newest gadgets, but Jack is NOT a Preparer, Jack is NOT a Planner, definitely NOT a Detail-oriented person who writes a To-Do list and checks off each item like a NASA Rocket Man; 10, 9, 8, 7, 6. No, her Jack would just Blast Off to the Moon and worry about the details if and when they came up or presented a problem. For his Wyoming fishing trips, Jack became a NASA Rocket Man, ticking off each completed item.

Nothing shakes Jack Twist. The man Lureen married calmly anticipates a Combine Sales Presentation for their major clients, hosting a community charity event, or being interviewed by the Childress Sentinal for the Business section, without a single moment of nervousness. She sometimes thinks he has ice-water in his veins.

When something doesn't please him he speaks up about it right away, no holding back. For this reason also, they never have big fights because everything is handled or discussed right when it comes up. Unlike many men, Jack has no problem discussing issues, nor even apologizing if it turns out that he is wrong. He is always quite open and sincere.

On the other hand, before Jack leaves for Wyoming every time he fidgets. Fidgets! More than once Lureen has noticed him bouncing his leg like he has the jitters, and as the day draws near for his departure he is so excited he paces the floor. It makes her think of a beautiful, thoroughbred horse in the starting gate trembling with anticipation.

What's wrong with this picture? she thought.

With his wife Jack is funny, teasing, friendly, perhaps like the brother she never had? No, it feels more like a best friend. With her, he is never dark and passionate. Oh, they make love, but usually because she makes a move towards him. Yes, Jack definitely likes sex with her, he's always willing and able. Jack is just so sweet, he is a cuddler, he doesn't roll over and go right to sleep after sex, they chat or laugh. Her girlfriends envied her when they heard that.

Hell, they already envied her when they saw her fine looking husband, she knew that, she could see their eyes dart over to check him out. For so long, she thought that was everything, that it was enough.

When they first met, it was obvious that she and Jack came from different worlds. She was used to having every thing and every opportunity that she wanted, and was used to being doted on. Jack was used to having nothing but what he could carry in that ratty old truck, and damn little of that. I fear that Jack doesn't even know what doting looks like, she thought.

Making it look surprisingly effortless, Jack had fit in everywhere she introduced him, except with her daddy. Well, let's face it she thought, no man alive would ever be good enough for L.D.'s little Lureen. She assumed that with time her father would come around; he would see how good Jack was to her, see how happy she was, and he'd be reconciled to the marriage. They could all be a real family then. But it had never happened.

Partly Lureen felt guilty about this because she went after Jack wanting him for herself, but knowing her daddy would hate him. He would hate her settling for a dirt poor rodeo rider without a cent to his name, nor any standing in the community, an itinerant really. She could not forget the most unforgivable put down of all. L.D. Newsome never called his son-in-law Jack, not once. He tagged him with the name "rodeo" and that was it from then on. It was not an endearment, it was meant as a reminder of where he came from.

When Jack finally had enough and stood up to L.D. it was the beginning of the end. Her daddy was not above sulking, and sulk he did. Till the day he died he would not make it up with Jack, and consequently, every family gathering was tense and strained. Most folks would probably have ceased having them. But Lureen was an only child and needed her parents' approval as well as their presence at every holiday and at every celebration.

When her daddy died the animosity was still there to the bitter end. He never accepted Jack. L.D. constantly made light of Jack's genuine sales abilities, his intelligence and of his traits as a husband and father. It wasn't fair to Jack and she could remember him pulling away in self defense.

It's true enough, and it shamed her, that she did not stand up for Jack like she should've. Her daddy was bull-headed and he could get loud if you disagreed with him. He was a man used to getting his own way.

Those memories of how her family, especially her father, treated Jack makes her realize, possibly for the first time, just how much he has put up with all these years. Guess it's no wonder he needs to get away, relax and go fishing two or three times a year, she thought.

Lureen's thoughts returned to today's conversation with Ennis Del Mar. He was certainly knowledgeable about Jack's exact whereabouts, he was helpful but she could tell he was clenching up as the conversation wore on.

Concern for her and Bobby's safety and well-being flowed easily from his mouth. What did he know about them, really? He had not met her nor Bobby; so did Jack talk about his family while they were fishing? On the phone he almost felt like a family member, his tone was that familiar.

From what the man said, he lives several hours away from Jack's parents' house. And yet he dropped everything to come to the aid of a fishing buddy.

Lureen tried to think of one of her friends who would do as much if needed.

She couldn't think of a single one.

I wonder if Ennis has a serious girlfriend? He said he and his wife have been divorced for several years. Wonder why Jack never mentioned any of that to her?

Come to think about it, Jack never offers any details about his time away on his fishing trips. Anything else Jack does, he recites chapter and verse about what occurred. He shares the good stuff, the bad stuff, the trivial and boring stuff. But never one word about his time spent in the Bighorn Mountains with Ennis Del Mar.

And then there's the drinking.

As a young married couple, they would have a beer or two at a Friday night barbeque, but that was the extent of their drinking.

As they became more well known in the business community, there were more dinners, more dances, always there was a bottle nearby, in addition to the beers they started with, and then wine for her, as well. But still, they were moderate drinkers, both of them.

The problem became evident about 7 or 8 years ago, around 1975. Jack's drinking suddenly became markedly heavier. Every time he came back from one of his fishing trips, it seemed he was drinking to become obliterated. Wasted, Unconscious. At those times, she could not get through to him, nor understand what was driving him so mercilessly. It was crazy to think it, but she almost got the feeling that he wanted to forget where he was.

The idea that was developing was murky, something was not right, that much was evident. Lureen's head hurt, and she had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. Whatever it was she was trying to find, or figure out, it eluded her, just out of her grasp. However, one thing Lureen felt to be true; if she could connect all the dots in this puzzle, the picture that would emerge would be of one Ennis Del Mar.


	9. Chapter 9

A Better Idea

Chapter Nine

Well, at least Ennis' truck is still here, thought Jack as he pulled into the yard at his daddy's place, I cannot imagine what Lureen said to set him off but I know it was somethin' awful, That was obvious, state he was in when he answered that phone.

Briskly, Jack walked towards the barn while scanning the nearby fields to see if he could find Ennis. He didn't see him anywhere so he started calling, "Ennis, Ennis! Where are you?" He caught sight of a movement down along the creek and turned to join his friend. As he moved toward Ennis, Jack felt he was walking into a minefield where a bomb was set to blow up in his face.

I shoulda drove the truck over here to b'gin with, groused Ennis to himself. He was clearing brush along the creek, and sawing it up in lengths short enough to fit in the bed of a pickup. He didn't want to burn it here; it was too close to the trees. When he got a truckload done, he'd go fetch the truck and haul it all over to the burn pile Jack showed him last night.

Jack sees that Ennis has already cut a big stack of brush, so he's goin' at it with a vengeance, he thought. That doesn't seem like a good thing. Turning on his heel, Jack went back the way he had come, and got his pickup. He drove out to help Ennis load up the wood.

At the creek Jack got out and the two of them, without saying a single word, began filling the truck bed with the limbs and brush that Ennis had cut since talking to Jack on the phone. The truck loaded, Jack handed Ennis a cool bottle of water, and indicated a stump for Ennis to sit down on.

Jack sat opposite him, took a drink of his water and looked searchingly into his Cowboy's face. "What in the hell happened, Ennis?" implored Jack, "What did Lureen say to you?"

Ennis: "Said she was your wife."

Jack: "What? 'Course she's my wife, Cowboy, what do you mean?"

Looking at the ground, Ennis explained, "Jack I never expected her to be a real person."

"oh god, what are you talkin' about Ennis? You've known about Lureen bein' my wife since Bobby was a baby, when you 'n me found each other again. All these years we've been together, we talked about our families. I don't get it; I wasn't keepin' nothin' from you." Jack was beside himself trying to understand this line of conversation or Ennis' reasoning.

"Well, Jack, it never hit me till today when I heard her on the phone, heard a real woman's voice, that she was, uh, I don't know how to say this. That she could be hurt, that what I was doin' to her was so bad. To Bobby too, it never crossed my goddamn mind that I am stealin' their husband and daddy right away from them. Sneaky like. It feels like shit, Jack." Ennis stopped talking and just sat in his misery.

Jack: "oh."

Jack wanted to hold Ennis, to somehow make it all better. But he didn't know how to make it better. Still, every muscle in his body, every ounce of blood in his veins was yearning toward Ennis as positive yearns toward negative on a magnet. Slowly Jack got up and walked over to Ennis and sat down on the ground facing him. He took hold of one of his hands and interlaced his own fingers with Ennis' the way they were this morning at the breakfast table.

Jack: "Ennis, you see these two hands together here? This is the way they should be, this is the way they were meant to be since we met on Brokeback.

You n' me, boy. Us. We were together before Alma, we were together before Lureen, and if we had the guts, or the smarts we would've kept it this way from the beginning. Ennis, we didn't know no better then."

Ennis: "Are you saying we know better now, Jack? Cause I don't know that we do. It's all so screwed up." Ennis sat thinking, and then continued, " I know that I'm only me, when I'm with you. I know that waking up with you by my side every day of my life is the only thing that makes sense to me. But I don't feel that it's alright for us to hurt other people anymore, Jack."

"You're right, Ennis. You n' me are going to have to figure out what to do about that. C'mere." Jack put his arms around Ennis and pulled him down on the ground. He wrapped himself around him in a curl, spooned. Comforted.

Minutes passed, each was aware of the other's breathing, of their hearts beating, and they were glad to have the other to hang on to. The birds chirped, the sun moved and still they lay on the ground together.

Stirring, Ennis said, "Jack?"

Jack: "Yeah, Cowboy?"

Ennis: "This is real nice, 'cept for the wood chips stickin' in the side a my face."

Sitting up, Jack smiled, helped Ennis sit up and then brushed leaves and twigs off his face, and off his own face. Ennis smiled back.

"I know nothin' is solved, that this ain't over" said Jack, "but I promise you, we will work through this. I will make it right with Lureen; give her her freedom or whatever it takes. I'll see what she wants to do. Nothin' rash, we'll have to see. Okay, Ennis?"

Ennis sat silently, saying nothing, but looking into Jack's face, meeting his gaze.

"Okay, Ennis?" repeated Jack.

Ennis sighed, took Jack's hand in his own and said "Okay. Let's work on this."

They stood up and brushed themselves off before getting into the truck. Saying nothing, they drove over to the burn pile and stacked all the newly cut brush on top. Before Jack started the engine, Ennis asked "What did Lureen call about today? Is somethin' wrong at the house?"

Quickly Jack re-capped his earlier conversation with Lureen, and closed with the dilemma that he was supposed to solve by tomorrow night at 9.

Ennis: "Seems like you only got one choice, Jack, you gotta bring him up here to stay with you for the next few weeks till you go back home. Only thing, you'll have to talk it over with your mother, 'cause she might not think that a house full a people would be good for your dad when she brings him home."

Jack: "You came to the same thought as me, only you done it a lot quicker."

Ennis: "How do we get him up here from Texas?"

Jack's heart sang with joy when he heard that "we" come out a Ennis' mouth.

"I will check with Uncle Walter about which airport is the best to fly him into. Probably Casper, I'd guess. He can ride back with me when daddy's back on his feet. Well, dunno, his school might start 'fore that happens. The details can be hashed out later."

Ennis: "When's his school out down there? If he comes in on a Friday night, I can pick him up for you at the airport, that way you won't have to leave your folks on their own. If you want me to, o' course, and it ain't too awkward for ya." A pause hung on the air. "Jack?"

"What Cowboy?" Jack was wearing a big smile because Ennis had practically said he was planning on coming back up to Lightning Flat again.

"I'm sorry, Jack, guess I was jumpin' the gun a bit there. I assumed you'd want me back here again at times, that's why I offered to pick up Bobby on my way up here. But I can see that will be uh, strange for you. You probably won't want me hangin' around here when Bobby comes, that'd be real awkward."

Jack pointed his finger at Ennis, "Shut the hell up, will you? I don't want to have to say this more'n once, Del Mar. I Fuckin' Want You Here! I want you to be wherever I am, or I need to be where you're at. Got it? Whenever you can, as often as you can, okay?"

Ennis grinned, "Yessir, Mr. Jack Fuckin' Twist, sir!"

Jack: "Seriously, Ennis, right now it's me that is needed by my folks, so this is where I need to be, and I hope you'll be with me as much as you possibly can. The next time, it might be you who has to do something, be somewhere, and I'd hope that you would want me there, for support, for whatever you need.

Jack took a deep breath, "Okay, here's a general rule, got a pencil? No, I'm just kiddin' about the pencil, Ennis.

Rule number 1. Always not sometimes Always assume I want you with me, wherever I am. Got it? Okay.

Rule number 2. Re-read rule number 1.

Jack turned toward Ennis, drew his face close for a kiss, and put their foreheads together. Jack had his hand cupped at the back of Ennis' head and just held on to him. They looked at each other, and appreciated the love they saw reflected there.

"Hey", said Ennis, "let's walk a bit, okay?" "Sounds fine with me", said Jack. So, arms around each other's waists, thumbs hooked into belt loops, they walked across the pasture, away from the house. The pickup was left beside the burn pile, keys in the floorboard.

"Is your mother up at the house wonderin' what's become of us?" asked Ennis.

Jack remembered, "Oh no, I didn't get a chance to tell you, she went to supper with Uncle Walter and Aunt Iris over at the Blue Angus. They'll bring her home after. If you're hungry, Ennis, we could go join them."

Ennis: "Nah, if it's all the same to you, I'd just like to spend tonight with you, Jack."

Jack: "Very good, young man, sounds like you been readin' up on Rule #1."

Ennis: "Yes, sir, I have. It's a good rule." And with that said, Ennis stopped walking, took Jack in his arms and kissed him like he wanted him body and soul, wanted him for all time. "Hmm, what'll it be, Mr. Twist? The pasture, the hay mow, or our very own bed upstairs?"

"Can't I choose all three?" Jack asked, only half joking.

Taking advantage of having the house to themselves, Jack and Ennis took a shower together and initiated the Twist's bathroom. Shampoo and soap suds flying everywhere, they had a slippery, sexy good time. Ennis remembered to mention to Jack that he needed his hair cut when they both had time.

Upstairs in the cool bedroom, the window curtains blowing gently in the breeze, they anticipated a rare treat of making love in an actual bed. However, the bed felt kind a confining after all those years in the bedroll in the tents, so they threw all the blankets on the floor and got down here they could stretch out fully. They decided that was a big improvement.

They cooled down, smoked a cigarette, and snuggled for awhile; Jack remembered something, and told Ennis, "be right back, cowboy".

Still naked, Jack returned, carrying a kitchen chair, a glass of water, a comb and a pair of scissors. Slung over his shoulder were the damp towels they used to wipe up the bathroom after their shower.

Ennis looked up from the pillow, kinda drowsy, "What're you doin' ?"

"Lookin' for a haircut, ain'tcha? C'mere." Jack got it all set up, one towel on the floor under the chair, the other towel around Ennis' shoulders, and went to work trimming the blond locks. Jack brushed by Ennis at each turn, first wetting and cutting the front of his hair, then trimming the back, combing to be sure it was even, standing closer than was absolutely necessary for a professional job.

"Hmm, I bet you could go into business and make a fortune, Jack." Ennis said.

Jack: "That so? Doin' what?"

Ennis: "Naked haircuts, $20 an hour!" Jack laughed slyly.

It was a real haircut, but an erotic dance at the same time, and whenever a body part rubbed or brushed past another body part, one or both of them would gasp with pleasure. They enjoyed pretending they didn't know what they were doing to each other, but their bodies betrayed their secrets,

their erections undeniable. And delightful.

Later, catching his breath, Jack said, "this reminds me of the first time you cut my hair on Brokeback, Ennis. I thought I'd die wanting you so much and you acting all innocent and unaware."

Ennis remembered too, and laughed so hard the tears were running down his face. "god, Jack I thought your hair would never grow back right again!" He remembered that he started the haircut with innocent intentions, till the intimacy of the act worked on him so much he couldn't stand it any longer. Took them the whole night to get Jack's hair evened up. After the first frantic snips, they had gotten too distracted. Oh My! Well it's funny now, twenty years later.

How strange, thought Ennis. Twenty years loving one man, this is the longest relationship of my entire life.

"Jack," began Ennis, "do you realize that sometime this summer is our 20th anniversary?"

"Yeah, I sure do, Ennis. I been thinkin' Id get you a set a beaded napkin rings." snickered Jack.

Ennis jumped on Jack and started punching him wherever he could land a punch and they both grabbed and held on, cherishing this rare and unexpected bonus of time spent together to love and to play.

By the time they realized they were hungry, and were getting dressed to go raid the refrigerator, they heard Uncle Walter's car coming into the yard. Perfect timing they thought, hopping down the stairs two by two.

"Pssst!" said Jack, "Ennis you check what we got to eat in the frig, I'll make sure the bathroom's presentable!"


	10. Chapter 10

A Better Idea

Chapter Ten

Claire Twist was enjoying the evening drive with her brother and sister-in-law. They were coming home from the Blue Angus where they'd had a nice dinner together. These were the first moments of this day where she could catch her breath and relax. In Walter's car, she was not responsible for anything. What a sense of peace, she thought as she lay her head back on the headrest.

At the hospital every day, she wanted to do so much to help him, but John needed the skill and expertise of the doctors, nurses, aides and therapists. She enjoyed doing what she could to feed him his meals and see that he had a little conversation to keep his mind active. At times she felt so helpless.

It was quite the opposite at home where she was in charge of the well-being of everyone under her roof. But, God's Honest Truth, she thought, I love being the one seeing to those under my roof. Especially now, when the boys are home.

Her thoughts returned to Jack and Ennis and wondered what would become of them, whether they'd ever be able to make a life together. She so hoped they could find a way to work it out, and be happy. But there was nothing she could do about it one way or the other. It was their life to create against the odds. Sometimes it just broke her heart.

There is one thing I can do for them, she thought. I can make sure they have some time on their own before Ennis leaves for Riverton tomorrow.

She roused herself as Walter pulled the car into the yard in front of her house. "Please come in," she invited, "have some coffee and dessert. I'd like you to meet Jack's friend who's come up to help us for the weekend."

When Claire opened the door and led Walter and Iris into the house, Ennis was standing there searching through the refrigerator. "Well, guess I got caught red-handed" said Ennis. "I am The Baloney Bandit, and I jes' broke into your house to see if you had any baloney."

Claire laughed, Add Funny to his list of fine qualities, she thought. "Ennis, we can do better than baloney. I will get you some supper heated up in a minute, but first, come here I want you to meet my brother, Walter Bell, and his wife Iris."

The "Pleased to meet you" 's went around, and Walter and Ennis started talking about some issues with the stock feed market that every rancher in the state was frustrated over this year.

Claire put on a fresh pot of coffee, then busied herself heating up food for Jack and Ennis. She pointed to the cake plate and indicated for Iris to cut five slices, one for each of them. These two women had gone to the same high school and had known each other before Iris caught Walter's eye. From years of old habit, they were comfortable working together in each other's kitchens.

Jack came in the room, demanding, "what smells so good in here?". He walked over and hugged Iris hello, then nodded at Walter. Went back to the stove and put his arms around his mama and nuzzled her neck. Claire shrugged him away, laughing 'cause it tickled, "I know your type, you'd love on anybody'd feed you, wouldn't you mister?"

"Purty much." agreed Jack impishly. He looked over at his Cowboy to see if he had heard that exchange, 'cause Ennis had cooked for him when they first met at the camp up on Brokeback. There was no sign he had heard it.

The amiable party of five congregated around the dinner table and ate and drank coffee and talked. The conversation was pleasant and light.

As if she just thought of it out of the blue, Claire asked, "Iris, if you and Walter are going to church services in the morning, can you stop by and pick me up, please?" When they assured her that it would be no problem, she said "what time should I expect you to be here?"

Much of the talk centered on Jack and how things were going for him and his little family down in Texas; then on to the topics of inflation, draught and grass fires.

When the guests had departed, and the dishes were cleared, Claire told Jack and Ennis, "Guess you two will have to be on your own in the morning. I will not get back until noon, most likely. But we'll have a nice Sunday dinner when I get back, I'll put a roast and vegetables in the oven before I leave for church at 8 a.m., and it'll be tender and juicy by the time I get back. How's that sound? Think you can manage on your own for a few hours?"

As Claire prepared some dishes for the next day's meal, they stayed nearby and asked her how John Twist was faring, and whether she knew when he'd be released. His condition and treatment took up the rest of the conversation, till they said they were going out for a walk.

"Come out for a walk with us, ma'm, would you? It's a nice night for it." urged Ennis. Claire couldn't remember the last time she'd been invited out to walk by a handsome your man, and knew that it was a special occasion, a memory to be hugged to her heart for a long time to come.

"Well, thank you Ennis, I believe I would like that," Claire said, "just let me go and change into my walking shoes."

The three of them strolled along the gravel drive and down the lane. Claire took Jack's right arm to prevent a stumble, and that left the other arm for Ennis. They tried walking with their arms draped around each other's hips as they had earlier in the day, but it caused them to be out of step with Claire, so they settled for holding each other's belt loops.

"How long can you stay with us, Ennis?" asked Claire.

"Well, ma'm, I'll be needin' to get on the road tomorrow, early. It's a seven or eight hour drive back to Riverton. Was thinkin' I'd leave around noon, but since I heard you tell about the fine dinner we're having I thought I'd put it off till after that, should leave by two, latest.

Upon hearing Ennis' departure plans put into words, Jack's stomach knotted up. He took his finger out of Ennis' belt loop and ran it along his cheek and down his jaw, Ennis turned his face to kiss Jack's finger. Replacing his finger back in Ennis' belt loop, Jack tugged his Cowboy over to walk a little closer to him.

"Ennis, my boy, you have no idea how happy it makes me to see you eat. That belt of yours looks like you've cinched it in to a new hole lately. I'd like to put some meat on your bones." stated Claire. "Not careful, this Wyoming wind might could blow you away."

"Guess you ain't never tasted my cooking, ma'm" joked Ennis, "right there's the difference. If I ate at your table everyday I'd have to let this belt out the other way."

By the time they returned to the house, they were all relaxed, cooled and a bit drowsy. They said their good nights, with hugs all around and went off to their beds.

Jack and Ennis had to re-make their bed, as all the blankets were still on the floor. They stood on either side of the bed and gave them a good shake-out and put them on the bed again. They undressed, draped their clothes over a chair and climbed under the covers.

As was their habit, they held each other closely, kissed lightly and lovingly and after awhile, settled down; their breathing slowed. Though Ennis had a busy and emotionally draining day, he could not drop off to sleep. His mind kept revisiting the past twenty-four hours; the warm buzz of family in and out of the house, talking, eating, and laughing together. It has been so many years since Ennis was part of a family; he almost felt like he couldn't catch his breath right now, there was a tightening in his chest. He couldn't begin to put into words how sweet it felt to be welcomed by this family.

I guess this is just one more thing that Jack risks losing because of me. If he and I were to take up ranchin' together, his family would be gossiped about, same as us. They don't deserve that. I wonder if he realizes what he has, and how it could turn around in an instant?

Then he smiled into his pillow. 'Course we won't lose his mother, she's a Ace of a woman. I never expected her to be like this, never in a million years. Ennis pulled Jack's hand to his mouth and kissed his palm, and then his thumb before tucking it firmly across his own chest. Ennis fell asleep smiling.

Next to Ennis, Jack knew his Cowboy wasn't quite asleep. He hoped he wasn't over there worryin' and conjurin' up troubles before they hatched. Jack felt Ennis pull his hand over and kiss him secretly, then wrap up and go to sleep. It could be a real sweet life, thought Jack as he went to sleep.

In the morning, both Jack and Ennis were outside taking care of some early chores, before Claire came out of her room dressed for church. She put an apron on over her dress, made a pot of coffee, then checked on her egg, bread and sausage casserole. It was almost done, about 5 minutes more would do it. She sprinkled more cheddar cheese across the top to brown.

She sliced three fresh tomatoes onto a favorite old blue plate and set it on the table. Remembering the hot chafing dish, she placed a couple of thick pads on the table. Three places were already set; she poured a glass of water for each of them, and placed a small pitcher of milk on the table. She set their empty coffee mugs on the stove top to knock the chill off, so their coffee would not start cooling so quick. When the timer rang for her original recipe 'western omelet casserole', she placed the covered dish on the hot pads and opened the door to call them in to eat. "Breakfast's gettin' cold!"

By 7 a.m., the day had not brightened. As he washed up for breakfast at the basin, Ennis checked out the sky, wondering if the overcast would burn off, or stay and bring mist or rain for his drive. Let be, let be.

At the table, Claire was reaching for their hands again. Ennis took her hand, and Jack's and bowed his head. With so much to be thankful for at hand, he found it hard to concentrate on the words of the prayer, until she came to the good part. "Dear Lord," began Claire, "It is another beautiful day you've given us, and we are grateful for it. We thank you for this food which we are about to receive, may it nourish our bodies, as to your plan. Lord, watch over our friend, Ennis, as he drives home today, and bring him back to us safe and sound." "Amen." said Jack and Ennis, still holding hands.

The conversation flowed easily while they ate and drank. The clatter of dishes and flatware joined in Ennis' ears to complete the homey sound. He thought he would save this memory, tucked away for times when he was lonesome, and he would feel like he belonged again. He wanted to belong to these people; he would just have to think of a way to make it possible.

The table was cleared. As they lingered over their second cups of coffee, Jack told tales about the many trips he'd made up this road, arriving from Texas or from the Bighorns after seeing Ennis. "Oh, my gosh" said Jack, "I never told you about the near miss the other night. A deer ran out in front of my truck. I braked so hard, I blew a tire; then three men stopped along the road and came up to me."

Ennis' old nightmares of tire irons flashed in front of his eyes and his heart was pounding so fast, he could barely breathe, "How could this slip your mind, Jack? I don't get it, what happened? This isn't funny by a longshot."

So, Jack recounted the events, how Uncle Walter, Kenneth and Roger had helped him change the tire, and get him on his way home safely.

Claire put the Sunday dinner she had assembled into the oven in an old navy and white speckled, covered roasting pan. She set the heat on fairly low. She went into the bathroom to repair her lipstick, the only make up product she had used in her life, she ran a comb through her hair, as it was time for her brother and sister-in-law to pick her up for early church services.

In the dining room, she put her arm through Ennis' and gently pulled him into the kitchen. She looked into his face and spoke seriously to him, "This morning is my gift to you and Jack. Don't spend it on ranch work. Make it count." Placing her hands on either side of his face, she kissed his cheek.

Ennis took hold of her hands where they rested on his face, pulled them together to his lips and kissed her hands gently, once each. Looking into her eyes, he said, "I can't begin to tell you how it makes me feel, You treating me like a son."

Claire hugged Ennis fiercely, and then wiping her eyes, she walked into the dining room calling, "Where's that son o' mine?"

Jack called from the bathroom, "Ahm bruffin ma teef!"

Claire laughed at her crazy son, and turned to Ennis, "Will you tell him exactly what I told you?"

Ennis nodded; smiling at her, he said "Yes ma'm, You bet!"

Mrs. Twist waved to Ennis; said, "Thank you, dear." Then she walked out the door to wait for her ride to church.

End of Chapter 10


	11. Chapter 11

A Better Idea

Chapter Eleven

Jack came out of the bathroom; Ennis walked over to him, put both his arms around him and kissed him, thoroughly. "Hmmm, minty fresh." said Ennis.

Jack: "What was that for?"

Ennis: "Oh, just something your mother told me to do."

Jack: "What? Why, where is she?"

Ennis: "More coffee, Jack?"

Jack: "Sure, if you're havin' some, Ennis."

So while they had the last of the coffee, Ennis filled Jack in on what his mother had said about this morning being her gift to them, and how generous and loving she was to Ennis. He was almost overcome, retelling it.

"I have to tell ya, Ennis, I'm seeing a new side of my mother since my dad had that stroke. She says what she thinks, speaks right up no matter what. It's been an experience I never thought I'd live to see."

"She doesn't want to see us waste our lives, Jack. No more time, neither.

So what are we going to do with this gift of ours? It's up to us 100 percent"

Jack: "I think better when I'm walkin' Ennis. Let's go outside. Okay?"

As they strolled across the barn yard toward the pasture, they hung their arms around each other's hips and hooked thumbs into belt loops. They looked like what they were, two happy people, talking, waving their free hands in the air, laughing, stopping to drop random kisses on eyes, nose, mouth, neck . . . and then to walk again.

They were remembering some of their happiest times, and some of their silliest misadventures. They had a lifetime of them saved up, and rarely felt they had a chance like this to revisit them; a picture album of vivid images, the scenes so well-remembered.

Suddenly, Jack sobered, and looked at Ennis. "Can you come back next weekend, Ennis? Will you be able to?"

"Ever since I got here, Jack, I've been figuring out how I could do it. Come back again, I mean. There's a couple a problems with it, but I might be able to work something out. My horses is one problem," he continued. "I have'em boarded and I go on the weekends to clean out their stalls, brush'em down, talk to'em, and exercise them. It'll cost extra if I have Theo do all that as well as feed and water them every day. But it could be arranged I s'pose."

Jack asked, "What other problems would ya have if ya were to come back?"

Naming his biggest issue, Ennis said, "Well, on some weekends I see my girls. I would miss them like the devil if I didn't see them ever' once in awhile. Right now I only see them once a month, Jack. I can't give up my time with Junior and Jenny."

Apparently, once Jack got started, there was no stopping his imagination at work. "Could you visit with them during the week, Ennis? Cook them dinner, or go for a drive, or go get an ice cream? Say on a Tuesday or Thursday? Would that work just as well, Cowboy? Hell, you could even put in a couple a horse shoe pits and you could all play horse shoes while you grill up a hot dog or hamburger or somethin' . "

Ennis got so tickled, visualizing his spindly armed little girls heaving big clumsy horseshoes, he got the giggles. Explaining it to Jack, it just didn't sound as funny. But still the tears ran down his face.

"Hell Ennis, then make it Washers. They are light weight, and don't take up no space at all. That's a better idea." claimed Jack.

"That really could work, Jack," agreed Ennis, "it'll be summer soon and they won't have school the next day. I plan on seein' them this week, if I can."

Ennis was brain-storming out loud, "Maybe I could do some a the horse care and conditionin' on week nights too, I'll have to see if they'd allow me to come after hours."

Jack: "Sure, that might do it, Ennis, uh, OH wait! Hell, Ennis why don't you bring your horses up here? You could see them and take care a them on weekends, and during the week, I could do the daily stuff. They know me; they are certainly used to being around me."

"Are you sure, Jack?" asked Ennis, "Isn't that going to be tough on you when you have so much to do for your parents; especially when your dad gets home?"

And so it was settled. Ennis would come back. They had worked it out to the best solutions, and Jack was satisfied that his Cowboy would be by his side again soon.

"Okay, Jack, I'm satisfied that I can see my girls during the week, and my horses are going to be up here waiting for me. The next question we have to solve is, what do we do about Bobby?" asked Ennis.

"Uh, Ennis? Bobby's daddy needs some lookin' after right about now, and we can think about and talk about Bobby, in front of my mama, but we can't do this in front of her …. Mmmm." Jack started kissing Ennis while unbuttoning his shirt trying to get at skin as quickly as possible.

As if the bottom has fallen outa the sky, big fat rain drops started pelting them: head, shoulders, arms, every available surface. "Shit, that's cold!" yelled Jack, and he started running for the barn, with Ennis trailing. In a flash, Ennis passed him up and got to the barn first, opening the big door for Jack, and then as if by unspoken agreement, he headed for the ladder up to the hay mow.

Their blanket was still there, they shook it out good; again they hung their clothes on a nail, and again stretched out alongside one another to touch, kiss, taste and love. Making love on a rainy morning is the stuff of movies and love songs, but it was theirs for the taking, and they made full use of the privilege.

There was nothing they wouldn't do for each other and nothing they didn't try; exhausted, and chest heaving, Jack asked, "Do ya give up?"

Ennis, lying flat on his back with no ability to move a muscle, gave a mile-wide grin, and cried, "Uncle, uncle."

"Thank god" said Jack, "if you wanted any more I'd a had to hire it done." With that said, he fell over on his back, and lay still as the dead.

Ennis roused himself enough to get up on his elbow, lean over Jack and kiss his mouth. "Jack Fuckin' Twist, whatever would I do without you?"

Jack smiled. "You kinda like me, don'tcha Cowboy?"

"Yah, you'll do in a pinch." laughed Ennis.

Ennis turned his back to Jack, and was rewarded with Jack spooning up behind him. Ennis settled his head on Jack's arm and they rested and dozed that way for about 30 minutes.

Feeling his strength returning, Ennis said, "Jack this is nothin' like any other time we've ever had together. I'm tellin' you, bud, I'm likin' havin' family around, livin' in a house, havin' time together. I never knew it could be like this."

Jack quickly replied, "Me neither."

He continued, "Don't get me wrong, Ennis, I'll keep meetin' you out on the mountain till hell freezes over, especially if we have weeks like we just had last time. But I've always hoped we could have something closer to a life together. This weekend makes it seem even more real, even more doable."

They snuggled a bit closer, and held on tight. The time for Ennis' departure was creeping up on them, and they couldn't hold it at bay forever. Jack squeezed Ennis like he never wanted to let him go.

Ennis turned his face a bit toward Jack, and quietly said "I know, baby."

For five more minutes they put off the inevitable, kissing, and caressing faces, ears, necks and mouths. "Goddamit to hell, Ennis," said Jack, "I hate to see you go home and leave me here without you."

"Me too." said Ennis. "But I guess, the quicker I go, the quicker I can get back."

The rain had stopped for the time being, they dressed and got to the business of gathering up whatever Ennis had brought with him. He hadn't unpacked much, as they had most of what he needed except for a few personal items. His truck and gear were ready for him to drive off, whenever they finished the noon meal with Jack's mother.

The meal might be a bust, in spite of the delicious smells coming out of the oven, thought Ennis. He was feelin' the same ol' gut cramps that he always did when he knew he had to leave Jack. They weren't as bad, because he knew he was coming back next weekend, but still it was a hollow place in him that could only be filled by his Jack.

Upstairs, they realized that the room showed signs of having been recklessly used by a band of hooligans. They opened some windows, thinking the room could use an airing out. They stripped the sheets off the bed for the laundry, and they shook and folded the blankets, placing them in the blanket box at the foot of the bed. Jack took the "barber" chair back down to the dining room, smiling as he remembered the Naked Haircut,

Ennis grabbed the glass, comb, scissors, and towels, and took them downstairs to the appropriate places. He quickly washed up their breakfast dishes and set them to drain dry. He swept the dining room, then peeked into the roasting pan in the oven. Oh my, that smells good, he thought.

"Did you get you a nice shower, darlin' ? I have time for one too?" checked Ennis. So saying, he went into the steamy room and took a quick shower.

Jack went upstairs and swept the floor of the room where he had been so happy for the past two nights. Everything personal had been removed and once again it looked like an unused guest and storage room. But Jack would never again view it like that. It's the room where he climbed into bed beside Ennis Del Mar, slept through the nights, waking at sunup next to his Cowboy.

Scrubbed clean and fresh from their showers, Jack and Ennis, shaved and dressed in clean clothes. They were ready to face the world, but in no hurry to rejoin civilization. What they wanted was to spend the last bit of their time together, holding each other while talking quietly.

The ideal site would be a front porch, which unfortunately didn't exist, or a stairway wide enough to sit back to chest, one step lower than the other, with arms around the shoulders and holding on possessively.

They decided to go back to their hay mow, with a view onto the world. They propped up a bale of hay behind their blanket so they could sit snuggled one against the other, and talk or not, as they wished.

Ennis said, "Jack, you know what this place needs?"

"No, what?" asked Jack.

"A front porch for us to sit on like this, on a rainy day or a sunny day." said Ennis. "Actually, it would mean a lot for your dad to be able to get outside on a nice day, too. What do you say we build him a porch?"

"You know, that's a great idea, Ennis. We'll get started on that early this summer, okay? That would probably be a good project for Bobby to help with."

"Speaking of Bobby," said Ennis, "what do you think you're going to do or say to Lureen, about him coming up here?"

"Guess I'll just suggest that he come up for a few weeks. If she agrees with that, I'll find out when his school ends exactly, and then make a plan." replied Jack. "Since I can't call you, do you want to call me on Wednesday night, or

Thursday night to see if there's an update, or if I need you to bring something with you?"

"Yes, Jack. Depending on when I can get my girls, I'll give you a call one a those two nights. On Thursday after I get off from the ranch, I'll have to go get Scarlet and Gray from Theo's place, and let him know they won't be back for awhile. This month's already paid anyway.

Walter's Ford station wagon appeared on the gravel road turning into the Twist property, Ennis and Jack looked at each other, and sighed.

Time's up. The world is at our doorstep again, time to say good-bye. It was agonizing again. A person would think that this got easier, but it doesn't. They stood up.

Jack grabbed Ennis hard, clutched his arms around him and said "Christ, this is hard, it's killin' me to say good-bye to you, Cowboy."

Ennis was shaken; he was full of feelings of loss, and he hadn't even left yet. He pulled away from his man far enough to see his beloved face, he kissed Jack and clung there, like he was being dragged away by unseen forces. Ennis cupped the back of Jack's head, pulled back so he could see his face, and said "I'll be back, darlin' , I love you somethin' awful."

Jack was overcome to finally hear the words he had waited a lifetime for. He looked at Ennis, but for once was speechless.

Ennis: "I was wrong, Jack, that time I told you it was a one shot thing we had goin' on. Turns out, it's a powerful, Forever Shot thing we got goin' on here."

It took them a few minutes to hang onto each other and try to calm their emotions. They couldn't face Jack's mom, down there in her own kitchen now, looking as they did. They looked stricken, heartshot, and sad. They had to snap out of it, for her sake if for no other reason.

Jack took a deep, shuddering breath, straightened his spine, and asked Ennis, "Well, do I haf to drag your sorry ass down that ladder? We got us a Sunday dinner to eat."

Ennis shot out ahead of him, and bolted down the ladder to the main floor of the barn, yelling "Last one in's a Sheep Herder!"

The dinner went well; everything was delicious, as expected. Claire carefully packed up leftovers for Ennis to take home with him, to reheat for his supper. She also packed him some cold drinks for the drive.

There wasn't much conversation at the table, but Jack did remember to tell his mother how Ennis had come up with the idea to build a front porch onto the house, for dad to have a place where he could get outside. A relief for a man who has spent most of his life outdoors. Claire agreed that it was a fine suggestion. She promised to think about it, to see if there was any reason they should not do it. Maybe this project is just what John needs to engage his mind on somethin', she thought.

Jack realized that he hadn't mentioned Bobby coming up for the summer. Well, once Ennis was on the road, he would talk to her about that. He could not actually suggest it to Lureen, if it wouldn't be practical for mama.

Claire refused any help from Ennis, she told him she'd see to the cleaning up later.

Hanging his head, Ennis said, "Well then, looks like it's that time, I'd best get on the road."

On the porch, Claire hugged him fiercely, and holding his head against her shoulder, she spoke into his ear, "You make sure you come back next weekend, you hear? We'll be waiting for you. Drive safe, my boy."

With tears in his eyes, Ennis replied, "Yes ma'm. I sure will, Thank you for everything, ma'm."

Jack patiently waited while those two said their good-byes, then he stepped off the porch. He walked Ennis to his truck and took him in his arms. Jack kissed his Cowboy thoroughly, held onto him for longer than he should have, and said, "I'll talk to you Wednesday or Thursday. You drive safe, now. I love you, Cowboy."

When Ennis got into the cab and started the engine, he looked back at these folks who have come to mean so much to him. Jack had gone back to the porch and was standing behind his mother, with his arms around her in a protective stance. Ennis waved once, and drove down the gravel road towards Riverton.

Claire and Jack waved, then stood there on the porch, quietly watching till they could no longer see the aqua and white of the truck through the trees.

"I miss him already." said Jack.

"I do too, Jackie, I surely do." said Claire.

Then she added, "Let's get that dinner table cleared off, young man. We need to go see your daddy this afternoon."


	12. Chapter 12

A Better Idea

Chapter Twelve

In the misty pre-dawn hours Ennis awoke to find himself in his own bed, in his own trailer. He stretched as far as he could, and found himself smiling.

Was it all a dream, or had he really spent the weekend with Jack up at Lightning Flat?

He got up, stretched vigorously again, and put together the makings for a fresh pot of coffee. Heading for the bathroom to get himself showered and shaved, he looked in the usually empty fridge and there it was. The proof. A wrapped package of leftovers sent home with him by Mrs. Twist, Jack's mother. Ennis grinned again, just feeling happy to be looking at her handiwork. I cannot remember ever having someone send leftovers home with me, he thought, pleased with himself.

I'd better get a move on, he thought. The work won't get done, me standing here mooning over the generosity of Claire Twist.

As he showered, he remembered his last shower, the bathroom all steamed up from Jack's shower just before his. The one before that, they were in there together, soaping each other all over, and shampooing each other's hair, when they could remember to focus on cleanliness. Most of it was dream-like, but he remembered how sexy it was. Actually, he didn't need to remember, his body recalled the sensuous feelings, and reacted accordingly. "Ha!" surprised by his response to the memory, Ennis laughed out loud at himself.

Just then the hot water ran out, and he was pelted with icy cold fingers.

First time in his life that he stayed in the shower so long that the hot water ran out. That's what daydreaming will get you, he now knew.

Ennis dressed, filled his thermos with coffee, grabbed a slice of bread and a chunk of the cold beef roast that Claire had sent home with him. Okay, breakfast is served, he thought. Now, I just have to manage to drive one handed while I eat my food.

His day was just like every other day he'd worked at Stodemeir's Ranch; full of routine work and problems needing solved. It seemed like every other day, except it didn't. Underneath everything else ran a current of happiness, a thread of pleasantness that seemed to promise something to look forward to, as if this life, this work, was not all there was.

In the morning, Mr. Stodemeir had asked Ennis how the weekend went, and how his father-in-law was faring. He brought him up to date as much as he knew, and told him that he planned to go back this coming weekend, and to continue to help throughout the summer.

He also said that one thing he was excited about was the porch project. While Ennis was talking about the porch, he realized that he may need to plan for a ramp for the senior Mr. Twist, in case he's in a wheelchair for a time. In Ennis' mind he could see himself and Jack building this structure together; something solid and useful for the family to enjoy.

His reverie was interrupted by Herman's voice continuing, " . . . vill neet to be taken down. If you vant to do the verk on your own time, Innis, you could claim der lumber for your new porch. Tink it ofer und let me know, I vas goink to pay someone else do it, but this may verk oudt better all aroundt."

Ennis filed this bit of information away to think about later, he wanted to see the outbuilding before making his decision. He asked Mr. Stodemeir for the exact location, and made a mental note to check it out.

He had a round of vaccinations to give to one group of cows, and after that move some of the feed from the remote storage facility, closer to hand, as they were getting low in the barns. Before he knew it, the day was over and he was leaving. Without thinking about where he was going, Ennis drove to the Higgins Gift Shop, to look through the post card rack. Linda Higgins asked him what he was looking for, and when he told her Brokeback Mountain, she agreed to order one postcard for him.

Something behind the post card rack caught his eye, it was a similar rack, but this one had key chains in various colors and designs. Some of them had names on them. He used to look at these things all the time, but gave up because, although he could usually find "Jenny" on key chains, pencils, or notebooks, there was no chance he was going to find "Alma", so he had stopped looking at them.

Ennis found himself staring at a key chain with the name "Jack" on a red plastic heart. Without hesitating, he took it to the register and bought it. Linda sacked it up for him, looking curiously at this new glowing Ennis Del Mar. If she didn't know better, she'd think he was finally getting over the divorce. Poor guy's had a rough row to hoe, she thought. I hope he has found someone new, and she gave him a friendly smile along with his change.

He put the trinket in his glove box, then drove over to Alma and Monroe's house, to see if his girls were at home. Junior has a job at the Central Wyoming Power Company now, so he couldn't always catch her when he was in the neighborhood. But he was lucky this time. Both girls were home and they were helping their mom get dinner on the table.

In a matter of minutes, they agreed to have dinner with him on Wednesday night, he would pick them up at 5:30 p.m. He left feeling as happy as if he'd won the top Prize at the weekly Bingo game at the Grange Hall. He was filling his evenings productively and clearing his weekend. It was much easier than he would have ever thought. Guess you don't know till you try.

His next stop was Theo's place where he checked on Scarlet and Grey. He cleaned out their stalls, gave them an extra good brushing, combed their manes, and murmured to them in the special language he'd always used with his horses. As he was finishing up, Theo came by. Absently, the proprietor said "Missed you this weekend, everything all right?" "Uh yeah, in a way it is, Theo, but I had to go out of town. My father-in-law had a stroke up in Lightning Flat and is in the hospital. I went up there to try to keep the place from falling down around their ears while he's laid up."

"Oh, that's too bad, Ennis. I hope he gets better real soon." said Theo, trying his best to offer support to a friend.

"Thank you, Theo. I do too, but he's going to need help ongoing for awhile so I plan to go up there each weekend until he's on his feet or they figure out something else to do. Thing is, I'm planning on taking Scarlet and Grey up there, so it'll be easier for me to care for them. I can ride them and make sure they get some exercise. I was thinkin' this Thursday evenin' would be the best time for me to come by with the trailer and pick them up. I can't say for sure when they'll be back."

"Oh, sorry to hear that Ennis. You've had these two beauties boarded here a long time. We'll miss ya, and them too." sighed Theo, hating to lose a steady customer.

"Might be a temporary thing, Theo." said Ennis. "We'll hafta see."

Driving up to his trailer home, Ennis did the same thing he did every night of his life, but this night was nothing like any other night. It didn't depress him to be going home alone. He thought about the leftovers that he had in the fridge to reheat. They just might make the best meal that ever saw the inside of this trailer. Everything was the same, but nothing was the same.

Dang, he never had changed out that mailbox. Well, maybe he never would. Who knows, he thought. Ennis pulled his mail from the battered box and was happy to see the Hamley's Saddle Catalog had come. He could look it over while he ate his supper. While the meal heated in the oven, Ennis got a shower and cleaned up his bathroom, scrubbing the tub, toilet and sink, then wiping down the mirror.

Picking up his damp towels, then sniffing them, Ennis jerked back. Phew! He thought, how long have these been hanging here? He got out fresh towels and put the sour ones in the hamper. He looked at the dusty curtains hanging in his bathroom and took those down, as well.

My girls don't deserve to see their daddy living a sad sack life, everything surrounding him dingy and shabby, realized Ennis. This place is getting a good scrubbin' tomorrow night; tonight I'm headin' to the laundromat. He proceeded to check all the curtains and bedding, and pulled every bit of it off to take along. It would all be fresh again after tonight.

Ennis only owned one laundry basket, and that one only because Alma had insisted he take it filled with a few towels and a couple sheets when he was moving out. So he stuffed sheets, clothes and curtains into pillow cases, threw them in the back of the truck, and packed the detergent into the old pink plastic laundry basket. He decided to take his new catalog along to the coin laundry, to look at while his things got dry. He stopped only long enough to have his tasty meal and a bottle of Bud. It's amazin' how good a cold beer tastes after workin' all day, he thought.

Humming something pleasant, Ennis drove over to the laundromat. Actually, it was the same one where the little Del Mar family had lived in the upstairs apartment for several years. The swing set was no longer there, making him realize how long ago that was, and how grown up his girls are now. Seeing the parking lot and wooden stairway brought back happy feelings for Ennis.

He had the coin op place pretty much to himself, except for one bedraggled woman who looked as tired as if she'd already worked two jobs today, and still wasn't making ends meet. She knew her children needed the items she was washing, as they only had a couple changes of clothes. These were the best they owned, and were wanted for school picture day, set for the first thing tomorrow. "Would it have killed Kiley or Micah to mention School Picture Day last weekend, or even one day in advance?" she muttered as mothers do. It was never-ending. But she was not giving up, no matter what.

She smiled, thinking how cute those two would look posin' for their pictures.

Ennis picked four washers in a row, placed the coins in the little flat slots, and dumped detergent in while the water filled. When he was sure the soap had dissolved, he added the clothes, towels, bedding and curtains, keeping each of the loads balanced. As soon as he saw that all four machines were agitating real good, and none of them was overloaded, he went outside for a smoke and some wild old memories.

Ennis settled himself on the lowered tail gate of his pick up, lit a cigarette, and mentally sailed back in time to 1967, when all things became possible again_. It was Thursday evening, August 24th, Junior had just finished her supper and run off to play when I heard Jack's pickup pull into this lot,_ he remembered.

_Well, I'm getting' ahead a myself_, thought Ennis. _It_ _really started when I got home from work two weeks earlier, I was washin' up at the sink, Alma was fixin' supper, round steak and mashed potatoes, which as it turned out, I never ate. Anyway, she says to me, "Ennis, you know somebody by the name a Jack?" I'm lucky my goddamn legs didn't buckle under me, and I says "Maybe, why?" She goes on to tell me I got a postcard, come General Delivery._

_My hands was shakin' and still wet when I seen that picture a Brokeback Mountain layin' there on the kitchen counter. Had a been a snake, it woulda bit me, and I hadn't even noticed it till she called it out to me. I seen Jack's writin' on it, I'd know his scrawl anywhere. He told me he was coming through on the 24th and for me to "say if your there." It said Childress, Texas, plain as day. I had no idea how long it took a card to get to Texas, so I left right then and there for the post office, mumbling something to Alma about "we was fishing buddies", setting up a fiction that would last for years_.

_My heart was poundin' so, I could hardly ask for a plain postcard, and when I got it, all I wrote was "You bet." I put his address on the front and my Riverton address in the return address spot, and without another thought, I sent that card on it's way to Jack. All I could hope was that he got it in time to know where I was at._

_When the 24th come, I had no idea when he might get here, so I took the whole day off. Big mistake! I paced and smoke, I drank and paced. By about noon, my shower was wore off, so I took another one. As I'd started to say earlier, it was supper time or better when he finally got here. That was the first time all that livelong day, seein' him climb outa that truck, that I could get a full breath in me._

_All I remember is flyin' out that door up there and lookin' at Jack Fuckin' Twist walkin' towards me in real life, not no dream this time. I come down those stairs there, two at a time, and raced to get to him. I had no idea how we'd be, or what we'd do when we seen each other, but when we got there we knew. We grabbed so hard, I lost my breath and I heard him sayin' "son of a bitch!" What I needed most was to get my mouth on his, and without givin' it a thought, I pushed him under the stairway where the neighbors couldn't see, but to hell with them if they did, and kissed the livin' daylights outa that boy. And he gave me back as good, wet and salty as he got. _

_We pushed ourselves together from boot to knee to hip to forehead, trying to melt back into the one person who became our other half on the mountain that summer, never to become separate souls again. Never shoulda been neither. A lifetime ago!_

_How I ever pulled myself away from Jack long enough to remember to go upstairs to show him to Alma, I'll never know. I think I introduced them proper, but I can't swear to it. My entire body was thrumming with our complementary and instinctive rhythm. The song, "Jack's here! It's really Jack!" repeatin' in my head. Our familiar electricity snapped between us._

_That was four fuckin' years since we'd left each other, and I had no idea in all that time where he was at, or even if the Army had got him. We took a few days to be with each other, and it's been the same ever since. We get together way out in the middle of nowhere, as often as we can, and it kills us over and over whenever we have to drive off from one another. It's a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation, just as Jack said a couple a weeks back, up there at the trail head._

Ennis was day dreamin' and in such a state, he jumped a mile when his cigarette burned down so far it scorched his finger. "Shit!" he yelled, and laughed at himself. Get your butt in there, Del Mar and check your washing machines. That laundry ain't gonna wash,dry, and fold itself.

While his dryers were running, Ennis scanned the newest catalog, and dreamed of buying fancy get-ups for Scarlet and Grey, plumes for their heads, ribbons for their tales, and that fine Austrian saddle for himself, and one for Jack too! If you're dreamin' you might's well go big, he decided.

Ennis folded all his dry clothes, sheets and curtains. The towels and blankets were still a bit damp, but that wouldn't last long with this everlastin' Wyoming wind, he knew. So he loaded up his stuff and made one last trip out to the truck.

The woman was finished too, and as they walked out of the laundry together, Ennis gave her a happy smile and said "Just think, in a few days it'll all be dirty again." and they laughed, each going to their separate vehicles.

It was very late when Ennis finally threw two clean sheets on his bed and lay down to call it quits for another day. Pulling up a light blanket, he sighed, looked forward to another busy day tomorrow, and fell sound asleep.

tbc


	13. Chapter 13

A Better Idea

Chapter Thirteen

Jack had managed to get through Sunday fairly well, in spite of Ennis leaving this afternoon, because he was assured that his Cowboy would be back again on Friday night. Also Ennis would be calling on Wednesday or Thursday. Still, he missed him like hell; an actual ache in Jack's chest pinpointed the spot where Ennis should be resting his head tonight, but would not be. They'd never had so much constant contact in all their past twenty years together, though Jack had pushed and nagged for it. "Never enough time, never enough." he'd bitched just a week ago at the trail head. For that reason, it was very satisfying to think that it might be changing a bit, and might continue for awhile. Jack was unaware that he was smiling.

He had practically worn a groove in the floor with his pacing by the time the phone finally rang on the stroke of 9 p.m. "Who knew Lureen would be aware of the time difference, and call him when it was 9 o'clock, Mountain time. It's 10 p.m. in Childress, I expected her call an hour ago." he thought. Since there was only one phone in the Twist household, Jack had stayed close by and waited nervously. He grabbed the black handset, and spoke. "Twist Residence." Lureen kinda smirked, and said "Twist Residence, back atcha. How is it going up there, Jack? Ready to get back home?"

Instantly, Jack's entire body tensed, every fiber of his being, reacted to Lureen's use of the word "home", I AM HOME, he thought, Maybe for the first time in my whole fuckin' life!"

Out loud, Jack only said, "huh?" He needed to take a moment to compose himself from that unexpected assault on his nerves. He pulled a kitchen chair over and sat down.

"Oh, that's better, Lureen. I just had to sit down a minute. What were you saying? No. You know I can't leave here till we get my dad home and settled. Then we'll see what he needs, and decide what has to be done." He told Lureen the latest that the doctors were saying about his dad's progress, his rehabilitaton, and the current estimate of June 9th to bring him home.

No more'n a week or two and he'll be back here, thought Jack. That mean old man who there ain't no way to please, no way, no how. It was something to be endured; Jack felt resigned to it. You've got a duty to help your father, no matter how much of a son of a bitch he is.

Jack realized that he was off on his own track again, and Lureen was talking on the Texas end of the line. " . . . no idea where he is, nor what he's up to tonight, either. Tomorrow's a school day, and he ain't got too many a those left to redeem himself. Though his teacher did say he has been doing a bit better, turning in his homework, and paying attention more often in class than he was before. Guess his Final Exams will tell if he's bluffing it or really pitching in."

Good grief, thought Jack, did she always talk this much? I don't remember it if she did. 'Course after being with Ennis Del Mar so much over the past two weeks, Jack's eyes lighting up at the memory makes it seem like everyone else talks a blue streak.

For one second, Jack had a flashback of Randall saying 'The woman talks a blue streak" referring to LaShawn after the dance, but he firmly pushed the thought away.

"Uh, sure thing, Lureen. Have you thought about what we oughta do with Bobby, our youngest Mr. Twist?" As his own words penetrated Jack's consciousness, he realized that what he was about to propose would result in there being Three, count'em 3, Mr. Twist's in the very same household. Huh, that might be dangerous, he thought, like adding fuel to a tinderbox.

"Lureen, I think we should get Bobby up here where I'm at. I've thought about it since you and me talked earlier, and I just think it's the best thing, all around. How would you feel about not having him with you this summer? Oh, you would? Well, good. Do you have the school schedule handy so me and, uh, so I can figure out the best way to handle it? Will you be able to get him to the airport? I would drive to Childress to get him, but I just don't think I should be away that long right now."

Lureen checked the school newsletter and reported to Jack that the last day of classes, for everyone except graduating seniors, would be May 26th. "What!" exclaimed Jack, "ain't that this coming Thursday?" I guess time got away from me, thought Jack, I should a realized that it was almost here, summer almost here, end a school almost here. Time to think fast!

"Well, Lureen, I'm leaving this up to you then. You call the airlines and set up a flight for him into Casper, either this Friday night, or next Friday night." Checking the wall calendar that was hanging next to the telephone stand, Jack said, "That's the 27th or June 3rd. Might save a bundle if we put it off one more week, but that's up to you and Bobby. His Junior Class friends might have some End a School parties, or waterskiing at Lake Kemp planned a'ready."

"Make sure he knows he's coming to spend the summer with me, that I want him here, and need his help. It's NOT a punishment, nor a sentence for misbehavin'." demanded Jack. "Better yet, Lureen, talk to him tomorrow, and have him call me here tomorrow night. I'll invite him myself. In the meantime, would you call and get flight information for those two days, the 27th or the 3rd, anything that would get him into Casper around 6 or 7 p,m., if possible. How's that sound?" Lureen did not think to question why Friday was the only day that Jack offered for the flight arrangements.

When did Jack become a take-charge kinda guy, tellin' me what to do? thought Lureen. I like it. "Okay Jack, Mondays are always a bear at the office, but I'll make sure to speak with Bobby before school in the morning, and I'll call the airlines from work as early as I can. Bobby will call you from my office, after school, so it'll be around 3 o'clock your time, awright?"

"Yes." said Jack.

"You sure?" asked Lureen,

"Yes," said Jack, "any time between 4 pm – 5 pm your time, is okay by me. I'll be here, either way."

"Oh Jack, I meant to tell you, I had company Saturday afternoon." offered Lureen. Goddamn, he hated how she always did this; she'd make a statement and then wait for him to guess what was on her mind.

Not wanting to encourage her in this habit, he merely replied, "yeah?"

"Yeah, LaShawn and Randall stopped by on their way to the rodeo; wanted us to go with them. Randall was surprised you weren't back from your fishing trip yet. I told them about your dad's stroke. They wished him well, and said they hoped you would get back here pronto. Randall was saying something about a fishing tournament that he registered the two of you for at Lake Kemp, and he wondered if you'd be back any time soon. When I told him it might be several weeks, he seemed disappointed. He acted like he wanted your phone number up there, so he could talk to you about whether you could still make the tournament."

"Yeah, alright." said Jack licking his lower lip, "You see Randall again, tell'im to cancel anything he has me slated for, you got that Lureen? Cancel everything! And, Lureen, I don't think it's a good idea to give out this number to anyone. Dad'll be home soon, and needin' his rest without interruptions. We don't neeed this phone ringin' off the hook."

Jack had begun to sweat. He was picturing Ennis answering the phone to hear Randall asking to speak to his friend Jack about going fishing. That would be even worse than the last time I asked him to answer the phone and take messages, and Lureen had called. This would be much, much worse. Ennis Del Mar is no fool. Nosirree bob, no fool.

"Jesus H.!" thought Jack, "what have I started here? This shit could blow up in my face when I've finally begun to make some progress with Ennis."

Lureen agreed to tell Randall to cancel all Jack's commitments; and she agreed to keep the Twist's phone number private, as well.

She continued with the news from home. "Mama had supper with us last night, Jack. Said she's joined a new singing group called The Sweet Adelines. She really seems to be enjoying it, there are lots of other women her age, some are widows also. I'm so glad she's starting to get out and about again. For so many years, she did nothing but cater to daddy, whatever he wanted was the way it was going to be. The only singing he'd let her do was in the church choir. This new group is something she's wanted to be a part of for a long time. Mama said they will be performing at the 4th of July celebration in Heritage Park down on the river, and she wants us to come hear her sing, she has a small solo. My, she is excited and proud of herself!"

"Absolutely, you should go Lureen. I doubt Bobby and I will be back by the Fourth, but you never know. You said she had supper with "us", did Bobby stay home to have a sit down meal with you and his gramma?" asked Jack.

"Yes, he surely did. That boy always seems to listen to my mother more than he does to me. You ever notice that? Why do you s'pose that is, Jack?"

"Don't know, never gave it any thought, Lureen." Jack replied. But he couldn't help thinking it was because Gramma Newsome obviously likes Bobby, and she listens to his ideas and dreams. Lureen doesn't always take the time to listen to him. Well, there are things you can control, and things you can't. This came under the "can't" category for Jack.

Jack was anxious to get off the phone, he had Lureen recap what they had tolked about, what she was to do, and when they would re-connect by phone. When he was satisfied that she understood that there was no time to waste, he told her, "Well, thank you for handling all the arrangements, Lureen. I really appreciate you doin' it. Talk to you tomorrow afternoon then."

Maybe now Jack could let the subject of Bobby rest for a few hours. He could go to bed and think back over the weekend that he and Ennis had just spent up here on this lonesome little old Wyoming ranch. Didn't seem so lonesome now, did it? That will be a sweet way to go to sleep, he thought.

Even though Jack Twist has only moments ago felt horrified about possible disastrous revelations where Randall was concerned, he decided to bury that idea deep in the back of his conscious mind, and just think good thoughts about a possible future with Ennis. Jack the romantic, Jack the dreamer.

Claire had allowed Jack some privacy to talk to his wife, and she had plenty to keep herself busy in the bedroom. In a week or so her husband would be coming home, she tried to visualize how to make their room function as efficiently as his hospital room does now. Besides, she didn't need to be around while Jack and Lureen made decisions that would ultimately affect their family, for better or for worse. Better for her to use this time productively and concentrate on things she Could Control, rather than things she Couldn't.

Her new book was calling her name, she was enjoying it so much. Iris had loaned it to her, and you could bank on it, when Iris liked a book, Claire would like it too. They were that much alike. But no, it didn't seem like the time to be reading for entertainment. There was something serious nagging her mind about setting up a sick room for John, and she had to work it out in her own mind, about what would be best.

Jack sure was talking to Lureen a long, long time. Hope everything was going okay. In a way, Claire was very excited to think that she would soon get to meet her only grandchild. On the other hand, she knew how teenagers could be, so full of energy, bouncing off the wall at times, so easily bored. I just hope we can handle it, hope we know what we are getting into having him come up here.

It's bound to affect Jack and Ennis' time together, I fear. If not the actual amount of time they can be together, it surely will affect their easy and natural way when they are around one another. No more holdin' hands at the breakfast table, no more walks with arms around each other, and thinking that, Claire became sad over the injustice of the world that made them part from their soulmate, back in the very beginning.

Well, the fact is, they did part, and they both have children and other people in their lives, so I'll just have to be as supportive as I can be. I'll need to get creative on this one. After thinking for a few minutes , Claire began to smile a bit, you could almost see the light bulb flashing over her head with the caption, Good Idea, beneath the bulb.

She would talk to Walter at her first opportunity. His grandsons Kyle and Eric were about Bobby's age, so perhaps this summer Bobby would be spending a good bit of time getting to know his cousins and perhaps he will even spend a few nights away from here, on sleepovers or campouts. This was one idea worth developing, thought Claire.

Good, but not great, she thought. I have to do better than an occasional sleepover. Besides, they'd all end up over here at times, too.

As suddenly as the wind can shift across the prairie, it all clicked into place for Claire. She would need help with this plan, but Jack would be very happy to assist her if she explained it to him. It's now 10:15 p.m. on Sunday night, she thought, no time to start a project, but she could wait till morning!

Satisfied with her scheme, Claire started preparations for going to bed, Tomorrow is another day.

Jack had plenty on his mind, but he knocked softly on his mother's bedroom door to tell her goodnight. "Come in" she called. When Jack looked in, Claire was turning down the bed. "Everything all set with you and Lureen now? And Bobby's trip?"

"Not quite, mama. We still hafta talk tomorrow, Lureen's going to collect some flight information, and I'm going to ask Bobby which date he wants to come up here. Did you realize this is the last week of school, already?"

"No, Jack. That's been the last thing on my mind! Well, looks like you and me have our work cut out for us tomorrow morning then, before we go to the hospital. We have no time to waste, Bobby'll be here before we know it."

Without divulging her plan, she let Jack know to be ready to work bright and early in the morning. Time to get that ball rolling in the right direction.

Jack showered and got into bed; he was really tired, as it had been a long day full of twists and turns. Jack began his reminiscence of their weekend together as he'd planned. He started with Ennis' blazing smile when Jack and mama arrived home from the hospital and found his Cowboy already here at the house. How glad they were to be seeing each other so soon after their agonizing argument, and each had regretted his part in it. That's as far as he got before falling into a deep restful sleep. As the moon rose higher in the sky, it created a wispy pattern of tree limbs across the bedspread covering Jack's slumbering form. When the wind picked up, the shadows became much more turbulent and threatening.

"_Little darlin' " said Ennis, as he undressed and climbed into bed next to Jack. He snuggled up close just the way he always does, and held Jack in a loving embrace. Soon, he was dropping little kisses along Jack's spine, and trailing his fingers along the downy black feathering on his chest and stomach at the same time. The sensations were so intense Jack was unsure what to concentrate on first; what Ennis was doing behind him with his mouth, or what his fingers were doing in front. Jack had felt his own immediate response, and was audibly grateful for the attention when his Cowboy took charge of his erection. "Oh god, baby," he moaned, as Ennis took Jack in his mouth and began to –_

_Crash ! The door burst open and Randall stomped into Jack's bedroom, yelling and waving a tire iron, "What the fuck do you mean, cancel the fishing tournament! Cancel "everything"! Do you think you can just cancel Me!"_

_For some reason, Jack could not understand, Ennis did not notice Randall, and he just kept teasing Jack with his tongue and teeth, licking and nipping. Just then, Mrs. Elswick, Jack's second grade teacher walked in, and said "Mr. Twist, you are tardy again. Do you have your spelling words done?"_

"No, No! Stop! Run Cowboy!" Jack awoke in terror, screaming in fear for his life and that of his lover. The sweat was pouring off him in sheets, and he was as limp and wrung out as he had ever been in his life. From the looks of the bedding, Jack had been struggling for some minutes before he woke himself. "Goddamn, shit!" muttered Jack. "That's hard."

Jack had to go downstairs to get a drink of water, and he quickly showered the sweat off his body and washed his hair. Drying himself off with the towel he kept trying to get the dream images out of his mind. "Now," he thought, "I finally know a little bit of what Ennis has been going through all these years, in his dreams about me."

Listening at his mother's door and hearing no movements, he decided he must not have disturbed her sleep. He went back upstairs to bed, however, Jack slept no more that night.

As much as he hated to do it, he examined his conscience. As the sun came up over the horizon, Jack decided what he must do. Today without fail, he must find a way to deal with Randall.


	14. Chapter 14

A Better Idea

Chapter Fourteen

Jack had made a decision long about 4:30 a.m. He knew Randall's work schedule fairly well, and he would call him at the ranch during the time he usually was in the office tallying up invoices, and entering the amounts in the ledger. It seemed like the best thing to do. He didn't want to call him at home; first thing you know, LaShawn would be rattling off to Lureen that Jack had called Randall, who knew where that conversation would go?

Besides, whenever Randall wanted to see Jack he would call him during his office hours. He called the dealership, never the house. He'd ask for Jack and if Jack was out, he'd leave a message that Mr. Kemp had called. The first time he'd called and left a message, he'd said Mr. Fisher had called. Jack really had a client named Mr. Fisher and had innocently returned the call, only to hear Randall's voice answer on the first ring. So they settled on Kemp.

About 6 a.m. he smelled coffee brewing and bacon frying. Seemed like mama has a bee in her bonnet and has gotten an early start to her day, he thought. Jack took clean clothes with him, and headed for the bathroom and a second shower in just a few short hours. His mother was fully dressed and bustling around the kitchen when he hit the bottom of the stairs. "Well, good morning, early bird." Jack called out to her on his way into the bathroom. "You need to get in here before I jump in the shower?"

"No, you go ahead. Your breakfast will be waitin' for ya when ya get done."

Shower and breakfast done, Jack couldn't figure where his mother could have got off to, he'd called out for her but got no reply. He heard bumping and scraping sounds coming from upstairs, but when he got up there, she was nowhere to be found. Now where can . . . bump! Jack looked up, the sound was coming from over his head. The attic! What is that woman up to up in the attic at 6:30 in the morning?

"Jackie, can you come help me down with this? I'm in the attic!" Called Claire, using his childhood name for the second time in as many days. Prior to this she hadn't called him Jackie, since he left home to go on the rodeo circuit.

"Coming, Mama!" he called, turning into the large room he and Ennis had shared so recently. Jack looked at the bed, but there was nothing to tell him that it was anyplace special. His heart knew, and that's all that mattered to Jack.

The access to the attic was through a door at the far end of the room, it led up a staircase. At the top was a small area floored with pine boards, the rest was inaccessible as the roofline sloped severely. That sloped area was used for odd shaped items and bags of christmas garland, easter grass, or anything soft and lightweight.

Jack's mother was on the far side, pulling on a twisted mess of slim varnished boards covered in numbers and lines like a ruler. It had strange hardware, and what appeared to be spikes or nails sticking out of it.

"Here, let me get that for you." said Jack, his superior height enabling him to have just the right angle for better leverage. Soon he was pulling it toward them and his mother was guiding it, careful that the nails didn't snag her son or his clothing. When it was free, Jack saw some suitcases and a couple of heavy looking boxes sitting off to the side, that must have been the bumping he'd heard earlier, her attempt to clear a path and get at the thing, whatever the hell it was. "Why didn't you tell me what you wanted and let me climb around in here for you?" Jack scolded.

"Guess I should have!" laughed Claire. " I thought I could get it with no problem, but it's been a good ten years since I've used it, so I might be a little less agile than I was," Hearing nothing but silence, she looked back at Jack, and he had a quizzical look on his face, staring at the contraption. "Don't you remember this curtain stretcher, Jack?"

Yes, he began to have a fuzzy memory of his mother washing up everything in the entire house every spring. The wood and coal fires of the winter heating season left soot on everything in the house, so she always did a bang up job of scrubbing and washing and waxing everything in sight. She often elicited his help when he was a child. Now he remembered pricking his fingers on those nails as he helped her stretch the lace curtains from the parlor and from their bedroom, across this fixture, which allowed them to dry without wrinkles. He didn't remember it looking like this, however.

She began again, "Let's get this downstairs, son, and you can help me put it all together."

In the parlor, as they worked, Jack began to wonder if his mother's agenda for this morning was in direct conflict with his own. He wanted to get her to the hospital as early as possible, so he could go down the hall and call Randall. "What you got on your mind to do with this, mama? If you ain't used it in ten years, why now?"

"That's a long story Jack, and I could be just as happy sitting down with a fresh cup of coffee and telling you all about it, but I sense that you are anxious about something. What's going on?"

"Well, I was thinkin' we should get to the hospital early today. I have some phone calls to make, and Bobby is going to call me this afternoon between 3 and 4 o'clock. I just don't want to rush you back home, and cut short your visit with daddy."

"Oh, I see." said Claire, who really did see. "Well, I was so set on getting started with my project, that I didn't stop to think what you might have on your plate, but tomorrow will be just as good a time to start on it. And I can explain it to you on our drive to the hospital this morning. That will work just as well Jack. Let's leave this, and go get that cup of coffee before we get on the road."

"Are you sure, you don't mind, mama?" enquired Jack.

"Not at all, might even be better this way." replied his mother.

Pouring them each a second cup, and sitting at the table, Claire said, "Jack, you know you are welcome to make phone calls from here. It won't break us, and if they run very high, I'll let you know and you can cover them for me. You don't always have to reverse the charges when you call your family."

"I'm not calling my family this morning, it's more of a business call," said Jack. "Kind of a personal business call.

"Oh, I see." said Claire, who didn't see at all.

Thirty minutes later, they were getting into Jack's truck. Claire had packed John a treat from the breakfast that she and Jack had shared. John was always crazy about Claire's biscuits. From the day they married, he teased her that he would never leave her 'less she quit makin' him biscuits ever' mornin'. It was his favorite thing to take a leftover buttered biscuit, pile on a scrambled egg and a couple slices of bacon. Sometimes for good measure, he would add a slice of cheese on top. I hope this whets his appetite she thought, he's wastin' away in that hospital bed. No wonder, the food they expect him to eat. Anybody'd rather starve, and that's just what he's doin'.

"Penny for your thoughts, mama" said Jack, seeing her in quiet reflection.

"Oh, you know me, I give'em Free, always have." she laughed. "I was just thinkin' about the food in that hospital, and how thin your daddy's gettin'.

"I seen that you packed up his favorite biscuit treat." Said Jack. "It smells so good in your purse, you won't be able to sneak it into the hospital! That oughta perk him right up."

"I sure hope so." replied Claire.

"You wanta tell me about your plan now, mama? Or your project?"

"Well, it's kind of hard to say right out loud, Jack. But I think it's important enough, that I have to. You see, I'm glad Bobby's coming up to stay the summer and all, but I was worried where to put you and Ennis to sleep, so Bobby don't have no unexpected surprises. And with your dad home, we'll have us a houseful and so . . .so that's what I've had on my mind, and now I have a plan and I'm anxious to put it in place." Claire said this all in one breath, and when her recitation was over, she had to take a deep gulping breath.

Jack was a rodeo rider, nothing much threw him, except his mama. He calmly pulled the truck over to the side of the road, pulled into the parking lot of a store that wasn't open yet, put the truck in neutral, pulled on the parking brake, and turned to his mother. "C'mere you." and took her in his arms, hugging tightly. "Did I ever tell you how much I love you?" asked Jack.

When they pulled apart, both had teary eyes.

Jack said "Mama, ever' since I decided to ask Bobby to come up here, I've been worryin' and wonderin' how to handle this very thing. And you say you have a plan? Good woman. What is it?"

Now Claire had center stage, and she was kind of liking the spotlight. Besides, Jack could listen and tell her if there were any holes in her theory.

"Bottom line is we move your dad out of our room and into the parlor. It's larger and closer to the bathroom anyway, which he'll need. I'll stay in there, with him. You will have our room, downstairs, Bobby will have your little room, and Ennis will have the guest room. It has a door, so whether Ennis actually sleeps in there or not, Bobby won't be able to see." She eagerly watched Jack's face to see if her plan passed muster.

His face reflected a man deep in thought, then he slowly began to grin. "That just might do it, mama! If Ennis gets cought downstairs, he can just say he was going to the bathroom."

"Well, it better work, son. My only other thought was to send Bobby over to spend the night with Kyle or Eric every night. I didn't think that would actually fly. I mean, once in awhile it will, but not often." They both laughed at that.

Jack released the parking brake, and started to ease out of the lot. "Let's hope this is a temporary thing, mama. I've never wanted to live a lie with Ennis, and he won't like that either. By the end of this summer, I hope he'll feel more comfortable, he'll see that this thing will work for us. We can live together, be a couple. Then we'll tell Bobby, and whoever else matters."

"You boys are in my prayers, son. I hope it works out the way you want it to."

Jack gave his mother a look, nodded his head in agreement, and then took off toward the hospital again. "By the way, mama, I sure do want to thank you for caring about us, and trying to help us instead of how you could be. Don't ever think I don't know what you do for us. Thank you for Sunday morning, especially."

Before long, they were up in John Twist's room, getting the latest from his nurse, and even a note or two from Jack's dad on his little note pad. John scrawled a note asking Jack if he would read him the baseball news. Checking his watch, Jack nodded yes, and proceeded to open the sports page and look for an update on the Texas Rangers. Finding a full column, he read the entire article. Then checking his watch again, Jack stood up to go down the hall to the pay phones.

"Mama, daddy, I'll be down the hall for a few minutes. Be back soon." Jack said. Before heading to the bank of telephones, Jack went to the cashier to get more change. He didn't want to get stopped in mid-sentence the way he and Ennis had been. Under any other circumstances, Jack would have smiled at that memory, but he was too intent on what needed to be done this day.

He grimly headed back to the phones, pockets full of quarters.

Jack pulled a chair over to the nearest phone and dropped in some coins, he dialed Randall's office number. The ringing sounded so close, it was like he was calling next door instead of more'n 1400 miles away.

"Taylor's. This is Malone speaking."

Jack thought about hanging up, but called himself every kind of coward, and then spoke. "Randall, this is Jack. Uh, how you been?"

"Hey, Jack, s'good to hear your voice. Lureen said you were staying up in Wyoming, said your dad had a stroke. Sorry to hear that, man."

"Thank you, Randall." Jack hesitated, "I can't do this, man. I can't play chitty chat with you. I just called to say I can't do any of this anymore. I wanted to tell you in person, but god knows when I'll be back. What I'm sayin' is, Randall, don't wait for me. It ain't gonna be like that no more. I'm sorry, but I just can't do it no more."

'Jack, don't say that, I thought we were doing real well. Weren't we doing real well, Jack?" Jack had no answer for that line of reasoning.

"Randall, did I ever tell you we had a future? No, I didn't. We were just passing the time o'day, you know that. Right?" Jack rushed on, ""Sides, you never told me I was in your future, either. Neither one a us did. So, don't try to make it more than it was. Okay? Can we call it off, friendly like?"

"Jack, you're just upset 'cause your dad's sick, don't say this now, wait till you get back. Please, Jack."

Oh, holy shit, this is worse than I thought it would be, thought Jack, running his hands through his hair; he was beginning to sweat.

"Randall, are you alone in the office? Do you have a minute to sit down and talk calmly with me? Do you?" asked Jack. When he heard no reply, he asked again, "Randall, is someone there with you?"

"No," he finally heard Randall say. "I just don't want you to say these things, Jack."

"Randall, listen to me, okay? Do you remember me telling you about the guy that I've been in love with for 20 years, but he was too afraid for us to be together, or make a life together? That he had a lot of issues over killings that he'd seen as a youngster, do you remember that, Randall? How he'd seen a man who was murdered and thrown into a drainage ditch because he ranched with another man? Remember that, Randall?

"Yes, Jack, I remember that guy, how could I forget? He's all you ever talk about, goddammit! Willis this, and Willis that, till I'm sick of Willis! I fuckin' hate Willis. Jack."

"We're back together, Randall. Me and Willis are back together now. Now you understand why I had to call you? I had to tell you the truth of how it is. I couldn't let you keep on thinking that I was coming back to Childress and that we'd pick up where we left off before my fishing trip."

Silence. Utter silence on the phone line.

"Randall, are you there, buddy? Will you talk to me? You understand I've been waiting all these years, don't you Randall? We finally have a shot, I think. I don't wanna fuck it up. No matter what, I don't wanna fuck up this one shot I've got. Randall, tell me you understand! Please." Pleaded Jack.

Jack heard Randall take a big deep breath, a shuddering breath, trying to calm himself. "So, your father really didn't have a stroke, it's all a lie, Jack? All a lie to keep you up there in the arms of your lover, Willis? Is that is Jack?" Randall was raging now.

"No, Randall. It's all true. My father had a stroke and is in the hospital; actually, that's where I'm calling you from right now, we're bringing him home next week, or week after. It's just that since I been up here, we've talked it over and it doesn't seem so impossible anymore. Nothing definite, you understand, but maybe not so Impossible as before. I'm sorry if you're surprised or shocked by the timing, Randall, but you've always known what my wildest hopes and dreams were built on. Right?"

Randall took a deep breath, and let it all out in a big deep sigh, "Yes, Jack. I have to say that you were straight up with me from the git go. Wouldn't even go fishin' with me, or take one drink of whiskey with me till I understood fully and completely what you were hoping for in your life. It was this Willis fella. Goddammit, Jack. I hate this. I can't even hate you or blame you cause you been so damn straight with me, but gotta tell you, Jack, this hurts like a sonofabitch!"

"I know it does, Randall, I surely been there. Again I'm sorry for springing this on you like this. I didn't know no other way to get word to you. But I had to tell you how it was. Or how I hope it is, still hafta see."

"Jack, are you telling me that it might not work out, that you might be back?"

"No, Randall, I'm not telling you that. I'm telling you that I have Willis in a position where he's more willing to listen and I'm going for it all! I'm going for the cow and calf operation, for the sweet life. All them things I told you I wanted with that man, that's what I'm going after. Nothing else will do. That's what I'm telling you, Randall."

"Jesus Christ, Jack, but you do know how to tear the heart out of a man." said Randall.

"You been nothin' but good to me, Randall. You been a friend. We've had us some good times. I owe you honesty if nothing else. I didn't want this to drag on without you knowing what was in my mind and in my heart."

"Jack, I know you want my blessing, or my forgiveness, and maybe my friendship, too. But you already got whatever you want from me. Don't need to ask. It's yours. But you don't need none of it. If I know you, that Willis doesn't have a chance. He'll be charmed right out of his drawers, er, never mind that I said that. I surely don't want to be thinking about that."

Randall continued. "Shit Jack, I guess I can be a big enough man to say what needs sayin' here; Good Luck, Friend!"

"Thank you, Randall. I knew you'd be a big enough man and a good enough friend about this." assured Jack. "And while we are talking about hopes and dreams, Randall, why'nt you call that Darren who was with you those three years at A & M? I know your Aggie is as careful about "what other people think" as my Willis is, but he might just be willing to listen to reason after all this time. Don't know till you try, you deserve to be happy too, Randall."

"Oh, maybe so, maybe so, Jack. But it'll take me a day or two to let all this soak in. Uh, does Lureen know? Or am I s'posed to keep quiet about all this till you work things out?"

"You are the first person I've talked to about it, Ran. Keep it all on the QT if you will, till I figure out how it's going to go, or not. Especially since I can't afford a crisis on the home front, I have to be up here with my dad and mom. They got no one else."

Jack and Randle said their goodbyes to each other, and each man had plenty to think about before rejoining polite society. For his part, Jack was so wrung out, he thought they might need to find a hospital bed for him as well as his daddy.

In his office, Randall stretched out on the couch and felt like he'd been run over by a Mack truck. Both ways. Roy Taylor came in, and was all concerned over Randall's pallor, tried to send him home. But Randall would have none of it, and insisted he just needed to get busy, and get his mind offa hisself. Work was the best and only antidote.

That afternoon when they got home, Jack and his mother had a cool lunch of salad and sandwich. Claire went to lay down after, and to read her book. She got one page read before falling fast asleep.

Jack wished he could get some sleep too, as he hadn't had much in the last 24 hours, that's for sure. But Bobby would be calling any time now and he wanted to have his wits about him to talk to his son.

Nevertheless, when the call finally came, Jack realized that he had dozed off in his chair, waiting. Bobby said that Lureen had filled him in about his grandpa and that his dad needed help this summer. He sounded like he was about to dig in his heels and refuse to set foot in some hick town, or worse, some run down ranch out in the sticks of Wyoming.

Jack said, "Hey Bob, it's good to hear from you. How's school going? I bet you're glad it's about over. You guys got some fun parties planned for the end of school? Yeah? Where at?" He got Bobby relaxed and talking and he soon forgot to have a chip on his shoulder.

Reclaiming the lead, Jack said, "Well, son. I want you to have some fun with your friends. You're never gonna be 17 again. Remember that. Enjoy each age, cause when it's gone, it's gone." He waited while Bobby told of the upcoming trips and outings, and then pitched his cause.

"Bob, I need your help, son. I'd like to ask you to come up here and help me out for a few weeks while my dad is laid up. Would you like to do that? Help your grandpa and me this summer? It would mean a lot to me, Bobby and I know it would tickle your Gran and Grandpa a lot. Especially, Gran. She's already asking me what are your favorite foods, meals, and desserts."

"Yeah, they both knew I was planning on asking you to come." assured Jack. "No, you won't be in the way, matter of fact, there's a lot of things you can do to help, and I'm sure we'll find more, once you get here and try your hand at a few things."

One thing then, Bob. Go to your parties that are already planned, and then come on up. I think June 3rd sounds like it will work out fine. Second thing, son, bring blue jeans, shirts, boots, and gloves, and a jacket, but that's it. Didn't mention socks and underwear, bring plenty of them. Well, yes, that's right, bring one church outfit. But that's all the nice clothes you'll need. Well, let me back up a minute son, you got some cousins up here that might like to take you out to get a coke or somethin'. Probably your jeans would cover all those occasions, but a pair a khaki's might come in handy with a good lookin' shirt. Yeah, we got pretty girls up here, too! Don't think we don't!"

"Okay, Bob. I have to talk to your mama, about your flight number and time, and so forth, but we're set for June 3rd, and I'm looking forward to seeing you. I miss you, son."

"I miss you too, daddy. See you soon. Here's mama."

"Jack? That was pretty slick what you just did right there." sneered Lureen. She still could not see how or why Bobby got along with his gramma Newsome or his daddy, but not so well with his mama. It's supposed to be natural, you're supposed to love your mama more'n anybody.

"Lureen, I don't want to hear you say that again, is he still standing there? I didn't pull anything slick, I just talked to him like a human being. Maybe you oughta try it." Jack was flustered and didn't really know how to get through to Lureen about her son.

"I need to get offa here pretty soon, Lureen. What is the information for the flight on June 3rd out of Childress, getting into Casper around 5, 6 or 7 p.m.? Okay, unhuh, Oh, changing planes where? No, I don't like to think of that. Any other option that's non-stop, or no change of planes at all? Okay, give me that number, the one where he has a stop in Denver, but stays on the same plane all the way through to Casper. Uh huh, okay, yep. That should do it. Good job, Lureen. I really appreciate you doing this.

We'll take it from here.

Oh, one thing, will you make this reservation tonight? Or would you rather I did it? Yeah, I have the credit card handy. Okay, give me the phone number. Okay, thanks again, bye! Good night, Lureen,"

Jack got Bobby's flight scheduled, and breathed a huge sigh of relief. My godamighty, what a day!" Jack went to bed.


	15. Chapter 15

A Better Idea

Chapter Fifteen

Ennis had so many plans for this week, he was bubbling over with energy and excitement. Tuesday dawned drizzly and gray; a perfect day to catch up on indoor chores.

At work at the Stodemeir Ranch he checked all the medical supplies and made a list of items to be replenished, checked that all the brushes were clean and discarded those that had uneven wear, went through the ropes and straps checking for tears or breaks, he oiled the hoists and pulleys. Ennis checked with the other two hands, Bruce and Charlie that they were keeping the supplies in the cabinet organized by use, and by expiration dates. He trusted them to keep the stock of balms, salves and pills rotated properly.

Before Ennis came to the ranch, Mr. Stodemeir hired a man who wasn't aware of the shelf life of these very expensive supplies, he just placed the newly delivered items in the front of the shelf. Eventually, the items in the back had to be discarded as they'd lost their potency, and effectiveness.

Ennis took his responsibility to protect his employer from unnecessary waste very seriously. So, to prevent this sort of loss ever happening again, he made the First In, First Out system of storing and rotating supplies, an important part of his training program for any permanent ranch hands.

Growing up poor in Wyoming was not unique to Ennis Del Mar; lots of folks in this part of the country had to struggle to keep food on the table. Ennis had one advantage; his parents had taught him that the surest way to not have anything was to waste what you do have. Ennis heard his mother tell K.E. and him many times, "Take care of what you have, boy, and it'll take care of you." He tried to be as conservative with Mr. Stodemeir's property, as he was with his own.

When Ennis stopped work to have a bit of lunch, he thought about the mental list of things he was preparing for his own week. This is just too important to forget anything, he decided. So he started to jot down a list of things to tell or ask Jack when he called him, things yet to do, things to pack, stuff to eliminate. While he was writing in his small, green notebook, Charlie and Bruce joined him and pulled out their sandwiches and coffee.

"Prolly 27 people in all." Said Bruce, responding to something Charlie had asked him. "29, if you and Leah wanna come too."

"Oh thanks, Bruce, I'll ask her." replied Charlie Warren, referring to his bride of two months.

"Hey, Ennis" they both greeted him, when he looked up from his writing.

Ennis' mind was far, far away on a ranch up in Crook County, Wyoming. He had almost not realized that he was being addressed. To cover his absence and to be polite, he said, "Hmmm? What's goin' on fellas? You doin' awwright?"

"Yeah, we was just talkin' about Bruce n' Delia's pig roast and fireworks for the holiday." offered Charlie. "Gonna have a big crowd, tons of good food, and music too."

"Sound's real nice," said Ennis. "What holiday?"

Bruce looked at Ennis kinda funny. "Well, Monday, o' course, Ennis! Memorial Day! Ain't you got no plans? You oughta come out; you always like the music and the food, well as anybody. And we'll have a keg, too. Come on over, why dontcha? Bring a date, if ya like." Bruce was not shy about spending any amount of words to get his point across.

Ennis couldn't hide the stupefied look on his face. Monday? This coming Monday? His mouth broke into the widest smile Bruce and Charlie had ever seen on Ennis Del Mar's face. Ever. You could even see his teeth; it was such a broad grin.

"You'll come then?" asked Bruce.

"Oh, no, no, I can't. Sorry Bruce, I'd love to though." replied Ennis. "I'm going out of town again, this weekend. I didn't realize that I'd have an extra day to stay and help my friend, till you just mentioned your picnic."

"Is that the place you're plannin' to build that porch, Ennis? That'll be great, you havin' another day to work with." enthused Charlie.

Ennis could barely sit still, he was that excited with this news. "You guys got a minute or two; we could go over and measure out those boards on that ol' buildin' that Mr. Stodemeir said I could have, if I take it down. Want to?"

Happy to be doing something different, all three jumped in Ennis' truck and rode out to survey the usefulness of the boards from this old structure. They were only intendin' to walk it off, and write down the lengths of what they had, but they got into it, and saw a few loose boards, so they just took those off. The roof showed the most weather damage of any other part of the . . . of the . . What was it anyway? Looking inside of what he had assumed to be an old chicken coop, Ennis found he had been wrong.

Someone had lived in this cabin at one time. Maybe the early Stodemeir's? he wondered. There was no ceiling, of course, the roof and beams were exposed all the way up to the peak. There was an ingenious little one legged table, nailed to a cleat on the wall. Their bed was similarly attached, no mattress or ticking of course, but the base of a three legged bed was nailed to cleats in one corner. When he peered underneath to check the clever construction, he discovered an old tin box that had been hidden there for . . no tellin' how many years. Ennis did not feel free to open it, but gently shook the box to make sure it was not empty. It wasn't. Without hesitation, he called to Bruce and Charlie to get in the truck. Time to get back to work.

He handed the box to Bruce to hold onto till they got back up to the barn, and as soon as he could get parked, he went looking for Herman. The gray haired housekeeper, Mrs. Fowler, said Mr. Stodemeir had gone into town to visit his aunt Greta, his oldest living relative. So Ennis explained to Mrs. F. how and where he found the box; then he left it in her hands to keep safe for the owner. Relieved of this newest responsibility, Ennis promptly forgot about its existence.

With lunch break over, and the rainy drizzle long gone, Ennis drove out to the fields where they pastured the calves, to make sure that all was well with the cows and their calves. They were to be turned out with the main herd in another two weeks, and then drove up to the summer ranges. If the little ones weren't thriving by then, they'd be sold off at auction. He finished up his day's work, and eagerly headed home.

This was the evening that Ennis promised himself he'd scrub that old trailer top to bottom, and hang the now clean curtains back up. He started by dusting and then wiping down each of the walls, he washed the windows inside and out, and wished that the glass was clear enough that he could see any difference from his effort. Cloudy glass, damn! Oh, well, with the curtains rehung, it wouldn't be so obvious, he thought.

While his washed and waxed linoleum floor was drying, Ennis rooted around under the house to find his old grill, and something else he remembered seeing under there. He'd had an idea, borrowed from that old house he was taking apart. Yes! There was a nice sized piece of wood, maybe 2 feet by 4 feet that would make do as a new table top for when the girls came over tomorrow night. He busied himself, setting up the grill and finding charcoal and utensils. Ennis decided that the perfect cover for that new table top would be a piece of oilcloth.

A memory of such a thing kept tickling his brain, but he couldn't . . ."Hey good to see you home so early!" called a neighbor lady, Esther. No, no, not Esther, he thought, . . now what, . Edith!

Turning towards her, he said "Hey Edith, fine evenin', ain't it?"

Seeing her opening to talk with her good lookin' neighbor man, Edith got herself over there right quick. As an excuse, she took him a handful of luscious ripe tomatoes from her garden. Ennis was pleased with them, the girls would like them, he knew. He smiled and gave his thanks, while walking away from her toward the other end of his trailer again.

The only things he had left from his mother and dad were folded away in an old trunk, and that trunk was stored under the trailer. Where else? This is the only storage space he has for personal items.

Edith kindly offered to hold the flashlight for him so he could see under there, and before long he located the trunk. He hauled it out from under the trailer, got a rag and wiped it down thoroughly before bringing it into his newly cleaned house.

"Well, thanks again for the tomatoes, gotta get back to work now", said Ennis, trying to gently dismiss her. Edith was always decent to him, a nice gal and a good neighbor, but so much togetherness was making Ennis edgey.

In Ennis' tool box, he had some upholstery tacks that he had removed from an old ottoman, and he figured they would just do the trick.

His stomach reminded him that his first order of priority should be some sort of a supper. Ennis found a large can of Dinty Moore beef stew, and a tube of refrigerator biscuits, so he was assured of having another meal before his groceries ran out entirely. Setting the stew to heating in a pan, and letting the oven preheat for the biscuits, he rummaged for a can of peaches or applesauce, but found none. The cupboard was bare. Oh, there was a handful of very dry raisins left in the box, they became his dessert.

Ennis remembered that he had set the tomatoes on the grill when he and Edith went to look for the trunk, so he went out the door to retrieve them and also remembered to check his mailbox. Nothing much here, junk mail, he grimaced.

He'd assembled a fine supper he thought: beef stew, biscuits, (nothing to put on them, he noted), raisins and a cold beer. Aha, he would just crumble a biscuit into the stew and nothing else will be needed. Who could want anything more than this feast?

While he chewed, Ennis leafed through the junk mail. There was nothing of interest in the stack. But the act of picking up his mail had reminded him of last Thursday when he'd pulled out the mail and found Jack's letter. He smiled thinking how his entire world has changed since that moment less than a week ago. Sometimes it takes almost losing what you love the most to get your attention and wake you up, he thought about himself, and how close he came to doing just that.

He thought about the look on Jack's face when he and his mother returned from the hospital to find Ennis already there near the barn. Jack's face lit up like a christmas tree when he saw me, thought Ennis, unaware that his own face shone equally brightly. At the time, I wondered what his mother would think of us, but I needn't have worried. An Ace of a woman!

Lost in his memories of the weekend, Ennis washed up the supper dishes and put everything away in his lone cupboard. He then hung the clean curtains on each of his windows, put away the towels and sheets, and put the dried blanket on his bed.

Now to check out that trunk, he thought.

When K.E. got married, Ennis and Maggie had been there, of course. None of them ever expected to live together again. So, it was the perfect time to go through their folk's things. They divided them up so each child would have a memento, or two. None of the three cared what they got, especially, just so it was something their father or mother had touched, or had used.

In the trunk, Ennis found his father's old charcoal grey coat. It's a tough material, necessary for a hard working man in a cold climate. Ennis was glad to have it, and intended to wear it himself, seemed to be a good fit. Hmmm. He always thought of his dad as a giant of a man, tall and strong. Guess he was like his old man in some ways. Hope not others, he thought.

Digging deeper, he found a book that had belonged to his mother. It was A Child's Garden of Verses, by Robert Louis Stevenson, and had been inscribed by her own mother's hand. It said, "To our sweet Ellie, happy 6th birthday. Love, Mama and Papa". It was dated March 6, 1920. Ennis rubbed his thumb across the writing and felt the great loss of never knowing these loving grandparents, and the sting of having so little time with his own mother. It made him want to be a better daddy for his girls, before it's too late.

In the very bottom of the trunk, was an Agate, a cobalt blue shooting marble, that had belonged to his father when he was a child. His dad told him and K.E. that he had won many marbles with that Aggie. When holding it up to the light, Ennis imagined that it was the exact shade of blue of Jack's eyes. He put it in his pocket, and decided that it would always, from this moment on, be with him wherever he was.

Ah, here was what he was remembering. It was perhaps an old tablecloth, made of early oilcloth that always made him think of his mother's apple pies. If you closed your eyes and smelled in just the right place, you could smell the apples and the cinnamon. Well that was no longer true, he found. Ennis has been searching for an apple pie as good as his mother's ever since, but none has ever compared to Ellie Del Mar's blue ribbon winning apple pies.

He spread out the oilcloth on the floor, and checked it over for holes or scrapes. Finding none, he got the damp dish cloth and wiped it down thoroughly. He dried it very well, and looked at the pattern and shape of the material. It would be long enough, and about twice as wide as was needed, so he got his best scissors out of the drawer. Flipping the patterned side over to the floor, he placed the new table top on the back side of the oilcloth, and drew a pattern around it, leaving two inches on each side for the foldover.

Quickly, Ennis cut out the piece and laid the excess aside. Once again, the face of the oilcloth went toward the floor, and the wood was placed on the backing. Folding it over like wrapping a present, he started folding under a quarter inch of material along the edge, and pulling it taut, began tacking it all down with the upholstery nails he had saved. Admiring his handiwork, Ennis remembered that there was an old wooden spool, now empty of wire, in the barn. He would use that for the table's base. Originally, he was going to nail it in place like the table at the old house, but he had decided that he needed the space in his trailer to serve more than one purpose, so this table would come apart when it wasn't needed, and could easily be stored away. He had two kitchen chairs, so he or one of the girls would have to sit on the bed. Okay, he felt happy about how the table had turned out, and much better set up for their visit.

Oh wait, he could use this trunk as seating too; he'd add a cushion if it's too short. Now he could move it all away from the bed, and set up the "dining room table" towards the end of the trailer, nearer his one and only closet. At that thought, Ennis took his dad's coat and hung it up in the closet.

He set up his make-shift dining room table with two chairs, and admired the cheerful look of it. The oilcloth has a white background covered with red teapots and blue sugar bowls, with yellow lemon slices. It made him feel warm and cozy, like it was a real home, and he'd made it for his girls.

One more thing before he forgot! Ennis pulled a thin blue ribbon out of the bottom of the trunk, and found a small slip of white tissue paper with glitter sprinkled across it. He ran out to the truck and got the key chain that he'd bought for Jack, and wrapped it like a real present, remembering to take the price tag off first. He admired the gaudy thing, and wondered if Jack would dare to use it.

No question, he thought. If Ennis Del Mar had Dared to buy it, then Jack Fuckin' Twist would surely Dare to use it! This could get mighty interesting.

It made Ennis' stomach jump around a little bit to think of this first public thing he was doing with Jack.

Jack's birthday wasn't until November 21st, so this was a, uh, a Memorial Day present. Yeah, that's what it was. He smiled at his own giddy self. Ennis tried to remember when he'd bought and wrapped a gift for someone all on his own and for no reason, and he decided, "Never before."

Ennis left the rest of the trunk contents for another time. He folded the oilcloth remnant, and placed it back in the trunk, shoving the trunk over beside the "dining room table" for additional seating. His eyes scanned the newly cleaned and shined home, and decided it would do.

Taking the wrapped keychain with him, he locked the door behind him, waved to Edith who was pinching back her tomato vines, and got in the truck. He tucked the gift for Jack back into the glove compartment, and started up the engine. He headed for the grocery store to pick up the items he'd decided on for tomorrow night's supper with Junior and Jenny.

As he passed the feedstore, he decided he'd wait till he got up to Lightning Flat before buying more feed for Scarlet and Grey. Check that off the list.

When Ennis was in the produce department looking over the baking potatoes, he heard someone call his name. Turning, he saw Virginia Fowler one aisle over pushing a full shopping cart. He smiled and waved, then returned his attention to the spuds. Coming closer, she said, "You sure missed all the excitement this afternoon, young man!"

"What excitement was that, Mrs. F? Did you get up and dance on the tables again at the Wolf Ears?" Normally, Mrs. Fowler would have blushed and hit him on the arm, a little bit flirty, and said "Oh, you!" but this time she just blinked and said, "No, Ennis, this is real."

He just looked at her, waiting to see what she had gotten into that was so exciting, but he really wished she'd tell him some other time, because he was busy picking up supper for his daughters' visit. That was more important to him at the moment.

"You know that tin box that you brought to the ranch house this afternoon, Ennis? she asked.

He nodded.

"Well, when Mr. Stodemeir saw it he started yelling, and right away he called the nursing home where he'd just left his aunt Greta, and asked to speak to her immediately. Turns out it contained their original family Bible from Germany, and other priceless heirlooms of sentimental value, some old tin types of her parents, and I'm not sure what else. He went straight back to the nursing home, to show it to her."

"Well, that's really nice to know, Mrs. Fowler. Thank you for telling me."

"Ennis, you are the hero of the hour. Mr. Stodemeir tried to call you on the phone to thank you, while he was with his Aunt Greta."

"Uh, well, ma'm, I don't have a telephone," stammered Ennis. I'm sure I'll see him tomorrow, and he can tell me all about the excitement. Good night, now. See you tomorrow, Mrs. Fowler."

He finished picking up the few items he needed for his special supper tomorrow night, and headed towards home hoping for a good night's sleep.

When Ennis arrived at the house, he put his groceries away, and stepped back outside for a smoke and a look at the moon. It was a couple of days from being Full, but it was large, and bright. He leaned against his truck and smoked his last cigarette of the day, and thought of Jack. He remembered how they loved each other in the hay loft on a recent evening, and lay naked on their blanket watching this very same moon. Well, he grinned, at least I was looking at the moon. My man was looking at me.

"Ah, do you see what you've done to me, Jack Fuckin' Twist? You've turned me into a moon-gazin' love struck fella. An' I can't seem to stop smilin' about it." Ennis took one last look at the moon, and turned and went in to bed.

The next day flew by as Ennis got to the ranch early and concentrated on the work that needed to be done. The weather was clear. He was content with hard work, had always known it, and it comforted him. Before he knew it, it was time to wash up and go get his girls.

Junior and Jenny were surprised that their evening with daddy was not going to be at the Pizza Hut, as usual. He drove them to his house, where he proudly showed off the new table, and they admired his shining clean home. Ennis started the fire while the girls got busy with the food. Junior patted out hamburgers, Ennis wrapped potatoes in foil, and sliced the tomatoes. Jenny set the table, while Junior opened the cans of beans and heated them through. The three of them talked while they worked.

Ennis thought they might have time for a game of dominoes, or Canasta while they waited for the potatoes to bake through, but they were all too busy talking and catching up with each other to think of it.

Jenny talked about how busy it was at the end of school, and that she had a wedding to sing for on Saturday morning. She was going to earn $25 for the job, her first professional fees. The pastor had recommended her, she said.

Junior mentioned how much she liked her job at the power company; she was no longer on probation as all new employees had to be to start out. She'd been accepted on as a regular full time employee with medical, dental and life insurance she said. And with a little sideways grin, she told that she had met a cute guy there the other day when he came in to pay his mother's light bill. His name is Kurt Rawlins, she said. We have a first date set for this Friday night.

"What ever happened a Troy?" asked Ennis.

"Oh, daddy, Troy's such a child." Junior said dismissively. Jenny merely cocked one knowing eyebrow at Ennis. Jenny didn't have a boyfriend yet, but she had her eye on someone. 'Course that someone didn't know it yet.

Ennis told that his friend Jack's dad had a stroke and he was going up to Lightning Flat to help out on the ranch this weekend, see what he could do for them. He gave both girls the phone number up there in case of some emergency. Couldn't think what one might be, but you never know.

He asked Junior if she had a holiday Monday, and she said she did. "Pretty nice to have a day off when you were expecting to work." she said. "I know." Ennis smiled.

They all agreed that tonight would have been a nice evening to eat outside if the wind weren't blowing so hard. "We'll eat outside the next time", said Ennis, feeling like a contented daddy who had future plans with his girls.

Soon they were sitting around the new table, eating their burgers, beans, baked potatoes and slice tomatoes. Nothing had ever tasted finer to Ennis; good food and good conversation with the finest daughters a man could want.

He explained to them that this oilcloth had belonged to his mother, then he got up to get the book, A Child's Garden of Verses, with the inscription by his grandmother's own hand. They were amazed, they had never seen anything of their grandma Ellie's before tonight. Jr. tried to imagine her.

Ennis got in the closet and pulled out his dad's coat and put it on for them. He told them how he thought his dad was a giant of a man, but his coat fit him, now. They all smiled at how a child sees things. They asked him one more time how old he was when they died. They remembered that it was on Dead Horse Road, because the name is so dramatic. Who could forget?

They put away the leftover food, cleaned up the kitchen, and swept the floor, talking all the while, and singing along with the radio Top 40 Hits.

Jenny asked if Jack's family had any horses and Ennis said "Only one, but I'm taking Scarlet and Grey up there this weekend to stay. Easier for me to take care of them up there, since I'll be goin' up most weekends for awhile. Least till we know how long Mr. Twist will be recuperating." he explained.

"I can't leave Theo to do everything for them, 'sides I'd miss them if I didn't get to brush 'em and exercise 'em myself. Always have cared for them myself, and I still want to do it."

It was a good drive taking the girls back home; Ennis pointed out how full and bright the moon was. They sang "Harvest Moon", then tried singing "Blue Moon", but none of them could remember all the words. It made them giggle and the singing got worse.

When they got to Alma's, Ennis got out with them, and walked them to their door. He took each of them in a big ol' bear hug and kissed them fondly, saying "I love you, little darlin' ", and they each echoed, "I love you, daddy".

When Jr. and Jenny got the front door open, they turned back and repeated what they had always said as little ones. "Daddy, I love you thiiiiis much!" stretching their arms as wide as possible to show how much.

"I'll see you in two weeks, if not sooner, good night girls. Remember you can come by anytime, you don't have to wait for our dinner date."

When he drove away, Ennis felt like the king of the mountain; he had the best time tonight, since he and Alma split. This means that it's been my fault that I was lonely and mssing them, 'cause I didn't put much into it. I didn't push for more time, more of their attention. I didn't know it was okay for me to make my own home for them to come to. I felt so guilty for wanting out of the marriage, that I just gave up, like I didn't have a right to be happy.

Ennis was sad at how much he hadn't known, but was happy that he now was willing to listen and learn. The girls enjoyed being here too, I know they did.

He stopped in at Smith's and got $10 worth of quarters. Ennis went to the phone booth across from the post office, and dialed Jack's number.

"Twist Residence" Jack's voice came over the line so clear, just like he was standing in the phone booth with Ennis. For the life of him, Ennis couldn't speak, he was suddenly choked with emotion, his heart was so full he could do nothing but squeak.

"jack?' he said.

"Yes, Cowboy, it's me. What's wrong?"

"Jack, I just love you so much." said Ennis, at last.

"Ennis, goddamit, what's wrong?" demanded Jack.

"Jack, Jack, nothing's wrong. Sorry, I am just so happy, if I'd known I could feel this way, I think I'd have run off with you 20 years ago."

On his end of the line, Jack was getting the picture, finally. His legs felt all rubbery and so he again, grabbed a kitchen chair as he needed to sit down.

"Uh huh?" said Jack.

"Jack, I carry you around with me everywhere I go, and it makes my whole life better. Do you realize that I never felt that I had anything to look forward to, until now? We had our fishing trips, but those were not never enough time, and I just had to wait for that post card each time. Jack, you still there?"

"I'm here, Cowboy, and I'm waiting for you to come back to me." replied Jack. He added quietly, "I can't wait to see you, baby."

"Okay, before that Operator starts bonging on us, I got a few things to ask you. Am I picking up Bobby on Friday night? And before I forget, you got any concrete mix for the porch footers, or should I bring some?"

Jack said, "No, Ennis, Bobby is not coming till next week, you can pick him up then. And I do have a couple bags of Quickrete, but that won't be nearly enough, maybe bring a couple more bags, okay?. What about your horses?"

Ennis responded about his plans for Scarlet and Grey, and he told Jack about the structure that Mr. Stodemeir said he could have. "I'm only going to try to bring the longest boards for the foundation this time, my first priority is for the horses and their gear. Don't know how many board feet I can carry this trip."

Ennis described the old house, and the strange table and bed, then told him about the tin box. Nice adventure story.

"Had my girls over to my house tonight, cooked for them and all. We never had such a good time, Jack. I owe it all to you. Everything in my life is different now, because I love you; that changes everything I see, feel and think."

"Christ, Ennis, are you saying you didn't love me before – for all these years?" Jack had a little twinkle in his voice, but halfway sounded serious, too.

Ennis was laughing now, "No dummy. But I always had to keep it tamped way down inside me, it was so long in between times when I could possibly see you, that I had to work hard at keeping you out of my daily life, out of my daily thoughts. Now you are running wild in my head all the time!"

Jack smiled. "That's good, Ennis. It's what I always wanted to do, run wild in your head. You get your sweet ass up here as fast as you can, you hear me?"

Ennis thought of something important, "Just so you know, I gave my girls your phone number up there in case of emergency. I told them about your dad, and that I would be up there every weekend until we know what's going to happen with him. Told'em I was bring'en Scarlet and Grey up there too."

"You told your daughter's you were coming up here to stay with me?" asked Jack incredulously.

"Yes, I surely did."

"What'd they say?"

They said, "Oh we hope his dad gets better soon." And Jenny asked if you had any horses up there.

"That's it? Wow. Will wonders never cease?" Jack was blown away. Kids are so amazing, they'll accept whatever you say sometimes, and other times they won't believe you if you tell them that roses have thorns."

"I can't wait to see you, Jack, but I think I'm going to get off here as soon as they start all that mess with the bonging. Will there be any reason for me to call you again before I come up? Maybe tomorrow night?"

"Yes, call me tomorrow night, Cowboy. I cannot hardly stand it when I don't see you or hear your voice." stated Jack.

"Okay, darlin'. Soon as I get the horses and gear loaded up, I'll swing by here and call you. I can't wait to see you. Your mama holding up okay?"

"Yes, she's fine, Ennis. Oh wait'll I tell you what she has planned for us!"

Loud mechanical noise interrupts their conversation, Bong, Bong, "please deposit $5.85 for the next three minutes" Bong, Bong.

"Tell me tomorrow night, Jack. Go out and look at the Moon right now and

I will too. Good Night, darlin' ." smiled Ennis into the phone.

As he was hanging up, Ennis heard Jack say, " G'night, baby."

Ennis checked three more things off his list that he had completed earlier in the evening. He went to sleep and dreamed of a blue eyed man holding him and asking if he wanted to play a game of Marbles. "I play for Keeps." said the man.


	16. Chapter 16

A Better Idea

Chapter Sixteen

After a long, full week of preparing for this moment, Ennis was finally pulling into the Twists' gravel drive. He was exhausted, but so very glad to be here. He would get a second or third wind, as soon as he saw Jack, he was sure.

No sooner was that thought formed in his mind, than Jack came out the front door, and with long, purposeful strides approached Ennis' truck.

"Stop!" he said, putting up his hand, traffic cop style. Ennis stopped the truck, put it in neutral and pulled the hand brake hard.

"Get out here!" demanded Jack.

Ennis did as he was instructed to do. Jack took him in his arms and gave him a magnificent kiss, holding his head, rocking him and planting a couple of extra little kisses on his chin, nose and eyebrow.

"Okay then. Now, you can pull up there in the barn yard, and I'll help you unload Scarlet and Grey. How'd they take this long trip? Goddamn, you're a sight for sore eyes, or am I repeating myself?"

Claire came out the front door and walked over to where Ennis and Jack were backing the horses out of the trailer. She gave him a welcoming smile and a big hug. "Good to see you, my boy."

Ennis squeezed her hard, and said "I'm so happy to be here, ma'm." Ennis knew her well enough by now, that he knew she had stayed in the house long enough to let him and Jack say hello privately, before she came outside.

"Well, I'll leave you two boys to it, come inside when you're ready." with that said, Claire went on back to the house.

It was quite late; Ennis and Jack lay in bed holding each other and resting.

Before coming to bed, they had showered and shaved, wanting to be ready for whatever their man needed, or for whatever they had energy for. Here they were, back in the big guest room, which they had come to consider as "their" room; Jack had made up the bed with fresh sheets and pillow cases this morning in eager anticipation of seeing Ennis' once again in this bed.

They were talking about their week, some of the things they hadn't had time to say by telephone. Both had worked very hard to prepare for this weekend together, now they could heave a huge sigh of relief. Everything they had worked toward all week was accomplished. While they murmured drowsily, Ennis stroked Jack's face and kissed his shoulder. Jack rubbed his foot lazily against Ennis' calf, and ran his hand down his arm, linking fingers. It was not what they expected, but what they needed. They slept.

Around four a.m. Ennis turned over in bed and felt someone next to him. Immediately alert, he smiled, remembering where he was. This was his chance to admire Jack, asleep and peaceful. They were lying on their sides facing each other in the bed. _Such soft, beautiful, kissable lips always ready for a smile or for my own mouth. Jack's nose, he thought. How much more perfect could a nose be? And look at that ear. Did ya ever see a better lookin' ear in your life? Ennis pulled the covers down to view Jack's shoulder and chest. Oh, now I know that there has never been a better lookin' man on the face of this earth, than my Jack. Pulling the blankets down even more, he sighted along Jack's torso, stomach, hip, the long bones to the knee, and then his calf, ankle and foot. Jack even has good lookin' feet._

Ennis asked himself the age old question; Do I love Jack because he is beautiful, or is Jack beautiful because I love him? Both? Neither?

Though Ennis had been careful not to disturb his lover, and Jack never gave any sign that he was awake, there was a certain indicator which pointed to the fact that he might be!

Ennis chuckled silently to himself, thinking "oh, something else wants to stand up and be admired." Sliding himself lower in the bed, Ennis leaned into the warmth of Jack's body and said, "C'mere." That was the last thought he had; his conscious mind shut down, and his bodily senses took over, Ennis wrapped his arms around Jack's thighs, firmly grasped his ass and pulled him in closer, closer.

Jack gasped, "Oh, Ennis, god . . " both his hands clutching at Ennis' hair.

As these were the first words Jack had uttered this morning, they broke through Ennis' lustful fog. He peered up to see Jack looking at him, and he said, "mornin' darlin', can't talk right now, I'm kinda busy here."

Ennis went back to pleasing his man; he wouldn't be satisfied until Jack was.

These two who had worked so hard to be able to spend this time together now gave equal energy to rewarding themselves for their efforts. The bed, for its part, miraculously held together under their assault.

When they had somewhat regained their ability to breathe, but chests still heaving mightily, Ennis leaned over the side of the bed, seeming to search the floor around and under the bed. "What're you looking for, Cowboy?"

asked Jack.

Ennis smirked, " I think you fucked my brains out. Just seeing if I can find'em."

"You deserved it for waking me up like that." said Jack, "ain't complainin' , you understand."

"Me neither." smiled Ennis.

Cuddling now, forehead to forehead, and with the covers pulled back up, they dozed and talked and reveled in at last having bodily contact with the exact person they wanted most in all the world.

Ennis' eyes flew open, and he jumped out of bed, grabbing his pants and shirt. "Oh, sorry, be right back! I promise. I'll be right back, Jack!"

Barely dressed, Ennis crept quietly down the stairs, not wanting to wake Jack's Mom. He stepped out into the cool gray of the pre-dawn, and dashed barefooted to his truck. Digging into the glove box, he palmed the small package and tucked it in his shirt pocket.

Returning to the room, Ennis stepped out of his jeans and took off the shirt before getting back into bed and spooning up along Jack's backside. "Didja miss me, Twist?" he asked, while running his hand down Jack's shoulder, then arm, hip, and as far as he could reach without actually moving.

"Miss ya? Why? Didja go somewhere, Del Mar?" Jack said in his most annoying, aloof voice. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he grinned, but kept his back to Ennis so he wouldn't see.

"Jack, I hafta tell ya somethin', would you turn around here, please?"

So, Jack, acting like he didn't really want to, looked back over his shoulder at Ennis, and said "What?" and he kept a straight face doing it.

"Jack, I done somethin' I've never done before. Somethin' you're not gonna believe."

Jack had several teasing retorts in mind, but he became concerned that he was pushing it too far. Perhaps there really was something Ennis needed to tell him. "What is it, Ennis? You know you can tell me anything, Cowboy."

By this time, Jack had fully turned around to face Ennis, with concern in his expression.

"Well, what I done is . . ." Ennis reached over to his shirt lying on the chair and pulled out the package. "This. This is what I done. It's for you, Jack."

Stunned would be an understatement; Jack was bowled over. "You bought me a present?"

Ennis was blushing, "It's nothing; a tiny little thing, Jack. Open it, for godsake! Open it." Having waited the week, he was now anxious to show it.

So Jack, trembling all over, pulled off the blue ribbon, then the glitter paper and revealed the red heart. Not getting it at all, he then turned the object over and saw "Jack" written across it, and saw that it was a key chain.

"Oh, Ennis, you shouldn't have!" Again, Jack was going to tease Ennis about this but he saw that Ennis was in earnest about giving him a gift, he had done it out of love. "I really like this, Cowboy, where'd you get it?"

"I was in Higgin's Gift Shop in Riverton ordering a post card of Brokeback Mountain. Guess I'm getting sentimental in my old age, huh? Then I noticed the rack of key chains, and when I saw that one, I knew I wanted you to always carry something with you that I'd given you. And this is it. D'ya really like it?"

"I do, Ennis. I really do. Can't remember a gift I've liked this much." And at that, he kissed Ennis Del Mar with a seriousness required by the situation. Jack reached over to the chair where his pants were hanging and pulled the keys from his pocket. Releasing the keys from his old key chain, he dropped them onto the bed covers. Ennis placed his hand over the keys to stop Jack's action.

"Wait Jack. You know as well as I do, that when you use this bright little thing, someone is gonna ask you about it, about where you got it from. I won't blame you if you just carry it in your pocket, but keep using your old one."

"No, Ennis, we're beyond that now. When someone asks me where I got this, I'm gonna tell'em."

'What, Jack? What are you gonna tell'em? How do we put into words what we have together? I'm sorry for starting this trouble, I shouldn't a bought this for you. It's too much, it's too soon."

"Ennis, listen to yourself. Didn't you tell Junior and Jenny that you were coming up here with me, and didn't you give them the phone number?"

"Yes, Jack, but I just said it like we was friends, and I wanted to help you out. I didn't say "Jack is my man, my lover and I'm going to shack up with him", you know? Kids don't need all that explanantion."

"Right, Ennis, and neither does anyone else. When folks ask me about this key chain, I'll say "My friend Ennis Del Mar gave me this, ain't it a beaut?"

"Really, Jack? That's what you'll say?" Ennis smiled like a young boy.

"Told you twenty years ago, Ennis; It's nobody's business but ours."

"Right, Jack. Nobody's." said Ennis. "But just between you and me, I bought it because I want you to know every time you look at it, that wherever you go, you carry my heart with you. And my heart is stamped with J A C K right across it. It has never, and will never belong to anybody but you."

"Whew, you're killing me here, Cowboy." So, leaving the keys strewn across the bed, and the key chain lying unnoticed, Jack got up off the bed and came around to Ennis' side and pulled him to a standing position. He wrapped both arms around him and held him so tight, neither one could hardly breathe.

Releasing his grip on Ennis, Jack took his hands and put them on either side of Ennis' face. He kissed him deeply, soulfully, once and looking into those dark brown eyes he said, "All these years, baby, all these years, I've waited for you to want me, to love me back or to admit it, cause I always knew you did. And now you're making me the happiest man on this green earth. I want you to know that, Ennis. You mean everything to me. You've been my whole world for twenty years, and that's never going to change."

In honor of this momentous occasion, they looked at each other as if to lock in this memory for all time. "This is my Man, and he belongs to me." they seemed to say.

Jack looked sad for a moment thinking, 'when most people get this carried away with each other, this much in love, their next step is to get married.'

Turning to Ennis, he said. "Would you marry me, Ennis?"

Any other time, Ennis would have shot back a joke about tossing the bridal bouquet, or who carries who over the threshold, but he could tell Jack was in earnest with his question, and that it was causing him a measure of pain.

He looked Jack in the eye and responded solemnly, "I would, Jack. Yes."

They nodded, and filed that under the "No fuckin' way, that's ever gonna happen" Category. It had to be enough that they felt committed to each other, because there'd never be a time when one man could marry another.

They began to thread Jack's keys onto the new key chain, and when it was complete, Jack swung it around with a flourish for Ennis to see how proud he was of it. A memory flashed in front of Ennis' eyes. Something about the way Jack was showing off the key ring, reminded him of how Jack had flicked his bull ridin' prize belt buckle, to show it off to Ennis, sitting by the campfire. That was a lifetime ago, when they were just becoming friends. That was the time Ennis had said, "Don't rodeo much myself." He talked to Jack that day and told him about his life, his sister and brother, the $24 in the coffee can, having to quit high school. Told him all of it. And when he was through, he told him that was more words than he'd said in a year.

Ennis always considered it a good memory, one for the scrapbook, since Jack had jumped up, over Ennis' saying that his dad said all rodeo cowboys was fuck-ups, and jumped around, showing off till he fell over in a heap, and they laughed and laughed. Everything was fun with Jack, more fun than Ennis had ever had before or ever would have with anyone else.

The sad thing today, twenty years later, was why didn't he hear himself that day when he told Jack "Hell, that's more words than I spoke in a year." Why didn't it make him stop and ask himself about what that said about his year of getting to know Alma and getting engaged to her. Didn't he wonder why he had not poured out all his life's words to her? Why was he not more questioning about what he expected from life? Why had he settled?

Oh well, it got him his two girls, and he wouldn't take a million dollars for them, so he gave up looking back. Gotta take the bad with the good, and go forward. That's the only place to go, forward.

Speaking of Forward, I smell coffee, he thought. "Hey, sweetheart, let's go get some breakfast, what d'ya say?"

Jack looked up, surprised at what Ennis had just called him, and nodded. "Soon's we get this bed made, and ourselves presentable, I think that's the next thing on our list!"

Claire had heard them stirring around upstairs for a long time this morning,

Sometimes she thought she'd like to be a fly on the wall to hear what they talked about. For two men who "didn't talk" she couldn't get over how they never seemed to run out of things to tell each other, or ask each other.

She called upstairs, "You ready for me to put breakfast on the table? Five Minutes!" Just then they came to the top of the stairs and headed down.

"Perfect timing!" she said, as she hugged them both good morning.

When they had eaten and were enjoying a second cup of coffee, Jack pulled the new key chain out of his pocket, and laid it on the table in front of Claire. He gave her a minute to realize what she was looking at. "See what Ennis brought me?" he crowed.

"My, oh my." She said, beaming at each of them in turn. They sure do seem to be proud of themselves this morning, she thought. "What a nice gift."

"I thought we'd go to the hospital bright and early this morning, son. That way you can be back here by noon to help Ennis with the chores. Will that be all right with you?"

Just as Claire had finished speaking, there was one knock on the door, and it was pushed open. Walter barely hesitated, as he walked in greeting everyone and reached for the coffeepot. Clearly, he was a regular and welcome visitor in his sister's home. "I knew I could bum a good cup of coffee off a you before I head on up to the hospital to see John; got any milk for this? Oh shoot, Iris sent you a coffee cake, and here I am so forgetful, I left it in the truck." He looked around helplessly, hoping to get one of the younger men to offer to go get it.

Jack bit. "I'll go get it Uncle Walter, you just sit and enjoy your coffee."

"Thank you, my boy. I sure do appreciate that. These old bones don't like to jump up after just getting set down."

Claire was saying, "If you're going to the hospital Walter, might I get a ride with you, and relieve Jack today?"

"Sure can, that's one of the reasons I stopped in. The other was to talk to Del Mar, here. Sis, have you told him about the Cattlemen's Association Picnic, yet?"

Seeing her blank look, he said, "I'll take that as a No." He turned to Ennis,

"Mr. Del Mar, I'd . . "

"Ennis. Please call me Ennis."

"Okay, Ennis, be glad to, if you'll call me Walter. So, Ennis I came by to tell you that we are having a Cattlemen's Association Picnic on Memorial Day, well Sunday, really. And I'd love for you and Jack to come, and meet some of the other men. There'll be a parade in town, for what that's worth, and then we all congregate over at the fairgrounds for a lunch of barbeque, beans, potato salad and roastin' ears, maybe blackberry cobbler, and then fireworks as soon as it gets dark."

Jack had re-joined them, set the coffee cake on the table, and had heard all the pertinent details. "What's so important about this picnic, that it would bring you over here to invite us, Walter? asked Jack.

Walter addressed his answer to the newcomer. "Well, it was obvious to me the first time we talked, Ennis, that you have a lot to offer our group, and I was hoping we could charm you into joining us, and dragging Jack here, along. You are a man with ranching experience and you have a good head on your shoulders; we're a mite short on that in some cases. Jack has all this knowledge of what, if any, farm machinery will help us improve our yields, and our processes. Our young Jack also knows how to structure a deal if we need to co-op a piece of machinery to be able to afford it." added Walter.

"I see the two of you as a source of new blood for our organization, if you'd join us. If you won't, maybe you would consent to come and speak to the group a couple of times. Both of you, on different subjects, of course."

Ennis was beginning to wonder if Walter ever breathed. Or if he just talked non-stop and never needed to take a breath. It is nice to be regarded as a potential asset, though. It sure is a welcome change.

Jack already knew that Walter could talk the bark off a tree, so he wasn't too surprised at that. It was what he was saying that was so surprising.

Ennis took a stab at stemming the tide of Walter's words. "Well, it'd be up to Mrs. Twist, here, if we decided to go to the parade and picnic, but you realize that neither Jack nor I actually live here, don't you? I mean, I'm in Riverton, and Jack, well, you know where Jack lives, down in Childress."

Walter ducked his head a bit, and said, "Well, yes sir, I know you don't live here now, but Claire told me how it is with you two, and I was hoping you'd become a permanent fixture up here." As he said this, Walter's eyes fell on the red heart with J A C K across it, and he picked it up.

Jack stared thunderstruck at his mother, Ennis gaped open-mouthed at Walter, Claire turned sheepish eyes on all three of them. And no one said a word for one heartbeat, two heartbeats, three.

It was Walter, of course, who eventually broke the silence, "What? Have I spoken out of turn? This was 20 years ago. She said how devastated Jack was, how worried she was about him. I'm sure the name was Ennis Del Mar, that she said at the time. And well, to tell you the truth, I have eyes. I've seen how Jack perked up as soon as you came up here, Ennis. I see how you two look at each other. I'm sorry if I've upset anybody."

Ennis thought, "My god, is there no way to shut this man up?" but something bubbled out of the depths of his gut, something long repressed, and it sounded suspiciously like a laugh! Ennis doubled over laughing, and gasping for breath, tears were running down his face.

Jack was laughing now too, how could he help it with Ennis demonstrating an actual belly laugh? Didn't know he was capable of laughing like that, thought Jack. Maybe he's in shock.

Claire merely dropped her face into her hands, covering it in her shame for what she had done all those long years ago; letting this information slip out because she was so concerned, and because she had no one else in whom she could confide. A brother could be trusted to keep your confidence, couldn't he? But for how long? Was there a statute of limitations on this kind of information?

Okay, okay, gotta catch my breath, thought Ennis, wiping away tears. Whew!

"Mama," asked Jack, "how many other people have you told this to?"

"No one. Jack, I swear. No one else." promised Claire.

"Mama, I don't want to scare you, but this could get us killed, this gets out to the wrong type people. Do you realize that?"

At this, Walter spoke up, "Jack, don't go on like that to your mother. She hasn't told anyone but me, and I have not mentioned it to anyone else. No one else. Although, I think you'd be surprised at how many friends you'd have up here who would not care, wouldn't figure it's any of their business. You know?"

Jack was beside himself; he walked over and took Ennis in his arms, "You alright, darlin'?" The thought of anything happening to his man because of a slip of the tongue was very sobering to him. Gone was any bluster about going public, or getting married.

Ennis kissed Jack on the mouth, cupped his face and put his forehead against Jack's. He smiled at him to reassure him, and said, "I'm okay, Jack, don't worry."

Ennis went over to Claire, drew her up to stand in front of him, and held her. "Shh, You didn't know. Don't cry. It's alright. It was a long time ago. Shh."

Claire wrapped her arms around Ennis and sobbed, she clung to him for a full two minutes, during which time, Jack came over and enfolded both of them in his long arms and just held them. Claire started quieting down, and wiping her eyes, then she started hiccupping, which made her laugh. Jack stepped back, his eyes were wet, Ennis' eyes were wet, and Claire was a mess.

Walter was dry eyed, but awestruck at the display of love he witnessed in this room. If asked, Walter would have denied he was jealous, but there is something very powerful happening here, something rare, he knew that much.

"What's the chance of a fella getting' a fresh cup of coffee around here?" he asked.

Jack and his mother, both relieved to have something to distract them, turned toward the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee, but Ennis took Jack's arm, and shaking his head, said "uh, let's not push our luck. Let your mama make the coffee, okay? You can cut this coffee cake, though."

Ennis looked at the clock and saw that it was only 8:15 a,m, I don't believe I will be able to survive up here if every Saturday morning is going to be as emotionally draining as these last two have been.

While Walter continued to make his pitch regarding the Cattlemen's Association needing new blood, Ennis went over to Claire and began to knead her shoulders. "Relax," he said. "Let it go." When she had slumped and was completely loose, Ennis stopped. He told her "That's better. Just keep taking deep breaths."

Claire went to wash the dishes, and Ennis said "No, you don't. You go on and I'll take care of those later, or I'll make Jack do them."

She thanked him and went in to the bathroom to get freshened up for her trip into town to see her husband at the hospital.

Walter stood up, shook hands with Jack and Ennis both, saying, "I hope there's no hard feelings. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut."

"Yes, you do." said Jack. "I wasn't kidding about that information could get us killed. Ennis saw a man who was murdered for nothing more than ranching with another man. He was only 9 years old. He still hasn't gotten over it."

"Well, I am truly sorry that happened to you, young Ennis. You can count on me to keep my private thoughts private after this." claimed Walter.

Ennis turned Walter towards the door and walked outside with him. "I'll talk to Mrs. Twist later today, and see if she wants to go to your picnic. I'll let you know, I really do appreciate your invitation and all the nice things you said." He hesitated a second, and then resumed, "It's all that obvious how we feel about each other, is it?"

"Yeah, Ennis, it is."

"Well, that's good, and not good. Jack and I will talk about that. But I'll tell you something, Walter. I came this close, Ennis put his thumb and forefinger half an inch apart, this close, to losing that man forever, because I was always holding back on loving him or living with him. I'm not about to return to those days, I'm really enjoying letting him know about my feelings for him, letting them show. I've never been one to do that, never been one to talk about what he means to me. Now I can, and I'm so happy over it, I can't stop smiling. Jack, he likes it too."

"I know, Ennis, I can tell he does! He's real proud of you." agreed Walter.

Claire and Jack came outside, he had his arm around her shoulder. Jack kissed his mama goodbye as he opened Walter's passenger door for her.

Once again, Walter shook hands with Jack and Ennis, and said "I'll take good care of her."

"I know you will," said Jack. "You always have, when I didn't even live up here."

Ennis clapped Walter on the shoulder, and said, "You go now, it'll be alright."

As Walter and Claire drove away, Ennis said, "My god, Jack, is it always like this up here? How do you survive it? I'm completely wrung out!"

Jack started giggling remembering the whole fiasco, at the breakfast table, "No! I prominse you, it's never been like this. It's you. You've changed everybody, Ennis Del Mar. I know one thing for sure, you've changed me, Cowboy."

"Okay", said Ennis. "It's me. That's enough, now. Let's get to work. What's first? Dig the footer for the porch, go take care of Scarlet and Grey, or join the Cattlemen's and run for County Commissioner?"

"I think let's clean up the breakfast table, and kitchen, then get the horses and ride out to check on the herd. Sound good?" suggested Jack.

"Perfect answer again, my man, let's get after it!"

Decision made, Ennis and Jack went inside and began to clean up the kitchen, and start their weekend chores. Jack looked over at Ennis and wondered what he was thinking, what was he smilin' to himself about?

Ennis thought, I have another gift for Jack and myself. He still doesn't know that I have an extra day to stay up here, and that I don't need to leave till Monday. Long weekend, short week. Sounds good to me, he smiled.

In a very short time, they were riding the horses across the barn yard out toward the Back 40. They were looking for problems needing to be solved, or to just have another good day out under the Wyoming sky, sharing the day in the open on horseback. They were back in their element, together.

End of Chapter Sixteen


	17. Chapter 17

A Better Idea

Chapter Seventeen

Riding out to the herd, Jack told Ennis the history of the ranch. "This land has been in my mother's family for three generations or more. The house where I was raised was the original family homestead." he said.

Jack's tale revealed that his mother and her two brothers, Harold and Walter Bell had been given parcels of land when they were old enough to set up housekeeping for themselves. They each married, had children, and stayed close. They each work their own herds and land, and help one another throughout the year. None of the three sections are the same shape, but they are all equal in acreage.

"Where'd your grandparents go, Jack, when they gave all the land to their kids?"

"Oh, let me show you, Cowboy. My grandpa Bell, Will was his name, got too old, or lost interest in workin' so hard by that time, so he and my grandma 'Dessie, built'em a little house out back here on 10 acres or so. They retired and lived out their days on this land, tended their own garden till they was both up in their nineties, too."

"Jack, whatever happened to your uncle Harold? Did the pneumonia finally get him?" Ennis asked, remembering when old Aguirre had ridden out to Brokeback in '63 to say his uncle was in the hospital and not expected to live. He had survived that time, Ennis knew. But he didn't never know the rest.

"No, Love got him, and at the age of 48, too. Harold had married Lilah Jean when they was kids, lived together all them years, raised a family. Then she died of cancer the year Harold turned 45. He moped around, and his health failed him badly. The summer that me and you met up there on Brokeback, he took sick and was in the old hospital that used to be here, Crook County Medical, where I was born. Anyway, he was in there for almost two weeks. During that time, his nurse was a pretty little widow lady, name of Margaret, and they hit it off right away, been married ever since."

"Well, why don't anyone ever talk about him? I been up here quite a bit now and he hasn't been mentioned, I thought sure he'd died."

"Nope," said Jack, "They retired about 3 years ago, and they started goin' to Las Vegas. Spend a month down there, 'bout twice a year. They've got an RV they travel in, they visit friends, visit their kids. Well, him and Margaret never had kids, o' course, but Margaret had two grown daughters from her first marriage, Cheryl and Stephanie, both with families of their own; still in Albuquerque, where they was raised. Then there's Harold's kids; Christy and Steve both moved down towards Denver, for the jobs, you know. Both are married, Christy and her husband have two kids in high school now, Jacob and Maggie. Yeah, same as your older sister's name. Steve and Kelly do not have kids. But they have horses and dogs aplenty. They seem real happy. They get up here for Thanksgiving every year, and one other time, usually in the spring."

Ennis Del Mar, who had never had two relatives to rub together, was getting the full treatment here, finding out about just a portion of Jack's family. It was overwhelming, and something else. It felt nice to think that Jack had all these people he belonged to. Ennis was glad for him.

He looked at Jack as if he were someone he'd never met before; all these new sides of himself that he was now revealing, made Ennis see that Jack had grown up with a lot of good people in his life. No wonder he talked a lot. No wonder he was outgoing, open to seeing folks as friendly first, until they proved otherwise. Expected folks to like him, until they proved otherwise, too. Just the opposite of Ennis, who didn't expect anyone to like him, or value him and was pleased and surprised every time someone did.

Something Jack said brought out envious feelings in Ennis, though, truth be told. How does that seem fair, he thought? Harold and Margaret had met the same summer as him and Jack, and they had a right to marry, live a life together, have family, travel, see and do things as a couple without invoking ugly comments, disgust or threat of violence from outsiders. It's a damn double standard, he thought, where's the justice in that? It ain't right!

Ennis didn't realize it, but he was changing. Always before he had accepted that he and Jack were in the wrong somehow. Two men who accidentally fall in love with each other while working alone one summer on a mountain. What were they thinkin'? He knew somehow they should not have . . . what? Could they have stopped their joy in seeing the other's face every morning and night when the sheep had been tended? Could they have resisted sharing the jokes about the rodeo or the scary stories or the experiences of growing up poor in rural Wyoming? Should they have walked off from the best companionship of their young lives, or the happiness it brought them?

Could Ennis have turned his back on the first person who ever pulled words out of him; real words, not just polite answers? Or the first person he'd felt free to tease about his cookin' or his harmonica playin'? Or the first person who'd made his heart melt by wantin', no needin' to kiss him and love him?

I am a good honest person, he thought, a hard worker, and the best daddy I know how to be, and Jack is a fine man with the same good qualities. We each have faults, but we are good people. We are two people who love each other faithfully, and that is something to be recognized and respected, too. It's not true that our love is less true or valuable than that of a man and a woman. It's just not true.

Lost in his own thoughts, it took Ennis a couple a seconds to hear what Jack was saying. "Here we are, this is it!" Jack pointed ahead about fifty yards, to a small white house surrounded by a rail fence and a riot of wildflowers. The sight of it took Ennis' breath away. It looked for all the world like an enchanted cottage from his daughters' storybooks. He had read to his girls every night when they were little. This house could have been lifted from those fairy tale pages. Ennis was speechless.

Upon closer inspection, Ennis had to laugh at his own first reaction. It was hardly a fairy tale cottage. The crudely built four room house had all the necessities: walls, floors and a roof. But that was as far as it went. The rail fence was falling down, and the weeds outnumbered the wildflowers. Still, it was a house, ready built.

He hated that his imagination was running away; far ahead of his circumstances. Ennis tried to tamp down that new thing in him, that he still couldn't identify. Might be called Hope, Excitement, or even Possibilities! Whoa, he thought, trying to get a grip on himself, Whoa there, Ennis Del Mar!

"Uh, Jack, are we still on your mama's place?" asked Ennis quietly. "Whose land is this house settin' on?" He couldn't hardly look at Jack, couldn't hardly breathe waiting for the answer.

Jack's eyes flew open, even larger than usual, and his heart 'bout jumped into his throat. "Yeah, Cowboy, this house is on my mama's property, and it's waitin' for someone to care for it again. My god, she don't have to move herself and daddy out of their room for us, unless she just wants to. We could move out here for the time that Bobby's here, or for however long."

There was a creek running along the back of Claire's property line, where Jack and Ennis let the horses refresh themselves, while they sat against a tree talking over what might be, what just might be.

"Jack, what were you saying about your mother moving out of her bedroom for us?" Ennis asked while chewing a stalk of sour grass.

He told Ennis about all the commotion, how mama had thought and thought of what to do about everyone's sleeping arrangements when Bobby arrived. "She'd decided to put daddy and herself in the front parlor, nearer to the bathroom, she claimed. And put me in their room down stairs. Then you where you are now, and Bobby in my old room." explained Jack.

"She even had us digging around in the attic for this thing she called a curtain stretcher, a bitch of a contraption, all fulla nails."

Ennis laughed, he remembered his mother's curtain stretcher getting him good every time he had to get it out or put it away for his mother. "What in the world did she want with that, Jack?"

"A right mystery, at first!" teased Jack. "But she has put an old bedspread on it. Stretched out, it looks real pretty. She wants to use it as a privacy screen, since the parlor don't have no proper door. That way, daddy's sick room will not be in plain sight. He still don't like people looking at him."

"She made me get up at the crack of dawn on Monday, rarin' to go and wantin' to dig around in that attic. I couldn't figure it out, at all. Then on the way to the hospital, she told me, Ennis. Wants us to be able to sleep together without causing any surprises for Bobby. That's what's been behind all a her planning. It's been on her mind all this week."

"You know what, Twist?" asked Ennis. "Think I'm gonna dump your sorry ass, and steal off with your mama. She's my idea of a real good woman."

"Don't blame you." Jack confessed. "When she told me that, it got me so bad, I had to pull over into a vacant parking lot and just hold her. You and me have not had any breaks, nor reasons to think that we could be accepted as a couple, but if my mama has anything to do with it, we'll have our chance."

"Let's git now; we still have to check the rest of the herd, and I have a million things to show you, Ennis. Hey, wait a minute there, boy. Have I told you today how glad I am that you're here with me?"

"Hmm. Nope, close as I can recall, you ain't said a word about it." said Ennis. "Or was that you, real early this morning, called me "baby" and said you been waitin' for me for a long while to admit that I love you and need you. I remember t'was a real good lookin' fella that said it. Was that you, Jack Fuckin' Twist?"

"You bet." said Jack. "You bet your sweet ass, it was me, Ennis Del Mar. And, now you've said it, you can't never take it back."

"Ain't aimin' to, little darlin'. crooned Ennis as he turned Jack around backwards, and held him against his chest. The way they were standing, facing the creek, Ennis' arms wrapped tight around Jack, swaying a bit, with his chin on Jack's left shoulder, was just how they had stood at the fire all those long years ago. This closeness satisfied that shared and sexless hunger, just as it had the first time. Ennis even hummed the same tune. Jack leaned back into Ennis and closed his eyes. Nothing mars this moment of complete happiness. "Please don't let this be another dream." he thought.

End of Chapter Seventeen


	18. Chapter 18

A Better Idea

Chapter Eighteen

Ennis still stood with his arms around Jack, humming and swaying just a bit, when he said quietly, "Jack Twist, I have a surprise for you."

"Is it something good?"

"Yes, it's something very good. Well, I think it is, anyway."

"Is it bigger than a bread box?" asked Jack.

"Uh, yeah, it's bigger than a bread box. What's a bread box, Jack Fuckin' Twist?"

Jack laughed, "It's a box you keep bread in, dummy!"

"I keep my bread in the refrigerator. What day is this, Jack?"

"Saturday, May 28, 1983. Why?"

"And when do I have to go home, Jack Twist?"

"Tomorrow, as usual, right? Not Today, Ennis, that's not a good surprise!"

Ennis was smiling, and shaking his head, "No, not tomorrow."

"I get the Holiday off, I can stay till Monday. I can sleep here with you two more nights and wake up with you three more mornings! Is that good news, Jack? "

Jack could no longer stand still, he whirled around and threw his arms around Ennis. "No, that's not good news, Ennis; that's Great News! How long have you been holding out on me? When did you know you had the extra day off?" Jack demanded.

"Couple a days." replied Ennis. "I thought it'd be a nice surprise, me not having to leave so soon, on Sunday."

"Ah, Ennis, that's the worst feelin' ain't it? The countdown, when we know we gotta leave each other. I hate that fuckin' feeling' worse than anything. Whooeee! We have a whole extra day!"

Laughing and happy, they mounted up Scarlet and Grey and headed west along the creek and up through the rocky places that were not good for the cattle to graze. It was a desolate but beautiful part of the ranch. Without thinking what he was doing, Ennis thought I might rather have this view when I wake up every morning next to Jack. He asked Jack what he thought of this part of the ranch. "It's my favorite spot on the place; see right over there where the creek falls between those boulders?" They rode in that direction, and Ennis had to agree. Dreams for another but not too distant day, he thought. Not nearly as distant as I once had thought.

Ennis did not want to do this, but he couldn't help it. His mind was racing ahead to Jenny's 18th birthday on September 30th. He would have to keep his paying job until he completed the child support requirements. Not that Alma and Monroe needed the money; but because he would proudly meet his responsibilities to support his little girls; he would never let anyone else do that. It's what he wanted to do. And, hell, he's waited twenty years, what's another four months?

Riding on, they went to look over the stock. Seemed they were more scattered than usual, searching for good plentiful grass. We need rain up here, bad. The grass was not what it should be, and they made a note to get some extra hay out here tomorrow, and some extra salt blocks, too.

While heading back to the house. they talked about whether or not they wanted to go to the Crook County Cattlemen's Picnic on Sunday; that was tomorrow. Time flew so swiftly by, that they jealously guarded any time they had together. The rest of the world could go hang, for all they cared, but still . . . if they were interested in making a life for themselves up here, maybe they should consider what Walter had said.

"Well, as long as I have you, Jack, I don't give a fuck what else we have, you know that."

"Me neither." laughed Jack.

"That settles it, then. Whatever your mother says, it will be. She says go, we go. She says no, we don't go. Good. End of discussion."

They arrived back at the house, settled the horses in their stalls and by a unanimous but unspoken vote, they climbed straight up to their spot in the hay mow. It was mid-day; they were expecting Jack's mom and Uncle Walter back home at any time so they definitely kept all their clothes on.

Mostly, they did. Well, the shirts had to come off, that was the only thing, had to have skin on skin. And then their pants just got in the way, so good god, before they knew it they were stark naked again and making soft sweet love on their blanket that Jack kept up there now, just for their own use.

At least they had remembered to hang up their clothes,

It was interesting, no, amazing to Ennis that he never knew ahead of time whether they would go after each other like starved animals, or whether they would be tender and loving, like the sweethearts that they are. Either way, he was in it for the long haul. He enjoyed Jack's body, and knew that it was mutual. They each gave, and they each took what they needed.

Like this morning, he thought, that was hot, rough fucking. It's what we both needed after missing each other all week. This is slow and sweet now, and satisfies in such a different way. And each time, hot sex or making tender love, I always think, "This is the best time yet!" Ennis did not realize that he was going to speak out loud, but he did.

"You think so, Cowboy? S'Funny, ya know, I think that every time."

"You do, too? That's just what I was thinking, Jack. Every time we're together is the best. I just need to be in you, have you be in me. I need to hold you, have my hands and my eyes on you. I need my mouth on you, Jack, all over you. If I could, I'd eat you up and swallow you so you'd always be inside of me. Guess that's weird and pathetic, huh? But it's the way I feel."

Jack said, "Not pathetic to me. I used to wonder how we could manage to melt into each other so we'd never have to be apart. I still do want that."

Ennis breathed in Jack's scent, and spoke into his ear, "Oh little darlin' you are never going to get rid of me. I'll be right there, every morning and every night, running my hands and my tongue all over you,"

Jack laughed, "Oh yeah, that'll be a hardship. You'll have to cut that out. . say in about two or three hundred years!"

"You know, Ennis, when we were on Brokeback that summer, I thought we'd never be able to talk like this. I could hardly get a word out of you, and I didn't know the words to describe what we were doing, or what we were building together. I sure didn't know it would turn into a lifetime of loving one man. F' I had, I'd a never married Lureen, had Bobby. Can't say I regret having Bobby. We were so painfully young back then, Ennis. Remember?"

"Yeh, I sure do. And it didn't get lots better real fast either. Took me years to realize that the only time I was alive was when we was together. And the rest of the time, what was s'posed to be my real life, I was just coastin' waitin' to get back to you, Jack. Talk about your goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation."

Continuing, Ennis said, "Jack it was that showdown a couple a weeks back that made me realize what I was doin'. How I was losin' you by holdin' out on you, holdin' off your dreams of a life together. Jack, one a the things I love best about you is that you do have dreams and you ain't 'fraid to go after them. I've never allowed myself to dream a'tall. Did you know that, Jack? S'funny though, today I been dreamin' about a lot of things. I've learned that we could have us some "Possibilities" Jack."

Reluctantly, Jack suggested, "Ennis, you wanna get up and get dressed now? I feel we shouldn't push our luck any farther, what d'ya say? I'd just as soon my mama didn't walk in on us naked, nor Uncle Walter neither!"

"Speakin' a that, Jack. Walter said it's real obvious how we feel about each other. What d'ya think we should do when other folks is around? Maybe I could close my eyes and not look at you, Jack. 'Cause when I look at you I can't help but get all warm and juicey inside."

Jack laughed so hard about Ennis saying "juicey", that he had to run outside to piss, or risk wetting his pants.

They had no sooner finished dressing and finger combing each other's hair, than they heard Walter's car coming up the gravel road. "Quick, check me out; Is my hair stickin' up all over? Do I have straw on my back? Let me look at you, turn around. You're okay!" They walked out of the barn to face the world. Even though they were most comfortable alone, just like they started out so long ago, it was a good thing once in awhile to be with each other with family near. It was a new and welcome experience, especially for Ennis.

Ennis was kind of curious how Walter would act when he faced them again, after the events of the morning. He couldn't believe he had kissed Jack right in front of Walter. Well, Jack needed comforting, and so did his mama, it was an unusual situation. Under normal circumstances, Ennis was a very reserved fellow, and would never do that. But. . .oh Hell! He had been in shock.

After greeting each other at the front door, Walter asked if they could all come in and sit down at the dining table. He had some important things to say to them all, and they would not keep till another day.

End of Chapter 18


	19. Chapter 19

A Better Idea

Chapter Nineteen

As soon as everyone got settled at the table, Walter started right in.

"You know sis, that I wouldn't talk like I'm going to, in front of you if I didn't think it was absolutely necessary, don't you? I wouldn't hurt you for the world, but everything is crushing down on me at one time, so I've made a decision to tell you things I promised never to tell."

"I wanted you and Jack to hear this together and I need Ennis here for love and support, and we're going to need a lot of both to get through this." With that, Walter stood up from the table and left his iced tea sitting and dripping condensation onto his placemat.

He paced for a full minute, trying to figure out where was the best place to start; couldn't think what might be best, so he just started talking. "Me and Johnny Twist was best friends, inseparable friends from as far back as we can either one remember, soon's we could walk across the road to go catch frogs, or climb trees I guess. Our birthdays is only one week apart, and we sometimes joked and told people we was twins. Johnny, he was the daredevil, he always had to climb higher in the tree, ride faster on his bike, jump his horse across the widest creek, just to show he could, and because he loved the thrill of it. Johnny had a smile from here to Cheyenne, and he used it to charm girls, teachers, parents, even strangers. Everyone liked Johnny, and he liked everyone too, and it showed."

At this, Jack stood up abruptly and went to the sink to get a glass of water, even though he had a full glass of tea sitting at the table. "Who the HELL are you talking about, Uncle Walter?"

Ennis was sitting very quietly wondering why he was being included in this family discussion, but was respectfully waiting and listening. He thought it sounded like Walter was describing Jack, certainly not the daddy he'd heard Jack tell about.

Walter sighed, "Please Jack, you're not making this any easier. This is your daddy I'm describing. I know you never met the Johnny Twist that I'm telling about now. But, take a look at your mother's face."

Turning, Jack looked at Claire; she was smiling sweetly, remembering. She nodded at her son, "That's the boy I been crazy about since I was six years old, Jack; my older brother's best friend, the wild neighbor boy. That's who I've loved all these years. Please, let Walter go on with his story now."

Walter strode back to the table, picked up his tea and drank it down in one motion, like a man dying of thirst. He resumed his pacing.

Jack sat back down at the table, Ennis reached over and took his hand and held it securely.

"All through school, Johnny and I was into the sports: baseball, basketball, even football, but every year we looked forward to the junior rodeo the most. He was a natural at it. He 'specially loved the bull ridin'."

"We started our freshman year in high school and we both did okay in the classroom. It wasn't exciting, but we'd help each other to study, cause we were each good in different subjects; so the tutoring helped a lot. It was at that time that Johnny first noticed my little sister. For the next three years, Johnny was at our house 'bout every day. This house we're settin' in now, matter a fact. We studied here, never at his house. Don't think either a us would a graduated from high school if he hadn't had this powerful crush on Claire."

"When I first noticed it, I wasn't too happy with him, 'cause all the girls was crazy about him and I worried that he'd break my sister's heart. I don't know for sure when he started lettin' her know that she was special to him, but before I knew it, they were a couple. Johnny and I got out of school and Claire had three years to go yet. I think Johnny knew that he'd go crazy waitin' to marry her if he stuck around here. So he did what he'd always wanted to do, he went out on the rodeo circuit. He just did the local or smaller rodeos, so he was back home some every week."

"I wasn't into the rodeo like Johnny was, 'sides I had my eye on Claire's friend Iris, and didn't want to get too far away, case she'd find a new boyfriend."

"Our parents said yes, Johnny could marry Claire but not till she graduated from high school. So one week to the day after her graduation, they got married, and me and Iris had our wedding one month later. Our daddy thought the world and all of Johnny Twist; was happy to have him as a new son. They was livin' here, and Johnny would work on this ranch all the livelong day, Monday through Thursday, and break his neck to keep up his share of the work. Then on Friday's he'd head off to a rodeo. He was doing real well too. Sometimes Claire would go along with him. Once you was born, Jack, about a year and a half after they married, your momma didn't go with him near as much. You know how it is with little ones."

"I'll never forget the day you was born, how proud your daddy was. I went to the hospital soon as he called and said they was leavin' the house and goin' to the County Medical. I paced the floor right along with him, and when the doctor came out and said it's a boy, he 'bout popped his buttons with pride. Back in them days, daddy's couldn't go anywhere near the babies till we brought'em home. The first time he held you in his arms, Jack, he cried like a baby, hisself."

Walter stopped and looked at Jack, who was having a hard time breathing. He had tears in his eyes, but brushed them aside with the back of his hand. Jack licked his lower lip, and said "Go on."

"Well, you were the apple of his eye; he was so convinced that you were the smartest baby ever born. He carried you around to all the relatives and bragged about every new thing you learned to do, whether it was to catch your own toes and stick them in your mouth, or say your first word. Yes, it was "mama", to be sure. Every time he got in his truck to go somewhere, you'd run out and say "go, daddy, go!" and he'd pick you up and holler at Claire that he was taking you with him, even if it was just down to the mailbox."

Jack dropped his face into his hands, wishing he could remember anything of a daddy who loved him so much. But he could not.

"So, anyway he was reluctant to leave you and your mama as often now for the rodeo circuit. He decided he'd go for the rest of the season, the year you were four and a half, and then he'd hang up his stirrups."

"Claire, could we have some more tea, please?" asked Walter. While she was pouring their tea, Walter continued. "Up to this point, your mama knows everything I've just told you. Jack, I wanted you to be acquainted with the boy I grew up with, the man your mama fell in love with, the daddy you've never known. And now you're going to hear why you never had the chance to know him."

"From here on is the part I promised Johnny I'd never tell. It was that last season and Johnny's fame was growing statewide and down into Texas, up into Montana. He had more trophies, belt buckles and ribbons than you could shake a stick at, had a right nice pile a prize money too. Jack, your daddy put up that money so your grandpa and grandma Bell could build that little house out on the ten acre tract out by the creek. Do you remember it? Paid for it all out of his pocket, all from prize money. Furnished it for them, too."

"That all changed the day he went to the Childress County Rodeo in Texas."

Walter flushed full in the face, and looked at Jack. "Yes, I'm sorry son; it all took place in Childress. Maybe a lot of things will start making sense to you now. Johnny was alone down there, me and Iris was busy with our own lives. Your momma and you were here 'cause you had the chicken pox and couldn't travel with him, though you dearly loved to go along and see your daddy ride.

Well, Johnny had always drawn a crowd; he never met a stranger, and he was so handsome, looked an awful lot like you did at that age, Jack. People just flocked to him. I suspect you know what I mean. You got that same charm."

Walter stopped and drank his tea again, didn't know this was going to be so hard. Hell, yes he did. But damn! He had to get through it.

"Okay, so he was down there at Childress and he won every event he entered, came away with a truckload of trophies and cash money. Now Johnny liked a beer now and then, but was not a drinker. Seems like these rodeo fellows said "come along we got to celebrate your big win tonight", and he didn't mind having one beer before heading on home.

Before he knew it, all the folks at the bar was buying him beers and shots and toasting his fantastic performance. Johnny gave away most of those drinks, he had two beers and one shot of whiskey. The drinks went straight to his head, he wasn't used to it, so Johnny was feeling even more friendly and trusting than usual. When Johnny said he had to be gettin' home to his wife and little boy, the men said to come on, they'd take him back to his truck. But they didn't."

Walter walked over and stood behind Claire with his hands on her shoulders so he could grab her if she needed it, but also so he wouldn't have to look at her face while he told it.

"Those men did not take Johnny back to his truck, they took him to a motel room, and they tied him up. Each one of the three men raped him, and beat him, and then raped him and beat him again. They kept him there for a full twenty-four hours using him, and telling him how pretty he was. Uh, and other descriptive things they liked about his body. When they left, they took his prize money with them. They laughed and blew kisses at him as they left the room, and said someone would find him in a day or two."

Walter stopped here to let Claire and Jack rant or cry or react however they needed to. Claire sat stunned, and Jack just let the silent tears run down his face unchecked..

"He was found by the housekeeping staff within a few minutes because they saw the men leaving, and thought the room was finally vacant. The Police were called, and an ambulance took Johnny to Childress Regional Medical Center, where they performed emergency surgery to save his life. He had a perforated bowel, among other things which I won't go into here, but his, uh, he was tore up really bad, uh, back there."

Jack stood and paced around till he could find a direction to go, he leaned against the wall and sobbed. The wracking sobs shook his body so, that Ennis went over to hold him, but Jack jerked away from him. "No, don't touch me!" he cried.

Ennis returned to the table and sat down.

Walter continued, there was still so much to tell and he wanted to get through it all as soon as possible, so they could all rest and maybe, just maybe begin to heal.

"I got the call at my house, from the Hospital saying that he was asking for me to come. I called daddy, told him what I knew, and asked him to go with me. When we got there, Johnny wouldn't look us in the eye, and he hardly can to this day. He made us promise to never tell Claire or anybody. He's so ashamed, like he deserved it, or brought it on himself, somehow. Daddy drove Johnny's truck back home."

Jack's sobs had quieted; he came over to stand behind Ennis and put his arms around his shoulders. Ennis leaned his head back against Jack, just to have some contact, let him know he was there.

Again, Walter stopped. This was too much to take in all at one time, he hated that it was necessary to tell it all, but it was.

"Walter, did John ever call a Rape Crisis Center, or Hotline, or anything of that sort?" asked Ennis.

Walter responded, "No, Ennis. That would have been the farthest thing from his mind if they even existed back then, and I don't know if they did."

"It's just that my friend, Linda Higgins was raped, and she reacted exactly like you're describing John's feelings. She felt so ashamed; thought she should have been able to prevent it, or stop it somehow. Thought it had to be her fault, that she must have done something to bring it on herself. Her sister finally made her call the Hotline. It took a long time, a lot of counseling, but she did come to accept that it was in no way her own fault."

"Well, Ennis let me tell you something awful, but true. We, none of us, not John, nor daddy, nor I ever used that word rape to describe what happened to John. We truly thought that only girls got raped. And even then, I'm so ashamed to tell you, we thought rape was a funny word, a joke."

Jack and Claire and Ennis were all staring open-mouthed at Walter, waiting for what could possibly be the explanation for his statement.

Seeing their reactions, he hurried on. "Well, in them days, as ignorant as we were, we thought that there really was no such thing as rape. It was considered to be what girls said after they'd been on a date, and the boy wanted to go all the way, and the girl did too, but she would pretend like she didn't 'cause she'd been raised to be a decent girl. That way, she could always be the innocent one. Especially if the girl got pregnant, she could say it wasn't her fault, it was rape. See, I told you we were ignorant."

Jack in his pain, yelled, "So what did my daddy think had happened to him?"

Walter blanched, and sat down hard on his chair. "Jack, I hope you are ready for this. We thought, your daddy and I, that he had suffered a Queer attack. We truly thought that's what Queers did. They went around and grabbed boys and young men, and forced them to have sex. I'm sorry Claire! I'm just trying to be as clear to Jack as I can be. This is the reason why "those types of men" were so feared and so hated."

"That's why, Jack, when Johnny saw that you had a crush on a boy when you were in the sixth grade, he beat you so bad, I thought he was going to kill you. Claire called me to come over quick, and I had to physically restrain him. He didn't want you to be a predator, or a sick animal like those men who attacked him."

Some things from the past were becoming a little clearer for Jack. "Walter, did they ever catch the men who attacked my father?" Jack asked.

"No, the Childress Police had nothing to go on. Most likely those men weren't from Childress, or even Texas. Several years later we saw an article from New Mexico about a similar attack, and the men were caught. John said that sure enough, the pictures in the paper looked like the men who hurt him."

"Just another thought Jack. I'm sure you were hurt that your daddy and mama didn't come to your wedding, seeing as how your dad was thrilled that you found a woman to marry and were settling down to a "normal" life. It was because it was in Childress, a place he'd never go back to, no matter what. Of course, he couldn't tell you that. He did wish you happiness, even though he could not step foot in that town."

"Same story for the Texas Ranger's games. Johnny said you gave him a open invitation to come down to Childress, so the two of you could go over to Arlington Stadium together to see the Rangers play. Bad as he wanted to go with you to see Jim Kern or Bump Wills he could not go back there."

"So he never really dealt with it, never got any counseling at all, is what you are saying?" asked Ennis.

"Unfortunately, that's true, he never would go. But I did." added Walter.

"You did?" asked Jack.

"Yes, you see, I was keeping this ugly secret, carrying it around with me, and I didn't even tell Iris, cause John made me promise to tell no one. But I always tell Iris everything, so it was giving me an ulcer keeping it from her."

"And I could see what it was doing to Claire, and Jack, too, the way John had changed so drastically. Anyway, I started bleeding, and my doctor detected the ulcer, but he was a wise man. In addition to treating my symptoms, he sent me to a Psychologist."

"While I was going to that doctor, we talked about so many things that had happened, and what I felt or knew about them. It was an eye-opening experience, to be sure. That Dr. Carter told me that hiding the truth, and keeping those secrets was eating me up. Literally, eating my stomach lining.

First thing I did was to tell Iris. That was such a big relief, I hated keeping anything from her. She's known for several years now."

"Dr. Carter also gave me some homework to do. Gave me a list of books to read. Wanted me to know the truth about homosexual men and what they are really like, what they want out of life; a home, a committed relationship and a chance at Happily Ever After; basically the same things we all want."

"The main thing I learned from my talks with Dr. Carter was that John's rape had nothing whatsoever to do with sex, or sexuality; it had to do with violence, and power over someone else. Those men most likely were not even homosexuals at all."

"So this brings me to today, This morning when I blurted out that I knew about you two from twenty years ago, and everyone got that big shock, I saw how you men are together, in real life. Jack, you went over and held Ennis in your arms and comforted him. Ennis you kissed Jack and leaned into him and reassured him that you were okay. Ennis you were very supportive of Claire that she not blame herself or worry. I saw real love in this house this morning. That was the best thing that could have happened to me today, it's what made my mind up to try to change what's been happening here."

"Every day when I go see Johnny, I talk about what's going on with the family. I've been telling him you were here, Ennis, and all the help you're giving his wife and son. Every day, just building up a positive image in his mind. Even though John has never met you, he knew your name from 1963, and every year when Jack would talk about bringing you up here to help on the ranch. He had built up a powerful fear, even a hatred of you, Ennis. I'm sorry son, that's just the truth. Thought you had turned his son's head."

"Today I faked a little hunger attack, and I asked Claire to go down to the cafeteria to get me a Snickers bar, just to get her out of the room for a few minutes. As soon as she left, I told John I was not willing to keep the secret anymore, and that I'd be telling you all this today, all of it."

"Another thing, Claire doesn't know this either. John is getting more than physical therapy at Mt. Carmel Hospital. They treat the whole person; in this day and age, doctors are beginning to recognize that our bodies affect our minds, and vice versa. He is getting counseling every day and has been since he went in there on the 9th of May.

I'm not saying I can see any results except for one thing, he lets me talk about ideas that he normally would never have listened to before."

Walter continued, but he was showing signs of tiring. "I hear a truck coming up the drive, it should be Iris. Yes, there was another lie today, Sis, when I said I was going to the Men's room, I wasn't, I called Iris to fill her in on what was happening. I told her what I was going to tell you, and asked her to give us an hour, and then come over with some much needed nourishment."

Just then Iris walked in, and said hello to the room in general, she didn't try to make eye contact with anyone till she knew how it was going. She walked over to Claire and put her arms around her, and patted her back. Only when Iris was here, did Claire feel safe enough to allow herself to let go and cry her heart out for the love of her life who had been so hurt and would never tell her why he changed.

Walter jerked his head to Jack and Ennis to leave the women for a minute, and go out to bring in the food. Jack and Ennis both lit cigarettes as soon as they were outside, and Jack said "I hope they hung those goddamn bastards!

Killin' is too good for'em! Fuck! What a thing to happen; my poor daddy!"

Jack turned and stormed off towards the barn, looking for something to hit. First thing he came to was a tree, so he kicked it and starting hitting it with his fist, punching that tree and cussing it for all the years that he'd been robbed of his true daddy. Ennis let him go at it for a bit, but worried he'd break his hand if he didn't let up. Finally, he walked over and grabbed Jack in a mighty embrace, pulled him away from the tree and into his arms. "Cry on me, darlin'. I'm here. I've got you. I've got you now. It's going to be okay." Ennis murmured to Jack in a steady stream, the way Jack did to him whenever things went wrong. Eventually, Jack quieted and went limp on Ennis' shoulder. He didn't think he could take any more of this. He was to find out that he was wrong; it wasn't over yet.

Walter was pulling food containers from Iris' truck. Jack wiped his face, as he and Ennis went over and retrieved all the rest of the meal his aunt had brought for them.

Inside, things were somewhat calmer. The table had been cleared, and a new pitcher of iced tea was waiting, paper plates, napkins and flatware had been placed on the table at each place. Iris took charge of opening and displaying the choices for sandwiches, potato salad, cole slaw and chips. The bread plate was filled and everyone was invited to help themselves. Claire filled tea glasses while the men began building hearty man-sized ham, turkey and cheese sandwiches, with all the fixin's.

The general assumption was that they had been through too much, that they couldn't possibly eat, but they all found that they were ravenous. Maybe each was looking to fill the hole in them with something other than sadness. In any case, they ate hungrily, it tasted good, and when they were satisfied, Iris brought ice cream sandwiches out of the freezer for their dessert.

When Walter had finished his ice cream, he resumed talking about the situation. There was another tough subject he had to broach and it affected each of them.

"Iris, my love, that hit the spot and probably saved our lives. I thank you very kindly for coming to our rescue." said Walter. Everyone chimed in with their appreciation as well.

"Jack, I'm sorry but we have to get back at this. We're running out of time."

Iris stayed seated at the table, reached over to pull Claire's hand into her lap, and softly ran her thumb back and forth across Claire's clenched up fist.

Walter started anew. "Jack, the reason I'm feeling pressured, and I'm rushing all of you is that two things are looming on the horizon. First, Bobby will be here on Friday night, and second, John will be coming home less than a week after that. Something has to be done, nephew. I'm sorry to speak to you like a dutch uncle, but you need to face this head on, be a man."

Jack gulped, and waited to hear the rest of what his uncle had in store for him. "As I said this morning, I got eyes. I seen how you two feel about each other, and Bobby will too. He's nearly grown himself, so that's not a secret you can bother to even try to keep." claimed Walter.

"And Jack, your poor wife, down in Texas; do you want your son to be the one to tell her that her husband is in love with someone else? I don't think that's the kind of man you are. Least, I would hope not."

"Uncle Walter, Ennis and I are not at a place where we are ready to . . ."

Ennis put his hand on Jack's shoulder to get his attention and stop him from talking. He stood up and turned to face Jack. Getting down on his right knee in front of him, he took both of Jack's hands and looked into his eyes. "Darlin' the time has come for me to step forward and make an honest man of you, if you'll have me. I love you, Jack. I want to spend my life with you; not two or three times a year, but every day. If not knowing where I stood has kept you from making a decision about telling Lureen and Bobby, then you have one less obstacle in your path. Whatever you decide to do, I'm ready to support it. You know I'm in, for better or for worse. No matter what, no matter when. The timing is entirely up to you." Ennis badly wanted to kiss Jack, but thought it would not be appropriate in front of all this family.

Jack reached down to Ennis' face and pulled him forward so their foreheads were together. They stayed that way for an eternity. Then he kissed Ennis'

mouth and said "I love you, Ennis. You know I'm in, for better or for worse." Jack then pushed Ennis to stand up with him, and holding hands they faced Uncle Walter.

"Sir, thank you for being my dutch uncle today, and for looking out for me and my daddy all these years. I owe you so much." so saying, Jack walked over to Walter to shake his hand. Walter shoved the hand aside, and took Jack in a big bear hug. He pounded him heartily on the back, smiling, his eyes full of tears at what they had all just witnessed.

Ennis walked forward to Walter, and putting out his hand, he said "I owe you a debt of gratitude for bringing us face to face with reality, sir, I won't soon forget it. Again, Walter rejected the handshake in favor of a huge bear hug and pounded Ennis on the back with the same fervor he had granted Jack.

"Walter said, "Del Mar, I knew I liked you from the git go, boy."

Meanwhile, both women were in tears, smiling to beat the band. Truth be told, they all felt like they'd just been witnesses to a wedding. Felt ready to sign the dotted line on the Marriage Certificate.

Claire made a beeline for her boys, hugged them both, smiling and crying tears at the same time. She kissed each of them and hugged them again.

Iris shyly made her way over to Jack, and hugged him, saying "I'm so happy for you, whatever you need son, me and Walter are here for you." she squeezed him tight to show she meant it. Iris then approached Ennis and holding out her arms for a hug, moved in firmly. When she had a good grasp on him, she spoke into his ear, "I'm your aunt Iris, welcome to the family, Ennis Del Mar."

The thing about hugging Iris was, she was only 5 foot tall and no inches. So Jack and Ennis both had to bend down considerably to let her hug them. It was worth it.

Walter said, "Hon, I think we should be goin' and let these fine people rest and sort their lives out a bit." They all walked out to see the visitors off, and Walter thought of something he needed to tell Jack. "School is out now and my grandson's are around plenty, so if you need to leave Bobby with us far as long as it takes for you to go talk to your wife, just let Iris or me know. We got plenty of room, and he'll have kids his age to hang out with."

Iris got in her truck and Walter in his, they both drove off to go home feeling that a great weight had been lifted off them today. "I hope that it hasn't come off me, only to be hung on someone else's shoulders." Thought Walter.

End of Chapter 19


	20. Chapter 20

A Better Idea

Chapter Twenty

Claire, Jack and Ennis waved to Iris and Walter, and then turned to go back into the house.

Claire had her automatic reactions to a lifetime of housekeeping duties to keep her sane; she started clearing the table, keeping her hands busy. Her eyes were filled to overflowing, but did not. She could not see through the blur.

Ennis felt useless, so he began to wrap food and put things away in the refrigerator.

Jack just stood in the center of the room, not knowing what to do nor where to go. He still wanted to hurt something or someone badly and really did not want to do this or feel this in front of his mother. Oh God, he thought, here I am thinking about myself, but what must my mother be suffering now, realizing why she lost her husband all those years ago?

Jack went to his mother to take her hand or hold her and she looked at him with sad, empty eyes. Claire Elaine Twist turned to her only child and said "You know, son, I love you dearly, but I just cannot do this right now. I'm going to my room to be alone, to read my scripture, reflect and try to settle all that's in my mind and in my heart."

She kissed Jack's cheek, then went to Ennis, kissed his cheek, and left them standing in the kitchen.

When Jack just stood there, lost, Ennis went into action. "Come on, darlin' I feel the need of a ride. Let's go". Obediently, Jack followed. They got the horses saddled up once again and rode out toward Ennis' new favorite spot on the ranch. The sound of the little waterfall in the creek rushing between the boulders wasn't exactly like that of the snow swollen river next to their campsites in the Bighorns, but it would be close enough.

Not one word had been uttered on the ride out to their spot, and Ennis was okay with that. He knew the self-absorbed, deep-in-thought territory from years of having inhabited that silent land himself. This wasn't Ennis' to fix. He had to trust Jack to work through it on his own. To be sure, he would be there to support and love him, even pick up the pieces if it came to that. But he could do nothing else.

It was second best, he knew, but Ennis had iced down several 6 packs of Bud cans in the cooler for his trip to Lightning Flat. It was just easier and safer than packing glass long neck bottles. So for this ride, he had grabbed, one of the six packs, and put the cans in his saddle bags. When they got to the spot and tethered the horses, he opened a beer with a loud whoosh, and offered it to Jack. Taking the beer without even looking at it, Jack said, "thank you, Cowboy."

He proceeded to walk, and to ramble about among the trees and back to the clearing, then into the trees again. Ennis saw that there was no pattern or logic to where Jack stepped. To just keep moving, that seemed to be both the method and the goal.

While Jack walked, Ennis explored along the creek until he found what he felt was the most beautiful spot; sitting down, he turned away from the creek and scanned the horizon. He located the highest point, and there he placed in his mind, the house he wanted to build for Jack. Once the house was oriented in such a way as to ensure sun in the kitchen each morning, and the layout of the rooms designed, he added patios and porches for long afternoons of visiting friends and family, and having drinks before supper with Jack. He next picked the spot for the stables, for surely in this dream life they would have several horses.

Ennis was stretched full length across the largest boulder, listening to the rush of the water, shading his eyes from the late afternoon sun, and painting his vision of their future in his mind's eye. Ah, he thought, so this is how dreamers dream; no wonder it's so popular.

He got a second beer out of his saddle bags for each of them, opened them and took one to Jack who was still walking, hands in back pockets now, elbows out, and head down. When Ennis handed the beer to Jack, he absently replied "Mmmhm", took a long swallow, and continued on his meandering way.

Ennis left him, and looked for the empty can that Jack must have discarded somewhere on his rambles. Crushing both his and Jack's first empties, Ennis placed them upside down against a tree to drain. They would be taken back to the house. I can't abide trash in our front yard, he thought with a smile.

Ennis resumed his position stretched out on the boulder; it was warm from the sun and he had awakened awfully early this morning, it was so relaxing.

Before he realized that it was happening, he fell into a sound sleep.

Ennis felt Jack kissing his neck and mouth, and he responded instinctively and strongly. They each had a desperate need to renew their connection, to feel that they belonged body and soul to their chosen mate. Making love outdoors always returned them to Brokeback Mountain and to 1963. They could almost smell the lodgepole pines, the smoke from their cooking fire, and the sheep, as they lost themselves completely to the magic.

When Jack's urgency was at a peak and he could no longer hold back, his voice rang out across the clearing, "Oh, Ennis! Fuck! Ennis!" They held each other tightly while cooling off. Ennis brushed Jack's hair back off his face, and caressed his jaw; he rubbed his thumb lightly across Jack's lips, and bent to kiss the upper lip, and then the lower. Looking into Jack's eyes, he told him, "baby, I love you so much." Jack smiled through fresh new tears, and he said "I know you do. I know it, Ennis."

They rode carefully through the dusk to get back to the house, unsaddled the horses and made them comfortable in their stalls once again. Claire had turned on a light for them before the sun went down. When they came in the door she was in her housecoat and slippers, getting a glass of water to take to her bedroom.

"I'm turning in early, Jack, tomorrow will be a fresh new day." she said.

"Good night, mama, we're having an early night too." he said as he kissed her cheek. Claire clutched Jack tightly to her, and patted his face; walking to Ennis, she did the same thing. Ennis took her face in his hands, and kissed her cheek. "You sleep well, little mama, you hear me?" he said softly.

Ennis and Jack climbed the stairs to their bed, and fell into an exhausted sleep.

Ennis was awake first, and went to put on a pot of coffee. While it perked he took a quick shower, but it just wasn't the same showering without Jack. He brushed his teeth, shaved and dressed, feeling that he wanted to be prepared for whatever life threw at him today.

Taking his first cup of coffee outside, he loaded the pickup with bales of hay and salt blocks for the cattle before sitting down to have his first cigarette of the day, and to watch the sun come peaking up over the trees.

Jack stumbled out, wearing yesterday's jeans, and not much else. Ennis thought how sexy he looked with his hair sticking up all over and his face wearing yesterday's stubble. He had a cup of coffee in his hand, and came over to Ennis for a "good mornin' darlin' " and a kiss. Jack reached out for Ennis' hand and pulled it to his mouth for a drag of his cigarette.

"Jesus H, Twist! You are lucky your mother is here to protect you. I could spend this entire day in bed reminding you that you are mine, all mine."

"Hmm? Well, she's not out here right now; she's in the shower, Cowboy."

Ennis took Jack's coffee cup from him and set it safely down on the ground; he grabbed Jack and shoved him up against the house, kissing him hard and rough. Jack gave back tongue, bodily contact, and some aggression of his own. He wrapped one leg around Ennis' legs and pulled him in close.

"Whoa, cut it out, Jack. You were supposed to squeal like a little girl and say, "No, no, my momma will catch us."

Jack grinned from ear to ear, "That'll teach ya not ta offer what ya ain't willin' ta give!"

Claire came out with a cup of coffee, looked at Jack and said "You gonna get dressed today, son?" She offered them both a 100 watt smile, and said, "Breakfast is ready soon as you get your shower, Jack." She walked back into the house, and closed the door.

Ennis turned to follow her in, but Jack blocked his path. "Don't go just yet, Ennis, I have somethin' I need to tell you."

"What?" he asked.

Taking hold of Ennis' chin, Jack turned a serious face toward him, blue eyes searching deep into brown ones. "I love you so much, too, baby" said Jack.

Ennis looked at Jack; told him "I know you do. I know it, Jack." then leaned in for a kiss. Jack obliged him with a perfect Sunday morning kiss.

"Now get your sweet ass in the shower, Twist, I'm hungry, and you're holding up progress." Ennis told him. Under his breath, he added, "wish I could be in there with ya, darlin'." Jack heard him and wagged his sexy tongue at him.

Ten minutes later the three of them, Jack still slightly damp, were sitting down to enjoy the breakfast Claire had made. She took their hands in hers and prayed that the food would nourish them, she prayed that John would soon be better and come home to them, and that The Lord would bless their family, especially Jack and Ennis. "Amen" they said.

Before Ennis let go of Jack's hand, he pulled it to his mouth and kissed his palm. Then, but only then, did he concentrate on his breakfast. They ate hungrily, having had no supper last night. The French toast was warm and buttery, with maple syrup, the scrambled eggs with bits of sausage in them were done to perfection, and the fresh sliced oranges were cool and delicious. There was a pitcher of milk on the table, and they each had more coffee.

"Excellent breakfast, ma'm" stated Ennis. He looked at Claire, and announced "If you wasn't a proper married lady, I'd be proposin' to you this mornin' myself." and then he patted his stomach and smiled.

"Why, thank you, my dear." Claire beamed at him, and then continued with what she was thinking to ask them about, "What do you both think of going to the Cattlemen's Picnic today?" she asked.

Truthfully, they had forgotten about it in all the excitement.

"We talked it over yesterday and decided that whatever you say goes. If you want to go, we go. If you don't, we don't. Why? You thinkin' you'd like to attend?" answered Ennis.

"Yes," said Claire, "I think that would be a good way to get our minds somewhat back to normal, see other people, reach out and touch this community a bit."

"Done!" said Ennis. "What time you want to go? I've got the truck loaded to take some hay and salt out to the pasture, shouldn't take me more'n an hour all in all."

"Take half that time if I go with you, Cowboy. One of us driving, one of us throwing, we could be back here in no time."

"Sounds good," said Claire. "I want to call Reverend Peterson before we go. John's been on the Prayer List at church already, but I want to ask for Special Intentions for him, knowing what we know now."

Jack drove as he knew the ranch best, and Ennis threw hay to supplement the sparse grass that the cows had access to. He also replaced salt blocks as needed, and watched for any cattle that didn't look quite right. Ranchers had to constantly be on guard for predators or sickness that could sweep through a herd. They were okay on water at the moment, as the creeks had not given up the ghost yet, though that pond wasn't more than a mud hole by this time. They sure did need rain, couldn't stress that enough.

Those big fat rain drops that had chased them into the barn last weekend had been it, for several weeks. And it's not even the hot, dry part of the summer yet, worried Jack.

Claire had made quick work of cleaning up the kitchen, and then dialed her pastor's number. "May I speak with Reverend Peterson, please." Claire requested when his daughter answered the phone.

"Reverend, this is Claire Twist."

"Yes, alright, Clayton, this is still Claire Twist." laughing at him as he reminded her once again to call him by his given name.

"Anyway, Clayton, I'll be going to the Parade and Picnic with my family this morning, and I was calling to see if you would please ask the congregation for some extra prayers for my dear John."

"No, we haven't received bad news, it's just that his condition is worse than I had first realized."

"Yes, it is a shame. Thank you."

"Well, no, I'm not sure God's will has anything to do with it."

"Okay, I understand, Reverend, uh, Clayton. Thank you, I will."

Claire dismissed Reverend Peterson from her mind, knowing that he would see to her request. Poor man, losing his wife to cancer three years ago has hit him hard, good thing his daughter can take care of him part time, what with her own family of little ones, and that tall, strapping husband of hers.

Clayton Peterson, lost in thought at his own residence, felt uneasy. It's not right, me feeling like I do about John Twist; I'll just have to pray harder that I learn more of God's mercy. Still, I wouldn't be human if I didn't notice that the man's not worthy of such a woman as that. Not worthy by half! But then, who is? he asked the walls of his lonely home.

And dismissing what couldn't be helped, Clayton Peterson wrote himself a note to request prayers for John Cade Twist, and then went to get ready to begin his day and go to his church.

Soon Claire had her purse on her arm; a sweater and an umbrella were placed by the door. The boys, as she unconsciously had begun to call them, even though they would each turn forty this Fall, were not back yet, but she knew it would only be a matter of minutes. This will be a good experience for them, she thought, and for me too.

I'm so proud of my tall handsome, hardworking, loving boys, I could just burst wide open with it. Oh my, where did that feeling come from? She was dismayed with herself. "A sin of Pride is still a sin, Miss Claire Elaine Bell!" she remembered hearing her mother admonish her on numerous occasions when she had gotten overly excited and happy about something she had accomplished or something she had created on her own. And the inevitable ending of that statement, again from her mother, " The Devil loves any kind of sin, little girl."

Claire vowed to keep a better leash on her emotions. She reminded herself that whatever those young men were, was a creation of God's, not hers. It's between them and their Creator, but I'm still quite proud of them.

Ennis tried in vain to get Claire to leave her purse at home. "Nothing you're gonna need to buy, why bother to carry it?" he reasoned.

But she was adamant. She laughed, "it's part of me, you little scamp, and I'm too old to change now."

"Still think you'd be more comfortable in Levi's 'n boots, ma'm." he teased.

The trio parked one block away from the parade route, and walked to a good vantage point from which to watch all the activity. Claire spied her best friend from high school, and waved. Ruthann Hauser had her grand daughters with her, both girls were decked out all in red, white and blue.

Down the way was a former neighbor who'd lost his ranch. She heard that he got him a job with Ralston Purina at the Cassidy Feed and Seed, over in Sundance. She waved and smiled; Dave Bowers is his name, she remembered. Dave's wife Julie called hey and waved at Claire and her little party, too.

The parade had not yet begun, but they could hear the band members tootling and tuning their instruments somewhere off in the distance. It added to the excitement. The Crook County Consolidated High School was the only school in the area, and as such the Marching Cougar Band was the featured attraction. Every band member's family would be sure to be here.

These kids, aged 14 through 18, were wearing their Navy and White band uniforms proudly. Never mind that they were sweating in the morning heat.

It was one of the highlights of the year. Their last performance for the graduating seniors; the first exciting performance for the eighth graders who would be incoming freshman in September.

Ennis was on pins and needles, as he had never attended a parade of any kind and was excited about this one. 'Course, he'd seen the Rose Bowl Parade on TV, who hadn't, but that didn't seem real. This was real, with actual friends and neighbors of the Twists' and maybe even fellas who had grown up with, and gone to school with his Jack. It made Ennis yearn to know the boy that Jack had been.

He wished he could have comforted him after his daddy beat him that time in sixth grade. Need to stop thinkin' on that! he fumed.

The Band came first and stirred up the emotions with a good old John Phillip Sousa March, The Stars and Stripes Forever. Ennis was so excited he took hold of Jack's hand, not thinking – then when he saw Claire and Jack smile, he changed to clapping loudly for the band. After that he put his hands in his pockets, but he couldn't keep them there very long. The parade was not big, nor elegant, nor glamorous, but it was the best one they'd ever been to together and it was fine and grand in their eyes.

Ennis was finding it difficult to figure out what to do with his hands. They constantly wanted to find Jack, and that just could not be, not out here. He did not mean anything by it; it was just that he wanted to say, "Oh, look at that cute kid." Or "listen, Jack, you hear that boy playing the drums, isn't he good?" Just to share the experience with Jack, that's all he wanted. Whoa, he thought, Walter was right. What the hell am I going to do?

The little group tried to figure out who was left to watch the parade besides themselves. All the kids who wanted to, could march in the parade by either decorating their bicycles with crepe paper through the spokes, and tassels flying from the handlebars; or by decorating a pet. All pets in the parade had to be on a leash, and had to have on a costume. One such pooch wearing a baby bonnet on it's head, was being dragged down the street by a 5 year old with a lollipop in her hand. Sometimes the girl got to lick the candy, sometimes the dog did. Ennis got tickled watching her, and he remembered his own girls when they were five, and wondered where they were and what they were doing at this very moment. They'd never guess what I'm doing, he thought happily.

All the men and women who wanted to, could march in the parade by riding on the Volunteer Fire Company truck, if they were indeed a volunteer fireman, and practically everybody in the region was.

Anyone could drive their John Deere tractor or ride their horse in the parade. Horses had to be decorated to be admitted, as well. A ribbon would do, so there were some well loved old horses who sported bright ribbons through their manes or tails. There were quite a few good horses in the surrounding area, and they made a fine sight as the riders and horses were gussied up to sparkle in the morning light.

More than one grandparent showed off their pride and joy by leading a decorated horse through the street carrying their smiling grandchild on it's back.

Ah, that was fun, thought Ennis. "Thank you for bringing me, Mrs. Twist." he said, "I wouldn't have missed this for the world."

"You're surely welcome, my boy." Claire responded.

Going to have to do something about this "Mrs. Twist" thing, just don't know what is appropriate, but I'll think and pray on it, she thought. I liked it last night when he said good night and called me little mama. I did like that.

The picnic grounds parking area was half filled by the time they got there. It was so dry and all these cars and trucks in one place, couldn't help but kick up dust. They all were used to Wyoming weather, so they squinted against the flying grit until they got into the picnic grounds proper. It was a little better there, away from the entering vehicles.

Jack saw Walter as soon as they got inside near the booths set up by the Ralston Purina Company. Walter hailed the group and waved them over.

"Good morning, didn't know if you'd be here, but I sure hoped you would be."

Ennis said, "Good morning, Walter. It was up to your sister, and she felt like seeing a parade and coming to a picnic."

Walter reached over to shake hands with Jack, and then Ennis.

Iris and Claire were sure glad to see each other and they hugged tightly. "Want to walk down by the needlework exhibits and see who's entered?" "Sure do." So off they went, telling the men they'd see them later.

"Rough day yesterday, huh, Jack?" said Walter.

"Yeah, it was, but necessary. Can we speak to you privately, Uncle Walter? asked Jack.

"Sure can, my boy." They spied several empty wooden picnic tables at the outer edges of the grounds, and walked off towards those, where they could speak freely out of earshot of others.

Jack began by looking at both Ennis and Walter. "I have done a lot of thinking and have come to a decision. Ennis knows nothing of my thoughts, simply because we have not had a private moment to ourselves. But, to pull this off I'm going to need a lot of help, Walter. So I need you both to hear me out and offer suggestions if you think I'm going in the wrong direction."

Both men agreed to listen to Jack's plan. Ennis lit a cigarette for himself, saw Jack look at it, and so he gave it to him. He lit another for himself.

"Okay, first I'm going to cancel Bobby's flight for Friday. I'll call Lureen tonight and tell her I'm coming home to get Bobby myself, I'll probably tell her we need to talk. I really hope his other grandma can keep him for a couple days, or as long it takes his mother and I to talk this out. I'll just have to play that by ear. Once I get home, well, to Childress, I can't say what the time line will be. I hope it's quick, but I cannot say for sure just yet."

Ennis felt so bad for Jack, he sure wished he could make this easier on him.

"I plan to leave Monday morning when Ennis leaves; mama would be on her own again. Tomorrow is Monday already, so here we are with this decision and timeline right on top of us. Walter, Mama hasn't heard this yet, either."

"If you think that your sons or grandson's could or would be able to care for the cattle and horses for a few days, honestly it would be several days, then this is what would allow my plans to go forward. I can't ask it of anybody, it's my responsibility, it's just that I can't be in two places at once, though I seriously do need to be."

"Ennis would stay and take care of it all, I know. But he has a job and they are depending on him to be there. Again, it's ranch work, so the animals have to be taken care of."

"I just hate to be asking, you know, but I need help."

"In the best of all possible scenarios, Bobby and I would be back here Friday night, June 3rd or Saturday morning, the 4th. But that's unlikely. I can't see Lureen giving up without a fight, or not wanting to discuss every thing at length. Although, she hasn't had a lot to say to me recently so who knows how she'll take it? Once I tell her I'm leaving and why, she could throw me out in the next five minutes."

"Somebody jump in here, can't you see I'm grabbing at straws? Oh, yeah, the worst case scenario, is that we don't get back here, until the 8th or 9th and then Bobby, and I, daddy and Ennis will all be moving back in here at the same time. Gentlemen, I believe my head is going to split wide open here."

Ennis began, "Jack, you know I can stay away as long as you need me to. I don't want to, but I can. I will not put undue pressure on you to explain me, or make others feel uncomfortable, till you get it all sorted out, darlin'. "

"Wait a minute, both of you. Let me try to help, try to talk you through some of this." said Walter. Now Jack, you haven't lived up here for many years. You are a grown man with your own family, and your own life. You've been here once or twice a year when you came to help your daddy with the heavy work. But the rest of the time, your parents have been on their own, and when they need support, or anyone else in the family needs support, we have all pitched in to provide it. We're family, that's what we do. Poor Jack, you don't have a brother or sister so you don't know how that is to be able to fall back on someone else."

"Well, fall back on us, Jack. You go do what you have to do, and let us worry about Claire and John. We will be here. Trust me, and don't let your head split open. Kenneth told me the night we found you with that flat tire, how guilty you felt about not being here for your mama, after you learned of your dad's stroke. But Jack, that's life. You should not be feeling like that. It's not possible you could have known, nor prevented it, there's no way."

Jack heard the part about "you go do what you have to do" and felt greatly relieved. "Walter, I'm going to go find Mama now, bring her up to date." He took two steps away and stopped. "Oh my god, I almost forgot! This is Sunday, Lureen is going to call tonight at 9 p.m. anyway. With everything going on, I had forgotten all about that." Jack waved his hand behind him as he walked off from them

Walter said, "Come on Ennis, let's go get us something cool to drink, and let me introduce you around a bit." When they had their drinks in hand, he asked "Young man, do you have a big bustling family like ours?"

"No sir, I sure don't." said Ennis, "I have one sister and one brother, but they are scattered. My parents died when I had just turned thirteen. I used to have an Uncle James but he moved off to Michigan or Minnesota or somewhere, and we haven't heard anything from him in years. He's probably dead by now too. In any case, I don't think he ever married."

"Walter, I have two nearly grown daughters. Here's their picture."

"My, how sweet they are. Ennis it seems you are about to inherit this big family. I hope you can stand it, there's a lot of us! But we do care about each other." added Walter.

"I can see that you do," said Ennis, "it's all new to me but feels very reassuring."

"Hey Winston, how're you doing? I'd like you to meet a new friend of mine, Ennis Del Mar." said Walter, "Ennis, meet Winston Chambers, he's got a nice spread up at Rockypoint."

While they were saying their "pleased to meet you's", Walter called over another fellow who was in the Cattlemen's with him, Harvey Potts, and introduced Ennis to him, as well. The men were all bemoaning the lack of rain, 'round these parts and wondering how long it would last. They were more and more concerned about brush fires.

Ennis told them they were doing fine around Riverton, had plenty rain this year. Strange how one part of the state is okay, while another's in drought.

"Oh what brings you up here, all the way from Riverton?" asked Winston Chambers. "I got a cousin over there, runs a store. More like a gift shop. Maybe you know him, name of Higgins, Tom Higgins."

Ennis replied, "I'm up visiting friends, yes, I believe I know of him. Fine man, I hear." Ennis said his thirst had got the better of him and he needed to go find another drink, and did anyone need anything? He left.

Ennis thought, I almost fell over when he said his cousin ran a store in Riverton, first thing I thought of was Monroe. Good grief, that gave me a fright. It's a smaller world than even I thought.

Jack was in quiet conversation with his mother. Claire knew how settled or not, Jack's future was with Ennis, but she also knew that it could not get settled properly, as long as Jack was still committed to his marriage. Claire felt a bit sad for Lureen, the girl never had a chance against Ennis Del Mar.

Everything was topsy-turvy at the moment, but she had prayed over this for many years and she was determined to let the Lord work it out.

Claire has high hopes for the first time in many years. It seems she now has a remote chance of getting her son back home in Wyoming, and she also has a chance to get to know her grandson. She will just keep praying that it all works out all right.

Ennis came looking for them. "Jack, you ready to go as soon as we get some lunch?" asked Ennis.

"Yes, darlin', we have a lot to do and a lot to talk about." Replied Jack. Mama you want to go home when we do, or will you be staying longer and catching a ride with Iris and Walter?"

Just then Claire was hailed by a group of friends who were laughing and talking and she said, "No, Jack, I'll be staying awhile longer." At that moment, Reverend Peterson walked up to her. "Hello Claire, is this your son I've heard so much about?"

"My one and only son, Clayton. Jack, I'd like you to meet Reverend Peterson, Clayton this is my son, Jack."

"I'd like to introduce my friend, Ennis Del Mar, Reverend Peterson."

As Jack and Ennis drove out of the picnic grounds, Jack began to complain. "You know, Cowboy, for twenty years I've hoped that this day would come, that we would actually begin trying to work out a life for ourselves; man, I like the sound of that! Don't you just love the sound of that Ennis?" and he looked over at Ennis to see if he, too, loved the sound of it. Ennis was waiting for the "but" however, he couldn't resist giving Jack a smile and a nod.

"But Christ, Ennis! Not like this! This is like 3 seconds on the bull, and then Wham! Your ass hits the ground!"

Ennis turned in his seat, put his back to the door so he could better see Jack's face and read his meaning there. "What are you saying Jack? You don't want to leave Lureen right now? Or you don't want to tell her you're leavin'? There's no one holdin' a gun to your head, here. I thought this is what you wanted. We don't have to do any of this" Ennis spoke with a finality that Jack didn't want to hear, and for himself, Ennis' heart was beating like a drum inside is chest.

This new, young feeling inside him, that he has been calling "Possibilities" for want of a better name, is too fragile to withstand much of a threat. But it means an awful lot to him, so Ennis has to be clear if his newly hopeful heart is in danger.

Luckily, they had reached the Twist property and could pull in off the road, be a little less conspicuous. Jack pulled over and stopped the truck along the lane, he smacked himself in the forehead. "Shit, I'm an idiot, Ennis!" He was feeling like a total ass, for his last few comments. I'd appreciate it if you'd forget everything I said in the past ten minutes!

Ennis merely continued looking at Jack, waiting for him to finally say what he meant, or figure out what he meant all along. "You know me, I bitch if things aren't going along easy. I DO want our new life Ennis, I want it with all my heart. You know I do. N' I promise you, I'm gonna be man enough to talk to Lureen like she deserves. And I'm gonna do it in the next few days. Ennis, don't say we don't have to do this. Don't say that, please!"

"Okay, baby." said Ennis. "Get us home now, Jack, I need to hold you."


	21. Chapter 21

A Better Idea

Chapter Twenty-One

Ennis and Jack walked in the front door to hear the telephone ringing. As Jack picked up, he heard a dial-tone. "Guess we got here too late, Oh well, they'll call back if they want anything important." Jack said.

"Well I can think of something pretty important, that I want." said Ennis putting his arms around Jack, "Let's go upstairs, bud."

"You bet." said Jack, "Just let me grab a hunk a that cherry cake that mama made, and a glass a milk. You want some too, Ennis?"

"Yeah, and water, too. Hey, where's your mama keep her trays? Or a cookie sheet will do to carry all a this upstairs." Well laden down, Ennis headed up the stairs and Jack decided to get two forks and napkins. Might as well act like I got some table manners, he grinned to himself.

As Jack turned toward the stairway, the phone began to ring again. He put the items he was carrying on the dining table and went to answer the phone.

"Twist Residence."

"It always just gets me, to hear you say that." said Lureen. Jack swung around to check the clock. 2 p.m. Uh, oh. "Hey Lureen," greeted Jack, "what's up, honey?"

"A lot, Jack. A lot is up. Don't even know how to start. Hey, you got a few minutes, Jack? I really need to talk to you."

"Sure, I do, Lureen, though I do need to let everyone know I'll be a minute, and then get me a chair. Ok? Wanta hold on a sec?" As soon as Jack got that much out, he ran upstairs remembering to bring the forks and napkins, and told Ennis that Lureen was on the phone with something on her mind, and he'd be back as soon as he could.

Ennis was lying on the bed, naked. Jack stopped in the middle of the room to feast his eyes, and thought, That woman has some bad timing. He strode over to the side of the bed and kissed his man thoroughly, "I'll be right back, don't start without me." he grinned and loped down the stairs.

Settling himself backwards on a wooden chair, Jack grabbed the phone and tucked it under his chin on his left shoulder. "Okay, I'm back, Lureen. Sorry about the wait." His long fingers were fiddling with the coiled cord, while his heart pounded, wondering what she had on her mind.

"Jack, uh, first, I think it's best if you cancel that flight you made for Bobby for the end of this week. And you'll see why, when I finish telling you just a little bit of what's going on here. You wouldn't believe it Jack, I been thinking my head would split wide open with it all."

"Okay, I will cancel the flight." Said Jack. He did not add that he had intended to anyway.

"Well, there's so much happening, everything's changing all at once. But one of the first things that happened is we got an offer from some big New Mexico outfit to buy Newsome Farm Machinery & Equipment. It's a good offer, Jack! I talked this over with our accountant, Dean Lewis, and he thinks we ought to take it, or even counter a little higher."

"Wow" is all Jack could say. He never expected to hear this kind of news.

"Then there's mother. You know, since daddy's been gone two years now mother has been learning that she has all kinds of interests and has started wanting to travel, you've seen all that. How she's changing, right?"

Actually, Jack had noticed. And he'd liked his mother-in-law more every time he talked with her lately. "Uhhuh," he said cautiously, wondering what was coming.

"Well, the upshot of all this is, mother wants to sell their house and move back to Denver where she's from. Daddy gone, she's kind of homesick for her friends and family that's still up there. She wants a fresh start."

Good thing Jack was sitting down, "Whoa, that's a big move." he said.

"Yes, it is, and this is why I'm callin'. Me and mother and Bobby are going to head up to Denver to look around. See if she really wants to do this. I'm thinking we'll drive, and just take our time. See the countryside. You always seem to enjoy it, thought maybe we would too!"

"Okay." said Jack. He was reeling, these people did not change, they did not travel, they did not call him with life-changing events. Till now, anyway.

"So, I was thinkin' ,Jack. Could you meet us in downtown Denver then? We'll be at The Brown Palace, 321 17th Street. You need the phone number there? Sure, it's 1-800-321-2599. The brochure mother got says it's near the Zoo, we thought we might take Bobby over there to see that. Thing is, there's so much to do in that city, we're really looking forward to this trip."

"Anyway, if that's okay with you, that we change the plan, then we'll go ahead and make our hotel reservations. These Holidays have me all mixed up, this is Sunday, right? I'll make our reservation for tomorrow, Monday and we'll plan on being there a week. Yeah, I know it sounds expensive, but mother says not to worry about that, it's her treat. She's real excited."

"Yeah, George Farley will be covering the dealership for us, and Dean said he'd keep an eye on him. He'll come by every day to make sure the money is getting deposited in the right accounts and that all the paperwork goes out of the financing office correctly. Knowing Dean, he'll make sure all the T's are dotted and the I's are crossed!" She giggled over that. Her daddy always said that phrase backwards like that, she thought if was funnier than saying it the right way.

"Jack, I need you to come there to pick up Bobby for the summer, but I hope you can stay a few days, not just grab him and his stuff and rush off."

"Lureen, you know I need to be back here as soon as I can, I'm needed here. I do plan to stay a day or so, though, don't you worry."

"Well, Jack, I ain't exactly worried, you know? But, well, we uh, you and me do need to talk Jack, about some other things too."

"Yeah, we do. Are you aiming to say what we need to talk about, Lureen, or are you just gonna wait till I get there?"

"Jack, there's too much to go into on the phone. Tell you the truth, I've asked mother if she could take Bobby to the Zoo and the Museum of Nature and Science, and kind of keep him busy while you're there in Denver, so you and I can have some private time. Okay?"

"Sure, okay."

"But, your son Jack, do you know where your son has asked to go instead? The U. S. Mint. He wants to tour the mint."

"Lureen, that sounds good to me, too. Let me take him there, if you and Irene don't mind. You just do the zoo and other stuff."

"So when do you think you can make it down to Denver, Jack? Do you need time to think and plan? I know I've thrown you a monkey wrench, as the saying goes. You can call me back with that if you want."

"I'll be at the Brown Palace on Tuesday afternoon, before dinnertime. Expect me then." Jack stated decisively, "That's the day after tomorrow, Lureen, May 31st. Just saying it that way, cause this holiday has my days and dates all mixed up. See you then."

"Okay, Jack, see you in Denver on Tuesday afternoon."

Jack heard a click and the line went dead.

On Tuesday afternoon, Jack handed his ignition key to the Valet at The Brown Palace Hotel, made his way through the lobby of this grand old hotel to the elevator. The Elevator Operator nodded to Jack, and said " What floor, sir?" "Oh, three please."

Lureen was waiting in room 311, he had called ahead and told her he was in town and would soon be there. Both were nervous, but both had their minds made up and were determined, as well. So it made it a little easier on them.

Jack knocked, which seemed silly. This was his wife's room, wasn't it? But she opened immediately, and stepped back to admit him. Oh god, he looks so good to me, she thought. I hope I don't weaken, His affect on me is still strong, like a punch in the gut.

They came together in the middle of the room for a friendly, perfunctory kiss, like there was something else on their minds. Jack strolled to the window, "How do you ever get used to this view, Lureen?" right smack in front of him was the Rockies. He was used to mountains, but this view was majestic.

"I'm sure I don't know, Jack. It's stunning, isn't it? Say, do you need a sandwich or a drink?"

"I'll take some water, if you got it. Not drinkin' much these days."

That statement alone was a testimony to how much had changed since they'd seen each other last. She got his water, and neither one sat, they just kind of each took their corner. They paced a bit, quietly, nothing like a caged animal, they were feeling okay, so far.

"Well, Lureen, you said you and me had things to talk about. You wanna start?"

"Yes, I do, Jack. You know how my daddy always taught me to come right out with whatever was on my mind, especially the hard stuff, so I'm just gonna say it. I don't want to be married anymore, Jack. It's not you, Jack. It's"

He reached her in three strides, Jack grabbed Lureen Newsome Twist up into his arms and swung her around until her feet flew out, and he got so dizzy he was afraid he would drop her! He returned her to her feet, and felt pretty darn foolish, at that.

"Seems you aren't upset at what I've said. Was this what you wanted to talk to me about, too? Is there another woman in your life, Jack?"

"Yes, I've come to the same conclusion as you, Lureen. We've been friends, but we haven't been in love in ever so long. No, there's no other woman. What about you? Is there someone else?"

"No, Jack, no one else. Just me. I was so young when we married, I just feel that I never had a chance to learn to be me. I don't know what I want right now, but I want the freedom to find it for myself. Not for L.D. Newsome, and not for Jack Twist and not for Bobby Twist. I just want to find out what Lureen Newsome Twist wants to do or be or try."

"I see, Lureen, I never knew you felt this way, honey."

"It's been growing for some time, but these past four weeks or so that you've been gone has given me time to think, time to sort out who I was and what I wanted, or didn't want. I love you, Jack. Just not the way a wife should. We shoulda stayed friends, maybe. But then there was Bobby on the way, and we thought we were doing the right thing by each other. 'Sides with my daddy throwin' a typical L.D. Newsome fit, and showing the vein on the side of his neck about to burst, we did the only thing we knew to do."

'Yeah, I know what you mean. We have been good friends, but honey there's more to life than that. And I hope you find whatever makes you happiest, 'cause you deserve it. I found mine, Lureen."

"It's Ennis Del Mar, isn't it Jack?"

"Yes, it's Ennis. He's the love of my life. How did you know?"

"Well, funny thing, Jack. A wife has a certain sense about her husband. Not that it didn't take me all these years, cause it did. Something was always a little bit different, but I didn't work it out till I talked to him last week. Lord, was it only a week or two ago? The whole world has changed since then."

"There was something in his voice; so full of love, or familiarity, or some thing I could almost touch. He loves you right back, doesn't he Jack?"

"Yes, Lureen, he does. All these years he's been afraid to try, afraid for us to have a life together. But since daddy's stroke, he kind of gradually saw that when he came up to Lightning Flat on weekends to help out, to be a friend, that the world didn't come crashing down."

"We have so much to work out, nothing is certain, but I want to try for that life I've wished for with him. That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Men together. I know you couldn't have wanted this for yourself, Jack. But we don't get to choose who we love. I know that. I wish you happiness, I really do. I know it won't be easy for you. But what about Bobby?"

Jack let out a lungful of air in a huge sigh, "Lureen, I can't believe after all this time, that we are sitting here talking about this so calmly. I never expected it, and never thought you'd go along with me on it."

"It's timing Jack. Last year I probably would have gone to pieces on you, put you on a guilt trip and felt that I was justified, but I've changed. I've matured a little, but also I've seen that it's time for me to be a little bit selfish, and find out what I want to do with my life. Did you ever know that I had hoped to go into Broadcasting? See? I can still surprise you, can't I?"

"But you didn't answer me, Jack. What about Bobby?"

"I want him, Lureen. I want him full time, not just for the summer, but for always. Does that shock you? My dad had a boy, and for legitimate reasons, he didn't do what he should, didn't do right by me. I want the chance to have a life with Bobby, see him grow up, I want to do right by that boy if you'll let me."

And so it was settled, Lureen and Jack would divorce. She would file in Texas where they had married, and where their legal residence still was. They would go the route of the new "No Fault" divorce so neither one had to be made out to be the bad guy. Jack called his attorney from the hotel and told him to cooperate in every way with Lureen and her lawyer. Just get it done as quickly as possible. Jack gave him the Lightning Flat address as a permanent forwarding address.

They intended to sell everything except their vehicles, and divide it right down the middle. Of course, Irene owned 51 percent of the farm machinery business, but Lureen and Jack each held nearly a quarter interest. Lureen knew her mother was leaning towards accepting the offer of those New Mexico businessmen.

Jack took hold of Lureen, she reached her arms up around his neck. He kissed her warmly, and lovingly. She kissed back, then laid her face on his chest. There was music coming from the speakers in the ceiling of the hotel room, and Jack smiled down at his wife and said, "May I have this dance?"

On Wednesday, Jack took Bobby to the U. S. Mint and took one of the regularly scheduled tours. It was fascinating to both of them, to be sure. It was something they each enjoyed. Bobby hit Jack up for some big bucks in the Gift Shop when the tour was over.

Bobby had been told only that his mom and grandma Newsome were going to sell the business and the houses and move up to Denver in the next few weeks or months, as progress was made. Lureen had to find an apartment to rent for awhile, till she made some decisions about her future.

"In any case, this will be lots closer to you and your daddy, Lureen had explained to Bobby. This will be easier for visiting, than it would be goin' all the way back to Childress all the time. I will come up to Wyoming to visit you, and you can come down here to Denver to see grandma and me, whenever you want."

Bobby didn't know that Lureen had instructed her attorney to set up the agreement to permanent custody to his dad, allowing any and all visiting rights to her.

Thursday morning Jack, Bobby, Lureen and Irene were all gathered in the hotel room; saying goodbye, saying I'll write, saying I'll visit you. It was sad, but also happy like the beginning of a vacation or like a fresh start.

The two men of the Twist family started out heading north on I 25 toward Fort Collins, and then turned west on I 80 to Laramie. When Bobby started fidgeting, Jack decided to stop for some lunch and a walk to stretch their legs. They had plenty of time.

"When they finished their quarter pounders and fries, Bobby looked at Jack, and said. "You know, dad, I ain't a stupid kid. What's really going on?"

Jack just about choked on his fried apple pie. "What do you mean, son?"

"About you and mom, dad? You act like you ain't gonna be living in the same place any more. Don't you love each other no more?"

"Oh that, well, no. we ain't goin' a be living in the same place any more. You and me's goin a be in Wyoming, and mom and grandma's goin' a be in Colorado. That's kind of what everybody decided to do."

"About the love thing, Bobby. Your mom and I still love each other. Did we act mad back there at that hotel? See, though son, there's all kinds a love. Your mom and I do not love each other like a married couple ought to, but more like we was friends. Which is true, that's what we are. Okay? Does that answer your question?"

"I guess so, dad." said Bobby. "But dad, if you don't love mom, who do you love?"

"Hey, Bob. You want to tell me all about your end-of-school parties, and your water skiing out at Lake Kemp?"

"No, dad, you ain't even funny. Don't try to distract me like I was two years old again. Is that a hard question I asked?"

"No, son. It's not a hard question. I know the answer to it, for sure. It's just that I don't know how much you want to know right now, and how much you can just get used to over time."

"Dad, I'm seventeen years old. I believe I can handle it. She ain't my age, is she dad? Cause that'd be gross!"

Jack had to laugh at that, and realized that Bobby's imagination would be going a mile a minute until he told him everything. So it was best to stop putting if off, and just say it.

"Bobby, the person I love is not a girl at all. He's a man. It's Ennis Del Mar."

"Oh, gross dad! Your old friend? Your fishing buddy you've always told me about? You love him? Does he know it, dad? Do you kiss him?"

"You wanta stop there, son? Let me answer some a those questions? Or you just wanta keep on talking all the way to Riverton?"

"Riverton, I thought we was goin' a live in Lightning Flat, I think that's a cool name, dad."

Jack was mentally shaking his head. This boy had moved on from Do you kiss a man  to Lightning Flat is a cool name all in the space of 3 seconds. Made him wonder how much Bobby really wanted to know at this time. He decided to wait, and let Bobby come back and ask again, if he really wanted information.

Bobby fell silent, just watching the scenery slide by. After a while he dozed.

Ah, he was a lucky man, that's for sure. He was beginning to realize that he really was free. Un-fuckin-believable! He could not wait, could not wait, till he reached Ennis to tell him all about it.

Jack was driving along remembering the afternoon after Lureen's last phone call. He had gone back upstairs to find Ennis dozing on his stomach, still naked as the day he was born. Under most circumstances, Jack would have made a good, rough afternoon of it, but he felt so uncertain about what Lureen's phone call actually meant, that he was quiet, thoughtful and loving.

On Monday morning, Jack and Ennis had driven out of the Twist's lane at the same time and headed for Riverton. Jack maintained that now Ennis had slept at his house, so he wanted to sleep at Ennis' place. He had intended to do this ever since the idea had come to him, even when he thought he'd be driving all the way to Childress. What did a few more miles mean, when you had the option of spending time with the love of your life?

So Monday night, Ennis hosted Jack at his place. They grilled steaks on Ennis' grill where he'd recently cooked for his girls. The food was the best Jack had ever tasted, since they left Brokeback. He was so complimentary he made Ennis blush.

Then Ennis said, "Come on, bud. Got somethin' a show you." He drove him over to the laudromat, and parked where he'd parked last week. He dropped the tailgate down, and they sat there looking at the stairs to the old apartment, sharing the memory of their reunion. They smoked one cigarette each, and then stirring themselves, said "let's go home and go to bed."

In the truck Ennis said, "I always wondered, Jack. How did you find me after four years?"

"I didn't, you found me."

"What are you talking about? I got the postcard you sent me; Ennis Del Mar, General Delivery, Riverton, Wyoming. How'd you know where to find me?"

"Didn't."

"Ennis, I sent the same thing to Signal, General Delivery, and to Worland, General Delivery, and to Sage, General Delivery, and to Dubois, General Delivery, and to Casper, General Delivery. Anyplace you'd ever mentioned to me that you'd spent more than twenty minutes in, I sent a card there."

"Yours from Riverton was the only one to come back, saying YOU BET, and the rest is history."

Luckily, they were back and pulling into the space in front of Ennis' trailer by this time, and they made a dash for the door. Not only to grab each other, but because they saw Edith Clark stepping out of her door, and they wanted to avoid a neighborly chat.

"I knew I never could thank you enough for looking for me, Jack Fuckin' Twist, I've always been so thankful that you knew where to look. Now I see how hard you worked to find me, darlin' . I cannot get over all those post cards you sent. And all this time, I thought it was just one postcard saying "Drop me a line if you can, say if your there."

"Yep, it was quite a few."

"Jack, I have never loved you more than I do right this minute. When I think what my life would have been like if you hadn't sent all those post cards. I tremble just thinking about it. And if you hadn't driven all those miles from Texas all these years, to see me a couple times a year. Jack, you've saved my life over and over and over again. A person would get the idea that you were kinda stuck on me." Ennis twinkled at Jack. Light came poking out of his mouth and his eyes, everywhere on his face just beamed.

"A person would be right, Cowboy. I am stuck on you, and don't forget, while I was saving your sorry ass, I was saving my own at the same time!"


	22. Chapter 22

A Better Idea

Chapter Twenty-Two

Jack was so excited to see the Riverton, WY sign again; it gave him a little jolt. He had no idea if Ennis would be home on this early Thursday evening. Would be around 6 o'clock by the time they reached Ennis' place, he figured.

He had so much to tell his friend, that it seemed like months since they'd talked; but in fact, they'd just left each other's side two days before. At dawn, Tuesday morning, Ennis and Jack had been tangled together in bed, arms and legs entwined, warm memories of the night's lovemaking still on their skin. They forced themselves apart, but gently, and kissed the places now cooling from loss of contact. "Damn fine idea you had, to come sleep at my place, Jack." Ennis said as he kissed Jack's chest.

"Mmm hmm" murmured Jack while licking the little crease at Ennis' neck and shoulder.

"But, this'll never work. You and me. No way." stated Ennis matter-of-factly.

"What the hell you talkin' 'bout, Cowboy? Feels like it's workin' to me! Mmm somethin's workin' again, I can tell for certain."

"But, Jack, I gotta work, you ever hear of child support? And I'll tell you this, I can't quit this one." Ennis laughed out loud and continued. "How'd I ever get out of bed in the morning to keep a decent job if I had the likes of you in my bed every dawn? Eh? Answer me that!"

Jack started nuzzling down the center of Ennis' chest and didn't stop till he found something hot, hard and velvety in his path. "Eh? Can I think it over, and get back to you on that, Ennis?" Then, for reasons anatomical, he was unable to speak coherently for awhile. He soon had Ennis moaning with pleasure; Ennis pulled Jack around so he could take him in his mouth and give back some of that loving attention with mouth, hands, arms and legs. They again forgot about the clock.

The Clock! Eyes flew open and Ennis jumped out of bed all in one motion. He went to plug in the already filled coffee pot, and headed for the shower. Jack knew it would not "save time" if they showered together, so he washed his hands at the sink; and naked, pulled out plates, cups, flatware, bread, butter, eggs and he set the table for two. When he heard Ennis' shower water shut off, he poured Ennis' favorite cup full of hot, black coffee and took it to him in the bathroom. "Mmm, thank you, darlin'" murmured Ennis.

While Jack showered, Ennis cooked the eggs and made the toast. He poured each of them a glass of water, and one of orange juice. The table was all ready for them to eat whenever Jack came out dressed but still damp and sexy. There would be no lingering, or second cups of coffee this morning, they had seen to that with their reluctance to get out of bed and each other's embraces.

All the while Ennis was in the shower, and now while he cooked, there was this big, broad smile on his face that he couldn't seem to control or banish. When Jack walked out of the steamy bathroom, he had a matching smile. Oh my god would you look at that man, Ennis thought. Ennis had to get a grip on himself to remember his job, and not start undressing Jack all over again.

Jack could read the uncertainty in Ennis' eyes. Momentarily confused, he asked "What?"

"Uh, breakfast is ready, we should eat. Don'tcha think?" If this had not been a work day, he never would have suggested that they eat. For some reason, this morning Ennis couldn't get enough of Jack, never enough.

They ate one-handed, the other belonging to the man across the table. When they'd eaten their fill, they washed the dishes and left them to drain dry ala Claire Twist. They put the food away, wiped off the table, then went to make up the bed. The chores were done.

The men could find no reason to dally longer. They came together hard and clasped for dear life, unwilling to part after having shared at least portions of each of the past five days. Their kisses were desperate and filled with longing.

They had good reason to believe that the next time they saw each other, their lives would be altered forever. Jack was going to Denver to tell Lureen of his love for Ennis Del Mar, and to ask her for a divorce. He was also planning to bring Bobby back to live in Lightning Flat, and he intended to tell his son about them, he and Ennis as a couple, right away.

Reluctantly, they released each other with one last kiss. Ennis looked into Jack's eyes and said "Come home to me safe, darlin'."

"I will, Cowboy, wait for me." replied Jack.

Their keys were hanging on the hook next to Ennis' door, and the two hats, one light and one dark, were on the hatrack above the keys. Retrieving their items, they each took a deep calming breath and stepped out the door. Ennis locked up while Jack went to his truck. Glancing down at the red heart key chain that Ennis had recently given him, Jack smiled another happy smile.

Once outside the trailer, there was no sign they were anything other than one good buddy providing a stopover for a friend on a long trip. As Ennis climbed into his own truck, he called "Drive careful, bud." They each waved as they started their engines. Ennis drove off to the ranch to work, as Jack headed southeast to Denver to meet Lureen at the Brown Palace Hotel.

Now returning on Thursday, with Bobby dozing beside him in the truck, Jack rounded the curve on Rt. 138 and saw Ennis' aqua and white pick up at his trailer. His face lit up like a christmas tree. He reached over to excitedly shake Bobby's knee, saying "Wake up son, we're here." He almost said "we're home" because anywhere Ennis Del Mar was, would be "home" to Jack. Being Jack, He couldn't resist honking the horn as he pulled into the parking space he had just vacated on Tuesday morning.

He watched as Ennis opened the door, with a tray in his hand, and there were two more faces peering out at them as he and Bobby climbed out of their truck, both stretching to loosen tight muscles.

Ennis dropped the tray he was carrying on the counter with a clank, and raced to greet Jack. Friend-like, Jack offered his right hand to shake, but Ennis by-passed it for their usual full length body hug, saying in Jack's ear, "It's okay. I told them."

Then he saw the boy step around from behind the pickup.

Quite smoothly, he thought, Ennis slapped Jack on the back, saying "Good to see you, Twist!", then moved to welcome Bobby formally, introduce himself, and then introduce him to Junior and Jenny.

Ennis refused to allow himself to stare, but he was beguiled by the resemblance of this boy to the one he'd fallen in love with back in '63. "Anyone ever mention, you sure do look like your dad, Bobby?" asked Ennis.

"Maybe a time or two." Bobby gave that same lopsided grin that Ennis knew so well and his heart just about flipped over in his chest.

To get his imagination under control, Ennis turned his gaze back to Jack and said, "Girls, you remember Mr. Twist, don't you?"

"Call me Jack, please. Good to see you again Junior, Jenny. My, you are both such grown up young ladies now."

The girls responded politely, though they didn't remember meeting him except that one time when he drove up right after their parents were divorced, and he had driven away so quickly. The thing Junior remembered was how their daddy had told them "Say hello girls" like they was two years old and had to be prodded. That was embarrassing in front of anyone, but especially a good lookin' man like Jack Twist. Why did daddy have to act so nervous and antsy like that? He had been fine, and they were all joking about what toppings they were getting on their pizza, and then when Jack drove up daddy acted like he had bugs crawling all over him; he was so jumpy. The rest of the day had been awful hard, Junior remembered. Daddy was so sad, he hardly said a word. Maybe now, after what daddy had told them today, it made more sense. It made a lot more sense.

Ennis said, "Jack, you and Bobby got here just in time, we're putting supper together now. You wanna help me carry out the table, Jack? The girls have been wanting to eat outside, and this seems to be the best weather we've had to do it." After finding a level spot for the new two-part table, Jack fetched the dishcloth and wiped off the table.

Ennis already had the coals going before they got there. So they needed to get the fixin's ready pretty quickly. Jenny showed Bobby where he could wash up, then he patted out some more hamburgers. Junior handed down all the plates, cups, glasses and flatware. Ennis found two feed buckets and turned them upside down as stools for their guests. Jack, seeing that, scoffed and pulled two lawn chairs (the ones he and Ennis always used on their "fishing trips") out of his truck, and offered them. They weren't the right height though, so the buckets stayed.

Alma Jr. proudly carried out the deviled eggs she had made for the occasion and Jenny did the same with the pickled beets. While Ennis grilled, Jack sliced some onions and pickles and piled them all haphazardly on a platter. Jenny found a couple tomatoes that Edith Clark had given to Ennis from her garden, so Jack sliced them, as well. Jenny arranged them fanlike on an old yellow plate. Jack appreciated her efforts and cocked one eyebrow like he does, she knew he liked what she had done. Jack said, "maybe you want to make a art project out of that mess a onions and pickles I just created."

She laughed. "No, thanks, I think they are beyond redemption." Jack made a clueless face at her, and Jenny liked how he reacted to the mild teasing.

Junior and Bobby were having a contest to see who could fold the napkins in the weirdest style, and they laughed at each new attempt. They opted for flat, just like they were in the package. Junior remembered they needed salt, pepper, mustard and mayonnaise for the table. She told Bobby to come along and help her carry them. Inside, she found her dad heating up a pan of beans and grinning like it was such a good joke.

When at last everything was on the table, and they were seated, Ennis went to get the beans. He proudly set the bowl in front of Jack. "Knew you would be disappointed if we didn't have some beans, bud." Jack reached over and punched Ennis on the shoulder, hard. Couldn't keep from grinning, though.

Settling himself at the table, Ennis reached out and took Junior's hand and Jack's hand and looked at them to follow through around the circle. He said, "Bobby, this is something your Gran Twist does, and it's one of my favorite things I've learned from her in the past few weeks."

And following this explanation, Ennis prayed aloud for blessings on the food that it might nourish them, for blessings on all their family and friends, especially Jack's dad, and asked for guidance that he might be a better person. He ended by saying "Lord, this is my family right here, watch over us and protect us all." They all responded, "Amen."

Before Ennis released Jack's and Junior's hands, he gave them each a squeeze and a smile. The girls looked at each other; they thought they'd Never seen their daddy looking and acting so happy. Not ever.

Bobby had a similar feeling about his daddy, and was amazed that it didn't upset him to know the reason for Jack's happiness. That in fact, he was very okay with it. So Dad, "Love" loves Ennis Del Mar, he thought, correctly. It certainly looks mutual; no one could miss how they look at each other, and Jenny and Junior seem to have known for years. I feel sorta left out.

The talk around the table was lively and specific to their current events.

Ennis had begun the habit of having each person tell something good when they got together. They also discussed their disappointments, hurts or hopes, but during the meal, only good things.

Jenny said her good news was that she sang a solo in the school play this spring. They asked her to sing it for them. She stood up, mentally got into character and sang in her lovely lilting voice, My Wild Irish Rose. They gave her a standing ovation. Ennis walked over to his daughter and hugged her, saying "That was wonderful, darlin', truly wonderful."

On impulse, she said, "okay, everyone sing it with me!" And Ennis began, "My wild Irish rose, the sweetest flower that grows." And the others joined in timidly, but by the next line they were singing with gusto. It brought a lump to his throat, as it had been one of his mother's favorite songs.

Ennis' mother's full name was Elnora Rose McCain. She had always claimed that this Rose song was about her, because she would have preferred being called Rose. Her daddy called her Ellie from Day One though, and it had stuck. If her mother had her way, she'd have been called Nora. So being called Rose was a long shot any way you looked at it.

"I'll be okay as long as she doesn't sing Danny Boy. That song just tears me up." Jack said to Ennis. So, naturally, kids being kids, all three began:

"Oh Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling

From glen to glen, and down the mountain side

The summer's gone and all the roses falling

It's you, it's you must go and I must bide."

That's all of the song they knew, so they dwindled off. Seeing the tears in Jack's eyes they wondered if they'd been too silly and too cruel.

Surprising them all, Jack opened his mouth, and with a strong pure tenor, sang:

But come ye back when summer's in the meadow

At this point, Ennis joined Jack both for moral support, and because he loved this old song too.

Or when the valleys hushed and white with snow

Yes, I'll be here in sunshine or in shadows

Oh Danny Boy, oh Danny Boy, I love you so.

Relentless, they continued to the end.

Yes come ye back when summer's in the meadow

Or when the valleys hushed and white with snow

Yes, I'll be here in sunshine or in shadows

Oh Danny Boy, oh Danny Boy, I love you so.

As soon as Ennis began singing with his dad, Bobby ran to the truck to get Jack's harmonica. Bobby accompanied them for the full third verse. Jenny and Junior joined in to sing the haunting lyrics with Ennis and Jack, too.

When the song was done, there was not a dry eye in the crowd, and that included Edith Clark who had come outside to take her garbage out, and stayed to enjoy the show. She applauded enthusiastically and called out "Bravo!" before going back into her house, and giving them privacy.

To lighten the mood, Ennis got a stack of paper napkins that had been left over from their meal, and handed one to each person to wipe their eyes.

"Well I surely didn't know we had so much talent in our little group, here!" said Ennis. "You've been hiding this voice of yours from me all these years? Why do you think that is, Jack?"

"Don't know, never gave it any thought!" said Jack. "Truth is, I've always loved to sing, just never have much of an opportunity. When Jenny sang My Wild Irish Rose, I purely loved it; and when our wonderful children conspired to sing Danny Boy for me. I couldn't resist any longer."

"Well, I'm glad you couldn't resist, I really enjoyed it. One more thing I didn't know about you, that now I do." smiled Ennis. "And I see Bobby did not inherit your talent with the harmonica. He's really good!"

Bobby didn't know the inside joke, but he enjoyed the compliment.

Ennis asked Bobby what was his favorite thing in school, or out of school and without hesitation, Bobby said "Taking care of our horses, and watching over them."

"Oh good, cause I have two horses up at your Gran's place that will be needing someone to care for them till I get up there on weekends. Would you like to look after Scarlet and Grey for me? They are very sweet and I think you'll like them."

"You can count on me, Mr. Del Mar." said Bobby.

"No more a that, now boy. Mr. Del Mar was my daddy, you just call me Ennis, okay?"

"Okay, Ennis." smiled Bobby. "I'll look forward to meeting Scarlet and Grey."

By this time, Ennis had seen enough of Bobby's personality, and those little differences that were not like Jack's ways, that he no longer felt spooked like he was looking back in time at Jack. He was seeing Bobby as a person in his own right. And for the most part, he liked what he saw.

It was Junior's turn to tell about her good news, and she said that her job was going well, her boss had given her a larger project, she really liked it a lot. Then she said she had been on three dates with Kurt Rawlins and that he seemed very nice. "Can we invite Kurt next time, daddy?"

"Sure, darlin', if you like him, we'll invite him."

"Do you have anything to tell, daddy? What's your good news?"

Ennis just looked at them all quietly, and said, "Jack's here."

He felt guilty in a fatherly kind of way, so he cleared his throat and said "My good news is that each and every one of YOU is here. I wouldn't trade this evening for anything in the world. Not anything."

And they all knew he meant it, but each one thought, We heard you the first time.

As the sun went down, they all gathered dishes and food, and began putting everything back in good order. While Junior, Jenny and Bobby did the dishes and listened to the Top 40 on the radio, the men sat outside and smoked and caught up with each other.

"Jack's here? I sure hope you have told your girls about us, cause the cat's out of the bag now, my love." Jack was elated, but he pretended to be astounded at Ennis for making such a statement.

"I didn't know I was going to say that, Jack, I swear!"

After Jack brought Ennis up to date on his trip to Denver, Ennis asked, "So what you're telling me is you didn't have to ask Lureen for a divorce; she beat you to it? And you didn't have to tell her about us?"

"True, she asked me first, but I did tell her about us. Well, I guess that's not technically true either. When I told her she ought to find what makes her the happiest, that she needed more than what we had in our marriage, I said I'd found What Makes Me Happy. She said, "It's Ennis Del Mar, isn't it?" And I said, "Yes, he is the love of my life."

"How did she know, Jack?"

"Said she heard it in your voice when she called up at the house that day."

"Well, Jack. There it is again. Like Walter said, it's obvious to others how we feel about each other. What about Bobby?"

"I talked to him on the way up here. Told him I love you, but I don't think he gets it yet. Or at least, don't think he did till you said "Jack's here"! Goddamitey, Ennis, I can't believe you said that right out loud." Jack started laughing so hard, he couldn't hardly speak. "Good secret keeper, you turned out to be!" Jack purely loved that Ennis had said that to the kids.

Ennis was laughing too, as surprised at himself as Jack was. "I talked to the girls tonight, too. Didn't think it was anything they could really understand, but I guess now, I've laid it all out there in black and white for them to see."

Just then Jenny approached where Jack and Ennis were sitting in their lawn chairs, talking together. "Daddy, Jack, Can we talk to you both?"

Uh oh, thought Ennis. "Sure, Jen, what about?"

"Just come back to the table, please. The three of us want to talk to you."

Many months later, Ennis would think of this as their first family meeting.

When they were all once again seated around the table, no one spoke. Finally, Ennis asked, "Do you, any of you, have something you want to say or to ask? About anything at all?"

"We do." said Bobby.

"Seems to us," said Jenny looking at Ennis, "that our daddy is happier than we can either one, ever remember."

"And my daddy too, the same." offered Bobby.

"And when you prayed, you said 'This is my family'." added Jenny.

"So what does this really mean for us?" asked Junior.

Feeling relieved, Ennis and Jack looked into each other's eyes with a smile that said they could finally talk about their love to those who mattered the most to them.

"You're all right," said Ennis. "This is the happiest I've ever been because now I have everyone I love, right here together."

"It has taken many years and a lot of patience to get to this point." added Jack. "Our goal has always been to be together as much as possible while still having you kids be with us."

"Yes, it's important to Jack and I that you know that. You, each of you, are what comes first with us."

At this, the three young people stood up together.

"Yes, we do know that, daddy." said Junior.

"But what we want to know, NOW," added Bobby.

"Is whether we are going to be Brother and Sisters." finished Jenny with some urgency.

Ennis and Jack looked at each other for an answer. Both were stunned at the depth of their children's question, and at their insight.

Jack began, "How would you feel about that? Would you like to be?"

Jenny again took charge. "Yes, we would. We talked it over when we was doing the dishes, and we decided."

"Always wished for a brother." claimed Junior.

"Never thought I'd be lucky enough to be part of a real family, and have two sisters." stated Bobby, with a voice choked with unshed tears.

Ennis and Jack could only stare as Jenny took Bobby's hands in hers, then turned to Junior to join them. Standing in a row, hand in hand, the three faced their dad's. "We're old enough to know what we want, and this is it, to be a family."

Ennis came to the group, He took Jenny's face in his hands, turned her up to look in her eyes and said, "Thank you, darlin'." and kissed her cheek, running his thumbs down her face. He said, "I love you, Jenny girl, so, so much."

"I love you, too, daddy." she said.

He next approached Bobby, unsure of what to expect. Ennis offered his hand man to man and Bobby shook it. "I'm proud to have you in my family, son."

With that welcome from Ennis Del Mar warm in his ears, Bobby threw his arms around him just like a little boy, and said "Me too." He held on tight. "I've heard about you all my life; Now I know you too."

Ennis put his hands on Bobby's face and turned it up to look in his eyes. "Thank you, son." he said.

Last, but not least, Ennis took Junior in his arms, rocking her. He said, "My darlin' girl, thank you for what you've done and said here tonight. You are all grown up now, but you'll always be my little girl. Junior, I love you so much."

Ennis and Junior put their foreheads together, they had tears running down their faces. "I love you so much too, daddy, you know I do."

Meanwhile, Jack was so overcome he could hardly breathe. He went to Jenny who looked shyly down at the ground. Taking her hand, he kissed it and called her, "Jenny, my girl." She hugged him and whispered "Thank you for making my daddy happy." Jack reminded her, "That goes both ways, darlin' Jen. He makes me happy too."

Jack took Bobby in a headlock, ruffled up his hair and looking into his face said, "You seem a man, full grown, to me tonight. I'm proud to call you my son. I love you, Bob." Bobby hugged Jack tight, and said, "I love you, Dad."

When Jack approached Junior, she stood tall and met his eyes full on. "What the hell took you so long?" she demanded. "My daddy's been a hollow shell these past few years, living only for his "fishing trips" with you!"

Jack responded, "Well, your old man's a tough nut to crack!"

"Isn't he though!" replied Junior.

And they each laughed so hard, their tears ran freely once again. They hugged tightly and then she made another demand of Jack. "Love him always, and keep him safe, Jack."

"You have my word, Junior, darlin'."

And then she kissed Jack on the cheek. "Okay." she said.

Ennis and Jack were wiped out from all the unexpected support from their children, and overwhelming emotions of the evening. Ennis got a beer for himself and Jack; they sat back in the lawn chairs, but Junior, Jenny and Bobby were energized. They decided to bring the radio outside and dance.

Ennis said, "You still got that tent in your truck?"

"Sure do."

"Well, maybe we could make up my bed for Bobby, and you and I could share that tent again tonight. Sort of brings back old times, whadaya think?"

"Good idea. Was wonderin' what to do about sleeping arrangements." said Jack. But he thought, has it only been 5 weeks ago we slept in that tent?

"Why not let me suggest it to Bobby, see how it goes?" offered Ennis.

"Sure thing, Cowboy."

"Time to get my girls home, you have one more dance and then we'll go." All three of the young folks chorused, "Already!"

Ennis called Bobby inside and explained what was being planned. He walked to the small linen cupboard and pulled out fresh sheets and a pillow case, and handed them to Bobby.

"I've gotta run the girls home, but you and your dad could make up this bed for you, and then he can put up his tent that we always sleep in on our fishing trips. How's that sound? You mind sleeping in a strange place by yourself, Bob?"

"Naw, that's okay, Ennis. Only, couldn't I go along with you to take Jenny and Junior home, and make up the bed when we get back?"

"Yeah, sure, that works just as well. We can all squeeze in the pick up."

"Hey, we could all go in Dad's truck, he's got that crew cab, Okay?"

Ennis laughed, and tenderly pulled Bobby Twist into the crook of his elbow, "Sure, it will be a family affair."

Bobby smiled.


	23. Chapter 23

A Better Idea

Chapter Twenty-Three

Everyone piled into Jack's truck with the intention of taking Junior and Jenny home on this Thursday night when so much had changed.

The kids were singing "Total Eclipse of The Heart" along with the radio and Jack really liked hearing the kids, (their kids) singing together. He was getting choked up and glanced at Ennis who was swallowing greatly to keep under control. The girls and Bobby had just begun to sing "Every Breath You Take" when Ennis reached over to curl his fingers into Jack's.

They didn't speak, but their hands said, _Look at our kids together, love_.

Driving into town, they passed Al's Barbershop and down the block Jack noticed The Dairy Barn on the next corner. Without stating his intentions, he swung into the lot and parked, saying "Hate to delay all you fine folks but my stomach is calling out for some dessert. Listen! Can you hear it? It sounds like it's saying Banana Split! You won't make me eat alone, now would you? Ya'll want the same thing?" Ennis and Junior just wanted a vanilla cone; Jenny joined Jack and had a banana split, while Bobby tucked into a hot fudge sundae deluxe.

Between bites, grinning wickedly, Bobby said to the girls, "If I'm to be a proper brother n' all, shouldn't I be pulling your hair? Or maybe telling everyone in the Dairy Barn that you both have "Cooties"? The girls giggled at that. Seems like most of their friends who had brothers, and most did, complained about them half the time, and secretly bragged on them the other half.

Ennis had been quiet during this conversation, thinking ahead to when they went home with their news, and excitement about a new brother. "Girls, you decide what you want to tell your mama about your new brother, Bobby. But take it easy on her, and don't hurt her feelings, ya hear?"

"Yes daddy, we know." They both said and nodded their heads sincerely.

"Always remember that none a this is her fault." Ennis continued, and then left it in their hands.

Ennis was saying good-bye to the girls at their door. They were repeating the plans they'd made for their next get together. "We're going to invite Kurt, right?" reminded Junior. "You bet." said Ennis, "you do the invitin' when you're ready, okay?"

"Daddy, Bobby has our address and phone number. Said he'd write us a letter." Jenny said.

"That'll be good, little girl. But remember what I said; don't let your mama pull a letter out of the box with that name on it, before you warn her that it's coming."

Something didn't feel right about this to Ennis. "You know what? This is my doin'. I'll talk to her myself. You girls go on in the house now, see you soon, my angels."

Just then Alma came around the side of the house with the garden hose, watering her flowers and humming. "D'I hear my name? Junior, is that you and Jenny? Whose big ol' fancy truck is that? Who brought you girls home?" She was working up a powerful curiosity, verging onto worry, and Ennis could hear it in her voice.

Ennis stepped out of the shadows of the porch where he'd been speaking to the girls, "It's me, Alma. Just bringing the girls home. Say, your flowers are looking right nice this year." he finished.

"Is that your truck, Ennis Del Mar?"

"No, Alma, it's Jack's. We've had a nice dinner together and Jack and Bobby brought us here, with a little stop off at the Dairy Barn. . . . Kin I help you wind up that hose, Alma, and put it away for you? I'd like another minute of your time anyway."

"Okay, sure." she said, a little uneasily.

Calling out to Junior and Jenny, Ennis said "Good night, girls. See you next time. Junior, you go ahead and invite Kurt, if you want. I'm gonna speak to your mama a minute."

They called their good nights to Ennis, and waved to Bobby and Jack in the truck, then went on in the house.

"Wait just a second, Alma. I need to tell Jack I'll be another few minutes."

"Mighty considerate of his feelings, aint'cha?"

"Yes, I am. Just a sec, Alma. Be right back."

When Jack realized what Ennis needed to do he offered to leave. "Bobby n' me'll run down to the Radio Shack over on Main and get some new batteries for the radio. You take your time with Alma, and walk on over there when you're ready." Ennis thought how much he loved this man, who was always willing to make things easier for him if he had it in his power to do so. He reached out and ran his hand down Jack's face and stopped at his lips, where Jack kissed those long Del Mar fingers.

"Thanks." Ennis said to Jack.

Ennis rejoined Alma and took the hose from her hands. "These things is always tricky, don't seem to want to wind back up proper."

"Ennis Del Mar, you didn't come here to talk to me about water hoses, what's on your mind?"

"Well, I just wanted you to know . . . can we sit down over here? . . . wanted you to know that Jack is bringing Bobby to live with him. He and Lureen are gettin' a divorce."

"I should care about this business because . . . .?"

"Because Alma, me and Jack are together. Or, at least, we're trying to work it out to be. And our kids are now together. Like a family."

"Ha! You call that a family?"

"The point is, Alma, the kids call it a family. They've decided that Bobby is their brother, and he is just as determined to have sisters. They are happy to have each other. This is why I wanted to talk to you."

"You're not serious, Ennis!"

"Alma, there will be letters and phone calls, family dinners, picnics, the whole nine yards. I wanted you to know. Didn't want you to be hurt."

Alma began to cry softly, and Ennis took her in his arms and rocked her gently. "Shh, it don't mean nothin' bad, Alma. They just have more people to love now. Two families, stead o'one."

"I don't know why you had to go and love him, Ennis."

"I don't know either, Alma. Who ever knows why we love the one we do? But I do love him with all my heart, so there's no need of us wondering about it."

"It don't seem right, though!"

"Well, that's not for you or anyone else to say. It's nobody's business but our own. Me and Jack's. It seems to us like the only right thing there is."

Ennis continued. "The girls are not choosing me over you or my family over yours. They are just glad to have this settled in their minds. They always knew something was different. Now they know."

"You told them about you and that man? They're just little girls, Ennis!"

"Had to, Alma. Jack's uncle pointed out that we aren't fooling anyone; it's so obvious how we feel about each other. The girls would've known in a instant, seeing us together. I wanted to tell'em myself before that happened. So I told them today. Didn't know when Jack would get back from Denver." He said. "And Jack told Bobby, too." Ennis waited, but no response came.

"You alright?" he asked. Her tears had stopped and she was hiccupping a little, but otherwise seemed calm. She nodded.

"You goin' to be able to handle this? Hearing their names, seeing mail or having phone calls from them?" he asked the mother of his children.

"What choice do I have, Ennis Del Mar? If I could erase all a this from my girls' lives, I would! But I know I can't."

"You're right, Alma. We don't have the power to stop the world from turning and changing, or them from growing up. Won't be long we'll be losin' em to some man or another. They'll be startin' families of their own."

"Did you just come up here to cheer me up, Ennis? Cause it ain't workin'!"

"Didn't want you to get no surprises, Alma. That's all." Ennis murmured.

She began to squirm in his arms, so Ennis released her. Alma turned to look up at him, "Okay. Guess I appreciate that. Thank you, Ennis." she said. "Ain't it time you're gettin' back to your . . . . . . uh, what do you call him? Your boyfriend?"

Ennis laughed soft and low. "I ain't quite worked that one out yet either. We're too old for a boyfriend, but workin' on callin' him my partner, I guess." In his heart Ennis knew without a doubt who Jack is; _Jack is my man._ But he didn't say that to Alma.

"There is one thing I hope, though, Alma. And that is that you can start calling him by his name rather than _that man_. His name is Jack."

Alma looked up at Ennis, started tearing up again, and just shook her head silently. Then she took a deep shuddering breath, "Maybe someday I can."

It didn't take Ennis long to reach Jack's truck up at the shopping center, and finding it empty, he went looking. The Twist men had moved on from the battery section and were playing Pac-man together on a demonstrator model set up for that purpose.

"Can we get one, dad? Can we, please?"

"Maybe next time, Bob. We'll see." He said.

Ennis was hoping that he and Jack could keep Bobby so busy working with the horses, helping to build the porch, getting to know his grandparents, cousins and other sundry relatives, and all the usual ranch work up at Lightning Flat, that he'd soon forget this game.

"Time to hit the hay, gentlemen. I gotta work tomorrow."

Jack intended to bum around town tomorrow, pick up some supplies for the ranch, and pack a nice supper for his and Ennis' return trip to Lightning Flat. They had a long drive after Ennis got off work tomorrow.

The two heavily laden pick-ups were pulled into a scenic overlook just northeast of Ten Sleep. When they left Riverton, the men had planned where they would stop to stretch their legs, and have a bite of supper. By the time they got there, Bobby had been complaining for seventy-five miles that he was starving to death.

His daddy told him, "Bob, you'll live. I don't want to hear no more about it. Ennis has been working all day, and if he can wait, so can you. Did you forget that you had a cheeseburger and a chocolate shake around 2:30 or 3:00 this afternoon, right before Ennis was able to get off work? He must a busted it good this morning to get off so early, don'tcha think?"

Bobby had just stared out the window and glumly responded, "I guess."

Walking around the little rest stop, stretching taut back and leg muscles, they ate roast beef sandwiches, apples and drank cold water from a thermos. They stared at the mountains that were the backdrop for most of their lives. It didn't seem as if Ennis or Jack even saw them anymore, but Bobby was very excited. "Look dad! See all that fallen rock? Sign says it's 3 billion years old." Just then three whitetail deer crossed the road 30 yards ahead of them oblivious to the dangers of passing cars. It was their territory, they seemed to say. Bobby was in awe again, this time his bright eyes were on the deer. There was so much to look at! "_Christ, why didn't I ever bring him up here before?" thought Jack, "What was I thinking of, not to share this with my son?"_

And then he remembered. Ennis. He hadn't wanted to give up one moment of his time with Ennis. Couldn't have stood it, thinking he was within 800 miles of Ennis Del Mar, and not spent every possible minute with him. There was never enough time, never enough.

"You going to gas up at Buffalo, or can you make it to Gillette?" asked Jack.

"I say let's stop at Buffalo, bud. Don't want to chance nothing on this stretch a road. Might top off the tank in Gillette, walk around a bit again."

"Okay by me." said Jack. "Bobby'll no doubt be starving again." They grinned at each other, remembering how it was to be a teenaged boy.

They each found a convenient tree or bush, relieved their bladders and got back in the trucks. Bobby hesitated at Jack's driver window, and said "Can I ride with Ennis awhile, dad?"

"Sure if he wants company, you can. Ask him first, though." said Jack.

Ennis was agreeable, and Bobby hopped in the old truck, such a far cry from his daddy's fancy rig. He was fidgeting and eyeing everything on the dash. Ennis let him be. Let him look around and get the feel of it. Finally, Bobby settled in and asked, "You want some coffee now, Ennis?"

"B'lieve I would, Bob. Think you can pour it into the cup for me?"

"Sure, Ennis. Daddy let me pour it in your thermos this afternoon. He brewed your coffee just like you like it. Real strong. Daddy said it would help to keep you awake driving. He said you work real hard, Ennis. Would need a good strong drink of coffee tonight on the road."

"Your daddy said that? Well, just a half cup right now, Bobby. Okay?"

"Oh shit!" said Bobby as the hot coffee dribbled down his hand. "Guess it's harder'n I thought, pouring coffee on a bumpy road, huh, Ennis?"?

"Guess so, son. Your hand all right? Oh, thank you."

"Yeah, I'm okay." Bobby said, embarrassed that Ennis had seen him spill the coffee.

"Did you play any sports in school, Bobby?"

"Yeah, baseball. I like third base or short stop. Got a letter in it the last two years. You, Ennis?"

"No, never got past my first year in high school. See, I had to quit and go to work. Woulda liked to play baseball though. Wanted to pitch. Ya know? I was fairly good at it in the Colt Leagues, that's fourteen and under."

"Why'dja hafta go to work so young, Ennis? That don't seem right."

"No, it weren't right, Bob. Just the way it was. My folks got killed in a car accident when I was thirteen. Me and my brother and sister didn't have no one to take care of us. We all had to find work."

"Aww, Ennis, I'm sorry. Your mama and daddy both at the same time?" sympathized Bobby.

"Yeah, that's the way it happened. Quite a shock to us kids, I can tell you. But, see Bob, we all survived, took care of ourselves and grew up okay. It all worked out."

Bobby was beside himself with grief, thinking of the boy Ennis, younger than he himself is now, losing both of his parents. He just wanted to hug him, but the man was driving, and it would be awkward to try to get his arms around him. He settled for patting him on the back, up around his right shoulder. Ennis turned warm brown eyes on Bobby, and reached over and took his hand for a moment. Just a short clasp, and then release. Before he realized what he was doing, Ennis curled his fingers and ran them down the side of Bobby's face, just like he did with his own kids. Ennis thought, _He's just like his dad, such a caring boy._ At that moment, Ennis' heart expanded to make room for one more person in his life.

Seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Claire Twist was there, for sure.

"Your dad packed enough food for an army, Bobby. How about rustling around in that box, see if you can find me an apple. You want one, too?"

Munching on the fruit, Bobby asked Ennis to tell him a little bit about Scarlet and Grey.

"Well, they'd like to share these apples, I can tell you that." laughed Ennis.

"They are both around three years old. Was sired by the same stallion, on the same ranch, so they grew up together. I bought them both, cause I didn't think they should be separated. It's awful to be separated from those you love best."

"They are brothers, Ennis?"

"Well, Grey is. Scarlet's a filly."

"I can't wait to meet them, Ennis, and let them get to know me."

"I know they'll like you just fine, Bobby. You got a nice gentle way about you. Won't be too much longer now, but by the time we get up there, you might be sleeping. So I wouldn't think you'd see them until tomorrow morning, Bob."

"Can I help feed them in the morning, Ennis?"

"Yes, Bobby, if you're sure you want to. "

"Oh, I do, Ennis!"

"Okay, I'll get you up early, if you ain't already up and at'em." he grinned.

Bobby leaned against the passenger window and watched the landscape along I90 slide by at breakneck speed. _He said I got a gentle way about me_, thought Bobby.

This was turning out to be an alright day.

Soon they were nearing Gillette. They turned to the north on 16/14 where they found a Farmers Cooperative Assn. gas station with a nice convenience store, and most importantly, clean restrooms. It was good to have running water. They scrubbed their faces and necks with cold water, finger combed their hair, and felt almost human. Even though they knew the going got a lot rougher from here on, they decided they could make it the rest of the way up to Lightning Flat tonight.

"You call your mama and tell her we're coming back tonight, bud?" Ennis tenderly asked Jack when no other customers were nearby.

"Yeah, I did. She sure was happy to hear that! Looking forward to seeing Bobby and you, she may even have a hug leftover for me." he teased. "I tell you what, Ennis Del Mar, I sure wish we were in the same truck tonight."

Ennis gave a loving look to his man. "We may not be driving up in the same vehicle, but we're ending up in the same bed tonight, Jack Twist. Oh you did tell her that she didn't need to switch any bedrooms, didn't you? Save her the trouble?"

"Yes, briefly, I told her that we told our kids that we are together, and that you clinched it with your good news, "Jack's here." Since Jack can't hide his pleasure remembering this announcement, he grins from ear to ear, and wants to kiss Ennis so bad, it's almost an ache. Ennis just blushes once more.

The messages they are sending with their eyes, could heat up the whole town of Gillette, Wyoming on a cold January night. Bobby has turned from the candy counter with his hands full, but stops when he catches sight of Ennis and daddy. He thinks they are almost glowing_. Is this what love looks like_? He wonders.

Jack and Ennis see Bobby approaching, and shake themselves loose from their rapture.

It's time to hit the road for one last stretch, much of it gravel, but still a fine road. Well maintained. Bobby hands out what he's picked up at the candy counter. "Here dad, a bag of Peanut M Ennis, one for you too." So they got in the trucks again, refreshed and ready to go home. Bobby jumped in with Jack for this last bit, and Ennis felt his absence keenly.

It's full dark now, so Jack leads the way, and Ennis follows behind. Jack put Bobby on sign patrol. "Your mission, should you choose to accept it, Mr. Twist, is to watch for highway 59 off to the north and east." Jack told Bobby "That's on your side of the truck, and going off to the right. Got it?" Bobby responded seriously "Got it, Mr. Twist, and I accept the challenge."

Actually, the turn-off was marked, but the sign was small. Jack knew where it was from years of practice. By the time Bobby spied it, they would have been past it, but Jack was prepared. He had his blinker on for Ennis' sake a good ways back from the turn.

One more time they had to look for the turn off to the north and east, and this time, there was just a tiny sign that said "Rocky Point". Now they could hear the gravel under the tires of the truck. In daylight Bobby would have been able to see that it was terra cotta colored crushed granite.

Bobby was reading whatever signs were out there on this desolate road now, and he read "Free Range Cattle; what does that mean dad?" Just then Jack started chuckling, and said "Look up the road Bobby."

It looked like a Moo-nlight meeting had been called. Eight cows were standing right in the middle of the road, and a couple of calves were frolicking (there was no other word for it) along the edge of the road; looked like they were playing Chicken with the trucks, or maybe they were playing Tag with the other calves.

"Free Range means no fences, Bob." explained Jack. What do you think of that?

"Cool Beans!" cried Bobby.

Jack was finding tears in his eyes again as he laughed, _wait till Ennis hears that expression,_ he thought, _Cowboy will have something to say about that_.

Claire climbed to Jack's room, which would now be Bobby's and saw the headlights approaching across the countryside. She sighed a huge sigh of relief that they were safe and almost here. From this height there was nothing between the house and the road to impede her view. On the ground floor she would have had to see through a couple of outbuildings, several lilac bushes and some hollyhocks. She had learned this trick, of coming to Jack's room for a better view long ago when she waited up for her only son to return home safely.

She hurried downstairs to warm up the coffee and the light supper she had prepared for her boys. Her little family was growing, and Claire was happy.

Friday, June 3, 1983 turned out to be a red-letter day for Claire Twist.

There was no way Claire could have prepared herself for this. It hadn't occurred to her that her grandson Bobby would be the spittin' image o'Jack. Well, how could she not love a boy who looks like her beloved only child?

As predicted, Claire had hugs all around, and an especially tight one for Ennis Del Mar, the son of her heart. When she met Bobby, he was taller and older than she had expected. She had always thought of him as a child; this boy was quickly leaving childhood behind. She asked him to call her Gran.

When they'd brought their bags in and washed up, she herded them to the table for scrambled eggs, toast and sliced tomatoes. She had poured a big glass of milk for Bobby, and coffee for Ennis and Jack. With everyone seated, Claire reached out to take Jack's and Ennis' hands, and looked at them expectantly. Bobby grabbed on to both of their hands and with a huge smile, said "Ennis told us he learned this from you, Gran."

Claire gave a little smile, dropped her eyes, then her head and began to send up a prayer of thanks for the food they were about to receive, and all those around her table having arrived safely this night. She kept it short, but it was heartfelt. All said, "Amen."

They were not ravenously hungry, but this was the first hot meal of this busy day, so it nourished them, and made them feel whole again. When they were done, Ennis refused to allow Claire to wash the dishes, "You go visit with your new grandson, and I don't want to hear any argument on the subject." he said authoritatively, then he smiled at her, and she nodded in agreement. "Thank you my darlin' boy." she told him.

With his hands in the warm, sudsy water, and the murmuring voices of the Twist family behind him, Ennis decided he could go to sleep right there in the kitchen. Jack walked into the kitchen and put his arms around Ennis at the sink, squeezing loosely but possessively, and gave him a sweet kiss on his neck. Then he patted him on the butt and returned to his mother and son at the table. Ennis made quick work of their few dishes, and wiped off the table. "Okay if I take a shower right now?" he asked. "Anybody want in there, first?"

Given the all-clear, Ennis got his pajama pants and tooth brush out of his duffel, and took over the bathroom. Claire had already put towels in for all the boys to use, Ennis knew her habits by now. Within ten minutes he was brushing his teeth, and his eyes were closing, he was shutting down for the day. "See you all in the morning." he said drowsily, then stepped up on the first step.

"I'll be right behind you, darlin'." said Jack.

"Don't forget to wake me up to help feed Scarlet and Grey." said Bobby.

"Good night, Ennis. Sleep well, son." said Claire.

Claire said she was ready to call it a day, as well. She suggested with a yawn that Jack take Bobby up to his old room and get him settled in. They all said their good nights, brushed teeth, and ended one very long day.

Jack guessed that Bobby would soon be too tall for that little bed, but he could make do for a few days. They'd have to figure out what to do later. He told Bobby that he and Ennis would be right across the hall, and pointed out their door. "You may want a night light in case you have to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, son. Let me see what I can find." Sure enough, there was one in the outlet, and Jack turned it on for him. "Anything else you need before I hit the hay?" Jack yawned with all his might, and said "Well, good night then. Sleep tight." Then he walked over, wrapped an arm around his shoulder and kissed Bobby on the forehead.

As Jack walked towards the door to leave, Bobby asked, "Dad, don't you think I'm too old for good night kisses by now?"

"No, you ain't. And don't you plan on gettin' too old for'em either."

He quietly closed Bobby's door and tiptoed across the hall so as not to wake Ennis. As soon as he could shuck his clothes he was under the covers, spooned up behind Ennis with an arm draped over his hip. Jack let the contentment of being in contact with his man's skin float over him. That's the last thing he remembered till morning.


	24. Chapter 24

A Better Idea

Author Note: At times I've used complete dialog sentences, or phrase fragments directly from the movie, Brokeback Mountain in my story, A Better Idea. These characters and their words do not belong to me, nor does the short story, screenplay, or movie. I reap no rewards beyond the pleasure of knowing about them.

In chapter 24, I further intrude into the lives of the actors, by taking a line directly from Heath Ledger while he was speaking on the Oprah show. Again I receive no money for any of it, and I'm merely showing my admiration for him, and the statement he made. I've italicized the quote. Hope Heath will not mind my repeating it here in the voice of Ennis Del Mar.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Saturday morning dawned drizzly, warm and damp. After the late night they had on Friday, they all expected to sleep in. Even so, around 5 a.m. Ennis felt a hand glide caressingly from ear to neck, to chest, to . . . wherever. He welcomed the touches from his man, and couldn't resist stretching and looking forward to whatever came next. Ennis drew Jack's hand up from his newly aroused erection, and kissed his palm, and then each finger tip. He could feel Jack's excitement begin to press against his hip.

"Well, good morning to you, too, darlin'." he murmured, turning over to face Jack. "Are you really here in bed with me, or am I having one a my favorite dreams?"

Jack leaned in for a warm, sweet kiss; he let his tongue graze across Ennis' lower lip and then lightly nipped it between his teeth. "Does that answer your question, sweetheart?"

"Uh, no. That's exactly what would happen in my dream." At that, Ennis said, "Guess you need to pinch me, to see if I'm really here."

Jack decided he had a better idea. "No, Del Mar, this is a dream you're havin', just close your eyes and go with it." He then moved down in the bed with an obvious agenda. He tugged on Ennis' pj bottoms, and his Cowboy lifted his hips up off the bed to let Jack pull them all the way off him. At the first touch of Jack's tongue, Ennis moaned his man's name aloud. He gave himself up to the pleasure of Jack's hands and mouth, before flipping around to give while he received. The lovers still ignited the same old fires in each other with their bodies and their words.

The morning progressed in the satisfying sensual way they had developed over their twenty years together. The heat they shared had not diminished, nor had the knowledge of how lucky they were to have found each other.

Today, though there was a new depth to that appreciation. Having the love and the raw need for each other was glorious still; but sharing this house with people who offered unconditional acceptance and the freedom to blend their everyday lives together was something they had never dared to dream.

Ennis lay back against the headboard, Jack in his arms. He brushed the hair off Jack's forehead, and kissed his temple. The sweat from this morning's exertions was slowly drying, and they were resuming normal breathing. Jack snuggled closer and wrapped his arms tightly around Ennis' chest. Recalling another morning in this room not so long ago, Ennis asked, "Has anyone seen your new key chain, bud? Anybody said anything about it?" He reached down and pulled a sheet up over them as they cooled.

"Lureen saw it in Denver when Bobby and I were getting ready to leave the hotel. Said that was real sweet. I think she meant it." Jack continued, "I think my dad noticed it last week when mama and I were fixin' to leave his hospital room. But he didn't say nothin'. Just looked kinda funny."

"Funny, Ha Ha, or Funny Strange?"

"I'm not really sure. Kinda thoughtful maybe." replied Jack. "I guess if he saw it, we'll find out soon enough. My dad was never one to hold back."

"I know this is my last full day to be here with you before he comes home. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I've heard so much about your dad, bud."

"YOU'RE not sure, how do you think I feel? Growing up with him the way he was? It will be strange, knowing what I know now about how much he loved me, before he was attacked. I'm telling you, Ennis, I'm not looking forward to him coming back here. It's felt so good with just mama here; her being so loving and accepting, like she is. You know?"

"I know, darlin', ain't no one like your mama, in my book." Ennis agreed. "But somethin' we've come to know; each day we're together will be worth it, and neither one a us ever expected it would be easy."

Ennis tightened his hold on Jack, and said, "You want some coffee, darlin'? I'm 'bout ready to face this day. You?" At Jack's nod, they began the process of untangling their arms and legs for a little while. Still naked, Ennis walked over to look out the window to check the sky. "I don't know, Jack, this could be one a those times when the clouds never clear off, just hang there drippin' all the livelong day."

Jack just smiled while putting on his tee shirt. He suggested that Ennis walk around some more and check out all the other windows, might see something different. "I never seen any other weather man I enjoyed watchin' more than you, Del Mar." Ennis gave Jack that look that told him he still thought he was plumb crazy, and started getting into his jeans and boots.

A knock on their door surprised them, no one had ever . . . oh yeah. Jack opened the door to admit Bobby, who was tucking his shirt in and looking eager to start the day. He was ready to feed Scarlet and Grey, and just see whatever might happen on a Saturday in Lightning Flat, Wyoming. "Mornin' dad, Ennis." he glowed.

Jack felt like his cup runneth over; having his man and his son both here was such a welcome change. His chest expanded with a deep sigh of satisfaction.

"Come on in. Sleep well, Bob?"

"Are you kiddin' dad? I was out like a light as soon as my head hit the pillow. Didn't know till I woke this morning that I was sleeping on sticks and stones."

"That bad, eh? Well, son, hang in there awhile yet. We'll figure out what to do about that bed. It was meant for a kid, and you ain't hardly one no more."

Bobby smiled at the acknowledgement of his newfound maturity, and nodded his head. "Sure, dad. No rush."

Ennis and Jack finished making their bed.

"I do believe I smell coffee, and something else that's making my mouth water. Let's go see what Gran has in store for us this morning."

Claire had heard her boys stirring around up there for quite awhile, and when she looked up the stairway intending to call them to "come eat while it's hot" she was treated to a sight she had thought she'd never see in her lifetime. Her grandson, her son, and his fella were coming down the stairs to begin their day in her home. She dipped her head, and quickly walked to the oven, wiping her eyes on the tail of her apron. It didn't do any good to try to hide them, her feelings were apparent across her luminous face.

They each took a turn in the bathroom, getting washed up, brushing teeth and starting their day. On the way to the table, Jack gave Claire a one-arm hug and said, "good mornin', mama." He grabbed the coffee pot and poured for all of them except Bobby. For Bobby he poured a large glass of milk.

Bobby had said, "Mornin' Gran." as soon as he came down the stairs, and directed a dazzling smile at her.

Ennis, happy but undecided still about what he wanted to call her, said "good morning, ma'am, something sure smells good down here."

They held each other's hands and bowed their heads in thankfulness and reverence. They took a moment to dwell on the specialness of this morning.

This first day was a new beginning in the way their lives would be. Content together, they ate and drank and made plans for the day. 

Jack and Ennis took their second cups of coffee into the barn, where they introduced Bobby to Scarlet, Grey and to Buck, Jack's dad's sorrel. They showed him where they kept the feed, and everything else he'd need. Jack, Ennis and Bobby each mucked out a stall and put in fresh straw. The horses were given fresh food and water.

Bobby saw that Ennis talked to the horses constantly, softly murmuring, touching them, nuzzling their faces, running his hands over their flanks and also checking each of the horse's shoes. _No wonder dad told me to watch Ennis with the horses. He's thorough, professional, but so gentle that each horse remains calm no matter what Ennis does to them._

Bobby Twist, junior horseman, breathed in their faces and gently rubbed each horse with his bare hands to let them begin to know his own scent.

When Bobby finished and turned around, dad and Ennis were talking about the sorrel. "I don't really know where it came from, but every horse dad has ever had, was named Buck." Ennis gave a questioning look, but guessed that it saved him from remembering a new name every twenty-five years or so.

"I plan to have me a horse a my own soon as I get settled. An' I know what I'm gonna call him too." said Jack.

Ennis lifted one eyebrow and looked questioningly at Jack. "Ya do, huh?"

"Signal." said Jack.

"Signal?" Ennis repeated, still looking at Jack with a sidelong glance.

"Yes, Ennis, Signal. Like where we met."

Ennis just ducked his head, and smiled under his hat, giving nothing away.

They walked around showing Bobby the corrals and pens, and other close-in parts of the ranch. "Later, Bobby, after you see your grandpa at the hospital, we'll exercise the horses; ride out, and see the rest of the ranch."

Ennis was waiting with Jack and Bobby, while Claire got ready to go to the hospital. Jack asked Bobby, "What did your mama have to say when you called her last night?"

"She sure was glad I called even though it was late, dad. Her and gramma was waiting up for me. She said she'd call you on Sunday night at nine as usual, but that things were going real well. She sounded real happy. She said I did too. Said I sounded tired, but happy. They may stay in Denver an extra few days, so she'll probably call you from there, not from Childress." Jack was relieved about what Bobby told him, and just nodded his head at the news.

"You have a new experience coming this morning, Bobby. Your grandpa is pretty unpredictable, so don't know how he'll act when we bring you in to his hospital room, but Gran has told him you're comin' today. I'll be right there beside you, so don't worry about him none." Bobby couldn't imagine why such a fuss was necessary, he was meeting his dad's father wasn't he? Sounded like that should be fine. "Okay, dad."

Bobby asked Ennis if they could go back to see Scarlet and Grey while they were waiting for Gran. He grabbed a few of the apples that his dad had packed and took them with him to the three horses' stalls. He gave each one an apple and petted them while they munched the treat. Ennis liked what he saw in the boy's manner. He would do fine.

"How do you feel about my grandpa, Ennis? He nice to you?"

"Tell you the truth, Bob, I ain't met him yet. We're saving Me till we get him here in his own home, feel more comfortable about the idea a me bein' here 'n all. 'Course he knows I'm here. Walter's been filling him in ever since I started coming up here last month. See Bob, you ain't the only one that's been hearing about me for years. He ain't been happy about it, so we don't know how he'll react. You see what I mean?"

"Well, if you're a good person, and you make his son happy that should be plenty good enough for him, though. Right?"

"No, in many cases it ain't like that at all_. I don't know, I still find it personally, disappointing that people kind of go out of their way to voice their disgust or their opinions against the ways that two people choose to love one another. _Some folks get mighty riled up and even violent about anything they consider to be wrong."

"Well that don't make sense." stated Bobby. "Ennis that's just stupid thinking. How could loving someone ever be wrong?"

"I don't think it can, Bobby. Some also think that if two men love one another, and try to build a life together that they're against Family Values. What do you think about that?"

"Aww Ennis. I've never known such family values till I met you and your girls. You, dad, me, Jenny and Junior; in my opinion, that's a family." Bobby had been leaning against a hay bale, and he pounded his fist down on the straw, "My grandpa better not try to say anything bad about our family."

Ennis ran his hand over Bobby's hair, pushing it off his forehead, and ruffling it up some. "Come on Bobby, you'll be leavin' for the hospital soon. It's good you won't be taken by surprise by anything your grandpa says or does."

Claire had taken a few minutes to pack John a breakfast biscuit again. He still looked awful thin to her, and that hospital food didn't hold no appeal whatsoever. Once she had it wrapped, they piled into Jack's truck and left for the hospital leaving Ennis to his chores.

He began by stepping off the dimensions of the porch he was planning, and put stakes in the ground, outlining it with string. He had lifted the first shovelful of dirt when Walter and Kenneth drove up in the Ford. They waved at Ennis, and he returned the wave. "You just missed them by one minute." he called to the men.

"That's alright, we passed them on the lane just now. We came to see you anyway." said Walter. "Jack get all his business handled down in Childress?"

Ennis laughed. "He sure did, But I'll let him tell you all about it."

Ennis reached his right hand over to Kenneth and said, "Ennis Del Mar, pleased to meet you." then he waited for the other man to acknowledge who he might be. "Oh, I'm sorry Ennis, this is my oldest son." said Walter.

Kenneth looked at Ennis, smiled and shook hands. "Kenneth Bell, heard a lot about you Del Mar. 'Cording to my dad, here, you hung the moon."

Ennis just shook his head at that. "What can I do for you gentlemen?"

"Well, it's not exactly what you can do for us, but what we might be able to do for you, Ennis. And the Twist family too, of course."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, you ever hear of a barn-raising, Ennis?"

"Sure, who's needin' a barn to be raised?"

"Well, seems like you're planning a new porch here, and I believe that's a right generous undertaking. We'd like to help, if you don't mind."

Ennis beamed his brightest smile. If Walter and Kenneth pitched in they could get the porch built in half the time, he knew. "Thank you, that'll speed things up considerably." he said.

"No, I don't think you realize what I'm saying Del Mar. Kenneth, explain some of our plan to Ennis here and see if he still likes it."

Kenneth, being his father's son, expanded greatly on the topic. "See, Rachel, that's my wife, and I have three kids, and my brother Roger, and his wife, Patsy have four. All able-bodied workers."

Ennis began to get it, and smiled in earnest now. "Wow." was all he said. But he was thinking _I sure wish Junior and Jenny could be here to witness this_.

"What?" asked Walter, seeing the wistful look on Ennis' face.

"Oh, nothing, sir. I was just regretting that my daughters can't be here to take part in this, and see this family in action. I know they'd dearly love it,"

"Where are they, Ennis? Riverton?"

"Yes." he replied dismally.

"That's too bad. That's a long way off. Hey, you remember that Winston Chambers I introduced you to at the Cattlemen's? He say he had a cousin in Riverton? Your kids know him? What was the name? Tom Higgins?"

"No sir, my girls don't know Tom at all. I just know his wife, Linda. I guess it can't be helped, but I wish there was a way . . ." Ennis' voice drifted off. " If they drove up here, even if they started right this minute, it'd be time to turn around and go back once they arrived. It was a good thought, but it's just not practical. We'll have to plan for them to come another time."

"Uh, dad? Can I speak to you a minute?" asked Kenneth. As Kenneth spoke quietly into Walter's ear, the older man began to smile and by the time he was finished, had a merry twinkle in his eye. "You think that'll work, dad?"

"Yeah, yeah, I sure do. Why don't you go make a phone call, see if he's free."

While Kenneth used the Twist's phone, Walter filled Ennis in on the idea. "Kenneth had to remind me, but his wife's brother, Mauro, is a pilot for the state of Wyoming. He's on call to transport civic leaders, the governor, whoever needs to get from place to place quickly, and he owns the plane. He's on contract with the state, but in his free time he can do anything he likes, go where he likes. Kenny's just calling to see if he's available today."

Just then Kenneth stepped outside the door and gave the thumb's up to his dad. "Well Del Mar, the next step is yours. Want to call your girls and see if they are free as well?"

Bravely ignoring the butterflies in his stomach, Ennis called Alma. "Alma, are the girls home? I was hoping to talk to them, maybe invite them to a doings up here at Lightning Flat. Uh yeah, right now. They'd be flying up here. Yeah? Okay, let me talk to whoever's the closest."

His heart racing, Ennis talked to Jenny (who was Gung-Ho) and Junior who was excited but nervous, and they agreed to come. "Pack a tooth brush, overnight stuff, a jacket, and a change of clothes, bring work clothes, it's a barn raising. Okay? No, Bobby doesn't even know yet, he's at the hospital seeing his grandpa; we're putting this idea together right this minute!"

9 a.m. at the Twist's house saw a flurry of activity and phone calls. Mauro was given the girls' phone numbers, and they his. He would meet them at the Riverton airport in one hour. In that time, he'd have to file a flight plan, fuel the plane, check it out, and meet his newest young passengers!

_Oh my heavens_, thought Ennis. _They might actually be here before Jack, Bobby and Mom get back from the hospital! This is the wildest thing I ever been a part of. _

Ennis knew he had thought "Mom" and let his ear hear it again, trying it out.

The original plan that Walter and Kenneth came to propose was to get all the kids and grandkids together this morning, help Ennis dig the footer, and pour it. Then allow it to dry and all build the porch tomorrow. Footers need to be below the freeze line so it will have to be at least 5 feet deep for up here at Lightning Flat. Ennis was surprised by the depth needed, but good to know.

Within thirty minutes, there was more activity around him than a bee-hive. Each of the kids had an assigned task: either digging, locating concrete bags where the post would be, sorting out the premium galvanized steel 6" post bases, placing the wire mesh and re-bar with the bags of concrete. Walter hooked up the water hose and brought it over to the area.

Ennis kept checking his watch, "where do we need to go to pick up Mauro and the girls?" he asked Ken. "What time should we leave?" Just then, Kelly, Kenneth's oldest, looked up and smiled. "Here they are!" She pointed to the sky and there Ennis saw a very tiny airplane circling high overhead.

Kenneth stepped over to Ennis and explained. My wife's family is very close-knit, so whether we wanted to or not, we had to put in a landing strip. Rachel and Mauro get together at least once a month. Their siblings, Andrew and Mary make it about half the time, as well. "Get your truck and follow me, Ennis. Ill probably just take Mauro and his wife Jennifer right on over to my place, and you can bring your girls back here. Did you say they are Junior and Jenny?" Ennis smiled and nodded.

Alone with his thoughts as they jounced across the pasture toward Ken's place, Ennis thought how this was the perfect way to travel across these desolate miles and miles of Wyoming. Just hop in a plane; amazing.

Meanwhile, back at the Bell ranch, Rachel, Patsy and Iris had been cooking, baking, slicing, and dicing since early morn. They knew what Walter and Kenneth had up their sleeves. So they had gotten an early start. Cakes and pies lined every surface. There were two dozen eggs cooling on the counter for deviled eggs, there were dinner rolls rising in pans next to the oven. Potato salad was assembled, ready to be cooled. A large jello mold was set. The pot of green beans was seasoned with bacon and onion. And for nibbling, two trays of carrots, celery, cauliflower, broccoli, olives and bell peppers.

Each of their kitchens smelled of roasting meats. Iris had a 28 pound turkey ready to carve, Rachel had slow baked a 15 pound brisket, Patsy made a 7 pound meat loaf basted in tomato gravy, and a 15 x 12 pan of macaroni and cheese, which was getting bubbly brown on top right now. Potatoes were bubbling in a pot of water, and there was corn to be shucked and cleaned.

Walter was always like this when he decided to throw a party, mused his wife, Iris. He jumped right in inviting people, the more the merrier. He knew she would follow his lead and make sure the food was there, and that people would have a good time and a place to sit down. She smiled at how her husband still seemed to love any good reason to hold a big Extravaganza.

At the end of the landing strip, Mauro was doing the last check on the plane before shutting it down. Ennis and Ken drove right up to the plane. Jenny saw him first, then Junior, and they climbed out of the plane and ran calling "Daddy, oh daddy! It was wonderful, we saw so many mountains, and we saw an eagle, a herd of antelope, and lots of bighorn sheep, and there was a . . ."

"Whoa, whoa, little ones." Ennis hugged them hello, and could not help being elated to see them here, but wanted them to wait at least a few minutes before knocking him over with their enthusiasm. "Girls, let me go speak to the pilot a minute." Ennis climbed up to the cockpit and peered in. "Hey, Mauro? I'm Ennis, the daddy o those wild-eyed girls. I hope they wasn't no trouble for you, and that they remembered to mind their manners." Ennis wanted to pay him for the transport, but Mauro said that it had been a good excuse to come visit his family, and he was grateful for the chance.

"Ennis, it's good to meet you. They were great. They were interested in everything. But first, I need to run through this final check list. . . "

"Can I help you? Or at least watch? I've never been in a plane before, but I sure am interested in seeing how you do it." So Ennis stayed for the check out, and had eyes for everything on the instrument panel.

Jennifer had set the wheel chocks, then lashed the tie-downs set in the concrete of the landing strip. She said hello to Ennis and told him his girls were delightful.

Kenneth took Mauro and Jennifer to his place to get settled, and Ennis brought the girls back to the Twist's place, just as Jack, Bobby and Mrs. Twist drove into the lane_. I have so much to tell them, but want to hear their news first, _Ennis thought

He was unable to tell from their expressions, how things had gone at the hospital. They drove up to this wild and unexpected sight of so many nieces and nephews working in front of their house, their faces reflecting the surprise_. And there's Walter in the thick of things_, thought Jack_, he's mixing concrete in a wheel barrow with a hoe._

Bobby spied Junior and Jenny, and was beside himself in joyous recognition. The kids were introduced to all the other teens by Walter, and they felt they'd never remember all of the names, not today or ever. It was time for the last two post holes. Walter summoned them, "Twist and Del Mar kids, get your work clothes on pronto, we saved these last two posts for you. My wife has called and wants us to come to lunch in 15 minutes, so get a move on! Chop chop!" Uncle Walter was in his glory as Ring Master.

Ennis was tickled to see his girls pouring the concrete, setting in the re-bar and leveling it, checking and re-checking. He left Jack there to watch them while he went to find Mrs. Twist. She was slicing a plate of cheddar cheese to take over to Iris' or Kenneth's, wherever the gathering was to be. He asked if he could speak with her privately for a moment.

Looking concerned, she drew him into the parlor where she indicated for him to sit down on the sofa. She sat, and he turned and took her hand. I'd like to ask you a favor, well, two favors, if I might. Claire nodded inquiringly at him. Then he began. "Well, ma'm I've been wondering and thinking what I wanted to call you, and what you might want me to call you. Do you have a preference?"

"No Ennis, just something you'd be comfortable with. Have you thought of something?"

"Yes, I think I have. It feels right to me. But I don't want to presume that you'll accept it from me."

"And what might that be, my boy?"

"Mom. It's mom, I'd like to call you my mom. If that's okay. It's not what I called my own mother, so it's a name just for you. What do you think?"

Claire had dropped her face to hide her tear-filled eyes. But when he asked what she thought about the name, she looked straight into his face. "Oh Ennis, I like it. Please do call me your mom, son." She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him to her. "Thank you." he said. "Thank you, Mom." Later tonight, when he had time to think on this, he would surely cry for the happiness of having a new mom, and for the one he still missed.

"That was the first favor, now for the second."

"Okay?" she said.

"My girls are outside and I'd . . "

"What?" she asked. "Who is?"

"My girls, Junior and Jenny. And I'd like to introduce you to them. What should they call you?"

"Of course, bring them in to meet me, but how did they get here, Ennis?"

"Oh Walter and Kenneth pulled a rabbit out of a hat, tell you later, goin' a get the girls right now!"

Ennis proudly guided the girls into the parlor where Mrs. Twist still sat on the sofa. She held out her hands to them, and they approached her timidly.

First taking both of Jenny's hands in hers, she said, "Hello, I am Claire Twist, Jack's mother." At that introduction, full recognition lit their eyes.

"I'm Jenny Del Mar."

"And I'm Alma Junior . . please just call me Junior, everybody does."

"Welcome. You girls are to call me Gran, just like Bobby does, Okay? I'm so very happy to meet you both. Your daddy is a fine, fine man, you know."

They blushed and nodded their heads; completely charmed by her.

Jenny would have filled her in on the entire morning's adventure but they all had too much to do before leaving for lunch, so the girls and their Gran agreed they'd save their story until they returned home from the party. When my brother, Walter, sets his mind to having a party, we all just go along with it. Let's go to a party!

They answered the summons: The Twist/Del Mar family pushed together in Jack's pick-up for the ride over to Iris and Walter's house. Claire happily sat in the front seat between Jack and Ennis. The three kids scrunched together in the back, crew seat.

Every one of them felt their head spin from all this change in the past two days, it was a lot to take in. But it felt good; it felt right to each of them.

Claire Twist introduced her grandson and new granddaughters to the entire adult population, leaving the younger generation to figure it out on their own. Of course, Mauro and Jennifer already knew the girls, but they hadn't met Bobby. It was a bit raggle-taggle, but eventually everyone knew everyone. And by then they were all stuffed, and it was time for dessert. Walter announced that after early church services in the morning, everyone should meet at the Twist house to erect the porch proper. Say 10:30 a.m. Then tomorrow around two o'clock, depending on how the porch is coming along, we'll have our supper meal here for all the porch builders.

"If we run out of time or daylight, we'll not paint the porch, we'll leave that for Bobby, Jack and Ennis to take care of when they have time. That's all I have on that score. Here pass the pies. Cake, anyone? When you see the one you want, take a big slice.

Okay, here ya go."

Bobby and Jenny locked eyes, and Jenny nodded, ever so slightly. They got up and came together, facing as many of the crowd as was possible. Bobby began, "Uh, folks, can I have your attention?"

Jack and Ennis caught each other's eyes across the room, and shrugged. Neither one knew what those kids were up to.

Bobby began, "Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?"

Of course, every kid in the crowd began hooting and hollering at that.

Undeterred, he called in a louder voice, "Ahem! When our family gets together" and he stopped and swung his eyes over Jack, Ennis, and the girls, "we usually finish the evening with a song or two." Groaning teens, "Oh no!"

"We take requests, who has a song that they want everyone to sing?" Yells and silliness prevail until Bobby says, "Okay, we're going to try Willie Nelson's, You Are Always On My Mind. You all know that one, right? He looked at Jenny for her to lead them off. She gestured for Junior to come up and lend support as well with her fine alto voice.

Always On My Mind

Maybe I didn't love you

Quite as often as I could have

Maybe I didn't treat you

Quite as good as I should have

If I made you feel second best

Girl I'm sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind

You were always on my mind

At first it was just Jenny with Junior and Bobby tagging along a beat behind, but when it came to the chorus, everyone seemed to know that, and sang along. They sang a rousing chorus!

More humming, no one knew the words by heart. It dwindled off to silence.

Then Claire raised her hand like she was back in school. "Do you know Amazing Grace?" At that, everyone relaxed, because they knew it and it was a lusty song to sing in a crowd. They almost didn't wait for Bobby and Jenny to lead them off.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound

that saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost, but now am found,

was blind, but now I see.

Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

and grace my fears relieved.

How precious did that grace appear,

the hour I first believed.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound

that saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost, but now am found

was blind, but now I see. (repeat)

Okay, truth is, no one knew the third verse, so they skipped it. But they were all belting out the first two stanzas and the Chorus was magnificent. So they sang it one last time, and then it was time to pick up and clean up.

Patsy and Roger especially liked the singing, and told Jenny and Junior that. Everyone was chatting and laughing, so the clean up, and leftover storing was accomplished in record time. The men folded tables and chairs and put them away till tomorrow.

Roger made a point of coming over to talk to Ennis and Jack because he had not seen much of Jack, and nothing of Ennis due to traveling on business. He couldn't say enough nice things about Bobby and the girls. "I plan to do my part tomorrow, and come to help. Looks like I've been the slacker of the group."

Back home, Claire collaborated with Junior and Jenny to make a huge, soft pallet on the floor of her bedroom for them, and so everyone had ample sleeping space. Bobby showed them all through the house, pointing out Gran's room, the parlor, the bathroom, his room, and dad and Ennis' room. Just like that. No big deal.

TBC


	25. Chapter 25

A Better Idea

Chapter Twenty-Five

Saturday night, 6/4/83

"Missed you today." noted Ennis, running his hands over Jack's chest.

"Me too, baby." crooned Jack, holding Ennis in his arms in the big double bed. "We've got a lot a catchin' up to do; don't hardly know where to start."

He leaned over and kissed Ennis' temple, pushing his hair back. Ennis looked up at Jack expectantly, and was rewarded with a full, sweet kiss. They adjusted their arms tighter around each other for maximum skin contact.

"Never thought I'd see a day . . ." Ennis' eyes watered as he yawned so wide his jaw clicked. "Sorry . . . guess I'm sleepy, bud."

"Had to go and start that, didn't ya?" said Jack covering his own open mouth, too late to stifle a huge yawn. "See how contagious. . ah?" Yawning.

"Mm Hmm" nodded Ennis, "C'mere, you." Their kissing was warm and more than welcome. They yearned all day to be in physical contact, if only a slight touch of a hand, or the brief brush of an arm. But even their basic need for each other could not withstand the onslaught of sleep. They scooted down in the bed, getting comfortable in their regular places. Ennis spooned around Jack, the way they liked and pulled up the covers. As the two men were drifting off to sleep, their breathing slowing, Ennis murmured into Jack's ear, "Never been so damned happy in my life, Jack Twist."

"Me Neither."

As they succumbed to the night's dreams, each face softened to reveal the contentment within. The decades of aching loneliness dropped away, and they looked younger by far than their years spent on this earth would suggest.

The girls were giggling on their pallet of quilts on the floor of Claire's room. They were trying to name each of the new cousins they had met that day, and say who was the cutest of them all. "Oh, I think Brad is so dreamy; or was that Eric? The tall one in the blue shirt." said Junior.

"I don't know which that was, but did you see Kyle? Oh my, if the girls at school could see where we've been today and who we've been with! " exclaimed Jenny. "Oh, Junior, did you see how precious the twins, Ryan and Andrew are? They will break some hearts in high school this year. The boys didn't look like that in MY freshman class!"

"Mine neither." agreed Junior. "Course, I shouldn't be talkin' like this. Wait till you see Kurt! He is so handsome, Jenny I swear!"

"Tell you what, though," said Jenny in a quiet, serious voice, "I think Bobby has them all beat."

"Yeah, guess you're right about that, Jen. G'night." said Junior, as she pulled up the blanket over her shoulders, and snuggled down into the pillow.

Claire was ready to turn in, as well. She climbed into her bed, turned off her bedside lamp, and said "Good night, my girls, see you in the morning."

Junior and Jenny replied in their drowsiest voices, "g' night, Gran."

Upstairs, Bobby was the only one in the house with no one to talk to as he wound down from this amazing and unusual day. He thought of the morning when he'd come into the room where dad and Ennis were making the bed together. He remembered dad saying he wasn't a kid anymore, and then Gran waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs. Having breakfast as a family had been totally neat. Meeting Scarlet and Grey was really cool, and Buck too. Then having the talk with Ennis in the barn.

_I really like Ennis_, he thought, _He talks to me like it matters what I think_. _My visit to grandpa Twist at the hospital was – okay, I guess_. Then Bobby remembered driving up to Gran's house and seeing Jenny there; Jenny and Junior, and all the cousins, he corrected himself. His mind traveled back over all that had happened this day. Bobby's eyes began to droop closed.

Sunday morning could not have been better. The slight overcast kept it from getting too hot, too early. It would burn off soon enough, they knew. Ennis and Jack liked to make love in the wee hours of the new day, making each other their first priority. Then they would slip outside and get a head start on the chores.

This morning they were not interested in getting a jump on the work, they only wanted to make up for all the time they did not get to touch each other yesterday. With his hands, mouth, arms, and legs all making contact with the skin of his man, Ennis was getting from Jack what he needed most to sustain his life. In turn, Jack had to re-fill his reservoir of essence of Ennis. They could no more go without air, than without the other. No one else exists when they have this need for each other. It's all-consuming.

Their caresses became more urgent, their kisses sucking deeper, their sweat-covered bodies turned yet more slippery, causing a slurping and slapping sound with their rhythmic thrusts. Too soon, their frantic lunges cause an eruption of monumental proportions. They call out their lover's name, along with that of deities, and other nonsensical love words meant only for each other's ears. Aah, fuck. Beautiful. That was unbelievable. Then simultaneously, they think '_wouldn't it be excellent if we could stay connected forever, never have to pull out?' _

Reality begins to set in eventually.

"You know what we need in here, Jack?"

"Nuh uh, what, darlin'?"

"Ceilin' fan."

"Christ, yeah. You're right. We could swing from it next time we get this exuberant."

"Hunh!" laughed Ennis. "I meant to cool us off."

"Ya don't like getting' hot, Cowboy?"

"Didn't say that, dumbass!"

Still wrapped snugly in each other's arms, they kiss jaws, ears, eyebrows, and temples, whatever they can reach. Tenderly. Lovingly. But, nothing will halt the forward encroachment of the day. Time to unwind our bodies, time to get up, no no no, they protest. But they must. Besides, gotta piss, get coffee, shower, and make the bed. Oh damn, now we've lost skin to skin contact, and all our sweaty parts are cooling off. Shit, that's hard.

Gran had planned ahead for this busy day. She had made her special sausage western omelet casserole that Ennis liked so much. She added a steaming platter of hash browns to stretch the meal and offer variety. She had sliced up fresh cantaloupe, and made two kinds of muffins, blueberry and cranberry walnut. There would be no more meals today until the Porch Builders Supper as it was being called, so the fare was hearty and filling.

The girls were happy to help set the table, and pour juice and milk. Jack poured coffee. Ennis filled a pitcher with ice water and set it on the table.

This morning, Gran took Jack's hand, and Bobby's hand, and they joined with Ennis, Jenny and Junior, for the morning benediction over their food, and their family. When the prayer was over, Ennis did not raise his head, nor did he let go of Jack's or Junior's hands. The new Ennis Del Mar spoke, "Our Heavenly Father, there's nothing more I could ever ask of you. Our life's blessings are right here at this table. Watch over us, and protect us. Thank you for your many gifts." Smiling into the face of each and every soul at the table, he let them know that they were one of his dearest blessings.

When the family members started arriving, they came by truck and by horseback. They brought their tools, their know-how, and their willingness to pitch in not only for the work, but also for the fun. Gran made gallons of lemonade, ice tea, and ice water for the workers. Bobby took charge of the horses, settling them comfortably in the barn, and talking to them to welcome them.

He fed Scarlet, Grey and Buck right after breakfast, and mucked out their stalls. So all was well in the barn, Bobby was in charge.

The men gathered around Ennis because it was his project, and his design. He had already laid out the work areas for the power saws, had set up saw horses for hand sawing and planing. He handed out sketches of how the porch was to be built, each section plainly numbered. He tacked up the Final View of what it should eventually look like. Before seeing this final drawing, Jack had not realized that Ennis included a ramp off the west side of the porch, and steps down from the east, as well as a wider set of steps in front of the door.

Ennis gave assignments to each of those who chose not to be a builder as well; assigning them to a builder as a runner for tools, nails or a cool drink.

Junior decided there was altogether too much running going on. She found more saw horses in the barn, brought them out with Laura's help, and they had a makeshift drinks table set up in no time. Junior calculated which way the sun would move, and placed the table for maximum shadiness. She then elicited help from Ryan and Andrew to bring out the heavy gallan containers of drinks, and the cups. This step eliminated the runner traffic in and out of Gran's kitchen. Seemed to Junior they slammed the screen door every time through too. She earned a hug from Gran for thinking of this solution.

It was Kelly's idea to write every person's name on a cup to prevent them from grabbing a new paper cup every time they got thirsty. Waste saved, and Kelly knew she had done a good thing. Then she went back to carrying boards.

Ennis walked over to Jack who was planing a board that didn't want to lie flat or straight. "How's it going, darlin'?" he asked as he leaned ever so slightly into Jack's arm?

Jack straightened up, wiped his brow with a bandana, and said "Not too bad, Cowboy, seems great in fact. You?"

"Same here, even better now." Ennis smiled into knock-you-dead blue eyes.

Roger walked up to confer with Ennis and Jack while they were having their break. "Perfect work day, don't ya think?" he asked. They nodded. He had something on his mind, so continued with it, "Ennis, ya got plenty a help here without me, don't ya think?"

Again Ennis nodded, but wondered if Roger was gonna end everything he said with 'don'tcha think'. "Sure Roger, no need for ya to be here at all, specially if ya still want a be that family slacker ya mentioned yesterday." He slapped Roger on the back, smiled at him, then continued. "Sorry, couldn't resist that jab, Rog. As you can see, we got plenty of help, so don't worry about it. You got other responsibilities for today, that's your look out."

Shaking his head, Roger said, "No, that's not what I mean, Del Mar. What I'm gettin' at is, you got builders, and these builders will turn into painters before too long, don't ya think?"

Still in the dark, Ennis merely nodded, waiting.

"I'm a painting contractor, Ennis. I could drive back ta the house, round up more white paint, scrapers, sanders, sprayers, ladders, rags, turpentine,

tape, you name it, and come on back here. S'gonna look funny if we just paint that new porch white and the rest of the house is still that peeling old….uh." Not wanting to hurt Jack's feelin's, Roger stopped and stammered.

Ennis was grinning, loving the idea, but he deferred to Jack. "Ya think?"

"Hell yeah! Let's do it now, while we got the help and the equipment!"

Roger was so excited to finally be contributing something so valuable that his expertise could offer. He ran to his truck and took off for the house.

Shortly, the workers were divided between building crew, scraping crew and taping crew.

Junior and Laura found they worked well together, so as they were up on ladders anyway, they set their routine. They both scraped the trim around each window on the east facing windows, Laura would wash the window, Junior would dry it, then they both taped newspaper up covering the glass to keep paint from overspraying onto their clean window. They convinced the others to adopt their system, so when the house was freshly painted, all the windows would be clean on the outside. They'd worry about the inside at a later date!

Kyle and Eric found that they were excellent scrapers and tapers, but didn't care for washing the windows 'till Junior caught them, and glared at them. In a minute, Kyle called Junior back over and suggested that since they had such long arms, they would scrape the body of the house, and leave the window scraping, cleaning, covering and taping to others with less of a reach.

She thought that sounded perfect. So using their logic, she got with all the other paint prep workers and made similar arrangements.

Walter just beamed as he looked at the progress being made by his family on his sister's home. '_Bout time she caught a break'_, he knew.

By one p.m. the porch was finished and the house was prepped completely for painting, even those windows and boards in the front that had to be saved till the new porch floor was laid.

Gran brought out a bowl of fruit, and set it on the drinks table. Putting her hand on Ennis' shoulder, she gave him a motherly look. "You could give your workers a break. If you want." He looked at her gratefully and realized she was right. She then looked at Bobby, and tipped her head toward the house, silently asking for help. He asked Brad and Jenny to come with him. Good thing, there were three more bowls of fruit to be carried out. The entire crew sat down in whatever shade they could find and ate an apple, banana, pear, or peach, as well as a cool drink and they enjoyed some conversation.

Walter asked Claire if she would give Iris a call and let her know they'd not be over to the P.B. Supper till 3 p.m. Tell her I'll fill in the details later.

Within twenty minutes, the compressor had been fired up, and the painting was commencing on the side of the house that had the trim painted already. Roger was operating the sprayer. It was fascinating how quickly the paint covered the prepped area, and many observers gathered. Ennis had to shoo them back to painting the trim. With so many hands now free to paint trim, it went much faster, so they stayed ahead of the sprayer.

The new porch sucked up paint like a sponge, and had to be spayed again. Also the north side of the house had weathered more than the other sides, so Roger decided to put a second coat on it, as long as the paint held out. Ennis concurred with his idea.

Iris and Claire were ready with their food, so they had time for a nice long phone chat. Claire told her what was happening outside, how exciting it all was, and how the new little family had spent their night and morning. She did not tell Iris about Ennis' prayer, she would save that till they were together, face to face to share the precious memory.

When Roger and Ennis were satisfied that every thing that should be done, had been done, they had everyone begin to clean-up and pack-up. The tools had been cleaned, the excess boards, bags of concrete, nails and brads had long been put away, even before the painting began. The smaller brushes had been cleaned all along as soon as they were finished painting the trim. Gran provided a trash barrel for the paper, tape and empty paint cans. The very last thing to be done was to take down the newspaper coverings and tape from every area, making sure it was dry enough to risk putting the ladder up against the house. Finally, the ladders were stowed.

The workers washed up in basins of warm water that Gran had brought out, along with helpers Bobby, Brad and Jenny. Kelly brought soap to each station, and clean dry rags were provided by Andrew and Ryan. Eric took the dirty water and dumped it, rinsed and wiped out the basins, and one by one stacked them before returning all to the kitchen for his Great Aunt Claire.

The hungry, and somewhat clean Porch Building and House Painting Crew took off for Walter and Iris' house one more time, leaving Claire, Jack, Ennis, Bobby, Junior and Jenny to follow in Jack's truck. As they turned in the lane, to cut across the pasture, a collective gasp went up in the truck. This was the first time any of them had stood back far enough to take in the effect of what they had accomplished today.

Stunned, they gazed at the beautiful house, with the lovely new porch. In the scheme of things, it was still not much of a grand place, but in their eyes, it was wondrous, and they had done it.

"Oh Ennis" breathed Claire, "look what you've done, son."

Ennis was openly awed just like everyone else, but said "If it was just the porch I was going to build you, Mom, you'd still be looking at a big hole with sticks and string around it. It's this family of yours who've learned to come together for hard work and for play, who've accomplished this, not me."

"But, it was your idea, darlin' " pressed Jack. "You carried through with it." And each of the kids patted or rubbed Ennis' shoulder, depending on how much of him they could reach, and said, "Yeah, dad." Bobby hoped no one had heard him say that. It felt strange on his tongue and he didn't think he was ready for that, probably never would be, but he felt warm all over, and liked thinking maybe someday he would be ready.

The loud talking, the food, the rowdy bunch of relatives, 21 in all, melded together in Ennis' heart to form one of the warmest memories of his entire life. Now that they had spent two days working together and sharing meals, they all knew each other. There were no strangers here. Everyone belonged.

Kelly, Brad, Eric, Kyle, Laura, Andrew, Ryan, Bobby, Junior and Jenny were at the large table, talking loudly, comparing schools, new songs, and cars. Oh, yeah, they were at that age, if they didn't have a car they were wanting access to one. Some had their licenses, and some were studying for them.

Junior and Jenny found out that ranch kids drove almost from the time they could walk. Didn't seem fair! Someone asked, "You wanta go swimming?" All did, but no decision was made.

By the time that afternoon when Walter settled down beside the love of his life, with his plate of food and began to tell her all about the morning's activities, Iris had already heard it on the phone from Claire. For a man who loved to talk as much as Walter did, it was a cruel blow. He decided she hadn't heard his version, so he told her anyway

Jack brought his full plate over and sat down next to Ennis, making Kenneth scoot over a bit on the banquet, so he could wedge in thigh to thigh with his man. Roger and Patsy were in this same cluster around a middle-sized folding table. Ken craned his neck around to seek Rachel, and found her filling her plate with Mauro and Jennifer at the buffet table. He made sure to catch her eye so she knew he was saving a place for her and her brother, and sister-in-law. This group when assembled, represented the entire middle generation in the family right now. "No, said Rachel, remember Uncle Harold's kids, Christy and Steve and their spouses."

"Oh yeah" said Ken. "They were up here for Mother's Day. You know, that brings back a memory, Jack. That was the day before your dad's stroke."

Jack and Ennis both looked far off, remembering they were together out in the wilderness. That particular day they had spent in the prairie, and ended by watching the sunset nestled against each other." They sat there quietly.

Rachel teased, "Well, to be technically correct, if you are counting my brother, Mo, here and his wife Jennifer, guess we'll also have to count my sister Mary, my brother Andrew along with their spouses. They come up here often enough." She turned to Ennis and continued. "What about you, Ennis, do we have to count your wife, as well?"

He looked at Rachel and calmly replied, "No, I'm divorced from Alma, my girls' mother. Now, it's just me and Jack."

Jack turned a stunned look on Ennis, and made him think about what he'd just said. "Oh, I don't mean "Just" Jack as if he ain't important to me. I meant, now it's me and Jack." Then satisfied that he had clarified it, he settled back and reached his fork in for a bite of potato salad.

Jack, as well as everyone else around the table just sat there, for three ticks of the clock. Then he reached his hand up to Ennis and squeezed the muscles at the nape of his neck, and nodding his head, said "yep." Jack smiled like he'd been given a million dollars.

Patsy had looked horrified, when Ennis said "now it's me and Jack." and she bolted up, dropping her plate to the table where it landed upside down. She ran outside, seeking a place of solace, a place to hide. "Ennis, contrite, said

"Oh, I'm sorry, I certainly did not mean to offend . . . " but Ken didn't let him finish. "It's not that, Ennis."

Roger had followed Patsy to try to comfort his wife, so the explanation was left to anyone who wanted to attempt it. "Patsy's brother Charles, was gay apparently. Unfortunately, he fell in love with a straight man, and was doomed to have his heart broken. No one in his family knew he was gay until he killed himself and left them a suicide note."

This story hit Ennis in a particularly tender place, as he always considered himself to be a straight man, accidentally in love with a male co-worker, leaving Jack to wonder and worry if he would ever make a life with him. I'm so lucky that Jack is more patient, and more persuasive, and I've finally begun to give it a try. Truth be told, I think I'm lucky that old man Twist had the stroke, or I don't know where me and Jack and our kids would be about now. "Do you think she'd allow me to talk to her?" he asked the group?

As he approached Patsy, he looked questioningly at Roger. He nodded and backed off, leaving room for Ennis to come nearer. Ennis opened his arms, and she came into them, sobbing into his shirt front. He let her cry for a minute or two. "I'm so sorry, Patsy, I didn't know about Charles. You have my heartfelt condolences." Eventually, she dried her tears, and they sat down on a bench in the yard. In as short a version as possible, he told her their story. His and Jack's. How they were just now beginning to try, and how scary it was, and how wonderful in most respects, because of this family.

She said "If you ever feel the need of a sister, I'm here for you, Ennis."

He squeezed her tight, and kissed her cheek. "You know what, Patsy? You've just reminded me that I have not told my own brother and sister about my life. I mean, that I love a man. After hearing about your brother, I think I'd better rectify that situation, don't you? No more secrets. You have been such a big help to me, I hope I've been able to help you a bit." Arms wrapped around each other, they strolled back into the house and rejoined the group.

"Jack, I hate to leave, you know I do. But it's getting awful late. Me and the girls got work and our so-called lives waiting for us in Riverton bright and early tomorrow morning."

"Yeah, okay." said Jack, his blue eyes darkening with need and sadness.

Jennifer looked significantly at Mo, who approached Ennis. "Ennis, if you prefer, wait a couple of hours and fly back to Riverton with Jen and me. It'd be no trouble."

"Oh, Mauro that sounds wonderful. But I need my truck back there for my ranch work, and to drive up here again next weekend. I sure wish I could, though. Maybe some other time? Can I have a rain check?"

Jennifer asked, "What about the girls? Can we take them back?"

She and Ennis found Junior and Jenny in a group out back looking at a litter of black and white kittens. When they saw Ennis, they said "Oh, daddy! . . " and he said "No. No way. No kittens. Up to your mother anyway. It'd be her headache, not mine. Girls, came to ask you if you're going to fly back with Jennifer and Mauro, or ride all the way back to Riverton in that ratty old truck with me."

Junior decided that she had things she wanted to get done tonight, so she would go ahead and fly back, while Jenny opted for the time with her daddy.

"C'mere" he said to his girls. Kissing them both, he acknowledged once again how grown up they were, but they were still his little girls.

"Junior, we have to leave now, or we'll never get back in time. Shoulda left a long time ago, but just couldn't pull myself away. Ya know?" Jenny nodded, reluctant to leave, but preferred to have this time alone with daddy. 'Sides

Who'd he talk to, all that way, if she didn't go with him?

He hugged Junior again, and kissed her forehead, ran his knuckles over her face, and walked away. Hardest walk he could remember since taking her to kindergarten and leaving her there that first day_. Guess this is like that_, he thought, _it's a growing up thing_.

Jenny didn't have much gear to gather up, but she and Gran made a few sandwiches and cold drinks for their trip southwest, and spent the time in girl talk. Bobby came in asking, "Did you make Ennis' coffee yet?" When he discovered they hadn't thought of coffee, he brewed the coffee, strong like he liked it, and poured it in the thermos that they'd used on the trip up.

Everything was packed in the pick-up and still Ennis and Jack hadn't come downstairs. The three of them kept checking, looking up the stairs, but no one was coming down.

As soon as the Twist/Del Mar family had gotten back to the new house and new porch, Jack headed up to their room, with Ennis following. They came together hard, clutching tightly, and hating this yet one more goodbye. "Goddammit all to hell, Ennis! I fuckin' hate this."

"I know you do, baby. I do too."

"Why can't you ditch that job and just stay?"

"You know I got a few more months of child support, Jack. I gotta work."

"I could spare you a loan, bud."

"Jack Fuckin' Twist, you know how bad it got the last time you offered that!"

"I miss you already, Ennis!"

"Me too, Jack, it's rippin' my guts out. C'mere."

Ennis pulled Jack down on their bed, and cradled him, kissing his face and telling him it'd be all right. Nevertheless, they both cried, and when they went downstairs, they had red, puffy eyes.

Ennis was just one big knot of pain, he kissed Claire, and hugged her saying, "I'll see you the weekend, Mom." He walked over to Bobby and grabbed him so tight, one sob came out before he could stop himself. "You take care a gran and your daddy, ya hear me, son?"

Thinking to move along, maybe escape some of this, Ennis called to Jenny "Hop in the truck, Jenny girl, we can't stand here bawlin' all night." Feeling bad about how that sounded, he said "Well, guess I'm the only one bawlin' here." When she was in the truck, he made her put her seat belt on, and then he stepped up to Jack.

Taking Jack's face in his hands, he kissed him so longingly, that if there'd ever been any question about whether theirs was a romantic relationship, no one in the vicinity was in doubt anymore. They all walked into the house to give Jack and Ennis one last moment alone.

"I love you, my darlin' Jack, and I'll see you next Friday night."

"Okay, baby. Take care of yourself, I love you so much, Ennis."

Ennis got in the truck, started it and drove away without a look back. It hurt too damned bad. Jack stood in the yard, watching, till they were out of sight down that damned lonely old gravel road.

TBC


	26. Chapter 26

A Better Idea

A/N: Annie's characters, Annie's words where appropriate.

Chapter Twenty-Six

_Thursday, June 9th, 1983_

Ennis Del Mar awoke, stretched and yawned. He checked the sky through the window across from his bed. _Looks like it's going to be a fine day_, he thought. Then his mood shifted 180 degrees away from optimism, when a memory struck him like a load of dirt coming off a dump truck_. Oh no, it's __Thursday. John C. Twist comes home today. "_Shit!" he said; the word like buckshot flung against the walls of the empty trailer. Biting at a hangnail on his thumb, he started the coffee, then went to his bathroom, intent on pounding the negative images outa his mind with a scalding hot shower.

While he soaped himself all over, Ennis thought of Jack, as he did every day at this time. Usually this was a pleasant, sensuous time; beginning his day remembering the feel of Jack's hands and eyes on him as they glowed with passion. But this morning he wondered how his man was feeling right now; didn't think they had to go pick up JC till 2 p.m_. I hope my darlin' is busy with chores and family, and not worrying himself sick over this thing_.

Ennis thought _my poor family, up there in Lightning Flat_. He imagined Jack, Bobby and Mom at home wondering _How will we deal with this mean old man_?

Neither Jenny nor Junior had time to come over tonight, so Ennis guessed that it would be a long evening for him. _Miss them so much now, even though seeing them more than ever. Enjoying them more than ever, too_. he thought.

_Wouldn't take a million dollars for the company of Jenny on the drive back to Riverton on Sunday evening, never knew she was so comical. Surprised him too how she insisted on spelling him, and taking her turn at the wheel. She's a good driver, my girl. Junior seeing a lot of that Kurt fella, nowadays, hope they take their time, don't rush into anything. _

Ennis continued thinking on the people he loved as he drove to the ranch, the morning routine well behind him. He knew it would be a good day, and a busy one. Lots to do and only one more day after this till he could head on up to Lightning Flat again and let his body be where his heart was waiting, up there on the Montana border.

Pulling into the eastern gate of the Stodemeir Ranch, Ennis turned his thoughts to the days' work. The herd was in as fine shape as he could ever remember, knew it would be time to move them again in a week or two, depending on how much rain we . . . BANG!

Herman had been attempting to start his beloved automobile, the Bahama Yellow, 1967 Porsche 912, when it suddenly backfired, then rumbled to life.

Charlie Warren was directly behind the old car at the time, riding the new gelding Hot Flash, known to have a low startle point. The horse screamed and leaped into the air, with Charlie hanging on for dear life. Hot Flash raced away in fright from the loud noise, oblivious to Charlie's attempts to comfort and control him. The horse's intended trajectory was directly at Ennis' truck. Ennis had slowed to enter the gate, and then resumed speed to go around to the barn and stock pens, before he heard the car backfire.

It seemed to Herman as if it was choreographed; it almost looked like a Keystone Kops skit, except that it was not funny, not in the least bit funny.

Ennis Del Mar knew his truck's capabilities. He turned the wheel toward the charging gelding knowing that momentum would carry them well past each other, and avoid any sort of impact. Ennis tapped the brakes lightly to slow the truck, not wanting to lock them up. He maneuvered his vehicle as if it were an extension of himself, toward the safety of the roadside. Just then Hot Flash hesitated for a hairsbreadth, but blindly turned directly into his path. All Ennis could see was the rolling eyes of the gelding as it bore frantically down upon him, hurtling poor Charlie toward a disastrous end.

Wrenching the wheel hard right, Ennis was able to prevent the collision but was not able to avoid the inevitable. The old truck flipped, end over end, as though in slow motion, it's screeching metal twisting painfully upon itself.

Herman came on a dead run even before the truck came to rest on its top, astride the blacktop drive. Yelling instructions over his shoulder to Bruce Adams to call an ambulance, and to wait for them at the main gate and direct them back here; he fearfully touched Ennis' throat at a pulse point.

Momentarily relieved, Herman cried out, "Breathing! He's still breathing!"

Ennis was semi-conscious. He tried saying something like, "Jack Fuckin' Twist, look what you done! I'm kilt." Then blackness overtook him. He had been thrown clear, about ten yards from the pick-up. His face looked like someone Herman did not know, someone puffy. His arm was lying at a peculiar angle, and there was a large red knot rising on his brow.

Charlie was in agony, blaming himself for not controlling Hot Flash, and to make matters worse, he could now smell burning grease, and spilled fuel from Ennis' truck. He was urgently insisting that they should move Ennis further away even before the EMT's got there. He returned the goddamn horse to its stall, and came back to try to lessen, if he could, whatever damage had been done to his friend.

Herman was feeling Ennis' ribs, arms and legs, the ones that were not just obviously busted, and softly called his name, "Innis, Innis, can you hear me, boy?" He glared at Charlie, and shook his head No, when he approached, wanting to move Ennis. "NO Charlie! Vurst think ve coult do, moof him!"

The ranch hand knew his boss was right, but he wanted to do something, anything to try to make up for his part in this horrible accident.

Charlie began throwing dirt on the smoldering truck joints, and covering the spilled fuel, as well. He remembered seeing a fire extinguisher in the stable, and ran to retrieve it. He sprayed where he could feel intense heat radiating, not knowing if he was accomplishing anything, or not. By then they heard the siren, and anxiously watched and waited for Medical help to come.

Ennis again began to mumble, but his boss could not make out the words. Herman called to him, "Can you hear me, boy? You trying to say something?" He put his ear down near Ennis' mouth to hear better. It sounded like bits of nonsense; something like "tar iron" and then clearer, "fuckin' bastards". The poor boy is delirious, he thought, and that's not surprising with all that's happened to him.

When Ennis awoke finally, Junior and Jenny were standing beside his bed with frightened faces; their eyes wide with worry. He was glad to see them but didn't know why they were here, wherever 'here' was. And he said "My angels" . . . well, his brain said My Angels, but his mouth did not move. He tried to sit up, but a jolt of hot pain shot through his left arm, and his rib cage, so he changed his mind about that sitting up business.

The girls noticed that daddy was waking, and started crying in earnest then. He wanted to ask what was going on, but couldn't. Herman Stodemeir walked in looking like he'd lost his last friend. _Is this some kinda weird dream_? _Am I dead_? thought Ennis. _Must be dead_. Herman pulled chairs up for the girls.

Momentarily, Doctor Donohoe came in with a clipboard in his hand, and said "Looks like you finally decided to join us, Mr. Del Mar." He took a pen light out of his pocket and shined it in each of Ennis' eyes, probing around them gently. "Uh huh, uh huh," was all he said. _What the shit does that mean_? raged in-the-dark Ennis. Then he raised his eyebrows questioningly at the doc, _Guh! Even that hurt! _

The doctor informed him that he'd been in an accident, and that he had some broken bones, but nothing that wouldn't heal nicely in time. "You are in good hands here at St. Ann's, we'll get you better in due time, do not doubt that." With that pronouncement, the doctor left the room, with Ennis not knowing much more than he did before.

Ennis' right hand had some red, iodiney lookin stuff on it, but it was not in a cast, nor was the arm. He tested it, found he could lift it and reached out to his girls. They each clung gratefully to his arm. "Daddy, We were SO worried about you! How do you feel? Oh we know you can't talk, sorry. Daddy, Mr. Stodemeir has been here all afternoon, waiting to see you."

When Ennis looked at him, Herman began telling him how very sorry he was, that this was all his fault, and that he would do everything in his power to see that Ennis had a full recovery, and for him not to worry about anything.

He realized that Ennis probably still did not know what had happened, how he had been hurt nor what his injuries were.

So, in his earnest and heartily sorry voice, Herman informed Ennis and the girls of the car's backfire, the horse's fright, the change of direction, and as he spoke, it was all coming back to Ennis' memory, up to that point.

When he continued, he told of the truck flipping, end over end, and Ennis being thrown free. The girls couldn't hold back then, crying profusely, they said "Oh, poor daddy!" and patted his good hand and arm.

He pantomimed Writing, with his right hand, and the girls found him a pen and small tablet. Ennis wrote, "how bad?" So Herman filled him in about the particular injuries he'd sustained. He pointed at his own jaw and said "Broken, undt Vired Shut!" Then he touched his own left arm below the elbow, and said "Multiple Fractures – dey operated on you earlier today." And then thinking, he added "got pins now," pointing to his own arm again. He pointed to his ribs and held up one finger, "cracked", he said, "taped now." And last, Herman pointed to his own forehead, and told Ennis "goose ache". He could not figure out what Mr. Stodemeir was trying to say, so he looked at the girls, and Jenny said, "you got a big bump, daddy." Junior told him "Goose Egg size". He thought; _Guess I ain't winnin no beauty contest today_.

Ennis' face looked worried, as he wrote "gotta work" on the tablet. Herman shook his head back and forth. "Innis, yur chob right now iss to get vell. Nutting elss. Yur veekly vages will be pait, as usual, sints this vas my fault, undt happent on my property; I am responsible. The ranch vill be cofering all a yur medical bills, you are not to vurry yourself about anyting!"

Ennis still looked quite confused and worried. He motioned for the tablet again and wrote "my truck?" and then upon further reflection wrote beneath that line, "Charlie ok?"

Herman told him that Charlie was fine, just worried about him. But the news about the truck was not so good. Totaled.

All four of the people in the room became quiet, thinking how much worse it might have been. And what would need to be done to get him well again, and everything back to the way it was. The girls were wondering if everything would ever be the same again. Herman resumed, "Iss dere some vun at home to take care uff you when you are releaset, Innis, or vill I hire you a nurse?"

Junior said, "Please sir. My daddy wouldn't want no nurse in his house." Ennis agreed with Junior by moving his hand in a refusing gesture.

He was feeling as hurt and vulnerable as a small child. He realized who he needed the most right then. _The one who would take care of me has her hands full with her husband now, I wish I could be there, at home and let Mom comfort me and shoulder all my worries. _Ennis recognized that he had thought "home" when thinking of Lightning Flat, and let his mind hear it again. _Home_. Tears gathered in those cinnamon eyes.

He looked at the girls again, needing the tablet. "Called Jack?" he wrote. They said they had not yet, waiting to know how bad he was and so forth.

"Need you call – talk 4 me." They nodded their heads yes, firmly.

Herman took off for the ranch then, to tell everyone how Ennis was doing, and to lie down. The events of this long day had drained him. He felt so bad for his part in unintentionally causing the chain of events that had injured this fine young family man. The guilt was a heavy weight on his chest. He was determined to make all this up to Ennis; he only had to figure out how.

Ennis wrote out the phone number for Junior to dial, and she, being the oldest was to tell Jack what had happened to their daddy. Ennis began to wave his good hand at her, he wrote, "ask, grandpa twist come home?"

When Junior reached the Twist house, it was Gran who answered. She called Bobby in to ask him to run out to the barn and get his daddy; say that Junior was on the phone. She didn't want him overly alarmed before he got in the house, so guessed that was the right thing to say. She was so nervous that she wouldn't step too far away, worrying and wondering why Ennis did not place the call for himself.

Jack grabbed up the handset, "Junior, what's wrong?" he demanded. She knew he was frightened, so first she summarized, and only then filled in chronologically what all had taken place today. "So you, Jenny and your dad are at the hospital now? And he's going to stay a day or two, you think?"

"Well, Jack, maybe only one more day. But they say he must have someone stay with him when he goes home, to take care of him for several weeks. At least as long as his jaw is wired shut."

"Course he must, course." Jack mulled over the situation trying to think but couldn't. His insides were trembling and he missed Ennis so much already. "Junior, you tell him Jack says "I love you, babe."

"Oh, Jack, you can tell him yourself. Just a sec, I'll hand him the phone. He has one good hand and arm. He can't answer you though. Oh wait; before I give daddy the phone, he wanted me to ask if grandpa Twist came home today. Okay, here's daddy."

"Ennis? You there, Cowboy?"

"Uh huh"

"You alright, baby?"

"Un"

"You're not, huh? Ennis, I love you so much. You know that, don't you?"

"Uh huh"

"Cowboy, can I come get you and bring you home?"

"Uh huh"

Jack was choking back tears, trying to think clearly, and stalling; hoping his power of reasoning would return. Jack was used to thinking in tight situations, but having his Cowboy hurt has completely undone him.

"Ennis, Junior said you wanted to ask if my dad came home today. He did. It tired him out quite a bit, the traveling, loading and unloading. So he's been sleeping a lot, kind of reserved. With him, no news is good news, you know?"

Jack took another second to think.

"Ennis, darlin', I'm coming to get you. I don't know how or when yet. But it won't be long. I just have to figure it out. Okay?"

"Uh huh?"

"Ennis, I'm sorry I ever wished for you to be quiet, and not so blamed argumentative. I take it all back. When you get well, you can talk all day and all night. I mean it, love."

"Hunn!" Ennis came pretty close to laughing at that, and knew that no one in the world but Jack Twist could do that to him in the state he was in tonight.

"Ennis, is there something you want to tell me, too?"

"Uh huh!"

"You love me don'tcha Cowboy? You're just stuck on me, bigtime, ain'tcha?"

"Uh huh!" and Ennis smiled the best he could.

Junior and Jenny felt much warmer, and calmer as they watched the change come over their father. They knew Jack was working his magic.

Jenny touched her daddy's good arm. "Dad, I need to talk to Jack when you're through."

Ennis was tired; just holding the phone seemed to tax his strength.

Taking the phone from her dad's hand, Jenny spoke swiftly and efficiently.

"Jack, are you coming to get daddy and me?"

"Yes, I am."

"Jack, can Mauro fly you to Riverton, and bring us all back up there?"

"Uh, I don't rightly know, darlin'. Hadn't thought of that. My brain has kinda froze up on me."

"You wanna check it out, and then call me at home? I need to tell mama that I'm going to take care of daddy, and I'll be away for several weeks, as long as it takes."

"Jenny, I think that's a perfect idea. We'll have a regular little infirmary set up here, Miss Nightingale."

"I'll pack while I wait for your call, Jack. Either way, we're coming up there. Even if I have to drive us. Oh, wait. Daddy's truck was totaled. Did they tell you that? Somehow, me and Junior will pack up daddy's clothes and stuff too. Jack, don't you worry about daddy too much. With our tender loving care, you and me will have him back to his old self in no time. You hear me, Jack?"

Jack finally let the tears roll, "yes, darlin' I hear ya. Thank you."

Jenny looked at Ennis as he was nodding off. Finally the pain medication was working. "Daddy says he loves you, Jack. Talk to you later tonight." She rubbed his good hand while she told that little bit of a stretch on the truth. She believed if daddy'd been awake, he Would have said that.

Alma came to the hospital to pick up the girls as soon as they called her. She came in to check on Ennis, and it was all she could do to hide the lump in her throat for the man who was her first love. She was not used to seeing him hurt and vulnerable. She didn't like it one bit. She said a prayer for him to get well and regain his strength soon. No way for this strong man to be, laying all helpless in this hospital bed. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve as the girls gave their home phone number to the night nurse, as first contact.

Junior was frustrated that she had to go to work, had to stay in Riverton. After all, she was her daddy's best girl, always had been. _Well_, she thought, _Kurt will be glad I'm not leaving town without him again_.

She knew that Jenny would keep her updated every day if necessary, while they were up there in Lightning Flat. _Still, I will miss them. We'll have to see what we can do. It's still my job, as the oldest, to take care of my daddy._

After Jack called and updated Alma, he talked to Jenny. "Seems that tomorrow, as soon as the morning legislative session is over, Mauro has to fly Governor Herschler from Cheyenne, up to Gillette for a long weekend with his in-laws. Works out perfectly, Mo can pick me up here, and we'll meet you at the Riverton airport. You have a way to get you and your daddy from that hospital to the airport, Jenny girl?"

Jenny admitted that she did not, at the moment have all that nailed down, so she'd have to let him know tomorrow. Jenny wasn't worried, she'd handle it.

Her first call was to Herman Stodemeir. As soon as she told him of her plan, he offered to give Ennis a pick-up truck as a replacement for the one that got totaled this morning. Jenny declined politely, thinking that daddy would Never accept something that big from a friend, and Herman was a friend.

She told him she needed good solid transportation from the hospital to the airport. Something that would not jar him about, and cause her daddy extra pain. "Ach! I know yust the ting! My aunt Greta has a brand new '83 Lincoln Town Car. Large, luxurious, and up to the minute. I vill personally pick you up from the hospital and take you to the airport. Yust call me vhen you know the time uf his release."

Alma agreed to run Jenny over to Ennis' trailer in the morning to pack his necessary items, and to bring Jenny's and Ennis' luggage to the hospital for her, or to the airport, whichever makes the most sense.

Bobby was nagging Jack to take him along to Riverton to pick up Ennis and Jenny, but Jack wasn't sure about space. If Ennis needed to stretch out, he wanted to have the room available for him. Bobby can go with us another time. "Besides," Jack whispered in his son's ear, "Jenny will be here for two or three weeks, maybe more. You don't need to be in that big a hurry to see her." He deliberately watched for Bobby's reaction, and he saw the pink climbing up his neck and splash across his ears. That's just what he thought.

Jack told Bobby how much he was depending on him to help Gran take care of grandpa Twist. "You know I will, daddy." Bobby promised.

As it turned out, Jack talked Mauro into flying into Riverton as early as he could Friday, after getting the governor settled in Gillette. He just could not sit and wait in Lightning Flat, nor in Riverton either; had to get to Ennis.

Alma offered to pick Jack up to take him to the hospital. While at the airport, she got Jenny's and Ennis' luggage from the trunk of her car, and suggested that Jack put it in the plane now. Before pulling away, she asked, "Don't your friend want to come along, get some lunch or something, Jack?"

Jack looked at her wide-eyed, but contrite. "I don't know, it was the farthest thing from my mind, Alma. Hold on a minute, please." He ran back to make offers of food and whatever Mauro might need, apologizing all over himself for his lack of manners. No need for that; Mauro understood and was concerned about Ennis, as well. Said he'd just go to the pilot's lounge inside the airport and have a bowl of soup and take a nap till they needed him. He gave Jack the phone number to call when they were leaving the hospital. "I'll be here whenever you need me, Jack. Now go along to Ennis, I'll be fine." Mauro clapped Jack on the shoulder, "Now, on your way."

In the car, Jack was visibly shaken and worried. Looks of him, he probably hadn't slept since getting the girls' call. Alma looked over at him as she negotiated the light midday traffic. "He's going to be okay, you know." she said gently. Jack turned big pleading eyes on her, "Alma, I have to see him for myself; I been sick with worry."

She reached over with her right hand and placed it on his forearm, "I know."

Only then did the tears streak down his silent cheeks.

She let him be for a minute or two, then said, "Now, you need to listen to me, Jack." Hearing Alma's firm tone, Jack sat up straighter, dried his tears, and licked his lower lip. "Need you to think this through. This place you're takin my . . . girls' daddy. It's pretty rural up there, ain't it?" Jack nodded. "Well, he's been on medicine for pain, and I don't know what all. You are the one in charge. You'll have to talk to his doctor, find out everything he needs, and get it before you leave Riverton. Might need several more prescriptions, and other treatments too, and the schedule for each, you got that? You need to be askin all the right questions. It's Ennis' health we're talkin about here."

Jack appeared to grow taller and stronger sitting there in the passenger seat next to Alma. Her words brought him back to himself, brought back his strength. He was under control as he thanked her. Ennis had recently told her that Jack was a good man. She could see that it was true. Instinctively, Alma knew this man would take care of Ennis Del Mar. She could let go now.

Alma and Jack walked into Ennis' room together. Jack had to take a deep breath and a moment to collect himself again, upon seeing evidence of all the damage his man had sustained. He surveyed the head bandages, the mouth hardware, the full arm cast, and the taped ribs; not to mention the scrapes, bumps and bruises just beginning to turn color.

Though Ennis was dozing, he was aware someone had come in and he was attempting to open his one available good eye, the other being completely swollen shut. He saw blue eyes, and a black hat_. Jack Fuckin Twist_, he thought. Ennis raised his right arm to touch this apparition, make sure that his man was really here. When he touched solid skin, his tears rolled down the sides of his face and into his ears. Tickled a bit.

Jack took Ennis' hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing the palm and holding it against his own face. Ennis could feel Jack's stubble, knew he had been worried, and rushed here. "Are you hurtin', darlin'?" Jack asked.

Ennis could not communicate with gestures either, as everything hurt. But he was able to hold his finger and thumb about a half inch apart in the sign for "a little bit". Jack wanted to know so much, but only asked, "Ennis, have they said when you can be released?" Ennis looked for his tablet and pen but had no peripheral vision.

Alma had seen him use them last night, and now she retrieved them from the table beside the bed. Handing them to Jack, she said "He wants to write an answer for you. Put the pen in his hand, and hold the paper, just so." Ennis had not known she was there beside him. He gazed at these two people he'd loved for so long, and was strangely pleased to see them here together.

He wrote "3" and Jack checked his watch, noting that it was two hours away. "Alma, will you stay here with Ennis while I hunt up his doctor?" and she nodded her agreement. Then she remembered that Ennis could not see her, and answered verbally. "Yes, Jack. I'll be right here." Ennis' heart swelled with gratitude. Not more than a week ago, he had asked Alma to try to call Jack by his name, and not "that man", and today, she has done so.

"Ennis, have you seen Jenny this afternoon?" She made sure the pen was firmly in his hand and held the tablet close. He wrote "Y" and then under that wrote "Dr."

"She's gone to find your doctor?" she asked if she had it right.

Again, he wrote "Y". Then she took the pen and tablet from his hand, laid them aside, and patted his hand. She said, "Okay, you just rest now."

Alma heard voices in the corridor and knew Jenny and Jack were coming back. But when they walked in, Jack had his arm around her Jenny, and she was looking up into his face, showing him the prescriptions they would need to pick up, and said she had a treatment schedule. Alma felt a shattering jolt of jealousy rip through her entire body_. It's not enough he steals my man, now he's taking my kids from me too! _Her fists clenched at her sides.

Jenny smiled and ran to hug her mother.

"Mama, Jack said you're such an amazing woman. You picked him up at the airport, knocked some sense into him and saved his life! He said you already put our luggage on the plane, and told him what he needs to do before we leave Riverton. I told him that wasn't news; we always knew that 'bout you!"

Alma blushed and suddenly felt her hands and body relax. "Aw, go on. I didn't do anything." she claimed.

Jack approached her as a student to a venerable teacher. "You really set me straight. I was a mess, Alma, and you know it. Thank you, for everything."

She just nodded, silently thankful.

Alma needed to leave; her husband and kids were waiting at home. But before she left, she had something to say to the three people in this room. "Ennis, are you awake?" He opened his eyes and blinked at her. "Jack, Jenny, you are my witnesses, now. Ennis, as long as Jenny is going to be staying up there with you, it's not right for you to be paying Child Support to me. So that ends, here and now."

Ennis reached for the pen and paper, and thrust it at her, "Not Right". She nodded her head and said "I figured you'd say that. We can argue about it later, when you get your wires out. We can have a nice long talk then. In the meantime, I'm not accepting any mail from you."

She hugged her youngest daughter tight, took Jenny's face in her hands and kissed her saying "I'm so proud of you, Jenny; you've turned in to a very responsible young woman. Take good care a your daddy 'n yourself too, ya hear? And don't you forget to call home!"

"Okay mama, I won't forget to call you." Jenny hugged her mother goodbye.

As Alma stepped to the door, Jack offered her his arm, which she graciously accepted. He walked her out to her car. "I'll take care a both a them, you know." Jack said, smiling down at her.

"Jenny will call you, as soon as we get home, I promise. Thank you once again, Alma, for everything." Jack felt gratitude to this strong woman.

"Bye, Jack, talk to you soon."

As she slid into the driver's seat, Jack said, "Ennis feels real strong on that Child Support, ya know." Alma smiled at him and said "Yes, I know. So do I."

While Jack was out of the room, Jenny called Mr. Stodemeir, and he was on his way. She tracked down the day nurse, got the discharge papers located, and the processing started. She was learning; nothing is easy in the hospital.

Jack gave Mauro a call, and told him of their expected timeline. Before he knew it, they were gingerly loading Ennis into the back seat of the Town Car. Jack thought it best to sit in front with Herman; he could stand it for the few minutes it took to get across town even though he couldn't get his hands on Ennis while in such a public place. Jack had helped put Ennis in the car and petted him as much as he could without inflicting pain. It seemed like a normal thing a friend would do, and it gave Jack comfort to have this little bit of contact with his Cowboy.

Jenny sat in back with her dad, his head in her lap. She lightly touched his good arm. Herman prevailed upon them to shop at his own Pharmacy, and charge everything they needed to his account. He took down Jack's phone number so he could call and check on Ennis in a day or so. Herman had long considered Ennis to be like a son to him, and it was breaking his heart to see him go so far away to recuperate. "By the vay, how iss Innis' fahter-in-law doink dese days?"

"Excuse me?" Jack asked, not sure he'd heard right. Jenny looked puzzled.

"Innis tolt me his fahter-in-law had a stroke, undt he vas helping oudt up at Lightning Flat. How iss he doink?

Jack Twist smiled, and said "Oh, pretty good, he came home from the hospital yesterday."

TBC


	27. Chapter 27

A Better Idea

A/N: Annie's characters; My imagination.

This chapter is dedicated to my friend shakestheground.

Happy Birthday, darlin' !

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Friday, June 10th, 1983

Two men both named Twist, alone in the house that Friday after lunch.

What might pass for a conversation ensued.

"Okay, ready for your afternoon therapy? Here's your rubber ball. Squeeze 30 times, rest for 10 counts, squeeze again. Do 3 sets of those. Then rest.

Next we'll do your right elbow, then shoulder. Okay? You need help?"

John kept his eyes on the ball as he squeezed it. Without looking up he spoke to Bobby, "Heard your daddy on the telephone yesterday. That Junior he was talkin to; that His boy?"

Bobby said "no."

"I always knowed that Ennis Del Mar weren't nothin but a queer. Sumpin' happen a him? Somebody git him good? Way your daddy was talkin' a him all lovey dovey was downright sickenin'. Almos' brought up my dinner."

"Look here, old man. I ain't gonna stand here and listen to you bad mouth my family! I don't care if you are old and feeble!"

"Hmmph, ain't never been feeble a day in my life, don't aim ta start now. What you gonna do about it anyways? Livin under my roof aint'cha?"

"Way I heard it, its Gran's roof. I'd be careful f'I's you."

"Ain't no way for you to talk to your betters, boy!"

"When I meet my betters, I'll respect'em. I was brought up right by my mama and my daddy."

"Zat so?"

"Yes, old man, that's so".

"You need to be callin me "grandpa" or "sir" 'n keep a civil tongue in your head, boy."

"Ain't no grandpa a mine. 'Shamed a you. My mother's father was a bully and a nasty old man too, just like you. He was called by his initials, LD, and he always had to be the stud duck too, I'm gonna call you by your initials too, JC, just like him; Y' ain't no grandpa a mine atall."

"Well, you got a backbone, boy. I'll say that much fer ya. Musta got it from yer Ma."

"That's it! Not talkin' to no nasty mouth old man about my daddy. You ain't fit to shine his boots. Nor Ennis' neither, you know that? Dad and Ennis are BOTH finer men than you ever thought a bein'!"

Gran had her apron overly full of ripening tomatoes, holding it up by the corners with both hands, she had no way to open the door. Was figurin' out how to use her elbows to advantage when Bobby jerked the door wide and stopped open mouthed in front of her. Stepped back to let her enter, then slammed out and stalked off to the barn. He was brushing Buck for a fare-thee-well when she came out to the barn two minutes later.

"You could tell me about it. If you want."

"I'm sorry Gran, didn't mean to be rude to you like that. I never was one to be slammin' doors, but he just got my goat!"

"You and grandpa have words, did ya?"

"Told him he ain't no grandpa a mine. Talking bad about my family; it just ain't right."

"No, that ain't right. What would you suggest we do?"

Bobby thought for only a second before saying: "How deep is your well?"

"Deep enough, I reckon." replied Gran grimly.

There was a pause as a thoughtful look crossed her face. "But we'll be needin clean water at some point. snummph."

Bobby couldn't hold his glee any longer, especially when Gran was snortin' like that! They both laughed till their sides ached. Relieved a lot of that tension, it surely did.

Turning serious again, Bobby asked a direct question. "How'd you stay with him all this time, Gran, if he's as mean as everyone says?"

"Bobby, much of life's a mystery, and this is one a those. But I promise you I'm gonna tackle this one right now. Please stay out here awhile and brush Ennis' horses for him, won't you? I want to talk to your uh . . my husband. Okay, darlin'?"

With Bobby's nod of agreement, Claire turned to walk back to the house. She smoothed the front of her dress with her hands, as she went back in.

"John Twist, we need ta have a word or two, and a lot of what you consider to be your future is ridin' on your answers. You listenin' ta me, John?"

"How could I be doin' anythin' else? Woman gets to flappin her mouth can't nobody hear their own thoughts in their head."

"John, that's the last nasty, ugly word I wanta hear from you. Now just hush up and listen to me a minute."

"I know Walter told you that we know about your Childress experience, and I've tried to look forward to you comin' home, and getting back to normal. Like we was when Jack was a baby. Oh how wild you was for that boy. And for me, too, John. Do you remember those days, John? R'member any a that?"

"'Course I do woman, why wouldn't I?"

"You don't act like it, John. You act like you hate us. We ain't done nothing but love you, John. You got no call to treat Jack and me like you been doin' all these years. We didn't attack you, John. It's not our fault you was hurt. We didn't even know you was hurt . . . and that hurts most of all. You didn't even trust your own wife with the truth. A wife who worshipped you and would have done anything in her power to help you get well and to heal."

"Nothin you coulda done, Claire. Didn't want you to be disgusted by me, by what I did, by what I had become."

"Way I heard it, you was doin all the right things. The bad things were done TO you, not BY you. Isn't that true, John?"

"Don't make no difference, it was still my body that was ruined by being used by a man. No, by all a them men."

"John, yours was the most beautiful body I ever saw, and your face too, but it's not what I fell in love with. I loved you, the man inside. Our son has the same good looks that you had, but his insides are beautiful. He's a good, loving man, John."

"Yeah, and look where it got him! The queers like his pretty looks, they got him, too, and converted him, damned if they didn't."

Claire turned her back on her husband, as sad a day as she thought she'd ever see. And she made up her mind.

"John, if that's really the way you feel, I don't want you here no more. The speech therapy seems to have done wonders, you're talkin' real well, but your mind and heart is still sick. I can't have you here, amongst my family."

"Claire, what the hell you talkin' about? This is my home!"

"Well, it was your home for many years, John. But you ain't welcome here no more. I want you to go someplace where they can fix you. Make you think right, make you human again. You used to be the sweetest man on earth. I miss my husband, my sweetheart, I been missing him for 'bout thirty-five years but I'm done with that now."

"No, Claire, for Christ's sake! Don't talk like that! That's crazy! You can't throw a man outa his home."

"Yes, John, I can. And I will." Her words were deadly, they were so quiet.

"What can I do to change your mind, Claire? Why'd you bring me home if you was just gonna throw me out? Please, don't do this thing! Goddamit Claire, be reasonable!"

"I brought you home, John, because Walter led me to believe that you were getting counseling. That you were listening to him, listening to reason. I had such high hopes of seeing my Johnny again, but I see I was wrong. My dear sweet Johnny is dead, he died back there in that motel in Childress, TX and I don't like the man who took his place all these long years ago. And I won't have it no more. No more."

The finality in Claire's voice told her husband that she was never more serious in her life. He knew she'd do it. The fear gripped him worse than any stroke he'd suffered had done. He had seen those old folks in the hospital and at the therapy place, the ones nobody came to see. The ones who may as well be faceless and nameless because nobody cared about them. He began crying and begging to stay, to have another chance. A chance to change, a chance to be her Johnny. If only she'd let him try.

"And Jack's daddy again?" she asked. "The daddy who picked up his son and took him everywhere with him? When all the boy had to say was 'Go, daddy, Go!' That daddy?"

"I swear to you, Claire, I'll do it. I'll do my best if you just give me another chance."

"No, John. I'm not inclined to believe you at this late date. I'll have to pray on this awhile. Put it in God's hands. I'm all out of forgiveness, husband. So if you are wanting to make promises and ask for more chances, ask Our Lord. I'm done. And I'll be askin' for forgiveness of my own, for allowing this to go on for so long."

"In the meantime, I'm thinking to call Walter and have him come get you outa here. Take you to his house where you can't do so much damage. I'm going in to read my scripture now, and probably lay my head down. I'm suddenly very tired."

She left him then; did not enquire if he had enough to drink, enough blankets, enough . . . anything. She just walked away.

After resting, and praying Claire felt a little better. She got herself a glass of iced tea and talked to herself about what was the right thing to do in this situation. Should she give him a chance to hurt more innocent people? Or turn her back on him without warning? Because she knew it was true, she had never spoken up before. Never told him where the boundary lines lay, where he may no longer cross over with his words and his deeds.

Claire called her brother and spoke with him, about her decision. Told him to be ready to receive his old friend, lock, stock and barrel if this experiment a hers didn't work out. She was puttin John on Probation, starting this minute.

Suddenly she remembered Bobby out in the barn brushing those horses. 'There won't be nothin' left of'em if he's still brushin' after all a this time', she thought. Opening the huge barn door and peering in, it took Gran a minute to let her eyes adjust to the shady cool interior. At first she didn't see him anywhere, but as she walked toward the stalls where the horses were quartered, she saw her grandson asleep; stretched out across two bales of hay in front of Grey's stall.

Looking at his teenaged face in slumber, Claire knew that Bobby had brought this change in her attitude today. No longer was it acceptable for John Twist to run roughshod over the feelings of everyone in his family. Now she finally knew the reason he had changed; but it was high time for him to get over it; or at least deal with it, and move on. Her growing family, newly formed, was so precious to her that nothing, not anyone or anything, was going to threaten it's existence. They were joined together by love, after all these years, and they were going to have their chance to stay that way.

Claire pictured her well loved new son and his daughters; it brought her joy to think of them playing and working together at her home. She visualized Jack bringing his own son home to live, and knew that she was happier than she had ever expected to be in this life. This was what a family unit was supposed to be, and Jack and Ennis had made it for her. She was not going to give up what they'd been building these past weeks, not if it took every bit of strength she could muster. And she could muster plenty if it came to that. She was a Grandmother and she had her family to care for and to protect.

Claire had been against it, years ago when they'd wanted to install a telephone out here in the barn. But now, she was happy they had overcome her objections. She answered the clamoring phone there in the front stall.

It was her Jack calling, saying they were leaving Riverton momentarily, and they should expect them in about an hour. "Tell Bobby to watch the sky, mama and then bring the pick-up. Have him drive my truck. We'll bring Ennis home by way of the old road, it's a lot smoother than that pasture for my Cowboy."

"I sure will son, you all be careful now. How is Ennis feeling, Jack? Oh, I can't wait to see you both! Your uncle Walter brought that bed over for Ennis today. I got him all set up in the parlor, next to your daddy."

"Okay, mama. Ennis is hurtin' some, but we'll fix him up, you'll see. Be home as soon as we can. I love you!"

"Oh Jackie, I love you too, son. Now you git along, I want you home under our own roof."

Jack had been swayed by gratitude and a surge of love for all that his mother was doing for them, and those words which he had never said to her over the telephone just popped right out of his mouth. Jack had no way of knowing how sorely she needed to hear those words on this very day.

Turning to Bobby, Claire saw that he was stretching and would soon be wide awake. Oh how much he looks like his daddy did at that tender age. "Bob, time to get up, shake a leg. Your daddy just called and they're on their way back. Be about an hour, he said. Need you to watch for 'em, Wants you to drive his pick up over there to get them. You awake now? 'Cause I'm going in to put the dinner in the oven. You can help me by bringing down some extra chairs, if you want."

While Bobby was occupied carrying chairs, Claire told John what she had decided. Said he was on Probation for an undetermined amount of time, and the only way he could secure a place in this household again, was to be civil to all the people under this roof.

"Civil" was the minimum level allowed, nothing less would be tolerated. She could have demanded "friendly" or "loving" but she was too realistic for that. Civil it is, for now. At last she said, "John, in case you don't understand what I mean by that, I mean you need to be respectful to each person that I've brought here into this home. Or you're gone. And that's it."

John was so angry at this sonavabitchin' turn of events that he could not speak, could not raise his eyes to look at her. Didn't know where he could look without wanting to bite something in half or spit. What was the world comin' to, when grandchildren sassed their elders, and women held sway over men! He fumed silently and cast his eyes down to the parlor floor. Seems he couldn't even have a decent fit of anger, she kept interrupting him, and talking to him.

"John, would you like to come to the table for supper with the family tonight?"

"No."

"Pardon, John?"

"No, Claire, thinkin' I'd rather have a tray here in my room. I'm right tired tonight. And kin ya pull the screen across, so's they cain't see me eat?"

"Of course I will, John, if yer that uncomfortable eating in front of folks."

Claire let out a long sigh, hadn't realized how hard she'd been holding her breath. She felt her shoulders begin to relax a tiny bit. Oh, how she could do with one of Ennis' shoulder rubs, right about now.

In a while, she heard Mauro's plane's engine and saw Bobby react. He came in and got his daddy's keys off the hook. She began to tick off everything she had wanted to do. The meal was ready and in the oven to keep warm. The table was set, drinks were in the refrigerator. Claire shook herself mentally, tried to calm her nerves. 'Stop yer pacin', they'll be here shortly.' she thought.

'Well finally! Here is the Famous sonofabitch in the flesh!' Both men, John C. Twist, and Ennis Del Mar had the same exact thought, at the same time.

They eyed each other warily, ready to jump if the other man so much as batted an eyelash.

"Hey Gran." sighed Jenny. They hugged while Bobby and Jack got Ennis maneuvered into the bed in the parlor. Claire rubbed her hair, and could feel the tension in her shoulders, as well. "Rough day dear?" she asked.

"A long rough day, Gran. None of us will be up late tonight, I.m sure."

Ennis was in a lot of pain with all the movement, they could tell from the furrows in his forehead. Not much else showed on his face, and not much of it was it's original color. He had been dressed to leave the hospital and make this trip, but Jack thought he'd probably be more comfortable out of his boots and jeans and so forth. Jack turned to look around for the duffle that Jenny had packed, and he looked so bewildered that both women went to him, and said they'd take it from here.

Claire approached her Ennis, and said, "Can I hug you, darlin'?"

Jenny came to the rescue. "Daddy hurts about everywhere on his body, Gran. He allows us to touch his right arm and hand, but even that was wrenched and slammed around, so we have to go gentle."

In an amazing replication of what Jack had done in the hospital, Claire took Ennis' right hand which he had raised to her, kissed his palm, then pressed his hand against her face. She was looking at him so lovingly, that John was instantly stung by the difference. She no longer looked at him that way. It surprised him how bad it hurt him to see that.

Jenny had found the right bag, and pulled out pajama bottoms, socks and an undershirt for her dad. Neither Ennis, nor Jenny, nor Claire wanted the women to start unbuckling his belt, and pulling off his clothes. So, they called for male help.

"Jack,you and Bobby want to help Ennis out of his boots and jeans, and into these p.j.s, please? I'm not going to bother him to wash him all over tonight. Tomorrow will be time enough."

Claire pulled the curtain stretcher, now Privacy Screen she had made for John, across in front of Ennis' bed, and went to help Jenny get moved in and to set up items for the sick room. She took Jenny's bag into her own bedroom and put it on a daybed she had borrowed from Iris. Walter brought it over to her, she had put fresh sheets on it this morning so Jenny wouldn't have to.

Jenny had found a stray magnet or two on Gran's refrigerator and stuck the schedule for her daddy's medicines and ice packs, and other treatments up there so all a them could keep up with it whatever he needed.

They could hear murmuring behind the screen, Jack asking Ennis if he wanted to wear the socks that Jenny had handed him; he did. They could also hear Ennis' grunts whenever it hurt too much to move, but move he must.

"You ready for this little blanket now, darlin'?" After Jack pulled the cover up over Ennis, he asked if that was enough, or did he want another blanket?

Fussing and loving, Jack was a sight to behold, and his daddy was the only person within range to behold him. Again the pang of jealousy hit him hard.

Gran asked Bobby to take Ennis' boots and clothing into her room, as she hadn't time to deal with them tonight. She'd take care of them in due time, but not right now. As Jenny walked in to put her sweater on her daybed, she saw Bobby kneeling on one knee, setting Ennis' boots next to Gran's chest of drawers. "Hey" she said shyly, then dropped her eyes.

Bobby stood, reached out his hand to her, and she clasped it. "Hey, sure glad to have you back here, Jen Jen. Seems like you been gone a month already."

"It's just been five days, silly."

"Yeah? Well, uh. . . I'm just sayin' . ."

Jenny took her hand back, and smiled at him. "Let's go help, Gran. Okay?"

As they walked out of the room, Jenny turned back to Bobby and told him "Feels real good to be back, Bob."

With Ennis somewhat comfortable, Gran asked Jack if he was due to have any medication now? Or could it wait till after they had eaten. And that of course begged the question, what and how was Ennis going to eat? Later.

All things in their own time.

Bobby had taken Jack's bag up to his room, and the pharmacy bags into the kitchen, so really the floor was free of obstructions, and they could settle down for a meal. But first Claire knew there was something that needed to be done, and she called everyone together at the foot of the sick beds.

The four able-bodied folks stood together. Claire began, "John, I'd like you to meet Ennis Del Mar, our new son, and this is his younger daughter, Jenny." John nodded wordlessly at them, meeting their eyes.

Ennis, this is Jack's daddy, and my husband, John Twist. Ennis tried to turn, as if to shake hands but could not do it, so raised his hand in a sort of wave.

"Jenny Del Mar, meet your grandpa Twist. You can work out another name between you, if you want."

With the formalities attended to, Claire suggested they put the meal on the table. She put herself and Bobby on that task. She sent Jenny to wash up; and assigned Jack to get his father and Ennis each a glass of water, and a fresh straw.

Jack looked over the sick room / parlor and saw nowhere to set a glass, so he went in search of a suitable table. In minutes he was back with the library table, no tellin' what had happened to the books that were on it up until one minute ago. He set it up between the two beds. It was the correct height to be useful for them. Jack saw that they were going to have to swap the beds around as Ennis only had use of his right hand, and couldn't reach a table between the beds. We'll do it later, after dinner he thought.

A new voice made itself heard then. John said "Jack, get Bobby; and you two men swap these beds around, will you? Otherwise your friend won't be able to reach his water glass."

"Sure, daddy. Good idea." he said. He and Bob made the change right away, and they found that it was a little thing, easily accomplished, but one that made a big difference.

Claire heard the suggestion and the tone of voice in which it was made. She bowed her head. "Lord if this is a sign, it's a welcome one. But I still ain't countin' my chickens. Amen."

The family, finally seated, held hands and Gran prayed; her usual praise and thankfulness even more pronounced, and her supplication for quick healing for all these loved ones, even more heartfelt. Amen.

They ate. The meal tasted wonderful. Hot, fresh, nutricious, but all that mattered was that it fueled their bodies so they could carry on with what needed doing. It was just Claire, Jack, Jenny and Bobby. They hadn't needed any extra chairs at all tonight. But hopefully in a few days they would. Each of them ate their fill, and then they all started cleaning up and putting food away, washing dishes, wiping down the stove, etc. Speedily the clean up was accomplished and they all sighed, ready for an early turn in.

Claire went to John's bedside and asked him if he needed to go to the bathroom, as she was planning on turning in right away. He did. He was unsure enough on his own because his sense of balance and even his depth perception were in question. He preferred having her there, just in case.

When they returned, she got his covers and shook them out, straightened them and inquired if he wanted an extra blanket across the foot of his bed, in case it turned cooler in the night. Yes, he would like that, thanks. When she was sure he had everything he needed, she said good night and patted his hand.

She turned to Ennis' bed and ran her hand down his good arm, saying "If I haven't said it before, I'm so glad you're here, sweetheart. I've missed you so. I know Jack is going to look after you, so I'll just say good night." But as

she began to walk away, Claire thought of a problem. Turning back, she said, "what if you need something in the night, you don't have any way to get our attention.?"

"He'll be fine, mama, I'll take care of it." Jack told her. He had no intention of sleeping away from his Cowboy now that they were in the same house, so he would help Ennis to walk upstairs to bed, or he would crawl into this narrow bed with him. Either way, Jack was going to be on hand for whatever Ennis needed.

Jack helped Ennis go to the bathroom, he got his bed time medicine and made sure he got enough with that dropper, got an ice pack, and asked Ennis whether he preferred to stay in the bed downstairs, or if he wanted to go up to their room. Of course, Ennis wanted to go up to their room for the night, he indicated by pointing upstairs with his good hand.

Jack helped him up the stairs because his sock feet were kind a slippery on the stairs, and he could only hold the banister gingerly, could not grip it, as he was too sore. Jack walked behind Ennis, and made sure he got up there safely. He always liked walking upstairs behind Ennis Del Mar, in any case.

Jack told Ennis all the loving things that were in his heart, but he didn't hardly dare touch him anywhere. Ennis stroked Jack's thigh, which was about all he could reach, lying flat on his back like he was. Jack could see Ennis' eye drooping, and knew he was going to sleep. Jack said, "Can I kiss you good night, Cowboy? I'll be real gentle, I promise!" Ennis scratched on Jack's thigh twice, expecting him to know that was a "yes."

He got up on his hands and knees, bent over Ennis' face, leaned in so lightly, a butterfly would have made more impact, and kissed his lips, hardware and all. Jack hummed against those lips, and all that hardware, thinking that it wasn't all that much different from his harmonica. "You got my harmonica in your mouth, Ennis? That what all that is?"

Jack was dog-tired, but he could really get into this thing about kissing Ennis. He got off the bed entirely, knelt on the floor at the foot of the bed, and took each of his Cowboy's feet, cuddling them, scraping his raspy stubble along the soles and kissing his instep, his arch, and his ankle bones. When he had lavished affection on both feet, he got back on the bed, looked into Ennis' face, and said, "I love you, boy. I ain't never gonna lose you, you hear me? No matter what, I ain't never gonna let you outa my sight again."

In answer, Ennis raised his right hand to Jack's face and traced a finger along the lips he loved to kiss. Jack kissed that finger tip, and said, "Okay, I know. Let's go to sleep now, baby." And with that, Jack lay down stiffly on his own side of the bed, flat on his back so as not to rock the mattress too much with Ennis hurtin' over there.

Neither man slept very deeply until almost dawn, but they were together and that meant more than almost anything else in the world. When they woke, they became aware that the fingers of their hands were interlaced between them on the sheets. They smiled.

Jack said, "Come on, Cowboy, let's get you downstairs, and ready for the day."

Jack came around the bed and assisted Ennis in sitting up and then standing. He preceded him down the stairs, and then turned and helped him into the bathroom. Ennis had the one good hand, so he could take a piss without assistance from his man. Jack filled the wash basin with warm water, he soaped up a cloth and washed Ennis all over, it would be a week or more before he could get into the bath tub or shower. Even after he could move that much, he wouldn't be allowed to get the cast wet. So, this was the best of both worlds, and besides, it felt great to have his hands all over Ennis' body. And Ennis sure liked it too, in the refreshing way.

While washing Ennis' face, neck and ears, Jack noticed that he still had dirt and blood in his hair. "C'mere Cowboy." he said, pulling Ennis over to the bath tub. 'Hm, how we gonna do this?' he wondered. He rooted around in the cabinet under the sink and found an old rubber hand shower thing and told Ennis to kneel next to the bath tub, up close to the faucet end. Even though Ennis could only comfortably bend his head a little, it was enough for Jack to wet his hair and lather it all up for him, massaging his scalp a bit, then rinsing it clean, all without getting water all over the bathroom floor.

Briskly rubbing Ennis' head with a towel, drying those curls, Jack empathized with how wonderful it feels to have someone shampoo you. "Aahh, doesn't that feel great, bud?" And Ennis rubbed Jack's head with his good hand in agreement, pushing his head up and down in a "yes" nod.

He swatted Ennis on the butt, and said "Go on now, I've got to get myself cleaned up. I'll feed you when I get out there."

As Ennis started to walk away, feeling clean from head to toe, Jack said "wait" and when Ennis turned around, Jack pulled his pants' elastic out and down a bit so he could nuzzle his face into Ennis' groin, hair and cock. "Don't think I ever saw you "at ease" so to speak" he said smiling up into Ennis face, even if that face was hardly recognizable. "I like you that way, too."

Being injured, but not dead, Ennis was no longer "at ease". Jack noticed, and was immediately overcome by his need for this man. "Aww, Cowboy, let me help you here." He began with gentle lips, kissing, then sucking a bit, ever watchful of Ennis' reaction. As he got no push away from his man, he continued, increasing the intensity, and improving his position and leverage until he was kneeling on the bathroom floor with both arms wrapped around Ennis' ass, pulling him into his mouth with greedy gulps.

No doubt about it, Jack Twist is good at what he does, and before long, Ennis was stuffing a bath towel against his face to keep his grunts and groans of pleasure from waking the household. His aftershocks were so amazing; then he felt exhaustion overtake him. He went and sat on the toilet lid, head hanging down, and tried to recover his equilibrium, his breathing, and his strength. Only now did he begin to be aware of his complaining ribs.

Jack knelt in front of Ennis, and rubbed his feet. "I'm so sorry baby, did I hurt you?"

Ennis took Jack's chin in his right hand, and shook his head back and forth, as in a negative answer. And with the sounds in his throat, he said "uh uh" to indicate that he wasn't hurt. He pulled on Jack to make him stand up, and with his one good hand, he started fondling Jack. Jack realized Ennis' intention, and told him "No, not now. We'll take care a me later, don't you worry. Okay?"

The other four people in the house would need time in this room, so Jack thought it best not to stay in there all morning. Besides, he didn't want to hurry any of his time with Ennis. They were together now, and he planned to make sure they stayed that way.

Sunday, June 26, 1983

'What agony', thought Ennis. He could smell the sausage western omelet casserole that Mom made, it was his favorite. Everyone had some, even old JC over here next to him. But he could only have "Ensure". Morning, Noon and Night, Ensure. Gag. 'Wadn't that bad, actually, but the same thing over and over for every meal was . . .' Ennis stopped his train of thought as a sweet, warm memory slid over him. _"Beans again?" bitched Jack. "Yep" Ennis replied between bites. He loved beans, and he loved bein' here on this cold mountain, and he loved…,couldn't remember ever feeling this happy. Never._

John called to Jack, "Your friend's been layin' here suckin' that same slop through a straw for over two weeks now. Think he would like it if you smooshed some a that omelet up and give him a tiny taste or two. Don't you?"

Jack walked into the parlor, to his daddy's bed. "Mighty nice a you to think about that, daddy. Bet yer right."

"Ennis, darlin', is my daddy right 'bout that? You hungerin' for somethin' else to taste? He knew he was teasin' Ennis with his double meanings, but he didn't plan to leave him unsatisfied, if the subject came up, so to speak."

Jack had his plate and his fork in his hands and seeing a look of interest in Ennis' eyes, proceeded to smash a nice bite of egg, He took the tiniest speck on a toothpick, and put the morsel inside the wires, hoping he was getting it on his tongue so he could at least have the taste. Jack watched as Ennis' throat moved, he saw him swallow it. "More?" Ennis looked up, so Jack prepared another tiny bit on the toothpick, same size, and repeated the process. Again he swallowed.

"That's it, Cowboy. Doc said you don't behave we could be havin' you pukin' an' nowhere for it to go. Uh, we don't even wanta go there. We'd have to take your wires off to save your sorry ass."

Jack continued, "Hope you did enjoy the taste, though, bud. But let's not risk your life over a nice bite of food. Okay? We can wait till those wires come off, right?"

By this time, Ennis was able to nod his head, and his eyes both sparkled in his somewhat less lumpy face. Jack had to assume that it was meant to be a smile. 'God, how I love this man.' he thought. Actually, if thoughts were seen in little idea boxes above our heads, there would have been two matching boxes at the same time. Ennis and Jack had each had that same thought, at the same time.

Jack said, "Maybe you should take a sip of your water, Ennis. Make sure your mouth and throat are clear now." And so he did.

Turning to his dad's bed, Jack said. "No matter, it was still nice a you to think of it, and ask for it for Ennis. By the way, you know, it's not like you haven't known his name for over twenty years. You can call him Ennis. You don't always have to say "your friend", daddy."

"Ungh." Was all the answer he got.

The next morning, John noticed Ennis was kind a restless, lookin' around and moving his legs a lot. He sat up on the side of his bed, facing his next door bed-mate, and asked, "What's wrong, Ennis?"

Shocked to be thus addressed, he looked at John, and pantomimed Writing.

"Oh, you want your writin' pad?" and Ennis nodded. He remembered Jenny had put it along with the pen in the drawer of their library table. It was within John's reach, so he opened the drawer and got out the paper and pen.

He slid them across their joint table till Ennis could reach them, and then watched to see what the young man would write. First he wrote, "thank U."

John nodded in acknowledgement. Then Ennis wrote, "want my clothes on."

Well, everyone in the family was busy elsewhere. Jenny was helping Gran weed the garden, and pick the tomatoes, cucumbers and green peppers that had ripened over the past two days. Bobby was mucking out the horse stalls and Jack was out seeing to the herd, at the moment. 'Sides, John had no earthly idea where they'd put that boy's clothes at. Or he'd gettem for him.

His brow, furrowed in thought, John looked at Ennis. "What'cha wantem for? Ain't goin' nowhere." Somehow, John could not understand why, that statement brought a big smile to Ennis Del Mar's eyes. _Ennis was lost in memory again, back on Brokeback Mountain in their early days, his and Jack's, when they were just gettin' to know each other, and to tease about things like a harmonica out of tune. He remembered he was messing with the tent and fussing that "it ain't right!" and Jack had come back almost with the same voice as old JC there, and said. "Well leave it alone. It Ain't goin' nowhere." _All the restlessness left Ennis, and he settled down and began to doze.

Then he remembered one more thing, wrote on his pad and showed it to John. "Do your exercise yet?" John replied, "No. You?" Ennis shook his head 'no'. So, John reached into their drawer one more time and pulled out the little rubber balls, his green one and the new red one for Ennis.

"Think you can catch it, Del Mar?" Surprised, Ennis looked up as John rolled the ball across their table in Ennis' direction. He caught it after fumbling with it, and John seemed to think that was good. Until, on a lark, Ennis shoved it back again, in the opposite direction. John had to think fast to grab it, and without a second's hesitation shoved it back at Ennis.

'I must be going bonkers', thought Ennis. 'Sounded like the old man giggled.'

Ennis settled into his routine, squeezing the ball, counting. Squeezing the ball, counting. Then he heard JC clear his throat, which didn't sound like it needed clearing. "You ever play checkers, Del Mar?"

TBC


	28. Chapter 28

A Better Idea

A/N: Annie's characters; My imagination.

This chapter is dedicated to my dear friend and fellow author latsacto.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Wednesday, June 29th, 1983

Ennis takes a walk at least once every day. At first not beyond the lane, then further and further each day. Jack didn't like it; thought he was risking a fall and further injury. But Ennis is not an indoor man, and rather than have him go stark raving mad, Jack relented, "But only" he said, "when someone is around to go with you." Most times it was Jenny. Often though, after getting Scarlet, Grey and Buck settled, with their stalls mucked out, fresh water and feed supplied, Bobby would ask Ennis if he was ready for his walk. Even though Ennis could not utter a word, Bobby treasured his time with his other dad. Not that he had risked calling him that again.

It got so that Ennis would anticipate Bobby being interested in a walk, so he would go out to the barn and wait while Bob finished up. He couldn't keep his hands off the horses for very long; soon he was helping brush one or the other of the horses. Within a few days, his stamina increased to the point that he took over all the brushing. He did this while Bob finished up the mucking and the feeding.

One-armed brushing wasn't bad; it was good exercise and it got Ennis into the place he felt most comfortable. The old familiar smells of horses, hay, dust and manure combined to link Ennis with his past while building his new habits in this new place. It was still painful for Ennis to bend over at the waist, his ribs not allowing him that freedom yet. He brought Bobby to each one of the horses and demonstrated how to check the hoof and shoe, how to feel their skin and muscles, to look in their eyes, ears, and also to smell their breath.

Ennis couldn't speak, so Bobby narrated what was being done every time and by doing so, imprinted in his own mind, what was required on a daily basis to keep up with the health and well-being of the horses under his care.

After a while, John began to notice that everyone was busy except him; he got to where he was lonely when the family left the house for chores in the morning. So he took to wandering out to the garden, checking on Claire and Jenny. He even picked off a few bugs, pinched back a few tomato suckers, and pulled a few weeds. And then as if he had nothing on his mind, but the weather, he would walk out to the barn and catch the activity going on out there. He noted with satisfaction the things Ennis was teaching Bobby. He saw how glossy and fine Buck looked, and was satisfied that he was getting ample attention. It did rankle though, to see how Buck nuzzled Ennis' neck.

John and Ennis both came to the table for meals now, no more balancing trays in bed. Ennis was still on a liquid diet, but he liked the congenial atmosphere of being at table, and he especially liked the prayers. Well, truth be told, he liked the part where they all joined together and held hands. For Ennis there was a flow of sweetness around that family table that he had never felt anywhere else.

Places at table had been settled for years, but with all the new family members, John worried that he would not be at the head of the table anymore. Probation or no, he was still the head of the family, and he didn't want to lose his accustomed place. He traditionally sat facing the door; Claire always sat to his left, closest to the kitchen, which made sense, and had just been the way it always was. Jack sat on his dad's right, across from his mama after graduating from the high chair, when he was old enough to sit on a chair by himself. So, for seventeen years, this was where they sat.

When Jack brought Ennis home, he had somehow moved to the foot of the table, sitting with his back to the door. Ennis sat to his left, across from Claire. That worked fine and they were able to reach across at prayer times. Jenny gravitated to her daddy's left hand side, and Bobby liked sitting next to Gran. This arrangement left John in his favorite place. When they had their prayer before meals, this meant that Bobby was holding JC's hand and his Gran's which he thought kind of traditional, and for that reason it was acceptable. 'Sides, he was across from Jenny and could look at her all he wanted without being obvious about it. There were no discussions about these places, they just were. And that's the way it stayed.

A week or two ago, Gran had pulled all the sheets and towels from all over the house, and wanted to get an early start on washing them, knowing it would be many hours of hanging out and drying before she could begin to put all the beds back together even with sweet Jenny's vitality and her inate helpfulness. As if he did it every day of his life, or any day for that matter, John said, "Claire, you and Jenny go ahead and git after your washing. I'll clean up this table and wash the dishes."

Every face turned toward the head of the table, every eye wide. Who was this man, and what did he just say? "WHAT?" he said, when he saw them all staring at him. "Act like I ain't never . . " he couldn't keep it up. Cracked a smile and almost sounded like he was chuckling. "Aw, you all go on about your business now." So they did. And John cleared the table, washed and dried the dishes (he didn't know Claire preferred them air dried) and cleaned everything in sight. He even swept the floor. 'Good to be busy.' he thought.

After that, John adopted the cleaning and washing up as his part of the day's work. He found he enjoyed it. Couldn't cook worth a lick, so he was grateful that there was something he could contribute that he could do well. Thinking it was a shame to waste good water, he carried a pail of dishwater out to Claire and asked her if she wanted it on her garden, "Yes, John, thank you."

From then on, he carried a full pail of dishwater to the garden following most meals. He was saving water and at the same time, building back some muscle that had atrophied while he was laid up in the hospital. He took to stopping at the edge of the garden and hefting the full pail with his right hand. He wasn't able to lift it very high, nor hold it long, but he improved every day.

Most mornings, Walter stopped by. Sitting on his new front porch, John talked about going to that Counselor that he'd had in the hospital; had liked her fine. But too far to go on any kind of regular basis, not to mention way too expensive.

Walter began to wonder if he couldn't work something out. Back down the road toward Rocky Point there's this little Community Center. Fancy word for just a small building, and a few swings and slides. Has a nice flag pole though. Anyway, what Walter had in mind was something that maybe could benefit the entire community. What if that counselor, or a different one, or even a rotation of them, could come a couple times a month, or once a week, and see folks out here, probably a lot more people than just John Twist had some issues to talk over. Anyway, now that Walter had that germ of an idea, he would get right on it when he got back to the house.

On this day, Walter was rambling on about a cook-out he was planning for the 4th of July, less than a week away on the following Monday. 'Course most folks celebrated the whole long weekend, and he and Iris were expecting to have a houseful. "Iris is doing up every bed in the house, and setting up a couple extra ones, as well" Walter claimed.

"The Cattlemen's is doing their thing too, of course, but we just have too many irons in the fire to go this weekend" he told John.

"You hear anything from Harold lately?" John asked Walter.

"Now I think about it, Iris said Margaret called; they might be back here this weekend. I hope so, almost forgot what my brother looks like. Still ugly, though, I imagine!"

"From the sound a that thunder, storm'll be on us within the hour, Johnny. I gotta git on home, Iris don't like me out drivin' when these big storms hit. She wanted me to help her move some stuff around this morning for our guests that are comin'. So, guess I'll see you at the cook-out, then"

"What?" asked John.

"Aha! Claire didn't tell you, then? They always say we don't listen, Johnny boy, so which is it? If I had to bet, I'd bet Sis told you, an' you forgot to listen. Your family is coming to our cook-out. There. You been told." Walter smiled at his old friend, clapped him on the back, and hurried to his truck anxious to get home and beat the storm.

Sure enough, it was a Frog Strangler, blowin' sideways and thunderin' to beat the band. Frequent bolts of lightning kept the sky lit up and cast a greenish glow on everything around.

Gran looked up from the embroidery piece she and Jen were working on. "I sure am glad we got all those vegetables in. They'd a been smashed to bits."

She looked admiringly at bushel baskets, cardboard boxes, even large stew pots, stacked around the kitchen counters and floor, holding tomatoes, green beans, squash, okra, cucumbers and carrots.

Earlier today, Grandpa and Jenny carried box after box of Ball wide mouth canning jars and lids from the barn into the kitchen. They washed every single one of them in hot, sudsy water and left them to air dry. Because there was no room left to put them anywhere, they packed all the jars back in their boxes and stacked them in the corner of the dining room.

While they were working together in the hot steamy kitchen, Jenny turned to Mr. Twist and asked him if he cared one way or the other, what she called him. He was so surprised by the concern in this girl's eyes, that he needed to grab a chair and sit down right quick. She got a chair too, and pulled up almost knees to knees with him, and explained her problem earnestly. "See I got a grandpa. My mama's daddy is Grandpa Beers. And I know you ain't my real grandpa, but Gran wants me to call …"

John put up a hand to stop her. Said "Oh my goodness Jenny. You don't need to explain nothing to me. Have you thought what would be best? What you'd like to call me?"

She blushed and nodded. "I been thinkin' maybe Poppa. Would you like that, or not? It's okay, I can come up . . . "

There was a soft, old handkerchief, clean, ironed and folded into John's hip pocket. He reached for it right quick, and dabbed at his eyes. Not that there was anything there, mind you. He put the hanky back in his pocket and took her hands that were on her knees, patiently waiting for an answer. "I do think you've come up with the perfect name. I will be honored to have you call me Poppa, Jenny."

Since the storm had made them all dash around madly and then start work on Rainy Day projects, they had not told anyone yet of their decision.

Gran said, "See Jenny, for your French knot, bring the thread up through the cloth where you want it to be at, hold the thread down there with your left thumb and circle the thread twice with **.." **

"Oh, I see how you're doing that, let me try, Gran."

John was leafing through a seed catalog and squeezing the green ball.

The wind howled and the lightning flashed. Couldn't even see out the windows it was coming down so hard.

Jack had started a list of all the things he needed to buy the next time he got over to Sundance to that Feed and Seed store. He was chewing on the end of his pencil, deep in thought.

Ennis was getting bored with his exercise routine. He decided to call Junior and see how everything was going with her; maybe see if she and Kurt could come up for the Holiday week-end. He walked over and picked up the telephone. Listened to the dial tone, and then placing his finger in the hole above the zero, he circled the dial, and waited for the Operator to come on.

"Yes, hello," he said. "I'd like to call Riverton, Wyoming. The number is .."

Jack jumped like he was shot. "WHAT THE HELL do you think you're doing?"

He grabbed the handset from Ennis' grip, and placed it back down on the old black telephone. By this time, he had everyone's attention.

Ennis stammered, "Jack, what. . "

"You tryin' to get your dumbass kilt? Jesusgawdalmighty, ENNIS!"

Ennis looked so perplexed, he was still standing by the phone, stock still.

"And get your ass away from there, please. WHY do you think they call this place LIGHTNING FLAT? Cause the lightning has knocked everythin' around here flat. And it would FRY you ASS in a split second, thinkin' you was a lightning rod, for sure." Jack was breathing like a freight train, it had scared him so bad.

"You don't have to treat me like a child Jack, you coulda just told me." Ennis was getting angry, and the red was climbing up his neck. He was goddamn sick and tired of being treated like an invalid, well, deservedly so. But he was tired of BEIN' an invalid. Frustration caused him to be resentful now.

All eyes in the room were on Ennis and Jack.

"Daddy ! What's this?" asked Bobby.

Jack's seventeen year old son was standing on the stairs holding up a hanger with two shirts on it.

TBC


	29. Chapter 29

A Better Idea

A/N: Annie's characters; My imagination.

For bbmiswear

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Wednesday, June 29th, 1983

Sure enough, the storm turned out to be a Frog Strangler, blowin' sideways and thunderin' to beat the band. Frequent bolts of lightning kept the sky lit up and cast a greenish glow on everything below.

Bobby loved storms, felt the power all around; the electricity in the air. But daddy had taught him well. Up here in Wyoming, you're so high up and totally exposed to the weather. You don't never stand in a window or doorway and watch the lightning, and you don't never get near a telephone nor a telephone pole in a storm like this one.

All across the horizon, as far as the eye can see there are telephone poles, and the lightning will strike anything sticking up high, like a tent pole, or a telephone pole, and radiate right down that pole seeking ground. It's even been known to jump to a person standing near a pole, to continue it's path to ground. It'll find the path of least resistance, and it just loves a human body to shoot through. Electrocution usually means death, daddy said. No second chances. Bobby had been warned.

So, having had "the talk" about storms, Bobby wanted to do something fun while they were stuck indoors. He watched Gran and Jenny working on their sewing stuff; they acted like it was great fun. It looked B o r i n g !

Daddy was concentrating on making his feed list. Ennis was working on his jaw exercises, now that he had some of the rubber bands off. Even JC was busy looking at a seed catalog and doing his exercise.

He sat on a chair near Gran and Jenny; he kept kicking the chair leg, and tapping his fingers on the table. Gran looked disapprovingly at him.

Jenny just kind of smirked in his direction. "Don't you have anything to do, Bobby?" she asked.

"Nuh uh" he said dejectedly.

"Want to read my book?"

"What's it called?"

"Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret. It's real good", she said, "it's by Judy Blume. Oh, and I have a new one, it's called Forever."

Bob could hear the men snickering. "No thanks."

Gran remembered something. "Jackie, don't you have The Call Of The Wild upstairs somewhere? I bet Bobby'd enjoy that."

Jack mumbled something unintelligible.

Gran wanted Bobby to have a satisfying time even though he was stuck inside due to the weather. "Hey Bob, you got all those boxes to unpack. From your mama. Was real nice a her to ship all that up here. Had so much goin on when they got here last week, I had your dad 'n Ennis put them in storage along the attic wall in their room. Can't all be clothes, might be some a your fun things too. Why don't you go do that? It's goin to need doin sooner or later anyway. Take those boxes in your own room, unpack them. Fix your room up yourself, make it look like it's your own, and not your daddy's, huh?"

So, that's what he did. Found stuff he'd forgotten he had. It was almost like Christmas morning. True, he'd been just fine up here without all this stuff, but it was fun to open it up and remember. Problem was, it brought back the memories of living in Childress, in the house with Mom and Dad.

He hadn't really been thinking about that much; it was all he could do everyday to think about the here and now. But seeing these books, pictures, ribbons, baseball trophies, well it brought his whole previous life flooding back. Imagine. Bobby felt as if he were looking at the life of a child he'd once known. Bore no resemblance to himself. A different person now.

Heaving a resigned sigh he decided to get busy and unpack all this stuff. He began by going into dad's room. He remembered seeing some extra hangers in there. Got them and started hanging up his shirts and pants.

These clothes brought thoughts of high school. Soon he'd have to register for his senior year, but this time it would be at Crook County Consolidated. Brad and Kyle were going to take him over and show him around on Monday. They had it all planned out. They'd show him the locker rooms, classrooms and labs. Said they'd show him where to find the lunch room, too. Most important, they're going to show him the Cougar Trophy Case in the front hall by the Prinicpal's Office. Said they had something to prove this year, and hoped to have his help on it.

Bobby thought he might go out for football. If he did, that would mean starting practice real soon. Maybe he wouldn't, depending on how dad 'n Ennis felt about the time away from chores, and the transportation and all. He made a mental note to talk to them about it today. He was going out for baseball though, no question about that.

All the while his mind was off musing and roaming the halls of an unknown high school, Bob kept hanging up clothes, shaking them real good, hoping Gran wouldn't make him iron them.

One box held socks, underwear, sweaters; he found it was all folding clothes. He checked the one dresser in the room and found it still held a bit of his dad's stuff, old or new, Bobby didn't know. But he took it all out and put it across the hall, on top of a box. Didn't see no dresser, so he just stacked it for the moment. He began moving his own things into the drawers, noting that the newspaper Gran had used to line the drawers was from 1961. Oh, that is so funny. He sat on the floor reading old comics and advertisements from the time when his daddy was the exact same age he is now. 'My dad read this when he was 17. I sure can't imagine daddy being 17. No way.' thought Bobby.

Opening yet another box, Bobby's eyes went wide. 'Oh, mama, I can't believe you bothered to ship all this crap! This ugly suit, and those other dress pants with the pleats. You know I always hated them.' Bobby was inwardly railing at his mother, now what in the world was he going to do with these? 'Gotta ditch'em, that's for sure.'

He laid the hated clothing aside till everything else was in place. He took his daddy's items: couple airplanes, a horse and rider, two books, and some blue ribbons, over to his dad's and Ennis' new room. 'Looks like they have some furniture issues, same as I do. That damn little old bed, I'm still in it. 'Course nobody expected Ennis to be hurt bad, and need care, and everything to turn upside down like it did.' Bobby's mind kept up a running commentary.

When his room proudly showed off his own possessions, he felt good; better even than he had expected. One thing of his dad's he kept in there was that little gun in the gun rack. Looked home made, that rack. And he wondered if daddy would tell him the story.

Bobby thought he would ask to buy a new corkboard, have a place to pin up ribbons and notes. Reminders about assignments and stuff. Whew, he stood up, dusted his hands across his pant legs and looked around. 'All done except those hideous clothes, mama whatever were you thinkin'?' He had enough hangers left so he fitted the clothes on hangers and took all the hangers, holding them high up above his head, looking for a place to stick them where he wouldn't have to see them and they would not be discovered by daddy or Gran. 'They'd probably like'em and make me wear'em, just like mama did!'

Noting that his dad's boots, some jeans and a coat or two were still in the closet, Bobby just shoved it all far back on the rack. 'I know daddy has no closet space yet. They'll buy a wardrobe or somethin', meantime it ain't hurtin' nothin' here. Got plenty a room.' he thought generously.

'Aha! Here's a nice little hidey hole if I ever saw one. Looks like daddy had something he didn't want to wear too, jes' like me. Move it a second, yeah, and put mine back in there, outa sight. Heh heh, what is this? Kinda dark in here in this closet.'

Bringing his mystery item over and holding it up to the window, he could see that it was just a couple a shirts. Nice denim one, other one light colored. 'Why would daddy stick these back in the back? Eeewww, what's all over the sleeves?' Bobby wasn't sure what he had here.

He clomped down the stairs in typical teenaged boy fashion, and stopping on the second to last step, held them up for Jack to see.

'Oops, maybe I shoulda waited. Looks like daddy 'n Ennis are having words.' But too late! His mouth was open and the question was coming out.

"Daddy ! What's this?" asked Bobby

Jack tore his eyes away from Ennis' face, knowing he'd have hell to pay for the way he handled this, his fear had overtaken his brain on this one. He turned to look, saw what Bobby had in his hand . . . . and everything went black.

Jack hit the floor like a rock. He did not softly crumple down, he went down Bang. Hit the side of his head.

Claire went to get a cloth, and doused it with cold water. Waving his hands around, John said "Claire maybe you should get a cold rag for him."

Ennis sat on his knees beside Jack, holding his head up and watching a bump rise on his temple. He wondered 'What the hell just happened?' "Hey, Jack!

Darlin' what's the matter? Can you hear me?" Ennis called softly as he patted Jack's cheek. He took the cold rag from Mom and began running it all over Jack's face and neck.

Bobby had dropped the hanger and raced to his dad as soon as he saw his eyes roll back.

Jack opened his eyes and saw five pairs of eyes looking back at him. "What's goin' on?" he asked. "Why's everybody starin' at me?" Then he realized he was on the floor, and memory came flooding back. The tears began to roll out of his blue eyes and down his cheeks. Well, that just about flummoxed every one of them.

Sniffling, he wriggled and told Ennis, "Let me sit up, baby."

Looking at Bobby, he said "go gettem, bring'em over here." When Bobby looked confused, he said, "the shirts; bring'em to me son."

Ennis held a supporting hand behind Jack's back, and said "You wanta stand up, bud? Git up, sit in a chair?"

Jack's answer surprised them all. "No, and you may wanta sit down here on the floor with me, Cowboy." Ennis eased himself to the floor beside Jack.

Looking at Bobby, Jack said, "Son, hand that hanger to Ennis, if you will."

Jack was silent, giving Ennis a moment to absorb what he was holding. Ennis didn't need that long.

By this time, Gran saw what all the commotion was about and she knew. She had known for over twenty years what was hanging in the back of Jack's closet. And what it meant.

John said, "What is it?"

Jenny looked from one face to the other and just looked confused.

Bobby wondered if he was in big trouble, but somehow he didn't think so.

Ennis eyes reacted just like Jack's, the tears started rolling down his face, but he smiled so big, and he took Jack in his arms as best he could considering all the plaster of paris he had to contend with, and kissed him for all he was worth. in consideration of his wires, he kissed him gently.

Ennis was the unexpected spokesman. Jack had been holding this secret for over two decades and he was still crying, his hand holding Ennis's hand, and rubbing the shirts. Ennis began, "ya'll might wanta sit down for a minute. What Bobby found . . . .where were these, Bob?"

"Uh, hidden in the back a daddy's closet. Well, now my closet."

"What Bobby found is the two shirts Jack 'n me was wearin' the day we had to bring the sheep down from Brokeback Mountain in 1963. The blood on the sleeves here, is mine. I couldn't face coming down offa that mountain. I knew what people would think of us. I fell in love with a man up there, and we were not going to be able to be together anymore, like we had been for two months. I knew that, and I was just crazy with grief. Jack, my darlin' Jack, tried to tease me out of it, he lassoed me, and said we had to go. But we got to wrasslin' and I just lost it. Turned mean and angry, I wanted to stay up there that bad. My nose got bloodied. . . . " at that, they both rubbed their fingers across that old blood, and Ennis took those sleeves together, and rubbed them down his face. His crying got worse for a time.

Ennis looked at Jack. "You hung my shirt inside a yours, darlin'."

"Ennis, you know I wanted my arms around you always, to love you and protect you. This was the best I could do." They put their foreheads together, unable to continue for a minute.

John C. Twist was gulping back tears into his throat, and knew he'd have some thinkin' to do about what this meant.

Jenny was reeling from the impact of her calculation. '1963, they fell in love, so they were 19. Junior's age. Only they have stayed apart all these years 'cause someone somewhere said it wasn't right for two men to love each other. This can't be right. There's something I'm not understanding. There has to be more to it. Who would have that much power?'

Ennis regained his voice, and continued, "Like I said, Jack was trying to jolly my out of my sadness, we wrassled and my nose got bloodied. We both put our sleeves up to my face to stop the blood, and this is how both sleeves got like this. We each changed our shirts, not speaking to each other. Well, there's one thing I need to tell ya, about that. I hit him. I hit my Jack right in the face. I hit my Jack. He wasn't expecting that and I put a bruise on him that woulda lasted awhile… " Ennis was sobbing so hard it was pretty hard to understand what he was saying.

Gran said, "Yeah, on his left cheek. It did last awhile, but not as long as the other hurts."

Ennis reached over, pulled Jack's face to him and kissed the spot on Jack's left cheek that he had bruised so long ago. "I'm sorry for hitting you, Jack, for taking my pain out on you, my darlin' " Jack just nodded, and smiled at Ennis "I know that, baby."

Ennis' attention returned to the family members in the room around them. "Anyway, we finally made it down that mountain, not talking, slipping and sliding and feeling like our lives were going down the chute with us, and not knowin' anythin' we coulda done about it, at all. Got the sheep back, we got paid, and then it was time to leave each other."

"We just kept standing there, waiting for the other one to think up a miracle; think a some way we could stay together, but neither of us could. And we parted. This was the hardest thing either one a us ever had to do in our lives, I guess."

Ennis took a deep breath, and sighed. "I asked Jack if he'd seen my shirt, I couldn't believe I'd left it up on that mountain. Didn't have too many shirts, in them days, you understand. I was kinda watchin' my pennies."

Everyone laughed, knowing nothing had changed in that department.

"Never knew till today, that my romantic man, my love, my Jack, had stolen my bloody shirt to have as a keepsake." He put his good arm around Jack and squeezed him as tight as he could, that damn cast in the way. With his arm still around Jack, Ennis looked up at Bobby, and softly smiled at him. "Thank you, son. Thank you for delivering this gift from the past. It's so very special to me."

Looking at Jack, Ennis said, "Got anythin' to say for yourself, Twist? You dirty, low-down shirt thief?"

Soberly Jack raised his eyes to Ennis' face and said, "Yeah, I do. I loved you so much then, Ennis; and I love you so much more, now. I can't imagine how much more I'll love you in another twenty years."

Claire noticed that her husband had lost the battle with his tears, and they were rolling unchecked down his face even though she knew he had a clean handkerchief in his back pocket. She went to him, handed him his own hanky and took him in her arms. "Didn't have nothin' to do with nobody convertin' anybody, did it?" he asked her amazed. "No, it didn't, John. It had to do with the right two people finding each other, sweetheart."

Everyone was lost in their own thoughts and feelings, and had turned away from Jack and Ennis.

"Please don't ever leave me, Ennis. Promise me that you won't make me hurt like that again, make me hang onto some old shirts again, some old memories again to survive, to try to keep my sanity. Not now, not after all we've been through, especially these last two months together."

Ennis struggled to his feet, his cast making him feel off balance. Without answering Jack's last remarks, he pulled Jack to stand up beside him. "Uh, folks, could you all gather round please?" Jahn, Claire, Bobby and Jenny all turned toward the couple now standing, and waited.

I have something to say to Jack, and I'd like you all as our witnesses.

Ennis turned Jack to face him, took Jack's hand in his good one, and then thinking of something important, picked up the shirts and placed them over their joined hands.

He said, "I, Ennis Del Mar, take you Jack Twist, to live with, as my Love, My Life Partner, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, forever and ever without end. I make this solemn vow before these witnesses. Our bloody shirts signify our past, these family members signify our future, and the rest is up to us."

Jack thought, 'Damn! He really did it! I can't believe this is happening! Here I am tear-streaked and sporting a lump on my head. My hair's probably stickin' up all over too. I always thought I'd look better if I got married again.' He was just grinning from ear to ear and hanging onto Ennis' hand.

Bobby cleared his throat. "Uh, Dad? Y'got anythin' YOU wanta say to Ennis?"

Ennis was still standing there, facing Jack, holding his hand, waiting and wondering what would happen next.

Jack's face turned somber, then thoughtful. Looking into Ennis' brown beautiful, love-filled eyes, he said "I, Jack Twist, take you Ennis Del Mar to live with, to love with, and to be my Life Partner, my Husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or health, for all time, never ending, into eternity. I make this vow to you Ennis, and before these witnesses, our family and our shirts. Forever, Amen.

Ennis just stood there, amazed at the beautiful heartfelt words Jack had said and let the love course through his veins, in pure happiness. Jack was looking so deeply into him with those blue eyes, the blue of the ocean, while their vows solidified in their hearts.

Nobody moved. It was quiet. Until Bobby said, "You may kiss the Grooms."

And they did. Putting the shirts over his shoulder, Ennis took Jack in his one good arm and one cast and gave him the most romantic kiss - but Jack pulled away. He said, "Not like that, Ennis. C'mere." And he put his arms around Ennis too. So, the two equal Life Partners, both Husbands, held each other, and kissed their first official married/committed kiss.

Everyone, including John, clapped. Gran said, "I think we need a wedding supper now. Jenny let's see what we got that we can celebrate with. I wonder if we still have some a that cherry cake?"

Jack said, "C'mere, baby." as he pulled Ennis over by the door, away from the others.

Ennis nuzzled his face, "What?"

"Look at me, Ennis!" Ennis raised his eyes to Jack's face.

"This ceremony we just had, it's official enough for me. It's my life being handed to you, Ennis. But . . ."

"Now you're going to put conditions on it, Twist?"

Ennis didn't know whether to start getting riled yet, or wait to hear what his husband had to say. Guessed he'd wait, since he never had a husband before.

Jack took Ennis' face in his hands, put their foreheads together, and said, "The day EVER COMES when two men can stand in front of the judge, or the justice of the peace, and get legally married, in front of god, and the world, you and me are gonna be first in line. You hear me, Del Mar?"

Ennis said, "Yes, sir, darlin' !" And then he added, "Is that the day you're gonna take my name, Jack?"

"Ha, you'll take MY name, dumbass!"

"Jack, I got something serious I wanta say to you. I love you with all my heart, and I'm happy we got married an' all, but I am angry as sin about somethin' too!"

"What's that, baby?"

"This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation!" said Ennis under his breath in deference to the women in the room.

"What is, baby?"

"Jack Twist, you know as well as I do, that this should be our FUCKIN' 20TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, and not our Wedding Day. We shouldn'ta been apart all those years, making those fishin trips, hidin our love from the world, drinkin' our lonely selves to death. We shoulda had our wedding in 1963, Jack!"

And Ennis cried bitter tears of loss and anger at living in a world of judgement and hatred. Part of the anger was aimed at himself, for buying into the bullshit all those years. Anger at himself too, for hurting Jack, as well as himself.

When Ennis would let him, Jack held him tightly, saying "I know, baby, It's alright, C'mere. Shh. It's alright." When his tears were calmed, and he only had a few hiccups and shudders left in him, Jack let him go and walked over to the Buffet. He picked something up and brought it over to Ennis.

"Ya know I agree with everything you have said, Ennis. Then look here; this is all I can say about those 20 years, darlin'. "

Jack turned over the object in his hand to show Ennis. It was a picture frame that held the school pictures of Junior, Jenny and Bobby. Gran had put all three kid's latest picture in the same frame. "You feel better now? Not sayin' it was right, us bein' apart. I am saying, we wouldn't have these kids we have now."

"You pack a powerful argument, Twist. You know I wouldn't trade my kids for nothin', not a million dollars. Is that why I love you so much?"

"Yep, that's it." laughed Jack, "That and the fact that you can't help yourself, can't keep your hands offa my ass, neither!"

They went in to their wedding supper.

Not too long after the Wedding Supper, the newlyweds went upstairs to their room. They hung the shirts on a hook where they could see them, and marveled at all this day had held.

Jack said, "Ya know the only reason I agreed to marry ya, dontcha?"

"Fer my money?" asked Ennis.

"Nope." said Jack, gonna make my own money.

"Ta keep me from cryin' like a little girl?"

"Nope, too late fer that a long time ago."

"Then why?" asked Ennis

"So we could have a Wedding Night! You know how long I been waitin' for you to get well, Ennis Fuckin Del Mar?"

They stripped their clothes off quickly, being very experienced at it, and dropped them on the floor. As they got into bed, they heard something rolling across the floor. What the…?

Jack flipped the lamp on, and Ennis walked over to the corner of the room to retrieve the blue agate that had rolled out of his pocket.

"What the hell is it, Ennis?

"Just a marble."

"Where'd it come from, Cowboy?"

"My pocket."

"And what pray tell, is my new husband (pause. . .sigh) carrying a marble around in his pocket for?"

"Well, husband, (pause . . smile. . .sigh) it belonged to my daddy."

"Uh, husband darlin', (smile) thought you wadn't too keen on your daddy."

"Ain't."

"Then why?"

Ennis sighed, got up and walked around to Jack's side of the bed, and held the marble up to the lamplight. "What color is that, husband?"

"I guess blue, why?"

"Yer right, turns out it's the same color as my husband's eyes. That's why I been carrying it in my pocket all this time."

"C'mere ta me, you romantic man." said Jack.

After they made sweet wedding night love, they held each other in bed and felt like the luckiest people in the whole entire world.

"How long you been carrying that agate, Ennis?"

"Oh, not long, Jack. Found it in my mom and dad's trunk. Saw what it reminded me of, and felt I'd like to have it with me always. Not for him, but for you. It was about the same time as I bought you that red heart key chain."

"I love you, Mr. Twist." Jack said to Ennis.

"Oh, I love you more, Mr. Del Mar!" Ennis said to Jack.

TBC


	30. Chapter 30

A Better Idea

A/N: Annie's characters; My imagination.

Chapter Thirty

Thursday, June 30th, 1983

Waking up on their very first day of married life together, Ennis and Jack looked over and grinned at each other. Ennis pulled on Jack with his one good arm, and Jack fitted himself up against him, his head on his shoulder. He turned his face up for a long, sweet gentle kiss.

"Ah, old married folks now. Time was, my man was crazy-ass wild about me, would devour me with his mouth, wrap his arms around me tight as could be. Guess the honeymoon's over." taunted Jack.

Ennis just smiled. "jes' you wait, boy. I get these wires off, and this cast off, ya won't be safe within two miles a me. I'll wear that ass out every night, Twist!"

"Promises, promises." Jack smirked, knowing it was true. In the meantime, he reached down to caress Ennis' growing erection. As usual, he had perfect access. Ennis wore those sleep pants around the family, but in the privacy of their room, the sleep pants hit the floor and he slept naked, summer and winter.

"Wished to hell we had us a bathroom right up here; got plenty a room fer one." griped Ennis.

Taken aback, Jack said "What brought that up? Thought we was gettin' somewhere, here." And to indicate where "here" was, he leaned down and kissed Ennis' semi hard cock.

"Well, we are, bud, but I gotta piss! I'm on a liquid diet, r'member? Yum! Applesauce, jello and Ensure fer my weddin' supper, whoo whee, can't beat that with a stick! Know you was jealous, had to eat yer meat loaf, mashed p'tatas, green beans and uh, whut was that other thing? OH! Cherry cake!"

"And f'I run downstairs to the bathroom now, someone'll likely be up and around, and then I come back up here for a couple hours . . . What'll they think?"

Getting out of bed, Jack threw a look over his shoulder, "They'll think we're on our fuckin' honeymoon!" Turning fully back to face Ennis, with a big grin he said "They'll think we're on our honeymoon, fuckin'." Jack thought that was the cleverest thing he'd ever said. Chuckling, he started looking though the items in the attic storage area.

Behind him, Ennis was laughing as best he could around those wires at his goofy-assed husband, and enjoying the view immensely as Jack bent over, moving stuff around. "Get back over here, Twist, what're you doing? You can't abandon me like this, s' against the . . uh . . marital code!"

Jack looked across the room at his dumbass husband, He was in quite a good mood this morning, cracking lame jokes, and bitching about his liquid diet. Jack knew if the tables were reversed, that he would have gone stark raving mad by now, not being able to eat solid food. Ah, look here, he found an ice cream maker! 'Bet Ennis would surely like some ice cream better than most a that glop he has ta eat right now.' he thought, pulling the box aside for the moment.

Searching a bit further, Jack hit pay dirt. "AHA! I found your chamber pot, yer Highness!"

Ennis Del Mar knew what a chamber pot was. Many folks he knew growin' up, did not have indoor plumbing, or even if they did, they did not have it upstairs. So rather than go to the outhouse in the middle of the night, they kept a pot upstairs to piss in, when it was inconvenient to go out. He looked with interest at what Jack had found. He was hopin' it wasn't one a those fancy, ceramic ones with painted flowers and such.

Well aw'right. Jack found a white n' black enamel pot and lid, that was made to be used in a full sized wooden chair. Folks sometimes kept them in a sick room or bedroom. Jack didn't find the chair to go with it, but no one could say they didn't have a pot to piss in!

Gratefully, Ennis took advantage of the pot, put the lid back on it, and set it in the farthest corner of their room.

"So that's where you want our new bathroom to be?" Jack asked.

"Hell yeah, that'd work. But it prob'ly oughta be over 'long that wall, right above where the water pipes and such are for the downstairs bathroom. Don't you think that'd be better, Jack?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"What's on your mind now, bud? Ya don't sound too happy." said Ennis.

"Ain't complainin', Ennis; just seems like we're puttin' down some roots here in this house. First it was the porch, and now yer plannin' to build a bathroom too. That's fine, I guess. Jus' havin' ya with me is what I always wanted."

Jack looked over at Ennis with questions in his eyes. Ennis looked down and mumbled "well . . ." and waited for Jack to continue sayin' his piece.

"Just don't know that I wanna commit our future to bein' here, livin' with three generations under this roof, ya know? Issat what you want, Cowboy?"

Warming to his topic, Jack continued, "I probly wasn't being realistic, myself, guess I dreamed we'd live jus' like we do on the mountain only with a roof over our heads. Walk around with clothes on only when absolutely necessary, like when it's freezin'; lay in the grass makin' love under a shade tree whenever we wanted." Jack blushed sheepishly and looked down at the floor, smiled at his fondest daydreams. "Shit." he acknowledged.

Truthfully, Ennis had been relishing having all the family around them. Been alone so long, felt good to him, like a warm summer sun shinin' right on his face. Plus with him bein' hurt, it was real good being pampered and petted by Mom and Jenny, not to mention Bobby and Jack, too. Even old J.C. surprised him by offering to play checkers with him if he got bored. He hadn't thought how it would be when he was healthy again. Guess he and Jack would want to be on their own like they'd always . . like Jack always dreamed. Ennis learned young to never dream, to never want, to never hope. "Ain't got nuthin, don't need nuthin'." His mother had told him and Maggie, and K.E. time and time again.

"Hell, I don't know, Jack. Here we are, talking 'bout livin' together, in a real home; see'in your face when I wake up every mornin' n' go to sleep every night. It's more'n I ever dreamed of, Jack. Don't give a fuck where we live. You know that."

They were both on their backs on the end of the bed where they'd been sitting. Had lain back, knees bent, looking at the ceiling, just daydreaming about a future together. They turned toward each other and linked their hands.

Jack groaned. "I wanta love you, Ennis. I've missed ya so bad."

"Me too, darlin'. We c'n try it."

"Okay, scootch up on the bed, Ennis. Oh, ya can't scootch. Here, gimme yer hand." Jack pulled Ennis to his feet, and walked him around to the side of the bed where he normally slept. "Now, lay down. You want your pilla, or not?"

With Ennis almost in the middle of the bed, Jack joined him and began to press loving, wet kisses all over him, starting with his mouth, then that soft spot, the skin between his neck and collarbone. This was the place he started with each time they made love. Jack sucked a bit, looking to see if he'd put his brand on Ennis. Ah, yes, there were the little red prickles. 'My man now. Always been mine.' he thought possessively.

Gently, gently Jack kissed on down Ennis' body, licking the skin he loved and nuzzling the sandy colored hair on his chest and belly. He looked over to see if he was causing any pain when he got to the ribs, but Ennis smiled that he was more than okay.

Every inch of the journey from Ennis' head to his toes and back up was tenderly kissed, licked, nibbled, inspected, and cherished by his man, mumbling and humming in appreciation.

"Jesus fuckin' . . . ya look so good t'me, baby." Jack's running commentary let Ennis know how he looked, how he felt and how much he was missed, "gittin my hands on you again is like I died an' gone to heaven." Jack rarely left anything to the imagination. Completely losing himself in Ennis' body, Jack took his own sweet time. His hands reached for what he loved.

Cupping Ennis' ass in his hands, he pulled him toward his eager face and mouth. Jack sucked Ennis' cock into his mouth, spent some time and energy licking the slit, around the head, and then full length, sucked hard once, then licked him up and down the silky underside; taking his sweet lovin' time, remembering the taste and feel of his man.

Jack moved Ennis wherever he needed him to get access to all of him. Ennis' eyes were closed and he was moaning softly. "Oh how I've missed you, Jack fuckin Twist." he said.

"Ennis, open your eyes! Ennis, I need to see you baby."

Opening his deep brown eyes, nearly black with desire, he saw Jack kneeling between his legs. Ennis watched Jack pull his knees up high, anticipation hitching his breath in his chest. Jack could not keep his need to himself, kept talking all the while, "God how I've missed you, missed touching your skin, missed this sweet ass, cowboy." Jack licked and kissed till they were each throbbing, leaking, so ready, and Ennis thrashed his head back and forth.

Not being used to doing this, and not wanting to hurt Ennis, Jack grabbed the lubricant, used a big gob to slick himself, and his lover's ass. With his hands still covered, he stroked Ennis' cock, transferring the last of the lube. Returning his attention to Ennis' ass, he slid his finger in, stretching, twisting some, "Y' okay?" he asked Ennis, getting a nod for an answer. "Y' sure ya wanta try it this way, we don't hafta?" Ennis replied, "Yes, yes, Jack, please." Jack pushed in another finger and felt Ennis clench his muscles around him. "Fuckin' amazin' feelin', Cowboy."

Ennis moaned, "Come on, Jack! Ah, fuck, that feels so good."

Jack lifted Ennis' hips up a bit, pulling him to him and began to push in. "Ah jesus Ennis, it feels so fucking good! Ya ready fer me?" And he pushed himself in more, going slowly. Jack pulled back out, pushed in again, each thrust going deeper than the one before, then with all the longing he'd been holding back, thrust into his Cowboy all the way, till balls met ass. Jack began a gentle rocking motion, getting Ennis used to being where Jack had always been; wanting him to love it, wanting his man to feel so good.

"Ennis! Open your eyes, baby. I want to see you. I don't know how long I can last like this. You okay?"

"Fuck! Yes, Jack!"

"I need to see you wanting me, baby. Fuck baby, AH jesus, Ennis! You feel so good to me. Ready? Harder?"

"Harder!"

Jack stroked Ennis' cock, once, then twice, as he angled his thrust to reach the very best spot for Ennis. His Cowboys' eyes flew wide when he'd made contact! "OH! My fu . . what, JACK!" Seeing the passion and pleasure flare on Ennis' face was all Jack had held out for. Letting it all go now, pounding into his man's body, hitting his hot spot over and over. "Look at me Ennis, look at me baby, Now Now Now. AH!" Jack poured everything he had to give inside Ennis. The pleasure electrifying his veins, and Jack's commands for now now now brought Ennis over that edge so fast his come shot between them; so hot, so sticky, so sexy.

With his one good arm Ennis grabbed Jack's ass, pulling him in closer, deeper; let go to grab his hair at his moment of climax, pulling Jack down on him, to feel his chest against him, skin on skin. Couldn't get enough skin on skin.

Jack leaned down and licked some stickiness from Ennis' chest, and kissed his mouth, bringing the taste to them both. Ennis wished he could suck Jack's tongue into his mouth. But that would have to wait. One mouth, one tongue, one body.

'Ah, breathing again. Breathing is good.' he thought.

"Jesusgawdalmighty, Twist."

"You can say that again. Del Mar."

"Jes.." Jack put his hand gently over Ennis' mouth.

"Don't really need to, baby." said Jack, as he pushed up on his elbow to lean over Ennis, and kiss him tenderly on his eyes, his temple, his ear, and then back to his mouth. "You okay? I didn't hurt ya?"

"Don't think so, Jack. Haven't come to my senses yet, though."

"Ya like that, Ennis?"

"Nope." he said. "Fuckin' loved it, you bein' inside a me. This how it is fer you when I'm inside a ya?"

Nodding, Jack said, "Yeah, that's how it is fer me."

They held each other, still joined, still wet and sticky, and kissed. Jack held Ennis' face in his hands, and they looked into each other's eyes, seeing the love there, seeing the wonder at what they had.

"Guess it's time we face the world, eh? Sure don't want to."

"Me Neither."

But they stood, gathering clothes to wear downstairs, both anxious to get a shower and face this new day, this new life.

"Oh, Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Jack Twist looked down at the floor, smiled like he'd won a million dollars, then looking back at Ennis Del Mar, he said, "I love you right back."

Ennis could feel John looking at him during breakfast, seemingly a glare, but didn't know any reason why that would be. Rest of the family seemed okay.

Later, in the barn, John caught up with Ennis when he was alone, and said "Talk to you?"

Ennis, not quite flinching, replied, "Sure."

Not beating around any bushes whatsoever, John said "Are you ready for the ass-pounding you're getting to be . . . . .?"

Ennis whirled on him, fist already clenching. "What the fuck's the matter with you, old man? What kinda question is that?"

John held up a conciliatory hand, "I'm jus' sayin' , Ennis . . . I kin hear you two downstairs. Ya know, like this mornin'. . . "

Ennis let go of his anger and his clenched fist, and said, "Oh. Well, shit."

John continued as if he hadn't been interrupted, twice. "Cain't say whuther Claire and Jenny could or not, over in their room. Or Bobby either. Mine's right below yers, ya know."

Ennis plunked his no longer virgin butt down on a bale of hay and put his head in his hand. "Christ, what am I gonna do if they did hear us, JC?"

Making use of his own bale of hay, John sat and offered a quiet suggestion. "Don't suppose no permanent damage is done, even if they did hear ya. But ya might oughta step up yer plans fer fixin' up the little Bell place, ya know?"

Ennis met his eyes, and nodded agreement. "Thanks for speakin' up, JC."

"S'Nothin'. Young couple needs their privacy."

John thought to himself, 'old couples need their privacy too; maybe someday before I die, I can get back into my wife's bed. Done wasted too much time already jus' bein' ignorant!' When John looked up from his musing, he saw Ennis still standing there looking at him, hand extended.

"Sure do appreciate what you said, Mr. Twist."

He shook Ennis' hand, but was shaking his head all the while. "Oh, don't you Mr. Twist me, now Ennis. It's JC to you, or John, or old man or whatever you want t'call me. But Mr. Twist was my daddy, and I don't like to be reminded a that fact."

With a hard knowing on his face, Ennis nodded, and said "Umm, okay."

"… uh Ennis? Claire's daddy was a real gentleman, a lovin' man and better ta me than my own kin ever thought a bein'. I called him Mr. Bell when I was a boy, but from the day I married his daughter, I called him dad."

Ennis' head jerked up, met JC's eyes before they both looked back down at the hay strewn floor of the barn.

"Er . . I'm jus' sayin' . . " and with that John Twist walked off toward the house.

That evening, Ennis asked Mom for a calendar; one he could mark up and keep for his own. Given one of the freebies from A. J. Gaitten's Funeral Home and Mortuary, he ran it up to his n' Jack's room, and then came down for their walk.

Jack, Ennis, Bobby and Jenny went out for what had become a nice daily tradition, weather permitting. Claire used to go too, but now that John was up and around, she mostly stayed at home with him. Their only alone time.

Walking down the lane, and back up the old seldom traveled road, Bobby and Jenny stayed fifty yards ahead, as impatient youngsters do. Ennis and Jack did not touch as they walked; saved that comfort for their own pasture and lane. Ennis, walking side by side with his life partner, began to tell Jack of the morning's conversation in the barn.

Flitting swiftly from one emotion to the next, Jack experienced everything Ennis had gone through when John first approached him this morning. Anger came hot and fast, then embarrassment at them being overheard having sex, then shame and worry that mama, or worse, Jenny, may have overheard them. Bobby he could deal with.

As a result, they started planning how and when to move out; where to go, what to do. Ennis told him about the calendar he'd acquired from Mom, and that they should start marking it in ink with things that could not change, like Bobby starting his senior year at his new school, the doctor visits to remove the cast at six weeks, and the wires at eight weeks. And then pencil in everything else as closely as they could plan it. They needed to see what they were up against.

Almost like the sun risin' ever' day, here come Brad joining Jenny and Bobby as they looped around the old road, walking nearer to Kenneth and Rachel's house. That boy seemed to have a radar where Jenny was concerned, and frequently showed up to walk with them, much to Bobby's acute discomfort.

Between the two boys, Jenny was humming and showing with her hands, how the tempo went for the new song she planned to sing in September for an audition for the Little Theater Group at the Riverton Community College. She was already registered for the fall classes, and was really looking forward to getting started.

"If you need to practice, Jen, I can play the piano for you, any day you say." offered Brad.

Bobby whirled on him, "Since when in the hell do you play piano?" he challenged. He was kicking himself, hadn't thought to offer to play guitar for her, what was the matter with him, let Brad step in with both feet?

"Well, just two weeks, but I'm gonna be pretty good, my teacher says I got natural ability. Anyway, if I ain't good enough, or ready enough, my sister Kelly can play some, and my momma can play real good, Jenny, truly."

"Well, how nice. Thank you for the offer, Brad." She put her hand on his arm as she thanked him sincerely, and because it was dusk, she did not see his face and ears pink up. "Still pretty busy with Gran right now though, we're still canning everything we can get our hands on. Hafta start on the elderberry jelly tomorra bright and early. Guess we should head on in now, huh Bobby?" And when she turned back to speak to him, he felt okay again, could breathe again. Like a chain had been tight around his chest and now it was released. "Oh, man." He thought, "I got a bad case,"

"Uh huh, Looks like Bobby's got him some competition." observed Jack from their vantage point.

"With what?" asked Ennis.

Shaking his head, Jack exclaimed, "With Jenny, dumbass!"

"What? What're you talkin' 'bout, Jack?"

"JesusChristAmighty, Ennis Del Mar, Bobby's got a crush big as Texas on yer daughter, ain't you seen it? Where's your head been at? Up yer ass?"

"More'n likely up yers, Twist!" Ennis smirked.

Jack's smile widened to bring out all the sparkle, all the dimples. Now in their own pasture, out of the eyes of passers-by, Jack grabbed Ennis and turned him around to face him. "Did you jes' talk dirty to me, Cowboy?"

Laughing, they both were relieved to drop serious topics for a moment. Jack bent down to kiss Ennis up under his jaw, 'cause he knew he was ticklish there.

They talked until Ennis got it; who had a crush on who, and who was trying to horn in, etc. It was clear to Jack that much more than academics was lost by Ennis Del Mar because a missin' three a his high school years. Jack knew that so much social interaction, competition, failure, success, angst, and figuring out sexual innuendo, even flirting gets worked out in the hallowed halls under the guise of education.

Jack thought back over their first meeting up on Brokeback Mountain, those months in 1963 and the years since, and realized at long last, he had one more piece of the puzzle that was his love, his Ennis. 'Mostly Ennis didn't realize I was flirting with him, that's all it was.' And then sadly Jack thought, 'maybe no one ever did before.' With Jack still teasing Ennis, the walk ended on a happy note.

That night before sleep, Ennis told Jack some more of the conversation in the barn. "Think yer dad told me I could call him "dad", Jack."

"You musta mis-heard that one, Cowboy. You been delirious again? Got another concussion?"

"NO'm serious, he told me all about yer Grandpa Bell, how much he meant to him 'n all. Said when he married your mama, that he called him dad from that day on. Said his own daddy he'd rather forgit."

"Shit." was all Jack had to day.

"It was like he was sayin' that us being married is real to him, Jack, almost like he is saying he accepts it, and as his newest son that I could call him dad now."

"JesusChristFuckinJehosaphat!" spit Jack. "Wonder if and when the sorry old motherfucker is gonna welcome me as his son, or if he's planning to replace me with you?" Ennis flinched at the bite in that remark, and didn't know whether to try to calm Jack, or just let him vent it all out of his system. 'Too many years of hurt to vent it all out at once', he knew that.

If asked, there was no way Jack Twist could tell all of what he was feeling, but Regret was right on top, regret for the loss of his daddy; jealousy, anger, right behind, and pitifully, Shame for feeling the jealousy and the anger.

Ennis knew the hurt Jack was feeling, and knew that he could not take one step closer to JC until he and Jack made things right. Bad as Ennis wanted a dad's love, Jack needed it more. And Ennis would not get in the way a that.

Even though this new hurt was fresh, most of the years of denial and hardness on John Twist's part had made scars on Jack's heart, so this was nothing really new. Eventually, Jack became resigned to the way it was, the way it always had been in his memory, and halted his frantic pacing.

At last, joining Ennis in bed, he allowed him to hold him, and kiss him till eventually, he quieted his heavy breathing, and began to relax against his man. Readying for sleep, Jack laid on his side, with his back turned to his Cowboy. Ennis turned off the bedside lamp, then spooned up behind him and held him tenderly, kissing his ear.

"G'night darlin'."

"Good nite, baby."

Minutes passed; as the peace of the starry darkness enveloped them, they began to float off this planet of turmoil and strife toward their meager dreams.

All of a sudden, Ennis' eyes flew open, he remembered something important he hadn't told Jack.

"Jack, you awake, darlin'?"

"no."

Ennis started wiggling around, squeezing Jack tight, and kissing little wet spots onto his neck and shoulder blades. "You awake now?"

"yes."

"Come on Jack, wake up, I forgot to tell you one thing."

"This better be good, Del Mar. I was already asleep!"

"It is, Jack. It is. 'Least, it sounded real good to me."

Sighing heavily, Jack turned his face to look at Ennis. "Well, what is it then?"

"Yer dad?"

"Yeah, what about my dad now?"

"When he said we should step up our plan to fix up the old Bell place. . ."

"Spit it out, Ennis, I'm startin' to get pissed again! What'd he say?"

"Jack he, uh. . . "

"Jack, yer dad said we should fix up the old Bell place because a er. . .

um a . . . ."Young couple needs their privacy." "

"No shit? He called us a "young couple", Ennis?"

"Yep. Yep, he did, darlin'."

"Well, I'll be damned. Wonders never cease."

"S' what I thought, too!"

"Ennis, anybody ever call us "a couple" before?"

"Cain't say as I r'member anybody callin' us that. It's a beautiful word, ain't it, Jack?"

"It surely is, my love. One a those good words; the kind to build a life around."

Satisfied to end their day on this note, they kissed good night once more and snuggled back down into the covers, limbs entwined, and fell asleep.

TBC


	31. Chapter 31

A Better Idea

Chapter 31

Saturday, July 2, 1983

Two days later the holiday weekend finally arrived. Family members were milling around on the lawn or sitting in deck chairs on the porch or in the house over at Iris' and Walter's. Talking, drinking cold drinks, munching on carrot sticks or any one of an amazing array of foods laid out for a quick bite. The women tucked the desserts in the laundry room, away from their husbands' eager eyes and sweet tooth.

John and Claire went on over to the picnic early to visit, while Jack and Ennis finished up several chores. Gran talked Bobby and Jenny into going along with the old folks, giving her boys a bit of private time.

Being alone in this house was such an unexpected luxury, they hurried through their chores to have some lovin' time. Afterwards, Jack showered and dressed. He came back upstairs to find Ennis still lying butt naked in all his glory. Leaning down to kiss Ennis' sweaty neck, Jack had to practically drag him out of bed, since he was all warm, satisfied, and completely drowsy. "Let's go, Cowboy. Time to party. Aren't you hungry? Want an ice cold beer, don'tcha?"

Lying limply on the bed, face in the pillow, Ennis stated his preference. "D'ruther stay here, Jack. Don't need no 4th of July picnic. Just need you."

"Aw ain't that Sweeeet, lover." Jack crooned, just before cracking his damp towel across Ennis' bare butt with a wicked snap. "C'mon, get your shower, Cowboy. Hurry up, or I'll leave you here, high and dry. Won't be no supper cooked here tonight, ya know."

Ennis saw that he wasn't winning this tussle, so he gave in and stood up to gather a clean shirt, pants and underwear to take down to the bathroom with him. "Oh all right. Damn. You're always wanting to go somewhere, do somethin', can't you just be happy to lay around and rest once in awhile? Don't you get tired a going, Twist?"

"Nope." replied Jack. He studiously kept his back turned to Ennis, made himself busy straightening the bed, 'cause he dare not look at that long limbed, lean and muscular, naked body of his man, or they'd be right back in that bed, never to leave it the rest of the day!

While Ennis and Jack were still getting ready, Harold and Margaret arrived at the picnic, to a big welcome. They had been away longer than usual this time, and everyone was glad to see them. They both mingled awhile, nibbled on snacks, and spoke to their nephews, their spouses and kids. They really enjoyed this younger generation. It was their one regret, that they hadn't had children together, but they made sure to appreciate the kids they had from their first marriages, and visited often.

Finally, the older generation congregated happily together. The women sat on the porch, catching up on each other's news. The men found the keg and got a cup of iced cold beer. They stood around talking about stock prices, weather and the economy. Then they did a little catching up on each other's news, as well.

Walter brought Harold up to date about one of their friends, Ralph Weismantel, who had died recently of an aneurysm. "I remember him from the day they moved here; he was in my class from the middle of 2nd grade, on through. He was such a cut up, but the teacher's always seemed to like him. All except Mrs. Ellerie in 5th grade, she didn't like nobody." They discussed the shortness of life on this earth, ending with "you never know how long you got here, you just never know."

Harold agreed, saying "Yeah! Like me; thought I was a goner with that pneumonia back in '63; but I guess it jes' wadn't my time. Been twenty years of a whole new life with my wife, Margaret, and my health bein' so good." John couldn't help but think of another couple who met and fell in love in 1963, who hadn't had as easy a time of it. This had never occurred to him before. 'Damn! They sure've put up with a lot to be together, ain't they?'

Then Harold mentioned that his wife's sister and her husband wanted to come out next month, visit them a bit, and go to Devil's Tower. Thought they "might go with, hadn't been in years", he said.

"Hey Johnny, r'member the last time we went over there?" asked Walter. "Devil's Tower is practically right on our doorstep, and we ain't been back, in all these years."

"Yeah, I r'member it though, it was a fun day. Rained like a sonofabitch! We all got soaked and had to stop in ta that beer joint in Oshoto to dry off. What year was that, Walter?"

"Well, had to be '46 'cause Kenneth was just walking and Iris was pregnant with Roger, right? And Little Go was just about 3." reminisced Walter.

John dropped his full cup of beer on the lawn. Retrieving the empty cup, he collapsed on the nearest lawn chair, feeling like he couldn't breathe. "I haven't heard that name in so long, Walter. It liked ta knock a hole in me. Little Go is dead and gone, never to return, I sure do miss that little guy."

"Bullshit, Johnny Twist, that's Fuckin Bullshit!" steamed Walter, craning his neck around to make sure none of his grandchildren were within earshot. He angrily jabbed his finger at John, "If Little Go is dead, it's 'cause you killed him. You might be my best friend, goddammit, but I refuse to stand here with my tongue in my mouth and let you talk like that! Ain't no reason to miss that boy; he turned into a fine man, and he came here to help you! You need to unbend your stiff-assed self and admit you've done wrong. No more self pity, John! You're gonna have to start making an effort to make this right, be a man about it, no one else can do it for you!"

Walter was so angry, he threw his half-full beer cup into the nearest trash can and stalked off, needing to be alone, needing to calm down. Walter was not a crying man, normally, but he had tears in his eyes. Tears for Jack, who had been named Little Go, 'cause that's what he always said. "Go Daddy, Go!" and Johnny'd pick him up and take him with him, no matter where he was going. 'Took that boy everywhere; was the light of his life. It's a goddamned shame the way things has gone, ever since Childress, Texas.' he thought.

John was badly shaken; and Harold totally stunned. He'd never seen his mild-mannered brother go off like that on anyone, let alone his best friend in the entire world. But, of course, Harold knew the whole story too. He had seen the deterioration of Johnny's n' Sis' home life, more like devastation, you ask him. "Walter's right, you know, John."

John Twist put his face in his hands, and sobbed. "I know, I know, it's all my fault, but I don't know what to do about it. It's eating me alive. You know what kinda father I had, Harold! I think about talking to m'boy, and I just freeze up. How could a son ever forgive a father for the things I said to him, the things I've done? How could a father even ask him to, when I ain't even forgiven my own father?"

"Don't know, John. But I ain't the one you need to ask that question. You'll never get rid a this, you don't bring it out in the open. Lance that boil! I promise ya, Johnny, you'll feel better, f'you do."

"I . . . I suppose." stammered John.

"Looks like you're gonna get yer chance, if yer aimin' to take it."

John turned his head, saw Jack and Ennis pulling up in the yard, parking alongside all the other vehicles. Taking a deep, shuddery breath, he stood.

Feeling so weak, but determined to see this through, he was already getting stronger. He walked straight over to the driver's side as Jack got out of the truck.

"Can I talk to you, Jack?" he asked.

"Sure, lemme go get a beer . ."

"No, son, I mean now! Will you take me back over to the house? Tell Ennis to go on in and find Claire, she'll introduce him around."

Jack saw the red-rimmed eyes of his father; first time in his life he'd seen such a sight. He did not know what was going on, but he was sure something mighty big was happening. He licked his lower lip and nodded his head. "awright." he said.

At Ennis' questioning eyes, Jack shrugged slightly, said "My dad wants to talk to me alone, go on in and find Mama or Jenny, you know most everyone already. Okay, Cowboy?"

"You sure 'bout this, bud?"

"Yeah, he wants to talk. First time as long as I can r'member. Guess we'll talk."

Ennis leaned into Jack to offer support, put his hand on his shoulder like a well wishing friend, said "I love you, Jack."

"I love you too, Cowboy. It'll be alright; we'll be back soon. He wants to go to the house."

And they left. Jack drove with his heart in his throat, wondering what the hell was up now.

Ennis walked into the crowd, nodding to those he knew. He drew a beer from the keg, and found Jenny over by a tub full of soft drinks, her arm halfway down into the icy water. She pulled out an A & W as her dad approached. "Hey daddy, I see you finally got here."

"Sure did, how're you, Angel?" Ennis did that thing that he does. The girls always loved it; came to expect it. He curled his fingers and rubbed them down the side of his daughter's face.

Smiling impishly, Jenny said, "Oh, I'm fine, daddy."

"You over here driving all the boys wild?" No way he'd ever talked to her before, but with Jack's encouragement, no instruction manual needed.

Surprised, she looked at her daddy's face, his little smile. "No, dad. Just two or three of them."

Raising one eyebrow, he asked, "Oh? And who might that be?"

"Well, Bobby, of course, and Brad. Maybe even Kyle."

Ennis was floundering now, without Jack here to bail him out, so he just nodded and said "hmmm." Happily then, Ennis thought of a question all on his own, "So, are any of them three special to ya, darlin'?"

"Well, yeah. Guess you could say that." She grinned wickedly,

Her daddy grinned back at her, and waited.

"Dad, Brad is so smart, and so funny. Cute as a bug, too. He can make up a pun faster than anyone I've ever met. He's a real good athlete; he's even going to be the quarterback on his football team this year. He'll be a senior."

"But. . ." her dad said for her.

"Well, I like him so much, but I don't "Like – Like" him."

'Oh gawd', Ennis thought. "I'll have to r'mind maself ta ask Jack what "Like – Like" means."

"And Kyle is wonderful. He has a knack for making everyone feel good, and welcome to the group. He plans to be a Counselor, or a Coach in middle school. He's very bashful in some ways, but confident in others."

"But. . ." her dad said for her.

"Again, I like him so much, but I don't "Like – Like" him either."

"And Bobby?" Ennis prompted?

Jenny's whole face changed. She blushed bright pink and looked down at the ground. "And then there's Bobby", she said. "Bobby can be so stubborn. And he's gross; he opens his mouth and shows me his food when he's eating just to tease me; and then he laughs about it. He's easily bored at times."

"And?"

"And I'm just crazy about him, daddy!"

'Oof! Kick in the stomach, dad, your little girl just said she's crazy about a boy.' Ennis thinks to himself.

"Does he know how you feel?"

"OH NO, daddy, I would never tell him that. Promise you won't tell him!"

"Of course, I won't tell him darlin'. This is your business, not mine. But I must say, I'm very curious why you react this way, like you're scared to tell him how you feel?"

"Well, daddy, if you must know, I'm way too young to be getting serious with anyone. I have school starting in a few weeks. I'm moving back to Riverton. I have goals, things that I want to do, and plan to do before I settle down, before I get serious about a boy. Even someone as exciting and gorgeous as Bobby."

"Well, I'm sure you know best, li'l darlin'." Ennis said, greatly relieved.

"Besides daddy, I don't really know if it's Bobby I care for. . . ."

All right, Ennis was losing it for sure now. Didn't she just say . . . ?

"Or if it's just that I love Jack so much, and he's the spittin' image a Jack.

If I'm transferring feelings, THAT would not be fair to Bobby."

"You . . . Love . . . Jack . . .so . . .much? What are you saying Jenny? You love Jack?"

"Oh daddy, of course, I love Jack, what's not to love? He listens to me when I talk to him, and he doesn't think I'm a child. He's always ready for fun, and he's kind to everyone. He wouldn't hurt a fly. Not to mention that he's just Yummy!"

Ennis thought seriously, that he might pass out. "Jack is yummy?"

"DADDY, of course, Jack is yummy. Have you LOOKED at the man?"

Okay, Ennis couldn't hold it any longer. He busted out laughing, tears streamed down his face. And then he couldn't catch his breath. Gasping, he said "Darlin', I been lookin' at that yummy man for 20 years!"

"SEE daddy? And, You know what the best part a Jack is?"

'Oh gawd, where was she taking him now? What new territory were they going to explore next?' Ennis thought fearfully. "Uh, what would that be, Jenny?"

"It's that he loves you so, so much, and he makes you happier than you've ever, ever been!" she said, her face just beaming.

Trying to breathe, and almost succeeding, Ennis said. "You got that right, little girl. You got that just right!"

"So'm I gonna have to fight you, and every other woman here for him?"

"No, silly. 'Sides, many of the women here, are checking YOU out 'stead o Jack."

"Oh, you musta misunderstood that one, little girl."

"No, I've heard the comments as you walk by, no mistake here. One even came up to me and questioned me about you since I got here today."

"What do you mean? Questioned you how?"

"Well, she came up and asked, "Is your dad single?" and I answered her "No, he's spoken for." "Oh?" she says. "I thought sure he was on his own, every time I see him he's visiting up here in Lightning Flat, just hanging out with Jack." "Exactly!" I say, and smile into her eyes, and I just keep smiling into her eyes, until she gets it.

"Is this a problem for you, Jenny?"

"How do you mean?"

"I mean, my bein' with Jack, or you havin' to explain that I'm with Jack? Does it make you feel bad in some way?"

"Daddy, I have never been so happy over you, and how you're doing. You have no idea how me and Junior was always so worried because you was so sad and alone. You and Jack make me feel like true love is possible for all of us. You found it, we maybe can too." Jenny hugged her daddy and hung on, keeping her face pressed into his chest so he wouldn't see the happy tears that had gathered in her eyes.

"Ahem . .. " coughed Brad. "Mr. Del Mar?"

"Ennis."

"Oh, okay. Uh, Ennis? Aunt Claire wants to know if you're ready to crank ice cream. She's out in the back yard at the picnic table."

"Uh, sure, Brad. Tell 'er I'll be right there." Agreed Ennis, having no clue what cranking ice cream meant.

Ennis put his arm around Jenny's shoulders and walked with her toward the back yard, "Jen, speaking of your sister, did I hear you on the phone with Junior this morning? I surely do miss that girl."

"Yeah, daddy, that was Junior one a the times the phone rang this morning."

"How's she doin', did she say?"

"Yeah, she's okay."

"Well, what'd she say? Why are you holdin' back like that?"

"Well, daddy, if you must know, it's supposed to be a surprise."

"What is?"

"That she and Kurt are comin' up here tomorra."

"Alla this way? What for?"

"Well, seems she misses us, too. 'Sides, it won't be all this way. Kurt has family in Gillette, so they'll go there first, and then come on up here. They're stayin' overnight, and will go back Monday."

"Well, I don't know if I like her and that .."

"Daddy! It's all arranged. Uncle Walter worked it out, Junior's bunkin' in with Kelly, and Kurt is stayin' in Kyle's room. They won't even be in the same house. You okay with it, now?"

"Yeah, 'cept I bet her mama wishes she'd stay . ."

"She's spendin' today with Mama 'n Monroe 'n 'em. Goin' to the fireworks with'em there in Riverton tonight. Kurt's goin' with'em too."

"Huh. Guess she's got it all figured out, ain't she? She's a real thinker there!"

Most of the family were already known to Ennis and Jenny, thanks to the big porch project they'd all worked on together. The only new faces were Uncle Harold and Aunt Margaret, back from Las Vegas.

As soon as Claire saw Ennis coming around the side of the house with Jenny she waved at them and introduced him and his daughter to Harold and Margaret. Jenny took off to re-join the younger crowd at this point.

As they were introduced Ennis said to Harold, "I see the pneumonia didn't get you that summer."

At that, Harold raised his right eyebrow, just like Jack does.

"Yeah, Jack and me, we was herdin' sheep up on Brokeback that summer. Our boss came up to tell us you was in the hospital. He reported that you were "not expected to make it." Guess you fool'd em all. Congratulations."

Harold smiled, said "Oh, you're Jack's friend, Ennis Del Mar. I'm not so good with names like I useta be. Heard a lot about you, young man." He turned to his wife and put his arm around her. "This here woman, she's the reason for my recovery, Ennis. Found something to live for, someone to live for. She was my nurse, you know."

"Yes sir, I know jes' what you mean." As he looked down at the ground and smiled, Ennis couldn't help wondering how Jack was making out with his father, and wondered what the old man wanted to talk about.

Ennis learned quickly how to crank ice cream, and put his energy into it for Mom. Even with one good arm, he was keeping a steady rhythm, holding the containing in place with his cast, and turning cream, sugar, eggs and vanilla into a cold, smooth dessert with his right hand. Mom watched his progress and added ice and salt at the proper times. She asked him why Jack wasn't with him, helping to crank, since she knew her son dearly loved ice cream. He explained about the two men, father and son, going off to talk, back at the house.

So, there they were on the Bell's back lawn, Claire and Ennis, thinking on the men they loved, and worrying; both pretending they weren't. Cranking, and salting, talking sporadically about anything and everything but what was so heavy on their minds.

Just as the ice cream was coming to perfection, Claire looked at the man who was before her. Churning for all he was worth, doing it for her; and it moved her once again that he was her son, not born to her, but her son nonetheless. "Ah, thank you, love." She kissed his jaw below his ear, solidly, not a glancing, pretend kiss, but a real kiss that was meant. "That's perfect now. Will you just drape this folded towel over the top, and set it in the shade over there in the corner? I'll scoop it out soon as I get the Tupperware container I need."

"Ennis, sit right over here in this rocker if you're hungry. Let me get you a plate, alright?" asked Mom.

"No, ain't hungry jes' yet, thanks anyway, Mom." said Ennis, "Goin' to see if I can find Roger n' Patsy, maybe talk to Mauro if he's here. You seen'em?"

Moving around beside her, Ennis put his arm around her shoulder, put his face to hers, cheek to cheek and spoke softly into her ear, "Wanna wait for Jack, 'fore I eat, ya know?" She nodded her understanding at him, and he walked off to find his friends.

Ennis found Roger, Kenneth and Mauro arguing over how much barbeque sauce was "just right" to slather on the grilling chicken splits. He chatted with them awhile, Mauro was especially glad to see Ennis getting around so well. Ennis was saying how he'd like to get inside that cockpit again, learn more about the instruments, more about flying. He was truly fascinated by the idea of flying an airplane. Mauro told him, "happy to show you, anytime, anywhere. You just let me know when you're ready."

Mauro asked when Ennis needed to go back to Riverton for checkups and removal of cast and wires. "You just let me know, I'll be glad to take you, E, anytime. I'm countin' on it. You promise to call me?"

Ennis walked away to find Patsy, feeling uneasy. 'Why did Mauro act so eager to help him? Left a little flutter in his stomach, weird is what it was.'

Ennis found Patsy and sat with her, asking how things were going with her. He took her hand and interlaced his own fingers with hers, it just felt right. He didn't bring up her brother, Charles, but was there for her in case she wanted to talk about him. In time, she did; but quickly went on to happier topics of the kids, and Roger.

Later, Ennis saw Walter over by the keg, he poured himself a cup of cold beer, and talked to him about the good weather for his picnic, and the very good turn-out he had today. They mentioned all the friends who were at the Cattlemen's picnic today, they'd see them for Labor Day, for sure.

No matter who Ennis was talking to, whether Jenny or Mom; even Patsy, Walter or the men his own age, Ennis couldn't stop worrying and wondering about what was going on with Jack and his dad. At last, he couldn't stand it anymore. He asked Walter if he could borrow his truck to go over there and see that everything was alright.

Walter had not missed John, didn't know he'd gone off to talk with Jack. But he did fill Ennis in on how he'd blown up at John earlier, and his reason for doing so. He felt bad about it, but felt it was inevitable. Harold told them both of John's reaction after Walter stormed off, and what he'd said right before Jack and Ennis had pulled in to park in the yard. All three of them were feeling uneasy now. Ennis said, "So, kin I borry yer truck, Walter? I really need to see that Jack is alright."

The three of them piled into Walter's truck and headed for the Twist's house. When they got there, no one was to be found. They checked the house, the barn, the immediate pasture, but saw not hide nor hair of John nor Jack. The pick up was there, still, so they couldn't be that far, could they?

Walter, Harold and Ennis drove on through the pasture looking left and right. Not until they got over by the tree line did they see some movement.

It was Jack swinging his fist and connecting with his dad's cheek, knocking him to the ground. He bent as if to pick him up and do it again, when they both looked up at the sound of the approaching pickup truck with three men inside.

John stood up under his own steam, and Jack stood beside him waiting to see what was up with Walter. . . they knew it was Walter's truck. Both men were breathing heavily, but didn't really seem the worse for wear.

"What in hell you doin' here?" John asked the three men.

"Yeah, we don't need you here" agreed Jack.

Ennis called "Jack, you sure you're okay?"

"Dammit, Ennis! I said I was okay, now we're working something out here, can you all just get the hell back over to the picnic?"

"That what you want, too, John?" asked Harold.

"Yes, ah done told you so. This don't concern you. Me'n ma boy workin' sumpin' out here, jes' leave us. We'll be over direckly."

So the Good Samaritans drove on back to the picnic, heads hanging low, feeling like intruders 'stead o helpers. When they got back, they decided that what they really needed was another beer. 'T'hell with them two ingrates, we was only tryin' a help. Shit!' they thought.

Eventually, Jack and his dad had to rest. They walked back toward the house, came in and got a cold glass of iced tea. Just sitting there, being with one another, felt strange, felt new.

John had begun to talk as soon as they drove back to the house. Told Jack how he knew he'd been a real s.o.b. of a father, and didn't deserve a good son like him. Said he'd never understood why the things he wanted to say and have with a son of his, never seemed to work out, or come out the way he planned.

They walked briskly, in no particular direction; couldn't stroll to words as sharp and hard as these. They talked of specific events that Jack remembered with special hurt and anger. John told him sorry, told him what he'd wanted to say or do in that situation, but something contrary inside his head caused him to take a nasty slant on everything. Had to be mean and spiteful instead of offering love or guidance.

John shared stories of his own childhood. The beatings, the meanness from his father, were never explained, and never changed. Then the old man died, robbing John of a man's confrontation. By the time John grew old enough to want to settle things with his father, the bastard'd been dead. Could never get satisfaction. It was left for all time, no way to do anything about it.

"But that ain't no excuse for the way I acted Jack, I had the love of a good man. Your mama's daddy, Will Bell, was the father I'd always wished for, and got. You never got to know him, was still too young when he died. But he was a real good man. If he'd lived you'd never have had to go through half of the shit I put on you. He would have set me straight, Childress, Texas, or no Childress, Texas."

John told of leaving that hospital, with Walter, so busted up, and wishing that they'd killed him 'stead o jes' ruinin' him. Daddy Bell had come to see him, but John wouldn't allow it. He drove John's truck back home; all he could do for him. The entire trip from Childress, Texas all the way to Lightning Flat, Wyoming, not one word passed between best friends, Walter Bell and Johnny Twist. Nothing he knew before, but he was beginning to learn real good, how to shut people out.

"Nobody felt near as sorry for me as I felt for myself; that self pity turned me mean. I saw it happening, and still I couldn't change it. I saw what it was doin' ta you, and ta yer ma, and I let it happen."

John insisted that Jack should hit him, or kick him even, for all the bad things, all the meanness of his growing up years. Jack had said no, it was too little, too late. But John persisted. "Slug me one!" he raged, "I deserve it!" So Jack took a swing and punched John in the stomach, doubling him over and then smashed him in the face with a right upper cut. Once he got started, he couldn't stop, he pummeled his dad, crying "you bastard, you said I was weak, there was never nothing I could do to please you!" punching his dad in the shoulder.

"You never once came to see me ride!" right hook to the cheek. This was what the others saw when they drove up. Jack would have continued, but when he saw Ennis he knew that he had love in his life aplenty, and didn't want to continue to hit his old man, wanted to start to heal now. He was past it, past the anger and hurt. Wanted to go forward, and not look backward any longer.

So, the iced tea was refreshing them in body, and the airing of the awful truth was refreshing them in soul, releasing them from the icy grip, allowing them to go forward after all these years.

"Better get somethin' on those cuts on yer face, old man. We'll clean'em out so they don't get infected." Jack got up and went to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. Smiled when he saw the iodine sitting right next to the Kaopectate, 'that oughta fix him right up.'

Jack was cleaning the cuts and bruises on his dad's face, applying iodine to the scrapes and cuts both, when John spoke. "Know the finest thing I seen in the longest time?"

"Eh?" said Jack.

"You, with that boy of yours, son. You are the father I never was, the father I always wanted to be. Jack, I don't know how you did it, but you didn't continue in the same way you was treated. Maybe you got more of your mama's side of the family in you, you got what her daddy had in him, the goodness, the patience, the teaching."

"Yeah, and maybe I just knew how it felt to be raised like I was; didn't want to raise a boy, or even a dog, like I was treated."

"Fair 'nough, Jack. Can you ever forgive me for the past, son?"

"No, I can't."

"Well, that's alright. I don't blame you."

"But, I can put it aside, see how you go from here on out. How you treat me, and those I love; mama, Bobby, Ennis, his girls. You know? I've seen a bit of change in you these past weeks since Ennis came up here. You're already workin' on a better future, I can see that. The past will have to remain in the past."

John put his forehead down on the table, tears of gratitude, and happiness leaking from his eyelids. "You won't be sorry, son. I promise."

"Don't need no promises; just action. The right kind of action. Ya know?"

"Yes, Jack. I know."

Jack walked into the bathroom and put the iodine back in the medicine cabinet. Returning to the dining table, he said, "What say we get on back to the picnic 'n get ourselves somethin' stronger'n this iced tea? I'm hungry 'nuff, I believe I could eat a camel."

In fact, they did return to the picnic. Claire, Ennis, Walter and Harold, waited for them and pretended all the while that they weren't doing so. Such relief they felt when Jack's pick-up pulled up and parked next to Walter's truck.

Ennis reached out and ran his curled fingers down Jack's face, and Claire touched John's cut face gingerly. They each said to the one they love, "You all right?" and got a nod for an answer. They filled their plates, ate a hearty meal, drank their beers and acted as if this had not been a monumental day for them all.

Note: An Interlude

A small glimpse into the future.

Six months from this day, on January 2, 1984, they built a bonfire together, to burn the belt that John's daddy had beat him with on a regular basis. They burned the clothes that John had worn into that motel room all those years ago, and they burned a hickory switch, to represent the ones John had used on Jack. They burned a calendar to represent all the time that was wasted on anger and self pity.

Since there was nothing to burn to replicate John's fists and his ugly words; Bobby had an idea. They should write down on little slips of paper, the hateful words, along with the actions, the worst of times Jack remembered that John had glared at him with such venom, and all the pain Jack had suffered over the years, as well as those John had suffered at the hands of his daddy. They wrote out the little slips of paper and put them into a round Quaker Oats box, recently emptied.

When the flames were reaching the house top, they stood around waiting for it to settle to a steady roar, then one by one John and Jack threw the offending and hurtful objects into the fire, and let it consume them, let it burn away the aches that were decades old. Let it continue the healing that John had fostered these past 6 months and more.

No words were deemed necessary for this ceremony, but any were accepted as right, whether spoken aloud, or said privately within their hearts.

tbc


	32. Chapter 32

A Better Idea

Chapter Thirty-Two

July 3, 1983

Ennis and Jack were outside at dawn, before the summer sun began to punish all who toiled under its glare. Bobby was already on the porch when they stepped out the front door. He was sitting on a bench, eating a leftover biscuit filled with strawberry preserves, and drinking a glass of milk.

Just as Ennis had envisioned, they'd come to appreciate this porch. Most days began and ended right here. First cup of coffee, first cigarette of the day was enjoyed, often as not, on this porch. Sunrises, Sunsets too. Now they stared out across the horizon, the air smelling clean and feeling crisp following the front that passed through last night.

No need for words on a morning like this. The three men enjoying it; each in his own way, with his own thoughts. The contentment they felt was reflected back to them from their companion's faces,

Ranching is an everyday reality. The animals need to be fed and cared for; they need clean stalls, fresh hay, water, a good brushing. The chores were a regular part of the day, and the earlier they got them done, the sooner they could go enjoy another day of this 4th of July holiday weekend.

Ennis Del Mar field stripped his cigarette and put the paper in his pocket.

"Well, . . ." he said, heading out to the barn. And they all went to work.

In two hours time, they were back looking for breakfast, but were sorely disappointed when they saw the hustle and bustle in that kitchen.

Jenny and Gran were canning tomatoes this morning. There was a canner full of boiling water surrounding 8 quart jars filled with chopped tomatoes in juice just bubbling away on the stove. Claire was carefully timing them. Jenny was rinsing and stemming the next batch of tomatoes, they would be blanched with scalding water, then the skins would slip off without effort.

The kitchen windows were all steamed up from the moisture escaping the canner and the other large pot coming to a boil to blanch those tomatoes.

The men saw no promising activity that would suggest anyone remembered them or their stomachs. After pacing around a bit, Jack cleared his throat, and his mama looked up distractedly. "Oh, Jack! You're back." she said. "Grab this hot pad, dear, and reach into the oven. I've made us all a nice breakfast casserole, and it's keeping warm in the oven.

As he pulled the delicious smelling casserole out of the oven, Jack called to Bobby to set the table for everyone. "Mama will you and Jenny sit down and eat with us? Where's daddy? He coming to the table too?" Ennis and Bobby got the table set for the six of them, and Jack poured drinks.

Last night before climbing into her bed, Claire had assembled bread, ham slivers, whipped eggs and milk into the largest sized Pyrex baking dish she owned and covered it with Saran Wrap to refrigerate overnight. An hour ago she popped it into the oven. When it was near to being done, she had sprinkled some cheddar cheese liberally across the top to brown. Also made ahead was a square pyrex baking dish filled with cored apples, sugar, butter, cinnamon and small amount of water and baked for that same hour.

As soon as Jack had cleared the oven of the breakfast foods, Claire adjusted the thermostat back up to 450 degrees to preheat for the two rhubarb pies she had assembled for today's picnic supper. They'd go right into the oven on the lowest rack when the timer rang.

While the family ate breakfast, everyone had plenty to talk about. Bobby said his mama had called to find out when his senior year would start, needed to set a date for him to come to Denver to see her for his last two weeks before school. Jenny said, "Yeah, I need to get back to mom 'n Monroe's house in Riverton before my classes start at RCC." Both of them were leaving about the same week, might as well travel together. Ennis looked at Jack and winked, giving him a sly smile for the dates were scoped out in pen and pencil on Ennis' calendar from the funeral home.

Jack said "Ennis and I been thinkin' we'd take a couple weeks off too. Take a wedding trip for ourselves. Hadn't decided for sure when or where but this sounds like a pretty good time to go, when you both go." Claire just beamed at them, and John looked at Jack, nodded his head, and said "sounds good."

For some silly reason, Jenny and Bobby were both blushing.

"Mama, looks like that'd leave you and daddy on yer own fer a couple weeks, think you could manage okay?" Now, it was Claire's turn to blush. She looked over at John, and he said, "Bet we could. Yessir, bet we could."

John was happy to have some alone time with his new wife, new to him after so many years. Lately there'd been some flirting going on. He might be outa practice, but he could tell that much! And this was the girl he'd grown up across the road from, thinkin' 'bout her before she even knew he existed.

Jenny was excited about Junior and Kurt coming up today. Junior would have a chance to introduce Kurt to Bobby and the cousins. They'd all be gathering at Walter and Iris' around two o'clock. Knew there'd be games and singing, and just plain old visiting and catching up with family.

"Poppa, can I take your checkers game over to the picnic?" asked Jenny. All faces turned wide-eyed to Jenny and JC as he answered, "Sure can, Jen."

Jenny looked up at the staring folks around the table, "what?"

John knew what had surprised them all. He looked down into his plate of eggs and ham, and smiled a grateful smile for this sweet girl at his right.

Claire jumped up and said "gotta check my oven" and with her back turned, wiped a single tear from her eye with the tail of her apron.

She popped the two pies into the oven and set the timer for another 15 minutes. She'd need to lower the oven temp down to 350 at that point. She took the last batch of dripping canning jars, from the water in the canner, and set them to cool.

"Bobby, honey, would you get the pitcher of cream from the icebox?" asked Gran. "I surely do like a little sweet cream on my baked apples." As the family ate the fruit, they finalized plans for the day, had a second or third cup of coffee and just relaxed together before clearing the table.

Each of them got busy to set the kitchen to rights. The jars of green beans needed to be taken down to the root cellar; Jack and Bobby carried them down and put them on shelves, moving the ten remaining jars from last year's crop to the front, newest ones in the back. It took three trips each. Gran moved the jars of tomatoes to the stovetop and set them on tea towels to continue cooling. JC and Jenny put away all the food; milk, cream, and they covered the leftovers to be refrigerated. Ennis stacked all the dishes with like items, and made some hot dish water. He began to wash up everything in sight.

A wonderful smell permeated the whole house and Claire was reminded by the buzzing of the timer, that her pies were ready to come out of the oven.

"Oh, I never can smell a good ol' rhubarb pie without thinking of my cousin, Truman. This was always his favorite dessert, and that boy could eat pie!"

"I remember one rainy summer day me and him got up in our great grandmother's attic, over in Buffalo. His mama and mine had the same grandma, ya see. We found a trunk fulla old clothes, and tried them on, giggling to beat the band. The best part was the hats. We found these old hats, and put them on, lookin' in the mirror at ourselves, we thought we was somethin' ! I remember mine had feathers and plumes; real fancy, it was.

Our mothers heard us giggling and sneaked up the stairs and took a snapshot of us in those hats, if I can find it one a these days, I'll show it to you."

"Will he be here today, Gran? Have a piece a that pie?" Bobby asked, thinking about having some pie with a scoop a vanilla ice cream on top.

"No, Bob. Truman, he lives in Virginia now. Not s'posed to play favorites, I know, but he surely is one a my favorite relatives. I do miss that boy. He's not one for keeping in touch though. Wadn't for Christmas cards, doubt he'd ever write. In last year's card, he did include a nice snap of his irises. He's got a green thumb, like none I ever seen."

Soon, the teamwork showed results. The dishes were washed, dried and put away, the kitchen was swept spic 'n span. It showed no signs of the canning efforts except those last jars still cooling. The two rhubarb pies sat waiting under clean tea towels.

Claire took this opportunity to wash up for the day ahead, and rest in her room. She laid out her clothes for later, for the picnic and then thought she'd read a chapter of her book. Without intending to, she dropped off to sleep. Never would've admitted it but she needed this nap.

JC dug around in the closet and found the checkers box. He challenged Bobby to a game, and was pleasantly surprised when the boy agreed. 'Know it'll take time; one day at a time, one person at a time, but this is one repair job worth doin'. I stand to lose my whole family, I don't do this right.' he thought.

Little did JC know that Bobby was just as eager for his grandpa to make good. Saw how he was tryin', knew what had gone on between his daddy and the old man. 'Sure would like to have a grandpa to love some day, we'll see how it goes from here on out.' thought Bob.

They got the board set up and were making their initial moves, planning their strategy when JC spoke up. "You gonna play ball next spring, Bobby?"

"You bet." said Bob. "Ennis was a pitcher, think he'll work out with me some if I ask him."

"I can't wait." JC affirmed. "Ya know anythin' about them Texas Rangers?"

Jenny thumbed through a magazine in the parlor, but soon stretched out on the davenport sound asleep; her mouth open a little. Bobby pulled a light summer afghan over her, letting his knuckles trail lightly down her face, as he did so. He tiptoed out of the room, turning at the open doorway to gaze back at this vision. Sighing, he returned to his game with the old man.

The men played checkers, winning one game each, and discussed their mutual love of baseball. It was nice. In stead of playing a rubber match, they each decided to rest before the afternoon's socializing. Bobby went out to the barn, gave each horse some carrot. He then stretched out across a couple bales of hay next to Grey's stall and closed his eyes.

John took a small blanket with him and went out on the porch, sat in a rocker and put his feet up on a wooden box. He threw the little blanket over his legs, and just day dreaming a bit, thought, 'what we need out here is a porch swing.' Before long he was sawing logs. Didn't wake till much later when he heard his family stirring around and packing up for the picnic.

When they first got upstairs, Ennis and Jack quickly got naked, already enjoying the freedom to be together, just like they always wanted, in the privacy of their own room. "I want you bad!" one said. "Me too!" came the reply, but they both knew the family was right downstairs, and there was nothin' wrong with their hearin'.

"Ain't gonna fuck you in broad daylight, Twist, you cain't keep quiet nohow."

"Me? Who was it my daddy heard hollerin'?"

"Whose fault was that?"

"Guess it was mine!" agreed Jack with a sparklin' smile, showing dimples and all. "Aw, what're we gonna do now, Ennis?"

"Doubt there's nothin' we can do."

"You might be thinkin' we're doin' without till we get moved into our new place. Well, I Won't"

"Oh yeah?" smiled Ennis. He pulled Jack to him roughly, running his hands up and down his back and butt, clasping him against his erection and kissing his mouth like a man parched.

As they began to rub against one another, Jack groaned aloud, and Ennis walked away from him. "You can't be makin' no noise. I told ya that."

Chastised, Jack looked guilty.

"Shit!" said Ennis. "You're my man. I want you moanin' and groanin' when I touch you. Yellin' if ya want to! We gotta do something about our livin' arrangements soon, Jack. Real soon. C'mere, baby."

It added a new element to their lovemaking. See how frantic we can drive the other without making a peep. No noise, but plenty of writhing and wanting and begging. They soon found out that the bed was their enemy, squeaking, it gave away every move they made, so they tried to think of any way they could be quiet about having what they both wanted. They thought of goin' at it standin' up against the walls or laying on the bare floor. They woulda hung from the chandeliers if they'da had any.

Ennis slowly and seductively suckled Jack's neck, his favorite spot, and ran his hands over his chest and back, while devising a plan to satisfy his man. Taking Jack's hand, he pulled him over between the windows at the farthest distance from the living quarters downstairs. He sat with his back against the outside wall, his knees upraised, to cradle Jack. Hungrily kissing his mouth, delving deeply, tongues dancing, he ran his hand, slick with lube, over both himself and Jack preparing and protecting his lover's body. Slowly he stretched him, fondled him until he was ready, and then he helped him lower himself onto his straining and dripping dick.

Immediately Ennis was on a different plane, all restrictions forgotten. His eyes went unfocused, turned darker by desire, he began murmuring "fuck, you're so beautiful, oh, god Jack, you drive me fuckin' wild, baby." Jack didn't want to stem the tide of these sweet words ever, nor these feelings, but he leaned into Ennis, and covered his mouth with kisses, quieting him.

Ennis lifted his hips into Jack, they began slowly to rock each other in union, to find a rhythm that made all the world fall away and nothing existed but the two of them. The effort of keeping silent took some concentration, but it added a glimmer of illicit enjoyment, almost driving them over the edge too soon. They had to stop twice, think of other things, let their urges pass.

Again they began fucking each other, face to beloved face, unable to hold back any longer, they worked into the faster pace that brought them such joy in each other. When they came, they whispered their words of blessed release into their lover's mouth.

Spent. Sated. Sticky. Happy.

Ennis thought he'd never be able to get up from this floor, Jack thought he'd never get his legs to work again. Finally, they were able to stand up and make it over to the bed. Lying there, letting their breathing return to normal, they each held onto the other. Ennis had his good hand on Jack's face, fingers cupping his ear and feeling Jack's tousled hair. Jack held onto Ennis' upper arms. Their eyes closed against the sun now peaking in their windows.

Several sweet minutes later, one of them broke the silence.

"What do you think about to settle down?"

Blinking into consciousness, his word came out drowsy. "huh?"

"When we're getting too close to coming too fast, what do you think about to stop it, and settle down?"

"Not sure you wanta hear that."

"Sure I do, what is it?"

"Brussel Sprouts; ya know, how they smell, and taste."

"Ewww, that does sound awful."

"Why, what d'you think 'bout?"

"Um, aguirre sittin on the can."

"Unh, that's just wrong - how gross!"

"Tol' ya!"

Visualizing this, they both got the giggles, feeling 19 again, 'stead of 39.

Finding a way to wrap up in each other's arms even better, they snuggled down for a short nap. They set the alarm cause they didn't want to sleep too long, and wake up groggy. Didn't want to burn daylight either.

Showered, refreshed, and dressed, Ennis and Jack helped pack up the truck with Claire's rhubarb pies and the popcorn balls Jenny'd made for Junior. She knew that was a special treat for her sister, and they were easy enough to make.

They drove two vehicles over to the picnic, laden down with food, games, sweaters (Gran's insistance) and extra lawn chairs. No sooner had they parked in the yard, than a guided missile with long auburn hair propelled herself at Ennis and threw both arms around his neck.

"Daddy!" she screeched. He clutched her tight, locking his hands together behind her back. He started his body spinning, swinging her off her feet, and "flying her like an airplane" just like he had done when she was five.

Jack gaped open-mouthed at playful Ennis; he loved seeing this side of his man but he was also afraid he'd get dizzy and drop Junior, or trip over his own feet, with the same results. Carrying one of the pies, Jack walked over to them for his hug, almost as glad to see Junior as Ennis was.

Junior introduced Kurt to Jack. Jack said "didn't know our girl could fly." And smiling, Kurt said "Neither did I!" Ennis was catching his breath, looking at Jack kind of sheepish-like, he put his good arm around Junior and walked her over to a spot under a tree, pulled her down to sit in the grass. "Missed you, angel. Tell me everything, what's been going on with you?"

Jack walked over to Ennis with a funny look on his face. "You two just gonna sit out here all by yourselves? You could come up on the porch, there." Ennis looked up, said "naw, we're just gonna catch up, Jack."

Jack stalked off, "well, I was just thinkin' out loud!"

Jenny couldn't hear the words, but she could sure read the body language, and she knew this wasn't going well. She strolled out to the tree where Junior and daddy were sitting, and gave Junior a big hug. "Dad, you need to let Junior come on in. She has to introduce Kurt to Gran and Poppa and Bobby; even if all the others did get to meet him before we got here."

"She can do that later after we get re-acquainted."

"Daddy, you're part of a family now, it ain't just you no more. Hate to say it, but you're being rude!"

"No such thing, little girl. Just talkin' to my daughter here. Missed her."

"Did you ever think that me and Jack missed her too, and Gran and Bobby? They'll want to hear how she's doing, same as you. Gonna make her tell it all three times?"

"Well . . .uh"

"Daddy, think you hurt Jack's feelings, real bad."

"I kinda got that feelin' in my stomach, just lookin' at him, but I don't know what I did or said to make him feel bad."

"You didn't even walk in with him, just jumped out of the truck and went off and grabbed Junior. It sounds like a little thing, but it ain't. You did it in front of his whole family."

Ennis pinched the bridge of his nose, thinking how he'd feel if Jack had done him that way. "Christ, I wouldn't hurt that man for the world, and here I turn around and do that to him!"

"Come on little girl, I gotta learn to share you; let's go say hello to the family. Guess I got some crow to eat." Ennis took Junior's hand and walked with her toward the folks on the porch, didn't see Jack though.

He laced Jenny's fingers with his own below his cast, and whispered in her ear. "Thank you for tellin' me darlin', what am I goin' a do when you're not livin' here no more?"

"Dunno, guess you'll have to figure out this "relationship" stuff on your own!"

They all laughed at that.

Ennis caught sight of Jack at the keg with Kurt, JC and Uncle Walter. "Guess I'll go over and see if I can mend some fence with Jack, you girls want to come with, or go on up to the porch and see Gran?"

"Think I want a get Kurt and take him over to meet Gran now, so I'll walk along with you." When she got to the little group around the keg, Junior walked over and put her arms around Jack's waist and hugged him without saying a word, he leaned down and kissed the top of her head. She then went to Kurt, and pulled on his hand. "I 'sume you met Poppa 'n Uncle Walter, so let's go meet Gran, Kurt."

"Uh, okay. See you later guys." Kurt looked tickled that his girl had come to claim him, and happily followed behind Junior.

Jack was studiously not looking at Ennis. He went right over and stood in front of him, got no eye contact, so he pulled a beer for himself, then approached Jack again. "Jack . . ."

Silence.

"Jack, are ya gonna talk to me or not?"

Silence.

"I'm sorry Jack, I'm just a dumbass. I didn't mean nothin' by it. You know I didn't."

"What was that? I couldn't hear you, Ennis."

"I said, I'm sorry, bud! I'm just a dumbass, and . . . .I love you, Jack!"

Walter and John were just standing there, amused at the tangle Ennis had got himself into. They had turned their backs to give the boys some privacy, but they were smirking so hard their mouths hurt. When the "I love you" came out of Ennis' mouth, both men walked off to go check in with their wives. They hated having to make up for transgressions, especially when they didn't really know what those transgressions had been, so they didn't want to witness any more of Ennis' misery.

Jack grabbed Ennis by the back of his neck, and pulled his face up close, forehead to forehead. "Okay, Cowboy. I know you didn't. It just hit me funny. Guess I was a bit jealous, and I know better than to be that way.

I'm sorry, too."

"Y'are?"

"Sure am. Ya got every right to be excited to see your daughter, I'm glad to see her too. Let's go find them kids and catch up on all their news."

When mealtime came, folks re-arranged themselves, regrouped and found new people to talk to. Ennis and Jack found themselves at a table with Margaret, Harold, Patsy, Roger, Junior and Kurt.

Jenny and Bobby were with Kelly, Brad, Laura, Kenneth, Rachel, Gran and Poppa. The groups kept forming and re-forming, so everyone had a chance to visit with the folks they cared to talk to.

The topic got around to trips and traveling, and Jack said they'd planned a trip for when Ennis got his cast and wires off. Would coincide with Bobby's end of the summer visit with his mother, and Jenny going back to get ready for college. "Ain't quite decided where we want to go, though." he said.

Margaret said, "Can't go wrong, with Vegas." and Roger reported "We sure enjoyed our trip to Branson, Missouri. I highly recommend it." Harold said "there's always the grand canyon." Kurt told that the Rodeo and Stock Show was going to be in Cheyenne 'bout that time, thought that'd be a nice trip.

"Well, some other time it would, Kurt, but it don't sound too Honeymoon-y" said Ennis. Jack just about spit baked beans across the table. Wiping his mouth, and then his eyes, he said, "Darlin', wish you'd warn me 'fore you come out with one a yer declarations."

"What you talking about Jack? Only declaration I know is the Declaration of Independence. This is July 4th, ain't it? I don't git yer meanin'."

"I mean, announcing like you just did, Cowboy, that we're goin' on our honeymoon. You did the same thing t'me on Memorial Day. Think my mouth was full then, too. We was sittin' right over there. Said somethin' bout me bein' special to ya."

"Well, y'are special to me Jack. N' yer always after me to feel safe about us, and I do feel safe right here at this house, with these people."

Margaret leaned over and tapped Ennis on the elbow. "You ever think of goin' to Niagra Falls? That's where we had our honeymoon in 1963, and it was just the most wonderful place. I think you'd like it."

"Yeah, I know all about your wedding in 1963, that's when ours shoulda been too." Ennis said this with a bit of a chip on his shoulder.

"Now Ennis, we talked about this." shushed Jack.

"I know, darlin'. We wouldn't have this angel girl sittin' here, nor Bobby,nor Jenny if we'd been allowed to go on and marry each other when Margaret and Harold did. Wouldn't give them up for nothin', but all them years we had to be apart, still ain't right, Jack!"

Every time this subject came up, Jack just wanted to hold Ennis till the pain and the anger went away. He knew that them living together year after year would be the only thing to help erase the memory of the loneliness, all those years of living without the other, day by day.

Margaret reached over to Ennis again. This time she took his hand in hers. "I know, Ennis. My twin brother and his partner waited 32 years, hoping something would change; someone would make sensible marriage laws, or drop all marriage restrictions all together."

"We made our vows to each other, had the family as our witnesses, but nothing is recorded, or legal. Don't matter so much to us whether it's recognized or not. We recognize it."

She nodded, looking at them with her lower lashes swimming, but nothing dropping down her cheeks yet."Maybe your brother and his . .uh, partner could do somethin' like we done." Ennis suggested helpfully.

"No, my dear, they can't. Keith's partner died this spring. That's why our return to Lightning Flat was delayed a few weeks. Went to Phillip's funeral and stayed on to try an' console Keith."

Junior had been so terrified of AIDS for her dad, and he could see it in her eyes. She had to ask. "Was it a long illness, Aunt Margaret?"

"No, dear, nothing like that. Phillip works . . .worked as a branch manager in a bank in the valley in southern California. There was a robbery. The robbers were young and nervous; drug users I hear. They shot and killed him, as a warning to the other hostages. He wasn't even supposed to be at work that day, was covering for a woman who suddenly went into labor. She gave birth to a boy about the same moment that Phillip died." By this time, the tears were running silently and unchecked down her face.

Harold could do nothing but hold her shoulders, and let her talk it out.

Junior asked, "Did that lady name her baby Phillip?"

"Yes, Junior, she did. She named him Phillip Keith Browerson. You are quite intuitive, aren't you, my dear?"

"Dunno, I just know what's right, and that was the right thing to do."

Jack said, "Please tell your brother we are sorry for his loss."

"Thank you, Jack. You see, our whole family loved Phillip, we feel like we lost another brother."

Ennis was silent. He was devastated thinking about poor Keith, waiting all those years for Phillip only to have him be killed. He thought that would be BEYOND HUMAN ENDURANCE. No other pain would equal that; if he lost Jack, life wouldn't be worth living. No way could he see himself having any life at all, if he were somehow to lose Jack. He thought 'God, if you're there, thank you for not having it in the cards for me to lose my Jack!

And then thinking about it some more, he thought 'An' let's be sure ta keep it that way, forever and ever, Amen. Okay?'

He reached over and took Margaret's hand, then let his tears roll down his face for the living Keith as much or more than for the deceased, Phillip.

Just then, JC (or Johnny as his contemporaries called him) came around with a hat filled with slips of paper. "Come on, pull a slip of paper, we're putting teams together, gonna play horseshoes. Grab one a them slips Jack, Ennis!"

He continued around till everyone had been placed on a team, and they began to play, and to bring themselves back into the present day and time.

The fireworks were planned for the next night, the 4th. Tonight, the crowning event was going to be the dessert. They had several kinds of cakes, more home made ice cream, two cherry pies, a pecan pie, a pumpkin pie, and the two rhubarb pies. Each dessert was already sliced into smallish pieces, allowing the excuse "Take two, they're small!" and so they did.

Author's Note:

Claire's Fresh Rhubarb Pie Recipe

4 cups chopped rhubarb

1 1/3 cups white sugar

6 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1 tablespoon butter

1 recipe pastry for a 9 inch double crust pie

**DIRECTIONS:**

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F (230 degrees C).

Combine sugar and flour.

Sprinkle 1/4 of it over pastry in pie plate.

Heap rhubarb over this mixture.

Sprinkle with remaining sugar and flour.

Dot with small pieces of butter. Cover with top crust.

Place pie on lowest rack in oven. Bake for 15 minutes.

Reduce oven temperature to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C),

continue baking for 40 to 45 minutes. Serve warm or cold.

tbc


	33. Chapter 33

A Better Idea

Chapter Thirty-Three

August 5 – August 11, 1983

Ennis and Jack were finally settled into the old Bell place, and couldn't have been happier about it. They'd been sleeping over here for the better part of two weeks, but they now had dishes, sheets, towels and a welcome mat.

Thanks to Claire, they even had curtains hung at the windows and a newly crocheted rag rug at each side of their bed to step out onto of a cool Wyoming morning. Gran had taught Jenny how to make the rugs and left her to it. After a few halting stops and starts, she got the hang of it, pulled out all of the uneven and too loopy rows, and then began afresh. Ennis was so proud of her accomplishment, he pulled their visitors back to the bedroom first to show-off Jenny's gift to him and Jack. Only after that would he show them his and Jack's handiwork in bringing the house and grounds back up to living standards.

Waking before dawn in this, their very first, own home together, they could love without worrying about their sounds carrying. They could argue too, without being overheard, but rarely did. They respected each other's opinions, and were glad of having this companion at last, when it had not ever truly been expected. They could get up and make coffee in the altogether, and hop back in bed to cuddle and stroke till the brew was ready. Once in a while, the coffee boiled over, forgotten. They drank it anyway, without complaint.

Each morning their habit was to relish waking side by side, snuggle a bit, make love at least once, have coffee and then take on the regular morning chores that kept the Twist place running. After a couple of hours they would follow their noses, or was it their stomach's, to Claire's table for breakfast with the family. This was their time to connect with Mom, JC, Jenny and Bobby. They would head on out for the heavy work after that with a full stomach, and a feeling of having been embraced by the family.

Jack never took it for granted that he could sit down for a meal at the opposite end of the table from his dad, without that old knot in the pit of his stomach, He was still wary, but that wasn't the same thing. It was a relief he thought he'd never have. Seeing Ennis, mama and Bobby sharing his table was something Jack would never tire of, never take for granted in his life. He sure was gonna miss that Jenny. Havin' Ennis' daughters accept him, and love him was, how could he explain it? It was more than he'd ever expected, and made him feel that his life was complete. Had everybody that he needed right now. Didn't never need nothin' else.

Early on, Ennis had built a lean-to at the back of their cabin for Scarlet and Grey. They were snug and warm there. Ennis loved having his animals near, and with the horses to ride, they could leave Jack's truck out front of the folks' place as usual. It seemed a perfectly sweet life; couldn't ask for more.

All things seemed to have fallen into place for Ennis and Jack. But this young couple, approaching the mid-point of their time on this earth has waited so long for that sweet life. They are ever watchful for trouble to walk in their door, and hopefully will be ready when it comes.

This was Ennis and Jack's last week with both the kids together. Summer was quickly coming to an end. Jenny needed to get back to Riverton to start her first semester of college and Bobby was visiting his mother in Denver before beginning his senior year at Crook County Consolidated High School.

Their dads were looking forward to traveling with them. It would be a fine way to wrap up the summer together, before everything changed forever.

Jenny and Bobby were each preoccupied with their immediate futures. They understood that nothing lasts forever. They were eagerly looking ahead to new schools, but couldn't help but be sad about this time coming to an end. They'd never be as young and free of responsibility as they had been this summer.

Jenny talked to Bob about this the night they borrowed Jack's truck and went over to the drive-in at Broadus across the Montana line. When Bob lay his arm across the back of the seat, fondled her hair while gathering his courage to actually put his arm around her, Jenny knew she had to be the one to say something. She leaned back into Bobby's arm, and pulled his hand around to her shoulder. He couldn't believe she was touching his hand, and holding it there on her arm. With new hope in his heart, he brought his left hand up to cup her chin, and turn her face to him. They hadn't even hooked the speaker box onto the driver's side window yet. They weren't concerned about the movie, no matter what it was.

But then, Jenny looked into his face, and spoke from her heart and mind. She brought up the fact that his senior year was ahead of him. The new school, the studies, the dances, the football games, the new friends, and yes, the new girls he would meet. "Don't close yourself off Bobby from alla these new experiences. It wouldn't be fair to you, or to me."

Turning in the truck seat to face him, Jenny told Bobby all the things she was interested in studying, including Drama, Voice and Theater History. Then she shared some of her more distant hopes and dreams. Feeling he was in a safe place, where he wouldn't be laughed at, Bobby opened up about a dream of his own, one he'd never shared before this. "You want to become a veterinarian, Bobby? That's great, I know you can do it. You'll be a perfect vet! You have such a gentle way about you, animals instinctively trust you."

"Well, I'll have to make top notch grades, stay outa trouble, AND find the money somewhere. Other than that, it'll be a snap!" he said, laughing out loud and sparkling with optimism just like his daddy at that moment. Seeing him like that warmed Jenny's heart and they were back on a good footing.

"That doesn't mean I won't miss you somethin' awful, Jen. Cause you know, I will. It already hurts so much, knowing you're going away and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I even talked to Gran about it."

"You talked to Gran . . . about me, Bob?"

"Well, I was moping around the house a week or so ago when you were over at Laura's sewing a new skirt or something, and she asked me what was wrong. Didn't want to avoid the question; I wanted to talk about you. I always do, Jenny. I told her that thinking about you going away makes me have this awful ache in my stomach, like my guts are clenching up."

"What did Gran say? Anything we can do about it?"

"No, she said not. Jes' get through it, is all you can do."

"That's not real encouraging, Bobby, how was that helpful?"

"Cause a what she said. Said your "First Love" hurts like the devil."

"That's what she called this, our first love?"

"Are you saying that I'm your first love too, Jenny? Cause you're mine, for sure."

"Yeah, guess I'm finally admitting it to myself, Bobby."

"I do love you, Jenny Del Mar. So, so much."

"I love you too, Bobby. I really do." It was then that each of them got and gave their first meaningful kiss, and they held on to each other for a long time, knowing there was nothing they could do but get through this, like Gran said.

"It seems so hopeless though. So many obstacles, can't imagine ever feelin' any better."

"That's what Gran said too. But she told me something that did make me feel better, Jen."

"What was it?"

"Said just look at the family history. Said Johnny that's Poppa was her first love, and he waited for her for three years till she was out of high school. I can't picture them young and in love, can you?"

"Not young, no. But I think they might still be in love. Have you seen how they look at each other? Like this morning at breakfast?"

"No way! I can't make my mind go there. But she did tell me somethin' else.

'Bout dad and Ennis."

"What about'em?"

"She said Ennis was Dad's First Love, when they was both 19 and that it was awful hard, awful hard for him in the beginning when they first parted, and then all those years they was living apart. But look how they are now! That's what she meant by family history."

"Well, obviously, I grew up with those sad, apart times just like you did, Bob. And the happiness when they were going to have one of their fishing trips.

I'm sure glad that's over, and that they have each other every single day of their lives now. You can just see them glow, almost."

"Yeah, I sure did grow up with that too, and the horrible times with dad drinking like he didn't want to live anymore, almost. Glad that's over, for both a their sakes. BUT I will say this, I'd glow too if I knew I could have you every day of the year, Jenny!"

"Oh, you hush now. You know they paid an awful price; twenty lonely years and still they have an uphill battle. Don't wish that on anyone, Bob. Least of all, us. You know the odds are against us ending up together, family history or not. And I seriously do not want you counting on it, and missing out on everything at school, and in your life. Do not put yourself on hold for me, Bobby. Y'hear?"

"You saying that cause you got someone you're going back to? You have a boyfriend back in Riverton, Jen? I guess I never asked you that before."

"I did have someone I liked a little, but he never knew it. It was nothing like I feel for you Bobby, but I wouldn't even have told YOU, if this hadn't come up tonight. I have too many things I want to do before I consider settling down with any one person. You understand, don't you, Bobby? I want more in my life than my mama has, and I want to see more, go more places, learn more. I wanta experience everything there is!"

Bobby didn't know whether they were ever to become more than they were tonight, and it hurt him in a way, but he knew she was right to want all she could have, all she could be. He wanted it for her too. He was so proud of her. He put his arms around her, and kissed her one last time before driving back home.

When they got out of the truck, Jenny pulled him close and put both her arms up around his neck, pulling his face down to hers. She just wanted to kiss him good night, show him how much he meant to her; she didn't realize how it would feel to him, to have the promise of her young body leaning into him all down his length. That was a memory Bobby Twist would hold on to for a long, long time.

"Good Night, Bobby."

"G'night, darlin' Jen."

Ennis had been wonderin' and worryin' about when the kids'd be getting back home. He was not used to his girls going out on dates, and not used to being the parent waiting to see them drive safely back home. He saw the headlights approach, and saw the kiss in front of the house before turning back to the table.

He had been nursing his cup of coffee and picking at his apple pie for an hour or more, and periodically pacing over to the window. So when they came in, he was greatly relieved. Everyone was greeting everyone else, and Ennis saw his opportunity to leave. "Well, I guess I'll be headin' back home, Jack'll be worried. He'll think I came upon a bear, er sumthin."

Walking over to Claire, Ennis cupped her head and pulled her in to a big hug, and kissed her cheek. "G'night now, Mom. Thanks for the pie 'n coffee."

"Yer welcome, m' boy, any time. Glad to have the comp'ny."

Jenny said "I'll walk you out, daddy." She looped her arm around his waist and squeezed.

Outside, standing by Scarlet, Ennis dipped his head to his daughter who was being quiet. "Y'alright?" he asked.

"Yes, daddy."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, daddy, I was just thinkin'. . .'bout leavin' an all, it's kinda hard. Y'know?"

"Oh, yeah, little girl. I know it's gonna be hard to leave . . . yer daddy, and yer Gran."

She looked up under his hat brim to check his face, and sure enough, there was that little twinkle in his eye, and the corners of his mouth were trying not to quirk up in that sweet way he had. "Oh daddy!" she said, and whacked him on the arm.

"Well, I made ya smile, didn't I?" he swung gracefully up onto Scarlet's back and tipped his hat to her. "We'll talk in the mornin' f'you have a mind to. G'night l'il darlin'." As Ennis rode through the dark pasture toward his home with Jack, he thought "Guess I can be fun anyways, sometimes, can't I?."

When Ennis rode up to the house, Jack was sitting out on the front porch, the red glow of his cigarette giving him away. He flicked it to the earth, and ground it out with the toe of his boot. He walked around to the make-shift stable to greet his man. Ennis was taking the bridle off of Scarlet, and Jack took it and hung it up, the saddle and blanket were already thrown over the saw horses where they were kept.

Ennis got the brushes down and began to give his filly a good brushin'. Jack got another brush and started on her other side. "What're ya doin', Jack?"

"Try'na hurry you up, git done with this horse quicker."

"Why? Where's the fire?"

"Ennis, you git done with Scarlet, and I'm a show you where that fire is."

Ennis just ducked his head and smiled, loving how eager his man was.

"Missed ya tonight, Cowboy. Why was ya gone s' long?"

"Well, had to wait for Our Daughter to get home from her date with Our Son! That's where I was, f' you must know. 'Sides Mom had some apple pie she didn't know what ta do with. Played a game a checkers with the old man while I was waitin' too."

"What'd the kids see at the movies?"

"Hell if I know, don't 'magine they know, neither."

"Why, Ennis? What the hell happened?"

"Oh, Jack, I don't think anything bad happened, it's jes' like . . . 'member how we used to meet and go up in the mountains. . .?"

"'Course!"

"Well, ya know how gut wrenchin' it got on those last couple days, knowing we had ta pack up and leave each other and go back t' that other world where we wouldn't be together?"

"Oh, hell yeah. Don't think I'll ever forgit those last days we suffered through ever' fuckin' time we had to drive off from one another!"

"Well, that's a bit of what Jenny and Bobby are goin' through now. They know it's right to get back to school and their real lives, but in a way, it's killin' em and ya can see it in their faces."

"Shit. That's hard. They're just kids."

"They're almost as old as we was in '63."

Jack licked his lower lip, looked down thoughtfully, and said "yeah."

"I tell ya, Jack. Was bad enough, going through it our ownselves, but watching our kids go through the pains of growing up, hurts like a sonuvabitch."

Jack just nodded his head, "Guess it could get worse before it gets better too, Cowboy."

Ennis took the brush out of Jack's hands and put them both away. He came back and grabbed Jack in the crook of his elbow, kissing his hair, he asked "Ya think yer 'bout ready to take care a yer man, Twist?"

Jack suddenly turned around and grabbed Ennis, pulling their faces close and bringing their foreheads together. "Yep, only question is, will we make it into the house first?" He pushed him down onto a pile of hay, and they lay there one on top of the other, just kissing everything they could reach, sucking and licking sweet and salty skin. Their jeans were getting real tight, though.

Ennis pulled away from Jack's mouth, and looked him in the eye.

Jack asked "What?"

"We got a house a our own, and a bed a our own. Let's go enjoy 'em. What'dya say?"

"Say You Bet! That's what I say, Cowboy."

"Hmm. Sounds familiar, don't it?"

Ennis was very glad to be seeing his last week of captivity in the arm cast and the wires in his mouth. Couldn't wait to get to Riverton for those long awaited appointments. He felt strong; better than he ever had actually thanks to Mom's cooking, and the loving care of Jack and Jenny. He knew he had healed fine and there was no reason for these implements any longer.

Two weeks ago, Jack caught Ennis with a hack saw contemplating taking off his own cast. He talked some sense into him about being sure the bone had healed well and straight, and why fuck it up now? Remembering the lightning incident, and the telephone, Jack had not yelled at Ennis about cutting his damn fool arm off, like he wanted to.

The drought had broken; July was record-breaking rainy. Their cistern out at the Bell place was brim full, and the old hand pump when cleaned and oiled worked like a charm. The much needed rain was timely where the hay crop was concerned too. They'd be back from their trip just in time for haying. The grass had perked up right fine, and those black baldies were enjoying fresh grass once again.

The second planting of the vegetable garden was doing well, if somewhat leggy. The rain was appreciated most by the melons and corn. This was not field corn; this was beautiful sweet corn which would be ready for harvesting when they returned from their trip. Couldn't wait for those succulent roastin' ears!

Jack knew that mama would be planting cauliflower and broccoli after all the warm weather vegetables were taken in. 'Wonder if she knows how much easier her life would be, if she had a freezer?' thought Jack. Me and Ennis will have to do some figurin' on that.

Everyone knows that with rain comes mud. Mud clings to your boots, gets carried into the barn, into the house. Mud can mess up your nice newly painted floor. Rummaging around in the barn one day, Ennis found an old saw blade about 24 inches long and attached it (teeth downward) to their little front porch. It made the perfect boot scraper, and when Mom saw it, she told Ennis she wanted one at the side of their porch too. It gave that man a button poppin' feelin' to be able to do something for his Mom. Anything he could do to make her life easier was just what he was all about. He felt she deserved far more than he could ever do for her. Would gladly give her the Moon if she asked for it.

Flashback:

Ennis remembered overhearing Maggie tell K.E. right after the folks was gone and the bank took their ranch, that she feared the worst about the youngest of them. "You 'n me, K.E., we can take care a ourselves, pert near; but that li'l dogie needs more'n I got to give'im."

"You callin' Ennis a motherless calf, Mags?"

"Yeah, that's 'xackly what I'm callin' im, K.E. Think about it."

"Well, even if that's so, he'll toughen up, he's a Del Mar."

"Reckon yer right." said his sister, but not convincingly.

End of flashback.

Living this life, having his Jack and his daughters, not to mention Mom and Bobby, even the old man, made Ennis think maybe he'd died and gone to heaven, and they'd just forgot to tell him. In all his life, he never knew this kind of existence was possible; not for himself, not for anyone. Each day that dawned added a new slice of goodness inside that empty hole that Ennis Del Mar had grown up with in his gut.

That hole was so full of "missing my mama", "don't belong to nobody", "no son a mine cries" and "you're just different". It was made even worse by all the hours, days and years of isolated and lonely living out on the range. Even his and Jack's times together on the mountain couldn't never fill Ennis up entirely. And the times in between when he could do nothin' but think on his Jack down there in Texas with his happy little family, well it just made it all that much emptier, that much lonelier. Ennis had learned early that everyone he'd ever loved had been taken away from him; he had to be careful not to love too much, nor count on too much coming to him.

Ennis Del Mar hadn't never believed Jack when he said they could have that sweet life. Didn't know anybody who had it; thought Jack was makin' up fairy tales like the ones he use'ta read to his daughters. But lately Ennis was so unexpectedly happy that he went around doing his day to day chores humming a tune. He'd have denied it if you told him that he smiled 'most every day now. Only when he was in deep concentration over a difficult problem, or an ornery bit of fence wire, did his old accustomed frown come back. Yes sir, it was mighty fine, having this sweet life that Jack had given him.

Jack knew that it was Ennis who gave that sweet life to him; not the other way around. They were both content and sure that it was the other man who carried the magic in his heart, and brought all this about. They had a very good start. Each a them knew it would take work to keep it, and each was determined to do that work, and make this life together a permanent thing.

Herman still called at least once a week, and was very much looking forward to seeing Ennis' progress. He insisted that he take him to his doctor appointments when he got his cast and wires removed and his final check ups.

Part of the reason, Ennis knew, was because Mr. Stodemeir wanted to pay for everything, was still trying to make up in any way he could for the accident. But Ennis knew it was just an accident, and he couldn't never hold a grudge about that. Coulda happened to anybody.

Truth be told, Ennis had never been looked after so good, nor by so many people; he was becoming very fond of Mr. Stodemeir . . .er Herman as he'd

insisted Ennis call him. When Herman called every Wednesday night, he always had a story to tell, something that happened at the ranch, something Bruce or Charlie said, or was up to. He made Ennis laugh.

He kept Ennis up to date on Aunt Greta, who was the life of the party at the home she lived in. She still hadn't thanked Ennis for finding that metal box of old family heirlooms, and Herman reported that she anxiously wanted to see Ennis when he came back to Riverton. And, oh by the way, Virginia Fowler sent her regards too. Herman hired a young fella, Nolan Lankford, to cover for Ennis but Herman said he wasn't worth spit. Maybe with time he'd improve, but Herman wasn't holding his breath. So it goes on the ranch.

One topic Herman never let up on, was that he was going to replace Ennis' truck that had been totaled that day. Ennis kept saying no, that he had insurance, and when he was ready to drive somewhere on his own, he'd file his insurance and get another used old truck like the one he had before. They had never settled this, never convinced each other, and so it remained a sore spot, and one they ended their conversation with each week.

Finally, in a fit of temper, Herman spat into the phone, "Vell Innis! You von't say Yes, and tell me vhat you like so I'm yust gonna order you the biggest purplest truck dey make! See how you like dat!"

Ennis gasped and began laughing at the image in his mind, of a big, fully loaded, Purple monstrosity. Would Herman really do that? Ennis couldn't be sure not, so he spoke into the phone, so quietly that Herman wasn't sure he heard it. "Okay. Navy blue. No bells, no whistles. You got that, Herman?"

Stubborn Ennis Del Mar had met his match in Herman Stodemeir, and he had caved.

Truth was, Ennis knew they didn't make truck paint the color a Jack's eyes, so settling for navy blue was the next best thing. Ennis was pleased with this result; in his heart, he was hoping the arguing was over. He hated arguing above all else; would rather agree, or just walk away. But not with Herman; there was no walking away in him, apparently!

Herman Augustus Stodemeir well knew the dates when Ennis would be back for his appointments, so he knew exactly how long he had to get a top of the line navy blue truck ordered and into Riverton with "a few" bells and whistles on it. He sat down to call the Chevy, Ford and GMC dealerships to see who could handle a rush order. Herman whistled while he dragged his finger down the yellow pages, happy that he could finally take some action.

Claire marveled at that black instrument in her house, that had never seen so much use in it's life. Herman wasn't the only person checking in every week. Alma and Junior call each Friday to talk to Jenny and to check on Ennis. Lureen calls to talk to Bobby each Sunday night. She waits till her mother is there so both can talk to him, and chat with Jack as well. It is not unusual for Mauro to call Ennis. Kenneth and any number of relatives frequently call Jack. Patsy calls Ennis every couple of days, leaning on him a bit has helped her open up and talk about her brother Charles more than Roger ever thought she'd do. Claire's family checks in daily or just when coordinating their get togethers. It became obvious that this family needed another phone. Jack called about having their own line installed back at the old Bell place; needed quickly, now they aren't living up at the main house.

'We leave in the morning', thought Jenny. She was finished packing. She hadn't brought a lot with her to come and help her daddy after his accident. Seemed like she was taking more back than she brought. Seeing those locked suitcases sitting there made her sad, but also let her know that the next chapter of her life wasn't that far off.

'We have ta leave tamorra' thought Bobby. He had a packed duffel bag and shaving kit waiting by his bedroom door to take to his mama's for the two weeks of his visit. He didn't need much he said. If he knew his mama, she'd have him out shopping for a bunch a new school clothes before anything else happened. She was always one for new clothes.

Checking his A. J. Gaitten Funeral Home calendar, Ennis confirms that everything is on schedule. 'Tomorrow is the 12th, and time to leave for Riverton and then Denver.' thought Ennis. 'I remember that snowstorm we had on Brokeback on August 13th that started old Aguirre saying "bring'em down." That old bastard, that wadn't right!'

Ennis has never forgiven Aguirre for stealing his and Jack's last four weeks together up on Brokeback in 1963. He doesn't actually know things would have been different in the end, but always suspected that they might have found a way to talk about what they wanted, what they expected, what they hoped for, rather than just get rushed off down the mountain into a world of uncertainty and loss. Oh well, let be, let be.

"What're you grumbling about there, Cowboy?" asked Jack, coming into their bedroom.

"Aguirre telling us to bring'em down."

"Fuck Aguirre, Ennis! Ain't you never gonna get over that, darlin' ? What brought that up now anyway?"

"Lookin' at my calendar, Sunday is August 13th."

"Oh yeah, the snowstorm that barely stuck an hour."

Jack put his arms around Ennis, hugging him solidly. They were standing together near their bedroom window. Jack leaned his forehead into Ennis' and looked up through those devastating eyelashes, He started chuckling.

"What's so funny, huh?"

"Guess we did Fuck Aguirre after all, Cowboy!"

"How ya figger that?"

"Well, lookit. We're standin' here together, it's twenty years later. We're in our own home, lookin' out our own bedroom window . . . with our arms wrapped around the only one we ever wanted . . . now who do you think came out on top in the end?"

"Yeah, since you say it that way, Jack, it certainly wasn't old "You Ranch Stiffs Ain't Never No Good" Aguirre!"

Ennis' frown was replaced with a smile and he got to work on pulling his clothes out of drawers and closets.

Jack got busy packing for tomorrow's departure. Ennis couldn't believe the trouble Jack went to, packing his clothes for their trip. He'd always just stuffed his cleanest shirts in a bag, along with some underwear and socks, helter skelter. Jack was appalled. He took all of Ennis' clothes out of the suitcase, folded them and replaced them neatly in the appropriate sections. When Ennis saw what Jack had done, he didn't know whether to laugh or to get pissed off. 'Was Jack sayin' he didn't know how to pack?'

Jack saw Ennis looking at the changes he'd made in the suitcase. He grabbed Ennis by the shoulders, and pulled him down on top of him on their bed. He kissed his ear, and then quiet as a mouse, he said, "Ya got someone lookin' after ya now, Cowboy. I like doin' those little things for ya."

Jack got a real kiss for his efforts, then Ennis said "Never had no one take such good care a me, as you do, bud." Things began to get even more interesting. He nibbled on that sweet spot low down on his neck, making his man squirm just so. Heat was rising everywhere. Need to just unbutton this one button, or three. . . .

Just then someone commenced pounding on their front door. "Dad, dad! Gran's bad sick. Come quick, daddy!"

tbc


	34. Chapter 34

A Better Idea

Chapter Thirty-Four

Author's Note 1: Annie Proulx created Ennis and Jack, and their families. She wrote that when Ennis went to see Jack's parents in 1983, "Jack's mother, stout and careful in her movements as though recovering from an operation, said, "Want some coffee, don't you? Piece a cherry cake?"

A/U: Jack never returned to TX after their argument, and by that miracle, did not die. His mother's fate however, has not changed from the Canon.

Author's Note 2: I've taken the Liberty of allowing Gran to have a Surgical Breakthrough that did not yet have widespread use in 1983. Let be, let be.

Dedication: This chapter is dedicated with my thanks to Todd.

August 12th and 13th, 1983

The smell of a hospital never set well with Ennis Del Mar. It never failed to waft him back to 1957 when he was suddenly an orphan. Thirteen years old, and he would never see his parents again. He could never be sure that what he had was truly his to keep; never after that, never to this day.

Fighting the fatigue that usually follows a huge jolt of adrenaline, Ennis was getting shaky now, his skin clammy and cold. They'd been told that Mom would be in surgery for an hour or more. Jack and the old man went down the corridor to make as many phone calls as they could.

Bobby and Jenny had been left behind at the ranch and told to go over to Iris and Walter's until they got Gran to the hospital, and found out what could be the matter. Ennis promised them they'd call the minute they knew anything.

It had been Bobby pounding on Ennis and Jack's door, calling for help. When Ennis opened the front door they saw the terrified teen and Jack's truck in front of their place. While Jack drove back to his mama's place, Bobby filled them in on the sight he found in the kitchen when he returned from the barn just a few minutes earlier.

"Gran was curled up on the floor, she looked grey and pasty." Bobby said.

In a weak voice she had told him to get Jack and Ennis, please. And hurry.

When they got into the house, Jenny was already there, holding a cool cloth on Gran's forehead. JC was bringing an afghan to put over her; all she was wearing was a nightdress. If she hadn't dressed, she'd been feeling bad for some time, Ennis realized. Perhaps for several hours.

While they were asking questions, a stab of pain assailed her again, causing her to double up in a fetal position. Ennis crouched down and felt for her pulse, counting the fast beats, knowing she was frightened, as were they all. He began his horse speak to her, reassuring her, quieting her, humming a little.

Turning to the others, he spoke quietly, "Jenny go get your Gran's robe and a quilt out of her room. Please.

"Bobby will you get Gran's slippers, son?"

"Dad, will you bring your truck up close to the back door?"

"Jack, darlin', help me lift Mom up will you? Need to get her into your dad's truck, it's got the most room. Jack! Look at me, I need you to drive your dad's truck, okay? You know the roads, you will take us to the hospital."

"Jack, hand your truck keys to Bobby, okay?"

Jack and JC got Claire wrapped up decent, and Ennis motioned to Jack to pick her up in his arms, he proceeded to carry her out to the truck, settling her in the back seat. JC climbed in with her and covered her with the quilt. He was holding her hand and watching her face for signs of relief. Seeing none, he just patted her arm.

"You kids go on over to Uncle Walter's, we'll call you there, soon as we know anything, I promise. We gotta go."

When he climbed into the passenger seat, Ennis looked at Jack and nodded. "Easy does it now, Jack. Let's go."

Jack began to regain his composure as soon as they pulled out of the long gravel drive in front of the Twist' home. He was taking action; she was going to be helped as soon as he got her to the hospital.

"Mama? How you doin' mama?" Jack called to her.

"It ain't lettin' up, Jack. Don't know what . ."

Ennis saw her blanch white in the face of such pain, and damned to hell the State of Wyoming, for its broad expanses of nothing but broad expanses.

"We'll be at the hospital soon, 'bout ten minutes. Jus' hang on now, Mom."

As he talked to Mom, he patted JC's shoulder, trying to reassure him by touch, cause he sure didn't know no fine words that would help at this time.

After about twelve miles, they were through with the gravel roads with those damned cattle guards every thousand yards or so. It just about did Jack in, knowing what those bumps were doing to his mama. Soon as they got out on 59, Jack sped up a bit. He looked at Ennis for agreement, and got the nod he was hoping for.

At last Jack pulled into the Emergency Entrance in the rear of Mt. Carmel.

While Ennis ran to alert a doctor or nurse, Jack turned the truck for easier access by the medical staff.

Once inside, Ennis could do nothing productive, so he took the keys from Jack and went out to move the truck and park it in the lot. John had to fill out the paperwork to get Claire admitted, and Jack went with her to the little cubicle where she was being poked, prodded, and evaluated. They took blood and within ten short minutes were back, saying they were moving her to another area for a full diagnosis by the Staff Doctor on call.

Jack fell automatically into his competent business-man patter. He questioned nurses and doctors alike, and the consensus seemed to be Gall Bladder Attack. Once the Admitting paperwork was complete, John went to find Claire, and then Jack sought out the doctor in charge. One final test confirmed the diagnosis, and more paperwork was sent down. Claire and John agreed to sign the Surgical Agreement.

Jack handled getting her surgery expedited earlier than the staff had offered to schedule it. His mama was in pain, and they hadn't given her anything to make her comfortable; they'd waited to know exactly what was going on first. Jack negotiated with all the firmness and charm he possessed. Claire was put on the list for the next available operating room.

John stayed with his wife while they got her prepped for surgery. He couldn't believe his luck to be married to this woman, the love of his life.

Seeing her vulnerable was a first for him. She was a strong woman. But this; this felt like she needed him, been a long time since he believed that she needed him. He knew that was his own fault, wasn't no one else's. He'd abandoned her even if he was still living under the same roof, made her get stronger, needed him less and less over the years as she found she couldn't rely on him for support, moral or otherwise. Well, that was stopping here and now. John stiffened his spine without knowing he was doing it.

At 11:30 a.m. they took Claire to the operating room. Doctor Applewhite came out to talk to them, tell them what he was going to do, how long it should take. He left them with the promise that he'd personally come out and tell them how she was doing once it was over. Then he left them to go get scrubbed.

Jack put his arm around his dad's shoulder, urging him away from the O.R. doors. "Dad, let's go call the kids and let'em know about mama." Jack was familiar with this hospital. His dad had spent so many weeks here with his stroke; that Jack, not being one to sit quietly in a sick room, knew many of the doctors and nurses, as well as the entire Physical Plant.

They stopped at the Cashier's cage and got change for the pay phones to call the family. One phone call was all it ended up being. Walter got the first update, and then passed the phone to Bobby. Jack told him what was happening with Gran. He asked Bob to call his mama in Denver, let her know of his grandmother's operation and the change in plans. He would not be there as planned, maybe later.

"Bob, can I speak to Jenny now, son?"

"Sure dad, call me as soon as you know anything, okay?"

"Don't worry; you'll be the first to know Bob."

Jack reassured Jenny as best he could, told her of the surgery now taking place, and asked her to call her mother and let her know they wouldn't be getting to Riverton today. Would have to see how all this played out.

"Want me to have mama call and cancel daddy's doctor appointments tomorrow, Jack?"

"Oh, yeah. Thanks for thinking of that, Jen. And another thing? Ask her if she can contact Herman Stodemeir; he was expectin' to take Ennis to those appointments tomorrow."

"Okay, sure. Call me as soon as you know anything, anything at all, okay Jack?

Walter was standing next to Jenny's shoulder making telephone signs, so she told Jack to hang on a second. Taking the phone, Walter asked Jack to put his dad back on the line.

"Johnny, from what you say, my Sis is going to be fine. Is that right? Cause I can come up there, f'you need me to, or want me to. You know that!"

"No, Walter, nothing you can do here right now. 'Preciate it if you just keep those kids from worryin' theirselves sick. Take care a them, if you will."

"Okay, John. Iris has 'em in the kitchen making a Taco Salad for lunch, right now. You call me the minute you know something, y' hear me?"

"Will do, Walter. You know I will. Bye."

They went looking for Ennis. Not finding him in the Waiting Room, Jack decided to check outside. Sure enough, Ennis was leaning up against a short concrete wall lining the entrance walkway. It was painted purple Jack noted; just something for his mind to latch onto, something with no connection to the worries he had over the people he loves. "Hey, Cowboy."

Ennis looked up from under the brim of his hat, a worried look on his face.

"Talked to Jenny, Ennis. She'll call Alma, and let her know we ain't coming today."

"How'd she sound?"

"Well, worried, a course. Both of the kids are worried sick about mama, but Walter and Iris will be with them. And they each made me promise to call them the minute we know anything. Said, course we would."

It was then that Jack noticed Ennis was shaking. Reaching out as if to hold him, Jack got his hands slapped smartly away. "What the hell you think you're doing, Jack?" Ennis turned to see if anyone had noticed, if anyone was there to point the finger at them, scowl at them in disgust.

Pain flashed across Jack's face like Ennis had shot him. "Fuck Ennis! This is a hospital. People comfort each other all the time here." Jack didn't say it but he could sure use some comforting about now his ownself.

"Yeah? Well, I don't know . . . ."

"Shit, you're shaking like a leaf. I think you're still in shock, Cowboy. Let's go to the Cafeteria and get you some coffee, maybe a sweet roll or some orange juice. What'dya say, Ennis?"

John refused to go with them, wasn't going to budge till the doctor came out and told him Claire was okay; that his wife'd be fine.

In the lunch room, Ennis and Jack were sharing a small table, having coffee and orange juice when they heard someone call out, "Jack? That you Jack?"

Ennis watched Jack stand up and hug a blond woman, "Debra, hi!"

"Ennis, this is Debra Whalen, she was my dad's day nurse most a the time he was in here." Ennis stood too, out of courtesy.

"Debra, this here's my friend, Ennis Del Mar." They nodded and spoke.

"What's the deal, Jack? Can't you stay away from here? I hope your dad's not back again."

"Whyn't you join us, Deb? Kind of a long story, and I wanted to ask you a favor, anyway." She went and filled her coffee mug, got a muffin, then returned to their table.

Jack filled her in on his mama's condition, and emergency surgery. It happened so suddenly that we were all in shock a bit; that's why I got him over here getting some sugar into him, he was shakin' somethin' awful.

Debra nodded, told Jack that was the best thing he could do for him. "But you said you needed a favor, what you got in mind?"

"We was packed to go on a trip this morning, now all that's been cancelled. But our first stop was to be in Riverton to his doc's, to get that cast and them wires off. You know anybody who can do that for him right here?"

Debra looked at Ennis with a twinkle in her eye, "What happened to you? Jack hit ya?"

Ennis smirked, "Not lately. No, ma'm. Flipped ma truck."

"He was trying to avoid an out of control horse with his friend on its back, and this is the result. What do you think, Deb? Is this something that we can get done today?"

"Probably, but let me check this out. I'll find you in the Waiting Room, or I'll page you Jack. Okay? Gotta get back, my break's up anyway." She drained her coffee, stood up and gathered her trash. "bye, see ya later."

She leaned over, kissed Jack right square on the mouth, patted his shoulder and walked out of the lunch room.

"What in the name of holy fuck was that?!" hissed Ennis.

"What? We're friends. Christ sake, Ennis. You don't need to think everybody in the County is after me!"

"Kissin' friends, if you ask me, good god Jack."

Jack waggled his tongue at Ennis, and grinned. "Jealous, are ya? Think I like that, Cowboy."

Ennis turned and walked away from Jack, making Jack fear he'd gone too far once again. But all he was doing was walking up to order a muffin and coffee to go for Jack's dad. Food in hand, they headed back to the Waiting Room.

They'd no sooner gotten settled in the stiff, new, uncomfortable purple chairs of the Waiting Room, when Doctor Applewhite came out and approached them with a tired smile on his face. "Your wife came through with flying colors, Mr. Twist. Matter of fact, she's in the Recovery Room now, and will be waking up in the next thirty minutes or so. We tried something new on her, and she was a good candidate for it. She won't have near the recuperation time that she would normally have from this operation. Here's a brochure comparing this new method, called Laparoscopy, and the old more invasive method. "

John was only half listening. He said, "Fine, fine. When can I see my wife?" Doctor Applewhite said "The nurse will come and get you after she's settled in her room. Probably be an hour or so."

"Thank you, Doctor, thank you for everything." said John.

Jack took the brochure from his dad's hand, and spread it open across his knee. The pictures showed the old style surgery where a big "J" shape was cut into the patient's abdomen, starting up under the right ribcage, and through the muscle wall. They all peered at the photograph of an actual person and winced, thinking of the pain and rehabilitation for something as extensive as this.

Then they looked at the new method, shown again on an actual patient, and all it consisted of was three little holes poked into the same general vicinity. "It says here that they send a scope in to find the gall bladder, Guess that's why it's called Laparoscope." sighed Ennis. He was visibly calmer after getting the news about mama doing well, Jack could tell.

"What is a gall bladder, anyway?" asked John. They all three shrugged their shoulders; none of them knew what it was, nor what it was for. They sure hoped she didn't need it, though, cause now she didn't have one no more.

Debra walked in and said, "Jack, would you all come with me, please?"

As they walked into the treatment room, Jack told his dad what was going to be happening. He was curious to see it, but said as soon as they were done working on Ennis, he wanted to call Walter again, let the kids know the good news about Claire.

With only one chair in the room, Jack motioned for his dad to sit down, he kept his eye on Tom, the Physician's Assistant that Debra had found to cut Ennis' cast off. Tom had Ennis jump up on that exam table and sit down. He pulled around an armrest, placed his arm on it, making sure Ennis was comfortable with it at that height. Saying "Relax, don't move", he fired up a saw and cut that cast into two pieces by the time John got set down.

Ennis Del Mar beamed at Jack. He twisted and turned his white sickly looking arm, stared at it like it was a foreign object. He remembered his manners, and thanked Tom sincerely.

"Deb says you need another procedure as well. Are you ready?" When Ennis nodded, Tom had him climb down and sit on a stool next to the table. He unwrapped a sterile pack of tools and implements, and went to work on opening each little twist of wire, and gently sliding them out of Ennis' mouth.

Tom smiled into Ennis' eyes and said, "Most people cry when I do this, you sure are being brave. You musta heard that I give a lollipop to my especially well-behaved patients." Ennis just blushed, but Jack moved closer to his man and stood near enough to make sure Doctor Tom wasn't moving in on his territory.

When they were all done, Ennis shook Tom's hand, and thanked him for all he'd done for him. "Thanks for everything, Tom. Can't use no lollipop, but I do believe a steak is in my immediate future!" Tom beamed and held on just a second too long for Jack's liking, and so he approached again, "We need to be gettin' on, now Ennis. Our kids'll be worried if we don't call soon."

With his message subtly delivered, Jack turned toward the door. But Tom reached out, touching Ennis' sleeve, "Wait, Ennis. There's one thing you should remember."

Hat in hand, Ennis turned back to look at Tom.

"About that steak? You should hold off a day or so; work solid food back into your diet gradually. You'll know when you're ready." And reaching into his breast pocket, he said "Here's my card in case you ever need anything, anything at all." Jack reached out, took the card and without looking at it, shoved it into his own pocket, saying "Doubt he'll be needin' nuthin'. Thanks again, Doc."

Jack went to Debra's floor to thank her for arranging all this. "So should Ennis get his insurance card and go down to the payment office? You know, he never did get admitted."

"No, no, don't worry about it; we're glad to do it for you. Hardest thing was to get hold of his doctor's and verify that it was time to remove the cast and wires. You might not realize it, but lots of folks would lie to get that stuff removed."

"Yeah, and I'd probably be one of 'em. I have no patience with restraints; I couldn't believe how good Ennis was being about it. No solid food all this time, he was a saint!"

"Well, he certainly seems like a sweet man. And handsome, too."

Jack couldn't cover the blush that crept up his neck and overtook his ears.

"Yep, he is all that."

"Oh my heavens, just look at your sweet face! He's your partner, isn't he, Jack? Funny I never thought of you as . . ."

"Gay? Yep, since the day I was born. Didn't know how happy I was about it till I met Ennis in 1963, though."

"My goodness, you two been together for twenty years, Jack?"

"Yes and No, Deb. Not really. It's kind of a long story."

Ennis walked around the corner, "Jack, Mom's in her room now. We can go see her."

Writing on a small slip of paper, she said "Here Jack, here's my extension. Call me before you guys leave the hospital today, alright? C' mere, Ennis, let me see your arm." When she had checked it out thoroughly, rather than let his arm go, she pulled him into a hug and kissed him just as she had Jack earlier in the day. "I hope I'll be seeing you tonight, Ennis, Jack."

Ennis wiped his mouth on his sleeve as they walked back up the corridor toward the elevators. Mom was in 238 West. "What was that all about Jack? Seeing us later? An' why she need to be kissin' on us, huh?"

"Did you talk to the kids, Ennis?

"You know I did, Jack. Why you changin' the subject?"

"Oh nothin' Ennis. Think she's wantin' us to come to her house for supper tonight, that's all. She told me she thinks you're a handsome man, Cowboy.

"Huh, knowin' you, you probably told her I'm taken."

"Sure did; thought I was gonna hafta tell that to Doctor Tom, too!"

"I'm sure he got the message in any case, Jack, way you was hovering around, and snatching that business card right outa his hand like that."

Jack just looked sideways at Ennis and gave that little grin that lit up his eyes to about 1000 watts of blazing blue, straight at his man. "Well, guess I was a bit obvious, huh Cowboy? But you are mine now, and I'm makin' sure everyone knows it!"

"Jesus Christ, Jack. Next you'll be puttin' it in the Sundance Sentinel ! It ain't like you got anything to worry about. There ain't no one in the world for me but you, bud." Ennis turned to Jack, thinking a kiss would make his point better than words could, but . . .

The elevator doors opened. They turned to the right, and hurried down the hallway towards Room 238 West. Dad was in there, his chair pulled up close to the bed. He was holding her hand while she slept intermittently.

"How's she doin?" asked Jack.

"She come 'round, spoke a few words just now. Wondered where you two was at. I told her about you getting your cast and wires off, and she was very happy for you."

"Always thinkin' a others; did she say how SHE felt?"

"Well, yeah. She was kinda groggy. Told me she didn't need an operation cause all her pain went away. She was surprised when I told her the operation was over."

Within the next couple of hours, Claire woke up several times, and each time she was more "herself". She talked happily to Jack and Ennis, all the while still holding John's hand.

Around 4:30 they could hear the supper carts coming along the corridor outside her room. Claire acknowledged being starved. Hadn't eaten since supper the night before, and all a that came up during the night anyway. When her men saw that her tray contained nothing but chicken broth, jello and cranberry juice, they flinched. But she was grateful for every bite and sip and enjoyed every morsel. It hit the spot.

When she had no more than finished her food, the door opened and the med cart was pushed in; they had to step out of the room while the nurse took her vitals, and some blood, and then they came back. They were all tired, so they knew she must be too. Ennis began, "Well, I guess we should. . ."

The phone on her bedside table rang; Jack was closest, so he answered it.

"Hello." Then "Sure Walter, she's right here. Let me hand her the phone."

Nothing reassures quite like hearing the voice of the one you are worried about. This turned out to be a marathon phone call as Walter, Iris, Bobby and Jenny all had to have a turn, talking to her and hearing for themselves that she sounded good and was okay now.

Jack and Ennis decided they were definitely heading out soon, going to spend this night in their own home, in their own bed. Jenny and Bobby were staying the night at Iris' insistence, so that was settled.

Walter said that he, Jenny, Bobby and several of the kids had taken care of the chores on Johnny and Sis' place today, so not to worry about a thing. In the back of Ennis' mind he'd been worried all day about the stock, and the horses, so when Walter reassured him that all was well, he felt ever so much better. 'This thing a havin' family, ta have yer back when ya need it; well there ain't nuthin' like it any better.' thought Ennis Del Mar.

John was staying the night, in one a those chairs that folds out to make a twin bed; there was no talking him out of it, and no one dared try.

While Jack called Debra to tell her they were going to go on home, with a Thanks Anyway and ask for a Rain Check, Ennis said his goodbyes and goodnights to Mom and Dad.

The drive back from the hospital seemed smoother and shorter than it had this morning when mama was in pain, thought Jack. Back in Lightning Flat they stopped at Walter's to see the kids and give them big hugs sent from Gran. Bobby squirmed, but Jack said "It's not my fault, Bobby, Gran said I had to give you this hug from her. Oh, and this." And he kissed him on the cheek, which Bobby promptly rubbed off with his sleeve. "Jeez, dad!"

Jenny, on the other hand, appreciated being in her dad's arms and relished the "hug sent from Gran" as a good sign of being remembered on this scary day. Jenny wondered how it was possible to already be closer to Gran Twist than to Grandma Beers, after knowing her all her life. It seemed a miracle.

Iris insisted they stay for supper, and not having any other plans about food at the moment, they gladly relented. When Ennis opened his mouth to take his first bite of solid food in many weeks, Jenny gasped. "Daddy you can eat now! Let me see." And they all admired Ennis' wire free mouth.

"Not only that, darlin', look at your daddy's arm." said Jack. And Ennis rolled up his sleeve for Show N Tell. Bobby groaned, "You're gonna hafta get that thing out in the sun, Ennis. Looks more like a dead Carp than a man's arm." Ennis punched Bobby lightly on the shoulder, and challenged him with a grin, "Don't think it don't work good as new, now boy; I might have to prove it to ya."

Walter grinned and advised Bobby not to let his mouth get him into some deep waters. They all appreciated Ennis' new health status, then got down to some serious eating. It had been a long, hard day for all of them.

Iris had cooked and baked most of the afternoon. She wanted to have at least one week's worth of meals to bring to Claire when she got out of the hospital. Cooking's the last thing she wanted her sister-in-law worrying about, or spending her precious energy on when she got home.

It sure felt good to walk into their own house; never been away from it so long since they finished fixing it up. They hung their hats and jackets on the hooks by the door, and walked straight into their bedroom and undressed. Neither one had stopped to shower this morning when Bobby had roused them with his frantic pounding. That was high on their agenda. They were so tired they ached, but in a good way, now that Gran was being looked after. They each showered and shaved, didn't need to talk about what that meant.

When they finally hit their bed, they just lay there for a spell on the sheets, covers pulled down, stretching and pulling the kinks out of tired muscles. Working a ranch all day doesn't knot up your muscles as bad as sitting around worrying in a stiff hospital chair.

"Want me to get some horse liniment and give you a good rub down, Cowboy?" Jack teased.

"Don't mind if you do, bud. I could sure use it."

Jack found some lotion in their bedside table drawer and told Ennis to roll over onto his stomach. He clambered over top him and straddled him, poured a good hand full of lotion across his shoulders and back, began to rub it across with his warm hands.

"Good god, what is that, Jack? Smells like roses or violets or sumthin'."

"Well, it says here Nature's Garden, guess mama put it in our bathroom for us. I know I sure didn't buy it. Want me to stop here and wipe it off?"

"Yeah, will you? See if we got sumthin' else? I don't really wanta spend the night smellin' like this, but my muscles need your hands on'em tonight for sure, Jack."

Nothing else came to Jack's hand though he checked every cabinet and drawer they had. He came back in the room shaking his head, and by that time, Ennis' had about enough of smelling like a flower. He jumped up from the bed and got into his jeans, shoved his feet into boots with no socks and headed out the door. "Got somethin', just remembered it, hold on." and he was gone.

Two minutes later he was back from the lean-to stable with a plastic jar in his hands. Jack took it, opened the lid and felt the contents, smelling to see if it was agreeable. "Hm, nice. This might just do." he said as he read the label. It wasn't horse liniment, but it was for horses. He read aloud, "Straight Arrow brand, The Hoofmaker. The Exclusive Intensive Protein Hoof Treatment."

Jack continued to read the label; last thing he wanted was to fool around and do anything that would hurt Ennis, even if they thought it was all in fun. The label read "Follow Directions Carefully - Apply with brush or by hand. Massage well with fingertips. Apply as needed or perhaps as recommended by your professional equine authority. Every application should be thorough, covering entire coronary band, walls, frog and sole. Formula is non-greasy, and not sticky. Depending upon your particular equine's lifestyle, the number of applications is best determined by the handler/owner."

The more he read, the more they giggled, until Jack got that certain leer on his face and commanded, "Get over here and lay down, Equine! No matter your lifestyle, I as your "handler" will determine how many applications you need!"

Ennis ran to the other side of the bed, and said "No, not till you get this awful flowery stuff off me, can't take it no more!"

So, they got to the bathroom sink and Jack lathered up a wash rag with good ol' Zest soap and scrubbed the offending lotion off of Ennis as best he could.

Instead of drying his back with a towel, Jack locked his arms around Ennis' waist and kissed his back and shoulders, rubbed them good with his freshly shaved cheeks and chin until he was almost dry. He went on nuzzling for quite some time, until finally Ennis said, "Christ, ain't I dry yet, Jack?"

"Oh sure, was that all you was wantin', Ennis? You was dry ten minutes ago."

And then he laughed again, smacked Ennis smartly on the butt, and said,

"Come on Equine, your handler needs some time with you."

Ennis snuggled comfortably on the bed, stomach down, head on his folded arms and waited for Jack to begin applying the hoof cream. When nothing happened he turned over to find his man just taking in the sight of him laying there in all his glory, just the way he was born. This kind of thing always flustered Ennis. He didn't know why Jack wanted to look on him this way, it's not like he was good lookin' or beautiful the way Jack is.

Jack's face had that soft adoring look on it that we've come to know when he's looking on the beautiful man he loves. He was lookin' at those shoulders, that strong back, the perfect ass, those long legs that came down to feet that attracted him just because they were a part of Ennis. Every part of him was what Jack had waited for all these years. Having him here, every night and every day at last, was heaven on earth for Jack Twist.

Finally, he broke free of his reverie; Jack rubbed his hands together to warm them, and dipped into the cream. He began applying it to Ennis' shoulders. "Got you some knots here, Cowboy. You been all worked up today haven't you?"

"Yeah, guess I have." Ennis mumbled sleepily. "This morning really scared me, bud. Don't know what I'd do if anythin' happened to Mom."

"We ain't gonna let nothin' happen to her, Ennis. You know we won't. The two a us will see to her, no matter what. Don't you worry none on that score."

Jack's hands worked on the taut back and then slid further down and began kneading Ennis' ass. His mind wandered to other than therapeutic aims. Before long, he was sliding his creamy hands up and down the cleft between the two halves of the perfect whole. Ennis was moaning and began to writhe and push up into Jack's hands.

"Wait, boy, we still got your legs and feet to do. Quit it!" said Jack, and he leaned over and kissed Ennis' back and butt . . .but his hands steadfastly continued downward to make true his statement. Ennis' thighs are beautifully shaped, and muscular. Jack spent a lot of time on each one, being careful not to smooth his hands too far up the inside of them. . .to the Land of No Return. Jack squeezed and pushed hard on Ennis' feet, loving each one, kissing each toe, and then heading back up the calves to knead and pull, smoothing those muscles.

Ennis was relaxed as a piece of cooked spaghetti, but he'd been deprived way too long and he set about getting Jack to lay back and accept some attention; take his turn at a little body rub. He put some cream on his own hands, but not on Jack. He began briskly rubbing Jack's arms, stretching his biceps, running his hands down the forearms and hands. He massaged each hand and the fingers, pulling on them, and rubbing each one. Back up the arms, then down Jack's chest and ribs. The farther south he got, the slower he seemed to go.

Ennis lay beside Jack and began kissing and sucking his neck and down his chest. He circled his navel with his tongue and dipped in briefly, making sweet contact and making Jack suck in his breath. He cupped Jack's ass with both hands, and licked and sucked on his stomach below the navel, just following the trail of dark hair. By this time, Ennis was moving lower, his legs kneeing Jack's to open them, allowing himself to kneel inside.

Jack was anticipating Ennis' direction and he was beginning to writhe, wanting contact with that hot, wet mouth. "Oh, baby . . ." said Jack.

Ennis took a tentative lick of Jack's cock and said, "Mmmmm, been missing the taste a you, Jack Twist, need ta make up for lost time." And then he spoke no more. Filling his mouth with Jack's velvety heat, Ennis thought he'd missed this more than anything. Sucking on Jack, licking up that throbbing vein, cupping his sweet sac in his hands, then taking them in his mouth, one by one, sucking gently. Ennis thought for sure he could do this all day and all night, but their bodies had other ideas.

Jack's hands were in Ennis' hair, making the curls stand up wildly. Nothing ever looked sexier in Jack's mind, except when that man looked up at him with his cock down his throat. When he again had Jack fully in his mouth, hitting the back of his throat, he began to hum. The vibration sent Jack right to the edge, and he yelled, "Oh fuck Ennis! Too good, can't hold . ." but he was over the edge just by thinking about how good it felt, and Ennis thrilled at making his man feel so good; his own cock dripping and leaking on the bedsheets. Swallowing all the hot cream spurting down the back of his throat, Ennis had never felt so loved. ' If this is what loving a man means, let me love this man until my dying day.' Jack crooned, "Ennis, c'mere baby." He pulled on Ennis to urge him up to his face.

Ennis was celebrating, and Jack was going to get the full treatment tonight. Moving back up to Jack's mouth, he kissed him deeply and shared the taste of Jack. Ennis knew that tasting himself in Ennis' mouth turned Jack on all over again.

Kissing Jack gave Ennis such joy that he was somehow lost in him, sliding their tongues together, sucking on that tongue was sweet. Ennis began to probe and push, fucking Jack's mouth with his tongue. They were holding each other tightly, and straining to become one person, one body melting into the other; never to be separated again.

When Ennis pulled away, he put two fingers into Jack's mouth, he instinctively sucked them vigorously, wetting them for their known future purpose. While holding Jack, Ennis dropped his hand down, caressing his side, and cupping his ass. He began sliding his fingers down his lovely cleft, little by little, probing the fingers inside Jack's warm channel. He doubled up those fingers and stretched his man for a bit. Ennis again got down between Jack's legs, lifted one up over his shoulder and looked at his blessed destination. Jack wasn't ready yet, he could tell. Ennis lay down and pulled Jack toward him, spreading his cheeks and licking around and around, then he probed his tongue in once, then deeply tongue fucked Jack's ass.

Jack was almost lost again, moaning and calling out nonsense words as well as his lover's name. "Come on, Ennis, please. Can't wait." Instinctively, in a purely animal reaction, Jack tried to back into Ennis' face, That was the sign Ennis was waiting for. He sat up on his knees and smoothed his dick with the hoof cream, then pulled Jack's legs till his knees were both up over his own shoulders. Grabbing Jack's hips, he pulled him closer, until the tip of his dick was at the entrance he desired. "Come on, Ennis! Fuck me, Fuck me now!" At those words, Ennis could wait no longer.

"Need you so fuckin' bad, baby." And he pushed into Jack with all the heat and speed he had built up. All the waiting was over, he languidly slid in and out of his man and took his time in loving attention, bending over him to kiss his mouth, kiss-bruised and swollen already. But when he felt Jack's muscular walls clenching on his dick, Ennis pushed hard. He sunk his full length into Jack as hard as he could, and he knew they were both yelling obscenities to the heavens.

Those last few strokes were wild and hard, both making the thrusts that slapped skin against skin until their bodies were bursting with the need to come; the red, blue and gold fireworks flared behind their eyelids, they spewed forcefully and simultaneously, calling each other's names, Ennis filling Jack with every drop he had to give. They crumpled together, one hot, sweaty heap of man flesh.

"Sunofabitch!" Jack whispered. "Did we die?"

"If we did, it sure as hell was worth it." he smiled.

They recovered their breath, and kissed each other's faces, ears and necks. Anything they could reach, or have the energy to find was fair game to nibble on. "You wanna get a shower, hmmm?" "Nuh uh, too tired." "K, we'll get one in the morning." "K."

"Goodnight darlin'."

"Night."

At 7:00 the next morning, they were awakened once again by someone knocking on their front door. Groggily reaching for jeans, they both went barefoot and bed headed to the door to see what was the matter this time.

Opening the door, when would they learn to put in a peep hole? they encountered Lureen and her mother, Irene Newsome, standing there in all their finery. Bobby was looking sheepish, he knew he shouldn't have brought them unannounced, but his mother had insisted it would be fine to do so.

"Morning, Jack, you're looking well." smirked Lureen. "Ennis, I presume."

Knowing they looked like they were rode hard and put away wet; they knew they also reeked of last night's sex. Never at a loss for words, even Jack Twist was moved to stammer.

"Come in." offered Ennis. "Can I make ya some coffee?"

Finally Lureen took pity on them and said, "I'll make the coffee, you got anything for breakfast? You go on and get your showers and wake up a bit, we got plenty of time."

And with that, they stumbled back into their bedroom to get ready for this day, whatever it might hold.

tbc


	35. Chapter 35

A Better Idea

Chapter Thirty-Five

Disclaimer: These characters were created by Annie Proulx. I'm just borrowing them for a bit. This story and any errors are all mine.

Author's Note: Faithful Readers, There will only be one or two more chapters of A Better Idea, and then an epilogue. Thank you for staying with my vision on this; wanting Jack to live, wanting them to have a life together. That's my answer to Ennis' "You got a better idea?"

August 14th through August 21st, 1983

Lureen and her mother had come up the day before from Denver after getting Bobby's call. They'd planned to stop over on the road somewhere and come on up to Lightning Flat in the morning. But when they called to say they were on their way and were getting settled for the night in a ramshackle little motel in Gillette, Iris had insisted that her niece, as she still thought of Lureen, just come on up and stay with family. Bobby was still quite shaken over Gran's sudden illness, and was surely looking forward to having his mother and gramma here with him. They arrived, thanks to good directions from Walter, around 8 p.m. Iris was the picture of hospitality, and made them feel welcome and quite comfortable.

The women found an immediate affinity for one another. After all these years of Lureen refusing to come to Wyoming from Childress; and the elder Twist family, never making their way to Texas from Lightning Flat, they were now meeting face to face and felt no strangeness.

Walter couldn't help a little bit of chauvinism. Thinking he was being charming, he said, "My, my, you are as pretty as Jack always said you were."

And to Irene, "I can see where our Lureen gets her looks."

The women, however, didn't take offense and couldn't help but like his warm welcome and generous nature. Walter never met the person he couldn't talk the arm off of, and Irene and her daughter both thought "Jack comes by it naturally, to be sure."

They accepted a light supper that Iris insisted was no trouble, and it wasn't very long before the entire group was gathered around the kitchen table having dessert. It took Lureen back more than she'd expected to meet Jenny Del Mar. When she heard that name, she almost flinched; realizing that she was Ennis' daughter. After all these years, here was his flesh and blood sitting right across the table from her.

It had been a long one for everybody, so it was no surprise that they called it a day as soon as the kitchen was neatened up. Lureen was intending to say goodnight to Bobby, when she happened upon him and Jenny in the hallway saying their good nights. She didn't eavesdrop, couldn't if she'd wanted to, but she had eyes. Could see the body language. Oh my. Her little boy was not so little anymore. Interesting.

After kissing Jenny goodnight, Bob went to his mama's room to tell her good night as well. He didn't realize how much he had missed her until he saw her tonight, and it showed in his face. Another thing that showed was how much older, and more grown up he looked. He asked his mother why she had come up here, rather than wait for him to come to Denver, and she said there were several reasons; reasons that she wanted to discuss with his father, before talking to him about them.

"Well, I ain't leaving here, if that's what you're thinking!" He stated firmly.

"You can't make me!"

"Bobby, no. That's not my intention at all. Don't worry about that, son." Affirmed Lureen. "Sounds like you're happy here, and I'm glad. But I can't help wondering how much it has to do with that young lady you were kissing in the hall just now."

"You been spying on me, mama?"

"Bobby, I think you know me better than that. Let's not get sidetracked, son."

"Guess you're right, mama. You were never like that. Sorry, I didn't mean that." he said. "I sure am glad to see you. Didn't realize how much I missed you till I saw you tonight." Her tall son hugged her and Lureen couldn't help but compare him with the boy she met and fell in love with all those years ago.

"I've missed you too, Bobby. But everything is so changed, it's not as bad as it would be if I was back in our home in Childress without you and your dad. You know what I mean?"

"Sure do, mama. The same with me. Everything is new and different in my life up here." His statement reminded her again of his attentions to Jenny there in the hall.

So, what's going on with you and Jenny Del Mar, Bob?"

"I love her, mama."

"Oh, land sakes! My whole family is being taken over by the Del Mar charm." Lureen was half serious, half teasing him.

Bobby grinned sheepishly, and said "Yeah, guess that's true, very true. But MY Del Mar is leaving to go to college in Riverton, should have left this morning; anyway that was the plan."

"What was the entire plan before your grandma Twist got sick?"

"Gran. Not grandma. She asked us to call her Gran."

"Oh? Who is US?" asked Lureen as she sat at the old fashioned vanity table brushing her long, auburn hair, and watching Bobby's face in the mirror. "Since your daddy is her only child, you are her only grandchild, Bobby."

"Jenny and Junior, a course, mama. Ennis' girls."

Lureen was totally confounded, and decided she was barking up the wrong tree if she wanted a peaceful discussion with her grown son. She was determined to not let jealousy raise its ugly head at this late date, and to be as open to whatever was going on here, as she could possibly manage to be.

"So, back to my question then. Before your Gran got sick, what was your plan of action?"

"Well, this morning we were to take Jenny home to Riverton, where her mama lives, and her sister too. Like I said, she's going to start college there in a few weeks. Ennis would go to the doctor there too; his appointments were for tomorrow, actually." Lureen couldn't help wondering what was wrong with Ennis Del Mar, but didn't ask, didn't want to interrupt Bobby now that she had him on the right conversational track.

"The next day, they was gonna drive me to Denver, and leave me to visit with you and gramma. Then dad 'n Ennis would go on their wedding trip. They'd be back in ten days or so to pick me up, bring me back here so I could start school. That's the whole plan."

Lureen had barely heard a word past "wedding trip" and was sitting there, mouth open and brush held in the air. "Mama, what's wrong?" he asked.

Bobby had become so enmeshed in this large extended family that he no longer questioned how people were related to one another, only that they were a part of the family fabric; weaving that warm and strong connection.

Once again, Lureen caught herself before damaging the fragile link she had forged with this tall son. She closed her mouth and resumed brushing her hair. "Oh, I was just thinking of something. Sorry, Bob, I got sidetracked. You were saying that your dad and Mr. Del Mar were going on a trip?"

"Yes'm, dad 'n Ennis figured that while I'm away, and Jenny's gone, that Gran and Poppa could be on their own for awhile with Uncle Walter's and Aunt Iris' help, a course; so the two a them could get away together for a bit. Mama, you can't believe how there's always someone around to help ya out up here, it's good, really good."

"I can see that you appreciate them, Bob." Lureen was an only child, and Jack was an only child. They produced only one son, and this seemed normal to her. It would take more than these few hours she'd been here before the concept of a large, supportive family would become a reality in her mind.

"Well Bobby, I'm finished with my hundred strokes, so you know it's time you were in bed, and me too."

"Sure been a long day. Goodnight, mama." He leaned over to kiss her cheek and caught a light whiff of her perfume. Her scent evoked feelings from when he was a small boy; it was a good memory of being held and cared for.

She patted his back lightly and told him goodnight. "Let's head on over to your Gran's house bright and early tomorrow, I want to talk to your daddy right away."

"Okay, mama, but Gran's in the hospital; her house is empty. Dad 'n Ennis don't live there anymore, they got their own place. Fixed it up real nice."

Seemed every other word out of Bobby's mouth took her breath away. Was there nothing left of the husband she had known? Did "her" Jack Twist not exist anymore? Not that she wanted him back; she knew deep in her heart, she did not. But she wanted to recognize the man she'd married all those years ago. Would she know him when she saw him?

She'd formed an impression that Bobby didn't have a daddy anymore, not a single individual person; only this person he kept calling "dad'nEnnis" as if it was one name. One well-loved name. Yes, dammit, she was jealous! How could her son cleave to this new union, when the old one wasn't even cold yet? 'Well, shit,' she thought, 'maybe it was cold, had been cold for quite a spell.' Lureen's head began to pound; she walked into the bathroom for a cool wash cloth.

"Okay, Bob. I'll be up by six o'clock; can you take me to wherever your daddy is staying? Thank you. See you in the morning." She ushered him out of her room and quietly closed the door behind him. Such was her turmoil that she barely noticed the four poster bed made up with fresh linen, old family quilts and downy pillows. She dropped off to sleep in this strange room, and slept like a log.

Down the hall, her mother had an equally spacious and comfortable room. She spent some time talking to Iris and looking at old family picture albums, before turning in for a good night's sleep.

In the morning, her mother and Bobby prevailed upon Lureen to wait until seven o'clock to drop in on "dad'nEnnis". Jenny frowned, refused to go along on this expedition; didn't feel she could add anything to the proceedings. And Lureen had another early morning jolt. The person Jenny referred to constantly with warmth was "dad'nJack". Didn't want to wake "dad'nJack" after all they'd been through the day before, etc.

:-:-:-:

When she saw them standing together at their open door, it was apparent. Lureen saw it. They were together. Good god, here stood "Jack'nEnnis" in their own home. Still disheveled by sleeping in "their" bed, they were painfully aware of their appearance. They shouldn't have been, Lureen thought they were totally endearing. So she shooed them off to the showers and offered to make coffee herself, and scrounge around for something for breakfast.

No longer unsure of what Jack had with his Ennis Del Mar all those years, she now saw it. Saw what they had given up to "do the right thing". Saw the futility of all those years, all that driving, all that loneliness, all that drinking. It didn't hurt any less to know that she never had a chance because he had loved Ennis before he ever met her, but it did help to know that it had been made right, after all this time. She didn't have to feel so guilty about pursuing her own path; she was free.

Bobby showed her and gramma around the little home. He called it the "old Bell Place", seemed it had been vacant and uncared for until "Dad'nEnnis" made it theirs. Had belonged to the parents of Jack's mother. Okay, she was beginning to fill in some of the blanks of the family tree.

Irene told her daughter that she was going back to have a nice long breakfast with Iris and Walter, Bobby could drive her back. That left Lureen to have her private talk with Jack, and uh . . .

"You mean "Dad'nEnnis" Mama?"

"What dear?"

"Never mind, mama, I'll tell you later."

Ennis noticed that Jack hardly ever called his wife (as Ennis thought of her) by her name. Usually he called her Honey. Still. In front of Ennis and everyone. Jack still liked Lureen and acted very friendly toward her, hugging her and patting her here and there. It was a far cry from the way Ennis and Alma had ended their marriage, so it took a little getting used to, but he kind of liked it.

One of the main reasons Lureen wanted to see Jack in person was that she had the Final Order of Divorce, and it only needed his signature. That done, they could get on to other topics.

Lureen gave Jack copies of all the papers as well as a sizeable cashier's check, part of the settlement between the two; the division of the assets accrued during their marriage. He didn't look at it, just tucked it away in the top drawer of their chest of drawers.

"I wanted to see you without delay, to settle up some of these things we've just done. Since your mother got sick and your plans had to change, we decided to drive up and get Bobby, to save you the trip. I miss that boy more than I like to think about, and couldn't wait another day. That's the bottom line."

Jack jumped up from the table and started pacing, "you ain't thinkin' a takin' him back with you, fer good, are ya?"

"No Jack, you know I ain't set up for that. Not sayin' that I wouldn't . . "

Looking relieved, Jack just kept looking at Lureen's face. He saw no sign of duplicity. Just an honest statement of how she felt.

"Sides, he set me straight, the first rattle out of the box last night."

"What d'ya mean by that, honey? Was that boy rude to you?"

"No, Jack, he wasn't. And I'm not so sure we got ourselves a boy anymore. He seems more like a young man now. A young man who knows his own mind, and heart too, apparently."

Jack and Ennis both peered at her, waiting to hear what happened. She related the story of how Bobby let her know that there was no way he was leaving his dads' home and family up here, now that he'd found them.

Those blue eyes sought the liquid chocolate ones and held. Ennis was so pleased he pinked up clean to the tops of his ears. He looked down to hide his smile; he felt Jack reach over and take his hand in his. Seemed they let out a collective breath; they had themselves a son, gonna keep him too.

Ennis started to stand, "Why don't I get you two some more coffee, and let you have some pri. . ."

Lureen reached over and took hold of Ennis' wrist. "Please stay, Ennis, okay?"

"Okay, if you're sure then."

She brought up the old plan, the new plan and their trip. Once everything was discussed, it was settled. Lureen and Irene would take Jenny and Bobby to Riverton today. They'd meet Alma and Junior if possible, or just drop off Jenny at home. Then they'd take Bobby and go back to Denver till Jack and Ennis came to pick him up in a week or two, before school starts.

"Speaking of Jenny, you know that Bobby's infatuated with her, right? You been keeping an eye on that?" Lureen asked.

"Yeah, says he loves her. But they are being sensible, Honey. Know they each have school and separate lives and so forth. They're good kids."

"Okay, long as you're aware and in charge."

"We are." said Ennis, first he'd actually contributed to the conversation.

"So, about this trip you're takin' . . . what's the occasion?"

"Sure you want to hear this, honey?" asked Jack. At that, Lureen nodded.

"Well, it's for our honeymoon. Need some time, just us - you know? It's been a long hard road a gettin' here, and we're needing to get away some, relax. Ya know?"

Ennis jumped in, "Leastways that was the plan. Now we'll have to see since Mom's had her surgery." Lureen did not fail to note the "mom" and the "we" fall effortlessly out of the man's mouth.

At that, Ennis looked up at the kitchen clock. It was almost 8 a.m. and time to call the hospital. They couldn't wait to find out what time they could pick up the parents and bring them home where they belonged. While Jack went to dial the number, Ennis stayed with Lureen.

"Why'd you make him wait so long, Del Mar?"

"Scared a what folks'd think, I guess, ma'm."

"What changed your mind now?"

"Almost lost that man for good. You prob'ly know he was gettin' tired a it all, him doing all the drivin', all the tryin', and all the givin'. I'm sorry, is this too much for you to hear?"

"No, guess I knew it all along. You two ever catch a fish in all them years?"

"Naw, can't say as we ever did catch a single one." Ennis was blushing again, and she laughed at him.

He continued. "This Spring, the last time we met up in the Bighorns, we had an awful fight with words that sounded so final, so hurtful. . . over me not being able to give him more a my time, kept disappointing him. Thought we had killed whatever we had left. Then his letter came, telling me about his dad's stroke and asking for my help. Couldn't refuse. No way I could've stayed away anymore. It was just to help on weekends at first, and it was good, but we was still saying good bye ever' fu. . ever single time."

"What happened to change that pattern?"

"My accident."

"Bobby said something about you going to the doctor in Riverton, what's that all about Ennis?"

"Oh, I flipped my truck, tryin' a avoid hitting a horse and rider at work. Then Jack flew down and got me outa the hospital and brought me up here to recuperate . . . alongside the old man. That was it. Never have left since."

Ennis continued, "Ya know, I almost decided to never came back after you called up here that day, my first weekend here."

Lureen knew exactly what he was talking about. That's when she knew that there was no "other woman" and her competition was Jack's fishing buddy.

"I'm real sorry; I want you to know that. We been together since Brokeback, whether we knowed where the other was at or not. After we saw each other again in '67, I knew he had a wife and a boy, but you weren't real to me. That's no excuse, I realize. But he was mine first, you know? I told myself it wasn't wrong, only took him from you two or three times a year. That was before; before I heard your voice on that phone. . . "

"You don't need to explain, Ennis. I know how it is. But you were wrong. You took him from me 365 days of every fuckin' year since I met him."

Conflicting emotions fluttered around in Ennis' belly like butterflies; knew he should feel ashamed of how he done this young wife, but hearing how Jack was HIS every day of his life sure did sound good; matched Ennis' craving for that blue eyed boy every fuckin' day of his own life too. "Well . . . " was all he could say.

"Water under the bridge now." she said. "I wish you well, I really do. You've waited long enough, worked at it long enough. You two deserve your shot at happiness just like anybody does. You shoulda seen his face the day he told me he wanted a divorce . . . he was glowing." She stood to refill their coffee cups.

"Was still glowin' when him and Bobby got to Riverton. My girls were there and we had us a picnic. Our first family picnic, our first family meeting too."

Lureen had to sit back down at that. "What do you mean 'First Family Meeting'?"

And he briefly told her of the meal, and the singing; how fine a voice Jack has, and Bobby playing the harmonica for them. He told of the kids calling a meeting and saying they'd decided they wanted to be brother and sisters.

Lureen felt that Ennis was describing a movie about people she had never known. It bore no resemblance to the family life she had offered her husband and her son. Lureen remembered with raw clarity the home she had made for Jack and Bobby. L.D. lording it over everyone; his pinched face openly displaying disrespect for her husband, always referring to him not by name, but as "Rodeo". Her mother, Irene, was so squelched under her L.D.'s thumb; she nearly disappeared into the wallpaper.

Ennis was unaware of her thoughts and he recalled more of the memory; told her of the trip to take the girls home, and Jack stopping for ice cream, and then him telling Alma they were a family now, and how it was gonna be from here on.

"Speaking of your ex-wife, Ennis. You think she'd agree to a visit from me when I bring Jenny home?"

"Don't know about that. She and I sure don't get along the way you and Jack do. You and him seem like you like each other, like you are friends. Alma has been pretty angry over all this. She was good to Jack though, and brought him to the hospital from the airport to get me, so maybe she's coolin' off some, or gettin' used to the idea. I don't know, but it's worth a try, ma'm."

"Ennis Del Mar, what can I do to get you to call me Lureen? We're practically related, ain't we?"

He ducked his blond head and blushed a deep shade of pink, smiling up at her, he said, "Guess you ain't wrong about that, Lureen."

Jack was tired of hiding and waiting for these two to do the dance of the Wife and the Other Woman, or whatthehellever it was called in this situation. His phone call to the hospital had only taken two minutes, but when he returned to the doorway he heard Ennis say "almost decided to never come back", a fact which Jack knew in his bones but it had never been acknowledged between them. Jack had scrambled to find the right things to say that day, as Ennis was sincerely distraught over stealing Jack from Lureen and Bobby. He could only try his best, and thankfully, he'd gotten Ennis to promise to come back; they'd sure come a long way since then.

Jack had stood up and faced Lureen, found they both wanted a divorce. And that he wanted Bobby to live with him. Then Ennis had faced Alma too, about them being a family. This was hard work, but the results were worth working for . . . it was worth Everything in the World to have Ennis beside him in this house, in this life.

He decided to make some noise, and then walk back into their line of sight.

"Okay, daddy says mama will be discharged by Noon. We got a couple hours before we can go get them. What say we go over and see what Iris is serving for breakfast?"

"But I want to, really!" cried Jenny.

Gran had turned down Jenny's offer to stay at the ranch and take care of her instead of going home to Riverton to school.

"Your future is more important, Jenny." said Gran. "You can't know how fast opportunities fly past and then they're gone. You go to school, honey, Iris will take good care a me, and so will your Poppa. You'll be back for the Christmas holidays before you know it. Okay, sweetie?"

Gran squeezed Jenny's hand. "I appreciate you for wanting to help me, but it's not necessary, and not the time for it."

"Okay, if you're sure, Gran." Jenny replied.

Claire rested for about thirty minutes after making the trip home, and then Lureen and Irene came in. Jack introduced his wife to his mother, for the very first time. "My dear girl." She said as she hugged Lureen Hello. Bobby stood close by feeling proud as a peacock over the "two women in his life" finally meeting. Well, three, but he would think on Jenny later.

Irene gratefully made Claire's acquaintance, and then stepped back to let the younger ones talk to their Gran, and see for themselves that she was going to be okay. Irene helped Iris make up Claire's bed with fresh linen; they placed her medicine and a package of clean bandages nearby. She fetched a glass of water for the bedside table, and filled the hot water bottle for the foot of the bed.

Iris had brought over the hot casserole, salad and rolls that she'd made for the homecoming meal. She wanted to get it all set up and then leave. Let these people settle in. Rest if they needed to.

Iris reminded Irene and Lureen that the afternoon was slipping away. She suggested they stay one more night here. Get an early start in the morning.

Both were so wrung out, they decided that was a grand idea. They gladly accepted. She left them then, to go home with Walter.

He and John were standing off to the side, talking. But he had his eye on his sister, seemed like she came out of it just fine. He'd been more worried than he let on.

Jenny came over, put her arms around her Poppa's waist, and laid her head on his chest. "I was so worried." she said. "And I missed you." John Twist was over the moon; this girl had wormed her way into his heart, she was the grand daughter he thought he'd never have. Walter patted John on the shoulder, "I'm gonna talk to my sis now, if these women folk are done fussin' over her."

'Clink!' Ennis and Jack tipped their beers towards one another, tapped the longnecks in a toast. "Here's to us, darlin'." A smile and a nod.

"Didja ever think we'd . . "

"Nope. Sure as hell didn't"

"Ahhhh" said Jack, stretching his back, both arms high over his head. "It's been a good week, Ennis. We still got several more days, and then when we leave - and this is the best part - we get to drive home together."

"You told me "it could be like this - just like this always" but I didn't believe you, Jack Fuckin Twist."

"Yeah, well that's water under the bridge, can't change the past; we can only look toward the future. Our future, Ennis."

They were sitting in lounge chairs in the yard of their rented cabin up in the mountains, northwest of Silver Cliff, waiting for another spectacular sunset. Ennis had him a soft spot for the night sky, and always wanted to share the beauty with Jack. Too often, they were still working and failed to take note of the oranges and pinks that streaked the sky over the Twist ranch.

As the sun went down, the air cooled perceptibly. Ennis wrapped his arms around Jack as they snuggled in the same lounge chair. He pointed. "Look, there's a falling star! Make a Wish, Jack."

"Got everything I ever wished for, Ennis Del Mar."

"Oh, you sweet talking devil, C'mere."

Jack turned his face up for Ennis' kiss and moved in deeply, keeping it soft and sweet. Even with the snuggling and the heat from their passion, Ennis felt Jack shiver. "Come on, you. We're goin' inside where it's warmer. Might still have a bit of a fire if you're lucky."

"Maybe we could catch Simon and Simon, huh?"

"Could be. If you're bored, bud."

"Not bored, just a little tired tonight. We been going non-stop for the last five days. Getting' to be regular tourists, ain't we?"

"Yep, we sure are. It's amazin to me, Jack. So much to see and do in one place. I think if we planned five weeks in Denver and surroundin areas, we could spend every day seeing somethin different." Ennis continued, "That Zoo blew my mind. Seein' all them animals. Never thought I'd live to see a lion, or a tiger up close and for real. Saw'em both this week. Have I told you how glad I am that you gave me that camera before we went to the Zoo?"

Jack grinned up at Ennis from his comfortable position on the couch, in front of the fire. "Nope, only about a hunnert times, Ennis. So ya really do like it, huh?"

'Yeah, I sure do, and think how much more I'll like it once I learn all about the light, and the focus and angles and shadows, and . . and . ." "Jack."

"What?"

"This is the best present anybody ever gi' me. I hope those shots of the sunset last night come out. Don't you? Too bad I didn't have it when we went through that museum, Jack."

"No, they wouldn't have let you bring it in there. They had signs up. I looked because I knew I was gonna give you that camera. But you liked the museum anyway, right?"

"Oh, yeah. Course I did! I loved seein the tools our ancestors had to use to plant a crop, or shoe a horse, or even to cook a meal. They had more stuff at that museum than we could see in a week, bud. We need to go back there sometime. Maybe when we pick Bobby up. You ever take him there, Jack?"

"Naw, never did. Not the Zoo, neither. Didn't ever take the time to show him the wonders of the mountains in Colorado or Wyoming."

"How come you not to?"

"Had my eye on a felller up in the Bighorns, hadda get up there quick."

"You sayin it's my fault Bobby never got to go no place with you, Jack? Cause I already feel like shit about that."

"No, I'm sayin it's all my fault, Ennis. It was one thing when we was at home in Childress and I knew you was home, workin yer tail off. I'd go see Bobby's ball games or help with his homework; I even took him to Austin one time to the state Capitol, and on down to Aquarena Springs to ride those glass-bottomed boats. But when I headed north to Wyoming, only one thing was in my mind. That was gittin ta you."

"I know the feelin', li'l darlin'. I was surely the same 'bout meetin' you."

"Ya know, Jack, I never did take the girls to see and do much, never looked at the world like it was sparkly and interestin'. That's one more thing you done for me, bud. You've opened my eyes about a lot of things. I'd like to see so much more of this world, and I want to see it with you, but show it to our kids too. Don't want them growin up not knowing anything about where they live. Thinkin that it's okay to never travel farther than around a coffee pot lookin' for a handle. They deserve so much more than I ever give'em. That's gonna change."

"Oh, yeah? Where's the first place you gonna travel?"

"Tamorra I wanna go see that Air Force Academy, or Pike's Peak or Garden of the Gods, or all three if we have time. But right this minute I'm goin to travel to our bedroom, and you are goin with me." Ennis stood over Jack with his hands on his hips and looked down at him expectantly.

Jack smiled, or was it a leer? "I thought you'd never ask, Mr. Ennis Del Mar, my lovin husband." He held out his hand for Ennis to help him up off the couch.

Ennis flushed to the tops of his ears and the roots of his blond curls. "So it's yer husband yer wantin', is it?" He pulled Jack up flush against him.

Wrapping his arms tightly around his man he could feel Jack's growing excitement against his thigh. Jesus! That never failed to get Ennis hot!

They barely made it to the bedroom before pulling each other's shirts off and were starting on the belt buckles, and boots. So, before you could say Jackie Robinson, they were skin to skin on their bed and sliding against one another like two teenagers in heat. Ennis told Jack he wanted to kiss and suck every inch of his body, head to toe. Jack was generous. "Be my guest, Cowboy."

Some nights are just magic, and this was one of them. Jack was especially gentle. . .sentimental even, when taking his turn at making love to Ennis. He transported them both to a sweeter place. Both were sated; and happy to be with the man they'd always wanted. Before dropping off to sleep Ennis pulled Jack close and whispered in his ear, "you just made up that shit about glass-bottomed boats, right?" They slept like a pretzel, then as the night progressed, they eased back into their normal sleeping together positions . . .spooned front to back.

Ennis and Jack had not made love as often as they expected to on their honeymoon, because they'd actually gotten out in the world a bit. Too, they had their sweet little home in the old Bell place, back in Lightning Flat, and that daily life together now. So every tiny bit of energy wasn't spent on getting as much of their man, as they could possibly consume or endure, like it used to be when they had to part after their week in the mountains. They were both grateful that life was so much better now.

In the morning, as they ate their sausage, eggs and toast, Ennis looked at Jack. He took a sip of his coffee, and said "You gonna take me to see them glass-bottomed boats, Jack?"

"Doubt we'll be anywhere near San Marcos, Texas anytime soon, Cowboy."

Tbc


	36. Chapter 36

A Better Idea

Chapter Thirty-Six

Disclaimer: These main characters were created by Annie Proulx. I'm just borrowing them for a bit. This story and any errors are all mine.

Author's Note: Faithful Readers, thank you for staying with my vision on this; wanting Jack to live, wanting them to have a life together. That's my answer to Ennis' question, "You got a better idea?"

Late December 1983

Could it be Christmas break already? Bobby was counting the hours before Jenny was to arrive. He just got back from cutting greens with dad 'n Ennis. Gran said she wanted a lot, so they cut a whole pick up load. While out there, they'd sure enough spied the fullest, most perfectly formed fir tree; they tied a red rag on it to mark it so they could go back and find it again. It was perfect for Gran's living room, and they'd cut it tomorrow.

His exams were behind him and he was pretty sure he did okay. He'd taken every math and science class he could get his hands on at his new high school, but there wasn't much to choose from, and there were no college prep classes at all. His academic counselor stressed the importance of him doing well in these classes, but truthfully Bobby couldn't see how solving math equations could ever help him care for a sick horse or cow.

Ever since school started up in September, Jack had kept wondering why Bobby brought home so much more homework up here in Wyoming, than he ever did in Texas. Didn't remember him ever carrying a book home back then. Course, Bobby had not shared his ambitions with his dad 'n Ennis yet, was too afraid of failing to meet his own expectations. If he fell far below reaching his goals, he couldn't face them, didn't want to feel their pity. In the end, he'd not told anyone except Jenny.

Gramma Newsome sent him a brochure about the University of Colorado at Denver in her last letter. She wrote that she is hoping against hope that he chooses to go to CU, and will be close to her in the city. Bobby would like nothing more, but he is holding off making a choice of college until he sees what Jenny decides to do.

Claire is baking Christmas Tree cookies and packing them away for safe keeping. She'd already smacked Bobby's hands twice this morning. Yes, it's true that boy is as bad as his daddy when it comes to cookies, or any sweets for that matter. Bad as both his daddy's, in fact. If she could manage to keep them away from all her "boys", she wanted Jenny to help her ice and decorate them. Maybe they could do that tomorrow. She smiled to herself thinking of having her girls here again. Rolling out the next batch, Claire began humming Little Drummer Boy along with the a.m. radio. She didn't realize she was bouncing to every "pa rum pa pum pum" until she accidentally caught sight of herself in the mirror. She sure was embarrassed and thankful no one saw her acting so . . . so much like a young girl!

In Junior's card she said she wouldn't get off work till the afternoon of the 21st. They are having their Christmas exchange and dinner with Grandma and Grandpa Beers, and Mama and Monroe on that Wednesday night. She and Kurt will stop in Gillette and have Christmas with his family on Thursday, then they will come on up to Lightning Flat on Friday.

If Claire felt a tinge of selfishness over having the girls for most of their Christmas break, she brushed it away, feeling that she had missed having them all their lives, and was due some make up time.

She idly wondered where her husband had gotten off to, but when she saw that it was time to take the next sheet of cookies out of the oven, she promptly forgot about it.

John was sneaking around again. All this week he'd been furtively checking the mail before she could get to it, hiding odds and ends in the barn to escape Claire's eagle eye. He was hammering as quietly as he possibly could do, and was being extra careful. Bobby had run into Gillette for him and bought the non-glare glass and had it cut to the sizes they needed.

This surprise had been in the works for months. While in Riverton, after the wedding trip, Ennis and Jack had gathered Junior, Jenny and Bobby, so the five of them could have their picture made at the Olin Mill's Studio. It was quite the undertaking. It was late August, but they wanted it to look like Christmas. Each of the girls wore a red or green sweater, Bobby had a new black shirt his mother had insisted he buy for school for this winter. Ennis bought a dark green shirt and new bolo tie, and Jack wore his red shirt.

The photo session included lone shots of the girls for their mother, and Bobby alone for his mother. Even Ennis and Jack each had their photo made alone. But the main focus was the five of them together for Gran. After the photographer had finished with the group shots, Jack suggested the kids go get a coke, and they'd be along directly. Jack looked at Ennis with a question in his eyes. "No, Jack, dammit! We been over this and over it. It ain't fittin."

"For me, please Ennis? Just for me to have? You know this is something I've always wanted, Cowboy. Always. And we're right here and . . ."

"Oh, alright. But just one. Ya hear?"

Jack approached the photographer to ask if he would take a few more shots of just the two of them. "Sure thing. I figured that's what you two was wrangling about. Got the films from your session still set up and everything."

"Could we lose the Xmas background and just go with something outdoorsy? Like trees, rocks or maybe a mountain? And George? Could you snap a few in a hurry, so he's not aware of what you're doing? He's shy, you know how it is."

When the backdrop had been changed, George seated Ennis and Jack side by side and asked them to look up and to the right, like they'd spotted an eagle's nest. There wasn't anything scary about that, so Ennis relaxed bit by bit.

George had them stand, shoulders touching, take their hats off and look down into the fake fire in the foreground. Then he had them put their hats back on and wait while he set up the plates for the next shot. This was the good one. They were turned toward each other, straddling the bench, waiting, and Jack asked Ennis how he felt about this so far. He said it was going better than he'd expected. Jack was glad, and the camera caught his smiling response as they looked at each other.

When the proofs arrived six weeks later, they had a difficult time picking a favorite one to have made, so Jack (unbeknownst to Ennis) ordered one of each in a wallet size. But the one of them waiting, not posing, was the one they had made into an 8 by 10 as a memory of how they looked on their wedding trip.

All of these pictures had been kept from Gran until the unveiling of her special Christmas gift, and then she could see them all. John had made a frame out of black walnut, a hardwood, for each person in the family. The best was for Claire. He spent hours polishing them to bring up the natural oils; they were all gleaming and ready. He wrapped them in brown paper (inside-out feed sacks) and wrote the names on with his stub of a pencil he always kept in the barn. He was ever so proud and excited over his contribution to the surprise. John could not remember ever giving a gift to anyone that meant as much as this one did.

On the 24th before lunchtime, Gran took the girls to the Community Center to help make sandwiches, and to serve the home made root beer for the Christmas party. Everyone gathered here each year to bring all the goodies they'd been making for the "needy" of Crook County.

Needy or not, everyone brought what they had to share, so no one went away feeling like a charity case. The tree was being decorated by the children, with construction paper garlands and strings of popcorn. Jack and his dad had strung the lights of every color early last evening, and tested them, each by each. It only took twelve new bulbs to get the strings to light.

Santa showed up as usual with his bag of toys for the good little girls and boys. The adults were grouped around whispering to one another. "Who is it? I don't recognize Santa's deep brown eyes this year, do you?" As for himself, Santa had never had such a spectacular time. He hugged or held on his lap, every single child in turn. And giving them their wrapped gift, he told them he "knew" they'd been very good this year. He made sure they knew that he was proud of them, that they were special to him and to Mrs. Santa.

Jack had wrapped his Xmas gifts for everyone himself. Well, that goes without saying that everyone does that. But Jack had always left all that Christmas stuff to Lureen, and barely noted the passing of the season in years past. This felt to Jack like his first Christmas.

Ennis too; he got into picking out a few small things for his girls: a diary, a hair clip, or a long awaited book. He even did his own wrapping, hiding the gifts so as not to ruin his surprise.

There were cartons shipped from Lureen, wrapped gifts for every member of the family, plus a tin of cashews to add to the festivities. Jack had talked to Lureen ahead of time, asking that she not go all out for Bobby this year, like they had in the past. Didn't want him to stand out like a sore thumb among his school friends.

Everyone got a little something for Christmas that just made them know they were cherished, and that was without much money being spent. There was one slightly expensive gift nestled under the Twist tree. Bobby found a charm bracelet for Jenny when he was in Denver. He'd picked out three charms: a musical note, and a horse to signify both of their dreams for the future, and he added an '83 charm as a remembrance of the year they met.

Christmas dinner was traditionally served in the Twist household on Christmas Eve night. This year was no different. After the blessing was said over the meal, most everyone took the edge off their hunger with their first few bites. "Why is it" someone asked, "we feel we are starving to death from all the good smells wafting around the house, and then we fill up so quickly, we can't even finish the first big plateful?" No one knew, but there was general agreement that it wasn't fair. They opted to have dessert later, in about an hour, and talked about taking a walk to shake it all down. First though, they finished off their holiday meal with a cup of coffee.

"What's your mama and gramma doing today Bobby? Were they hoping you'd share Christmas dinner with them this year? asked Jack.

"Well, guess they would have liked that if it worked out that way, dad. But they have plenty a company for the holiday without worrying about me."

"They do? They haven't had time to get to know anyone in Colorado yet, have they? Is it someone from Texas?"

"Uh, no. It's mama's bo . . . " Bobby looked up at his dad and swallowed a hot mouthful of spiced apple cider. Then he just flushed.

"Your mama has a gentleman friend, Bob?"

"Yessir."

"Well ain't that nice?"

"Ain't that nice, Ennis?"

Ennis wisely kept mum till he saw where this was going.

"Who is it Bobby?"

"Where'd she meet someone so soon after moving up to Denver?"

Jack spieled all that out without taking a single pause or breath.

"Well sir, I believe he lives in her building. He's an airline pilot for United; Denver is his hub. They met at the mailboxes when I was visiting this summer."

"What do you know about him, Bob? You like him?"

"Yeah, dad, Drew seems to be a good guy. He's gone a lot, a course. But from what I've seen, he treats mama right, and she says she enjoys his company."

"His name is Drew?"

"Yeah, Drew Jackson or Johnson, or something like that."

"Well, that's all right then. But does that leave gramma alone too much with your mama dating now?"

"Oh, gosh no, gramma's been dating longer than mom has."

"What?"

"Oh yeah, dad, you remember I told you that gramma took me ice skating at the new Mall there in downtown Denver?"

"Uh huh."

"Well, that's where she met Bruce. He was there with his granddaughter, brought her to skate too, cause she was visiting him from Massachusetts. So we, Lisa and I, skated all afternoon, and she even taught me to skate backwards. When we was all concentrating on skating, they went and got a Cinnabon and a Starbucks. I told you all this on the drive back to Lightning Flat, don't you remember dad?"

"Well, yeah Bob. I remember that you went skating, but you didn't say anything about Gramma Irene finding a boyfriend."

"Gross dad, he's not a boyfriend, he's real old!"

"You know what I mean, Bob. A "Friend"; Gramma Irene found a new friend. What's he like? Bruce, you say?"

"Yes, Bruce . . .uh, I remember he has two first names. Bruce Gregory, or Bruce Gregg. Yeah, that's it. Bruce Gregg. He's a retired contractor, seems like I remember."

"You keeping in touch with this Lisa, Bob? Is she sweet on you?"

"Oh, we write some. But no, Lisa's crazy about some guy named Jake! Jake said this, and Jake did that. She even sends me pictures a him sometimes."

"And do you send her pictures too?"

"No, dad. I ain't got any pictures of Jenny. But as soon as I get some, I aim to keep'em all for myself!"

Jenny flushed at that, because she knew that Bobby knew he was getting a picture of her in the morning, as soon as Gran unwrapped her present from them all. She was also hoping that this topic was dying down. She had known about Gramma Irene's friend Bruce all along. Gramma Irene has been writing to Jenny ever since they met back in July. They hit it off immediately when Jenny told of her aspirations to act and sing on stage. Lately Irene'd been urging her to transfer to the University of Colorado next fall. She likely will decide to do it, but she hasn't shared that news with her dad yet, and so many things have to be dealt with before she makes her final decision.

Jenny cannot get a grip on how or why she has a friend who is old enough to be her grandmother. When they get to talking, no age barrier is apparent, they are two peas in a pod, two girls who love the limelight, love to hear the applause after they've sung their heart out for an audience. Irene still misses her Sweet Adeline's group from Childress, and intends to find a new chapter in Denver as soon as the bloom is off the rose with Bruce.

She hopes and imagines that eventually, he won't insist on spending so much time with her. He'll find a hobby or other friends. She is beginning to feel a bit smothered by him. On the one hand, he is wonderful to her; he's widowed, and so very lonely. But on the other hand, she needs her own space at times. In her latest letter, Irene asked Jenny what she should do about it.

Jenny has not answered that letter yet, but she has had these very same discussions with girlfriends in high school and now college. And she knows that boys have the same issues sometimes with girls who want to control all of their time, all of their waking moments. Some even go so far as to be jealous of their friends and family. It's over the top, and cannot be tolerated. She will advise Irene to put Bruce on rations. One or two days a week will be the maximum he'll be allowed to see her. This should force him to take her seriously about the situation, and if he's wise, he'll develop some other interests, and friends. He could even take up some volunteer work.

With his skills, he'd make a wonderful mentor to some young boy or girl.

Jenny realized she was off in her own little world when Junior poked her arm and said "Earth to Jen!"

"What?"

"I was saying that Kurt and I have an announcement. Where were you at?"

"Oh, I was just thinking. Go on. What's your announcement?"

Junior and Kurt stood up and clinked their forks on their water glasses to get everyone's attention. Jenny started squirming, swinging her legs and bouncing on her chair in anticipation . . . why else would they both stand up together? Jenny's imagination was way ahead of them!

"Save the date, folks. Next June 5th there will be a wedding at the Methodist Church in Riverton, Wyoming. Kurt has asked me to marry him, and daddy has given us his blessing today. . . so "

Kurt said not a word, and Junior got no further. Everyone began congratulating them and pounding poor shy Kurt on his bony young shoulders.

Until Jack stood up and protested by holding out his hands.

"Hold everything, young lady!"

Everyone gaped at Jack, but he kept a stern expression on his face.

"Aren't you forgetting something? Did you only get the Blessing of One Daddy? Or Both?"

Junior turned to Kurt, and slid her eyes over at Jack . . . so Kurt and Junior walked over to where Jack was standing. Ennis stood up next to him.

Holding Junior's hand in his, Kurt spoke his piece to Jack. "Please sir, may I have the honor of your daughter's hand in marriage?"

Jack hugged Junior to him tightly and whispered in her ear, "You want this guy?" and when she nodded that she did, he released her muttering "Well okay then." Jack looked at Kurt, turned and took Ennis' hand in his own, "We give our blessing for you to marry our daughter. You mind that you take good care a her, or you'll answer to both a us."

Then the congratulations proceeded in earnest. During one relatively quiet moment, Junior asked everyone to take a seat again. She turned to Jenny to ask, "Jen will you do us the honor of singing at our wedding, please? It would mean so much to both of us." There was immediate agreement to Junior's request. "Wild horses couldn't stop me!" she said.

Gran rose and began to pick up her plate, but Ennis and Jack had earlier discussed this point of etiquette. Jack took the plate from his mother's hand, and gently took her elbow. "Mama, why don't you go sit in the living room, while Ennis and I do up these dishes. You have baked and cooked for days if not weeks, and now it's our turn."

And so it was to be. The men did the dishes, and not every plate, bowl and utensil was put away in the wrong place, but many were. Oh well, it is the thought that counts, as any mother can tell you. The young people were entertaining the adults by singing Christmas carols, and leading a sing along while the tree lights smeared the colors of the rainbow across the walls of the rooms.

Jenny had Bobby turn out all the lights except for the tree lights to set the mood for the singing of "Silent Night". Not three lines into the hymn there was some extra curricular kissing and embracing going on out in the kitchen, and soap sudsy forearms went around that man as he held him tightly.

"Merry Christmas, li'l darlin'."

"Best Christmas ever, Cowboy."

"Mama, Ennis and I are gonna call it a day 'n go on home.

We'll see you in the morning for church."

Tbc

_A/N: Seems Ennis and Jack still have a few things they want to share with us before going on privately with the rest of their lives. I'm in it for the long haul, as long as they'll let me eavesdrop. Judy_


	37. Chapter 37

A Better Idea - A Prequel, A Foreshadowing

Genre: BBM One-Shot

Disclaimer: I created the OC's but not the O/S characters. They belong solely to Annie Proulx, with some tweaking by Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana. This story is all mine, and is unbeta'd so you have no one to blame but me if it's not to your liking.

Rating: A Better Idea is all over the map.

If you don't like m/m slash, don't read this.

A/N: This is my original work, but I've borrowed the name of Uncle James from Racchelle's Divergent Dreams; and I'm not going there, but heavily leaning in the directon of jtsbar's Dead Horse Road (nee fenlyn)

Feedback: You bet. I hope you like it.

LIGHTNING FLAT, WY

John had no argument that would hold water when Dad Bell said Walter, Harold and him oughta take the family's prize-winning black baldies to the State Fair. Douglas was gearing up for a spectacular gala, the state having been denied a Fair for seven out of the last 20 years. The truth was, this year's event was to be the largest yet, and Will Bell didn't intend to miss another one.

"The Fair lost seven years, as there was no event held in 1935 - 36 due to the depression and even though preparations were made for the event in 1937, it was cancelled due to an epidemic of infantile paralysis. World War II arrived and with its rationing of gasoline and tires, no money was appropriated by the State Legislature for the years 1942, 1943, 1944 and 1945." From History of Wyoming State Fairs

With the United States economy in full recovery and riding high on post-war record breaking production of goods and services, the mood of the country

seemed to be unbridled optimism as reflected in this song.

**So long sad times  
Go long bad times  
We are rid of you at last**

Howdy gay times  
Cloudy gray times  
You are now a thing of the past

Happy days are here again  
The skies above are clear again  
So let's sing a song of cheer again  
Happy days are here again

Altogether shout it now  
There's no one  
Who can doubt it now  
So let's tell the world about it now  
Happy days are here again

Your cares and troubles are gone  
There'll be no more from now on  
From now on ...

Happy days are here again  
The skies above are clear again  
So, Let's sing a song of cheer again

Happy times  
Happy nights  
Happy days  
Are here again!

**Music and Lyrics by J. Yellen and M. Ager**

There were new exhibits, buildings and arena's to see, including the new sheep barn built last year. Not to mention, the rodeo itself would be there for five whole days of pageantry. So it was decided, the men of the family would go to Douglas for the 1953 Wyoming State Fair.

When this idea became known, 'Dessie had a thing or three to talk to Will about, and eventually the plan expanded to include all the family. Lilah Jean, being too pregnant to travel, stayed back in Lightning Flat, and of course Harold stayed home with his young wife. He was sorely disappointed to miss the excitement, but knew he owed his future "quality of life" to doing the right thing. Lilah Jean didn't hide her wrath under a bushel basket when she was displeased. There'd be other fairs, but she was his only wife, he reasoned.

Claire was in a dither about whether to enter her "famous in the family" Cherry Cake, or to do up a batch of hot pepper jelly. In the end, she made and entered both. Her sister-in-law convinced her to enter the quilt she had finished the previous winter. It had a brightly colored design that she'd reckoned on the muslin background especially for her nine year old son, Jackie.

It cheered up his small room and was quite something when the sun shone through his window and highlighted the bull and rider she'd created in cloth. Jack treasured that gift, and was proud his mama was going to enter "his" quilt. No one in the world had a quilt like his.

In late July, Grandpa Will called Jack into his parlor and asked him "if you could have anything new to wear to the Fair, what would it be?" Course, he already knew the answer to that, and had ordered the black hat for his beautiful blue-eyed grandson. Blazes, he thought, he's too old for that! I gotta quit thinkin on that boy as beautiful. He's growing up fast, that's for sure. Hope I'm around to see the fine man he turns out to be. And I sure hope Johnny gets over his memories a Texas and hard feelins 'fore he ruins everything. I ain't gonna be here forever to protect Little Go.

Excitement was running high as the family cleaned and polished the trailers, curried and combed every cow and calf, and rubbed the horse' harnesses, gear and tack till you could see your face in them.

SAGE, WY - Elev. 6,332

Ellie Del Mar looked over at her tight-lipped husband, Ray, and then at young Ennis who was not eating his supper, again. Her sweet youngest child had always been quiet, but he had a light like nobody's business in those deep chocolately eyes a his, and a little half-smile that could flip your heart over right there in your chest. In the past year, that light had dimmed considerable. She didn't know why, but knew it had to have something to do with his daddy. She hoped it was something Ennis could get past, for his own sake.

Ray roared at Ennis to quit lollygagging and finish his supper. Ennis ate. As soon as he was excused, he went out back behind their outhouse and with gut wrenching sobs, emptied his stomach of every bite he'd just consumed.

"Why'd ya do that alla time?" his sister Maggie pleaded. She loved this little blond brother to a fair thee well, but couldn't understand why he was so unhappy much of the time. "Aw, leave'em be, Mags. He'll be awright." advised KE for he knew when this behavior had started, and he could put two and two together. And there weren't no fixing it, so he gotta stand it. The three siblings had after supper chores to get to, so Ennis' condition and reasons for it were soon forgotten.

But behind Ennis' eyelids, the old man still lay there in that ravine, the flies buzzing round and the sun beating down on the mutilated body. Each time he thought on it, the gut cramps started up, and he had to take deep breaths to try to calm hisself. What his dad took him and KE to see that day, was horrible enough, but his almost ten year old imagination took over from there.

His father's face featured largely in these waking nightmares, till he couldn't determine between fact and fiction. He could almost see his dad tying a line to the man's dick and attaching it to the horse' harness, while Mr. Gibson and Mr. Melrose tied other parts in like manner, before the horse was slapped on the rump. With a loud "Yee Haw" in it's ear, the animal bolted and kept on running till it's burden broke loose and lay still in the ditch.

Ennis hadn't been there to see that part of it, but from the proud way his dad showed off the corpse, and the hard things he had to say about the man and his "friend" ranching up together . . . well, it made a fearful picture in the boy's mind and he thought to himself, "far as I know, he coulda done the job hisself."

On Sunday, after church and noon dinner, there were chores. Soon as those were done, they were allowed to sit for 30 minutes while mother read to them. Most times, she read from the bible, but once in a while, she'd get a story book from the traveling Lincoln County Library. Ennis couldn't read too good, rarely was allowed to go to school, and he loved hearing his mother's voice as she read to her children. He liked to sit at her feet and lean back on her legs while she spoke the words.

On this day, however, daddy was sitting in the room waiting for the laggards to assemble for reading time. He had somethin to tell'em, he said. Told'em all in no uncertain terms that "money is tight as a old maid's pu.." "RAYMOND! Remember they are children." Said mother. Daddy began again. "Bottom line, we're broke, and 'less we can earn some cash money, we're gonna lose the ranch. So I've hired us all out to the Wyler Ranch, the Flying W, for the summer."

Ellie knew that the cash in the coffee can wadn't gonna hold out for long. Her job would be to tend the Wyler's garden, put up and can as much of the vegetables and fruits as she could, and also to sew up clothing and anything else that was needed by the Wyler family and staff.

It frightened her to think what was her own family gonna eat, come next winter w'thought her tending her own kitchen garden here in Sage. But Raymond has made up his mind, and when he decides on a course of action, that's what's gonna happen. Come hell or high water, and he don't care which.

The only relation nearby that she might could look to for help or to influence her husband, was his bachelor brother, James. He was the one discovered her sitting on the floor of the pantry holding a tea towel fulla ice up to the left side a her face, that last time she'd tried to offer a suggestion about household spending. To this day, she couldn't hear good outa that left ear.

Not that Raymond would listen to James either, as he knew everything there was to know. And his younger brother had never successfully bested him; not ever that he knew of anyway. And it would just make Ray madder, so she did not tell James the bad bits anymore. It hurt him too much to see her mistreated, cause he couldn't make it stop, and she wouldn't leave him. She had three children. Where could she go that Ray wouldn't find her? Besides, he'd take it out on her pet, Ennis. Ray always said she was making him soft. That he needed "toughening up". He had done a bit of that this spring at the drainage ditch.

Among other duties, the Wyler's needed the Del Mar family to help transport their animals and gear to Douglas for the fair. There would be a major exhibit of the Flying W Ranch along the concourse. They had other ranch hands, but needed the extra experienced help for this undertaking.

DOUGLAS, WY

Which is why, a few weeks later, Ennis walked into the sheep barn at the Fairgrounds in Douglas and saw three boys about his own age already there.

He scanned their faces. His daddy and KE had always told him you should never be too trusting with strangers. His eyes landed on one a them boys who seemed to be in charge. He was lying on his back on a hay bale, reading a Gabby Hayes Western Comic Book. Jack looked over and addressed Ennis.

"Hey, whatcha doin there, kid?" asked Jack.

"Nuthin." answered Ennis.

"Ya' are so!" retorted Jack.

"Hain't neither." insisted Ennis.

Jack started squirming and giggling "Ya're talkin to me aintcha?"

Ennis squinted up his eyes, and replied "Yeah, SO?"

"Then ya're doin something!" gloated Jack victoriously.

"Yeah, guess." gloomed Ennis.

"Ya like comic books?" inquired Jack Twist.

"Dunno" mused Ennis, but peeked at the dog-eared book Jack held.

Offering the comic, Jack said "Here, you can read it; I've read it 'bout 400 times already."

Ennis did not reach out for the book, but declined gratefully, "I shore do 'preciate the offer, but I don't read so good, my eyes, they . . ."

"Oh, sorry!" apologized Jack. "Want me to read it to ya then?"

Ennis immediately settled on the floor of the barn and leaned his back against the hay bale Jack had been reclining on. "Would ya?"

"Shore as shootin, I would . . .uh, my name's Jack, and these here are my cousins Kenneth and Roger. What's yours?"

"Ennis." replied Ennis.

"Yore folks just stop . . ."

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE MUTTON BUSTIN EVENT BEGINS IN 10 MINUTES, ALL RIDERS PLEASE REPORT TO THE ARENA. . .

THE FIRST THREE RIDERS IN THE BOYS 9 – 11 CATEGORY WILL BE: GARY PARKER, BILLY WINSTON, AND JOHN C. TWIST JUNIOR!

Jack stood up and dusted off his riding clothes, and placed a new black hat on his head. Ennis thought he'd never seen anything finer in all his life. He stood too, was a tiny bit taller than Jack, he noticed.

Roger and Kenneth stood as well, dusting off their britches and running fingers through their hair. They looked to be a bit younger than Jack.

"I gotta go ride now, can you come back?" And hoping he'd made a friend, Jack tried the name on his tongue, tasting it. "Ennis?"

"Whut?"

"Can you come back? Or where can I find you later?"

At that moment, Ray Del Mar strode into the barn and with all his exasperaton apparent in his voice, said "Ennis Raymond Del Mar! I been lookin' all over Hell's Half Acre for you, boy! Yore mother's worried sick!"

Ennis flinched, and was embarrassed but took a chance on one more second of freedom. He looked over at his new friend, "Guess I'll see ya around then, Jack. I might be back." He nodded his head then walked away. Jack watched him walk away, feeling an emptiness, a tiny pull in his stomach.

The boys skirted the fair grounds with their chores and activities that week, but never again ran into one another. Neither Jack nor Ennis ever came back to the State Fair. The cousins came back the next year. Kenneth and Roger rode in the Mutton Bustin in '54, but didn't win.

As Jack took his turn in the arena, he was obviously the most qualified rider, anyone could see that. After five seconds though, he felt his brand new black hat begin to fall from his head toward the dirt. He reached out to grab it, throwing himself off balance, and into the grime. His dad grabbed him up by the scruff of the neck and told him angrily and with spittle flying just what he was worth, and how much change he'd get back. Unfortunately, Ennis witnessed this scene. He understood how his new friend, Jack, must be feeling, and didn't let on that he saw this. Both boys decided that maybe all daddy's were sonsabitches.

However, Ennis from under the bleachers, and Jack from the fence rail on the eastern side of the arena each saw Petey Walter's dad console him when he failed to make his time, saying "You did your best young man, don't ever feel bad about that." And he helped brush the dirt and dust off him.

Matt Gibson's daddy hugged him for all the world to see when he fell off the sheep and cried cause he bruised his arm. "Come on Matty, let's get you some ice on that arm, son. What a brave boy you are. I'm proud a ya." So, individually and collectively they had to abandon that "all daddies are sonsabitches" theory. And they decided, maybe it was just their own daddy.

With wry sarcasm, they each thought "Lucky me."

The End

1953 Wyoming State Fair

Meadowlane Cowboy # 46 of Gabby Hayes, Western

Roar with laughter, shiver with thrills as Gabby battles a Bungler.


	38. Chapter 38

A Better Idea - 38

Mother's Day - A Moment Between Here and There

Genre: BBM

Pairing: Ennis / Jack is there any other?

Disclaimer: I created the OC's but not the O/S characters. They belong solely to Annie Proulx, with some tweaking by Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana. This story is unbeta'd so you have no one to blame but me for errors or controversy.

Rating: A Better Idea is all over the map, but the basic premise is that two men love each other. If you don't like m/m slash, don't read this.

A/N #1: I adore reading other author's fics, and they inspire me to continue to write. But this story, this ABI Universe is all mine.

A/N #2 - Thank you to onefreetoroam and shakestheground, for urging that this topic be clarified sooner, rather than later. And though she encourages me in all things, thanks again to bbmiswear for wishing to see the déjà vu scene.

Feedback: You bet. I hope you like it.

LIGHTNING FLAT, WY

What should we do? Gotta be special, her last Mother's Day in this place. Gonna be hard on her, leaving the place her momma and daddy raised her and her brothers, leaving the one and only home she's ever had. Ennis was busy working through his ideas while he mucked out Signal's stall. He was done with Scarlet and Grey's stalls and had mulled these same thoughts all the while he worked there, but was nowhere closer to a solution.

Church. First thing she'd do on that day was go to church like she done 'most every Sunday. Then what? Dinner. But she always put that in the oven before she left for church . . that's not saving her any work, or making her day special. Jes' for once I wisht I could think like a woman, so I'd know what she'd like.

Deciding that there was a woman he could ask, Ennis saddled up Grey and rode over to talk to Iris. He knew he risked a lot by going over there, but it was for Mom. Jack's Aunt Iris, and now Ennis' too was a formidable woman of less than 5 feet who could hug the life out of an unsuspecting man. Had done it to him on more than one occasion. But he braced his spine and knocked on their screen door, the front door being open to catch the spring breezes.

Ennis saw Walter poke his head out of the kitchen to see what stranger knocked on their door; family would just walked on in. "Come on in, boy, whatchoo doin knockin on our door? Tryna insult us? You know you're family here. Come on, sit down. Want some lunch? Cold drink?" he called. As Ennis came through the door he could hear Walter talking a mile a minute, as usual. And it was all Ennis could do not to laugh. As he walked through to the kitchen, he scanned this very comfortable room. Maybe mom would like a new couch. Naw,bad idea. We'd just have to move it.

And so, he accepted food and drink, and then he told them why he had come. The list of ideas tripled, but finally Iris cut to the chase. "Take her away, kidnap her if you have to, but get her out of her own routine. Surprise her!"

"How come you're wrangling with this on your own? Where's Jack?"

"Oh, he took his daddy to Gillette for his annual check-up and Mom decided to go along, to do some shopping over there."

"Dang, nearly forgot. He had that stroke on May the 9th so it's been four years and time for another Annual. Damn, time flies!" Walter practically whispered this, 'fraid to say it out loud, cause a how lucky they felt they was - to still have Johnny among the livin.

And then he had it.

He'd call Jenny and Junior as soon as he cleared it with Jack. It made him so happy, he was practically dancing a jig when he waved goodbye to Walter and Iris. He wouldn't tell them what he had in mind, but they could tell he was excited about it.

The folks were back when he rode up to the back door. Some tall, dark and handsome man walked out the door, grinning kinda suggestively at him. He come over and pulled him off his horse and kissed the daylights outa him, while running his hands down the front of Ennis' jeans, like a hungry man. "Good gravy Jack, what'd I do to deserve all that?"

"Well, nothing, I don't guess. But that cute mailman is late, and I couldn't wait." And his smile sparkled across his entire face.

You'd a thought he was gone a week, instead of five hours.

"Want some lunch, Cowboy? Mama's setting out sandwich fixings, and some chips and lemonade. It's a do-it-yourself meal."

"Done et."

"Oh, you have, have you? Where'd you eat?"

"At Iris' house. You know you can't escape unless you let them feed and water you to their heart's content."

"True. What was ya doin over there?"

"It's a secret."

"You keepin' secrets from me, boy? DAMN, I missed you today."

"Missed you too, good lookin! c'mere Nope, ain't keeping secrets from you, keepin'em from Mom."

"So you'll tell me later?"

"You bet."

All this last bit was said while nuzzling and nibbling each other, in such gladness, cause they were happiest when in each other's presence.

"WILL YOU TWO cut it out, folk's is gotta eat" and John smiled at them, while holding the screen door open.

Ennis picked at the chips, and had some pickles, and a big, icy glass a lemonade, but he was just being sociable. Iris had stuffed him plumb full already. He listened to their talk about how everything went in Gillette. "I went ahead and made an appointment for next time, thinking we might still be here, but I know we won't. I'll mark the calendar, so we'll be sure 'n cancel on time."

Everyone was ready for a rest, if not an out and out nap. These ordeals wore them out, probably more from the anxiety than any other reason.

Outside, Ennis gave Jack that look. His one eyebrow lifted, suggestively. "Can I give you a lift, fella? You live near here?"

"Yes sir, just down the road, if you don't mind, sir." An innocent Jack pleaded. "But where shall I ride?"

"Take my hand, stranger. Pull you on up behind me. Hang on to me tight, now. Don't fall off."

Jack did as instructed, wrapping his arms around the horseman's waist; he reached down with his fingers to find the warmer regions of Ennis' body . . now growing tight in the denim.

They barely made it home, Jack jumped down off Grey and came around, reaching for Ennis' fly before he could even dismount. "Stay up there." Jack choked out.

He found the mounting block and stood on it bringing his face to groin level - perfect. He first just covered the bulge in Ennis' pants with his open mouth, and blew warm breath onto him. The groan from Ennis' throat was reward enough. Then unzipping him and freeing his eagerness, he took Ennis' hot erection in his mouth, he sucked like there was no tomorrow. Licking and swirling, Jack drove Ennis crazy just the way he'd dreamed of all the way home from Gillette. The groans and squeaks coming from Ennis' mouth did not upset Grey. He was used to this.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Jack, what you do to me, boy!" and then "Uh" and soon "oh fuck, I'm comin already!" Coming on horseback might not be normal for many folks, but these two had to perfect it because they'd spent so many hours together riding side by side, it was a necessity for sure.

The afternoon was spent pleasantly in their own little home, in bed and out of it . . . but together. Ennis told Jack of his idea, and Jack thought it just might be the greatest idea in the history of . . . his mama being Ennis' Mom too.

So Ennis called Jenny and Junior, and they agreed to meet up with him and Jack, Gran and Poppa in Riverton on Saturday,

for a party. Ennis called Herman Stodemeir too, and invited him and told him to bring a date if he wanted. Herman kinda shuffled around hesitantly, sounding a bit embarrassed. "Well, I have asked Virginia, Mrs. Fowler if she'd go out with me sometime.

It could be to your party, Ennis. Call me when you get into town."

Jenny offered to make the hotel reservations for four. Yes, of course, Bobby would be there too! Ennis thought of clever ways he might inform Mom that she was to keep her schedule open, completely open that weekend, and not plan to cook or clean for her men. They brought dad into their confidence, and he was prepared to help run interference for them if need be. BUT and this was a big BUT. She'd have to pack her own overnight case, none of these men was willing to go into a woman's lingerie drawer, or even pick out a nightgown. Good grief!

The next day dawned drizzly, and chill. There were lots more boxes to fill before they could feel ready to move. So Ennis and Jack were upstairs going through stuff. They already had a "to donate" pile, and a "to throw away" pile, but most everything was in a "to keep and pack" pile.

Ennis ran downstairs to get a couple more boxes, and take a leak while he was near the bathroom. When he got back upstairs, Jack was pulling things out of his own little closet. "Just hand me the stuff you want to keep, and I'll pack it Jack. Where'd the tape get to? I need the black marker too. Are you sitting on it?

What's in this box, Jack? Want me to mark it and tape it up?"

"No, baby. I haven't gone through it yet." Jack came to finalize this box, and get some sort of logical process going. At this point, it was just stuff and boxes, willy nilly, all over his floor.

Within 30 seconds, he was sitting on the floor, entranced, pawing through ribbons, leaflets, his Mutton Bustin number "1963" with a safety pin on each corner, a couple of old comic books and what looked like straw. He was so excited about this box of stuff from his childhood, he dumped it out on the floor to see it all.

Jack was stung by nostalgia and sadness, missing his grandparents. Here was a group picture of his grandma and grandpa Bell, his aunts, uncles, cousins, mama, daddy and him at the State Fair. He knew it was '53 cause that's the only year he ever went. In the picture, he was holding his favorite thing, his new black hat grandpa had given him; the one he lost a year later, he never knew where it went. He'd loved black hats ever since, and had always tried to keep one for his "good" hat.

Jack remembered that his grandpa Will had asked a man named Wyler, of the Flying W, to take this picture of the whole family before they all got into the activities and dirt of the fair. He wanted to run show his mama this picture right now!

But when he looked up, Ennis was standing stock still, and staring. . . but not at him.

Ennis had noticed the silence. Jack usually ran a narrative about whatever was on his mind, and this quiet was disconcerting. So he turned to see what Jack was into, and his eyes fell upon a Gabby Hayes Western Comic Book on the floor.

His eyes went from that dog-eared book, to Jack's face, and back to the book. "You're Jack." he said in a tremulous voice.

"What?" Jack asked.

"I'm Ennis. From the fair, Jack. I'm Ennis. I looked for you all that week when my daddy'd let me outa his sights." His eyes were large and hollow like he'd lost his best friend, which is exactly what he was feeling and remembering.

Tbc


	39. Chapter 39

Ennis Del Mar peered into the glass case in the pawn shop on the seedy end of Main Street in Sage, Wyoming. He was thirteen years old and staring adulthood in the face. He hadn't gotten but twenty dollars for his dad's chipped and battered old pocket watch; K.E. and Maggie had already run up a fifteen dollar credit account at Emerson's Grocery, trying a keep them all fed. As if it knew why he was selling the watch, the boy's stomach gurgled and clenched in hunger. He hurried out of the store toward a hot meal of fried mush and bacon. He hoped there was some raw maple syrup left in the bottom of the can. That would make it somewhat of a celebration.

These days, no one in Lincoln County had two extra dimes to rub together; but the ladies auxiliary of the Sage Redeemer Methodist Church tried their best, they surely did. Problem was, K.E., Maggie and Ennis insisted they had to stay together cause momma and daddy woulda wanted it that way. There was not one soul around, nor family either, able to take in three more mouths to feed.

They knew it was coming, had smelled starvation from the moment the sheriff pulled his cruiser up in the weedy yard without no siren or flashing lights. They were orphans now, alone in the world, on their own, and needed to get paying jobs somewheres. As hard as they worked, they couldn't keep up the ranch and pay off the mortgage too; it was useless to try to get even one more year of high school. As it was, they were on foot; that old traitor of a truck having given out between home and the undertaker's.

The watch was to have given each of them a grub stake; some cash to have on hand till they found work, but it wasn't enough. The boys were strong and though lean, were good workers. They found little bits of work here and there, but nothing permanent. Maggie was taken in on a trial basis to cook and clean for a widower with three children. He worked in the oil fields and had left his children unattended on days when his sister couldn't take them. She was hungry, and he was lonely. They eventually married.

Thirty years later, Ennis Del Mar stared through the glass case in the pawn shop on the seedy end of Main Street in Sage, Wyoming. Knowing it was useless to hope that the only thing his daddy had treasured, might still be waiting there, he looked anyway. When he slumped in disappointment, Jack rubbed his shoulders hard, and said "Sorry, Cowboy, it was a longshot, but I wish it coulda worked out for you just this once."

Mr. Hartson removed the cigarette from his mouth with fingers permanently stained with nicotine. "Can I help you gentlemen find something in particular today?" he asked. He replaced the cigarette to the side of his mouth and squinted up as Ennis described the gold plated watch, no chain, and the scratched crystal. "Nope, don't recall nothing like that. Probly had a hunnerd or more just like that over the years. Was there any thing special about it?"

"Well, it was my daddy's" said Ennis.

"Any marks or design that would make it stand out from all the others?" he asked.

"Uh, I think it said something on the inside of the case, from my grandpa to my dad, Ray Del Mar, but I'm not sure what it was."

"Yep, yep, that name might ring a bell or two, lemme see." said the shop keeper, beginning to thumb through his old register. "I was right! Says right here, was claimed by another man a couple years ago this spring."

"Who was it?" inquired Ennis.

"Hm, not a name, just some initials . . . K. E. Del Mar claimed it. Yep. Is that a relative a yours?

"Yeah, that's ma brother."

"Well, seems like a brother with any salt woulda let ya know he done redeemed yer daddy's watch."

"Yeah, well that's a long story, but he's the elder brother, so it's rightfully his. Just didn't want to see it languishing in this case forever, if I had anything to say about it."

Jack saw the slump return to Ennis' shoulders, and gave him a pat on the back, maybe lingering an extra second or two to let him feel his man's long fingers on him in this no longer familiar town. "Come on Friend, I'll buy you a beer. It'll cut some a the everlastin dust outa yer throat and maybe help ya swaller some a that lump a disappointment yer bound ta be feelin."

"Yeah, alright."

As they stepped out of the dimness of the pawn shop into the blinding autumn sunshine, the little bell above the door tinkled their departure. Ennis jerked his head back towards the store, spun around on his heel and went back inside. He approached the proprietor one more time. "Is there anything else on that card, anything else about that watch, Mister?"

Sure 'nuff. Tells when you brung it in, how much you was give for it, all kinds a things. What'd you want to know?

"Does it say what was on the inside? Does it say the words?"

"Here son, see for yourself."

Ennis squinted in the low light, but he had no trouble making out the words the original shop owner had written in the space set aside for "Special Marks, if any". It said

"Engraved inside the back:

To my beloved son, Raymond.

Never Enough Time; Never Enough

Ennis Del Mar"


	40. Chapter 40

1962

KE met Barbie that autumn. She worked the fuel desk at the TSA truck stop near Shoshoni where highways 20 and 26 joined up and headed southeast toward Casper. He liked to gas up the truck and have a hot meal there. The serving sizes were plentiful and tasted better than average diner fare. They had showers available there, as well as anything a man needed to get by for a few days away from home. Fella played his cards right, he wouldn't have to get a room right away, could save his cash for gas and food. The money from the Worland job wouldn't last long, and the brothers needed to find something steady soon.

The DOT requires drivers to accurately record in a Driver's Daily Log each of the 24 hours of each day, whether Driving, On Duty but not driving, Off Duty, or Sleeping. Business owners, knowing that time is money, are always pushing the over-the-road drivers to drive more and sleep less, even if they have to pop some bennies to stay awake those extra hours. Drivers can get real creative with their DDL's, but eventually even they have to sleep.

By schmoozing with Barbie, KE learned who had the authority to hire them. Often, KE and Ennis would be hired to wash some a the big rigs that were parked there in the back lot, rumbling and snorting like a herd a water buffalo. They never seemed to turn those beasts off, whether to keep the cab cool while the drivers slept, or to keep the payload cool, Ennis was never sure which.. He couldn't even tell if they were loaded with cargo, or dead-heading, But the job paid daily, and they needed that money.

Ennis hated the huge expanse of concrete parking lot, the fumes, the noise, and the body odor of many of the drivers. The coffee was black, strong and affordable, but to have a moment to himself to enjoy drinking it, was nigh on to impossible. Seems those drivers got lonely, would store up all the words they couldn't say, alone on the road, driving through the night. Then when they hit the lunch counter, they tried to unload them into the first ears they encountered. Ennis felt trapped by too many people, and he knew one thing for sure. He didn't like people who talked all the time, sometimes bitching about every little thing. He had no patience for that crap.

The truth was, not a dozen words passed between Ennis and KE on a normal day. It was limited to, "ready ta go eat?" or "think it'll rain?" the normal commerce of life, and it

suited them both. Their mama had talked a bit, sung to them as babies, and read to them each Sunday afternoon. Other than that, days passed with not much said about anything.

By Christmas KE and Barbie were talking about getting married, and he was staying at her place more than half the time, which left Ennis on his own. Didn't want to pay the price of a room for just one person, so Ennis took to sleeping, rolled up in an old blanket in KE's truck cab, while it was parked in front of Barbie's house. He'd shower when they got back to the truck stop.

KE was in love and therefore totally unaware of how much Ennis had come to hate their day to day existence in this strange world that never slept, all lit up 24/ 7. This younger brother missed horses, cows, trees, the wide vista of the night sky, even the biting flies that seemed to be a constant pest at every ranch job he'd ever had. Ennis was trying to plan their next move, to a job far more suited to his temperament and his skills, when KE dropped the bomb.

"Barbie says my truck smells like dirty feet, Ennis! You can't sleep there no more. It ain't fittin. And anyway, winter is here, don't want you freezing to death in that truck.. Should get a place of your own, boy. Need to get your own life now. Um, well, Barbie says it's time we got married, 'n I guess she's probly right."

Ennis had never thought that anyone would come between them. Ever since Maggie had gone to work for that widower fella in Casper and then married him, they had been the only family each other had. They'd lived and worked together, ate together, slept together in the same room or barn. Their parents were dead, their sister gone, and Ennis had not thought past the two of them always being there for each other. It rocked the only world he'd ever known when KE cut him loose, just like that.

While a part of Ennis del Mar was mourning the loss of his brother's company and guidance, another part of him saw his future through eyes that now saw some hope for doing things his own way. He'd make his own plans from here on out. While sipping his coffee that morning, Ennis pulled a map out of the rack and tried to think of the best place for him to go, to look for a new job and a new life.

"You gonna pay for that, or just mangle it up then put it back in the rack?" asked the assistant manager with a curl to his lip. He had no use for the hangers on. His focus was to stock items and sell to truckers at a large mark-up. This other segment of the population that he had inherited when he came here, were beneath his notice. They were drifters, bums, prostitutes, runaways, and who knew what else, perhaps even fugitives. This was the demographic that did not spend money in his general store, and did not tip very well at the lunch counter either. Once they bought their cigarettes, they were through spending.

Ennis felt the sting of the man's disapproval, but he was used to that. He was used to being invisible, or being watched as a common thief when he went through a store.

Ennis just said "mmmn" and refolded the map and put it in it's proper slot. He'd barely had time to study his options, but realized the closest place he could hitchhike to was a town called Riverton. He'd start there. See if there were any jobs.

Ennis finished up the week, washing semi-tractor trailers with KE, and then he shook his hand, wished him well and pocketed his last pay for who knew how long? KE told him to write him at Barbie's address, when he knew where he was staying. Wanted to invite him to the wedding when they got it set up. He had written to Maggie to tell her of the upcoming nuptials also.

There was a PPG truck rolling out of the lot about the time Ennis was ready to hit the road. The fellow was one he'd talked to (really just listened to) at the lunch counter a time or two, so he picked him up and took him all the way into Riverton.

His first stop was at the hardware and feed store on 789, at the outskirts a town. He asked if they knew of anyone hiring for ranch hands, or if there was a board where he could check for postings of jobs of any kind. He found no positive news there, and walked on into Riverton proper hoping for the best. KE had given him a carton of smokes as a good-bye present, and he had money for meals for a few days, but he really needed to hook up with some steady work, and he needed a place to stay, as well.

His paper sack held a change of underwear and one more shirt. His levi's and boots would have to last him. Other than that, all he owned was the tan Carhartt coat, and his tan hat. The little squiggle of fear that had played around his gut since his parents died, was beginning to take hold of him in spite of his steely resolve that he could take care of himself just fine.

His first good news; he hadn't been in town two hours, when he got hired on at Smith's Grocery on Main Street, unloading trucks on their dock, and night stocking the shelves. And any dented cans or bruised produce, he could have for himself. Trouble was, there were only two trucks per week, so he needed to find another job as well. He was thirsty and hungry so he headed on over to the Dairy Queen to have a look around.

"Help you?" said a tiny little voice behind the counter.

"Just lookin at yer menu, ma'm, what's cheap and good?" asked Ennis.

The clerk recognized hunger when she saw it, and suggested that the Country Fried Steak with all the trimmings was very filling, and quite a reasonable price. He opted for that. She filled a plate to overflowing and added a slice of apple pie with it. She brought the plate to the table he'd selected, and reminded him that the iced tea had unlimited free refills.

"Will there be anything else for you today?" she asked.

"No. . ."Less you know of anybody hirin around here. I sure could use a job, Ma'm."

'My name's not ma'm, I ain't no older'n you, y'know."

Remembering his manners, Ennis stood up and said, "Oh sorry, I was jus' bein polite.

My name's Ennis. Ennis del Mar." and he pulled off his hat in a hurry, and did his best to smile at this tiny blond girl.

She flushed to the roots of her natural blond hair, and said "Pleased to meet you Ennis del Mar. My name's Alma. Alma Beers."

When she regained herself, she said "Now you set to eatin, I'll be back there if you need anything. Refills or anything. Just holler."

And he did. As he ate, he was calculating how much he could make per week at the grocery store, and wondering how much more he could find to do in or near this town. Most everyone he'd talked to hadn't known of any ranching jobs. He sensed someone at his elbow, and there she was with the tea pitcher. "More ice?" and he shook his head "no."

"You say you are lookin for work?" and he nodded again.

"Well, my daddy Thomas Beers, is the postmaster over at the post office on Main Street.

They sometimes have jobs posted over there. Good luck findin what ya need." And at that she gathered up his empty plates, and asked if there'd be anything else. She rang his purchases, gave him his change and watched him walk out to the street. She realized then that he didn't have a clue where the post office was, so she ran out and pointed him in the right direction.

"Daddy?"

"What's wrong darlin'? Why you calling me in the middle of the day at work?"

"Daddy, there's a young man headed your way. I got a feelin' about him. He's lookin for work. Would you see what you can do for him? OH, and I doubt he has anywhere to stay, you might . . . "

"He just walked in the door now. Gotta go daughter. Bye, little one,"

"busy body" Thomas Beers muttered fondly under his breath.

Ennis was reading all manner of notices on this board. Someone selling a gelding, someone offering rabbits for the table, another person offered childcare in their home, and another lady advertised 'Affordable Altering'. Though valuable, none of these things were what he needed at the moment. When Thomas approached Ennis, he turned and said "Mr. Beers?" The man nodded, and Ennis continued, "I'm looking for work, and your daughter was kind enough to direct me here."

"What kinda work you looking for, young man?" Ennis introduced himself, told a bit about his experience, but reiterated that beggars couldn't be choosers and he'd take anything he could get. At last, Mr. Beers pulled a full page of small print out of an envelope, and explained that it had just come that day.

"It's from the Farm and Ranch Employment Service. Don't start till May 1st, but it's for a full summer's work herding sheep. Don't pay much, but includes food and lodging. If you're interested . . ."

" I'll take it, you bet!" and between them, they read enough to know who to contact, and before he left there that day, he had a summer job lined up on Brokeback Mountain.

Mr. Beers suggested that Ennis go talk to an elderly lady on Walnut Street, Mrs. Goebel. She needed help around the house and yard, and offered a nice room and board, as payment. She never advertised, just waited for someone trustworthy to be recommended. Her last helper had left two months ago to join the Navy. She was getting desperate for help and Ennis filled the bill exactly.

Ennis' room was small and clean, but smelled strongly of mothballs. He tried but failed to open the windows to air the room out, but found they were all painted shut. His first "project" was to get those windows open. And he did. She cooked for him every day, but he never knew what it was he was eating. It was all overcooked to the point of being unrecognizable. It was hot and filling though, and did not have a bad taste, quite the contrary. He was grateful to have the food and grateful to have her prepare it for him

Ennis didn't understand most of what Mrs. Goebel said, but figured it out with motions and gestures. It was much later that he realized that she had grown up speaking German, and her accent was still quite pronounced.

She told him that she had been in the concentration camp at Buchenwald. All her family died there. She was a German Jew. He did not really know much about what happened nor why, but he asked her to tell him about it. When he wasn't cleaning the gutters, or weatherstripping all the doors and windows, or mowing the lawn or raking leaves, she would sit with him in the parlor and show him pictures and mementoes from those she'd lost. She told him stories of her family members including her young husband and her two babies who were stripped from her the day she was taken and never saw them again.

They talked often, and eventually she told him of the overalls with color badges they had to wear. Political prisoners such as Communists wore red triangles, She, as a Jew, had to wear yellow, common criminals wore green triangles, homosexual men wore pink triangles, black for Gypsys and purple for Jehovah's Witnesses. Ennis had thought that his loss of family was equal to hers, but he finally realized that his loss was due to an accident, while hers was so much worse for it had been intricately planned with outright hatred. He didn't understand how one group of people could hate so much that they planned to rid the earth of the hated group. But something from his childhood had shown him that it was so.

With Mrs. Goebel's permission, he cleaned out her old unused stable, and went back to the post office to check on that gelding that was for sale. Better by far than a truck, and he would be good company to boot. Ennis walked to his job at Smith's and on errands he ran for Mrs. G. But on his own time, he saddled up Sage, and went out to all the local ranches. He talked to the owners or foremen, whoever he could get to talk to him. He let them know he was experienced, and waiting for a job to open up in ranching. He missed livestock, hard work and country air. No one had anything at the moment, but they'd keep him in mind, they said.

Mr. Beers invited Ennis to come for Sunday dinner at their house, after church services were over. Ennis would be at church anyway as one of his duties was to escort Mrs. G. to the church and walk her home again.

The first time he came over, they invited Mrs. Goebel, as well. In the weeks following, they only invited Ennis. He didn't mind, they were all nice people. Alma's ma never had two words to say about anything; he liked her fine. She was a good cook too. But Alma and her dad kept the conversation lively. Her sister was as quiet as her mom.

Ennis never invited Alma out on a date, though he suspected she'd like him to. First he didn't dare spend the money, and second, he didn't think of her that way. She was a terrific girl, but she was Alma. Just a friend.

During a Sunday dinner about two months after Ennis got to town, Mr. Beers started saying " It's a pitiful thing for a man to not have a son. All I got to show for all my hard work and at that, he winked at his wife is two girls. What's a man to do? Maybe my girls will find me a couple of good sons. What about you, Ennis? You the marrying kind? You wanna save me from being so outnumbered here in my own home? Will you PLEASE marry one of my daughters? Just pick one, I don't care which."

All Ennis could muster, was "Um, no sir, guess I ain't the marrying kind after all."

And both girls were so embarrassed, their faces were flaming red. Mr. Beers never tried that particular tactic again, though he didn't give up on having Ennis for a son-in-law.

In early April, Ennis went back to Shoshoni, for KE's and Barbie's wedding. It was a small affair, but nice. KE looked happy and Barbie was beginning to show a bit. It was good to see his sister again. Maggie said her new life was good, and she was never hungry. Ennis said he was no longer hungry either. KE agreed. This had been a huge motivator in their lives. Hunger and Fear of Hunger. Maggie and KE and Ennis talked about their futures, and they also divided the items their parents had left behind after their untimely deaths. They hated to part so soon, but each was anxious to get back to their new lives as well. Though it was in each of their hearts, none said "I love you" to their siblings. They were not that kind of people. They promised to write and keep in touch. Due to Life's changes, jobs, and loss of jobs, that did not happen.

On a Sunday in mid April, Alma asked Ennis to go for a walk after dinner. The church youth group was holding a dance that night, and she asked him if he'd go with her. He didn't really dance, but he didn't know how to get out of it, since she had done so much for him. So he agreed. He confessed his inexperience with dancing, and she excitedly grabbed his hand, and pulled him home. They practiced to the record player in the living room, and gradually he began to relax about this dancing stuff. At last he felt competent to at least do a slow dance not too many intricate steps to learn and they had one more run through, before he was to go home and get washed up for tonight.

She pulled herself in tight against him, and rotated her hips a bit, startling him with the sensations that raced through him. When she pulled in again, he was ready for her and ground against her too. When the song was almost over, she took his hand and placed it on the side of her breast, letting him feel the fullness there, waiting for him. They were both breathing hard, and they were sorry to hear the final strains of the music.

Ennis had never known desire before. Oh he'd had his share of wet dreams, and he'd experimented with his own hand, but this was different. This was another person. And she seemed to want this too. They clung together at the dance that night, and when they walked home after, Alma made sure that he "accidentally" brushed her breast several times.

They stopped in a small copse of trees and pulled tightly together again. Hands roaming all over each other as far as they could reach, theirs hearts were pounding, and breaths rasping. Ennis pulled her down on the ground and they got into a bit of heavy petting.

His head was spinning.

When she lay back and pulled on his hand, he laid on top of her as she wanted. He went out of his mind with sensations all so new. He began grinding his swollen penis against her, their clothing adding a nice bit of friction. Their grinding and humping resulted in both of them coming in their pants, and when he kissed her mouth chastely, she opened her lips to him. This warm, wet world was very enticing to one who had always been on the outside looking in. No one had ever been "his' before.

When they'd regained their normal breathing, Alma spoke softly into Ennis' ear. "Guess this shows how we truly feel about each other, Ennis. You gonna talk to daddy soon about us getting married then?"

Ennis nodded. Yes, he better do that, after what he'd just done to her, he thought. Besides, when he married her, they could do lots more of this.

Ennis left Riverton, WY, hitchhiking to Signal at the end of April, still a virgin looking forward to his wedding night.

The Beers family had happily accepted Ennis and planned for a small wedding as soon as he came back from that little summer job.


	41. Chapter 41

For a man who spent most of his life looking forward to more of the same hard work and empty nothing, his eyes always cast down at the ground, Ennis Del Mar was changing. He was now frequently seen looking at birds, trees, skies of every mood, and the bluest eyes he could have never imagined.

For a young man who was sure that nothing had ever come to his hand the right way and never would, Jack was content and excited at the same time.

Each day he woke to anticipate looking into the depths of Ennis' eager brown eyes. Each of them was enjoying this new experience, this treasured friend, this companion where none had been expected.

It was August 1st, 1963 and all was right with the world. Actually, as far as Ennis and Jack were concerned, all was blissful with the world. But that was not a word they ever would have thought of, much less said to anyone – especially not to each other. But they felt it alright. Oh yes, they felt it.

The two young herders had experienced several big storms while tending the summer flock up on Brokeback, but last week had come a doozy. It was similar to the storm that had killed 42 sheep the year before, when Jack was up there all alone. The hail and constant lightning were proof to him that Ennis could drift off the mountain; it wouldn't be safe to let him out of his sight till the storm had blown through. Consequently, Ennis didn't return to the sheep that night, agreeing to stay relatively safe in the tent in Jack's arms. The frightened sheep strayed during the night and got mixed in with a Chilean flock on the next allotment. What a mess that had been to untangle. But together, they brought about a measure of order.

Ennis smiled as he thought about how he had teased Jack about playing his harmonica as they returned to the camp after getting the sheep sorted as best they could and the count somewhat right, "gonna run them sheep off again, you don't quiet down". Jack had grinned wickedly and continued to plague Ennis' with his tuneless mechanical whine.

When all was pretty much back to normal with the flock, Jack spent the night up on the mountain with Ennis in the pup tent. The stench Jack had complained about early on had prevented Ennis from using the tent up there his first night being "herder" to Jack's "camp tender" and he'd slept in the open against the same log that Jack had preferred. The next day he scrubbed the life out of that little tent in the mountain stream, and got rid of most of the sharp tang of cat piss, although not all. He hung the pup tent over a low tree limb to dry, Aguirre's rules be damned. At this point he didn't care if the Forest Service did find his tent, he was going to be as

comfortable in the small tent as he could make it.

Now that they were sleeping together they didn't care about something so insignificant as a musty smelling tent. They'd put up with worse before.

The next night both stayed in the large tent in camp, and the following night they were up on the mountain again with the sheep. Ennis killed another coyote that night. With this reminder of the very real danger to the sheep, they decided to stay up in the pup tent at least two nights to every one night down in base camp. This was their life now, sharing duties and staying together.

This one particularly soft, damp night, they had put the camp in order after having their evening meal of rabbit, potatoes, and beans and each had a half can of peaches. They sipped on a cup of Old Rose and Ennis began to feel a bit frisky. He grabbed the harmonica from Jack's mouth and ran around the camp with it, laughing. He told Jack his ears couldn't take it no more, and other unkind things, while he slowed his steps to make sure his man caught him soon. Because being more than an arm's length from Jack Twist was what Ennis really couldn't take no more.

What began with teasing, laughing and playing ended with hot, hard sex on the groundcloth. Each man's neck sported desperate suck marks, and they had clawed scratches on their hips and thighs. They'd cooled down while wrapped around each other. When not even their companion's body heat was enough to keep them comfortable, they'd buttoned and zipped up and pulled the canvas blanket up over their sleepy forms, Ennis and Jack were wrapped around each other so that one could not tell where he ended and his lover began.

While they slept, another front blew in. This new storm, compared to others they'd seen, wasn't much. But the lightning made a lucky strike; a direct hit on the tree that stood near their well-used tent.

As the tree fell inexorably toward them, it picked up speed, and made a groaning sound not unlike a human in agony. A sound which, had they heard it, they could not have prevented the disastrous end anyway.

Their cloth home was demolished, crushed beneath more than a ton of trunk and limbs hundreds of years old, no more to be a shelter for man, bird nor beast.

. . . Some time passes . . .

As the sun rose over the Piazza, Ennis began to groan and stretch, yawning to wake fully even though his chest was constricted by the weight of Jack against him. His back was aching as if he'd slept on concrete.

"Wha' the fuck!?" he said as he jostled Jack's shoulder roughly to wake him.

"Mornin', cowboy" said Jack, his eyes squinched shut as he yawned a huge yawn and stretched out his arms. Just then, Jack heard distant voices. His eyes flew open, and both Ennis and Jack stared around them unable to figure out where they were, or what they were dreaming. Could they both be having the same dream?

People were walking briskly, most were going in the same direction, on a street paved with stones. It was a street, right? What are all those columns? Where were they and how'd they get here? What was happening to them?

"Who are these people?!" cried Ennis.

"You see them, too?" asked Jack.

"Fuck Yeah, I do - you too, huh?"

By now, they were trying to stand up, their muscles aching as if a tree had fallen on them.

A grey haired woman wearing a black lacey thing on her head, approached them, smiling as if they were her long lost cousins. "Buon giorno!" she said.

They just stared at her as if she might sprout wings and fly.

"You reckon we're dead, Ennis? Is this heaven?"

"Dunno, bud."

Other people gathered around them, and began to smile, and talk to them but no matter how hard Ennis and Jack listened, they could not understand a word the people were saying.

"These folks sure are jolly, ain't they?" said Ennis. Jack just shrugged his shoulders. The people were almost laughing out loud, and sure enough, it looked like they were laughing at T H E M.

A man approached, smiling broadly and offering his hand, as if to shake hands. He said "Di Dov'e?" and as the two newcomers just shook their heads silently at him, he understood that they did not speak Italian, and did not know that he was asking them where they were from.

So he spoke louder.

And pointing to his chest, he said "Mi chiamo Michele."

Then he raised his eyebrows a fraction and asked "Come si chiamo?"

Still they stood mute, waiting for a word they understood.

When several passersby had tried Greek, French and Spanish on them all to no avail, finally someone asked, "do you speak English?". They breathed a sigh of relief and gladly began to say "yes, where are we?" and "how do we get home?" and "where is the restroom?" and other pertinent questions.

They learned that they had been a strange sight for folks coming to early morning Mass, as they were sleeping on the monument, the obelisk, in St. Peter's Square, at the Vatican. In Rome, Italy. As big a shock as it was to them to be here, it was still exciting, for Jack especially. He began to ask many questions of the good hearted person who was able to speak English and therefore help them in their time of total isolation. Linguistically speaking, of course.

"Vuole qualcosa da mangiare?" (would you like something to eat?) Ha, she laughed at herself as she remembered to speak English, then kindly asked them if they were hungry.

"Yes, we are." said Jack.

"Why not try some Italian? You know what they say, 'when in Rome, do as the Romans do.' Just say "si" for yes."

She introduced herself as Signora Bellino. She told them she happened upon them because she is a daily communicant, and had been on her way to Mass.

They had no idea what that was, so they just nodded and smiled.

Jack tried again, "Si, Signora Bellino, we are very hungry."

In very short order, they were seated at a small round table outside a café, where waiters wearing crisp white shirts and black pants brought coffee without being asked, then took the food order from the older lady. While they were drinking the strong, wonderful coffee, and eating the fruit and crusty bread, Jack asked the Signora why so many people in the square were looking at them, and seemed to be laughing.

"Because of the book. You are the men on the book, are you not?"

They both gave her such puzzled looks, that she realized they knew nothing of the book, nor of how they got here to the basilica in Roma.

Jack was the more adventuresome in this strange land, and not afraid to appear foolish because of asking so many questions. "Please ma'm, Will you tell us what you know about the book? And why we woke up on that cement thing in a strange country?"

"Please, call me Philomena, and I will call Jack and Ennis, if that's all right. Ah so, it all began yesterday afternoon. A modestly dressed young woman came to the Piazza San Pietro, acting a bit strangely. She crept up to the monument, where you awoke this morning. She frequently looked over her shoulder, left and right. She knelt and bowed her head and pulled a small book from her purse. She tenderly kissed the book, and then standing on tip toe, she placed the book up as high as she could reach on the obelisk. "

"Well, what's that got a do with us?" asked Ennis. "What was the book about?"

Signora Bellino began again. "The book is called 'Brokeback Mountain, and. ."

At those words, Ennis and Jack looked at each other, both blanched, and became cold and clammy. "Go on, please." requested Ennis.

"The book is in English, so most people here could not read it, but word has circulated that it was about two men who have amore vietato, how you say. . .forbidden love . .a special relationship. They are in love with each other. The book tells of their attempts over twenty years' time, to have a life together. The picture on the cover is of the two of you, Jack, I swear."

"Twenty years?!?" gasped Ennis.

"Thought you said this was a one-shot thing, Ennis. Knew you was wrong about that, friend." whispered Jack as he smiled directly into Ennis' eyes.

"Why was that book placed on the monument, do you know Philomena?"

"From the inscriptions covering almost every page, Ennis, it appears it is a message to the Holy Father. He stands against love and marriage between two people of the same sex, and the messages addressed how mis-guided he is in this opinion. Many implored him to rethink his ideals, and to treat all people fairly."

Neither Ennis nor Jack could think of a thing to say about that. And then Ennis asked about anger. "Were the people who wrote in the book angry? Were they threatening?"

"No not threatening, I'm sure they were angry on some level, but all were simple requests for fairness, for a reassessment."

Ennis leaned forward and looked at Philomena as they walked away from the cafe, "Why're all these men wearing black dresses?"

She chuckled lightly and informed him that these men were priests from all over the world. It was a pilgrimage that they would make huge sacrifices for, to come to Roma, to see the Pontiff, perhaps even have an audience.

Jack asked, "Is the Pontiff, the same person as the Pope, Philomena?'

"Si, Jack. And he is sometimes called The Holy Father, as well. He has many titles across the world."

"Could we see him then? And ask him about the book?" enquired Ennis.

Philomena smiled and sighed. "Unfortunately, it's a very difficult, long process to see the Holy Father. People make reservations months, sometimes years in advance."

Jack nodded. "So if something is very difficult, it's like 'seein the pope', is that right?"

"Si, Jack. That is correct."

At this time, Philomena began pointing out famous buildings, fountains and statues. Most they had not heard of before. But when she took them to see the Sistine Chapel, they were both dumb-struck and in awe. They could have stayed there for days; too soon it was time to leave. Signora Bellino took them to a small ristorante where they had a wonderful meal of pasta with grilled vegetables. The men thanked her sincerely for hosting them all day, for feeding them, and for telling them about the book.

The light was fading, and Philomena indicated that she wanted to go to Vespers, an evening church service. They felt they had taken up enough of her time, so they said they would wander about a bit on their own. When she took hold of Ennis she kissed him on each cheek, then did the same to Jack. Walking away, she waved and called "buona sera, bambinos!"

"Wish we had some money to throw in this fountain. Look Ennis, at all the coins down there." Jack just seemed to know that romantic people from all over the world hoped for good luck when they tossed coins into this fountain.

"Humph, nothing good ever came from throwing away money, you ask me." replied Ennis. Jack just laughed at him.

Ennis wrinkled up his face and seriously asked Jack "Does this place seem normal to you, Jack? You ever see so many statues? Most a them seem to be a naked men, or even groups a naked people."

"I don't know about normal, Ennis, but I sure am enjoying looking at all those naked men. Whoo Whee boy. Did you see the dick on that one back there , "

"Jack! Stop! Someone will hear you. You gittin tired yet? Wanna find a place to sleep tonight?"

"Ennis, we ain't got no money a either kind, ours or theirs. Where you thinking a sleepin?"

"Dunno, Jack. Something just makes me think we should go back to the monument, you know, where we started at this morning."

As dark as it was, they didn't think anyone could see them there in the shadows of the obelisk. They wadded up their coats for pillows and wrapped around each other as best they could. Ennis put his hands on Jack's face and pulled him in for a kiss; just a light, loving goodnight kiss. No intentions behind it.

Jack reached down and cupped the front of Ennis' jeans, and squeezed just a tiny bit. "That was so you'd know I'm still here, Ennis. Good night, cowboy."

"That was mean, Jack Fuckin Twist. Now I'm all tingly and lookin for more.

How'm I supposed to sleep after that? Huh?"

"Well, are you sayin' that you need me to help you out, friend?"

"I sure as hell am!"

Chuckling like a kid, Jack unbuttoned all his man's buttons and put his face into the warmth of Ennis' southern regions. He pulled and suckled and swallowed and sighed. At some point, Ennis moved Jack so he could get at his buttons too. Soon both were making noises of release and happiness - right there in Rome, Italy, in front of the pope's house.

They just barely remembered to button up before falling contentedly fast asleep.

. . . some time passes . . .

It was dark as night; it was night. Ennis began choking, his mouth full of dirt and debris, he didn't know what it was. In order to catch his breath he attempted to jump up and walk around a bit. He was pinned down it seemed, couldn't jump up.

"Jack?"

"Jack!" cough Ennis reached out to touch Jack, but all he found was rough bark and leaves. He began pushing at the weight across his back, and found he could not move it. All of his body seemed to work though, he was not aware of any pain, but his mind was in a panic over what had happened, and where was his Jack.

"Hunnh?" Jack was struggling to wake to Ennis' calls.

Ennis realized that Jack was under him, mostly under his chest and arms.

"Jack, stay still. cough Something has happened, I don't know what. Going to try to get outa here." Ennis stopped struggling, had to regain some breath or he'd never get anywhere. He tried breathing more shallowly to stop some of the choking and coughing.

His efforts had caused him to sweat, and he was hot in his coat. If he could slide out of it, he might create enough space to slither out from under this thing that was holding him down.

Ennis touched the side of Jack's face, "you okay?"

"don't know yet."

They stopped talking to conserve breath. Seemed like hours later, Ennis was able to slither out from under the tree limb that had him held in place. He quickly surveyed what had happened, and almost passed out, just thinking what might have happened - they could both be dead right now!

'Del Mar, stop wasting time!' Ennis told himself. He figured out the best way to get Jack out, and encouraged him while Jack slithered and slid to freedom.

"That is one huge fuckin tree!" Jack said, when he could get away from it and see the situation for what it was. Their tent was completely covered by branches, the main trunk missed hitting them by less than two feet. He got lightheaded again, when he realized how close they came to being killed.

Ennis had found the water bucket and was rinsing out his mouth and eyes.

When they both could see, they turned to each other and reached out.

"C'mere."

"It's alright, it's alright."

They were trembling, they held tightly to one another for a time. And then they started running their hands all over arms, legs, chest, back, checking, double-checking.

"You all right, you sure you ain't hurt?"

"Jes' my head, it hurts like a sunovabitch."

"Yeah, mine too." He pushed the hair from Ennis' forehead. " ooooh, you got a goose egg. Do I?"

He ran his hands up Jake's face, and pulled back his hair, "you bet!"

They stood like that, arms around each other, and looked back at the tent.

Each was thinking how close they came to being killed, but neither wanted to voice that thought.

"When it gets full daylight, we can start sawing up some of those limbs, Jack. Just till we can get the tent free, and get our blanket rolls, and our clothes, not much else in there."

"Okay then. I could use some more sleep, Ennis."

"Yeah, me too, darlin'."

"You want a fire, Cowboy?"

"Naw, too windy and I'm not staying awake to watch it."

They snuggled down together against the log that they kept near the fire to sit on, it would serve as a windbreak since they had no blankets, and the morning was chilly.

"Had the strangest dream, Cowboy."

"Me too, tell you about it some time, bud."

As they drifted off to sleep, they held tight to one another, their treasure, their companion.

At sunrise, they stirred. It was going to be a beautiful day.

Ennis looked at his Jack, kissed the side of his face and said

"caio, bello!"

Jack smiled, ran his fingers through Ennis' curls, "ti amo, bello!"

- 30 -


	42. Chapter 42

A Better Idea - Chapter 42

Dear friends: Mother's Day – A Moment Between Here and There

Will Continue in Chapter 43

Genre: BBM

Pairing: Ennis + Jack 4 Ever

Disclaimer: I created the OC's but not the O/S characters. They belong solely to Annie Proulx, with some tweaking by Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana. No money is being made, nor fame and fortune of any kind.

Disclaimer #2: This story is unbeta'd so you have no one to blame but me for errors or controversy.

Rating: A Better Idea is all over the map, but the basic premise is that two men love each other. If you don't like m/m slash, don't read this.

A/N #1: I adore reading other author's fics, and they inspire me to continue to write. But this story, this ABI Universe is my original work. Any similarities, yadda, yadda, coincidence.

A/N #2 - Thank you to all those folks who've added me as a friend lately, and those who have been dropping hints about "when in the world is A Better Idea updating?". The last couple nudges came from nosunlight Can't Stand It and from Cwby30, prolific reader, faithful reviewer, and now writer. You guys are great!

Feedback: You bet. I hope you like it.

Chapter 42

The Déjà vu scene continued . . . .

This scene begins immediately following Chapter 38, where our two guys are packing up Jack's childhood mementoes. A flash of memory hits Ennis as he sees a certain boyhood treasure.

LIGHTNING FLAT, WY

Jack was sitting on the floor, pawing through ribbons, leaflets, his Mutton Bustin number "1963" with a rusty safety pin on each corner, a couple of old comic books and what looked like straw. Excitedly he dumped it all out on the floor so he wouldn't miss any of it.

He found a snapshot of his grandma and grandpa Bell, his aunts, uncles, cousins, mama, daddy and him at the State Fair. He knew it was '53 cause that's the only year he ever went. He was choked by a wave of sadness clogging his throat; he missed his grandparents.

Jack recalled that grandpa Will had asked a man named Wyler, of the Flying W, to take this picture of the family before they all got into the dirt, heat and humidity at the fair. Mama will be so excited to see this, he thought. He began to stand up to go show her the treasure he'd come upon.

When he raised his eyes to the silent room, Ennis was standing stock still, and staring. . . but not at Jack.

As Ennis had turned to see why Jack was being quiet, his glance fell upon a Gabby Hayes Western Comic Book on the floor. His eyes went from that dog-eared book, to Jack's face, and back to the book.

"You're Jack." he whispered in a tremulous voice.

"What?" Jack asked.

"I'm Ennis. From the fair, Jack. I'm Ennis. I looked for you all that week when my daddy'd let me outa his sights." His eyes were large and hollow like he'd lost his best friend, which is exactly how he was feeling now as well as back then.

Jack let go of the photo, picked up the comic book and looked up at Ennis. "In the sheep barn? It's you? Ennis? Ohmygod, I never put it together."

"Me neither, till just now. But hell, Jack! You know that many Ennises, that you didn't think it was odd? My name, and all?"

"Well, my mama has a distant cousin name a Ennis. And there was one boy in my school. It's an old fashioned name, but not totally unknown. . . oh my god, Ennis! C'mere baby. It's all right."

While Jack was speaking, Ennis' face began to crumple; he sat on the floor and reached out for Jack. Jack moved to rest his back against his old bed, and cradled Ennis against his chest, hugging him, still with that faraway look in his eyes. They were both seeing 1953, instead of 1984.

"I thought I'd lost you. We never even got to last names or nothing. Couldn't think of no way to find you, Ennis."

"Me neither, but I sure did try. We only stayed that week.

Did you ever go back?"

"Naw, did you?"

"Nuhuh, never coulda 'forded it. We only went that time cause daddy hired us out to the Flying W to help transport . . ."

"With that Mr. Wyler?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"He's the one took this picture." Jack retrieved the picture and handed it to Ennis. Showing his young self to Ennis, Jack felt kinda shy, but Ennis immediately loved seeing his long lost friend as he had looked back then.

"That's it, there you are. Can I keep this, Jack?"

"Ennis del Mar, you ain't never asked me for a single thing in your whole entire life; course you can have it, Cowboy. But I gotta show it to mama first, and. . .come on . . . . let's tell'em!"

"And after his daddy drug him off from the sheep barn, and I went off to ride in the Mutton Bustin, I looked up and down the midway everyday, checked all the pavilions and exhibits, and I haunted that sheep barn, but never did catch a glimpse a my new friend again. All that summer, back here at home, I thought "wonder what my friend Ennis is doing today?" . . like that."

Ennis just hung his head, remembering how lonely it was lookin for Jack high and low and never finding him. Mom massaged his wide shoulders, gently drawing circles on his back, then turned it into a hug.

"You boys made a solid connection mighty fast. It seems a miracle that you found one another again. But imagine! You didn't remember till today. That is strange, and you almost did not realize it, even now. The key was an old comic book. The Lord works in mysterious ways. I for one, am mighty thankful to Him that it all worked out eventually."

Ennis and Jack were nodding their agreement, but John remained stoic. He was in turmoil behind his silent face. So many thoughts running through his head. Recalling his hateful, vindictive old self: How he threw away Jack's black hat that Dad Bell had given him. 'That boy had too much pride, he'd show him. He needed to be taken down a peg or two!' John remembered it all as if it were yesterday, and was deeply ashamed of all of it. He knew he had wasted way too much time marinating in those bitter old juices!

For some reason this reminded him of the stormy day Bobby found the shirts and brought them into the light. Seeing those shirts again, here in Lightning Flat, was shocking to Ennis. He realized then that Jack had already loved him when they came down from the mountain in '63. He'd loved him so much that he'd swiped his bloody shirt and kept both shirts entwined and enshrined all these years. Ennis broke down that day and told the assembled family the story of the shirts and what they meant.

John recalled how the two boys, now men, reacted to these memories. How they'd said vows to each other, the shirts draped over their hands, and the family as their witnesses. It was the first time he'd ever allowed himself the idea that these were two people, like any other, who loved each other. Just like he loved Claire, as natural as the rain. Seeing them like that was a turning point in his attitude about many things.

But today, it was even more apparent, that these two men were meant to be together all along. Two chance meetings, and more wasted years, but finally together. "Finally. And thank God!" he said fervently and aloud. Claire caught her husband's eye; she saw that he was sincere, and nodded in agreement.

There was no more packing that day. Claire put on a pot of coffee, and set out a plate of peanut butter cookies, while she recalled aloud the Events she had entered, whether she'd won or not won. And the fun they'd had riding the rides, and eating all the fair food, like cotton candy, elephant ears, and corn dogs.

She said Kenneth took first prize for the most awful Technicolor Yawn, after eating three hot dogs and some pink cotton candy before riding the tilt-awheel again and again.

That week was so special an occasion because all the family was there at the Fair except for Harold and Lilah Jean, who were expecting their first within a week or two.

John joined the conversation to tell a couple of things that his father-in-law had said or done. He patted Claire's hand when she misted up, telling stories about her mother and father, now gone.

"Tell about the quilt you made me, mama." said Jack.

"What about it, son?

"Did you win a ribbon for my quilt?"

"I took second to your Aunt Iris! And she's the one who had insisted that I enter it in the first place."

"Can we show my quilt to Ennis? Where is it, mama?"

As Claire sorted through the items in the trunk, she was struck by a realization, and she sent up a prayer of thanks for her large, helpful, loving family. "Ennis, come here, honey."

She pulled out the Bull & Rider quilt and laid it aside; closing the trunk lid. she sat on it, and patted a spot beside her for Ennis to sit. "While I was going through these things, I realized that I came _This Close _to meeting you that week, and also your mother, daddy, brother and sister. I sure wish I had met you all, Ennis. I know I'da loved'em, especially your mother. Tell me about her, son, what do you remember? What was she called?"

Ennis got comfortable, scrunched up next to Mom and thought back to his childhood, before the accident. "Her name was Elnora Rose McCain Del Mar. Everybody called her Ellie. She always wanted to be called Rose, but was not, except by her best friend, Pearl, from grade school."

Ennis looked down at his lap, cleared his throat and began again.

"Her hair was the color a mine, but not as curly. She was pretty I think; maybe all kids think that. She was beautiful to me." Ennis looked up at Jack's family all looking at him, and his pride was shining in his eyes. "She loved to read and thought it was real important for us kids. She made daddy let us have 30 minutes on Sundays after chores was done, so she could read to us. She had a book called the Child's Garden of Verses, and read from that sometimes, or she would read from the Bible, too."

Ennis thought he'd said all he could think of, but when Claire nodded at him to go ahead, this flow of memories once started, just kept going. "She sewed hers and Maggie's clothes, but not for KE and me. She ordered what we needed out of the Sears and Roebuck."

Smiling he said, "Mother would sometimes snort when she laughed and that made us kids laugh too. She couldn't stand to eat brussel sprouts, nor okra, but she loved beans." He looked over at Jack then, and grinned.

Claire said, "Oh Ennis, thank you. Now I feel as if I know her a bit. What was her favorite color or flower, do you know?"

He thought but couldn't come up with anything. "Uh, I don't know for sure, but she grew yellow roses around the side a the house, and marigolds on the borders of the vegetable garden. And she wore a lot of brown. I thought she looked so pretty when she wore brown."

"And you don't have any pictures of her, or yourself?"

"No, Mom. But I got their trunk, with a few of their things in it, I'll check again to see if there's anything I missed."

Claire would see to it that this mother of Ennis del Mar had her proper homage on Mother's Day if she did nothing more. She owed her that, and prayerfully thanked her for giving her this son of her heart.

Excitedly, Jack picked up the quilt and brought it to Ennis. "See, Ennis, mama made me this cool quilt, and then took a ribbon with it at the fair. It was on my bed for years, till I got too old for it. This was from the time I first met you. Can you believe it?"

Ennis couldn't. He kept his head down, in case his emotions would show, and he didn't want that. "Let me see your picture again, Jack. I still can't hardly believe we didn't recognize each other there at Aguirre's trailer, nor all those weeks up on Brokeback."

Handing the photo to Ennis, Jack agreed, "I know! How could we not?"

Ennis studied young Jack, and said, "well see here, your face was a bit rounder, still some babyishness I think. And you surely didn't have that 5 o'clock shadow in them days."

"True, true, I did look young here." agreed Jack. "But I can't figure why I didn't recognize You. I would know those brown eyes and blond curls anywhere!"

Suddenly, the light came on in Ennis' closet of memories, and he recalled what had happened three days before they left for the Fair. "My dad skinned me right down to the scalp, just about."

He said. "There weren't no curls!"

"See, money was kinda tight and daddy was bitch er . . Sorry Mom. Daddy always complained about the cost of haircuts for two no 'ccount boys at the barber shop in town. He ordered a hair trimmer kit from Sears, and every year from the time I was five till, well forever, as long as he lived, he kept me pretty well shorn from Easter to Thanksgiving. KE fought him over it and got out of it when he was 13, but the year I was 13 was when they had the accident. I hated it, that summer haircut, and have never had that again. So, ya see Jack, neither one a us looked the same anymore. That's why we didn't recognize each other till now when I seen that comic book."

Tbc . . . . . in Chapter 43


	43. Chapter 43

A Better Idea - Chapter 43

Mother's Day, 1984 – A Moment Between Here and There

This picks up following the Déjà vu scene in Chapter 42.

Genre: BBM

Pairing: Ennis + Jack 4 Ever

Disclaimer: I created the OC's but not the O/S characters. They belong solely to Annie Proulx, with some tweaking by Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana. No money is being made, nor fame and fortune of any kind.

Disclaimer #2: This story is unbeta'd so you have no one to blame but me for errors or controversy.

Rating: A Better Idea is all over the map, but the basic premise is that two men love each other. If you don't like m/m slash, don't read this.

A/N #1: I adore reading other author's fics, and they inspire me to continue to write. But this story, this ABI Universe is my original work. Any similarities, yadda, yadda, coincidence.

A/N #2 - Thank you to all those who are still reading and enjoying, whether you post a comment or not. Of course I love every single one of those comments. You guys are great!

Feedback: You bet. I hope you like it.

Chapter 43 Mother's Day . . . . continued

In bed that night, Ennis told Jack most a the ideas he'd come up with for celebrating Mother's Day for Mom. Jack was amazed at all the detail Ennis had already worked through, to make a wonderful celebration for mama.

"Where's the party at, and is it the same place everyone is staying?"

"Well, not the locals a course, but yes, every one is staying at the hotel where the party is, easier that way."

"What's the name a the place?"

"It's at the corner a Federal Boulevard and Main Street, in Riverton."

"Uh, is there a problem with the name, Ennis?"

"No, not a problem, exactly," Ennis smirked, and took Jack's face in his hands, began kissing his eyelids, his nose, the side of his face, his lips, then on down to the sweet spot behind his ear, his long neck and the hollow of his throat.

"You tryin a distract me, Ennis del Mar?"

"Is it workin'?" Ennis said as he kept kissing and nibbling as he dragged his body lower and lower to reach more of Jack.

"You bet your ass it's workin, Cowboy. You had me at 'Ennis.' "

"Hmmmm?" Ennis kept to his journey, further and further south along the trail to paradise. All of a sudden, he lifted his face and asked. "What're ya talkin' about, Jack? I had you WHEN?"

"In fronta that godforsaken trailer, when I stuck out my hand and said, 'Jack Twist', and you said 'Ennis'. I was already done for."

"Hmmm, you ever think you might just be easy?" Ennis had resumed his travels down his beautiful man, licking and sucking and kissing.

"Maybe so, but darlin' where you're concerned, it ain't like I got a choice in the matter." Jack watched Ennis' head as he licked wet streaks across his belly and down.

"Hmmm, you complainin'?" Ennis could barely keep up his end of this conversation, engrossed as he was in his project here, while his chin was continually getting bumped by Jack's eager dick, making tracks of it's own.

"Never. Never. Far be it from me to ever .. AH, uh . . . do that." Then Jack began his own version of Ennis Appreciation. They made love slow and sweet tonight, nothing rushed, nothing hurried, nothing overlooked.

They fell asleep content and fulfilled.

Ennis was awake within two hours, worried and wondering if he'd thought of everything for the party. His mind was awhirl until about four when he finally dropped into an exhausted sleep.

Thursday came at last. Breakfast was D-Day and Ennis was sweating. He'd never taken on something like this, and he was nervous about how it would work out.

Once everyone started eating, Ennis looked at Claire and cleared his throat. "Uh, Mom?"

She kept on eating, forking a bite of scrambled egg into her mouth, she said, "Hmm?" then reached for her coffee cup to take a sip of the hot liquid. Hearing nothing more, she looked up at Ennis who was just sitting there, looking at her.

She put down her fork, and gave him all her attention, "What is it, Ennis? Is something wrong?"

Ennis had tried his best to get out of this, but Jack was adamant, "It's your idea, and your party Ennis, you need to tell her yourself."

Even dad had declined to take the lead, saying "you're on your own on this one, boy. Good luck."

"Well, no, nothing's wrong, actually. It's just that .. well, Sunday is Mother's Day, and we have a special plan. Yeah, that's it. A surprise sorta.

"A surprise."

"Yes'm, and you need to pack a bag for uh, two, three days. Okay?"

"Okay, Ennis."

"It is?"

"Yes, will I need an evening gown?"

"What?"

At this, they all laughed and the tension was broken. Even Ennis laughed at himself, and heaved a big sigh of relief.

"Ennis, did you put Walter and Iris in charge of the animals and such here on the ranch for this weekend?"

"Yes, they offered to help out, why?"

"Wondered why they were hovering so." admitted Claire.

"It was Iris' idea to kidnap you." Ennis offered. "Back when I first started planning this."

"What is "this" Ennis, what is your plan?"

"Well, but Mom, it's to be a surprise." he answered.

"Oh, it is, believe me. Think about how much you can tell me without ruining the surprise, dear. Help me know what to pack, what to take along. Okay?"

Before lunch, Ennis had been able to tell Mom that there would be some travel, so wear comfortable clothes and walking shoes. Something casual for visiting would be helpful; there would be a party, so plan for a dress or whatever, and there would be church on Sunday before returning to Lightning Flat. That's all he would divulge. When he walked away from that conversation, Ennis was feeling pretty smug.

They left the ranch after breakfast on Friday, and headed southwest in John's truck, since it was the most comfortable. Claire was glued to the side window, looking at the scenery as they drove. She was a lifelong resident of this area, but had never looked at it with fresh eyes. She'd never looked at it as a person who knew she was leaving it behind.

She couldn't believe the changes that had taken place in her life since last May, a year ago. It was all triggered of course, by John's stroke on May 9th, then Jack came to help out. Ennis followed, to give a hand on weekends, Bobby came, the girls, all the revelations that Walter had made, then John getting his priorities straightened out, reclaiming her as his wife, and trying to make amends to Jack, getting some counseling, and now this . . she could barely take it all in.

And not long ago they'd decided to move away. Claire knew it would all be fine. She had faith in her men, and her family to work out whatever was needed. As she dozed in the warm sun shining through the window, Claire felt like the luckiest woman in the world.

The truck slowed as Ennis put on the turn signal to pull into a gas station just west of Gillette. He advised Claire and John to get out of the truck, walk around a bit as it would be a long day of traveling. He had gotten somewhat used to this highway, and the daylong drive. He knew of a scenic overlook where he planned to stop for lunch. They packed plenty, and if he gauged it right, they'd be about there when everyone was getting hungry.

As they were eating lunch a little past noon, Claire looked up to the mountains on either side of her and marveled at the beauty of her home state. She'd never lived anywhere else, but realized at this moment, just how lovely it really was. For a moment, she wondered if she would suffer home sickness when they left, but decided not. All the important parts of her life were going with her, or would be even closer than before.

They packed up their lunch wrappings, and she deposited it all in a trash can. The men wandered off behind a set of strategically placed bushes, then came back momentarily, brushing off their pants, and straightening their shirts. "Ready?" said Ennis, as he climbed into the driver's seat of John's truck one more time.

"I'm thinking of visiting your bushes, too." declared Claire, a bit sheepishly. Okay, she'd led a sheltered life, but she did grow up on a ranch, so she knew how to pee behind a bush. Today she was grateful that she was wearing a longish skirt, because she was modest enough to worry about being exposed out in the open, even though Jack went with her to stand guard. She found that her biggest challenge was to not pee on her own shoes! She came out laughing, but dry.

When they turned south at Worland, Claire began to be more sure of where they were headed. "Are you taking me to Riverton, Ennis?!" she asked.

"Yes, I am Mom. Is that all right?"

"Will I see Jenny and Junior, son?"

"Well, that might be arranged; would you like that?" grinned Ennis.

Closer they got, the more Claire bounced around, her head swiveling left and right. When they saw the city limits sign, she squealed. Then continued surveying as they drove. "It's bigger than I thought, Ennis."

At last, Ennis turned left off of E. Main Street onto Federal Boulevard, and pulled into the Jackpine Motel. "Nice name, Cowboy!" whooped Jack, who never thought he would EVER be pulling into a motel with Ennis and his very own parents!

"I picked it special, I hope it's nice cause I really did just pick it for it's name." admitted Ennis. He stopped in front of the office, and went in alone, identifying himself and getting the two room keys for the rooms he had reserved. While there, he checked on the party room he'd asked for. The clerk told him everything was in order, and someone had already called to see what time they could get in tomorrow morning to decorate it.

"That would be my daughter, it's a surprise for Mom for Mother's Day." He beamed.

"I see", smiled the clerk. "Hope you and your wife have a lovely time while you're staying with us."

Ennis blinked, then wandered out, looking confused. He stopped, turned around and said, "Oh, I meant it's for my Mother-in-law, I call her mom."

"I see", smiled the clerk again. "Thank you."

Getting no satisfaction out of this exchange, Ennis just walked out to the truck and got in, driving around to the side where #19 and #21 were located, side by side. He had Claire check out both rooms before choosing which one she wanted. Since they were identical and both had the same view, she picked based on her favorite number, 19. And so it was decided.

Ennis checked his watch, told everyone they had an hour and a half to rest, get freshened up, and then they'd go eat somewhere.

He refreshed himself with a hot shower, put on clean boxers and lay on the bed farthest from the door. Jack did the same. When he reached over to put his arm over Ennis' waist, he found him stiff as a board, lying there all tense, not resting one bit. Jack raised his head to look at Ennis who was gnawing on a hangnail.

"I ain't getting any, till this party comes off without a hitch, am I?"

"Huh?"

"Do you want me to just hold you?"

"Sure, okay."

Jack wrapped himself around Ennis; tried snuggling, tried putting his nose against Ennis' neck. "Jesus H. Christ, Ennis! You gotta relax, let me in, okay?"

"Maybe this ain't such a good idea, Jack." And at that, he got up and began pacing around the room. As long as he'd been driving he was working toward the goal, but as soon as his body stopped moving, his mind took over and it was whirling.

"What are you doing, Ennis? Act like you're going to have a nervous breakdown, or else you're gonna give birth to a baby elephant!"

" The fuck you talking about?"

" I'm talking about you. You haven't said two words to me this whole day, and when I get you alone, you clam up worse than ever, Ennis."

"Well, I got lots a things on my mind, Jack. You know that! Whatta you want from me?"

"I want you to be here with me, Ennis. Right here, right now, in this motel room. Not off somewhere else in your mind, doing god knows what!"

"Well, this party is important, Jack. It's the biggest thing I've ever planned on my own in my whole life, you ever think about that?"

"Yeah, I've thought about that plenty, Ennis. Plenty. And what I want to know, is WHY? Why are you planning it on your own? Why haven't you shared this with me? She's not even YOUR mother, she's MINE!"

Jack's words struck Ennis right across the face. He sat down with a thump on the other bed, and just stared at Jack with wide eyes.

"she is so."

Tears of hurt and exhaustion puddled up on his lower lids. Only one ran over and streaked down his cheek, and he brushed it away angrily with the back of his hand. "she is so my mother too. she said she was, and she is. Don't you try an' ruin this for me, Jack."

Jack felt like a heel, and he came to Ennis with his apology and regret written across his face. He sat on the bed next to Ennis, reached out and put his arm around him. "I'm sorry Ennis, I sure didn't mean that. You know I didn't mean to be so selfish with you. I'm just hurt at being left out of all this."

"You ain't bein' left out, Jack! I been keepin' things from you, cause the surprise is for you, too!"

"Me?"

"I didn't know you was feelin' like this, bud. I've gone about this all the wrong way. I've screwed up everything."

"You're doing fine, Ennis. You'll see. It will all work out, and all your hard work will pay off. I'll be a little bit more patient, too."

Jack stood up and pulled Ennis with him, they went back to the bed that had been turned down. They got in bed, Jack spooned up behind Ennis and they pulled the covers up, clear up over their shoulders. Ennis turned off the bedside lamp, and Jack asked him, "you need to set an alarm?"

"Naw, doubt I'll sleep anyway."

The next thing they knew, John was knocking on their door. "You ready for dinner in there? Your guests are gettin' kinda hungry."

Jack opened the door, and invited his dad inside. "We're running a little late, Ennis was having some trouble unwinding, so it took a while to get to sleep. I think we got everything sorted out now."

John said, "Eewww, Jack. You know I don't want to hear any of the gorey details."

Wide-eyed, Jack said "What? OH NO, that's not what I meant, good god, dad. The truth is, we had to snap at each other a bit, get our ducks in a row, and then we could rest, but not before!"

"Hhmmmm, sounds like every other married couple I know."

"Exactly."

Just then they heard the shower shut off, so Jack shuttled his dad out the door. "We'll be over directly, be thinking about what you want for supper."

Jack went into the steamy bathroom, turned the water back on, and stepped into the tub, just long enough to run a quick soapy washcloth over his body, and let the steam get to his face and beard. He shaved in two minutes flat, and then came out to the relatively cool bedroom to dress.

Ennis looked better, although not thoroughly rested. He would do. Oh god yes, he would do. His hair was still wet, his curls all tight dark ringlets, but tousled from the towel. Jack loved this look the best, but his parents were waiting. He turned his back to Ennis as he dressed, but his mind could still see him, all long, strong muscles, and firm ass. Shit. Why did he have to think about Ennis' firm ass? They'll never get out of here as long as he keeps this up. Speaking of keeping this up, he was up all right. Shit!

Jack was slamming things around, looking for what was right beneath his very nose, but in such a state of arousal, he couldn't think straight.

"I'm going on over now. You need some time with me not here."

Jack guessed correctly that Ennis had seen him casting those longing looks at him.

When Jack walked next door to his parents' room, the door was open. Ennis was sitting beside Mama, looking at the tv remote control thing that had her fascinated. "See Ennis, you push the red button on this little dealy and the tv comes on all by itself, and you don't even have to get up and walk across the room. Push this one, and the sound goes higher, the opposite one, the sound goes lower." Ennis so enjoyed her excitement, he didn't tell her he'd had a remote just like it for several years.

Their heads were bent together as they studied this new fangled gadget, and Jack had to choke back the love that bowled him over. These two people were tops in his world, and he felt blessed, so blessed.

Eventually, he regained his voice, "Where's a workin man to get a decent night's supper 'round here?" he parodied.

Mama and Ennis looked at each other. "Oh, Johnny-Come-Lately is in a hurry to eat, now. Wonder where he was twenty minutes ago?"

Ennis laughed, "let's get outa here, okay?"

They walked across Federal to the intersection, and studied their choices down Main Street. "What's everyone want?" asked Ennis.

"Steak, fish, fast food, sandwiches, or good ol' American Diner Food at the Bus Station? They got some good apple pie."

Claire said, "I like the looks of that "Main Street Café" down the block. Bet they'll have a variety, and we can each get what we want." So that's just what they did. It was quiet at this late hour, most of the regulars having eaten an early dinner. They asked for and got the large round table.

Claire mentioned in a general way, that she and John had both spent their entire lives in the same northeastern Wyoming area, Crook County. Never knew any place else. Most of their friends were the same way.

Once they had their iced teas and coffee, Claire asked Ennis "Were you born and raised here in Riverton, Ennis?"

"Oh no, Mom. I was born over against the Utah border, down in Sage. Stayed there till my folks was gone. Me and KE lit out, looking for jobs, till he got married. Then I found Riverton just before I took the job up on Brokeback, twenty-one years ago.

They all quieted as the young waitress tried to remember who ordered what, and to get all the side dishes with the right order.

Each person was given the right food, and each had a clean napkin and proper flatware. "Thank you very much" said Claire as the girl whose tag declared "Hello my Name is Brenda", looked down at them, seemed satisfied she had it right, and said "Y'all enjoy your meal, now."

The men just grunted their agreement with what Claire said, but the girl didn't take any offense. She was used to it.

"Since you lived here the longest, and it's where you raised your girls, I suppose this is where you think of when you say 'home', am I right, Ennis?"

Ennis did not raise his eyes from his roast beef and mashed potatoes, for seemingly, an eternity. He knew Mom was just being pleasant, and making conversation. But a word like Home, was not something to ever be taken lightly with Ennis.

The tops of his ears got pink, Jack noticed, but Ennis appeared calm when he finally spoke, and he was shaking his head 'no'. "Well, Mom. To tell you the truth, it ain't exactly that way. And it never has been. To me, wherever Jack is, that's home. And now you, too. I never felt at home, otherwise, since the accident that made us kids orphans."

No one could eat another bite. The waitress noticed they were not eating and came over to the table. "Everything all right, here? You need me to get you something else?"

No one looked up to meet Brenda's eyes, but Claire said, "could I please have another glass of water?" and there were several "me too's" that followed.

Jack reached over and took Ennis' hand, and squeezed. Mom just sat there, quietly. When Jack saw a tear drop into her plate, he reached out his left hand and took her right.

John put his hand up on Ennis' shoulder, and gripped him, showing his support and approval. Seeing this, Claire took her husband's free hand and held it in her lap.

Still no one spoke for an eternity, and before long, they each had a sweating glass of cool water on the table in front of them. They hadn't seen them arrive, but gratefully grabbed them. Jack ran his across his forehead, before drinking it down like a parched man.

Ennis held his water glass to his cheeks, one then the other, before beginning to sip, still keeping his eyes down on his plate.

Claire sipped her water, then said "I can't stand this." And so saying, she got up and went around to Ennis' chair. He turned in his seat to accept her hug, and put his arms around her waist. She lay her cheek on his head. Still holding him, she said "You ain't never got to be away from home no more, my boy. You are ours and we are your family."

He kissed what was closest to him, her arm, and said "I know that. You've made me feel welcome and loved from the first. I want you to know how much that means to me, Mom. It means the world to me, it means everything."

Brenda looked up from her Civics homework, to see that these folks were still feeling emotional. Probably just came from a funeral or something, she thought. And she was grateful that the café had remained quiet and relatively empty for them. She began to read page 583 over again, her Final would be on Monday.

She gave them about 5 more minutes, then loaded up a tray with fresh cups of hot coffee, and new iced teas. She walked to the table, and exchanged the new drinks with the cold coffees and watery teas. And went away again.

"Well, I guess we're being a mite obvious here, aren't we? Even the little waitress is on to us." joked Claire. She squeezed Ennis' shoulders one more time, took his chin and made him look at her.

"You are so brave, Ennis. Thank you for telling us that."

"I sure never expected to ever get the chance to say this, ever again, but, Happy Mother's Day, Mom." And he smiled wide, clear up into his eyes, as he looked at her. She smiled back, and whispered "thank you, son." She kissed his cheek. Ennis got up and walked her back to her place, then helped push in her chair.

As he sat back down, he told them all, "Eat up folks, breakfast is a long ways away."

Little by little, they began to eat their meals once again, and eventually to talk about general topics and the upcoming party. After a bit, Brenda brought the coffee pot and the tea pitcher over for refills, and things got back to normal. 'Course their food was cold, but they didn't even notice.

Tbc in Chapter 44


	44. Chapter 44

A Better Idea - Chapter 44

Mother's Day, 1984 – The Party

This picks up following The Main St Café scene in Chapter 43.

Genre: BBM

Pairing: Ennis + Jack 4 Ever

Disclaimer: I created the OC's but not the O/S characters. They belong solely to the author, Annie Proulx, with some tweaking by Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana. No money is being made, nor fame and fortune of any kind.

Disclaimer #2: This story is unbeta'd so you have no one to blame but me for errors or controversy.

Rating: The basic premise of ABI is that two men love each other. If you don't like m/m slash, you won't like ABI either.

A/N #1 - I adore reading other author's fics, and they inspire me to continue to write. But this story, this ABI Universe is my original work. Any similarities, yadda, yadda, coincidence.

A/N #2 - I'm not having much luck with formatting this as far as Bold, Song Title underlining, and pictures. They won't go where I need them. May have to put them at the end. Sorry it isn't coming out like the Word document. Hope it's not too much of an aggravation.

A/N #3 - I accidentally stole a line from Driving Miss Daisy, HAVE FUN LOOKING FOR IT!

Feedback: You bet. I hope you like it.

Chapter 44 Mother's Day – The Party

As they strolled up and down both sides of Main Street, enjoying the evening air, Claire took Jack's arm, and Ennis and John walked behind them.

"Well, that was quite something." offered John, by way of an opening.

Ennis stopped on the sidewalk and stared at him, "I didn't plan that, if that's what you're thinkin', old man."

"Now, don't get your dander up, Del Mar! I was just thinking out loud. Don't believe you could have given her anything she would have loved better. No sirree, nothing better than to have another son. . . to have you for a son, specifically."

"You really think so, dad?" Ennis beamed.

"I know so. Don't you see how she looks on you? And on you and Jack when you two're together? Puts her in heaven, it does."

Ennis just swallowed, and didn't say a word, though John saw him relax his shoulders, like all the fight had gone out of him.

After a time of strolling in companionable silence John resumed the conversation by asking "Now what's this building up the way there, Ennis?" pointing up the street a bit.

"That's the main Post Office for Riverton. Nice old building, beautiful woodwork inside, and the finest mural you ever wanta see. Painted back in 1942, it was, before Jack 'n me was even born. Matter of fact, it's the only mural I've ever laid eyes on, but there's something about it that draws me in, right into the picture. It's the strangest feeling. I'll bring you both over here tomorrow morning. We have some free time, and I'll show

you around. How's that sound?"

Meanwhile, Jack and his mama were checking out the sights, looking in shop windows and just taking it easy in the evening air.

But when Jack opened his mouth to speak, he shocked Claire out of her peaceful musing. "Must be a big change having a thoughtful son, after all a this time."

"What?!" exclaimed Claire

"Oh, Ennis is so good about showing you how much he appreciates you, not like me. Gone for more years than I can count. Taking you for granted all this time."

"You hush that kinda talk right now, Jack Twist. You are my son, you've always shown me that you appreciated me, and loved me. It was just your daddy you were avoiding back then, I know that."

"You knew? Even when I didn't write, or call for months on end, you knew I was thinking about ya?"

"Jack, 'course I did. I'm your mama. Tell you what, one of my fondest memories, is how you always yelled when you went out the door, "I love you, mama!" And even if you hadn't said it every time, I always knew it son!"

"Well good, I'm glad you knew. It's just that . . ."

"Yes, Ennis is precious the way he looks after me, him being without a mother all these years, it shows in his face, in everything he does. But do you think for one minute that I didn't know that you came back to the ranch every year for a week to help your daddy. . . . even when you were rodeoing, or when you lived in Texas, you think I didn't know that you were doing it for me? You think I didn't know you worried about me being here with him, the way he was?"

"Didn't know I was so transparent."

"Well, I'm your mama, you are plenty transparent to me, Jack. And a finer, more loving son, I could never have wished for."

"Most folks can't see that in me at all, mama. They think I'm selfish and . . ."

"I doubt that it's most folks, Jack. Maybe some do, but they just don't know you. They're not the ones who count, anyway son. You think a fine man like Ennis Del Mar would love you like crazy as he does, if you were less than I've said? Ennis has very high standards, in case you hadn't noticed it."

Jack grinned, and looked at his mother. "You're a doodle, mama!"

Claire smiled to herself as she and her son walked on down the street, Ennis and John falling farther and farther behind, talking about god-knows-what.

"So you think Ennis loves me like crazy, huh mama?"

"Are you fishing for assurances, or worms? You might be fishin' the wrong part o' the lake, young man!"

"That's okay, Mama, I know he does. I love him like crazy too, always have, always will. I'm just tickled somebody else besides me can see it too. He ain't the talkinest man I ever met."

Claire just about choked on her laughter, but she tried to cover it up. Didn't want to feel she was being disloyal to Ennis in any way.

The walk progressed with both of them quietly enjoying their own thoughts, and this new adventure of being in a town together for a celebration.

When they had walked out the kinks from that long drive today, and felt peace descend on them at last, they noted that the moon had risen in a sky that looked clear indicating a fine day tomorrow. The foursome said their good-nights at their doors.

"What time you want to get up in the morning? We can go to breakfast at that same café if you like. Think they open at six." Ennis informed the group. "Or you can sleep in, it's totally up to you."

"If you don't knock on our door by 6:30, we'll knock on yours. How's that?" Claire said as she kissed each of her boys good night.

"That's a deal! You know you can dial 0 on the phone, and get a wake up call, don't you?"

"The Operator will call and wake us up?" asked John incredulously.

"Yeah, the Motel operator, up at the front desk. They offer that service for free if you want it. Well, good night, see you in the morning."

"continuity break"

"Get your ass in this bed, Del Mar! Your man is waitin' and he ain't the patient type!"

Ennis peeked his head out of the bathroom, toothbrush sticking out of the side of his mouth, foam dripping . . . "Whuh?"

"Ooooh, that's a sexy look, Ennis."

"Are you crazy, Twist?"

"Yeah, about you. And mama said you was crazy about me, too!"

Ennis was toweling off the foam and the wet, as he walked shirtless, back into the bedroom. "What're you on about? Mom said WHAT?"

Jack reached for Ennis' belt buckle and proceeded to undo it, and pull the jeans and underwear off in one tug, then had to stop to get the boots off first. He knew he shouldn't get in such a hurry, but he just couldn't help himself where Ennis was concerned.

They'd had too damn few opportunities over the years to be within reach of the other, makin' up for it now. You bet.

When Ennis' cock sprung free, Jack just about swallowed his tongue in his haste to get to it. The noises that were coming out of Jack's mouth and throat, turned Ennis into a heated missile, ready to come too soon, too soon.

Jack let go for a second, and Ennis hated the coolness that took over without Jack's mouth on him. It was just for a second though, the time it took Jack to look up at Ennis and say, "Come for me, baby. Come for me, Ennis." And it was all over but the shoutin'.

Neither was aware of the time passing, only of warm, wet and knowing touches to all the right places, getting harder and faster as their intensity grew. When both were sated, satisfied and well fucked, they lay still and sticky in each other's arms to cool down. "You think they heard?"

"Shit, I don't know. I hope not. But nothin' we can do about it now, is there?"

Just then, there was a muffled noise from next door, and then a sound like a headboard hitting the common wall. And then quiet.

Jack and Ennis looked at each other, "what the fuck?" and then both bust out laughing. "guess it don't matter at all, now." Ennis got up to get a warm, wet wash cloth and a towel. He cleaned himself off, then Jack, kissing all the spots he was washing, as if he was blessing this man, and indeed he was, blessing his man.

Finally, a restful night's sleep. Ennis deserved it and he earned it.

"continuity break"

He woke around 5:00 a.m. and got busy scribbling on his legal pad.

His daughter was awake already too. Jenny was in charge of decorating the hall. She wasn't planning to begin that work until nine o'clock; that's the earliest they would give her the key and access to the party room. She knew they must all be in town already, and she wanted to see her Gran and Poppa.

She pulled on her jeans, tee shirt and sandals and quietly left the house while her mother and everyone else was still abed. She headed out into the cool morning, humming as she crossed 18th Street.

The desk clerk at the Jackpine Motel told her that her family was in #19 and #21. Getting no response to her knocks, she directed her feet down Main Street and found them at breakfast at the first place she looked.

During the all-round hugs, Gran whispered in Jenny's ear that she needed her help with something. It was a secret. But she needed a florist, or someone willing to let her cut some yellow roses.

Jenny said, "we'll talk to mama about this."

Lureen, Drew, Irene, Bruce and Bobby were breakfasting north of town at the Denny's. They'd come into Riverton yesterday evening as well, and were here to honor Bobby's Gran, for all she'd come to mean to him. Truth was, he already missed her, and he'd only been gone a week or so. Was taking his Spring Break up to his Gramma Newsome's to check out the Campus of CU, and look into their pre-vet-med curriculum.

Bobby had finally gotten that tutor in the beginning of his senior year, and they were at a loss as to how to challenge him given the limited class offerings. Then on his own, he'd found a Vet he could apprentice to on Saturday mornings and Wednesday evenings. His experience with Doc Stanley had reinforced his desire to work with animals, and his comfort level with the academic side of this pursuit increased by leaps and bounds. Doc had been a mentor to another student a couple years ahead of Bobby, and he knew the way to let the boy grow in confidence and ability was to give him hands-on experience as often as possible. Bobby was hoping for a full-time assistant job with a veterinarian this summer for more experience, and to earn his own spending money.

Bobby was watching the time; he was anxious to get over to the hotel party room, Jenny would be there waiting for him and the others to decorate the room. As it happened, Junior and Kurt gave them a hand, and the previously bare room was soon looking festive. They had crepe paper streamers, ribbons and balloons. The florist would deliver the corsages at noon.

"continuity break"

While the young folk were decorating, Ennis made good on his offer to take Mom and dad to see the Riverton Post Office and to point out the mural that was so compelling to him. Jack had not seen it either, of course. He innocently blurted out his thoughts the moment he laid eyes on it. "Jesus, it's us, Ennis."

"What're you goin' on about, Jack? We wasn't even born when this mural was painted back in '42. "

"I know we wasn't, but how can this be any clearer? They're herding and caring for the sheep. One's tall, blond and wearing his tan hat and coat.

The other's wearing my black hat and my green lambswool lined coat. Holy shit! You've always known about this mural, Ennis?"

(Unable to paste picture here - see end)

"Well, no. I mean yes. Guess I seen it the first day I came into Riverton cause Alma sent me over here to talk to her dad about a job board. Only I didn't pay any attention to it, all I cared about after Mr. Beers showed me the letter, was contacting the Farm and Ranch Employment about getting that job up on Brokeback for the summer. I was almost dead broke. Mr. Beers, he was a good man, Jack. It's because a him that we met; you and me, I mean. But um . . .it was cause a him that I married Alma too."

They each looked back up at the mural while Mom walked up to the plaque to see who painted this mural, and when. 'Ennis was right', she thought, '1942. The artist is George Vander Sluis, don't think I ever heard of him. Didn't know either, that Wyoming post offices had murals in them.'

Ennis continued, "It was only after we came back down from that mountain that this mural started meaning something to me, pulling me in, kinda like. But to tell you the truth, Jack, looking at it pained me, gave me gut cramps likely as not, so I didn't really want to look at it that much."

"Yeah, well I can see why, Cowboy. It's all right now though, ain't it?"

"You bet, now I think it's beautiful, and amazing! Now I want everyone to see it. Wish we had us a picture of you and me back then; of our 19 year old selves. "

"As long as either one of us is alive, we'll have those memories, Ennis. Far as I can tell, you ain't changed in twenty years, look as good to me now Cowboy, as you did back then."

"Yeah, Jack, I know just what you mean. You ain't changed in my eyes, you only get better day by day."

John was taking it all in and not saying much, but he was stunned that a piece of art could mean so much to so many members of his family. He planned to ask Jenny if she ever noticed this, or if it meant anything special to her now that she was grown and she had learned the history of her dad and Jack. Maybe Junior had seen it and thought of it too, he would ask her. This was powerful.

"continuity break"

They reluctantly left the post office, crossed the street, and stepped back in to the Main Street Café. Brenda was on duty by this time. She smiled and beckoned them to the same round table they'd shared the first time she saw them. Was that just yesterday? Goodness. How time flies.

"Coffee, all around?" she asked.

"No, too warm for coffee just now. Ice tea for me, please Brenda." And a chorus of me too's followed. When she returned with their drinks, she brought four menus, but they were unsure about food, so they needed a minute. They wanted a bite to eat, but knew that there would be party food very soon. They decided on a couple of club sandwiches, shared amongst the four of them.

Refreshed and replenished, they sat around the table sipping more iced tea while they made their plan. Claire and John would go back to the motel, rest in their room and get ready for the party. Jack and Ennis would knock on their door at 2 o'clock sharp to escort them over.

Ennis would like to rest too, he'd been up since before dawn, but he didn't know if he could. This party planning was harder than it looked, he thought. 'I just hope it comes off like I planned, and that Mom has a good time.'

They went to the party room, but Ennis wouldn't let Jack in, he didn't want him to see Bobby yet, or start asking questions about who would be there. Jack walked back to their room and began polishing his and Ennis' boots for the party. Ennis came in, admired his work and gave him a big hug. Ennis pulled Jack with him, they lay down on the bed. Jack was all wrapped up in Ennis' long arms, while Ennis nuzzled the back of Jack's very male neck with the dark hairs that tickled his nose. They had about twenty minutes before it was time to pick up the parents. "See, this is what folks do who don't have animals to feed, and a ranch to run." Ennis said.

"What, they jump into bed every time they pass one?"

"Well, they do if they got somebody like you to snuggle with, yeah."

Jack chuckled so, he shook the bed.

"Everything all set for the party?" asked Jack.

"Yeah, good as I can think of, I'm sure there's something I'm forgetting, but I don't know what it might be."

"I know what you've forgotten, Ennis, and I can help you with it, too."

"Oh yeah, what's that, bud?"

"You forgot to hire me to play the harmonica. Lucky for you I brought mine along."

That made Ennis smile, and squeeze Jack even more. "You try it and I'll have you arrested for disturbing the peace, this is a decent law-abiding town, you know."

They both closed their eyes for about five minutes, but could not banish the smiles from their faces. Then it was time to get up, brush teeth, freshen up a bit and go next door to begin the festivities.

"continuity break"

At last 2:00 came and Claire was dressed and waiting for her sons to walk her over to the party. As they walked, she clung to Ennis' arm, stating "I've never had anything like this happen to me before, son. Hope I don't faint, or anything."

"Oh, you'll be fine, Mom. I'm the one who might faint. But really, this is nothing. It's just a little bitty part of what you deserve, not near what I'd like to do for you."

She clapped her hands with glee, when she saw the room. Streamers and balloons of pink, violet and green, festooned the hall, and the tables had been draped with soft white paper. Each table held one cream colored candle in a hurricane lamp, laced with the same colors of ribbon. The crepe paper, balloons and ribbons all tied in with each other in that same color scheme. 'How did that Jenny know my favorite colors?', she wondered. She then realized that they'd spent the previous summer together, day after day, and special occasions since. She has picked up on many, many things. 'Good girl.'

Claire was now in her place of honor. Her first surprise was Bobby walking in by himself, looking so much like his dad that it took her breath away; he greeted her affectionately and then returned to the door. He escorted his mother and grandmother in, and sat them at the head table with Gran. The women all nodded at each other, then Lureen took hold of her former mother-in-law's hand. They all smiled in anticipation and watched the door to see what would happen next.

Soon Jenny and Junior walked in, hugged Gran, kissed her on the cheek and then went to the door to escort Alma in. They sat her at the head table as well, on the other side of Gran. She didn't have time to become really uncomfortable because Lureen began talking with her right away, as did Irene and Gran.

Ennis had ordered a corsage for each of the mothers' present.

Mom, of course, Alma, Lureen and Irene. He had let the florist advise him, and not knowing what color the ladies would wear, he settled for a cream color carnation with thin violet and green ribbons.

Jenny had taken those as her color scheme, and everything looked beautiful together.

Jack approached Mama, kissed her and asked if he might pin on her corsage, and she agreed.

Bobby approached Alma, greeted her warmly and asked if he might pin on her corsage. Shyly, she agreed. Privately, she wished her parents could have been here to see Ennis proving himself to be the good man they'd always thought he was. But her sister, Lily, had her first baby yesterday and they'd gone to Cheyenne to be with her and her husband.

Ennis went to Lureen and did the same. Nothing shy about her response. She said yes, then when he had the flower secured, she stood up and hugged him tightly. It meant a lot to Ennis, but he blushed anyway.

By this time, Jack had gone to Irene, his former mother-in-law and had pinned her corsage on the lapel of her suit. She was wearing a pantsuit, and hoped it was alright. She soon found out that anything goes at this type of family party. A thought flashed through her mind of how L.D. would have protested a thing like this party, would not have come and would not have allowed her to either. She quickly banished that memory and determined to have herself a good time today, with this new and ever growing family.

The men were hanging in the background and acting kinda edgy around so many women and so many flowers. Ennis decided it was time to get this show on the road, so he took center stage in the room and raised his voice.

"All you who are not mothers, please go out to the other room and bring in everyone else, all the family and friends of the family."

In no particular order, came Monroe and Alma's two youngest, both boys; Kurt Rawlins, Junior's fiancé and his sister and brother-in-law; Herman Stodemeir and his aunt Greta Stodemeir, Drew, Lureen's new friend; and yes, Bruce, Irene's friend. He was still around.

"Now while I still have the ladies together at the Head Table, let's all give them a nice round of applause." Ennis paused to let that happen, and there was an enthusiastic, prolonged homage to the women at that honored table.

"Welcome to everyone who has come to celebrate Mother's Day with us today. As you may or may not know, since I lost my mother at such a young age, I am especially fond of, and respect anyone who can be a good mother. We have four such women here today. They have meant the world to Jack and me, and made our lives possible, and bearable, and much of the time, happy. We won't go into the times they terrified us." He smiled and everyone laughed.

"I give a special salute to my new Mom, Claire Twist, Jack's mother, who has taken me in and welcomed me into her family." At this time, Ennis was almost choking, but he got it all out plainly. He walked to the front table, took her hand and kissed it while looking into her eyes, so she could see that he meant every word of it.

Turning toward the food tables, he said "Okay folks . . "

But behind him, Claire had risen, and she said "Ennis, Wait, we have one more mother to be honored who could not be with us today. Jenny?"

Jenny walked toward her daddy carrying a cake with "Happy Mother's Day Elly" written in bright yellow letters on white icing, and Bobby followed her carrying a vase of 12 yellow roses. Ennis swallowed, he didn't know where to look or what to do.

"This day would not have been complete without acknowledging the very fine, strong woman who gave birth to Ennis del Mar, and loved him and raised him until he was 13. She was taken away from him too soon. Elnora Rose McCain Del Mar, we will never let your memory fade." And Claire sat down to thunderous applause from the little crowd.

Ennis just stood there, the reins having been effectively stripped from him, he used his right hand to rub each eye once, and then he braced himself for the rest of the party.

Then while most of the folks stood in little groups and talked among themselves, each of the ladies at the head table, opened the gift that was placed in front of them.

Ennis had done this one more thing that he hoped would be well received. He had an old black and white snapshot blown up to 5 x 7 and put in a white frame with a black mat trimmed in white for mom for Mother's Day. It was a photo of her and baby Jack when he was nearly a year old. He was holding onto a chair and reaching out, getting ready to take his first steps to his mother. She was reaching both arms out to him to catch him if he should fall.

Claire smiled through her tears when she saw the picture of herself as a young mother with her lively little boy. "Where? . . .How? . . .thank you, Ennis."

Ennis had immediately loved the picture when he first saw it. It showed Jack's little face, how excited and proud he was of himself, he was going to let go of that chair, and he'd be walking like a big boy. To Ennis, that spirit of Jack's to try something new and difficult is what attracted him to Jack in the first place.

Whereas Ennis was the type to scope out a situation, figure the safest way to get what he needed, Jack would just "go for it" if he wanted it. Ennis, for the one millionth time, thanked God or whoever controlled such things, that Jack had wanted him, and had gone for it with everything he had inside him.

Each of the women received the same style gift, only the photographs were different. He had a lot of helpers to swipe all these special snapshots, it was a team effort.

Alma got two picture frames, one with the two girls, and another of her and her boys. She was so touched, all this was totally unexpected. Jenny and Junior were proud of their slight of hand, to find the pictures and get them out of Alma's stash undetected. Ennis had had them copied in black and white. The frames were just like Mom's. Of course, the original prints were returned, as they were not damaged in the process of copying them.

Lureen received a picture of her and Bobby when he was a baby, she was giving him a bath in a plastic tub, and he was splashing water everywhere with his yellow ducky. Lureen knew the duck was yellow, but it was all black and white in the photo. She wasn't really surprised that she got a picture, because she'd been asked to get hold of one of herself with her mother, so she kinda figured it out. Still it was a lovely gesture, and it was interesting to see which photo Bobby would choose, she was sure it was one that would mean a lot to him. And she couldn't deny it was a beautiful result.

Lureen peeked at her mother, to see her reaction to the photo she had chosen for Ennis' gift. The snapshot was of Lureen at about two. Irene had sat her up on her first horse, and the little girl was dressed in riding clothes. Irene's hair was long and auburn, and she was beautiful. Her eyes did not stray from her daughter. It was the rare picture where L.D. did not inject himself into the center of things. But just this once, it was mother and daughter alone, which was why it was so special to Lureen. She noted that Irene wiped a tear, just a bit, but was smiling proudly. Lureen took a deep breath, and wished her own mother a Happy Mother's Day.

The women were asked to turn their photos around so everyone could see them; then the folks all lined up for the delicious smelling buffet that was stretched across the back wall. The honorees were put at the head of the line, and told that once they filled their plates, they should find their picture on a table, and that would be their table. Everyone who wanted to sit with them could then find them and join them with their own full plate.

"Bobby, will you place the photographs on the tables please, son? Wherever you wish will be fine. If you want to, you can help the ladies find their tables, and carry any items they need help with."

Ennis had thought to have music, but just had a tape of old songs that were popular when Mom was a young girl. She liked the fact that he put so much thought into it, and liked the music from the time of the long ago war.

Oh don't sit under the apple tree

With anyone else but me

Anyone else but me

No, no, no, don't sit under the apple tree

With anyone else but me

Till I come marching home

Ennis looked over and saw John singing to Claire when the first song came on. It swept them both back to the time they were young. He poked Jack in the side and nodded his head at them so Jack would see this too.

All the little kids got into the act when the next song came on. It was "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B". No one could sit still with that song playing such a lively cadence. They marched and twirled and danced till they all fell down, which was what they'd hoped for.

After a while however, Jenny, Bobby and the other young people began to moan and groan when the old songs came on, so Claire suggested they turn off the music. "We've loved it Ennis, but we are driving the kids crazy. We don't mind, really!"

Jenny flushed, but told the truth. "Well, dad, we saw all the music you brought and so we brought our own. Can we play it, can we, dad?"

Ennis gave in about the music. Then he and Jack managed to mingle, to get to every table and sit awhile, and visit with or meet for the first time, everyone at the party. Everyone eventually moved from table to table to meet and talk and just enjoy the celebration.

Lureen and Irene introduced their gentlemen friends, Drew and Bruce to Jack and Ennis, who had ended up at the same table at the same time, quite by accident. After the initial, "what do you do?" types of getting acquainted questions, the men seemed to hit it off just fine with each other.

Bruce told Ennis, "I thought what you've planned here today was just so very thoughtful. I know these gals will never forget it."

"Thanks, Bruce, I hope you're right. We owe them all so much."

Claire was in all her glory. She not only had two sons now, she had three new grandchildren. Well, Bobby always was her grandson, but she had not seen him before a year ago, so he feels as new as Jenny and Junior. And Lureen and Alma were so very different from each other, but just so precious and interesting, if things were different, she'd be happy to have them as daughters-in-law. 'But the relationships are just fine the way they are now. I like how all this worked out', she thought.

Monroe looked at Alma Jean or AJ as he called her, and said "Your husband seems like a really nice guy, and I believe he's happier than I've ever seen him."

"Well, I hope you are." she replied.

"No, no I mean Ennis. You're teasing me."

"Yes, buttercup, I'm teasing you. But I agree with everything you've said. I sure never thought I'd like him again, or that I could stand to be in the same room as him. And here we are celebrating family occasions together like this. It takes the pressure off, don't you think? 'S a lot easier on the girls too, if we can be friends."

"I like that he admits what a wonderful mother my wife is." stated Monroe.

"Yeah, I like that too, even though he never denied it. Ennis and I only had one issue between us, and that was that he married me knowing he already loved Jack Twist. I think we was both so young that he didn't know what was the right thing to do, he was just trying his best, and so was I."

"Well, I for one am very happy he chose someone else. Otherwise you'd still be married to him, and I'd still have a broken heart."

Alma kissed her Monroe, and then went to check on her boys. She was very happy things had turned out like this too. Monroe was a good man, stable, and he loved her with all his heart. She never had to worry or wonder who took first place with him, like she had with Ennis.

Everyone had the choice of either strawberry shortcake, or devil's food cake; that's what Ennis had ordered. But when he went to the dessert table, his mother's cake was there along with the other desserts. The cut glass flower vase holding the yellow roses had a card leaning against it, which read:

Happy Mother's Day, Elly Del Mar

from

your son, Ennis and his extended family

For the first time in his life, Ennis could think of his mother without overriding sadness. He was celebrating her today too.

He turned to the room in general and called loudly, "Looks like we got a pineapple cake with cream cheese icing, folks. Come and get it before it's all gone." And he proceeded to cut it into square portions. He even cut through his mother's name without flinching in pain.

He felt a tug on his arm, and turned to see Jack looking at him. "You gonna eat anything today, or are you waiting to wake me in the middle of the night cause you're starving?"

"You're right Jack; this party is running on its own now. So I will fix a plate, and sit down and eat."

"I'm way ahead a ya, Cowboy. Yer plate is right over there at Mama's table, and so is mine. Let's eat. Which dessert do you want?"

Ennis chose the cake that Mom had ordered, the pineapple cake, and he got them both a big piece. "This good?" he asked Jack. "Yep." he said.

And they took a load off, resting for the first time since the party began.

Jenny and Bobby were playing host, they carried a tray with a pot of coffee, cups and all the fixings, around to all the tables. It hit the spot after this great meal.

When Junior and Kurt joined Gran, Ennis and Jack at table, they began to remind everyone that their wedding was less than a month away. "Gran, I thought we'd go to my church in the morning, that way you'll know where it is, and won't get lost. Is that okay with you?"

"Sure, Junior. Your Methodist church will be just fine. I'll look forward to it. Can you and Kurt pick me up, or do I have to get one of these men to take me?"

The arrangements were settled, and Gran indicated that she was getting tired. Wondered if her boys would mind if they went on back to their room. She thought the party would undoubtedly go on for at least another hour, but would soon wind down after that.

Just as she and John were about to rise from the table, Herman Stodemeir, and his Aunt Greta stopped by to pay their respects as they had to get her back to her retirement home.

"Greta, this is the young man who found our family bible and restored it to us, and who later flipped his truck when my automobile backfired. At long last, I'm pleased to introduce you to Ennis Del Mar."

"Ennis this is my aunt, Greta Stodemeir."

Ennis had stood when they approached. He shook hands with his friend and former boss, and his aunt. They spoke a minute, especially about their gratitude for Ennis finding the family bible, and then Ennis turned to introduce them to the folks at his table.

Upon meeting Claire, John and Jack, Herman said "I'm so glad you've recovered so well following your stroke, Mr. Twist."

John mumbled his thanks.

"Your son-in-law here, was worried sick about you, and couldn't wait every Friday to get up there to help out. He's a fine young man."

Both Claire and John nodded their agreement, and thanked him.

Continuing, Herman said, "I sure would like to meet your daughter, sir, while I'm here today. I'd tell her what a fine, dedicated man she is married to. Is she here?"

John blinked, and Claire opened her mouth but nothing came out. Then John said, "Unfortunately, we were not lucky enough to have more children. Jack here, is our only child."

Jack stood firmly at Ennis' side and said, "It's my father that Ennis came to help after his stroke. I'm the one Ennis is married to, and yes, I agree, he's a fine dedicated man. The best."

"Daddy, is everything all right?" asked Junior. She and Kurt, along with Kendra and Anthony were intending to say their good-byes as they felt they had to get back. So, the timing was a little awkward when the young ones walked up to the standing group. It seemed that Mr. Stodemeir, who'd been a brick when daddy had hurt himself, was bristling, and the air was tense. Junior raised an eyebrow and her group backed off a few paces - it was apparent that daddy was in the middle a something.

"Herman, you drove us from the hospital to the airport, I thought you knew, all this time, that it was Jack. . ."

Herman had initially turned white, and at this time he was in the process of turning bright red. He spluttered "All this time, I thought you were a good man!"

Ennis was completely taken aback, and said nothing. He could think of nothing to say. He didn't intend to defend himself for loving Jack.

Greta took Herman's arm, "Nephew, you are being rude to our hosts. Please stop . . ."

He angrily shook off her hand, his eyes filled with tears and his voice with venom. "I have loved you like a son, and now I find that you are nothing but a queer! Your name is in my will to inherit my ranch! I cannot believe this is happening!"

"Nor can I." quietly stated Ennis.

Herman had not raised his voice, had lowered it in fact. Nevertheless, a chilled atmosphere had taken over the space.

Junior left Kurt and his sister and brother-in-law to stand at her daddy's side, and Jenny and Bobby put down the coffee tray to be there, for support as well.

Herman stood with his lips clenched in a thin line across his disapproving face. While Greta wrung her fine linen handkerchief into a wadded mess.

Alma had taken Thomas, her youngest to the toilet, and was returning when she noted the body language of the group around the elder Twist's table. She saw Junior run her arm up her daddy's back in a comforting gesture, a habit she was sure the girl didn't even realize she had. So Alma walked over to investigate why Ennis might need comforting.

Without hearing a word, she took in the scene and promptly walked over and stood all of her 5' ½" frame in front of Ennis, facing Herman Stodemeir. "Sir, you are not welcome here."

By this time, Monroe had come in search of Alma, and found the situation charged to the max. He stood beside Ennis, and put his hand on Alma's shoulder. "Everything all right here, AJ?"

He looked sternly at Mr. Stodemeir, as well, and eventually, the fire and fight went out of Herman, and he slumped. "Let's go, Aunt." he said. He turned to Ennis for one long last look of regret, for the son he thought he knew, and thought he'd loved.

When the Stodemeir's left, everyone took a new breath, they hadn't realized they were holding. They were giddy in relief and in disbelief that such a thing should happen to them in the middle of a wonderful celebration.

Ennis grabbed Alma. "SIR YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE!" he laughed as he repeated her words. "My hero!"

Joining in the laughter was Monroe, "Is that what she said to him?! Oh, my god AJ, what possessed you?"

Jack was beaming at Alma, he was grateful that she had taken matters into her own hands before he had to punch an old man. He did not want to do that, but would have if it should have become necessary.

Both the girls stroked their daddy's shoulders and back in blessed relief, and he looked at them and rubbed his thumbs down their faces as he had done since they were babies.

Bobby came to Jack, grateful that this ugly scene was over. "whew!" He leaned into his dad, too old for a hug now. "You git mucha that?" he asked his dad.

"Naw, not much son. Nothin' for you to worry about, anyway."

"Well, sure wouldn't want some Crazies taken a tire iron to you and Ennis. I'm just sayin . . ." he swallowed a lump in his throat.

"Bobby that ain't gonna happen, son. And I love you too. We both do"

It became apparent that many of the partiers hadn't noticed a thing and some were dancing to the music, some singing along, some were eyeing the dessert table, thinking of seconds.

A glance at Lureen's and Irene's table assured Jack that they had not noticed anything amiss, and were having a good time. Irene was dancing with Albert, Alma's oldest boy and he was spinning and spinning. Bruce cut in, and all three danced to "Uptown Girl".

Once he was over the worst of the shock, Ennis turned to hug Jack to his chest, locking his arms around him momentarily, and rubbing his stubble against Jack's stubble to reassure his man and himself that they were alright and still together.

Ennis then turned to Mom and JC to see how they had held up through this ordeal. He saw them, forehead to forehead talking over something in private, low tones. "Whatever comes, they are our boys and they belong together. Yes, it's still a risk."

"A risk worth taking, that's undeniable."

"Yes, we just have to love and support them."

"I can do that."

"I love you so much."

"Love you too, Clarey"

When they had settled the matter, they again were talking of leaving, but changed their minds in favor of some coffee and dessert.

There was no way that Ennis or Jack could resume eating now, luckily they had finished about half of their meal. The excitement was over, but they were still keyed up. At that moment, a new song came on, and Ennis took Jack's hand in his. "I wish I could dance to this with you, darlin'." "Every Breath You Take" was one of his favorites, so he asked Mom to dance instead.

With his best gal in his arms, dancing to that great song Ennis felt good. But soon there came a tap on his shoulder and Jack asked, "May I cut in?" and Ennis began to back out to let Jack dance with his mother. "No, you stay, Ennis." So Claire began to back away. "No, let's all dance." So it happened that Ennis was able to dance with Jack to this song that he loved, and to dance with Mom too. The three of them were not the smoothest dance team on the floor, but they were the happiest.

Even John was tempted to shake a leg, when "Islands In The Stream" began, and he looked for his wife. She wasn't in sight at the moment, so he asked Jenny to dance, and she accepted. "I didn't know you could dance, Poppa!"

He laughed, "Me neither."

At some point in the evening, Jack danced with Irene, Ennis with Lureen, and Monroe and Alma got out on the dance floor between chasing their boys.

John and Claire looked for each other when "All Night Long" began, and were soon dancing and singing to each other along with Lionel Richie. During this song, Jack and Ennis were holding hands and talking with Drew and Bruce about life in Denver and how they liked the city. Their dates had gone to the powder room.

Ennis motioned Monroe over when the dance was done, to bring him into the conversation of the men. They had nothing in common, any of them, due to their jobs or professions, but they were a congenial group nonetheless. They laughed about it even: a grocer, a pilot, a contractor, a salesman, and a rancher. They found the only thing they had in common was a love of baseball.

"Well, I'm beginning to get tired" explained Mom, by way of saying good night to Ennis. He glanced at his watch, and gasped.

"Hang on a minute, okay?" she nodded, and he stepped to the middle of the room once more.

"Friends, time flies when you're having fun. We only have this room till midnight, and it's now 11:30. We can keep the music going, and we can move the desserts to Jack's and my room. The rest has to be cleaned up and disposed of. Who's willing to pitch in?

Everyone was enjoying the camaraderie, so they began collecting cups and plates, throwing everything away that was disposable. The dishes were stacked in the tubs for that purpose, and the silverware placed in the bins.

Alma wet a cloth to wipe off the chairs. Monroe took it upon himself to begin folding up the chairs and stacking them on the chair dolly. Kurt rumpled up all of the tablecloths and pushed them into the large trash bin in the back room. Jack was folding up all the round tables and placing them in the rack.

Drew grabbed a broom and began sweeping the floor. Irene checked the Ladies Room, and Bruce the Men's Room. Albert and Thomas were oblivious to all this as they slept on a couple cushions on the floor by the wall near where Alma had been sitting.

Ennis was helping the kids reach all the scotch-taped crepe paper streamers so they didn't leave any bits dangling. He remembered the hurricane lamps. "Oh, I forgot, to tell everyone. The lamps on your tables are souvenirs for the Mother who sat at that table. Take them with you." There were more tables than mothers, so Junior and Jenny each got to keep one of the hurricane lamps.

Bobby gathered the stereo system and his and Jenny's tapes and carried them over to Dad 'n Ennis' room for the moment. Then he went back and retrieved Ennis' old style music tapes too.

Jack met him halfway, carrying a tray of desserts that were leftover. When they returned to the party room, all looked ship shape.

Everyone was in the middle of the floor congratulating themselves on a job well and quickly done. It was 11:50. Jack saw Ennis enter from the kitchen, and went over to him. "All clear?"

"Yep. We've fulfilled the contract I signed. The only things left are the dishes and they have agreed to run those through their dish washer tomorrow. They prefer that, in fact."

"This is a good party room, Ennis."

"Is it? I never been in one so I didn't know what to expect."

"Yes, you chose well, Ennis." Mom had come up behind him with a wet cloth in her hands. She'd thought about small children with sticky fingers, and had decided to wash off all the window sills and doorframes. John followed behind her and dried the surfaces that she cleaned. They stowed the rags in the laundry bag.

Ennis turned out the lights and locked the door at 12:00 sharp. He would walk up and take the keys to the office now, so it was not on his mind all night.

When Ennis returned, the party had moved to the parking lot where friends, old and new were saying good night or deciding to go somewhere else to continue the revelry.

Mom and dad waved to their boys and turned into room #19.

Ennis and Jack stayed in the parking lot long enough to shush those who might disturb others who were trying to sleep in this motel, and to say "rain check" to those who wanted to hit the bars and keep going awhile.

When the lot was cleared, Ennis took Jack's arm and directed him to the truck. He proceeded to pull out two lawn chairs which he handed to Jack, and pulld two beers from their cooler.

He directed him to the line of trees along the edge of the motel lot, away from the flashing

M O T E L sign. They opened their chairs and sat down, stretched out their long legs, popped the caps off their beers, and clinked the necks of the bottles together. Then sighed.

"Look at that moon, darlin'" said a contented Ennis Del Mar.

TBC

Special added attractions here: If these links have disappeared again, Please go to ABI - 44 in LJ. I apologize for this inconvenience.

To see and hear the old songs of Claire's and John's not the best sound – kinda tinny)

To see what the top songs of 1983 were that Bobby and Jenny might have bought tapes for – remember, it took a while back then for songs and fashions to hit Wyoming, starting as they do on the Coasts.

To see the website containing murals from several post offices including the Riverton, WY post office that I've talked about in this story. I hope you enjoy this look into the past.

Annie Proulx says she did not see this mural, but we don't know whether Ang Lee did or not.

Here's a picture of the astounding mural in the Riverton Post Office that my friend Joe took in June, 2006. Enjoy.

Judy/Ohiomyown

a href"http://pics. src"http://pics. width"320" height"240" border'0'/a


	45. Chapter 45

Monroe Stokes & Alma Jean Beers, The Real Story

This is a very different story from what I usually write.

I created None of the main characters, they are Annie Proulx's. I did create Shirlene. In this story I'm filling in times when you weren't looking - showing some of the heretofore unseen years.

WARNING - Hetero Sex!!

Monroe Stokes & Alma Jean Beers, The Real Story

Monroe Stokes was a pudgy little boy. His family moved to Riverton from Cheyenne when he was 8, for it was thought to be a better place to raise a family. Monroe had an older sister, Peony, and an older brother Wilferd. lj-cut 

Monroe never had a nickname, though he desperately wanted one. How could you shorten Monroe? Monnie? Roey? Naw, that was crap. He'd never have a nickname and he knew it! His second grade teacher kept calling him Mr. Stokes, even though he asked her not to. Oh, she was a girl, and he knew all girls were dumb and had Cooties, so he never got close to Miss Jenkins. In regard to Miss Jenkins, Monroe was correct, she was dumb. Word is still out on whether she had cooties.

Monroe was not a popular boy. Oh, he knew that too. For one thing, he was too good in his class work. Stood out like a sore thumb. By the 3rd and 4th grades, he was getting affirmations from the teachers for his good work, and this made up, in part, for his unpopular status with the other children.

Something happened though in 5th grade that would set the course for the rest of his life. Barry Smallwood had a party, to which every child in his class was invited, that was the rule. If he did not invite every little girl and boy from his class, his parents would cancel the party. It was totally up to him. So, Monroe was invited along with the kids that Barry really wanted at his party.

After the volleyball game, and before the cake and ice cream, Barry's teenaged sister said they could play "Spin The Bottle" and she gave them a big coke bottle to use for the spinner. Monroe just imagined that all the girls were praying not to get picked by the coke bottle when Monroe was spinning, but they were willing to live dangerously. Several kids had taken a turn, and had gone into the closet to "do the deed". He'd never kissed anyone and had not really planned on kissing anyone ever, but here he was, and unless he wanted to get laughed out of town, he'd better go along with the rules they'd laid out.

When it was his turn, Monroe grabbed the coke bottle so hard, it squirted out of his hand. Everyone snickered, and he had to start all over again. This time it actually spun, and it seemed to stop right in front of Alma Jean Beers. He just looked at her; started to sweat, and gulped. Alma Jean stood, took his hand and lead him into the closet. Once in there, they couldn't see a thing. Alma Jean, in her determination to get this thing overwith, went to grab his hand, but she grazed the front of his pants at the same time. Suffused with electricity now, Monroe could have lit up that closet bright as daylight. This was his inaugural "woody" and small though it may be, it was memorable.

Having found his hands by now, Alma Jean pulled him forward, cupped the back of his head and pulled him towards her face, determined to give him a quick peck on the lips and be out of that stuffy closet. What happened though, was that Monroe, still relaxed by her inadvertent "grope", gave his soft lips to her and pressed in, effectively fixing her in place. Alma Jean took hold of his face on both sides, and kissed him back. It was a thoroughly enjoyable sensation. They both knew it. And they both forgot to breathe.

They pulled apart gasping for air, and Alma Jean coughed a bit. Monroe, ever solicitous asked if she were alright. By now they could hear hoots and jeers from outside the door, so they opened the closet and went back to the circle, both wearing a faint flush and a tiny smile. Everyone of the 5th graders noticed and so, forever more, they were dubbed as a couple. Which suited Monroe just fine. He was in love, and it was a bad case.

In the summer between Sixth and Seventh grade, Monroe grew a foot. Literally grew twelve inches taller in one summer. He was noticed at the municipal swimming pool, and although the girls didn't swoon over him, they nodded their heads in appreciation for what Nature had wrought in him in such a short time. Usually, the comments began with "Who would have ever thought that Monroe Stokes . . " He felt their gazes and took it as a sign that he wasn't as repulsive as he once was.

After the 8th grade, he got a summer job unloading trucks at a local grocery store which hardened his muscles a bit and by the time his Freshman year began in September, he had shoulders where none had been before, and a waist. He needed a belt now, and it was a bit easier to keep his shirts tucked in.

Ah, High School; means just one thing. Dances.

Monroe was still pretty good in his class work; math was his best subject. He stuck to his studies during the first semester, and into the second. By the time February rolled around, he was gathering his courage to ask Alma Jean to the Cherry Ball. They had gazed at each other over the years, but no notes passed between them. There was no one sent from his camp to go ask someone in her camp to find out if she liked him. He always felt that she did, and she knew that he liked her. Had since that day in the closet.

Monroe felt the weight of tradition bearing down on him, so he first went over to the post office to ask Mr. Beers if he might ask Alma Jean to the dance. He promised to be respectful, to have her home on time, and everything a father might want to hear. However, Mr. Beers felt that Freshman year might be rushing it a bit. He gave Monroe license to come to the house, to spend time with Alma Jean, but she could not go out on a date until her Sophmore year. More to the point, not until the New Year, so a year from now, he could come back and ask for permission to date his daughter.

When he told her of her dad's decision, she was angry, and disappointed, but being an obedient girl, she would abide by her daddy's dictum. They made plans to get together at her house the coming Friday after dinner. Monroe brought his books with him, and they started out thinking they would study or do their homework together, but that never materialized. By the time the family was inside, in front of the tv, Alma Jean and Monroe were on the front porch swing, chilly as it was, the privacy was worth it.

They held hands and talked of everything and nothing. They told the songs they liked, and the singers. They talked about the kids at school, and the teachers too. Their world was small, they did not discuss current events unless it happened in their small sphere. Who liked who, who was going steady, who was cheating on who. If anyone was actually cheating – like on tests at school, they didn't know anything about that. Doubted anyone they knew would do such a thing.

Monroe put his fingers into her waistband of her skirt and touched her skin. But that was as far as he tried to go. That was thrilling enough for now.

A month later, he had both hands around her ribs, completely touching her skin, holding her, feeling her breath go in and out of her lungs. By summer he was cupping and nuzzling her breasts. In Sophmore year, first semester, he was sucking on her breasts and nipples. They had not been to a dance yet.

Her daddy thought he'd been strict and effectively protected his daughter from getting into a situation before she was mature enough to handle it.

By that summer, she was unzipping his fly and putting her hands into his pants and rubbing him, but not inside his briefs, just through the cotton of his underwear.

He was caressing and rubbing her, through her clothes, to climax. After she would cry out shaken to her core, he would kiss her skin, all that he was allowed to touch, and then go home and masturbate. They talked a lot about getting married, and being virgins when they wed. There was no Pledge in those days, but they would have signed it with a clear conscience if there had been.

In Junior year, they had escalated the things they dared to do. Under the guise of doing homework at the library, they would lay in the park, in the dark and strain against their clothing, against each other and feed their frustrations. One night, Monroe pushed AlmaJean (AJ as only he called her) down, to lie flat, and he pulled up her skirt, fingering her clitoris through the silky fabric of her panties, He bent over her and breathed his hot breath right on her, making her moist, and she bucked her hips up to his mouth. Oh how amazing that felt, oh my god, she was trembling like an aspen in the mountain winds. She pulled her panties aside to allow him access to all of her that needed his wet, warm mouth. Monroe's tongue, free at last to delve into her folds went crazy and lathed and loved her till she cried out in her new found ecstacy. Not her first orgasm, but the best yet. He could no longer refrain, nor restrain his lust and his longing for her, his own woman, his AJ. He unzipped his pants and pushed his engorged penis into her in one lunge that both of them had waited and waited for, seemingly forever.

Bucking and fucking on this hard ground in the park, they reached climax together, his first, her second of the night and kept pumping until all sensation had diminished, or more likely, till they were so exhausted, they could no longer move against each other.

When she got home, she went to the bathroom. She noticed blood on her panties, and some on her skirt. She washed them out in cold water and tried to think of a place to hang them to dry; somewhere her mother would not see them. Monroe also went to the bathroom when he got to his house. Having sex with AJ had left him sticking to his underwear, and so he went upstairs to wash up. He noticed blood on the washcloth. At first he didn't know what to think, maybe she was having her period, which they'd never discussed because it would be embarrassing to talk about it. And then he remembered his Freshman Hygiene class, and how they discussed the hymen. He recalled some of the crude boys bragging about popping their girlfriend's cherry . . . so this was it. They were no longer virgins.

Recklessly they continued exploring all of each other's bodies and fucking with abandon and without protection throughout the balance of their junior year. In February, AJ told Monroe that she was "late". She was terrified, and didn't know what to do. "We can get married, I love you, you know I do."

"How will we live? What about finishing school? What about our parents? They'll be so disappointed." She was in panic mode.

Monroe began to caress her and sooth her in the best way he knew how, by rubbing her between her thighs, then blowing on her with his warm, seductive breath, and then ripping her panties aside to suck her senseless and tongue fucking her till she writhed and came – calling his name. It worked to distract her. For a time. But then he was keyed up and needed to be sucked too, and she obliged him, licking and sucking greedily. Just before he came, he pulled away from her and inserted his cock inside her till his balls slapped against her ass. This was the best, pumping into her as hard as he could, she calling him "baby", coaxing him, "fuck me baby, fuck me Roe!" and he came harder than he'd ever come, inside her or being sucked off. She had given him a nickname!

AJ got her period soon after that, and the pressure was off. But Monroe told her he was going to work inside the grocery store. He wanted them to get married. They needed a bed of their own, an everyday bed where they could enjoy their sex life anytime they chose. No more taking chances of being discovered in the park. He wanted to begin their life in public as a married couple.

Alma had begun working an after school job at the Dairy Queen, and was not making all that much, but sometimes the tips were good. They agreed that they would both save as much as they could, and they would soon marry. The money would get them started off right.

Monroe had promised to take AJ to the movies to see Psycho, a chiller, thriller by Alfred Hitchcock that was finally making it's way to Wyoming and other places in the middle of the country. When he showed up, Peony and Wilferd were with him, He looked at her abashed, knew she wanted to be alone with him, but really felt he had no choice but to invite them along, or be rude, and walk out on them. Monroe couldn't be rude. It wasn't in him.

In the theatre, she sat beside him stiff as a board. Declined any popcorn or jujubes, and said not a word all night till he took her home. When he walked her to her door, still apologizing, she just glared at him. "Don't ever pull a thing like this on me again, Monroe, I don't like surprises." What she said was bad enough, but she hadn't called him Roe, and that hurt him more than anything she could have done. And he knew she was really upset with him.

The next day a tall, lanky cowboy walked into the Dairy Queen and turned his brown gold eyes on her and asked, "what's filling and cheap?". Alma was done for already. By the time she'd refilled his coffee cup for the last time that afternoon, she was smitten, and on fire.

Though she couldn't seem to get him to ask her out, she wrangled an excuse for him to take her to a dance, right before he left for that summer job. She "accidentally" rubbed against him, and started showing him what being her boyfriend might mean for him. He was careful and respectful of her, and they did not have sex. But she made it seem like he took her farther than she'd ever been willing to go before, and now he'd sullied her. Perhaps they might oughta get married, if that's how strong they felt on each other. And he agreed.

While Ennis was away on that mountain, Alma was pleased to tell everyone that she was engaged to be married when her young man came back from his job. Her family was planning, and sewing, and scrounging up ideas for decorating a church for a winter wedding. When she got too strung out and needed some stimulation, she'd go hang around the grocery store and Monroe would fall into line, fuck her and give her what she wanted. He thought he could tie her to him with the strong physical needs they shared, but she had her eye on that cowboy, and there wasn't nothing he could say or do, to change her mind.

The night before Ennis came back, she spent the whole night in Monroe's bed, romping and straddling him, sitting on his cock, and on his face, and blowing his mind. His heart had already been blown. Then she told him it was over forever.

During the years she was married to Ennis Del Mar, Alma never returned to Monroe's bed, well, maybe never is too strong a word. She shopped in his store, and smiled demurely at him. Then after both girls were up and walking, she came to Monroe, all contrite and needing help.

She explained that times were tough with two young children and her husband didn't make all that much as a ranch hand. She wheedled and sighed until he offered her a job in the grocery store, though he hadn't planned on taking on extra help for several more months. Alma was a good worker and eventually, he was glad he'd hired her. They were a good team in the store as well as they'd ever been in bed. That's a fact. She knew Monroe would do anything in the world for her, and she reveled in that. Cause her husband seemed oftentimes, to have other things on his mind.

The sex wasn't all that great either, at home. Things her husband liked to do didn't bring no babies, that's for sure. Sometimes she wished she wasn't such a good woman, she'd love to climb ol' Monroe's frame, jump his bones, as the young ones were saying these days. And she remembered. He had pretty damn nice bones. She thought maybe she'd just take on an extra day in the store, here and there. Not every week, but a few times a month. Who knew what might happen?

Thing was, wasn't anything gonna happen cause Monroe wasn't about to fuck a married woman. He had more respect for himself than that. And besides, AJ had already broken his heart the limited amount of times he could allow.

He gave her a job, and he gave her extra days when she asked, but he wouldn't give her no ride on his pony. Last couple weeks, he'd been thinking of asking Shirlene over at the Bank out for a cup of coffee. He thought she was a nice, cheerful woman, who kept herself neat and who never had a bad or ugly word to say about anyone. He liked that about her.

Monroe began squiring Shirlene to church, and to the dances, and to the picture shows. Alma was beside herself cause her man had an unusual affinity for a friend a his, and they lit out periodically for the mountains to uh . . fish together.

One night, after Ennis had been back from his fishin' trip about three weeks, he finally decided he wanted to have sex with her. They were going at it, just getting good and then she unloads her decision that "as far behind as we are on the bills, we shouldn't be doing this without no protection."

Well, shit, he pulls back and looks at her. "If you don't want no more a my kids, I'll be happy to leave you alone." And he did.

After that, it was all downhill and they were getting lawyers and heading for the divorce court. Alma made sure to report every bit of it to Monroe, letting him know that she'd soon be available. No longer a married woman. She desperately wanted back in his bed, and she wanted to dispel Shirlene before she got too ensconced there. She leaned heavily on the "all we've meant to each other, all these years we were together, etc etc." and it worked. Monroe stopped seeing Shirlene, and waited for Alma to make it official.

It wasn't more'n nine months after AJ's divorce that they were married. They were actually very well suited to each other, and for the most part, they were happy in their choice. Little by little, Monroe got the story from Alma, what the problem had been with her and her husband.

It took several years, AJ and Monroe had two boys by then, but Ennis and his partner, Jack, and Alma and Monroe became friends, which was great for the girls and all the rest of the family. Hard feelings just caused problems, and there are enough of those in life as it is.


	46. Chapter 46

A Better Idea - Chapter 46

Mother's Day, 1984 – The Day After The Party

Genre: BBM

Pairing: Ennis + Jack 4 Ever

Disclaimer: I created the OC's but not the O/S characters. They belong solely to the author, Annie Proulx, with some tweaking by Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana. No money is being made, nor fame and fortune of any kind.

Disclaimer #2: This story is unbeta'd so you have no one to blame but me for errors or controversy.

Rating: The basic premise of ABI is that two men love each other. If you don't like m/m slash, you won't like ABI either.

A/N #1 - Huge THANK YOU to lovesthelight for my NEW BANNER! HUGS

A/N #2 - I adore reading other author's fics, and they inspire me to continue to write. But this story, this ABI Universe is my original work. Any similarities, yadda, yadda, coincidence.

A/N #3 – This Rating might be a Notch Hotter than previous chapters. Not Work Safe nor Child Safe.

A/N #4 – Dedicated to Torry. Wonderful Torry who gave me a kick square in the backside recently. This is for you, Friend.

Feedback: You bet. I hope you like it.

a href"http://pics. src"http://pics. width"320" height"187" border'0'/ /a 

Chapter 46 The Day After The Mother's Day Party

When Ennis and Jack strolled into the Main Street Cafe at 6:45 the next morning, Mom and Dad were already there, seated at their round table, coffee cups half full. As the couple seated themselves side by side, across from the elder Twists, Mom noticed the stubble burn on Ennis' face, and the sappy smiles on both their faces. She had not a doubt why they were late. For some unknown reason, this thought made her so happy she wasn't sure whether to cry or sing a hymn of praise. She planned to do both when she got to Junior's church later this morning.

That thought reminded her that in her excitement about the party, she forgot to tell Reverend Peterson or Clayton, as he'd asked her to call him, that they would be out of town today and would not be in their usual pew. Oh well, Iris and Walter could explain for her, but she hated being thoughtless to someone who'd been there for her, most recently through John's illness.

In her woman's heart, she had known that Reverend Peterson had a crush on her for years, and she was so relieved that he'd finally found someone suitable. Clayton was a good and loving man; he didn't deserve to be a widower living alone for years on end. Claire sighed contentedly and brought her mind back to the table, and her own gentlemen.

The Cafe's morning staff did not include Brenda, but Seth was good and efficient too, arriving momentarily with two mugs and a pot of coffee in his hands. He took Jack's and Ennis' breakfast order, and left them to go put it with the other two, so the food would all come out at the same time. In a moment he was back, heating up their coffee and bringing glasses of water.

Mom covered Ennis' hand on the table, and thanked him again for the party, the surprise, and all those people he brought in to help them celebrate. He shifted in his seat, shook his head, and said "No, That was nothing. You deserve much more than that, Mom."

John and Jack agreed, nodding their heads, thinking where they would be if not for her, for her love and support. "Yup" said John.

"I'm just glad to know you liked the party, and the surprise. So we'll do something again someday when you least expect it. Ennis grinned and Claire cupped the side of his face. "What am I gonna do with you, son?" Just then, Seth showed up with a tray almost as big as their table. He passed around the eggs, hot cakes, biscuits and gravy, ham and bacon, serving each dish to the right person. He heated up their mugs of coffee and left them to enjoy their breakfast.

Ennis and Jack found they were starved. Had only eaten half a meal the night before due to the unfortunate timing of Herman's tirade. A sadness hovered over Ennis, thinking of how he'd gone through most of his life with so few friends. Each true friend is a precious gift. It's painful to lose one, and especially one he'd cared about for such a long time. He made up his mind to call Herman before leaving Riverton. Didn't matter whether it would be welcomed or not, he was gonna face it, and try to save this friendship.

"Thought we might find you here!" Four heads turned toward the door of the little diner, The speaker was Lureen, who was making her entrance the way she always did; she strolled in as if she owned the place, or was the star of their show. She was striking in jeans and a red long sleeved shirt, black boots and a red and black scarf. Her hair was pulled up into an attractive twist on the back of her head, held in place by an ornate Spanish style black comb. No doubt about it, this woman has a presence about her. There were not many early morning patrons in the Café, but those who were there, paused with their mouth open and their fork half way to its destination taking in this vision. A vision unlike any seen in this quiet town since . . . well, since ever.

Following in her wake are: Drew, Bruce, Irene and Bobby. Seth recognized the situation; he jumped to attention to bring chairs and menus for the newcomers. Their round table accommodated all the newcomers, but it was definitely a tight squeeze.

When Jenny, Junior and Kurt walked in, Bobby excused himself to sit with the young crowd, giving the parental table some breathing room. Soon the noise level in the Café rose to unparalleled heights.

Lureen's party had fully intended to say their good-byes and get an early start on the road south. It was the baker's fault that when they walked in, the place smelled so delicious; like the fresh cinnamon rolls coming out of the oven right then; they silently voted to stay and eat. It was unamimous.

Kurt and Bobby were arguing companionably about the relative height, age and beauty of the mountains of Wyoming versus those of Colorado. Bobby finally conceded to Kurt's point of view by saying "What do I know about mountains? Most of my life was spent in flat ol' Childress, Texas. Every one of these mountains just blows me away. I don't ever want to live out of sight of a mountain again."

Junior and Jenny paused in their wedding discussion long enough to over hear Bobby's last comment. Jenny took a virtual pen to her mental list, and wrote "check!". She studied the table top, and her orange juice glass but couldn't keep the smile from flaming across her cheeks. Bobby bent down and looked up into her hidden face. "Whut?" he said. She just shook her head "no" that she wasn't going to say what she was thinking about, but she gently rammed her shoulder into his. He knew it wouldn't do any good to cajole her, so he let it drop, but he had a feeling it was something good. And it was about him. Tentatively, he reached over and linked their fingers. He didn't relinquish her hand until their breakfasts arrived.

"The bridesmaid dresses will be ready by next Wednesday, the flowers and cake are on order, and confirmed. The invitations were mailed out a month ago. The church and fellowship hall have been reserved for six months now. So, are you ready with your music, Jen?" asked Junior.

"I am, but I'd really like to run through a few of the songs with you, Jr."

"How's today after church sound?" Junior looked at Kurt, Jenny and Bobby. So it was agreed, but Bobby had to leave with his dads and his grandparents at some point today, so he asked that they do it as early as possible. He'd like to be there to hear Jenny sing, even if it was just practice."

Ennis and Jack loaded the luggage and gifts from Mom and Dad's room into the truck in anticipation of spending some Quality Time with each other before check out time at 11:00 a.m. They covered everything with a tarp and lashed it down. "Come on," said Jack, "I got an appointment with my cowboy."

The folks were with the young people, waiting for the church service to begin while viewing the layout of the church, color pictures of the flower arrangements they'd chosen, and fabric samples of the bridesmaids dress. Kurt admitted to John that he had only one regret marrying his Junior.

"Oh? Only one?" chided John.

"Yup, gotta get trussed up in a rented tuxedo. I'll look like I'm getting buried, 'stead of married!"

John laughed, he knew the feelin'. He thought he might get off easy; just wear some nice slacks, a decent sports jacket and a tie. Unless Claire dictated that he wear a suit, of course. Women sure seemed to like to get dressed up, and it usually had something to do with church, he noted. Not that he was complainin'. Whatever his Clairy wanted, she was gonna get – 'bout time too!

While all the decisions and show 'n tell were going on at the church, Ennis and Jack were finishing packing their own stuff. The clock radio next to the bed said "8:57" indicating that they only had two hours together in this room, before it was time to check out and leave town. Jack was sitting on the bed pulling off his boots when he looked up at Ennis and asked "Shower Before or After?"

Ennis laughed. "Have you seen this face o'mine this morning? You need to soften your beard in the shower, then shave. Then when we are driving home all closed up in the truck with the folks, we might not want to smell like we'd been rutting all morning."

"Ah, best smell ever, Cowboy."

"Agreed. How'dya think your mama will like that smell?"

"So, the answer is Both, right?"

"Right."

"Aw, did I wuff up your tender wittle face . . ."

A tentative knock sounded three times on their door.

"We expectin' anybody, Ennis?"

Ennis silently shook his head 'no', as he pulled the curtain aside to see who their visitor might be. In a flash, Ennis turned and scanned the room for anything that might cause embarrassment. There was no lube on the night stand, no underwear flung hither and yon . . . all that had sure enough been there earlier, but was now stowed away. Unlocking the door, he told Jack, "it's Herman."

Ennis opened the door as wide as it would go and stood solidly and unsmiling in the middle of the opening.

"Herman?"

"Ennis, I must talk to you, will you allow me?"

Ennis stood back and waved the older gentleman into their room. The newcomer immediately fixed his eyes on one messy bed, and one neatly made bed. He took in Jack at a glance and saw two boots flung haphazardly on the floor, and Jack sitting on the bed holding one limp sock. The other was still on his left foot.

It was a very intimate scene he'd walked in on, and Herman was aware that Jack was not dressing, just the opposite. He could feel his blood pressure rising, and his face flushing once again. He turned and fled the room.

Herman stood out in the parking lot and called, "Ennis can I speak with you privately, please?"

Ennis walked out to his friend, and put his hand on his shoulder. "Sure 'nuff you can speak with me, Herman. Matter a fact, I was gonna call you before we left town today."

"I'm glad you are giving me another chance, Ennis."

"Yes, everybody needs a second chance sometimes, Herman. Even me. Even you. But I'll tell you this, if ya can't respect my life as it is now, we don't have nothin' ta say ta each other. I'm with Jack, and anything you wanta say to me, you can say in fronta him." With that declaration hanging between them there in the parking lot, Ennis watched for an appropriate response from Mr. Stodemeir. When nothing was forthcoming, Ennis turned his back and began to walk into the motel room.

"Ennis, please!"

He did not turn around to face the man, but stopped, looked over his shoulder a bit and said in a conciliatory tone "We'll be back next month for my daughter's weddin'. You think it over. You still wanta talk to us then, we'll make sure you get time to do just that." He walked into the room, closed the door firmly and locked it. Ennis pulled and tugged on the door – not liking the flimsyness of the lockset, he also chained it. 'Jack 'n me are gonna have some time alone if I have to push the dresser in fronta this goddamn door.'

The clock radio now said "9:08".

Ennis quickly stripped and joined Jack in the shower. He poured shampoo into his hands and rubbed up a good lather which he placed on Jack's head and face where he sculpted a mongo beard. He laughed at his creation, then made a beard on his own face in white creamy lather. Ennis put a dollop of lather on Jack's nose and proceeded to give him an Eskimo kiss. Their play turned hot fast, and to save time, Ennis twirled Jack around under the shower head to rinse him off, then shoved him out of the tub. Jack quickly shaved and brushed his teeth. Ennis, by then, was beside him doing the same.

They pulled back the covers of the neat bed and climbed in, damp and ready for some lovin'. Ennis rubbed his face against Jack's, kissed the corner of his mouth and moved up to his ear, nibbling, and down to where his jaw connects to his neck. Jack's eyes were closed, but his hands were busy, pulling Ennis' length fully on top of him. As soon as their dicks were lined up side by side neither man could concentrate, their bodies took over by memory and instinct. Sliding together made both harden and begin to drip on Jack's stomach. Ennis loved it, he reached between them and ran his fingers through that natural lube. He slid his hand down to caress the cleft of Jack's ass, but laying on him as he was, he had him pinned down. Ennis rolled himself and Jack sideways so they were on their sides facing each other, then his hand had easy access to the entry he was aiming for, hungering for.

Jack lifted his leg to give Ennis more room. On this day, Ennis could not wait to love Jack's ass, he bent down, pulling Jack's leg up more so he could kiss and lick around the pucker that was just for him. "Oh baby" Jack moaned.

With the saliva running freely and the pre-cum from his fingers, Ennis had Jack prepared for him. But even if he hadn't been slick enough, Jack's moans were urging Ennis to hurry. Ennis was growling, sounded like he was saying "mine, mine". He kept Jack on his side and slid a finger in, then two. Curling those fingers slightly, Ennis found the spot he wanted, the spot Jack needed.

Ennis pulled Jack's leg up over his right shoulder. He was able to bend down and take Jack's hot cock in his mouth, while still probing his prostate. Jack was out of his mind with sensations, not knowing where he was nor what felt the best. Ennis sucked Jack while taking both his balls in his left hand and tugging them just a bit, his right hand still hitting the mark inside of Jack.

Jack was on sensual overload, and his cry "Ennisss! Oh God!" presaged the orgasm of the century, he would later claim. When Jack was sucked dry and Ennis' hands were doing nothing more than caressing Jack's butt and stomach, he entered his man and came just as hard. All it took were three pelvis pounding thrusts before he was shooting his seed and his love deeply into Jack Twist, in celebration of all that had come before. Ennis' shout "Jack, Fuck! Sonofabitch!" could be heard in the next county, or at least out to the motel parking lot.

Jack's leg was shaking and numb from being up in the air so long. Ennis gently slid out of Jack and laid it down straight on the bed before collapsing on his lover. He wrapped his arms around Jack, enfolding his world and while dripping sweat on those motel pillow cases, he murmured tiredly, "Jesus Christ, how I love you."

Jack revived enough to hear those words. He took Ennis' face in his hands and gently, lovingly kissed his swollen mouth, his nose, his eyes. Then Jack opened his own eyes. "Ennis, I have to tell you this, my love. It's TEN FUCKIN FORTY EIGHT!"

Soap and water flew around that shower. Both men came out clean as a whistle, a whistle which would surely pass muster with mama's sensitive nose.

They checked out at 10:59:38.

Laughing, they drove to the church to pick everyone up and get some lunch before leaving for Lightning Flat.

Before hitting the road, everyone had stayed to hear Jenny sing the songs she'd prepared and arranged for her sister's wedding. During the run through of the last song, "You're My Everything", Jenny and Bobby were trying not to be obvious about casting glances at each other, but it wasn't working very well. Junior and Kurt didn't notice a thing though, they sat in the front pew holding hands and breathing shakily. This song was the one they picked together to start their life together. It was almost here; soon they would be married. Finally.

Jack drove first, leaving Riverton, Wyoming behind them for awhile. They'd be back soon, all of them. Ennis was tired from all the detailed party preparations, the joy of the party itself, all the adrenaline rushing through his bloodstream when Herman went berserk on them, and of course from his morning of intense lovemaking with Jack, his beautiful Jack.

Mom, dad and Bobby were murmuring in the back seat. They were kind of groggy too but had so much to talk about, they couldn't bring themselves to doze away this overcast afternoon. They lounged quietly.

Jack felt like he was the only person in the truck, everyone else was so quietly dozy. He daydreamed about the last couple of hours at the Jackpine Motel. Ennis had dispatched Herman with a firm cold shoulder, Jack was proud of him.

Then they quickly prepared for their alone time. Jack loved shower sex as much as anyone. But Ennis would not be deterred today, shoved him right out of the tub, he did. Jack tried to remember just how he had gotten - or rather how Ennis had gotten him – into that position. He never would have thought about laying sideways like that, but holy mother mc greavey . . that was some hot shit. Gonna have to remember that one, yessireebob. He'd love to get Ennis like that, love on his ass, fondle his balls, suck him, all at the same time.

Jesus, he could feel his cock harden and swell, his jeans were strangling him. Jack thought 'Need to rearrange myself a bit. Coming into Gillette, hope to hit a red light so I can . . .ah, thank god.'

Ennis peeped out of one eye, "What're you doin' over there, bud? You got a problem?" he smirked mightily.

"Just never you mind, dumbass."

Several minutes later, Ennis was still sitting quietly on his side of the truck.

"What's on your mind, Ennis? Why so quiet?"

"Thinking about all the family we had at the party. How nice that was."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I can't help feeling sorry that I haven't made an attempt to keep in touch with my side of the family, Jack."

"How you figger that? We had Alma 'n Monroe and their kids, Junior and Kurt, Jenny. . They're your side of the family"

"True."

"So what is it really, Ennis?"

"Herman hurt my feelings, Jack. I been his friend a long, long time and I'm useta him likin' me and givin' me respect for all my hard work, for bein' the best hand he's ever had. And just for being me, an honest good man. That really hurt me, how he went off all crazy-like at the party. And lookin at us like we was just somethin gooey he'd scraped off the bottom of his work boots."

"Yeah, I bet it really did, Cowboy. So what're you plannin' ta do about it?"

"Well, Jack, I been settin here thinkin on that. I wanta invite K.E. ta Junior's weddin'. Yeah, and my sister Maggie, too. What'dya think?"

Tbc


	47. Chapter 47

A Better Idea - Chapter 47

May, 1984

Genre: BBM

Pairing: Ennis Jack 4 Ever

Disclaimer: I created the OC's but not the O/S characters. They belong solely to the author, Annie Proulx, with some tweaking by Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana. No money is being made, nor fame and fortune of any kind.

Disclaimer #2: This story is unbeta'd so you have no one to blame but me for errors or controversy.

Rating: The basic premise of ABI is that two men love each other. If you don't like m/m slash, you won't like ABI either.

A/N #1 - Huge THANK YOU to all my readers who are still hanging on. It has been quite awhile since I've updated ABI, and your patience (and a little nagging) is appreciated. After 1/22/08 I didn't think I could ever read or write fanfic again, but I have returned. It feels healing for me, though I will never completely heal from the loss of my Heath.

A/N #2 - I enjoy reading other author's fics, and they inspire me to continue to write. But this story, this ABI Universe is my original work. Any similarities, yadda, yadda, coincidence.

A/N #3 – Dedicated to all who loved Heath Ledger; He will never be forgotten.

Feedback: You bet. I hope you like it.

Chapter 47

Several minutes later, Ennis was still sitting quietly on his side of the truck.

"What's on your mind, Ennis? Why so quiet?"

"Thinking about all the family we had at the party. How nice that was."

"Yeah, that was really nice."

"Yeah, but I can't help feeling sorry that I haven't made an attempt to keep in touch with my side of the family, Jack."

"How you figger that? We had Alma 'n Monroe and their kids, Junior and Kurt, Jenny. . They're your side of the family"

"True."

"So what is it really, Ennis?"

"Herman hurt my feelings, Jack. I been his friend a long, long time and I'm useta him likin' me and givin' me respect for all my hard work, for bein' the best hand he's ever had. And just for being me, an honest good man. That really hurt me, how he went off all crazy-like at the party. And lookin at us like we was just somethin he'd scraped off the bottom of his work boots."

"Yeah, I know it really bothered you, Cowboy. So what're you plannin' ta do about it?"

"Well, Jack, I been settin here thinkin on that. I wanta invite K.E. ta Junior's weddin'. Yeah, and my sister Maggie, too. What'dya think?"

"Ennis, it's your brother and sister, and if you want them to come to your daughter's weddin' that'll be up to you. But if I were you, I'd think some on it first."

"Been thinkin on it."

"I know you have, darlin', but don't you agree this should be Junior's day? Junior's and Kurt's. You sure you want to risk a family ruckus on their most important day?"

"Hmmm, no. I sure as hell wouldn't."

"Another thing for the father of the bride to think on; where should your focus be on that day but on the beautiful Alma Junior Del Mar?"

"Yer right, Jack. I was just thinking how nice it would be for Junior to have a Del Mar uncle and aunt come see her on her most important day."

"Well, that is right. All things being equal, or normal or . . . guess I don't know how to say it right. It's just that they are going to have a big shock to get used to, meanin ME, standin up there next to their little brother."

"You make a lot a sense, Jack. They need to get the shock over with before the weddin. That's obvious; or it won't do Junior no good, them bein there."

"That sounds about right. How you gonna find'em Ennis?"

"I have no idea, Jack."

As each day blended into the next that following week, Ennis became more withdrawn.

Claire noticed that the boy seemed to have something on his mind; he didn't joke around with Bobby, nor engage John in any baseball speculation though the season was upon them. On Saturday when he came over to help move her parlor furniture and carry the rug out to be beaten, she thought she might approach him, see if he would be forthcoming about whatever was worrying him.

"Ennis?"

"Yes, Mom?"

"Is something bothering you, dear?"

"Well, yes, I guess you could say so. I don't know where my brother is."

"When was the last time you talked to him, son?"

"Uh, it was April, 1963 when he got married."

"But that's 21 years ago; you've written each other letters, surely."

"Uh, no."

"Then why are you now concerned that you don't know where he is?"

"For the wedding, Mom. I'd like to have my family at Junior's wedding."

"Oh, I see. Yes, you must make every effort to find him then. But, Ennis, if you cannot, you know that we are your family now. You know that, don't you, son?"

"You bet, I do know that. And I never expected to have nothing so fine."

They resumed the chore of bringing everything from the parlor out into the sun for its Spring dusting. The knick-knacks and picture frames were taken into the kitchen for a good scrubbing. She did this every Spring, but this year especially, for she had no intention of moving Wyoming dirt and dust with her when they left.

Ennis carried out the footstool that was covered by crewel embroidery that Claire's mother had stitched. She spied it, and it brought back memories of that winter when Dessie had worked her fingers till they were stiff and sore over this beautiful piece. Before that, they hadn't realized that she had rheumatism.

"Thing is, Mom. I don't know where to start or how to find K.E."

"Where did he live? We could try calling Information, couldn't we?"

Ennis loved how she immediately sided with him; and his quest was cut in half because she was now with him on this. She had said "we".

As soon as the ancient wool carpet was divested of its winter soot and dirt, and was replaced in the parlor; the sturdy, threadbare furniture was returned to its accustomed places in the room. Ennis hoped they could now get on with their search for K.E.

Mom said, "Let's get some lunch on the table Ennis. Jack and his daddy will be in any time now, hungry as bears, not to mention Bobby, the boy with the hollow leg. After we take care of lunch, then we can see what we can find out."

"What's going on? Find out about what, Gran?" Bobby asked as he walked in the door, starving as only a teenager can, and sweating from running up the lane. He pushed his hair off his forehead to cool off. In that one gesture he reminded Ennis of his Jack, and how many times he'd seen him do that very same thing. For a moment, he was distracted by his sweet memories.

Speaking of the handsome devil, the door opened again and John and Jack walked in. They were returning from Iris and Walter's place where they were coordinating plans for the family's moves.

Jack put his arm around Ennis' shoulders and gave him a quick squeeze as he entered the kitchen. He got a smile from his man, for the attention. Bobby smiled and rolled his eyes at them.

After lunch, the men headed back out to check the stock. But Ennis begged off, explaining that he and mom were working on something. They had a pen and tablet ready for when they made their first call. They were prepared to follow every lead until they found KE even if it took them weeks.

Mom dialed zero, and the Operator answered right away. "Yes, please. I'm looking for the number for K.E. Del Mar in Shoshoni, Wyoming. Thank you. What?"

"Your number is 307-307-7373."

"Oh! Ennis, write this down, 307-307-7373."

Ennis felt like his fingers were twice the size they should be to fit in the dial holes. Dialing this phone was like a strange activity, meant for someone else's life. He never did it if he could avoid it, but this was important. He put the hand set gingerly up to his left ear.

"Hello."

"Calling for KE Del Mar."

"Speaking."

"What?"

"I said, 'this is KE'. Who's calling?"

"This is Ennis Del Mar calling."

"Ennis? What's the matter? Are you all right?"

"Yeah, KE, I'm fine. Is it really you? After all this time?"

"My god, Ennis. You sound like you are in the next room."

"KE, where are you living? I want to see you, brother."

"Hell fire, Ennis. We're still at Barbie's house. We added a couple rooms on when the kids started coming, but we're still right here where you left us."

"Well, how's tomorrow KE? Can I visit you then? If tomorrow's not good, name a time when you'll be home."

"I'm here every day, little brother. Come on whenever you want. I'll look forward to seeing you. And Ennis? Gimme your number so's we don't go 21 more years without at least talkin'."

Mom was standing by, wringing her hands, waiting to see what happened with Ennis' brother. She was so excited for him, it never crossed her mind that he would want to be in contact with his family, or what was left of it.

Ennis hung up, and turned to her. "He wants to see me." And his smile bloomed across his beautiful face.

Mom hugged him as tightly as she could. Happy for him, she smiled and crooned, "Oh, my boy. I'm so glad. When will you go?"

"The sooner I get this over with, the better. I'm going tomorrow."

"Ennis, what do you mean, 'get this over with' son?"

"Let's have a glass of tea, Mom. I'll fill you in on the Del Mar family history."

Mom was horrified at the things Ray Del Mar had done, things he had forced his sons to see. Now she understood more completely why Ennis had resisted Jack's plan to be together for all those years. This poor baby!

Hearing about poor Earl in the ditch, and knowing how and why he got there, everything became so much clearer for her where her darling boys, Jack and his Ennis, were concerned. The dangers they faced daily; were they real? Should she have allowed them to be in public together?

Jack had warned her way back when Ennis first came to the ranch, that a slip of the tongue by her, could get them killed. She hadn't taken that literally. Now she knew, that's exactly how Jack had meant it to be taken.

Now she also knew how Ennis had tried to protect Jack all these years, fearing that just being with him, could bring him harm.

"Ennis. I want to go with you to Shoshoni. I want to be with you when you meet with your brother for the first time in twenty-one years."

Ennis grabbed his new mom and hugged her tightly to his chest. He knew what she was doing, wanting to protect him, but it would likely get very ugly. Most of the words that macho men use to describe his and Jack's kind of relationship would curl the hair off a wild boar, and he would not subject her to that.

"Naw, Mom. That would not be a place for a lady. My brother is just as rough as I was, and still am at times. Knowing my family, he'll likely get ugly about me and Jack and I don't want you to have to go through that. That kind of hate, that kind of language; it would surely kill me to have you hear that."

"Sit down here darling. How is it you assume I haven't heard those words? That I would not have sought out every hateful bit of cuss words and slang to describe what I suspected, what I knew was in store for my baby boy ever since he was eight or nine years old?"

'Oh, my god' thought Ennis, 'she's been carrying around this fear longer than I have.' He put his face in his hands, but she pulled them away.

"Ennis, with a father like Jack had . . . I had to know it all. Watch for signs. Warn him to keep his feelings from showing across his beautiful little face."

"A lot a good that did, Mom!"

And they laughed together, over their beloved, transparent, Jack.

"I know! He couldn't even pretend to be someone else, even when he knew his daddy would beat him within an inch of his life for it. His heart has always been firmly attached to his sleeve."

"And thank god it was. The way I was raised, I certainly wouldn't have, couldn't have, gone after him. He had to come to me; eyes and arms and heart wide open."

"That sounds so nice, Ennis. Someday when this move is over, and we are comfortably settled in our new homes, and the weather keeps us indoors on a quiet afternoon, I'd dearly love to hear all about you two nineteen year olds, and how it all came to be on that mountain. . . .an abridged version, of course."

"What?"

"That means, with the juicy parts cut out!"

Ennis blushed nice and pink, hugged her again and said, "You got a deal, Mom."

"So do you think they'd like to have one of my cherry cakes? Or something more traditional like an apple pie?"

Ennis saw that he wasn't going to dissuade her from the course she'd chosen.

"The cherry cake. . . for sure. And I think we should get on the road by 7 a.m. Can you be ready?"

"Wild horses couldn't drag me away from going on this trip with you."

Even with all the arguments put up by John, Jack and Bobby, that evening, they still managed to meet their goal of leaving at seven in the morning.

"How are you going to bring it up, Ennis? Who are you going to say I am?"

And so they rehearsed a few scenarios as they drove along the desolate Wyoming roads, keeping alert for antelope who jump onto the roads as if they belong solely to them.

"Ennis. isn't this the way we went to Riverton? It looks the same."

"Yes, Mom. Shoshoni is just up the road from Riverton. Imagine it. All them years I lived in Riverton, and KE was just up the road from me and neither one a us knew it."

"That is strange, I know. What about your sister? Will you look for her, as well, and try to find her before Junior's wedding?"

"Depends on how it goes with KE, I 'magine. Maybe he knows where she is, and maybe he'll tell me. But if he don't, then you and I can call that operator person again, can't we?"

Mom smiled, and suggested they stop for lunch pretty soon.

They didn't lollygag, they ate, attended to bathroom duties, and hit the road again with a full tank of gas, feeling refreshed. They had good weather all the way, but the unrelenting sun made them more tired than they would have been on an overcast day. They made good time on I-90, but had to slow considerably when they turned onto 16. It was a good road, but much more winding than the interstate had been.

They eventually got to Shoshoni around 3:45 p.m. They filled up the gas tank at the TSA truck stop, got an iced tea, and went to the restroom. Claire looked at herself in the mirror and thought how stiff and tight she looked after traveling all day. Not a welcoming sight to meet Ennis' brother and his family. She washed her face in cold water and dried off with the bottom of her underslip since the place did not provide paper towels. It wasn't the first time she'd had to be creative.

When Claire came out of the restroom, Ennis was nowhere in sight. He was not at the lunch counter, nor at the desk to pay for their tea. She caught sight of his denim jacket outside, and went to join him. He was stretching his back, arms and legs after sitting in the truck all day.

During the portion of their drive on route 16, Ennis had started talking again. In his general unease about what kind of a reception they may encounter at his brother's house, Ennis had told mom the update on Herman. Told her what had transpired, and that he had given the man an ultimatum. "Accept that I'm with Jack, or don't try to be my friend. Make up your mind by the time of the wedding. . . it's up to you, Herman."

"So you haven't heard from him? Not a phone call, not a letter?"

"No, I s'pect he's still wrangling with it. He was blind sided and it will depend on whether he can let go of some long held beliefs about men like Jack and me. I'm not holding out any hope that we will continue the friendship. Though I'd like to." He hadn't talked any after that till they got to Shoshoni and ordered their tea. She hoped he was feeling okay, wondered what was uppermost on his mind.

Now, stretching the kinks out at the TSA, Ennis' total concentration was on seeing KE after all this time. His body was a jumble of excitement and at the same time, fear.

"You doin' okay, son?"

"Good as can be expected, I guess. Barbie's house is just a couple miles down this road, so let's just bite this bullet, shall we?"

"I'm ready. Just let me check on the cherry cake, see if it's still in one piece after all this traveling."

Ennis knew she'd wrapped and buffered her gift for a fare-thee-well, and it would hold up even if it was being shipped to the moon. He was suddenly glad that she had forced him to accept her company on this trip. She was a real good woman, and he loved her. Loved her like a mother. She made him feel cherished and accepted for who he was, and she made him feel safe.

When they pulled up in front of Barbie's . . er KE's house, Ennis remembered all those cold nights of sleeping in the truck here. That was a long, long time ago. A lifetime ago. He was a man now. Not a little brother.

Ennis ran around to Mom's door to help her down. Then he picked up the cake and put it safely into her hands. By then the front door was opening as if someone had been watching for them.

"Uncle Ennis?"  
"Is it you?"  
"Are you my daddy's brother like he said?"  
"Is this your wife?"  
"How was your trip?"  
"Can I help ya with that box m'am?"

Charmed and disarmed, Ennis grinned from ear to ear, and by that time, KE was out on the porch. . . .poking, poking, poking along on a walker.

'Shit!' thought Ennis. 'My brother is old. But he's only . . '

"C'mere you! I'd know you anywhere, ya l'il scamp!" and KE grabbed Ennis in a bear hug that squeezed the breath out of him.

'Well, he ain't a weakling!' thought Ennis.

When they pulled back to look at each other, KE's eyes were kinda puddled up and Ennis suspected his were too. They still had some back pounding to do, and KE had to tousle his little brother's curls for old times sake, but once that flurry of affection was over, they reverted to men who didn't touch other men except to shake hands.

Ennis remembered his manners and turned to introduce KE to Mom, but she was busy talking to the twins. He smiled as he heard her say, "Cody, Corey, I'm your uncle Ennis' mother-in-law, and you can call me Mrs. Twist, or you can call me Gran, if ya want to. " She had relented and the cake was now being carried by Cody. . or Corey . . she wasn't at all sure which.

She came forward with some speed now that she noticed they were looking at her, up on the porch. Never one to hang back, Claire grabbed KE's free hand and told him how happy she was to make the acquaintance of her boy's family. "I'm happy to say I'm Mr. Ennis Del Mar's mother-in-law, and you can call me Claire."

She heard Ennis gasp, and turned to him. "Well now, Mom, KE's just a tiny bit older'n me and I don't think it's fittin for him to be callin you by your given name."

KE grinned and shuffled . . . and waited for a decision.

"Well darling boy, what would you suggest he call me that is FITTIN enough?" and she patted Ennis' arm in a motherly, affectionate way.

KE asked, "Uh, can we go inside while we decide this issue? I really oughta sit down about now."

"Sure, go ahead on, we'll be right there." advised Ennis.

They did some whispering, and nodding and head shaking . . and then they smiled. They opened the screen door and entered KE's and Barbie's neat living room.

"Ennis thinks it would be fine if you wanted to call me Mom Twist."

"Mom Twist it is, then" grinned KE. "A Pleasure to meet you. How'd you folks like to sit a spell and have some iced tea?"

"That sounds fine, long as you'll let me get it." suggested Claire.

He pointed her toward the kitchen, all the while explaining that Barbie was still working but would be home within the hour. She had not taken the day off since they didn't know what time Ennis would get there.

KE began 'You're wife . . ."

But Ennis cut in quickly with "Why in the world are you on a walker KE? What in the hell happened?"

Cody . . or Corey had put the cake on the kitchen table before KE ran them out and told them to let the adults talk for a change. Claire found the glasses, tea, and a tray. Soon she was setting the cold drinks on the coffee table, just in time to hear KE's story.

They all wet their whistle, and then he began. "Somebody shot me."

"What? Why? Well who was it?"

"It was Barbie."

'Jesus Christ, KE!" looking around for children's ears, Ennis apologized. "I'm sorry, that just slipped out."

"It's okay, baby brother, they've heard worse. . . on occasion. The whole thing was an accident. We were cleaning out the attic, and Barbie found some hunting rifles that her uncles had left up there, she hadn't known they were there. They were stacked along a wall, and she went to move a box and one of them fell over and discharged . . right where my pelvis happened to be. Shattered it in a gazillion pieces. After three surgeries, I can now walk, which is a big improvement let me tell you!"

"Well, I been waitin' for this opportunity all my life KE. Race ya to the corner!?" and Ennis slapped his knee and just thought that was the funniest thing he'd ever come up with.

"It'd be the first time ya ever managed ta beat me, and maybe ya couldn't even beat me now!"

Claire thought it was sweet how you couldn't take the sibling rivalry out of grown men, but before they came to blows or started wrassling on the floor, she thought she'd change the subject.

"Ennis is married to my son, Jack."

"Mom!"

"Well honey, I didn't know how else we were going to get it out there."

"You're queer, Ennis?"

"Well brother, guess I have to say I am."

"How's that workin' for ya; you and Jack?"

"Whu . . guess I don't know what you mean."

"Well, have you run into any gay-bashers, or have you had people refuse you service in a restaurant, or had your tires slit, or. . . ."

"KE, you seem to know a whole lot about it. We've had our rough times, yeah. But how do you know so much?"

"Well, Barbie and me . . . our oldest son is gay."

"Well, I'll be. Where is he, KE?"

"Him and his partner, Paul, had it up to here with Wyoming. . . so they lit out for San Francisco. It ain't perfect, but it's much better there, Ennis. We went out to visit them last Fall."

"The reason I'm here KE, is to invite you and your family to my daughter's weddin' . . it's in Riverton on June 5th at the Methodist Church. It'd mean the world to me if Junior could have a Del Mar uncle and his family come on her special day."

"Well, sure. I'll speak to Barbie . . .Junior?"

Ennis relaxed for the first time that day, and explained about how she was named Alma Junior, and the smile of pride and love on his face explained how special she was to her daddy.

They talked about Ennis' kids, and Jack's Bobby and all the family connections. Ennis said, "I wondered about your twins, they don't look very old, compared to my kids' ages. And I know Barbie was expecting way back last time I seen you two."

"Yeah, Noah is twenty now, he was 19 when him and Paul met."

Mom's head spun toward Ennis and she had such a smile on her face, that KE said, "what?"

"Ennis and Jack met when they were nineteen too."

"But each of you married and had kids?"

"Yeah, we did, KE. It's a long painful story. But we're through that now, and we are together. Neither one of us regrets having our kids, so what can we say?"

Mom asked, "KE, how old are the twins?"

"They are almost eleven. Their birthday is coming up, as a matter of fact, on your oldest daughter's wedding day."

"Speaking of Junior and Kurt's wedding, I was thinking I'd like to invite Maggie too. Are you in touch with her? You know how I can get hold of her?"

KE's face clouded up, and his eyes filled with angry tears. "Maggie and I have had a falling out. She suggested to me awhile back that I should set up an intervention for Noah, and make him take "the Cure". She's no longer welcome in my home."

TBC


	48. Chapter 48

A Better Idea - Chapter 48

June 8, 1984

Genre: BBM

Pairing: Ennis + Jack 4 Ever

Disclaimer: I created the OC's but not the O/S characters. They belong solely to the author, Annie Proulx, with some tweaking by Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana. No money is being made, nor fame and fortune of any kind.

Disclaimer #2: This story is unbeta'd so you have no one to blame but me for typos, errors or controversy.

Rating: The basic premise of ABI is that two men love each other. If you don't like m/m slash, you won't like ABI either.

A/N #1 - Huge THANK YOU to all my readers who are still hanging on. I will post the second half of this chapter in a few day - your patience is appreciated.

A/N #2 - I enjoy reading other author's fics, and they inspire me to continue to write. But this story, this ABI Universe is my original work. Any similarities, yadda, yadda, coincidence.

A/N #3 – Dedicated to the Memory of Heath Ledger; He will never be forgotten.

Feedback: You bet. () I hope you like it.

Chapter 48

Several minutes passed; Ennis was lying quietly on his side of the bed. His breath came in gasps at first, but slowly he was able to regain his normal composure. The sweat was beginning to cool and dry on his body.

"What's on your mind, Ennis? Why so quiet?"

"Thinking about us, bud. Bein' home in our own bed'n all. Just you'n me. After all these years."

"You mean how you still drive me so crazy, just one look from you has me panting?"

Reaching over to tweak Jack's nipple, he answers, "No, I mean how you still drive me so wild when you give me that "fuck me" look, I have to have you right then, right there. You're lucky that this time we made it to the bed!"

"Bed, floor, in a stall on the straw, makes me no never mind. When I need you, Cowboy, that's all I can think of."

Thoughtfully, Ennis appreciated the truth of this statement. "yup."

"Wasn't nothing better than rolling to the ground together back on Brokeback, right there in front of God and everybody. The dirt didn't matter; wherever we was . . ." Jack's voice dwindled off as in a dream.

Ennis looked at his lover's relaxed face, then rolled atop him. "You goin' asleep on me, Twist? What if I got more plans for you, boy?"

Jack squinted up at Ennis and his mouth crept up in a one-sided smile. "You got another round in you, old man? Bring it on!"

Forty minutes later, the pair was in the bathroom taking turns shaving, showering and uh, other things. Teeth brushed, hair combed, Jack slapped Ennis on the ass and said, "see you in the kitchen, I'll start the coffee."

Before he could take two steps, Ennis whirled on him and grabbed him in a tight clutch around his shoulders and chest. Standing firmly against Jack's back, Ennis turned his mate to the large mirror that was still a bit fogged up. Ennis put his head over Jack's left shoulder, and nuzzled their freshly shaved faces together. Beginning to hum "Here comes the bride" into Jack's ear, he said "Do you have any idea how much I love you, Jack?"

"That wedding's got you all sentimental again, ain't it?"

"I guess."

"I love you too, Ennis. But I hope you ain't goin' to get all mad and upset over this thing again. It hurts me to see you like that."

"It don't make you mad, Jack? That anyone and everyone, suited to each other or not, can get married, but we can't?"

"Well sugar" Oops, did I say that out loud? "No. I can truthfully say it don't bother me if ignorant people won't let us get married. I been married Ennis, it don't mean what you want it to mean, not all the time. You were married to Alma. Did that make your love last forever? Were you more in love because you said those vows and signed that paper?"

"No. But I was different, Jack. I'd already found the love of my life. It wasn't Alma's fault that our marriage didn't "cure me" of loving you. Nothing could do that, nothing ever will."

"I love you too, sugar. And I know seeing Junior in that white bridal gown, standing up there next to Kurt, making their vows in public really got to you;

both as her daddy, and as a man who loves another man but is not allowed to marry him."

"I don't mean to say that I resent Junior's right to marry her Kurt."

"Know that you don't, but it's never gonna happen that two men can marry each other, so please don't torture yourself over this again, Ennis. Please."

Their eyes met in that mirror, and Jack saw that Ennis was struggling with this truth, even as he attempted to resign himself to the facts. They were married in their own eyes, and those of their families, and he'd have to be content with that. Forever.

Ennis ran his thumb down Jack's jaw, and then squeezed him one more time before saying "Y'gotta go. Your husband needs his coffee."

Stopping at the doorway, Jack said "Ennis?"

"Yeah?"

"If the day ever comes, you know, that we could get married?"

"Yeah?"

"I know you'd look lovely in a lacey white wedding gown."

Before Jack could duck, he had a soggy bath towel slapping up the side of his head. He laughed, he ran . . . and they began their day.

&

Three days earlier, everyone was in Riverton making their preparations to go to the Methodist Church for the three p.m. Del Mar – Rawlins wedding. The pews reserved for Family already were festooned with big white ribbons and seasonal blooms. In this case, it was a mixture of baby's breath and purple and yellow violets.

The organist and Jenny had practiced one last time this morning, and now both were resting and waiting . . . their clothes for the wedding hanging on padded hangers on the door hooks in their rooms.

Monroe and his crew of caterers had worked all morning on this the wedding day itself, in order that everything would be fresh this afternoon. They combined melon balls and berries for the fruit salad, several plates of sliced cheeses, trays of assorted crackers, and tiny chicken salad sandwiches. It was all wrapped and tucked away in the church hall's refrigerators, already in serving bowls and platters. There was nothing else to be done but enjoy it.

The father of the bride was perusing the Registry of the Jack's Pine Motel to see who was checked in and who was not. Ennis would not allow himself to admit which name he was seeking over all the others; which one would make his happiness complete . . . because he was not sure she would come today.

He knew that KE and his family were here, Ennis' heart was full of gladness over having his brother with him for this occasion. He had taken them to meet Junior and Kurt yesterday morning. Never having a Del Mar relative before in her life, Junior hadn't been sure what to expect from the uncle and aunt. She needn't have worried. KE didn't look exactly like her daddy, but he sure sounded like him, and some of his gestures were spot on images of Ennis.

His wife, Barbie, was warm and generous; a real sweetheart. Within thirty minutes of having met the young couple, Aunt "B", as she'd asked them to call her, had offered to lend Junior a silver ankle bracelet for the wedding. She already had the somethings old, new, and blue. So now she'd solved the "something borrowed" requirement. Unlike her usual reserved self, Junior leaned in to her new aunt and kissed her cheek. "Thank you, Aunt "B", I'd be honored to wear your ankle bracelet for our wedding."

The twins missed their older brother Noah terribly, so they took to Kurt like white on rice. They asked him a million questions, and Kurt gamely answered them, as well as riddles, puns, and lots of silly knock knock jokes. Junior couldn't help but admire him and think what a wonderful father he would be some day.

Ennis suggested that they all have an early lunch together as the rehearsal dinner wouldn't be for hours yet. Later this evening, more of the out-of-towners would have arrived, and there would be so many to meet and greet.

The only nervous moment Ennis had allowed himself was when he introduced Jack to KE. Of course, KE had already met Claire, and was quite taken with her for her outspoken love and support of her boys, and the way she had won over his twins in the blink of an eye.

Both groups met outside the Main Street Café as Ennis had planned. KE and his wife greeted Mom affectionately and then were introduced to John.

KE's eyes sought and held Jack's as he reached out to shake the hand of the man Ennis loved. Jack Twist eagerly shook his "new" brother-in-laws hand. Both men unnecessarily told their own name.

"Twenty-one years." Stated KE.

"Yeah, twenty-one years." Confirmed Jack, and then he blushed.

Barbie wasn't having any of this formality. She rushed over and threw her arms around Jack and squeezed him tight. "You couldn't possibly know how glad I am to meet you, Jack Twist."

Jack ducked his head, and said "I think I might have an idea though."

Barbie clasped Ennis and Jack's hands in hers and looked from one to the other. "You're making it happen, and that gives me such new hope for Noah and Paul."

John was teasing the twins about having taught their Uncle Ennis everything he knew about horses. KE overheard and decided to let it go for now. He was more interested in watching the family dynamics between the Twist parents, Ennis and Jack, and Ennis' daughter Junior and her soon to be husband. He noted the love and respect that shone from face to face and the affectionate way the three generations of family members touched each other so frequently and freely. Even the fiancé'. KE knew Ennis was making up for lost time, having a family of his own to replace the one they'd lost so many years ago. KE recognized it, because it had been important for him to do the same thing.

_In the two weeks between the brothers first visit at Shoshoni, and this one the day before the wedding in Riverton, they still did not write letters to each other. They had, however, spent a lot of money with Ma Bell, the telephone company. _

_They each brought the other up to speed on where they'd been, what they'd done, and KE finally understood that his brother and Jack were still honeymooners. Most of their years "together" . . . they were not actually together. But he also could recognize in Ennis' voice that the connection and the love was born twenty one years ago, and they counted themselves as together since then, no matter their struggles or their marriages. _

The group enjoyed a light lunch served by both Brenda and Seth, as this was the only time of day that their schedules overlapped. Afterwards, Ennis and Jack showed the Del Mar family the mural across the street in the post office.

"1942, you say?" KE asked.

"Yep." Jack and Ennis confirmed in unison.

"Jesus Christ_, _this artist nailed you both and you didn't even exist yet."

"nope."

Following all the back-slapping and head bobbing, everyone left to run errands, or rest in their rooms, or in Barbie's case, she was going to take the twins to the park to run off some of that eleven year old energy. KE hadn't admitted it, but she could tell that he was worn out from excitement and pushing himself to continue the visiting and partying. He could use a nap or some time with his feet up, before the rehearsal dinner later tonight.

Junior and Kurt needed to double check all the details for the rehearsal in the church tonight, and for the informal barbeque style rehearsal dinner for such a large crowd. Most of the Rawlins side of the family would be arriving in the next two or three hours, so there was no time to lose.

&

The rehearsal went well. Junior wore jeans and her favorite brown blouse that showed off her eyes. Her veil was made from a paper plate, with streamers of ribbons that had come off her many shower gifts.

Her bouquet was a smaller paper plate and more ribbons trailing all colors and shiny surfaces.

Her bridesmaids all wore jeans and pastel shirts, and carried folded comic pages from the Sunday papers, artfully disguised as colorful nosegays. Alma had showed the girls how to make these a few days before at a Bridal Tea for Junior.

TBC


	49. Chapter 49

A Better Idea - Chapter 48.2

June 8, 1984

Genre: BBM

Pairing: Ennis + Jack 4 Ever

Disclaimer: O/S characters belong solely to the author, Annie Proulx, with some tweaking by Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana. No money is being made by this author, nor fame and fortune of any kind.

Disclaimer #2: **This story is unbeta'd. I would appreciate it if you would send me an email to alert me to any typos, or errors. Thanks!**

Rating: The basic premise of ABI is that two men love each other. If you don't like m/m slash, you won't like ABI either.

A/N #1 - Huge THANK YOU to all my readers who are still hanging on. Your patience is greatly appreciated.

**A/N #2 – Dedicated to the Memory of Heath Ledger; He will never be forgotten by this writer.**

Feedback: You bet. () I hope it brings you peace.

Chapter 48.2

Back at the Twist Ranch, following the visit to KE's family in Shoshoni, Ennis and Mom put their heads together to see if they could just as successfully find Maggie.

Ennis had few facts to go on, but he knew that Maggie had married her widowed employer in Casper, Wyoming. Seemed his name was Joe something. Joe Carpenter . . . Joe Carver . . Joe Cook .. . Joe Cooper. That sounded right, it was an occupation, and Joe Cooper sounded like something he'd heard before. With nothing more to go on than that, Ennis tried the operator again, but was dismayed to find that there were 18 Joseph Cooper's in the Casper directory.

Discouraged, Ennis didn't know what to try next. He wasn't even sure they had remained in Casper; they could be anywhere. "Didn't your brother say he'd been in touch with her recently or at least within the past year?"

asked Mom. "We could just ask KE how to get in touch with her; you been talking to him every couple of days anyway."

Ennis' looked reluctant, his eyes downcast. "I just don't know, Mom. Might not be the way to go about it. You didn't see his face when he told me what she said to him."

Claire's face brightened, and she said, "Well, maybe Barbie can help us, She might not feel as strong against Maggie as KE does. . . then again, she might.

All we can do is ask."

They called right away because it was Barbie's day off, and the sooner Ennis got this information and made contact with his sister, the better he'd feel.

Barbie was home, she had the contact information that they needed, but she didn't feel good about passing it on to them. Still, she valued family and she was proud of Ennis for reaching out this way, so she told them what they needed to know.

His call was answered by a child who said that her mother was not at home, but was expected home from grocery shopping within the hour. She said her daddy was home, but was sleeping. "May I take a message for mama?"

"What is your name? How old are you?"

"I'm Rebecca Cooper, and I'm 12."

"If your mother's name is Maggie, then I am your uncle. Uncle Ennis Del Mar. Please have my sister call me." He left his number and waited nervously for Maggie to call him back.

When Maggie returned Ennis' call, she was distracted and flustered. She agreed to see her youngest brother the next day. She didn't say it out loud but she had no notion why all of a sudden, he decided that he cared a fig about her.

Ennis and Mom arrived at the large old house in the early afternoon on an overcast day. The cherry cake was solidly packed; the box heavy in her arms as Claire led Ennis up the front walk. They saw a curtain move in one of the bay windows as they approached the first of three steps. The hand rail was solid under Ennis' hand as he guided Mom up to the porch with a hand under her elbow.

He raised his hand to knock on the door, but it was jerked open before he could make contact. "You're Mr. Del Mar?" asked a young man of about 15 years.

Ennis flinched from the abrupt tone of the fellow, and nodded his head. "Hmm."

"Mama said you're to come on in and set a spell. She'll be down directly."

They were led to a clean but spare parlor. He indicated they should sit, and then he left them. Mom held the cake on her lap as she gingerly perched on the edge of the scratchy old sofa. Ennis held his hat on his lap and tapped his feet as he sat in a side chair.

Five minutes passed, that felt like five hours, and Claire stood to set the cake on the coffee table. She walked around the room checking out the framed photos on the mantle and on a side table.

Suddenly she was there. No sound had preceded her arrival. But she was in the room before Ennis could stand to greet her. Maggie knelt in front of him and threw her arms around his shoulders. "Brother, brother", she murmured lovingly as she looked into his face, and ran her hands through his hair. Ennis was back in his childhood immediately, feeling the caring that came from this sister. He stood, pulling her up with him, and embraced her tightly.

"What's wrong Ennis? What made you seek me out?"

Ennis turned Maggie slightly and held out his arm. "Mom, I'd like you to know my sister, Maggie Del . . uh Cooper."

His sister hadn't realized that Ennis was not alone, and was briefly confused, seeing this older woman. Claire rushed forward, took her hand and said "I'm so happy to make your acquaintance, my dear. I am Claire Twist, Ennis' mother-in-law."

The younger woman welcomed them both, and asked them to sit. Maggie pulled up a side chair next to Ennis, and never taking her hands from him, kept looking at him as if she couldn't believe it was really him after all this time. He picked up her hand and kissed it . . . a bit self conscious, because they had not had this kind of relationship when they were children. But he'd had much love since then, and had learned to show more affection.

"You asked me why I was here, Mags. I had a special reason to look you up. My oldest daughter is getting married soon, and I suddenly wanted my own family there too, if I could find you."

"No, you don't mean it! My baby brother has a child old enough to marry?!"

"Yep, I sure do."

"Where will the wedding be held, Ennis?"

"At the Methodist Church in Riverton."

Maggie grew thoughtful, and dropped her eyes to her hands, now clenched in her lap. "Mercy me" she said, "where are my manners?"

Maggie offered coffee or tea, and Mom mentioned the cherry cake she'd brought special for this occasion. She sent them to freshen up after their long drive, and directed them to come to the kitchen when they were ready.

Claire dilly-dallied in the parlor looking at photographs again, because she did not want to be alone with Maggie until Ennis had broken the news to his sister. She remembered how she had blurted out the truth at KE's house, and knew that this time it should be handled differently. She would follow whatever lead Ennis provided. As soon as she heard his boot steps entering the kitchen, she joined them.

She sliced the cake, while Maggie poured iced tea into tall glasses. When they were all comfortably seated at the big round table, Maggie began. "I'm not sure I can make a trip like that, Ennis. You see, I ain't never done much traveling and now . . . well."

"If it's the money, my ex-wife or some of her people in town could likely put you up for a couple days. You and your husband, a course."

"It's not that simple, Ennis. Please, come with me for a moment. Claire, you are certainly welcome to come too."

The party of three ascended the stairs; Maggie was quiet on the way up.

The floorboards groaned and complained as they walked past an open door, and then another.

At the third door, Maggie rapped twice and opened the door a crack. She peered in, and then opened the door wide. An ashen faced man lay in the bed. Ennis wondered if he was dead, but then he saw his chest move.

"Joe, honey, we got company. My little brother Ennis has come to visit, and brought his mother-in-law with him. Joe?"

As Claire and Ennis looked on, the man moved not a hair, not an eyelash.

Maggie straightened Joe's blankets and touched his face, but again, there was no response. For all intents and purposes, Maggie's husband appeared to be asleep.

Back downstairs, Claire was pouring them all more iced tea when Ennis asked Maggie, "How long has he been this way? What happened to him?"

"It's been nearly three years now. It was an accident at work, he fell and hit his head."

"How are you getting by, without his salary, Mags?"

'Not very well, actually. The company paid the hospital bills but only after I signed a waiver stating that I would not sue them for unsafe conditions. Luckily Joe had purchased a Disability Policy through his benefits package, but it only provides for 60 of his salary."

"Joe cannot be left alone. We'd lose him if he didn't have round the clock care, and I'm the primary caregiver. So I cannot work outside the home which makes it tough financially. I do take in a bit of washing and ironing for a few of the neighbors, but that's it."

"Our fifteen year old son, Daniel, has taken a job after school to try to help make ends meet. That was him, earlier when you arrived. He let you in as he left for work. And Rebecca baby-sits some, for her own spending money and school clothes. I don't know what I would have done if it weren't for the children. They have such strength. But I'm sure you know that with your own children."

Maggie checked her watch, and then excused herself to go see to Joe. It was part of the problem that he couldn't call out to her if he needed help breathing or anything. . .so she had to check on him regularly.

When she returned, Maggie once again circled Ennis' shoulders and hugged him sweetly. "Now tell me about you, and your family. Ennis, I can't believe you're really here!"

"Maggie, I came in person to ask you to the wedding because I wanted you to know the situation before you made the trip to Riverton."

"The situation? Are you suggesting that the bride has a little bun in the oven a bit ahead of schedule? That's not unusual, Ennis."

"No, Maggie, nothing like that. It's just that my wife and I split up about nine years ago. She's remarried and has a couple of boys with her new husband. I lived alone and miserable for many years but now I'm with my best friend, the one I've loved since I was 19."

"That's wonder . . ." Maggie began but Ennis forestalled her.

"I'm with Jack Twist, Mom's son. We're married."

Maggie spluttered, "A man? Men can't marry each other. What are you saying, Ennis?"

"I'm saying Maggie, that Jack and I, together with her mother, will give away our oldest daughter on June 5th, at the Methodist Church. And I'm saying that you're invited, if you want to come and share this happy occasion with my family. It would mean a lot to me and Junior if you would come."

Just about swooning now, Maggie said "Junior?"

"The Bride, our oldest daughter, is named Alma Jr. after her mama."

At this point, Claire whipped out a packet of family pictures. She showed Maggie pictures of Junior and Kurt, Jenny, Jack and Bobby and a group picture from the Mother's Day party. She slowed as she came upon a picture of Ennis and Jack gazing into each other's eyes and smiling at each other. She'd snapped it as they put the final touches on the clean-up at that lovely party room at the Jack-Pine.

Staring disbelievingly at the photo, Maggie began "I don't think I can condone such . . . . What's this, Claire?"

"That's a picture of the pineapple cake we made in honor of your mother,

Elnora Rose McCain Del Mar for our Mother's Day party."

Maggie hugged Claire for the first time, and held on tight. "I can't believe you'd do such a wonderful thing."

"Maggie, Ennis misses your mother something awful and I imagine you do too. She did such a good job that her children grew up to be fine, upstanding citizens. You, Ennis and KE are living testaments to the kind of woman she was. We couldn't honor every other mother in our extended family, and leave Ellie out."

"You know KE?"

"Yes, I sure do. We visited KE and Barbie awhile back. Such a fine family. And those twins? Cute as bugs, they are. We did not meet Noah, but we saw a picture of him. He's on a walker, you know."

"Noah's on a walker? Why?"

"No. KE's on a walker. He'd been shot."

At Maggie's look of alarm, Claire hastened to tell her that KE was fine, and that he was getting along well. "It was a freak accident."

Maggie looked at Ennis. "Can I talk to you privately?"

Claire stood and explained that she would be in the parlor if they needed her.

Maggie and Ennis were seated at the table, she reached over and covered his hand and squeezed gently. "Honey, what were you thinking? You can't go against society's rules . . men cannot be together, everyone knows that."

"KE told me what you said to him about Noah, Maggie. I couldn't believe you could be so cold to your own family. But I guess I was wrong. You seem to care more about what other people th. . ."

Just then, a baby gurgled and cooed somewhere in the house. Maggie's face froze. She looked at Ennis' face to see if he had heard. He had, but he didn't really know what it meant, why it affected Maggie so drastically. The child, tired of entertaining herself, began to call, "Mama, mama." Maggie just sat there at the table as if paralyzed.

Claire walked into the kitchen carrying an 11 month old girl who was fascinated with her earrings. "Look who I found." She said.

Maggie awoke from her trance-like state. Rising and reaching for the child, she said, "Have a good nap, Rose? Come to mama, honey." She busied herself making a little lunch for the girl, of soft finger foods. While the child fed herself from the highchair tray, Maggie fingered her curls, but there was no controlling them. Her eyes did not meet Ennis' again.

"Is this your child, Maggie? But how could she be, she's colored." said Ennis.

"Please don't use that term, Ennis!" Maggie snapped at her brother.

"Surely you have not been buried so deep in the mountains these past twenty one years that you don't realize that is a hurtful term."

"Uh, well. What should I call her then?"

"My daughter, Rose, is bi-racial."

"Hmmm, but Maggie, your husband looked real white to me."

"Ennis don't be so dense! Joe has not awakened in nearly three years; he has been incapable of fathering any child."

Ennis Del Mar just stared at the diamond shaped patterns on the vinyl flooring of Maggie's kitchen and said "Oh."

His silence invited someone to fill the void. Mom was minding her P's and Q's and said nothing. This was not her family, and she had no say in what happened. Maggie said, "Well, I have to change her, and nurse her. I'll be back in a minute."

When Maggie took Rose from the room, there was still this large silence. Mom looked at Ennis and they both just raised their eyebrows and shrugged their shoulders. They were not going ahead with this . . . they'd let Maggie herself fill in the blanks.

Soon his sister returned with a fresh and clean baby. She threw a shawl over one shoulder and unbuttoned the top buttons of her blouse, positioning the baby under the shawl. Every once in a while little slurping noises emitted from under the shawl, and it was a comforting sound to all.

"Alma breast fed both of our girls." Ennis offered. When no comment was returned, he looked in Maggie's face and said, "You named her Rose."

"Her name is actually Elnora Rose, like our mother. Mommy always wanted to be called Rose, did you know that Ennis?"

"Um, yeah, I did." And he smiled at Maggie, and reached over to hold the baby's curled fist. She promptly wrapped her little fingers around her uncle's finger. That made him smile again with memories of his own babies doing the same.

Maggie pulled the baby out from under the shawl and put her on her shoulder. Ennis said, "Uh, you want me to burp her for ya?"

"I would, Ennis, that would be really nice, except she's a spitter. She spits up at the most unexpected times, especially when you're wearing a clean shirt."

"I'll chance it. I've smelled like sour milk before, you know. C'mere Rose, come to Uncle Ennis." Mom stood up and spread a clean dish towel over Ennis' shoulder before he put the baby up there.

While Ennis was rubbing circles on Rose' back, Maggie began to talk. "After Joe's accident, all the neighbors were so kind and helpful. They brought the expected casseroles, and cakes, and asked if there was anything they could do for me. I had only to call and ask they said. . .but little by little after such a long time of no improvement, they began to drift back to their own lives and their own concerns. All but one."

Rose gave Ennis his reward, a loud, lusty burp emitted from the tiny creature. They all three laughed; Maggie said she usually burped twice before continuing to nurse. Ennis resumed patting circles on her back again.

"As I was saying, only one neighbor remained faithful to my plight, and that was Rudolph Henderson. Dolph came by at least three times a week. He went straight to the barn and got the cranky old tractor going, and he mowed. He cleared brush, fixed the handrail on the porch, and replaced dead plants with lively new ones. He fixed my truck when it broke down, and little by little he began to fix me."

Rose burped again, and this time she did spit up a bit. Maggie got a blue wash cloth, wet it and wrung it out and went to wipe Ennis' shirt clean, but the tea towel had caught most of the milk, so it was okay.

As she put Rose to her other breast, Maggie began again, staring off into some pleasant distance where a new relationship was blooming and sending out tender shoots. Unconsciously she rocked Rose, while feeding her and telling her story.

"After Dolph had maintained this property for me, for nearly a year, I began to walk down to wherever he was working, and bring him a cool drink, or a sandwich, or a piece of cake. I'd sit and talk awhile; I was starved for adult, human conversation. He was the only person in my life who didn't need me to take care of him, you see. And it felt wonderful to be taken care of."

"Maggie, let me get you a glass of tea, or would you prefer water?" offered Claire.

"Water would be great, thanks Claire. One evening in the late fall I insisted he come in for supper. It was the least I could do, but truthfully, I'd have said anything to get him to stay longer, to be with me. The children saw all this happening, but in their innocence, they just saw neighborliness. I was much beyond that, and as I discovered, so was he."

"I was worn out taking care of Joe, and seeing to the house, cooking, laundry and caring for the children, but there was a bright spot now in every day. I had something, no someone, to look forward to. He has a wry sense of humor, and is most generous in bringing me the news of the community, and of the world. He became my eyes and ears to the outside since I could never leave the house."

"Maggie, you don't owe us an explanation for what you've done, nor why you've done it. You're an adult, and can choose your own path." said her brother.

"No, I know. It's just that I've never had a chance to talk about him before, to anyone and I need this . . .if you don't mind listening."

Ennis gave a sidelong glance to Mom, she nodded, and he turned to Maggie and said . . . "welp, go on."

"No one would condone our being together. He's a black man, and I'm a married white woman. But it's the first right thing that's ever come to me in my whole entire life. I love him something fierce."

"The first right thing? What about Joe, your husband?" asked Ennis.

"Joe Cooper is a decent man, or he was before he was injured. He was good to me, and we made a life together. It was convenient, it made sense. I thought I loved him, but once I discovered real love, I realized that what I felt for Joe was gratitude. You know how desperate we were, Ennis. Hungry and desperate. Joe saved me."

Ennis hung his head and looked off into the shadowy distance of twenty-one years. "I've never heard a better explanation for why I married Alma, Mags. It was never her fault that I loved someone else before I even married her; someone I didn't think I could or should be with."

There was complete silence in the room except for occasional sucking sounds from Rose.

Ennis went on, "That is why I was so happy, or relieved, or proud, or something when I heard KE tell about Noah having the courage to be with his friend. Times have changed, but that's not the whole reason Noah and I had such different lives."

"KE told me about what dad took you two to see."

"When did he tell you? When we were kids?"

"No, the last time I saw him. I was horrified at the kind of man our father must have been. I knew he was cold and sometimes mean, but I never dreamed he'd go that far. Hate is an ugly thing, Ennis."

"I think it's time we talked about something more pleasant than our dad. So tell us more about your man. What's going to happen with you two?"

"Well, I want to go public with our relationship: live together, go to town and shop together, worship together, but Dolph is fearful for my sake. He knows how hate works, has seen it first hand as you have."

Maggie took Rose up and wiped a bit of milk from her mouth, then handed her to her brother. "Here Uncle Ennis. I need to start supper."

While Ennis patted the babies back, and Maggie bustled around pulling food from the larder and refrigerator she continued to talk. Mom, never could sit and be a useless person, so she rose and took the vegetables and the peeler from Maggie's hands and began helping with the task.

"What do your children think of all this? About you and Dolph, I mean?"

"Well, our youngest two, Joe's and mine, are very supportive of me. They like that I have someone to talk to and who appreciates my efforts and can see when I am fatigued. That was a lot of pressure on them to be little adults. Now they don't have to be grown up all the time."

"But I am afraid the older ones, who I raised with Joe after Kathryn died, do not feel the same way."

"Kids can be tough, and they can break your heart. Thankfully, Junior, Jenny and Bobby are very comfortable with Jack and I, and support us in every way. Course' they are getting older now and have matured some."

"Bobby is Jack's son by a previous marriage?"

Ennis had never heard it phrased that way, and he blushed. "Yeah, he is. But he's mine now too, just as the girls are Jack's."

Mom smiled a big smile and continued peeling vegetables. Then she decided to take part in this particular conversation. "And now John and I are blessed with three grandchildren who really light up our life! A few years ago, we had only one down in Texas that we'd never met."

Maggie stopped kneading the bread and turned a smile on Claire. "What do they call you, Claire?"

Ennis realized with a wry laugh at himself, that it did not bother him to have Maggie calling Mom 'Claire' but remembered how uncomfortable he was when she asked KE to call her by her given name. 'Is it because she's a woman? Or because she's older?' he wondered.

Claire responded to Maggie's question with a bright, happy smile. "I love that you asked me that, because I gave it some thought when Bobby was born, and I couldn't come up with anything in particular. But before he came up to Wyoming, I decided I wanted him to call me Gran. Now it's my name.

Bobby, Junior, and Jenny all call me Gran, and I do believe Kurt will do so as well. My blessings are multiplying."

"As for John, he has been called quite a few names."

Ennis laughed at this, but kept quiet. This was Mom's story, after all.

"Sometimes he's called grandpa, and other times 'old man', but the name that lights up the smile in his eyes is the name Jenny calls him, 'Poppa'. She has a special place in his heart, I believe. But she spent a lot of time with us when Ennis was laid up, and so was John."

Maggie turned around and looked searchingly at Claire and at Ennis, but they both said the story was much too long for this visit. Ennis tilted his head towards the baby on his shoulder and said "I believe our Rose is asleep."

Mom stood and came over to Ennis, "Come honey, I'll show you where I found her and you can put her down."

Maggie put the loaves of bread into the oven, and set the timer. She was filling the soup pot when Claire and Ennis returned. She put it on a medium flame, and turned to Claire. "How's the chopping going, need some help?"

Claire showed her progress, and Maggie took the carrots and dropped them into the water. She pulled a beef bone out of the freezer and put it in the pot as well. Maggie asked Ennis if he would go down to the cellar and bring up a couple jars of tomatoes, one of corn and one of green beans. While he was gone, Maggie pulled a large yellow onion out of the bin, and began to peel and chop it. That went into the soup pot as well. Claire finished with the potatoes, leaving them in fairly large chunks, and those went into the pot too. A few dried bay leaves followed the vegetables, and then the jars were opened that Maggie had canned last fall from Dolph's garden, and those vegetables went into the pot along with generous amounts of salt, pepper and garlic. The lid was set on the pot, askew to allow for steam to escape, and

they all replenished their iced tea glasses.

"Dolph will be home within the hour, Ennis. I'd like you and Claire to meet him. It would mean a lot to me."

"Maggie, I would like to meet your Dolph. But in the same way, I want you to meet Jack, and my kids, and . . . you know. Be a part of the family at the wedding. But we have some hard feelings in our family, and I think you will need to deal with those first."

"Hard feelings, Ennis?"

"Yes. 'Course we do. You know what you said to KE about Noah. How would you feel if he came to your house and said Rose needed to be cured of being racially mixed?"

"Well, that's ridiculous, Ennis. Rose had no choice in the matter, she was born that way."

"Exactly."

"Are you saying that Noah was born queer?"

"Please don't use that term!" snapped Ennis at his sister. "I know it's in common usage, but it's still hurtful."

"Okay, I respect your wishes on that, just as you respected mine."

"Fine." Huffed Ennis.

"Fine." Stated Maggie.

"I think what Ennis is trying to explain Maggie, is that Noah, like my Jack was born with the tendency to be attracted to men, more than women. He was born homosexual. They did not choose this, it just is. Like Rose' color."

"I always heard it was a choice."

"Well, it's not."

"Okay. But what about you, Ennis? Were you born homosexual too?"

"I say no! But Jack says I was."

"But . . .?"

"See, I was never attracted to a man before Jack, nor since Jack for that matter. Never. So all these years, I've been telling Jack that I ain't queer. Sorry, that just slipped out. But now that we are together, trying to make that sweet life he was always talking about, I feel I'm finally in the right place. . . making a home and a life with a man. . with Jack. So, I have to say I am homosexual, and I musta been born this way, for I surely to God wouldn't have chosen to love someone that everyone says I shouldn't."

Maggie stated in a very quiet voice. "I know what you mean."

She continued, "But I do love him so what am I to do?"

The brotherly advice flowed out without hesitation. "Follow your heart, is what I've learned. You need to follow your heart before it's too late."

Dolph came in and brought Rebecca with him. Daniel would eat when he got off work at seven o'clock tonight. By that time, Mom and Ennis would be on the road, it was a two to three hour drive back to Lightning Flat.

The meal was eaten in the dining room, first time they'd used it since Joe's accident. Claire dusted the table, and set it for five places. She filled the water glasses. Rebecca filled the tea glasses, and Ennis and Dolph carried in the heavy bowls and platters.

As unexpected as this gathering was for every one of them, it was comfortable, even joyful. Rose joined them, sat in her high chair and

mashed food into her hair, and everywhere she could reach. They all laughed a lot, and enjoyed each other's company. They had cherry cake for dessert, and Maggie and Rebecca begged for the recipe.

After supper Ennis called Jack 'collect' and told him that he missed him so much he could hardly stand it. He told him they'd be in late, but they would come home tonight. "I'll tell you all about it when I see you. I love you, Jack."

It was full dark by the time they hit Gillette, so they knew they had to be especially watchful for antelope and free range cattle on the road tonight.

They filled the gas tank, made a restroom stop and drank a cool drink before getting back on the road.

A couple miles outside of Rocky Point, Mom asked Ennis, "Do you think they'll come to the wedding?"

"I don't know. It's Maggie's decision; Dolph would come. But Mags has some damage control to do with her brother and sister-in-law. I'm going to pencil them in for a room in the block of rooms I've got reserved at the Jack Pine.

Just in case."

Dad and Jack were sitting on the front porch when they heard the tires of Jack's truck crunching the gravel in the lane. They were both excited. They had missed that special person who makes their heart beat a little faster and they were ready to be back in their arms.

"Purty pathetic, ain't it?" said John.

"What is?"

"Us, sittin out here, waitin like a couple a love sick suitors."

"Well, if the shoe fits . . . " and then they laughed.

Ennis climbed out of Jack's truck and went around to help Mom down. They were both stiff from riding, and very tired after such a long, emotional day.

As they approached the porch, Mom asked, "Son, you ain't got no more siblings, do you?"

Ennis just grinned.

John had made some sassafras tea, and some lemonade. Everyone got a cold drink and sat on the porch to wind down. Mom said, "Ennis Del Mar, you know I was just teasing you. After what we've been through finding KE and now Maggie, I'd go with you to find six more brothers and sisters if you had'em."

Standing and taking Jack's hand, he said, "I know you would, Mom; me too. Jack 'n me is gonna head on home now, I kinda missed this fella today. Goodnight, sleep tight."

Once home, Ennis told Jack that he had to shower the road dust off himself, then he'd be right back. Ennis quickly showered and washed his hair, then brushed his teeth. He walked naked into the bedroom to see Jack stripping. "I'll take my turn, and be back in eleven and a half seconds. Don't start without me, Cowboy."

Ennis leaned over and picked up Jack's dirty clothes and his own and put them in the hamper. He leaned over again to pick up his boots and set them in the closet as a full set of 32 teeth clamped down on his ass. Uh?

Jack was back. He saw something he liked, and the rest is, as they say, history. There was a bit of wrestling on their bed that night. Then some tender loving as each man told how they really didn't like spending a day without the other, and showing it.

"I learned a lot today, Jack."

"Ya did?"

"Yeah, tell you about it tomorrow. But the main thing is that I love you and I found out that I like telling people that I care about, that I love you."

Jack was lying on his back, head propped up on one pillow, and Ennis' chest had him pinned down. He lowered his head onto Jack's shoulder and snuggled up into his neck where the most tender spot is, kissing and nuzzling. Jack ran his fingers through Ennis' hair, and pulled his face up for a kiss.

"Ain't you sleepy yet, Ennis? Cause I sure am."

"Yeah, I am too. Goodnight, Jack. C'mere." And they kissed goodnight again and snuggled into comfortable sleeping positions. Two minutes later, Ennis said "Jack, are you asleep?"

"Huh? Yeah, I am."

"But Jack, you know what we need?"

"Hell yes, I know what we need. We need some sleep."

silence

"Okay Ennis, I'm listening. What do we need?"

"We need to have a baby. Goodnight, Jack."

#

End of chapter 48.2


	50. Chapter 50

A Better Idea - Chapter 48.3

Genre: BBM

Pairing: Ennis + Jack 4 Ever

Disclaimer 1: main characters belong to Annie Proulx

No money is being made here, nor fame nor fortune.

Disclaimer 2: This story is unbeta'd. Please let me know about any typos, or errors. Thanks!

Rating: The basic premise of ABI is that two men love each other. If you don't like m/m slash, you won't like ABI either.

A/N 1 – It makes me happy that so many of you are still reading and enjoying our boys.

A/N 2 – Dedicated to the Memory of Heath Ledger; He will never be forgotten. Never.

A/N 3 - Definition of FAMILY: "we decide for ourselves who and what makes up our family; if it works, and it makes us happy, it's nobody else's business." Judy

Feedback: You bet. Jay Gee Kay Four Two At SBCGlobal Dot Net

I hope my story brings you peace.

Chapter 48.3

Maggie came to the wedding; she brought her two older children, Daniel and Rebecca. Rose stayed home with Dolph and a goodly supply of milk, expressed and frozen by Maggie over the week before her trip to Riverton. Dolph had previously watched over Joe for short periods of time when Maggie had to be somewhere else for the children, or once when she had the flu for several days, so when this wedding invitation was suddenly offered he stepped up again and agreed to care for Joe so Maggie could be with her new found family.

Ennis was glad he had saved a room for her at the Jackpine. However, Alma insisted they come and stay with her after the wedding day was over. After all, Junior's room would be available. Besides, Alma had always wanted to get to know her sister-in-law. Ennis hadn't ever said very much about her, but when he did, it was always with great warmth. He'd been more circumspect about KE, but now the two brothers were thick as thieves, she noted.

Junior was radiant, walking down the aisle on Ennis' arm. Her daddy had agreed to come to her in the Brides' Room. He was nervous as a cat, but looking handsome in his dark chocolate brown suit, white shirt, with a brown, grey and blue striped tie. His boots were brown and gleamed like the soft leather they were. He couldn't get over how beautiful she looked, how grown up, how . . . she was a woman. He ran his curled fingers down her face, and called her his angel one more time, wished his li'l darlin well in her married life, and told her all the things daddies tell their daughters at such a time.

Just then, Jack peeked into the room asking if everyone was "decent". The bridesmaids were dressed and gone so the coast was clear. Jack was wearing a charcoal grey suit, with a white shirt and a black, grey and blue striped tie that matched Ennis'. His boots were black and shined like mirrors. He came in and did the daddy speech all over again, but not like Ennis had. The three of them hugged thinking how after this day, everything would be different, and yet, the same. Pretty soon, they were all teary eyed.

Alma came back in and shooed the men away, then dabbed at Junior's eyes. 'No streaking mascara is going to ruin this girl's wedding pictures', she vowed to herself. She was the mother of the bride, and she was prepared for everything.

When Junior looked good as new, Alma went to the door and waved in Maggie and Rebecca. Junior's Aunt Maggie carried a small drawstring bag and placed it in her niece's hand. She told her that the locket inside had belonged to her mother, Ellie. "See, here's a tiny picture of her and our daddy on their wedding day. I think it would be a beautiful tradition if all the brides in our family would wear this locket on their wedding day. Today it will be you, then Jenny some day, and later Rebecca will wear it on her wedding day, and so on."

Maggie didn't mention that the "and so on" part of her proposal included a daughter she hadn't brought with her, nor mentioned. She was not going to hide Rose from her family, but all the details of the intervening twenty one years would come, all in good time. Junior should be the focus today.

Junior thanked Maggie as she peered at the small pictures in the gold locket. She could not tell much about either grandparent, but asked her aunt to help her clasp it. When the older woman had done so, she turned Junior by the shoulders, so she could see herself in the full length mirror thoughtfully provided by the church ladies' auxiliary. Every bride needs a full length mirror on this special day in her young life. When she stared unbelieving at her reflection, Rebecca let out a breath she'd been holding, and said "Cousin Alma Junior, you're beautiful!"

Junior took Rebecca's hand and said, "Thank you so much, Becca, but please just call me Junior, everybody does." The little girl glowed hearing the nick name her grown up cousin had just given her. She loved it and would identify herself as Becca from now on.

"Okay, Junior, if you're sure." she told her new idol.

The menfolk were gathered in the vestry and were ribbing Kurt about "it's not too late to slip out the side door." And "what did you do today, on your last day of freedom in your whole life?" . . . .things men always say to each other when the risk of showing too much emotion looms.

Kurt's two obnoxious, homophobic cousins were not invited to the wedding. His parents agreed that it should be so, on this day. After all, it was the Bride and Groom's day, and no one and nothing should detract from their happiness. Only those who were open minded and open hearted towards Junior's dad and his partner were welcomed at the ceremony and reception.

Family and friends filled the pews at the Methodist Church, and many craned their necks back to the nave for the first glimpse of the bride and her father. When they were ready, Junior signaled the organist and the ceremonial music began. Ennis cleared his throat, which was threatening to close up on him, and looked at Junior for strength. She smiled at him, stepped out with her right foot and waited for him to do likewise.

Each of her bridesmaids stepped off with their right foot also, just as they'd practiced last night, and proceeded down the aisle in the time-honored measured cadence.

Maggie, Rebecca and Daniel sat on the Bride's side of the church, directly behind KE, Barbie and the twins. As their brother came in to view with his radiant daughter on his arm, Maggie and KE clasped each other's hands and held on. With hearts full of gratitude and pride, they smiled as the procession passed their pews. Emotions, many of them conflicting and mixed emotions that had been held in check up to now could no longer stay behind the dam of propriety. Tears of happiness ran down Maggie's cheeks and KE reached for his hanky; but Daniel, used to taking care of his mother, handed her his freshly ironed linen first.

As Alma Junior and Kurt vowed lifelong love and devotion to each other up at the altar, the bride's dads looked into each other's eyes, held hands and mouthed the traditional words to each other. Never would two people mean these vows more sincerely. Just then Jack felt a tugging on his sleeve and looked to see Thomas, Alma's youngest, climb over his daddy to get to him. Jack helped him up on his lap, and got him settled. Thomas promptly stuck his thumb in his mouth, curled up and went to sleep. His sister might be getting married, but it was his nap time.

Ennis couldn't help but wish that he and Jack had a little boy. He'd always wanted "a boy for a kid", and starting this life with Jack opened all sorts of new longings in his heart. Having Bobby was great, and Ennis had come to love him for sure, but he was nearly grown when they first met. When Ennis reached over and ruffled Thomas' hair, Jack knew they were going to have the "baby" talk again soon.

'If you don't want no more a my kids, I'll be happy to leave you alone'.

Now where did that thought come from? Had he really and truly wanted more children with Alma? No, he knew for sure that he hadn't. But that didn't mean he was through wanting to raise a family. Ennis shook his head and forced his mind back to the present.

He motioned to Alma to hand him Albert who was getting restless, and beginning to bounce in his seat. She handed him down the line without a second thought. Ennis gave the boy his ring of keys to play with and that entertained him long enough for everyone to be able to clearly hear the vows.

When it was time for Jenny's solo, Ennis picked him up, and held him in his arms. Albert wrapped his little arms around Ennis' neck and laid his head on his shoulder. Little snuffles and snores were soon evidence that it was his nap time too, even though he would deny it, cause he was a big boy, and no longer takes naps. Ennis and Jack saved one hand for each other, holding tight while their daughter's strong voice flowed over everyone in the church.

In another pew, Bobby listened to Jenny's crystal clear voice and nearly popped his buttons that this wonder of a girl was his. For now. She was his for now, no matter what the future held. Lureen observed and smiled, and hoped that those two kept their heads about them. 'No need to rush, my children, no need to rush'. she thought.

Alma was grateful to Ennis and Jack for the help with the boys; her dress was pastel and lacey. As mother of the bride, she didn't need two active little toddlers wrecking her hair-do and her dress. It was amazing that she still looked fresh and lovely through the entire ceremony. Monroe was usually very helpful with the boys, but he would soon need to slip out briefly to check on the food prep. His staff was catering today, and everything had to be perfect for Junior's wedding.

Monroe's parents, siblings, and friends as well as the store employees and their families sat on the bride's side of the church as well, but a few rows in back of the parents of the bride.

Kurt had a large family and many friends, co-workers and school pals in attendance. They amply filled the Groom's side of the church.

This wedding was home made for the most part; but still such a lovely ceremony. There was nothing solemn here, it was a lively and happy occasion.

At the reception, it was evident that Maggie had talked to KE and Barbie and said enough of the right and conciliatory words and they'd all made up. They shared a table, kids and all. Rebecca and Daniel took an interest in the twins, even playing "I Spy" with them. They stuck to them like glue going through the food lines, taking care they didn't spill, and helped them carry everything back to the table.

When complimented and thanked, they explained that they were used to caring for little ones, as they had a baby sister. When asked, Maggie just said yes, Rose was too young to bring with her to this event. She added that she missed her something awful, and would bring her next time.

Friends and family, and friends of the family all mingled and talked. Herman Stodemeir, however, was conspicuously absent. The volume in the party hall grew louder and louder. The time came for the bride and her dad to dance; she waltzed once with Ennis and once with Jack to the delight of all the on-lookers. Kurt's dad intended to cut-in, but Junior told him "No, you get a whole dance just for you." She didn't add a name or an endearment to that sentence and it bothered her. She would have to work out soon, what she was going to call her in-laws. She had come to truly care for them, and this meant a lot to her, to think of something personal to call each of them.

Kurt beamed at her as he danced with his mother and with Alma once each.

When the new Mr. and Mrs. Rawlins got ready to leave the hall, Junior held her bouquet aloft, and pitched it over her shoulder. Leah, one of her new friends from work at the power company caught the bouquet. Holding the flowers high over her head, she whirled around and grinning, cocked her eyebrow at her new boyfriend. All his buddies started pounding him on the back. "Congratulations Lenny, looks like you're the next one getting hitched!"

Junior had already thanked her parents and said her good-byes to Jenny and Bobby. Kurt had done the same, because now it was time for the mad dash out the door to the beer-can trailing car. They knew they weren't going to get off scott-free. There was a white shoe-polish "Just Married" on the back window also . . but that was okay. That was mild compared to what it could be. Just so no one put fish on the radiator like they did to Kurt's neighbors!

Alma and Monroe soon followed suit; quickly leaving the reception behind the departing newlyweds, as it had been a very long day. They rounded up Albert and Thomas and said their sweet, sleepy good-byes. Alma was a little sad, she'd lost her first child now, and even though she would grow to love Kurt, it still pinched a bit that Junior was a grown woman with a new life, and a home and husband of her own.

_Alma too, had taken Junior aside, back when they first began talking of marriage. "You're sure that you are his first and only love, aren't you? There are no surprises down the road for you, such as I had because of Jack Twist?"_

_"He loves me, and only me, mama. S'funny in a way. Daddy asked me the same thing."_

_"He did? Yeah, guess he knows he wouldn't want that for his little girl – what he did to me. But you know, Junior, it's what young folks did back then. They married and raised a family, no other life was even thinkable. Your daddy did what he thought he had to do. It's all water under the dam now."_

_"I don't know why no one ever asks if I Love HIM. Guess that's not important or something."_

_"No one asks if you love Kurt, because we know you're too smart of a girl to plan a future with a man you do not love. 'Sides, you're always saying you love him. Don't ever think we don't think it's important, cause we know it most certainly is."_

_"Okay, mama. Thanks for explaining it that way."_

After a bite or two from the buffet, and only one more dance, Claire led John around to say good night to Ennis and Jack and the grandchildren, as well as several other folks. They were going to their room at the Jackpine, and dream sweet dreams. There would be no wake up call for them tomorrow morning. "We'll see you when we see you." said Mom. They left carrying two pieces of wedding cake in a napkin.

The band would still be playing for another forty-five minutes. Ennis pulled Jack by the hand, over to KE's and Maggie's table. Barbie was a little tipsy; she was cute. The siblings talked about how time flies, and marveled that now one of them had a married kid. They had not expected that it would be the youngest of them to become an "in-law" first. They repeated over and over how they should never have let so much time go by without talking to or seeing each other.

Jack brought over cold long neck beers for everyone, and then asked Ennis to dance with him. "Dance with me at our daughter's wedding reception, Cowboy."

He really wanted to, he really did. But there was no one else on the dance floor. Ennis stood up and looked around. He was toeing the floor with his best boots, looking shyly around when Maggie stood up and walked over to Daniel. "Dance with mama, honey." So they got out on the floor first.

Barbie reached for KE's hand, and he was instantly on his feet. Haltingly he walked her out to the center of the floor and they danced. Becca, not to be outdone, pulled Cody and Corey to the dance floor as well, and danced as a threesome. Ennis smiled and reached for Jack's hand. "Looks like my family is in a dancing mood, bud."

Just as they walked out to the floor, several other couples joined the group; some were Kurt's relatives, some were work friends. Ennis Del Mar and his husband, Jack Twist, danced in public for the first time on this memorable night. They looked into each other's eyes and smiled. It had taken a lifetime of waiting, but here they were. Jenny and Bobby were taking a break over by the punch bowl, and witnessed this moment.

When the dance was over, they stayed out on the floor to see if another slow tune was coming up. Yes, it was one of their favorites, so they danced one more time. Jack eventually put his head on Ennis' shoulder and they snuggled a little bit, just like many of the other dancers were doing. KE had worn himself out on the one dance, so Barbie led him back to their table. He had not wanted to use his walker in front of everyone this weekend, so he'd pushed himself pretty hard.

When they returned to the table, Jack was not ready to sit down. He chugged his nearly warm beer and asked Maggie to dance. 'They are a beautiful couple,' thought Ennis.

Jenny persuaded her dad to dance one more time before the band quit for the night. As he danced with his daughter his eyes kept returning to Jack. "Guess you still kinda like him after all this time, eh?"

"Naw, In the words of one very smart girl 'I'm crazy about him'. Do you remember saying that to me about Bobby?"

"I remember, daddy. And that hasn't changed either."

"I know. Maybe it never will, but it could. You're still young, you haven't met everyone you're going to meet."

"You were young when you found Jack. Did meeting new people make you stop loving him?"

"Ha! I take your point, angel. I love him more every day."

"Finally, Ennis Del Mar tells all!"

"S'no secret, daughter."

"I know, daddy. Just like to tease you a little."

"Where'd your sister and her husband go for their wedding night, do you know?"

"Yes, I know where they've gone and it's not too far away. Tomorrow they will leave for Denver."

Ennis held his daughter close, and smiled, remembering his and Jack's wedding trip. He'd enjoyed being a newlywed and a tourist in Denver.

"HMmmm." he said.

When their dance was over, he took her hand and said, "I think it's time to spill the beans. Come on, Jenny girl."

Ennis gave Jack a look, and then a nod. Jack put one arm around Maggie, and the other around Barbie and looked at everyone expectantly. "Ennis said I could finally tell you all where we are moving to, and why." Every eye was turned to Jack and Ennis. They'd been so secretive about this for months.

Ennis began, "The area where the Twist ranch sits is not only rich in coal, but also in gas and oil."

Jack continued, "Several months ago, mama and her brothers were approached about selling all the family acreage to the Brigham Gas & Oil Exploration Company. At first they were not interested, but as the offer kept getting higher and higher, they decided to talk it over. It was a big decision, because that land has been in the Bell family for four generations."

Ennis picked up the thread, "But I think JC's stroke convinced them all that they really needed to be closer to emergency services, like hospitals and ambulances. Ain't none of us getting any younger."

"It was decided that we'd send out a search party after the family gathered together and had chosen a few likely areas. That has all been done. Next came the plan for what we needed in the way of housing, acreage and outbuildings, and then to set the timeline for the move."

"Several of the men and boys have put in some time building this summer, and at this time, Iris and Walter's house is nearly ready, and so is Harold and Margaret's. Mama and daddy's house is under roof, and now Ennis and I need to go help finish it. The time frame for them to move in is only one month away."

A general gasp went up, as that was really soon.

"We need to have every family, and that includes Ennis and I, under roof and the fine finishing completed by Thanksgiving. In the meantime, we can each live with our parents while we are still building those final few homes."

"This was an all or nothing move." stated Jack. "If Roger's or Kenneth's family's had balked at it, we would have turned the oil company down flat. But everyone searched their hearts, and have committed to the sale and the family move."

"As most of you are aware, we've been sorting, packing and tossing stuff for months. Everything we own is either boxed up, sold off or broken down for easier moving. The last of the stock was trucked away by their new owners on Tuesday, one day before we left to come here for the wedding."

"You sold Scarlet and Grey and all the horses?" Bobby asked, horrified?

"No, we could never sell them, nor daddy's horse. They're part a the family. We will move them with us." assured Ennis.

KE had walked up and got an armful of beers before they shut down the bar.

Jack and Ennis were dry from talking so much, and pretty much chugged their beers down. The band was packing up and the house lights came up bright and glaring. Then they blinked them twice, until everyone got the message.

Many people had brought wedding gifts to the reception, so Ennis and Jack had to take them all to Alma's tonight for safekeeping. They asked for and got, help from everyone to carry out all the gifts in their white, gold or silver wrappings. Ennis threw down a blanket on the truck bed and they placed them all in John's truck.

They went through the entire hall to make sure everyone had removed all their personal belongings before turning in the key. Sure enough, they found a woman's sweater and a child's tiny shoe.

With everyone gathered around the tailgate of the truck, Cody stepped up to his uncle Ennis and asked the 64 Thousand Dollar question. "But where are you moving to, Uncles?"

"The only place we can move to Cody, the only place that sounds just right and looks just right." said Jack.

"But where?" prompted Corey.

"Colorado." stated Ennis. And then he held his hand out to Jack to take the floor.

"Loveland, Colorado." confirmed Jack.

#

End of chapter 48.3


	51. Chapter 51

A Better Idea - Chapter 49

Genre: BBM A/U

Pairing: Ennis + Jack

Disclaimers: main characters were created by A E Proulx

no money being made here, nor fame nor fortune.

Rating: The basic premise of ABI is that two men love each other. If you

don't like m/m slash, you won't like ABI either.

A/N 1 – I'm happy you are still reading and enjoying our boys. This story is unbeta'd. Please let me know of any typos or errors. Thank you!

Dedication: To the Memory of Heath Ledger; He will never be forgotten.

Feedback: You bet. I hope my story brings you peace.

Chapter 49 - Loveland

Ennis' eyes were tearing up, and he was coughing from all the sawdust in the air, even though he was wearing one a those little white masks that painter boys wear. He and Jack had been working since daybreak to finish sanding the new oak plank floors in the elder Twist's kitchen.

"Time for a break, bud!" he called to Jack.

"Way ahead a you, cowboy!" Jack responded, carrying in a tray of baloney sandwiches, apples, cookies and milk from Iris' house.

Pulling off his mask, Ennis said, "Not here, let's eat outside where a man can breathe."

"Your wish is my command, Oh Master."

"Oh yeah? Well, I have some more wishes to . . .hmmm"

Jack continued to balance the tray with one arm, while nibbling Ennis' neck and trying to pull him closer by his belt loops.

Ennis interrupted their nibbling and kissing, just long enough to douse his head in the wash basin out on the porch. There was also a pail of cool drinking water and a dipper. He took a good drink, but just enough to wet his whistle . . well. Whistling wasn't exactly what he had in mind.

Twenty seven minutes later, they came back into the kitchen and again picked up the lunch tray and headed out to the shaded back yard.

"Christ, Ennis. I hate warm milk. You know how bad I hate warm milk!"

"Now whose fault is it that your milk is warm, Twist? Nobody forced ya to get busy with my neck and then undoing my buttons, and then . . ."

By this time Jack was grinning again, in happy remembrance.

"Mine's warm too, ya know!"

Jack got up and took both glasses of milk to the large cooler they were using till the new appliances arrived. Normally, he would have poured the milk over the animal feed, but they hadn't bought new stock yet. They planned a trip to the stock show, soon as the homes were completed,

He grabbed two long neck bottles and tipped the caps off with a church key hanging from the cooler handle. He brought one a the cold, dripping beers to his man, waiting under the tree. While they ate the food, they talked about life in general, stock prices, and how their kids were doing.

Lunch and lovin done for the moment, Ennis stood up and brushed the crumbs and sawdust off his pants and shirt. He leaned over to cup Jack's jaw and pull his face up for a kiss. "Sure do 'preciate the lunch, bud. And you wadn't too bad either." He twinkled a grin at his love and said "guess it's time to get back to work."

That evening, all the work parties had a communal supper at the home of Walter and Iris. The workers were all done except for the interior painting and they did have a deadline. The furniture was arriving on Saturday.

Roger had equipped everyone with tape, brushes, paint, sprayers, masks, rags and turpentine. The trim was already painted in each house so it would be dry enough when they went back to tape it. There was no choice, everyone got white semi-gloss trim. Then they all came together at Walter and Iris' house, and taped everything that wasn't nailed down. While the walls of this first house were being sprayed a soft blue-grey, other crew members went from house to house taping off windows, doors and baseboards.

Mom had always had sterile white walls but Ennis worked on convincing her to put a little color in her life. She chose a subdued, buttery yellow for their new home.

Jack and Ennis decided on a muted moss green for their house. It looked outstanding with the shiny white trim.

The money from the gas and oil company didn't make them all millionaires, but in addition to their land, homes, outbuildings and road grading, it did allow every family to purchase some new furniture if they liked. Most had family pieces that were handed down from two or three generations that they kept and cherished. New furniture just could not hold a candle to the much loved old stuff. Years of polishing and dusting imparted a soft glow that could not be duplicated. Nor could anything match those memories of days gone by that were attached to each piece.

The only items that had been left in the old Bell place, when the boys claimed it as their home, were the old wooden kitchen table, four mis-matched chairs and a side-board or buffet. Jack wanted to keep them in the family, so they brought them to Loveland along with the furniture from Jack's old room. Ennis spent hours rubbing wax into each of the dining pieces and buffing them to a soft warm shine. They did not have high gloss finishes when new, so he kept the preferred matte finish on the old pieces. Jack was pleased with this surprise Ennis had worked on for him in secret.

The little bed, chest, desk and stool from Jack's childhood room were waiting, covered in the barn for the painting of the rooms to be finished.

At their first home together, they'd had no actual bed, just a lumpy old mattress on the floor, so a bedroom suite was ordered through the Sears catalog, and was to be delivered on Saturday with everyone else's purchases. They looked forward to the plain Mission Style bedstead, the matching nightstands and chests of drawers. Nothing fancy, purely functional, but all theirs. Most of all they looked forward to sleeping on a bed together, that had never been slept in by anyone else.

They had bickered for 30 minutes over whether to order one a those new-fangled water beds, or to buy a traditional mattress and box springs. Normally, Jack would be all over the newest gadget out there, but he said him and Lureen had bought one when they first come out, and he did not care for the water sloshing around with every little body movement. He winked at Ennis and revealed that he wasn't planning on curtailing any body movements in their marriage bed. Jack won the argument.

The work of building was drawing to a close, the weather was getting crisper by the day; Thanksgiving was in the air. Ennis had never been so happy in his life. He had grown up with no one but KE and Maggie, and even they hadn't been around much as they were all three working at separate jobs to keep food on the table. These weeks of working with Jack and his cousins and uncles was a priceless experience. Even the wives and children looked on Ennis now as one of the family, and he was content.

Unlike the old Bell place, their new house had plenty of closet space, storage for camping gear, and room for trophies and mementoes from the children. It would shape up as a real home. As they lay entwined before sleep took them on Thursday night, the work wrapped up for the most part, they talked about how they missed mama and daddy and how glad they'd be when everyone in the family was back together.

On Friday morning, the day before the furniture vans arrived, Ennis walked upstairs to make sure all the masking tape had been removed from the trim. If it dried there, t'would be a devil of a time ever gettin the sticky stuff off. He heard a strange little noise; he went into his and Jack's room to see his man standin at the window.

"Whatcha lookin at out there?"

"Nothin."

Ennis walked over, put his arms around Jack and leaned his chin on his shoulder.

"Jus' look at this Ennis! I can raise this window to any height I want, and it jus' stays there. Don't need to put a stick under it to hold it up!"

Remembering his time living at Mrs. Goebel's on Walnut Street where all the windows were painted shut, he responded, "I know. And the windas all open willingly, and they don't make that shuddering sound when ya close'em."

"Didja ever think we'd have such . . .?"

"No, and we got a whole houseful just like it. . . . . . .but, Jack, surely you had nice workable windas when you was married to Lureen, din't ya?"

"Prob'ly Ennis. They were not something I thought about back then. But here, I actually helped to install every window and door, so I know what it takes. I appreciate everything about them."

"Ya know, Ennis, we lived in three different houses during our marriage, each one bigger and shinier than the last. Every time one a her fancy friends got a new house, we had to buy a better one. Same with cars and trucks. . . she was not about to let the Jones outshine us. . . think she got that from her daddy. Irene don't seem to care about stuff like that."

They walked downstairs and scanned the empty house, noting where the new furniture was going to be placed tomorrow. They poured and drank one more cup of coffee, and then grabbed their gloves and scythes and went out to trim the grass, widening the area that would be used for lawn.

Ennis was working over by a sycamore tree, gently swinging the scythe in a natural rhythm; the effort it took was not enough to cause him to break a sweat. Jack had his back to him, working in a similar pattern. The quiet swish, swish, swish of the scythes lent a satisfying music to their work. All at once, Jack sensed that Ennis had stopped. When he turned he saw that his man seemed to be listening. Jack straightened his back and took a step in Ennis' direction. "What is it?"

"Shh, somethin's whimperin." As he said this, Ennis saw the grass rustle at the base of the tree. He got down on his knees and reached out with cupped hands. When he stood up he was holding a tiny little ball of golden fuzz. "Well, looka here, Jack."

Ennis held the tiny pup against his chest and stroked it with one finger.

There was another small sound from that sycamore tree, and Jack investigated this time. He knelt and reached, but Jack didn't come away with a puppy . . . he came away with two little golden bundles.

After this, Ennis walked around the base of that tree to make sure there were no more surprises. Jack took off his light jacket and put all three shivering pups in it's folds, as the day was chill and breezy.

Ennis took hold of Jack's chin and turned his face for a quick kiss. With a broad smile, he said "seems like something you always wanted, bud, and now we got room for them."

Jack began to walk back to their house, cuddling the wiggly pups to his chest. "Guess I know right where I can find them some milk, Ennis."

"Good idea, babe, I'll be there in a minute; I'm going to check around for their mama."

Ennis had only walked twenty yards or so down toward their property line when he found her. She was dead. Coulda been starvation, or possibly something went wrong giving birth, maybe three or four weeks previous. But animals or birds had been at her since she died. . . it looked recent enough. A matter of hours, perhaps.

All of Jack's and Ennis' household goods, personal belongings, tools and equipment, including the horse tack and trailer was packed away and covered, in their new barn. It looked as if their lives were on hold, but nothing could be further from the truth. Each day brought new opportunities, and new surprises.

He went to the barn and got a shovel. He buried her at the base of the sycamore tree and spent a quiet moment over her grave. After he put away the shovel and the two scythes, he walked to the house to find Jack and their new family members. When he came in, he shivered. Hadn't realized how chilled he'd become.

He found Jack sitting on the kitchen floor with the pups. They were lapping at the bread soaked in warm milk. Looked like just the act of eating had tired them out and they were nodding over their food saucers.

"We're going to have to get some real food for them, Ennis, this bread and milk'll do for tonight. I can cook up some oatmeal for them in the morning, maybe soft boil an egg before we get serious with actual dog food."

"Yeah, sounds right, they're still awful young."

"You were out there awhile, find their mama?"

"Yeah. I buried her at the base a that sycamore where we found'em. Whaddaya think we oughta do with'em?"

"We got no shortage a movin cartons, cowboy. Figured we'd fix up a box for them, put in a blanket and let'em keep each other warm and cozy till they outgrow the box.

"You sure you're up for this, Jack? T h r e e dogs? All at once?"

"You bet, Ennis. I even got'em named. . . well, if you agree."

Ennis laughed at that. Chuckling, he said "it ain't up ta me, Jack. You can name your dogs anything you want. So what're you gonna call'em?"

Jack grinned sheepishly, and pointed. "This boy here is Bailey. This little girl is Barley, and the small one, I'm callin Bobo."

Ennis smiled, rubbed Jack's shoulders and said, "I love you, Jack Twist.

Jack smiled up at his Cowboy; the look of wonder and amazement on his face a testament to the fact that sometimes he couldn't believe how lucky he was to have found this man.

The mirror image of that look was also on Ennis' face.

"Why don't I take the pups outside while you find that box for'em?

They've just eaten; no time like the present to begin their trainin."

"Sounds like a plan, be right back."

"And then I'll see you in our bed, Mr. Twist."

"But the sun ain't even set yet, Mr. Del Mar."

"Ever heard a afternoon delight, bud?"

"Sure sounds good to me, our last time in our mattress on the floor."

"Yeah, and our last day truly alone. Tomorrow the furniture delivery vans show up and hopefully, the folks arrive."

This new life in Colorado was something none of them could know for sure how it would turn out, but they were excited about the future nevertheless.

#

End of chapter 49


	52. Chapter 52

A Better Idea - [ Chapter 50 - in LJ; Chapter 52 in FF ]

Genre: BBM A/U

Pairing: Ennis / Jack

Disclaimer: main characters were created by A E Proulx, all others by me and my muses; no money being made here, nor fame nor fortune.

Rating: NC-17 in some chapters

A/N 1 – This story is unbeta'd. Please let me know of any typos or errors. Thank you!

Dedication: To the Memory of Heath Ledger

Feedback: You bet. I hope my story brings you peace.

Chapter 50 - Friendship

The letter came as a surprise to Ennis. He didn't get many; usually they were from his girls. The postmark said Riverton, but he didn't recognize the handwriting. There was no return address, so he had no notion of who it might be from. The Sears Catalog came in the same post, so he slipped the letter into his back pocket intending to read it later.

As he came in the door he saw that one of the pups was just about to fall over the top of the box onto the floor. He laid the catalog, bills and flyers on the table before picking up all three: Bailey, Barley and Bobo, and tucked them against his chest. While he balanced the squirming pups he quickly stepped outside and set them in the grass. He watched to make sure each squatted and relieved their little bladder, and then waited awhile longer to see if they needed to do anything else.

Back inside, Ennis filled the small water bowl, then gave each of the pups a saucer with a tablespoonful of dry puppy food moistened with a little warm water. When they're older, they'll all eat out of a large common bowl, but for now, the men wanted to moniter how much each dog was eating. So far, Bobo consumed the same amounts as Bailey and Barley.

They ate like they hadn't seen food in a month, then curled up together to sleep and grow some more. He couldn't believe it, they'd just about doubled in size in the three weeks since he'n Jack found them. Even Bobo was thriving. _Won't be long before we'll need to make them a bigger bed, _ he thought.

Next he washed his hands at the sink with some strong soap and dried them on the thighs of his jeans. Ennis smelled his hands; he always did like the scent of Lifebouy. He pulled a package of chicken out of the freezer to thaw. He searched in the bin for potatoes, carrots and onions, then got the celery out of the fridge. He began chopping the vegetables into fairly large chunks. These he threw into a pan of cold water to soak.

He rinsed and pried apart the chicken pieces and arranged the meat and vegetables in an old 13 x 9 baking pan Mom had given them. Jack and Ennis took turns cooking; whoever got home first knew to start supper. It worked out well. Ennis was proud that he was learning to make a few passable meals, and he enjoyed seeing Jack's eyes light up when he fixed something that was especially good. Ennis had learned a secret; Jack likes everything better with gravy on it. He opened a can of Campbell's Cream of Chicken soup and spread it over the top of the food. He filled the can with hot water and poured that evenly over everything, tightly covered the pan with foil and put it in the oven at 350.

Neither he nor Jack baked. Mom liked to spoil them though, and kept them in fresh breads, pies and cakes by sharing half of everything she baked for John and herself. She frequently offered to teach them to make anything they wanted. . . but so far, they didn't have the need or the drive to do so.

Ennis got two of everything they'd need out of the cupboard: plates, forks, knives, spoons and set them on the counter near the oven.

While dinner took care of itself in the oven, Ennis went to their bedroom and stripped the sheets and pillowcases off the bed, and remade it with their other set. Mom always offered to do their laundry with hers, citing the small loads she had with only her and John, but somehow that didn't seem right to Ennis. Seemed like taking advantage. Besides, he didn't want to think of her washing his underwear, nor their raunchy sheets even though they were always changed each week. Ennis liked washing the sheets he slept on with Jack, where each day began and ended, where they made love. It was a weekly reminder of the blessings of his new life.

Jack would do 'most anything that was required of him, but he disliked doing laundry with a passion. Ennis had never minded it, so it became one of his regular chores. Besides, if he washed and dried all their clothes himself, he never had to smell an article of clothing to see if it was clean or dirty. This brought back memories he'd rather not visit, so he pushed that aside and began to think of the kids and what their schedules were this weekend. Soon he was smiling as he worked.

While Ennis wadded up the sheets and threw them in the laundry basket at the back of their closet, he finally began to notice delicious smells of tonight's meal coming from the kitchen.

He heard squirming and whimpering going on and went to get the pups and take them outside again. They'd napped for about an hour or so, and would be ready to romp and play when Jack came in.

Most nights Jack was dog tired, but just seeing Ennis there, in their warm home, and having the big welcome from the puppies, he perked right up. Both men worked very hard to have the sweet life they wanted no matter how long and difficult their work days were. Their evenings at home, having dinner, a late cup of coffee or a beer together seemed like a priceless gift after their years apart.

Ennis heard Jack's truck pull up and was immediately energized. Jack came in. His face was smudged with dirt, his shirt was totally unrecognizable but he looked tenderly at Ennis and said "there's my cowboy!". He gave Ennis a quick kiss before heading into the shower.

Ten minutes later, a sparkling clean but damp Jack Twist re-emerged and was ready for a real hello kiss. "Mmmm, missed you babe." "Me too." Being in each other's arms on a regular basis was as needed as oxygen, and they made sure to make time for themselves each day. Jack flinched as Ennis squeezed him in a passionate hug.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Oh, this fuckin rodeo back is giving me fits. I've had spasms for the past two hours. Hurts like a sonofabitch."

"You wanta go to bed, take some aspirin?"

"No, I wanta lay flat on this floor for ten minutes and then eat supper. Where's my babies? C'mere you guys, daddy's home!"

Jack got the pups out of their box before lying flat on his back in the living room floor. The dogs climbed all over him and chewed on his hair, just as he knew they would. It heals a lot of aches to have something so cute jumping all over you and licking your ear! It made him smile to think he could say the same thing for Ennis. _Ennis is surely cute and he jumps all over me, and he often licks my ear_. Jack smiled a broad grin.

"Whut?"

"Oh just thinking how you're my favorite pet of all."

Ennis got down on all fours and walked across the floor to Jack, nuzzled his neck and licked across his face and ear. When he started whimpering, Jack said "you better quit that, or you'll be sent to bed with no supper tonight."

"Promise?"

Jack grinned, feeling better already; he rolled over on top of Ennis. He reached down with both hands to grab two good handfuls of ass. When he squeezed, Ennis' right pocket crinkled. "What the . . ?"

"Oh yeah. It's a letter I got today."

"Who from?"

"Don't know yet; ain't opened it."

"How long ya gonna wait to find out?"

"Till after you'n me have supper and relax. That's time enough to see who it's from and what they want."

"Speakin a supper . . . somethin sure smells good. "

"Come on, it's ready. You gonna want coffee, bud?"

"No, I think a beer'll do me better than coffee tonight."

"Make that two, then. Will you get'em while I take the pan outa the oven?"

"You bet!"

Each man filled his plate with the baked chicken and vegetables, there was already bread, butter and applesauce on the table as well as salt, pepper and ketchup. They set to eating and not much was said till they'd refreshed themselves and had their fill.

"Fine meal, Ennis. You're really getting to be a good cook."

"Nah, I ain't. But this did turn out very tasty, didn't it? You want another beer, Jack?"

"No thanks, Ennis. I think I'll have a glass of water while you open that letter. It's beginning to bug me . . .outa the blue like it is. You want one too?"

Ennis agreed that he did, then got his pocket knife and slit the envelope.

He checked the last page first, to see the signature. "Hmmm, it's from Charlie Warren. You know, one a the guys I worked with at Stodemeir's"

"Was you two _special friends_, Ennis?" There was a bit of an edge to Jack's question.

"Shit Jack! I ain't never had no _special friend _'cept you, asshole! Just let me read what he's got to say, okay?"

"Be my guest, Del Mar."

"What's gotten into you, Jack?"

"M'sorry Ennis. Guess I'm just tired. When I seen that a man wrote you a three page letter, it just made me feel pissy for some reason. All's you ever got from me was a post card now and then."

"That ain't so, Jack. Purtiest words I ever seen in a letter came from you, asking for my help when your daddy had his stroke. Made me cry, did I ever tell you that?"

"Cry? Shit no! Why?"

"Oh, relief mostly I think; that you still wanted me. And the fact you needed me, and you were asking for me when I thought you'd never want or need me again. Thought you'd done quit me."

"Never Ennis. Tried to, I admit. But that's water under the bridge. Can't live without you, cowboy. Not now, not ever. Uh, think I'll have that beer now. You?"

As Jack got up to go get the beers he stopped by Ennis' chair and planted a kiss on his mouth, and ran his fingers down his ear. Sort of an apology for getting pissy about the letter.

"Sure. Now let's see what ol' Charlie's got to say."

"Dear Ennis. I hope this letter finds you well. Know you must be surprised hearing from me after all this time, but I figure there's things going on here at the ranch that you should know about.

First, Herman is inconsolable - the way he treated you and your friend. He walks around in a trance half the time, muttering, and often I hear your name.

Second, there's the truck he bought you - just sitting here. He won't let no one else drive it but you. Not even if the tires rot off.

Third, and this is just a guess on my part, but I think he has you in his will – and doesn't want to change it. Ennis, you didn't know Herman when I first came to work for him. He was a hard man, a hard worker, and he didn't get close to anyone except his aunt, of course.

When you came to work with us here, he became a different man. He mellowed out, began to talk to all of us, but mostly to you. Many's the time I've heard him say "that boy's like my own son."

Ennis, Herman is sick. I know this, even though he has not said nothing about it to me or anyone. You remember Mrs. Fowler in the office? Well, Virginia makes all his appointments and keeps his calendar. According to her, he's been visiting several doctors. One is a Cardiologist. That's a heart doctor, Ennis, in case you ain't had no relatives that had to go to one a them kinda doctors.

I'm not saying he's asking for you, nor that he's going to die any time soon, but I know it eats at him, what he lost by turning his back on you and your partner. I know he regrets it bad.

Ennis, I'll always look up to you like I did when we worked together. The fact that you sacrificed your ownself instead of running over me and that crazy horse, well, I'll just always be grateful to you for that. I wouldn't be alive today if you hadn't done what you did, I know that.

You can do whatever you want to with this information. Only you know what's best in your situation. I'm only hoping for all our sakes that he gets over this sadness he's living with. His aunt won't give him any sympathy either, she just snaps at him that it's all his own ignorant fault. Kind of funny really.

No matter what you decide to do, know that me and all the guys here at the ranch remember you as a stand up guy, and would be glad to work with you again. And Jack too, of course. Aunt Greta told us all about what happened at your mother's day party, and how harshly Herman reacted to the news of who you was actually married to . . . she feels right bad about it still.

Leah sends her love and I remain,

Your friend,

Charlie Warren"

Ennis had never read out loud so much in his life. He took a big swig a his beer, refolded the letter, and put it back in the envelope.

Jack wanted to ask Ennis what he was going to do, but he knew his cowboy good enough by now to know that Ennis would tell him as soon as he was ready. Jack went over and sat on the arm of Ennis' chair. He put his arm around his man, and leaned his head over onto Ennis' head. It was very hard for Jack to remain quiet, but he managed it. He just sat there, holding his man. Ennis leaned into Jack more, and covered his hand with his own.

Jack patted Ennis' back, rubbed it in circles, kissed the top of his head, then got up and went into the kitchen to start clearing the supper dishes from the table. He ran hot water into the dish pan and sloshed in too much dish detergent. He had bubbles everywhere.

Ennis came up behind him, said "I'll do those if you'd rather take the pups out one last time before bed."

"No, babe, you go ahead, get your shower. I'll just do these few dishes then take the dogs out. I'll see you in bed, cowboy." Jack turned around with soapy hands and put his arms around Ennis' shoulders, kissed him thoroughly and patted his butt smartly. "Now go!"

Ennis smiled into Jack's eyes, knew what he was doing for him, and why. "Well I guess I know when I ain't wanted around here."

That made Jack laugh and choke at the same time. The idea that Ennis Del Mar would EVER not be wanted around here was crazy . . . impossible." Jack reached for the dish towel and holding the ends, spun it into a whiplash, he cracked Ennis on his denimed behind, and said "Git along little dogie! Don't make me tell you again."

When Ennis finally climbed out of the shower, where he'd stood awhile, letting the hot water soothe his shoulders and back, he dried off deep in thought about Herman. He shaved out of habit, his mind a million miles away, then brushed his teeth. But when he walked into his own bedroom to see that Jack Twist was naked in their bed . . the one with clean-smelling air-dried sheets . . . every thought of any other person in the world flew out the window.

Jack held Ennis and kissed his face, snuggled face to face a bit. Then he made tender love to this man, his man, who was so strong, but who could be hurt so easily by an unkind word from a friend.

When they were drowsing together before sleep overtook them, Ennis turned in the darkness and looked into Jack's eyes. "I love you Jack."

"Yes, you do, and you do it very well too, if I may say so!"

Thirty seconds later, Ennis asked "is that any way to answer a declaration of undying love?"

"Shut up and go to sleep Del Mar."

"You did NOT just tell me to shut up, Jack Fuckin Twist!" Ennis grabbed hold of Jack's left nipple and tweaked it rather hard.

"Ow, you bitch!"

"That's what you get, asshole."

"Okay, okay, I'll be good. Start over."

"I love you, Jack."

"I love you too, Ennis. With my whole heart, my whole soul and my whole body."

"And with your Hole?"

"Shut up Del Mar, and go to sleep!"

#

End of chapter 50


	53. Chapter 53

**Title:** **_A Better Idea_****  
****Fandom: Brokeback Mountain****  
****Rating: NC-17 for language, explicit sexual content****  
****Genre: a/u ****  
****Pairing: Ennis / Jack****  
****Words: 2855****  
****Warnings: None****  
****Disclaimer: The O/S characters belong to Annie Proulx, all the rest are my own creation. No profit or fame being sought from this, my own story****  
****Notes: This story is dedicated to Heath Ledger****  
****Summary: After the "I wish I knew how to quit you" argument at the Trail Head in 1983, Ennis and Jack finally have a better idea****  
****Feedback: Yes, please. I hope my story brings you peace**

Chapter 51 - 53FF

Did you call me a bitch last night?

You deserved it!

Hmmm, maybe. How 'bout if I kiss it and make it all better?

Ennis ducked his head under the covers and took the previously abused nipple between his lips and gently kissed it. He teased and licked round and round the nipple. He sucked and nipped on his newest plaything, then he switched to the right nipple and gave it some sweet attention.

Jack could not control his reactions. His whole body jerked and tingled to Ennis' ministrations. He murmured, "here, let me." And did the same to his man.

While they were making sweet love in their sturdy new bed, the first snow of the season began softly falling all around.

The little grave at the base of the sycamore was soon covered with a light snow, and indistinguishable from its surroundings. By morning, their land was blanketed in white, a glistening wonderland.

By noon the winds picked up and the snow came even harder than before. It seemed to be turning into a blizzard. When Ennis finished giving the animals clean stalls, fresh food and water, he tied a heavy rope from the barn door to the back door of the house. He'd never have made it out and back safely for the evening feedings if he hadn't. By nightfall they were in a complete white-out.

During the build up of winter's fury, Jack had called mama and daddy's place to see if they were alright. Later that night, Ennis called again. Claire said she'd spoken with Walter and Iris earlier, and they had talked with their kids, and also with Harold and Margaret. Everyone was well provisioned and prepared to ride out the storm if it didn't last more than three or four days. It lasted five.

During the forced downtime, everyone slept a lot. They read, or drew pictures or made lists of new ideas for their ranch once the weather let up. This was the time to pull out the seed catalog, for polishing saddles and tack, for writing letters, for popping corn and playing checkers. And making love, of course.

Ennis chewed on the end of his pen, trying to think of what to say to Herman, and how to say it. Not one to get fancy, nor show much emotion publicly, he decided to offer a face to face meeting, and let Herman do what he could.

"Dear Herman, hope you are well. We are all fine here. Was thinking you and the boys from the ranch might want to come here and see the place we built in Loveland, Colorado. If you would like to come in the spring, say middle of May or so, bring everyone for a big barbeque weekend. We have plenty room for all the wives and kids too. Be sure to invite your aunt Greta and Mrs. Fowler too. Write back with any possible dates; Jack and I are pretty flexible. Yours truly, Ennis Del Mar"

Two days later they joined a search party for one of the neighbors down the road who had lived there for 18 years. They came upon his frozen body on the third day. He had curled up at the base of a tree and died, not 300 yards from his own barn.

His wife lost her mind from grief and fear, having just gotten up from her confinement. The baby was two weeks old when his father died. The woman did not wait a day after burying her husband. She packed her belongings and those of the older three children into the back of the old pick up.

The note she left on Ennis and Jack's door was self explanatory:

"You two are good people. You've been good neighbors to me, Mr. Del Mar and Mr. Twist. But I can't take it any more; going home. See to the young'un, he's only a fortnight old, ain't even named yet. Would appreciate it if you'd go over and retrieve the animals as soon as you can. Keep'em, sell'em or whatever you will. It might help with the cost of raising this baby. I would have loved him but without Fred, I just cannot take on another child. I wish you and him the best, And sorry. I ain't a bad person usually. Camilla Rae Branchard"

They found the note tacked to the back door, but no baby. Anyone would freeze in an hour or two out here, a baby even faster. They found him in a box, next to the oven, Bailey had climbed in and snuggled him, keeping him warm as toast. Barley and Bobo napped nearby.

On the kitchen table was a stack of diapers, and a few odds and ends of clothing as well as two small blankets that used to be blue. There were three bottles of milk in the refrigerator. One box of baby oatmeal cereal, half empty, sat on the counter next to the stove.

Ennis was so concerned, he grabbed up the baby, after gently dislodging Bailey, and took off all his clothes. He counted all his fingers and toes. The little guy was scrawny, but he had all the right parts. He was sucking on his fist the whole time, and the guys knew it wouldn't be long before he began to howl for his bottle.

"Jack, boil up some water, would you?"

Ennis lay the baby on the kitchen counter and washed him from head to toe with the water that was beginning to heat. He felt bad that all they had was the rough Lifebouy soap; they'd have to get something gentler for this little one. All the while he was washing him, Ennis kept cooing "your mama didn't want to leave you little boy, poor little fella with no name, you're a good boy, yes you are, raise your arm, that's good."

One thing about Ennis Del Mar. He had only had daughters. He learned something new today. Don't lay a naked boy down in front of you to change or wash him, he'll pee in your face, no doubt about it. Ennis, being tall, only got his neck peed on . . . and down the front of his shirt. He started laughing and threw the used diaper over the spraying penis. Jack laughed so hard he almost cried, all the while, wetting a wash cloth with the hot water and trying to wipe Ennis free of urine.

"You knew better, didn't you, Twist?"

"Yeah, course I did. Bobby got me good though, the first time I changed him!"

Earlier Jack had retrieved one of the baby bottles and set it on the counter to take the chill off. When the water got fully hot, he poured some in a bowl and set the bottle of milk in it to warm.

With the baby freshly bathed and dressed, Ennis tested the milk on his wrist to see if it was too hot or too cold. It made no impact on his skin, so he knew it was body temperature . . just right.

Jack hovered over Ennis and the baby, watching like a hawk. Even though they had each raised children, this sudden addition to their life was like the first time for them both. They marveled at his mouth as he sucked, at his throat as he swallowed, at the fingers so tiny and curled around Ennis' big finger. Ennis looked up into the face he loved so much. "Breathe, Jack."

"Guess I was concentrating so hard on him, I forgot to breathe."

"Jack, this is our little boy. This is the baby we been talking about and wanting, just didn't know where he'd come from."

"Ennis, they ain't gonna let us keep him!"

"Says who?! The mama gave him to us fair and square! That oughta count for somethin, don't you think?"

"I don't know. I don't know, Ennis. Just seems too good to be true."

"Call mom. She'll know. Tell her she can come see our boy if she wants to, but to be careful, it's still awful slippery out there."

"No, I'm not gonna call her with news like this. I'll go get her."

"Okay darlin. C'mere first. I need a kiss real bad."

Ennis stood up, put the baby on his shoulder with a towel under him in case he spit up, and proceeded to rub his back.

He stopped rubbing long enough to draw Jack's face closer for a reassuring kiss, and then waved him on his mission. "Be careful." He continued then, round and round, circles and pats, until he got the burp he was wanting.

By the time Jack returned with his stunned mama and daddy, the boy was asleep on Ennis' shoulder. He hadn't burped yet following the last half of the bottle, and Ennis was still patting and rubbing.

Claire took the slumbering child from him, and laid him out along her arm, palming his head and rubbing down his back, and then patting him. After a minute, he woke with a loud burp, and all the adults laughed nervously.

"Let's get a good look at you, little fella." cooed John Twist as he reached for the baby. "Whatcha gonna do with him?"

"Don't know, guess he can sleep in the box his mama brung him in, for the time being." Ennis showed them the note Mrs. Branchard had left on their back door. He told of the scene that greeted them when they stepped into their kitchen, Bailey cuddling the boy, keeping him warm.

At that, everyone looked around for the pups who were formerly the center of attention. They were lined up by the wall, watching the proceedings and waiting for whatever was going to happen.

Just then, a lusty wail emerged from the baby, now being held by John. He looked around, panic stricken, and handed the baby to Jack. Jack hoisted the boy up on his shoulder and began to bounce him as he walked around the room, talking to him non-stop. "You are in good hands here, don't you worry, we're going to take awful good care a you, yes we are, you are one lucky boy to have landed in our house, you bet."

Ennis stood with his arm around mom, watching fondly as Jack bonded with their new son.

"You been wantin a baby ever since we went to see Maggie, haven't you, son?"

"Can't get nothin past you, mom."

"Got any names in mind?"

"No, I think we're gonna need help with that."

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

NAME THE BABY CONTEST . . . NAME THE BABY

Please comment with a name you think Ennis and Jack

would or should give this boy in the winter of 1984.

The author, that's me, will decide what name she likes best,

And that will be the winner. No prize offered except you will receive

Credit in the header of this story for naming the baby.

Come on, this tiny boy needs a name. . . OH, and what should

his last name be? Del Mar, Twist, Branchard or something else?

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

#

End of chapter 51 - 53FF


	54. Chapter 54

A Better Idea

ABI 52.1 - The Christening

A name is somethin that sticks with you your whole life, they thought. So we got to get it right.

Many names were kicked around. Ennis and Jack thought they were not up to the challenge alone, so one night they took the baby and went over to Jack's parents' house after supper. There was a fire in the fireplace, and the adults sat around drinking coffee and mulling over the obvious and not so obvious choices.

Jack started the brain storming by saying what the boy's name was not going to be. "No John, Jack, Johnny or Jackie. Got enough a them. I didn't name my first son after me, and this one won't be either."

Nodding, Ennis said "No Ennis either. Actually, I gotta Junior in my life and one's all I could ever want or need."

Claire looked up and said, "What about Will or William? It was my father's name and he was a fine man."

John said "He sure was, Claire. You couldn't go wrong with Will. Also, I've always admired the name Andrew, or just Drew. How 'bout that?"

No one responded very enthusiastically to any of these great suggestions, so they kept on throwing out names they liked. "Daniel", "Alex", "Taran", and "Ryan" were all heard but not adopted on the spot.

Claire lifted her bible from the side table and thumbed through it. "Ah, here's the perfect name for your situation. Call him Samuel."

"Why's that perfect for us?" asked Ennis.

"It means "Gift from God" or literally, "Answer to Prayers". I think that fits very well, don't you Ennis?"

He laughed and nodded. "Yup, that does fit for sure."

There was quiet for a moment, and then Ennis brought up what had been weighing on his heart. "I am so grateful for the gift of this boy but at the same time, I feel so awfully sad for the family that lost him. I think we should honor them, by naming him something that will always remind him and us that he had a birth family that loved him enough to save him."

John chimed in with agreement, "True, very true."

"Frederick? You want to saddle our little boy with a big ol' name like Frederick?"

"That doesn't seem to fit him, does it? And he'd be called Freddie in school. And later, Fred." Mom said, then added, "It seems like such an ordinary name for such an extraordinary child."

Ennis asked, "What about Branchard?"

"Well, you wanta have him grow up with a different last name than ours?"

After much soul-searching and discussion, a name was decided upon. They wrote it down in pencil. Then in ink. They tested it on their lips; did it sound right to their ears?

They decided to sleep on it, and then speak with the minister after services in the morning.

Reverend Robiskie had officiated at Fred Branchard's funeral. He had given his condolences and said good-bye to Camilla and the children, but had not realized she was leaving the area, and leaving their infant behind. He got the word a day or so later from Claire Twist, and has been very supportive ever since.

He could see them waiting outside the throng till all the other folks in the congregation had spoken with him, and had walked off toward the parking area. When he was free to talk, he nodded to them.

"Can I see him?" he asked excitedly.

Ennis brought the baby forward, and pulled the blanket away from his face.

"Course, here's our little guy. He is the reason we want to talk to you, if you have a few minutes."

The Reverend Robiskie ran his finger along the soft cheek of the boy, appreciating the sweet baby powder smell of the sleeping child. He then checked his watch and agreed that he had twenty minutes to give them before he had to sit down to a special luncheon. It was his wedding anniversary, and his wife had big plans starting at 1:00 p.m.

After they told him their concerns and their wishes, he answered thoughtfully. "I cannot advise you on the legality of what you propose, but I do think it's right for this baby, his first family and for your family, as well. So I will help you proceed with your plan."

"Give me the full name you want to use, and I will prepare a Baptismal Certificate ahead of time. Would you like the christening to be private with just your family, or would you like to have it at a regular service so the entire community can be a part of this celebration?"

They all looked at each other, grinning happily. Claire spoke up, "Everyone here knew the family, volunteered to look for his father, and grieved with them when he was found. I think they deserve to be a part of this chapter of his young life."

"It's also a way to forge a link from this boy to this community, out to his mother and siblings should they ever decide to look for him. No secrets; he will be easy to find. All of his life he will hear about his mother, father and siblings. He will never be alone in this world."

Ennis told the reverend to schedule the christening at his convenience, for a regular service, and just let them know. He handed the reverend a piece of paper on which they had written the selected name:

Branchard Twist Del Mar, son of Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar.

born December 2nd or 3rd, 1984 to Frederick (deceased) and Camilla Rae Branchard.

Ennis explained, "He will go by Branchard T. Del Mar. We plan to call him Branch for short. . . or Bran when we're in a hurry."

The reverend offered to make a few phone calls to see if any of the ladies of the congregation had perhaps attended the birth, or knew for sure what the date of his birth had been.

"And now, I should leave for my . . ." began the pastor.

"Reverend Robiskie" began Ennis, "do you think you should keep this note from the mother, giving the boy to us, as part of the public record?"

"Please, Ennis, call me Brian. In this case, I have to say a resounding No. You should get a Safe Deposit Box at your bank if you don't already have one, and put that note, along with the baptismal certificate I'll be making up, and other important papers in it. Just in case your claim to him is ever challenged."

"But why would . . ?"

Brian clapped Ennis on the back before taking his leave, he was 10 minutes late already, and his wife would be getting anxious. "Ennis? Just in case. Okay?"

He waved to them all as he ran out the door, "see you at the christening!"

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Two weeks later, the Twist, Del Mar and Bell families were all assembled in the front pews of the Loveland Creek Episcopal Chapel. Harold Bell was almost overcome with the mixture of emotions he was experiencing. He had been the unfortunate person to find Fred Branchard at the base of that tree. And now to be attending this ceremony for Jack and Ennis' son - well, it was just amazing and wonderful. He looked at his wife, Margaret, and she understood most of what he was feeling. She gave him a big squeeze and kissed his cheek. He felt somewhat better after that.

Reverend Brian Robiskie spoke to the congregation as if they were not in church, but just having coffee together. He reminded them of the devastating power of the storm, the hunt for Fred, and the sadness of finding him dead. Then he told them of the inability of Camilla (whom they all knew and admired) to carry on without her Fred, and especially not with this new child. He spoke of the choice she had made, who she had selected to care for her boy, and why they were here today.

"And so I ask you now to celebrate with us as a new soul comes together with us in this community. Ennis, Jack, will you please come forward with the baby, and the godparents?"

Ennis and Jack had talked it over. They decided that if anything happened to them, that it was unlikely that any of this elder clan would be able to take care of their child, but they wanted to make a symbolic gesture anyway.

Jack asked his uncle Harold Bell to be the godfather, for obvious reasons. Ennis asked Jack's aunt Iris Bell to be the godmother, because he admired her and always enjoyed her company. He knew their child would be lucky to get her. She was a great hugger!

After the services, when the christening was over, and the water and oil was gently wiped away, the pastor turned them around to the congregation and introduced Branchard T. Del Mar and his parents to the community.

Everyone stood and applauded. Almost everyone. One or two walked out.

Ennis and Jack turned to the Reverend to shake his hand and thank him for all his support. "You've been more than kind, Rev. . er, Brian. We couldn't have done this without you. I'm curious as to why you have been so willing to go to bat for us."

"Not at all. I only did for you what I would do for ANY couple in my congregation. Blessings upon your family; and guys? Watch each other's backs, okay?"

They both chuckled, Brian blushed, and stammered. "You know what I meant!"

"See? That's why I'm wondering why you went out on this limb for us."

"Ennis, I am adamant that God loves everyone the same. He doesn't see color nor gender, nor nationality. Since I have the right to fall in love, marry, and raise a family with the person of my choice, then everyone should. Amen."

"Amen" they both said.

"Gotta run, see you guys soon!"

%%%%%%%%%%%%%

All of the family members went back to Ennis and Jack's house, as the baby needed - all the things that baby's need: a dry diaper, a bottle, and his very own bed. . . even if it was still a shipping crate. His new crib was on order from Sears & Roebuck. But there was no hurry; he felt safe, secure and well loved in his crate in the corner of his daddys' room .

While the guys were seeing to the needs of the baby and getting him settled, Mom told Margaret and Iris her secret plan. They agreed to make some phone calls and visits to see if they could round up what she was seeking. This project would produce a treasure if she could pull it off.

The adults had a nice hot luncheon prepared by Mom and Aunt Iris. The main topic of conversation was the miracle that had taken place to bring about today's ceremony. By early afternoon, the plates and cups were all picked up, washed and put away, and the guests were taking their leave.

Ennis and Jack stood on their front porch waving good-bye to their family. Ennis put his arm around Jack's waist and pulled him close for a gentle kiss. "Care to take a nap with Branch's daddy?"

Jack seemed to be thinking it over. "Hmmm, let me think about that, I might get a better offer."

Ennis looked around, surprised, but determined.

"Okay then. Care to get fucked by your husband?"

Turning immediately toward the front door, Jack answered.

"Now you got a deal! I'll race you up the stairs!"

#

End of ABI 52.1

52.2 will be posted very soon - in a day or so.

Tbc~


	55. Chapter 55

A Better Idea

A/N: Thank you! There was such a wonderful response from all of you. The baby names you sent in were fabulous, and it was very difficult to choose. But I have picked the name sent in by IFYOUCANTFIXIT (Janice). I hope you are happy with the name I have chosen.

Chapter 52.2 (FF Chapter 55)

2 a.m. and he's awake again. He is squirming and snuffling around in his box. As Ennis pulls his weary body out of bed, Jack reaches over and takes hold of his arm. "Want me to get him?"

Ennis leans over and brushes his lips lightly across Jack's mouth; whispers, "No, you took the 10 o'clock feeding. I'll get him." It's chilly in the room, so he pulls on last night's levi's and shirt, and steps into his moccasin style house slippers Jack gave him this past Christmas. He walks to the corner of their room to get the baby boy. As he gets closer, he smells a strong acrid odor, so he knows he has a full diaper to deal with. "Hey, little fella, you been a busy boy!"

Lifting the child gently, he puts no pressure on the little bottom. "Let's get you cleaned up, then you can have your bottle, okay?" Ennis wraps a warm blanket around the baby and nuzzles his sweet neck before they go downstairs. It's easier to clean him down stairs; and he doesn't want to turn on lights and disturb Jack's sleep, if he can avoid it.

Even though it's been many years since Ennis has cared for his daughters like this, it's not something he has to think about. His life has been in caring for others; whether animal or human, he feels a sense of satisfaction in doing it; a continuation of life. He talks to the baby all the while he is bathing him. He was dirty clear up his back and had to have a bath and a complete clean set of undershirt and footed pajamas in addition to the diaper.

As was his habit, he had taken the bottle out of the refrigerator when they first came downstairs, and sat it on the counter to get to room temperature. He put a small saucepan of water on to heat. When he had the boy clean and wrapped in a towel, he turned off the fire. He set the bottle into a bowl kept for that purpose, and poured the boiling water over the bottle. By the time he had him oiled, powdered and dressed, the milk was warm. "You smell like a brand new boy, yes you do." As Ennis cradled the child he murmured and whispered to him constantly. All the while, the boy seemed fascinated that he was getting so much attention. He had not cried, as his needs were being met, seemingly even before he asked for anything.

As he began to snap the sleeper back on the baby, Ennis put his face down on the boy's belly and blew raspberries against his skin, then said "ba, ba, ba." Was that a smile? Ennis couldn't be sure, but he told himself it was. He remembered folks saying that babies this young didn't smile, that they were "experiencing gas" but he didn't like to believe that. Sitting back in his armchair, Ennis lay the child down on his left arm, and held the bottle to his mouth with the right hand.

He had been christened last Sunday; he was three months old now. Ennis couldn't believe how the time had flown, but it felt as if he had always been theirs. He was up to 6 ounces of milk now. When they first got him, he only took 2 ounces at each feeding. Tonight though, he couldn't finish it all. He took 5 ounces, and fell fast asleep in Ennis' arms. Ennis had nodded off too.

He roused himself long enough to burp the baby, kiss him on his soft little baby cheek, and then carry him quietly up the stairs and put him back in his bed. With any luck, he would sleep through till six or seven o'clock.

Ennis dropped his Levi's and shirt back on the floor and kicked off his slippers. He crawled in and spooned up behind Jack; it was so nice and warm in the bed. Slumber was forgotten as Ennis' mouth came up against Jack's neck. As he began to kiss and nuzzle, a magical thing happened. His cock stiffened and poked Jack right between his ass cheeks. It seemed to be pointing toward its desired destination. Ennis smiled, 'not my fault he's so damn sexy' he thought.

He reached around Jack and took hold of his dick, beginning to stroke and fondle all he could reach, all the while pushing up against his ass. Jack got the message, and sent one of his own. He pushed his butt back sharply into Ennis. "Go for it, big boy; but don't be startin somethin ya cain't finish."

Ennis took hold of Jack's shoulders and turned him on his back. "If the day ever comes, I can't finish what I start, you can turn me in for two 30 year olds; or maybe two 50 year olds, by that time." He grinned at his own joke.

Jack smiled into his cowboy's eyes and lifted his legs. Ennis scooted closer, slathered some lube on himself and on Jack and entered his man surely and swiftly. "Ah, been needin this real bad."

"Don't be sweet talkin me."

"No?"

"No."

"What you want then?"

"Fuck me, Ennis. Hard. Fuck me like a rented mule."

"Whaaat?"

"You know what I mean, Cowboy. Gimme a ride that'll have me walkin funny till Wednesday."

Their moans and pounding did not worry the baby. He was used to noises of all kinds; he did not awaken.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Ennis felt the bed dip. He peeped out of one eye, and saw a rumpled Jack Twist bring the baby over and sit on their bed with him. He had hoped to get an hours sleep, but he'd only been back in bed for twenty minutes after feeding the animals. He was happy though, to forego more sleep for time like this. It was rare they had this.

Jack was sitting indian style, the baby in front of him. He had a clean diaper thrown over his shoulder. As he unsnapped the boy's footed pajamas, Jack's hair was sticking up in every direction. He had never looked more delicious, nor more loveable. Ennis yawned a big, wide yawn and stretched.

"Looks like your daddy's awake, Branch. Let's give him a good morning kiss."

Jack interrupted his diaper changing to run his hands on Ennis' back and shoulders. He leaned in for a strong kiss, and a nuzzle.

"Mornin fellas." Ennis kissed Jack thoroughly, and then smootched on Branch's neck, and blew little bubbles against his skin.

Jack said, "Now don't get him all riled up. I ain't put his dry didey on yet."

"Look, he don't care. He's glad to see us this mornin." The baby lay on his back looking up at both men and kicked his feet in the air.

Ennis was feelin kinda ornery this mornin. "Wouldja rather I got YOU all riled up?"

"Believe you already took care a that after the two o'clock feeding."

"Oh yeah? Don't r'member that. I'd better try again."

Instead, they each removed one diaper pin. Leaving the cloth on to cover the boy's penis, Jack slid the dry diaper under him. Only when they had him covered with the new diaper, did they remove the wet one. Jack powdered him lightly, then pinned each side of the diaper, Ennis snapped his pj's back together.

They lay down; all stretched out on their bed, the baby between them. "We gotta take him to mom's this morning?"

"No, his gran is coming here. She will give him a bath. While he's sleeping she will wash didey's and his little sleepers and undershirts and bibs, and all the baby stuff that seems to get dirty every day."

"I know. I used to keep up with our laundry, but with this one little guy, it seems to have doubled. I'm glad mom wants to do the baby stuff for us."

"For us? No, I think she wants to do it for her favorite new boy." While they spoke about him, they each touched him and made eye contact with him.

He was laying between their two pillows. Ennis noticed something.

"Jack, look how he's lookin at me, watching every move I make. Now you say somethin."

"Okay, what should I . . . oh, I see what you're getting at. He looks from one to the other of us when we talk. I don't remember Bobby doing that."

"I don't remember the girls doing it either. Don't remember having snuggle time in bed together like this, and jus' talkin. We must have, but I don't recall it. Guess I don't remember talkin to Alma much. I feel sorry about that. But it was different back then."

"Yeah, for me too. Reeny and I talked, but not in bed in a family group like this."

"I promise that this family group will have more of my attention, more . . ."

"Ya ain't gotta say that, Cowboy. Know how ya feel. I feel the same."

"I surely wasted too much time, drinkin my sorrows away, missin you and just plain not understandin why I felt so empty alla the time."

Ennis reached between them and picked up the baby, cradling him on his chest. Once he had him settled there, he said "C'mere". Jack moved closer and they kissed awhile; their hands sometimes joining, sometimes caressing the baby or each other's face.

When the baby began to squirm, they knew it was time to get up, feed him, and start their day.

"Welp, let's get after it. Branch'n me'll run down, start the coffee, and get him a bottle while you shower. 'Kay?"

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Over coffee, bacon and eggs, they discussed the stock show coming up and how much their feelings had changed since they first made the plan to go. They'd been excited to go. Wanted to have a week or more checking out the new stock, seeing the sights and enjoying some of the night life in Denver. Now that the baby was here, there was some reluctance to be away so long.

"I ain't sure I wanna leave him at all. I'll miss him."

"Mama and daddy'll take good care a him."

"That ain't the point."

"Well, what the fuck IS the point, Ennis?"

"Already said. I'll miss him. They grow so fast at this age, Jack; don't wanna miss anythin. What if he cuts his first tooth while we're gone. What then?"

"That ain't likely for a couple months yet, Ennis. 'Sides, there'll be lots more teeth. Dontcha think you're goin a bit overboard?"

"Well, maybe. I don't know."

"It's gonna be alright; and he'll be happy to see us when we get back home."

"What if we packed up and took him with us, your mama and daddy too? That way, we'd still see him every night."

"C'mere, babe." Ennis walked over and sat on Jack's lap at the kitchen table. He put his arm around his man's shoulder. He needed the contact and the comfort just then.

Wearing a hang-dog expression in his brown eyes, he asked Jack, "whut?

"Think about how much easier it will be on mama to take care a Branch here, where all his stuff is, and hers too. Hotels don't make it easy to feed or bathe a baby, even the Brown Palace don't, I bet. And it's not that easy to rest in a hotel, when you're away from your own bed, 'n such. This is for the best, Ennis. We're lucky mama and daddy are able to do this for us, give us a break."

"I know, it's just this'll be the first time . . away from him, I mean."

The discussion was settled, and preparations continued for the couple to get on the road to the stock show. They'd previewed the offerings, and knew pretty well what more they needed to fill in the herd. Hadn't expected to get the Branchard's stock, so that gave'em a nice start.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Denver was all they remembered and more. The lights, the traffic, the noise; they decided they wouldn't like a steady diet of that for any reason. But once in awhile it was fun to do something different. And right now, it was necessary.

For the sake of convenience, they stayed in town at a small place, The Wrangler Hotel, down near the stockyards. The hotel's bar downstairs was handy alright, but they thought their drinks were made of liquid gold, or their prices were bumped up for the huge crowds expected for the big stock sale in town.

Instead, Ennis and Jack decided they wanted to stretch their legs; they walked the eight blocks down to the river. Turning south along the Platte, they saw several pleasant looking bars and restaurants. People wandered along on the sidewalks, music spilled out of the doorways; everyone seemed to be in a holiday mood.

They liked the looks of a little tavern called Casey's, and went in for a beer. They took stools at the bar where Casey waited on them himself, wiping off the bar with a clean white rag while he asked what he could get for them. Jack ordered a Schoenling on draft, and Ennis got his usual Budweiser long neck. Casey moved a metal bucket of peanuts within their reach; they automatically began shelling them and popping nuts into their mouths while they drank their beers and talked. Ennis noticed peanut shells all over the floor, so he followed suit, and they both began to drop their empty shells. At first they felt awkward about it, but soon forgot that it was unusual.

When Casey saw that their beers were getting low he raised his eyebrows in their direction; Jack nodded. He drew Jack's draft into a clean, frosted mug, then reached into the cooler for Ennis' Bud, swiftly pulling off the cap with a bottle opener attached to the cabinet. Wiping down the bar where he'd just put the dripping drinks, he asked "What brings you boys to town?"

"Stock show."

"Where ya from?"

"Loveland."

"Both a ya?"

"Yep."

"You boys feelin lucky; we got a game goin in the back room."

"Not tonight."

"Can I get ya anything else?"

"Thank ya, no. Think we'll wander on down the way. You got a idear where we could get us a good steak 'round here?"

They paid up, while Casey sang the praises of his two favorite eating places. They waved good-bye as they walked out the door.

Ennis was shaking his head, "Ya know, they just give ya those buckets a peanuts so you'll eat'em and get thirstier and keep on buying more drinks."

"Yep. Good plan if ya ask me!" Jack was enjoying the night air, and the exhilaration of walking around town among all these strangers with a relaxed Ennis Del Mar at his side.

"I guess not too many women come to the stock shows, eh?"

"Why ya say that?" asked Jack.

"Well, just look around ya. Men in two's and three's or more. Lots of'em look like fathers and sons, but there's hardly any ladies at all."

"Ennis, this ain't your first stock show."

"No, it ain't. But it's the first one I get to enjoy with you, Jack." He looked up from under his hat brim and smiled an affectionate smile at his husband.

Jack grinned from ear to ear. "That's a fact. How you like it so far?"

"Lots better'n I thought I would. Thought we'd stick out like a sore thumb and I'd be nervous and antsy. But we don't look no different than any a these other guys out here."

"I'd sure like to kiss you right about now."

"Uh, then we might look different than the rest a these guys. Guess you should hold that thought till we get back to our room, bud."

"You can count on that. But just so you know, Nothin's gonna spoil the way I feel tonight, walkin 'round town with my man beside me."

"Know what ya mean, Jack." Ennis smiled warmly, and kept on walking leisurely down toward the larger crowds gathered near the more popular bars and restaurants.

They found the Longhorn Steak House that Casey had recommended, and the fifteen minute wait for a table was acceptable. They ordered beers and then Ennis' swiveled on his bar stool, looking around.

"What's up, ba . . Cowboy?"

"Lookin for a pay phone. Wanta call and check on the baby. Got any change?"

Jack caught the eye of the blond behind the bar. She told them there was a phone down the hall near the restrooms, but the booth outside might be quieter. She winked at Ennis after passing along this bit of info, and he blushed bright red. Jack got so tickled at him, he dumped his whole pocketful of change in Ennis' hand and shoved him toward the door. "Go call home, loverboy."

The woman came back after waiting on three men down at the end a the bar.

She asked Jack, "he callin his wife?"

"Not exactly."

"What's that mean?"

"If you must know, he's calling his mother-in-law to check on the baby."

"So, he's attached?" It was said more like a statement.

Jack grinned from ear to ear. "Oh, he's definitely attached!"

Their table was ready.

Between bites of succulent steak and fluffy baked potatoes Ennis told Jack all about the call home. He said he only talked to dad because mom had just fed Branch and was upstairs putting him to bed. He said they were having a good time, and not to worry.

"Wonder if he misses us?"

"Ennnnisss."

"Whut?"

"Don't do this."

"Don't do what?"

"Don't mess up our trip by worryin on Branch and how much we miss him."

"So! You miss him too."

"Course I do, dumbass."

"Good. Somehow that makes me feel better."

They declined dessert, and walked briskly back to their hotel. They had a busy day ahead of them tomorrow.

They showered quickly and got in bed where they made sweet love, taking all the time in the world over each other. Tenderly kissing faces, necks, nipples and ribs led to passionate joining and thrusting. They shared their joy and their bodies with each other, not missing an inch anywhere.

The sheer force of their climax was enhanced by all they'd seen and heard today; and the waiting. The waiting to be alone had been excruciating at times, but worth it now.

They were wrapped together intimately, letting their breathing settle back to normal. They nuzzled a bit, still sleepily kissing. Their eyes were closed.

"We gotta move him."

"What you talkin 'bout, Cowboy?"

"The boy. He's getting older, need to move him out of our room soon."

"I suppose. But I hate to think of him, off in another room."

"Me too. Shit."

"Jack Twist, I love you so much. When I need to have a go at you, like we just did, well . . . that's private. That's just for us. Ya know?"

"You're right, Ennis. We need our own room back. It hasn't held me back yet, him bein there, but like you said, our love life is private. . . and he's gettin older."

"Okay. No rush, but soon after we get home, we should do it."

"Okay. We'll give him his own room."

"G'night lil darlin."

"Night baby."

"Ya almost slipped and called me that tonight at that bar. I liked it that you slipped."

"Y'did?"

"Uh hunh."

Jack's face changed, Ennis could feel it against his arm. He opened one eye to peep at a grinning Jack. "Whut?"

"Boy, that little gal was hot on your trail."

"Whut li'l gal?"

"That blond bartender."

"I didn't notice."

Jack got up on his elbow and looked down at Ennis. "You liar! You blushed from head to toe when she winked at you!"

"Well, yeah. But all I could think about was callin Branch, so I never gave it 'nother thought."

"She came back two, three times askin questions 'bout you. I finally had to tell her you was attached."

"Well, true. I was "attached" a few minutes ago. If you don't quiet down and go to sleep, I might just get "attached" again."

"Good night, Ennis."

"Good night, Jack."

#

End of chapter 52.2 (FF ch 55)


	56. Chapter 56

Warning - Adult Violence

**Genre:** BBM One Shot

**Disclaimer:** John Twist is the creation of Annie Proulx.

**Universe: ** A Better Idea

**Warning!!!**: Rape, Violence, Guilt & Angst

**Word Count: **2,692

Call it Chapter 53 LJ, 56 FF. ( Contains Flashbacks)

A/N: THIS WAS WRITTEN FOR THE BLOW JOB CHALLENGE IN MAY, 2009. I AM POSTING IT HERE BECAUSE IT'S FROM THE 'A BETTER IDEA' UNIVERSE. This is a detailed account of the events already disclosed in A Better Idea in chapter 19.

PLEASE READ THESE WARNINGS. This is not a pretty story, so if you are easily upset, and way tender hearted, you should probably skip this one.

1948

Childress County Rodeo Days

Johnny Twist was smilin from ear to ear! The announcer called out his time and said "The winnin ride again folks, John Twist from Lightnin Flat, Wyomin." The Texas crowd cheered, threw their hats in the air and stomped on the bleachers, making them shake and tremble.

At the closing ceremony, he was awarded three belt buckles and two trophies, plus enough prize money to assure that he and Claire would have a good winter. John was very excited. To win all the events that he entered on this, his last outing, was just too good to be true.

John couldn't wait to get home to Claire and Little Go. Couldn't wait to see their faces when he came back a big winner. He thought he might call Dad Bell before he headed north just to share his news so the folks at home wouldn't have to wait to hear how he did in Texas.

The crowd surged around the handsome, blue-eyed champion bull-rider, asking for autographs and just wanting to pound him on the back. Always friendly and welcoming, John Twist was in his element. "Buy you a beer?" suggested one friendly fan.

John declined, claiming his need to hurry home to the wife and four year old son.

"Oh, have just one. Can't win all our prize money and then take off without letting us buy you a cold one, Johnny." A tall cowboy smiled at Twist.

Others joined in, "Come on, Twist! Let's go to the Long Branch. Y'can go home any day; this is yer day to celebrate!"

John was not a drinker, but these folks had been so welcoming, and so supportive of him, he was swept up into the excitement, and into the cab of a truck with a couple of the most vocal fans.

The Long Branch was filling up fast, and no way anyone could hear themselves think. When the rowdy crowd saw John Twist walk in, they cheered and hoisted their beers aloft in salute. He stepped up to the bar, ordered a Stroh's and went for his wallet. "Y'money's no good here Champ!"

There was a competition over who got to pay for John's beer. The losers told the bartender, "his next one's on me." Others bought and sent him shots of Jack Daniels. John quenched his thirst quickly with the first beer, then sipped a second one. He gave away the other beers.

One of the Rodeo Days Sponsors walked up, handed John a shot of Jack Daniels, and held his own aloft for a toast. "To the finest exhibition a bull ridin I seen in a long time!" They clinked glasses, and then John tossed back the smooth Tennessee whiskey.

"Thanks Bill, but now I REALLY need to head for home. Got a fourteen hour drive ahead a me." John shook the hand of his new friend, Bill Walker.

Closely watching him were the two men he rode over with, plus their friend Doug. When it became obvious that no matter how they cajoled, Twist was not going to drink any more, they had to go to Plan B.

"Have another, Johnny?"

"Nope, need to get on home, Friend. Thanks, though!"

"Come on then, we'll get you back to your truck."

As John walked with Rob and Chuck out to the truck, Doug slipped out the back door. The three men were excitedly talking, laughing and recounting the details of John's rides on the ornery bulls he drew. Meanwhile Doug drove on back to the rodeo grounds and hid his truck behind a horse trailer. He pulled out a tire iron and hid behind John's truck.

Rob drove into the deserted rodeo grounds, up near John's truck and stopped. Chuck slid out and said "Hope t'see you soon, Twist." John walked over to the truckbed to pull out his cooler that had his water and soft drinks for his long drive. As he reached over the tailgate, Rob called, "Hey, Twist?" and John looked up.

Doug stepped up behind him and swung the tire iron, knocking Johnny unconscious on the ground. Doug immediately checked his pockets for truck keys, found them, and threw them in the floorboard of John's truck. The three men lifted him and dropped him into his own truck bed, then Chuck peeled out. Doug and Rob drove their own trucks, leaving no vehicles behind for someone to get suspicious over.

One way or the other, they were going to get John Twist into the Parkview Motel. They'd already booked the end room. Since they couldn't get him drunk, they had to knock him out. Riskier, but it worked. Chuck pulled in and they lifted John into the room. They tossed him onto the floor, none too gently.

Chuck began going through John's pockets, tossing his wallet on the bed with the keys. "Doug, did you grab his trophies? Get all his gear in here."

"Rob, you got the rope?"

The men threw John on the saggy bed and undressed him. They tossed his clothes in the bathtub before tying his arms behind his back and linking his ankles together so he couldn't kick them when he woke up.

Rob got a cup of water from the bathroom and threw it in John's face, waking him before they started on him. He was groggy and kept falling back under.

Doug raised his right boot and gave John a hard kick in his kidneys, then slapped his face repeatedly. "Wake up goddamnyou!"

John moaned and tried to move but couldn't figure out where he was or why he couldn't move his extremities. When he was able to open his eyes, Rob crooned, "ain't he the purtiest blue eyed thing ya ever did see?"

John flinched when he felt a hand reach between his legs and fondle his cock and balls. He squeezed his legs together in hopes that would prevent them from getting at him again.

He recognized the voices of the men who had "befriended" him earlier, and asked "Why're you doin this? Gotta go home."

The men became enraged, blaming him for being beautiful. They said he deserved whatever he got; flaunting his sissy ass around town. Called him a faggot, a queer, and a cocksucker. The more sexual their taunts, the more engorged became their throbbing tools.

"If it's the prize money you want, take it. Jus' let me get on the road, and outa yer way."

"You don't tell us what to do; you don't call the shots here, asshole!"

"Speakin a that asshole, got a good use for it 'bout now; show this Wyomin cowboy who's boss round here." John could hear belt buckles opening, pants dropping to the floor. All three a them were sportin red, leaky cocks. For the first time, he became really afraid. He began to kick out and to cry and to cuss at them.

He made contact with Chuck's shinbone, and in retaliation, got the beatin a his life. Rob held him down while the other two punched him wherever they could land one. His face was already beginning to swell.

Rob's dick was dripping on John, and he was becoming violently aroused. He

grabbed John's chin and said "Open yer fuckin mouth, got a present for ya!" The only thing John could do to prevent it was to say "Put it in there, I'll bite the sunofabitch OFF, an' I ain't jokin!"

"OKay, then it goes in yer ass. Ya ready for that? Cause I am! I'm fuckin ready for you cowboy!" Rob smeared his own pre-come around as he warmed himself up, not for John's sake, but for his own pleasure. He plunged into John Twist's virgin ass, and began pumping and grunting. John tried twisting away from him. He was out of his mind with pain and outrage.

"Shit hold him, goddamnit!"

Chuck and Doug, both engorged and aroused as well, held John down while Rob fucked him first. Didn't take long, Rob was groaning out his release. The semen, as if in protest, leaking out of John immediately.

John's body went limp. Chuck was ready for his turn, and was angry Twist had fainted dead away. "Get some water. Wake'em up."

Rob was still jelly-legged, but managed to get another cup of water to throw in Johnny's face. He revived, and groaned with pain. "Hold him good now so I can have a go at his purty ass."

Chuck got on the bed with John and laid on top of him, but was unable to get in. "Okay, pull him over the edge, spread him out." Chuck was trembling with lust and drooling down his own chin. He finally got a position where he could hold onto John and fuck his brains out, as he called it.

This time, when the semen leaked out of John, it was pink with blood. Now it was Doug's turn. He was a very large man, with a very large penis. Sticking it in John was a tremendous feeling for him, and he began pistoning his hips in and out of John's poor tender ass. The blood poured out even before Doug came inside him.

The men had no intention of giving up on this piece a tail just yet, they just wanted to rest and revive their bulging cocks. For twenty four hours, John was held there, beaten and fucked again and again. He was dehydrated, starved and very afraid that he would die without ever again seeing anyone who loved him.

During that endless day, John changed.

He never again wanted to see anyone who loved him. Not ever. His shame overtook his need to be loved. He no longer felt worthy of being loved by anyone.

Housekeeping found him within minutes of the three men driving off. He was still tied, and covered in blood. The ambulance was there in minutes and they rushed him to the hospital in Childress, and performed emergency surgery to save his life. They repaired his perforated bowel. His rectum was torn, and he wouldn't talk to anyone.

When he recovered enough to be driven home, John demanded that no one ever be told what happened to him, especially Claire.

John Twist became a bitter, closed-off man. He was mean, sarcastic and completely unlike the man he used to be.

1983

It was only years later, after John's stroke, when Ennis Del Mar came to live there to try to help Jack whip that damn ranch into shape, that any changes began, and his façade began to crack.

John was getting some counseling at the hospital, but years of off-putting behavior had him pretty well walled off from polite society.

When Claire laid down the law and proclaimed that he would either change or get out, John finally had to do the work, and really go to counseling in earnest.

Everyone who loved him was at a loss, once they heard from Walter what had happened to John, to understand why he let that attack completely change him and ruin the rest of his life, as well as the lives of his wife and son whom he had loved to distraction.

The psychologist came up against John's brick wall too. Presumably, John had blocked most of the memories of that time, so he could not ever get past them. With the aid of hypnosis, though, the full story came out and John could finally begin to heal.

In a light trance, John divulged the atrocities that had been inflicted upon him, but the doctor knew those were old news. They were not what had John so locked down emotionally.

"Okay John, I understand. Now tell me what else occurred in that motel room. Take your time. Tell it just like it was happening now."

John was back in that room; the three men were there too, alive and subjecting him to repeated violent and sadistic acts. John began to cry and to writhe on the psychologist's couch.

"What is happening now, John?

"They are resting, but I hurt so bad. I don't dare make any noise; if they wake up they will come after me again. Oh, I hear the toilet flush. One of them is awake."

John began to moan and groan, writhing, twisting, and gasping.

"What's happening now, John?"

"It's not right, no!"

Rob had crept into John's bed and began biting his shoulder and his nipples. John didn't want him to do that. He tried to pull away, but then Rob began kissing down his chest and into his navel and on to his pubic hair. None of the men had as yet been gentle with him, this was the first time.

John was less fearful. He began to relax, thinking he was not to be tortured this time. The kisses and fondling were unwanted, but they didn't hurt. So he allowed it, and lay still.

Eventually, Rob nibbled his way down to John's dick, and took him in his mouth. He wasn't biting or hitting, so again John adopted the 'wait and see tactic'. Rob kissed and licked the underside of John's cock, and his balls. He took them gently into his mouth and swirled them around with his tongue.

John thought that felt okay. It didn't hurt yet. Then Rob fingered his asshole and John shot straight up in pain. "Stop!"

Rob stopped.

In a minute or so, he began all over. Licking and kissing John's nipples and chest, and then he quickly surged lower to take John's hard-on into his mouth. He swirled, and sucked and licked, and John felt good. He knew it was wrong to take pleasure in this way. But it felt so right. And he'd had nothing but pain and torture seemingly for weeks on end. It was actually a little over a day, but it seemed an eternity.

John had not realized that he'd achieved an erection, but when Rob began to suck in earnest, John started pumping his hips in and out and fucking Rob's mouth. With a tremendous rush of blood and adrenalin, John Twist came with a roar of sound, spurting his own life-giving seed into Rob's mouth. Ironically, at that moment, he thought "I don't even know his last name."

Once he was rescued, he could not believe what he had done. He had had sex with a man, spilled his semen into an unclean receptacle, and he had sinned against God, against Claire and Jack, and most of all against himself.

John never forgave himself. He never told a soul, and was determined to go to his grave with this horrid secret. He didn't even tell Walter.

With his family's support, John went to this very good psychologist and learned many things about the human condition. One of his assignments was to read books about something that happens to prisoners, or hostages. It's called The Stockholm Syndrome. Once he realized that it truly wasn't his fault, and that it didn't make him queer, nor a bad person, he read more and more about this phenomenon.

His main source of support, surprisingly was EnnisDel Mar, and Claire's brother, Walter Bell. Eventually, John Twist could open his heart to all the people he had wanted to let in, and let them love him, but just hadn't been able to until now.

He was only able to forgive himself for enjoying a blow job by a man, a man who was his captor only after reading several books about how it happened to so many others. He felt less alone than he had before. And he knew he had the support of all those he loved.

.

.


	57. Chapter 57

Title: A Better Idea

Genre: BBM a/u

Disclaimer: Main characters belong to Annie Proulx, the rest are mine

Warning: Alert - Het Sex - Alert

Summary: After the "I wish I knew how to quit you" argument at the trailhead in 1983, Ennis and Jack indeed have a better idea.

Dedication: This story is dedicated to Heath Ledger

Feedback: Yes, I love it. I hope my story brings you peace.

A Better Idea - 54 LJ - 57 FF

The thing is, it wasn't Branch's fault. Mostly not, anyway. He had climbed up on a chair and taken the grape kool-aid out of the refrigerator, sure. But his cousin Rose had spilled it on Gran's couch. Both kids ran to the kitchen to grab towels or whatever they could find to clean up the mess before Gran came in from weeding her vegetable garden.

The beverage wiped right up, staining the towels purple. What they didn't know was the family room furniture had been treated with Scotch-Guard before it was even delivered to the house in Loveland. The kids just knew they were in deep trouble, as they pulled a chair up to the kitchen sink to be able to reach the faucets and rinse the grape drink stains out of the dish towels.

They were supposed to have been taking a nap. But Rose would be six on her next birthday, and Branch was almost four. It was their considered opinion that they were much too old for naps. Naps are for babies, after all. Babies like the 3 month old twins, Luke and Amy.

After rinsing the towels and wringing them out, Rose and Branch carefully arranged them on Gran's drying rack before hurrying off to take that nap.

At Jenny and Bobby's wedding two weeks ago, Branch and Rose had been questioned about their status as ring bearer and flower girl, and what was their relationship to the bride and groom? The boy carefully explained again, "Jenny is my sister, and Bobby is my brother."

Rose merely nodded, "And they're both my cousins."

When the questioner looked confused, and they always seemed to, Branch gave his stock answer; "ya ever hear a the Brady Bunch? Like that!" He did not know what the Brady Bunch was, but he'd heard his dads describe their blended family one time, saying "Yep, we're like the Brady Bunch, for sure!"

It must be good because everyone smiled and nodded their head when he said it.

Ten minutes later, Gran came in from the garden ready for a cold glass of iced tea. She spied the towels on the rack, and then the purple steaks across the counter top. It didn't take her more than two seconds to scope out all that had gone on.

She took a clean, soapy sponge and wiped down the sticky couch, dried it off and then went to find her mischievous grandchildren. When she peaked into the bedroom that Branch always used when staying with her, she found them just exactly where they were supposed to have been for the past hour.

They were asleep now, both of their heads on the same pillow. 'My little angels' she thought to herself, as she walked, chuckling, over to her reading chair. Claire got through seven pages or so of her newest book, drank half of her iced tea before she too, fell fast asleep.

"Gimme a hand, Cowboy?"

"Sure thing." smiled Ennis, and he began to applaud.

"Oh, you're a riot Del Mar! This is heavy, come on!"

"You really need my help?"

"Yes, dumbass, or I wouldn't have asked for it!"

Ennis approached Jack, lowered his eyes seductively, and bit Jack on his bottom lip. "Mmmm, I love me some bitchin Jack Twist, yes, I do."

"Yer sense a timin sucks, Ennis! You gonna help me or not?!"

"Nope, not till you gimme a kiss, and ask me real sweet."

"Oh, wait till I get my hands on you!"

"Promises, promises." crooned Ennis.

Jack set the end of the cedar chest down, and approached Ennis, sighing loudly. "Oh, the things I gotta do ta get some co-operation around here!" he mocked.

Jack pecked a tiny kiss on Ennis' cheek, and said "Okay, let's get this moved . . . please."

Ennis folded his arms across his chest. "Ya call that a kiss??"

"OH, now my kisses ain't good enough?!"

"Not by half."

"Guess ya better show me then, big boy."

Jack didn't have to invite Ennis twice. He strode to his man's side and took him in strong arms. He bent Jack backwards and theatrically planted a man-sized kiss on his mouth – with major tongue!

Bobby and Jenny were carrying boxes and clothes into the house and up the stairs when they spied the two clinched in a passionate kiss in the living room. They smiled. How could they not? Bobby yelled out "get a room, you two!"

After they caught their breath, and ignoring the children, Ennis said "You need some help, darlin?"

"Why yes, thank you, sweetheart."

"Anytime." And Ennis' brown eyes twinkled into Jack's blues."

They got that cedar chest moved up the stairs and into the kids' bedroom in no time.

Maggie reached into the tub of ice, beers and cokes. She pulled out drinks for herself and Dolph; Daniel and Rebecca could fend for themselves.

The adults in the family had pitched in to get Jenny and Bobby moved into their newly rented house close to the animal hospital where Bobby's residency was set to begin next week.

After the wedding, the bride and groom had taken off for two weeks of much needed downtime, and alone time. Rested and refreshed, they were very happy to be beginning their married life here in Greeley, and happy to have their family here, helping them get set-up.

Neither of the mothers were here, however.

Alma was at home in Riverton caring for Luke and Amy, Junior and Kurt's twins. Monroe was a surprising ally and a much needed set of hands. He was as good at changing and feeding babies as Alma was, and they made a great team. They were enjoying being first time grand parents together!

Lureen and her husband, Drew, had come by while the couple was on their honeymoon. They painted the master bedroom and the living room as a surprise for Jenny and Bobby. Today they were on the first leg of a flight to London, Dublin and Edinburgh. Drew was still a commercial pilot, but thinking of settling down, maybe getting into administration so he could be home with his lovely wife more often.

Junior and Kurt had their lunch of pizza and soft drinks along with the family. They had both declined beers, and had looked at their watches several times. "Somethin tells me you're headin out soon." said Ennis.

Junior smiled. "Yeah, daddy. I miss the babies, and so does Kurt. We got a six hour drive ahead a us, so we need to be goin pretty soon."

Nodding his head, Ennis said "I know how it is."

"Yeah, mama and Monroe said not to worry, to stay another night if we wanted to, but we just want to hold the twins. Ya don't think we are bein silly, do ya?"

"Silly as any new parent, darlin. Been there, done that. So I completely understand. You take care of yourselves and call as soon as you get home so we know you are okay."

Jack walked over and put his arm around Ennis' waist; he'd noticed the body language too, and wanted to say goodbye to Junior and Kurt. He'd seen how anxious they were to get back.

Jenny and Bobby hugged Junior and Kurt and thanked them for all their help moving. As they put the last few items in the car, Junior said to everyone in general, "Bye, come see us. Tell Gran and Poppa we'll see them soon." And they drove off, heading north to see their babies.

Two hours later, everyone seemed satisfied that the furniture, clothing, books, kitchen items and personal belongings were moved in and set up as best they could in the rooms they were destined for. The newlyweds would have to fine tune it all.

They all began to pack their own belongings into vehicles to head back home.

"Know you'll be busy, but try to come for supper on Sunday, hear?" Ennis said to Bobby and Jenny as he hugged them goodbye.

Jack kissed Jenny, hugged Bobby and smiled at them as he said "You're on your own. Know you can handle it! We gotta git, Maggie and Dolph are having withdrawal pains for Rose."

"And us for Branch!" chimed in Ennis. "Oh, don't forget your first supper is in your fridge, just re-heat it. Gran wanted to be sure you didn't have to cook tonight.

At last the newlyweds were alone in their own home.

The boxes sitting all over their house didn't deter them. Bobby cleared the clutter off the dining table that his Gramma Newsome had given them. It was the same little oak plank table she'd shared with her new family when Lureen was learning to sit at the table with her parents and eat with a fork, like a big girl. It was a sentimental gift, to be sure.

Jenny had Gran's meal heating in the oven, and she got out the drinks, put ice in the glasses, and began to set the table.

"Bobby, where's our set a dishes aunt Iris 'n uncle Walter gave us for our wedding? Is that the blue box over there?"

Bob found the dishes, and scrounged around till he came up with the set of cutlery that Ennis had given them. They had registered for it, so the pattern was to their liking. He washed all the new stuff in hot soapy water, dried them and then put them in their assigned places. Did they need a table cloth, he wondered?

Jenny dug into a box she had kept aside for this important occasion; their first meal in the first home together. She had sparkling glass candlestick holders and gleaming white candles. Alma had given them to her at her very first wedding shower.

Bobby turned off the oven, and set the casserole and side dishes on the range top to let them cool a minute.

Jenny lit the candles, turned out the overhead light, and decided that the scene was set perfectly for this important occasion. Just then, her husband was behind her, grasping her hips and pulling her back against himself. He rubbed into her, Jenny turned to and took him in her arms, pressing herself into him. "Been waitin all day for this! For everyone to leave."

He kissed her neck, making her weak with desire, so much so that her knees gave way. He lifted her in his arms and carried her up the stairs. All the way up the staircase, each step was made more difficult because Jenny was pulling on him, unbuttoning his shirt, wriggling here and there to get at his skin.

They fell together onto the bed, the brand new bed. "Wait!" she cried, hopping up and pulling the new satin bedspread, the new percale top sheet, and anything else that got in her way, right off the bed and threw them on the floor. Bobby was stunned, this was his wife and she was like a tiger!

He pulled his tee shirt off over his head, and kicked off his shoes. "C'mere Tiger!" She leapt on him and unbuckled his belt, and started on his pants.

He fumbled with her clothes too, she was wearing bermuda shorts and a top.

When they were both naked except for her bra, he reached behind her to unhook it, one handed. He wasn't making much headway, when she said "here, let me." And she reached behind her and unhooked it as she had all her grown up years. Her full breasts were magnetic to his eyes and hands.

They stopped breathing. Just taking each other in was erotic enough, they were both wet and ready. Jenny pushed him down on the bed, and straddled him. Her goal was to ride him, impale herself on him, but without much practice, her aim wasn't that good. She had to grab hold of him and find where to insert him. When she had him fully inside of her, she clenched her muscular walls around him, driving him crazy. She pushed up with her ankles and lower legs, and thrust her butt downward, over and over in a heated frenzy. Neither of them could last with this going on. They came, screaming loving and lustful words into the air of their new bedroom. The sweat they had generated made it difficult for her to stay up on her perch, they lay down and held each other till they became coherent enough to speak again.

Within ten minutes, she felt his cock nudge her thigh, and she turned towards him and smiled. "And they say I'm insatiable!"

"Who says you're insatiable?!" he said with a wicked grin.

She smiled nysteriously, and he nibbled the side of her mouth, then her ear, and down to her breasts. He suckled gently while exploring elsewhere with his fingers. Bobby was in a place mentally, that he'd never been before. Her scent was all over him and around him. Without a thought, his body slid lower in the bed until he found her warmth, he pressed his face into her, stuck his tongue out seeking the nucleus of her womanhood.

He breathed her in more, and reached for her breasts with both hands, cupping them, and fondling them, while he delved into her folds with his hot, wet, mouth, licking and sucking. The moans and noises that were coming from his wife, his tiger, were driving him to the brink. He took his face away and asked "am I hurting you?"

She pushed her pelvis higher, towards his mouth, and said "no, don't stop, don't stop." She had heard about this loving with the mouth, one person to another, but couldn't imagine that it would be something she would ever do or ever allow. But at this moment, she never wanted him to stop. And she realized, she wanted to do it to him too. Wanted to taste him, suck him, make him scream with pleasure.

Before it was too late, she pulled away from him. Not knowing how to ask for what she wanted, she said, "can you move around here? Let me get 'hold of you too?"

Bobby feared that he was misunderstanding her. Surely, she didn't want to suck him? Is that what she meant? He began to move and watched for clues as to what she wanted. His head was still spinning, so he could be imagining things. When he got nearly into position, she reached over and pulled him to her, pulled his cock near her mouth and tentatively licked the dripping head. She licked up the shaft and down the other side, and was beginning to warm to this idea greatly.

She lay flat on the bed and took him in lengthwise, but began gagging and choking.

"Ya alright, Jenny?"

"You just get back to what you were doing, Mister, let me figure this out on my own, okay?"

He chuckled, and once again sought her warm folds, teasing her nub with his tongue, and then sucking. As he got into it again, his mouth was full of his own juices and hers, and he could suddenly feel her tightening up, pushing up toward him, and beginning to tremble like an earthquake was about to hit.

He was taken by surprise when she began sucking him in earnest, and when he put his fingers inside of her, she clenched on them with grand waves and tremors. They both came with exhultant, exhilarating, and mind-blowing orgasms. Never knew this . . . was . . oh my god. This was . . . uh omg, I can't talk.

"I'm a wet noodle."

"Me too."

"Thought you were my Tiger."

"Okay, sexy man, I'm your wet Tiger noodle."

Three hours later, they had napped, revived, explored and fucked again and napped again. They woke up starving!

They pulled on comfy sleep clothes, and in bare feet they walked down the stairs to discover they'd forgotten in their haste and lust to put out the candles. There were two blobs of white wax stuck to Gramma Newsome's table.

In the kitchen, the congealed food was still sitting on the stove top, and they got plates and scooped it out cold. They carried their plates and drinks upstairs and sat on the bed, indian style, knees to knees, and ate the most delicious meal they'd ever put in their mouths.

"I ain't complainin, mind you, but where was this tiger when we was on our honeymoon?"

"Don't know. I was totally exhausted from the wedding preparations, and work has been hectic. Besides, there were people on both sides of our hotel room. I felt more touristy or something. Being in our own home has allowed me the freedom to be passionate."

"I love this new you, Mrs. Twist."

"Likewise, Mr. Twist."

"That'll soon be Doctor Twist, to you!"

"You're right! Doc Twist it is."

"Want some coffee, Tiger? I'll take our plates downstairs."

"Okay, I'll take some coffee. And, um, check to see if that whipped cream is still in the fridge."

Bobby blushed as he scolded "Jenny Del Mar!!!"

"Nobody here by that name; it's Tiger Twist from now on, doc!!"

Tbc~.


	58. Chapter 58

**Title****:** _**A Better Idea**_

_**Chapter: 55 LJ – 58 FF**_**  
****Fandom: Brokeback Mountain****  
****Rating: NC-17 for language, explicit sexual content****  
****Genre: a/u ****  
****Pairing: Ennis / Jack****  
****Words: 2262****  
****Warnings: None****  
****Disclaimer: The O/S characters belong to Annie Proulx, all the rest are my own creation. No profit or fame being sought from this, my own story****  
****Notes: This story is dedicated to Heath Ledger****  
****Summary: After the "I wish I knew how to quit you" argument at the Trail Head in 1983, Ennis and Jack finally have a better idea****  
****Feedback: Yes, please. I hope my story brings you peace**

A/N: My last chapter made a 3 ½ year jump in time, some folks feared they had missed a chapter – they had. There was a chapter in progress that did not get posted.

So to fill in some of the gaps – here it is, reworked and hopefully, it fills in some of what happened during that time we missed. Sorry for any confusion this caused. There will still be gaps in time, while Ennis and Jack live their day to day lives in private. Judy

A Better Idea - 55 LJ - 57 FF

Following Branch's christening, Brian and Beth Robiskie became frequent visitors to the Del Mar / Twist family home in Loveland. It was easy to forget that Brian was a man of the cloth when he was pulling in catfish hand over fist, filleting them, and frying them up all battered and golden brown.

The four of them became fishing buddies, often ending up at one or the other's houses to make dinner and relax, taking a break from their busy weeks.

It was a new and welcome experience for Ennis and Jack to meet and become friends with another young couple.

Ennis kept in touch with both KE and Maggie, mostly by phone. He wasn't much of a letter-writer. There were so many new things to tell about: the move, the house and ranch getting finished, the pups, then the baby. And there was always news about the family. There was never a shortage of things to talk about. They always asked to talk to Jack some too, and enjoyed the tales of their adventures.

When Rose was two and a half years old, Maggie's husband, Joe Cooper, died without ever waking from his coma. Her family held a private ceremony at the house in Casper, following the cremation. Joe's older children came but left without making peace with Maggie. She offered his ashes to them if they wished to keep them or dispose of them in a significant setting, but they declined. He'd been gone from them for nearly five years by this time. They had already done their grieving. They all had.

Maggie felt especially tender towards them, after all, she had raised them with Joe, after their mother died. It made her sad that yet another family had lost both father and mother, just as she, KE and Ennis had done. Joe's and Kathryn's children, though adults, were orphans for real now. She would have wished it to be otherwise. She wished they would look to her for the comfort they would surely need.

Ennis and Jack drove to Casper to assist Maggie and Dolph with anything that needed attending to. At the ceremony, they stood with Maggie and her children. Afterward, Daniel and Rebecca wanted to bring their dad's ashes to a mountain top or a stream, where Joe's earthly remains could be released; where he could be free at last. Maggie thought that was a fitting and respectful tribute to her late husband.

Ennis and Jack ended their visit by packing the family of five up bag and baggage and bringing them to Loveland for a little or a lot. However long they decided to stay they'd be welcome. At first they stayed at Ennis and Jack's house, even though it made for kinda close quarters.

Early on a Monday morning, a few weeks after they'd settled in, an incident occurred. Jack went out to the porch to see if they had anything to throw into a load of whites he was getting ready to wash. Before they knew anyone had stepped out the door, Maggie turned away from Dolph. "Oh pardon me Mr. Henderson, I seem to have overstepped my boundaries."

"Give me a break, Maggie, I don't know what I can do about it!" Dolph replied.

It became apparent to Ennis after Jack related this exchange to him that Maggie and Dolph were putting pressure on themselves and their relationship because they were living together without benefit of marriage. He knew they had never actually lived together in Casper. They had the children and the neighbors to think of. But here in Loveland, the family had put them together in one space, and thought it appropriate. It was causing friction.

He didn't know if he should talk to Reverend Brian first, or to his sister first.

Jack suggested talking to the three of them at the same time, so a plan was put in motion. Brian and Beth came for supper on Friday night. Jack got Beth outside after dinner, suggesting he needed her help to identify some of the planets. They looked through the telescope that was kept on the back porch while Ennis launched his project in the living room.

Everyone was sipping a beer or a cup of coffee. They were all full and quite relaxed when Ennis said in a musing tone, "Brian, if a couple was new to the area, and had no specific church membership, but they wanted very badly to get married, where should they start?"

Dolph sputtered, "How did you . . . ?" Maggie smiled, she had long wanted this discussion to be aired openly. Brian caught on that there might be some issues, he smiled broadly and said, "they should start by coming to see me, I'd be happy to help them set it up."

"But what if one of those people is white, and the other is not, what then?" demanded Dolph.

"In the eyes of God, all of us are created equal, Dolph. But if the couple themselves has issues about the color difference, then that's another story. Let's be clear. Are we talking about you and Maggie?"

"Yes, but I don't think . . ."

"You don't love my sister?" prodded Ennis, for he surely knew the answer.

"You know I do, Ennis. That is not . . . It's those other people; the ones who would shun her, or even harm her or our children. You can't know how I worry about . . . "

"B'lieve me I do. I held out on living my life with Jack for so many years, due to the fear of someone hurting him, or the possible repercussions on our children, or even the folks in the community thinking less of both of us. Does that sound familiar?"

"It does, Ennis."

"But Dolph, you really cannot live your life by what other people might think or do. You can only control what you choose to do. That's it. If you choose to be happy with the woman you love and your children, that's a great start."

"Dolph, Maggie, Ennis makes a good point, but he's only qualified to speak for himself. I will pray for you two that you work out together what is right for the both of you and those you love. If you decide you want to discuss this further, then please call me. My number's on this card."

After handing Maggie his business card, he put an arm around each of them and headed for the kitchen. "I heard a rumor that there was pineapple upside down cake around here somewhere!" The rest of the evening went along with pleasant conversation and great company.

Jack tried to teach Brian to play "42" but not being used to playing or scoring dominoes, he didn't quite get the hang of the strategy. "I think it'll take at least one or two more sessions, if you don't mind Jack. I'm more used to playing cards than dominoes, but I want to learn it."

Jack was relentless. Where he'd lived in Texas, 42 was the most popular game, and he got hooked on it. So when they began living together, he taught Ennis first; then his mama and daddy, then Jenny and Bobby, and on down the line. Ennis liked to say "Don't pause in front of Jack Twist 'lest you wanta be taught how to play 42.

_When Jack first mentioned teaching Ennis a game called 42, he chuckled._

"_What?"_

"_Last game I played was Hi Ho Cherry-O or maybe Chutes and Ladders with Junior and Jenny. It was either give in and play a game, or get down on the floor and play Barbies with them."_

_Jack laughed. Then he remembered all those games of Battleship he and Bobby had played. "You were always a good daddy, Ennis."_

"_Ha! Sez you. Wanna ask Alma about that one?"_

_But that was a few years back and Ennis did learn to play 42, and they both know now that Alma always gives Ennis credit for being a good daddy . . . after she got over her anger, that is._

In bed that night, Ennis filled Jack in on what had transpired regarding the Maggie/Dolph marriage idea. He was pleased that at least now there was a discussion.

He asked Jack how his part of the plan had gone. Jack laughed, "Not like I expected, that's for sure."

"Whaddaya mean?"

"Soon as we finished checking out the moon and the North Star, Beth turns to me 'why'd you really ask me to come out here?' she says. I ain't a very good liar, so I told her the truth."

"How'd she react to that?"

"She didn't mind. Many times the minister's wife is not privy to his discussions with parishioners, but usually they are held in his study behind closed doors. Then she said there were a hundred other things I could have chosen to talk to her about instead o'the night sky. I said 'like what?'. She told me she knew I had been a bull-rider in my time, then she proceeded to tell me that she was a rodeo brat. Her daddy was a professional bull-rider and he traveled the circuit. Her mama, Beth and her little brother went with him every step a the way. We coulda talked for two more hours, but I saw that you all were back in the kitchen and I didn't want to miss out on that cake!"

"Y'ever heard a her daddy?"

"Not sure, maybe."

"Y'know what? You should ask your dad. Maybe they run across each other at some point."

"I'll do that. Might make him perk up some. He ain't been feelin good lately. I ain't never said nothing, Cowboy, but I'm worried."

"Know y'are, bud. I am too."

"C'mere."

Ennis thought he would just hold Jack and comfort him, but his own body had a different idea. He began to lick down Jack's neck and back up under his jaw, kissing and sucking at the soft places of his man: at the hollow of his throat, behind his ear and at his temples. If there was anything he could do to cut short Jack's worryin for a few minutes he would sure do it.

He allowed his fingers to glide down Jack's torso till he cupped his ass and pulled him closer, delighting in the familiar texture of skin and hair in perfect complement. Tonight he took time to anticipate the lovemaking, and to prepare Jack; the delay making it all that much more delicious. It was the same for Jack. But in time he was writhing and moaning, he could wait no longer.

Ennis was lubed and ready to please his man in seconds. He lifted Jack's legs up over his own shoulders and slid home. He needed to tell him with his eyes as well as his body that he was here, and he was his, just like this, always. The pleasure was so intense his body began trembling. Ennis stayed still for a time, waiting to regain his composure.

When he was back in control of himself, he made love to Jack with all the fervor they'd become accustomed to over their years together. Without saying the words, he was offering himself, his love and support to Jack for whatever difficulties lay ahead of them. Everyone has worries, they are no different. But they have the love of their lives standing beside them when bad news comes knocking on their door.

&&&&&&&&&&

They were just falling asleep when they heard Branch waking up. He was crying, which was unusual for him. Sounded like he had a bad dream. Jack went down the hall and got him, carried him back to their bed.

"Is he dry?"

Jack stuck his finger down Branch's pajamas and felt his training pants. "Yeah, let me take him to the bathroom." When the boy had peed and got a drink of water, he seemed to be back to normal. They'd started potty training him a couple weeks ago, and he seemed to be ready for it. It sure was nice not to have diapers to wash all the time.

"You ready to go back to bed now, Bran?"

"mulk"

"Jack, stay with him and I'll run down and get his milk. Okay?"

When Ennis came back upstairs he was carrying a small juice glass of milk, and a tiny bib, in case of spills. Branch climbed off of Jack's lap and went to sit on Ennis'. He smiled, "daddy" and reached for the glass.

"Hey now. You sit down on my lap, get settled first." As soon as the boy was seated, Ennis held the glass up to his mouth, letting him get little sips. Branch held the glass too; tiny hands and strong hands, balancing the glass together. When the milk was almost gone, Ennis let go, allowing Branch to hold it all by himself till the milk was finished. "Big boy, you're doin a good job, son."

Ennis handed the empty glass to Jack. Branch hugged both arms around Ennis' neck. His eyes were drooping. "Give daddy a good night kiss, you're goin back to bed now."

So Ennis leaned over where Branch could give and receive his kisses from Jack, and then walked back to the boy's room. "Ya'll right?"

The boy nodded.

"Give daddy a kiss".

As Ennis covered the growing boy, he said "Good night, son. Sleep tight."

Tbc~.


	59. Chapter 59

Title: _A Better Idea_  
Fandom: Brokeback Mountain  
Rating: NC-17 for language, explicit sexual content  
Genre: a/u  
Pairing: Ennis / Jack  
Words: 2752  
Warnings: None  
Disclaimer: The O/S characters belong to Annie Proulx, all the rest are my own creation. No profit or fame being sought from this, my own story  
Notes: This story is dedicated to Heath Ledger  
Summary: After the "I wish I knew how to quit you" argument at the Trail Head in 1983, Ennis and Jack finally have a better idea  
Feedback: Yes, please. I hope my story brings you peace.

A/N Once again this is backfill, in the time before Jenny and Bobby got married. I like this time period, so who can blame me for staying awhile?

ABI 56 – FF 59

Claire invited Dolph to come stay with her and John as long as he wanted. It was the perfect solution, seeing as he still hadn't reconciled himself to living under the same roof as Maggie, without the benefit of Holy Matrimony.

He could sleep better over there too. Lord only knows, it was impossible to fall sleep with the woman he loved in the bed right along side him. It made him crazy with desire, and he ended every night by making sweet love to her.

That was great, but then he regretted it every morning. He felt like a cheater. Maggie was free to marry, and so was he, but he still hadn't gotten past the worry part . . . the part that thought everyone was looking at them and wondering; the part that saw the hatred on the faces; the part that feared for his woman's safety and that of their children.

Dolph liked being with John and Claire, and he found he could be useful. The truth was, he was about 12 years or so younger than John, and was able to give him a hand with stuff, lifting and such. Their conversations were different than the younger folks over at Ennis' and Jack's house too. And there was less ruckus.

There was time to think, time to sit on the porch swing and reflect on what he should do. He missed being in Maggie's bed, that was a given. He had just about decided on what he thought they should do. . . and when they should do it. He asked Claire what was the best place to buy a wedding ring.

At the end of the month Claire, John and Dolph drove into Loveland to see John's doctor, and to go to the jewelry store. They told Jack they were going shopping and left it at that. Some things were secret till they needed to be otherwise.

Might as well not stir up trouble before one was sure about their facts. Actually, John had perked up quite a bit since Dolph joined them, but every day Claire could see that it took more and more out of John to do the little chores he kept for himself. He was slowing down. The only reason they had a doctor appointment was because she insisted!

While the Twists were at Doc Morgan's, Dolph went over to Gaines Jewelry Barn, and looked around. Oh, what had he gotten himself into? He was totally lost amidst the glitter and the finery. Dolph didn't have a clue as to whether Maggie liked yellow gold or white; platinum or silver . . and then he realized that the diamond could be cut in many different shapes . . and the sizes were completely baffling. Carats? What's that mean? He checked out some prices though before he left the store, and had a pretty good idea what he could afford to buy if his beautiful intended bride said 'yes'.

The doctor's receptionist told Dolph to have a seat in the waiting room, but when he faced all those 'lady magazines' he declined to stay. He said "Tell Mr. and Mrs. Twist they can find me at the hardware store when they are through here." Off he went to look at the tools and gadgets.

The nurse took the little suction cups off John's chest and back. He'd had a few tests, including this EKG. The doctor was now ready to share the results with them. "John, these tell the story of why you are feeling listless and lethargic. Your heart is slowing down, and is not pumping as strongly as it used to. Your cells aren't getting the oxygen that you need."

"I can take it, doc, am I gonna die?" Claire gasped out loud when he said that word.

"No, John, not for a while anyway. We're gonna try some medication, see if that gets your motor running better." As he spoke, he wrote out a couple prescriptions and handed them to Claire. "Take these as prescribed, for two weeks and then give me a call. I'll want a status report. Take them for another two weeks and then come to see me in a month. We'll decide at that time how to proceed. If these are doing the job, we'll keep you on'em."

As Doc Morgan ushered them out, he called "Billie Jo, John needs to see me a month from today, give him a mid-morning slot." When she'd made the appointment, she told them their friend was at the hardware store.

Dolph was just coming out of Blumenthal's Hardware when Claire spied him, they were walking over to the pharmacy. She waved, and he caught up with them as they entered the drug store. "How'd you make out at the jewelry store, Dolph?" He was carrying a small bag, but it had Blumenthal's on it.

"Don't even ask! How'd you make out at the doctor's?"

"As you said, don't EVEN ask!" He looked at her strangely, and decided to wait until they volunteered the information. Privately, he'd been concerned about John's condition, so he hoped it was better news.

*

Dolph felt silly about it, but he was nervous. He found Ennis out in the barn shaking feed down into the trough. "Uh, Ennis, talk to you a minute?"

Ennis turned, seeing Dolph standing there with his hat in his hand, he asked "What's up?". Seemed something was wrong, Ennis didn't like it.

"Well, you know what's goin on. How it's been 'round here."

"You tellin me you're takin off, leavin us, Dolph?

"What? No! No, Ennis, I'm here to ask for your sister's hand in marriage."

Ennis threw down the hay rake and clapped his arms around Dolph, pounding him on the back. "Good man, good man!"

Dolph flushed from head to toe, then swiped his shirtsleeve across his forehead to dry it. He smiled bashfully at Ennis. "Then you think it'd be okay?"

"Maggie's a grown woman, and seems to me you are the love a her life . . so it's up to the two a you, all the way." Ennis couldn't stop smiling. "Let me know when it's time to celebrate!"

Dolph walked out of the barn, a little steadier than he'd walked in.

*

That night, Maggie and Dolph called all the children together. Daniel, Becca and Rose were in the bedroom, Dolph walked over and closed the door. "Oh, oh", each one thought, "what have I done wrong now?"

Maggie and Dolph reached over and took each other's hands. "Children, Dolph has something very serious to ask each of us."

With a humble voice, he said, "Tonight I asked your mama to marry me, but she said I had to ask you all first." He pulled Maggie's hand to his lips and kissed it, waiting for the children to find their voice.

Daniel said, "Mama, is this what you want? You ain't just doin it cause he's been takin care a us kids and the land and all, ever since daddy got sick? Or cause he's the finest man we know?"

Maggie shook her head No, at Daniel.

"Only if you love him, mama. We love Dolph so much, but don't marry him 'lest you do too." Said Becca.

Rose looked from one person to another, she saw the mood lighten up a bit and she started jumping up and down. Raising her arms to Dolph she cried, "Daddy, pick Rosie up!"

He picked up his baby girl, now nearly four, and hoisted her on one arm.

With the other arm, he circled Maggie's shoulders. "Soundin like a Yes to me, Maggie? What do you say girl? Will you be my wife?"

She put both her arms around his waist and raised her face to his. "Only for a million years, my darling, only for forever." She put her face into his chest and snuggled into his shirt collar, her tears wetting his shirt, but nobody minded. The kids circled the happy couple and joined in the gladness and had a big group hug.

"Let's go out and tell the family, what say?"

Ennis knew what was going on upstairs, so when eight feet came tromping down the steps, (Dolph was still carrying Rose) he looked up expectantly, a big smile on his face.

He'd told Jack about the conversation in the barn, but hadn't gotten to the part about asking the children yet, but it was pretty evident there was a celebration going on!

Branch took Rose's hand and they began to jump and dance. He had no idea what they were happy about, but he knew they were all so happy. Bailey, Barley and Bobo got into the act, jumping and barking excitedly till Jack decided they could celebrate better elsewhere. "Outside now, come on!"

When it was a little quieter in the house, Becca said "We're getting married!"

And Rose echoed, "Yeth, we're getting mar-weed." Still jumping, Branch said "mar-weed!" and he giggled.

Jack and Ennis shook Dolph's hand and hugged and kissed Maggie while congratulating both. Dolph asked if he could call John and Claire over for the announcement. While he did that, Ennis went to the refrigerator and got some beers. When he handed them out, the kids were all just standing there looking at him. "Oh,yeah. Sorry!"

He called out "Apple juice, orange or grape?" Rose and Branch got their juice, but were now required to stay in the kitchen as long as they had liquid.

Becca didn't want a drink bad enough to stay away from the adults.

Daniel looked especially down hearted, so Maggie shared a small juice glass of beer from her bottle. "I forget you'll be 18 next birthday, Daniel. But this is just this once - for this special celebration. Keep a sip for the toast!"

When Claire and John walked in, Jack handed both a beer for the Toast. But John surprised everyone by declining. "Got any coffee?"

He walked over and put the beer back into the fridge, then poured a cup of lukewarm coffee. "Let me heat that up for you, dad." Jack said. "Nah, it's alright like it is. What're we celebrating anyway?" he was grinning slyly, so it was apparent Claire had told him about Dolph's foray into the jewelry store.

After everyone had toasted the happy couple, Dolph cleared his throat. He said "Thanks for everyone's good wishes for our happy life together. Maggie and I sure do appreciate everything you've done for us here in Loveland. We'd like to settle here permanently, 'cause we've come to love and depend on every one of you in this extended family."

He got lots of murmurs of good feelings right back. "And now, I have a request to make."

Everyone looked at Dolph with surprise.

"I'd like to ask you John, will you be my Best Man?"

John stammered and hem-hawed, and then he nodded. "Well, if you're sure. Yeah!" Dolph reached out and shook John's hand. "Thanks, man."

"Well, that does call for a drink!" said Jack. He pulled the Ancient Age out of the cupboard, and several shot glasses. "Who wants to be next after Dolph and dad?"

As everyone stood around the table, John spoke up. "None for me, son."

"What? Never heard you turn down . . ."

"Can't. It won't mix with my medicine."

That stopped everyone in their tracks.

"What's goin on?" asked Jack.

Ennis had stepped to Jack's side, to be there, no matter what. They'd both been expecting something, but you're never ready when it comes. Never.

"Well, this old ticker is slowin down, and Doc Morgan gave me some pills to get'er right as rain again. Just can't drink alcohol when I'm takin the stuff."

"He's telling the truth, and I've seen some improvement already. So don't you worry none, Jack. I'm takin good care a him." Said his mama.

*

That night in bed, Ennis held Jack extra close and extra tight. They'd made love then talked about Maggie and Dolph finally getting their chance at happiness. Waited long 'nuff, just like us. They agreed.

"Guess KE was the only Del Mar to get it right on the first try."

"S'pect so." Said Jack. "But hey! I was your first try, wasn't I?"

"Yes, baby. First, last and always."

*

They were married a month later in the church, following the last Sunday Worship Service. Reverend Brian Robisky performed the nuptials, his wife Beth was a Witness. Anyone in the congregation was invited to stay if they so desired. About half did, particularly those from the choir. Maggie and Dolph had been singing in the choir so they were becoming well known to the other parishioners.

The others went home to their Sunday dinners.

Maggie asked Ennis to give her away, since KE and Barbie could not come this distance. Her older brother would have been the traditional choice, but Maggie was thrilled to have Ennis be the one . . . they were closer than they'd ever been.

After escorting his sister to her new husband's side at the altar, he turned and entered the pew occupied by his handsome husband, Jack Twist and their son, Branch. Maggie's oldest and youngest children were in that same pew. Becca was standing up with her mother, as the maiden of honor.

Claire sat in the same pew, but across the aisle. She was on the Groom's side of the church. Soon her husband would hand the rings to the groom and then take his place by her side. She was pleased to see the energy in his step, it boded well for their future.

The rings . . ah yes. Maggie had explained to Dolph that she didn't need jewelry, all she wanted was "him"; Legally and Forever! So together they picked out matching wedding bands of plain gold, with a tiny etched vine twining around it. Inside, they each had something private inscribed for the other. Turned out, they both chose this line from their favorite song, "My one and only Love." Couldn't have been better if they'd planned it.

They took a couple days and went to Denver. The children stayed with Ennis and Jack, with Claire and John as back up. When they returned, driving up into the yard, they saw the kids out in the field with Ennis and Jack, playing baseball. The dogs were chasing the balls too, fetching and returning them. There was no tellin' who was on whose team.

*

That night in bed, Ennis tossed and turned. They had kissed good night, and closed their eyes. He might have even fallen asleep for a bit, but soon he was awake again.

"Jack? You awake?"

There was no answer.

Ennis nibbled a bit on the back of Jack's neck . . . "You awake, baby?"

"nah."

"Okay, you go back to sleep. We'll talk about it in the morning."

"Fuck Ennis! Talk about what?!"

"It's okay. You're sleeping."

"Ain't nobody can sleep through that shit! What is it?"

"Jack, we need anoth . . . . "

"Don't you fuckin say we need another baby!"

"Why Jack? Ain't you gonna miss havin them all here after . . "

"Ennis, I was tryna sleep!"

"Branch is getting so grown up. What do you think about . . ."

"Did you ever think about this? We could actually TALK in the fuckin daytime! Why do you always turn it on as soon as I get to sleep?"

"Oh, so you ain't mad about the baby. You're mad about my timin?"

Ennis started grinning from ear to ear. He kissed Jack on the tip of his nose, and on his ear lobe, both ticklish places on Jack Twist.

Jack reached over and got a headlock on his man, then he rubbed his knuckles on the top of the blond curls.

"Stop it! I ain't ten years old!"

"Couldn't prove it by me!" he said with glee.

"If I was ten, would I do this?" and at that, he slid down in the bed and tongued Jack's relaxed penis, feeling it fill as he pulled it all the way into his mouth. "Would I, huh?"

"Shut up and suck."

*

The next morning, the guys agreed to fix Ennis' empty nest syndrome by getting a kitten or two. They named them Willy and Waylon!

#


	60. Chapter 60

ABI FF 60 – LJ 57

This is the next to the last chapter. It's been a wonderful four year journey with our boys, Ennis and Jack. Thanks to everyone who has made the trip with us; I appreciate you whether you commented or whether you remained silent.

Judy

The Henderson's, Maggie, Dolph and the children made a life for themselves in Loveland, Colorado. The Bell/Twist/Del Mar family pitched in to help them build a home on John and Claire's section of land. Both households had plenty of room and they became very close friends. The children elected to use the same names for the older couple that the other kids used; they called them Gran and Poppa.

As soon as they could get to the County Seat, Dolph legally adopted Becca. Daniel was already getting ready to leave for college, but he felt that he should carry the same name as the rest of his family, besides, he loved the man who had helped his mama raise him to manhood. So, like his sisters, he took the name Henderson that summer before enrolling in CU.

The boy had worried whether he was disrespecting his own father, Joe Cooper, by choosing another man's name, but after careful thought he decided that it was what he wanted going forward. Daniel Cooper was his past, Daniel Henderson was his future.

The little church had become the center of their world, both spiritual and social. As the elder Twists and the Henderson's became closer, Dolph convinced Claire and John to join the choir along with Maggie, Becca and him. Every Wednesday night at Loveland Creek Episcopal Chapel they gathered for choir practice. These evenings were special and fun. As they could not practice their hymns and watch Rose at the same time, they happily left her with Ennis, Jack and Branch.

Rose looked forward to Wednesday nights; she loved Branch like a brother, and she liked lording it over him that she was two years older! They were inseparable. Rarely did an evening pass without a squabble, or a mess, or a time-out. But they were in it together, no matter what the trouble turned out to be, or who started it.

Both had skinned knees half the time and Jack realized he'd better lay in a goodly supply of band-aids. Ennis was on iodine duty because Jack couldn't take it when they cried that it stung.

As the summer days passed, both families realized that soon Rose would go to school, and leave Branch behind. Jack made an effort to find other families in the area who had boys Branch's age. They needed to face it; the boy would lose Rose as his primary playmate when she went to kindergarten.

At the fish fry that Friday night, the Robiskies made a great suggestion. They had a Mother's Day Out Program held every Tuesday at the church. Several of the children who attended were near to Branch's age. So Jack talked Ennis into letting him go there, just to give it a try. Most of the week, he shadowed his daddy's at work or played with Bailey, Barley, Bobo, or the kittens. But on Tuesday's he got to go see other kids. Branch had the best of both worlds.

* * *

Ennis couldn't wait to get his boy up on a horse, to teach him to ride. He didn't count on the wailing and screaming the first time he introduced him to the idea. No way was Branch Del Mar gonna get up on that monster horse! Ennis was beside himself with disappointment! He tried several times with no luck. Branch was having none of it.

Rose started school. She came over to see Branch, but really just to rub his nose in it that she was so grown up, so far ahead of him. "We had Art on Friday, and I drew a picture of a dog." She crowed. "That's nice." He said.

He had nothing to counter with. He struggled to come up with something that could "outdo" Rose and her school accomplishments, but he was coming up with nothing so far. He had an idea that he could get daddy to teach him to play the harmonica; that would show Rose!

Jack agreed gladly. So every other morning they had a 30 minute practice session during which time Ennis left the house. He went to the barn, to town, to mom's house, anywhere he could, to get away from the awful whining and screeching of TWO harmonicas.

Branch wasn't having any fun though. He dreaded those lessons and his ears hurt after playing and listening to daddy play. He'd have to come up with something else. He told his daddy, "no more harmonica lessons!" just as emphatically as his daddy had once told Ennis "no more beans!".

That night, when Jack confided to Ennis that Branch hated playing the harmonica, Ennis looked sternly at him, "You owe me, big time, for all that catterwalling you and Branch been doin."

Jack was disappointed that his talent wasn't appreciated enough but he thought he might make this work to his advantage. "I been awful bad, makin such a racket. I think you should punish me right now, Ennis." begged a penitent Jack.

Ennis loved it when Jack begged for it. Soon he had him whining and pleading for release but couldn't resist tormenting him just a little bit longer. When they were through playing and teasing, the two men made love with a passion that would never diminish.

*^*^*^*

"Branch, would you bring daddy that brush, please?" As Ennis cared for the horses as usual that next morning, he involved the boy just a little bit. Day after day Ennis asked more of Branch. As the weeks went by, the little one gained confidence as he fed, watered, curried and petted those huge creatures he was still a tiny bit afraid of.

Branch fed and watered them all, but Ennis could tell there was one horse in particular that his son favored. He was a sweet gentle gelding, a bit on the small side. There was an apparent kinship between the boy and the small horse.

"Branch, Pinto Bean needs to be exercised this morning. Will you take him out and lead him around the paddock for a few laps for me?" He did. This was the boy's first time on his own with a horse.

The next morning, Ennis barely had finished his coffee when Branch was tugging on his sleeve. "Dad, does Pinto Bean need to be walked this morning?"

"You think you can get his bridle on him?"

"Yes daddy, oh yes!"

Branch had to climb on a chair to reach the tack and harnesses, but he managed just fine, and when he was satisfied, called his daddy to come check his work.

This soon became Branch's job. He often helped with the other horses too, and each time, he gained in control and strength. The more often he cared for them, the less he was concerned with their massive size.

"Why don't you get Pinto's saddle and blanket, Branch?" Ennis taught the boy how to throw the blanket over the back of the horse, and then the saddle, before cinching and tightening everything. "Is it good and tight, son?"

He tugged on the straps, "feels like it."

"Jump up there and see," he said. And Branch did. Up on that box, he placed his left foot in the stirrup, and swung his right leg up and over. He slid into the saddle, wiggling his butt a bit to see if anything would slip but everything was nice and secure. He seated himself properly, sat up straight and proud. '_This isn't so bad,_' he thought.

"You want to take him for a few turns around the paddock, just to make sure?"

"Okay," said Branch, then he lifted his right leg to begin his dismount.

"Oh, stay right there. That will be fine," said his nonchalant daddy.

Ennis handed the reins to the boy, and walked toward the paddock, as if leading them on parade. For a mere second, Branch just sat there. Then he nudged Pinto's sides with his heels, and clicked his tongue like he'd heard his daddy do so many times. The horse began to walk. Ennis studiously kept his eyes on his work of cinching another horse into gear, pretending it was no big deal what was going on with his son.

With one full circuit of the corral completed, Ennis risked a look to see how it was going. Branch had a small smile on his face, and his cheeks were pink.

"You goin again?" then he nodded at the boy and returned to his work, letting him decide and carry on whichever way it went.

When the second circuit was complete, Branch didn't even stop. He'd gotten used to the walking gait, and then pushed the horse a little faster. Ennis let him push the envelope another fifteen minutes or more, before waving him over. "That's enough for today, son."

"Can I ride again tomorrow, daddy, can I, huh?" Branch's eyes were shining bright, and he was smiling from ear to ear.

"Yep, you can ride tomorrow." Ennis kept it low key, but inside he was thinking, '_and every tomorrow of your life, li'l darlin_.'

*^*^*^*

At last, Branch had something of his own. He didn't go to real school yet, but he could ride a horse, and take care of them, just like daddy. He couldn't wait for the next Wednesday night when Rose would come over!

On Wednesday evening when Dolph dropped her off Rose was more quiet than Branch had ever seen her.

"What's wrong, Rose? You seem sad or mad or something."

With her lower lip stuck out a mile, Rose told Branch "I hate Billy Pearson."

"Why, what'd he do?"

"He told the whole class he was gonna marry me someday."

"Well, what did you say?"

"Nothin. I just punched him."

"Ya did?" Branch bent over laughing so hard. "Seems like ya took care of the problem. Let's go out to the corral now, okay?"

As they walked outside, the boy kept chuckling. "Quit laughin at me! I punched him 'cause I couldn't tell him the truth."

"Well what is the truth then?"

"That I already know who I'm going to marry and it ain't him."

As they pulled open the barn door, Branch shushed Rose with quiet words, "it'll be alright, Rosie. Let's not rile up the horses."

He began speaking softly to the horses, and approached Pinto Bean with a big ol' smile on his face. He fed him a quarter of an apple, and the horse nuzzled his face and neck.

"Hand me that saddle blanket, will you Rosie?" Branch climbed up on the set of wooden steps he kept there handy. He put the bridle on Pinto first, then the blanket and saddle, cinching the straps nice and tight.

Rosie was impressed but also worried. "What are you doing this for?" Won't your daddy be mad?"

"Nah, I do it all the time." Branch knew he wasn't telling the whole truth. He'd never done this without a parent nearby. He knew he was showing off for her.

"Let me show you. Stand up here and put your left foot, no your left foot, into the stirrup, then swing your right leg up and over . . . there you go. Good girl."

As Rose got comfortable in the saddle, Branch checked the length of the stirrup straps. They were fine at the length he used them. Then he took the reins and started walking PB and Rose out into the corral.

"Are you okay?"

"I think so, don't let me go Branch."

"I won't leave you on your own, I just want to give you the feel of the horse under you. We'll walk around the corral a time or two. Okay?"

"Yes."

As Branch walked ahead of them, holding the reins, Rose asked "How do you know how to do all this, Branch? I thought you were afraid of horses."

"My daddy let me help him, day after day till I got comfortable with them. Then little by little I got to know Pinto Bean here. He is sweet and gentle."

Rose got brave and reached out a hand to pet Pinto Bean on his head and down his neck where she patted him. At that moment, PB shook his head and snorted, scaring her. Branch held the bit and petted PB's muzzle, and reassured Rose. "Horses do that all the time, it wasn't anything you did. Pet him some more while we are standing still. Get the feel of what he likes."

Slowly Rose relaxed again. The quiet reassurance from Branch had been what she needed. Otherwise, she'd be running for the house right now. After two circuits around the ring, Branch helped Rose down, and then he mounted the Bean. They galloped off to a rhythm the two had become familiar with over the past weeks. Rose watched with a growing respect.

"Can we do this again next Wednesday?"

"You bet. As often as you like."

When they went inside after rubbing down Pinto Bean and hanging up all the gear, Rose's uncle Jack and uncle Ennis were snuggled together on the couch.

"'Bout time!" hollered Jack. "Thought you'd never get tired a those horses," smiled Ennis.

They had been holding snack time till the kids got back in. There was chocolate cake that Gran had made and milk for the kids. Ennis poured their coffee while Jack got out the Hi Ho Cherry O game, and the cards. Sometimes they opted to play Go Fish or Crazy 8's instead of a board game.

The bad part about Rose being in school was she needed to get to sleep as soon as the choir practice was over. So, no longer was there time for visiting and snacking on Wednesday nights even though the adults wanted to.

As a result of these changes in their lives, they established game night every Friday night, and they took turns hosting the casual meal and fun. It was good because Becca and Daniel could also join them, and they always had good ideas for new games. As the older kids found sweethearts, the crowd got bigger, and the games more varied.

It didn't happen often, but sometimes Jenny and Bobby would drop in, or Junior and Kurt with the twins. What a grand, noisy time they had then.

^*^*^*

Ennis and Jack were able to make a bit of noise on their own. One night they were wrestling on the living room floor after Branch was in bed. Jack pinned Ennis and then pulled back to stare lovingly at his face.

Ennis asked, "whut?"

Jack licked across Ennis' cheeks and nose. "Can't even count all the freckles you got there, boy."

"Ain't you ever looked at me before? Had'em all my life."

"I know, I know. But you got yourself some sun today. Lots more popped out. And as for ever looking at you? Every chance I get, Cowboy. Every chance I get."

They began kissing deeply, and holding on to each other tightly. Jack said, "wonder whether you got any more anywhere else? Let me just unbutton this shirt a bit." When he got Ennis' shirt off, he began to hunt for and kiss all the freckles. He got mixed up and thought those nipples might be freckles too, but Ennis didn't mind.

Ennis reached for his own belt buckle, and with a quirked eye brow said "Think I got me some more lower down - here let me get out of these clothes."

Just then Branch coughed, and they both stopped and listened.

Jack murmured suggestively, "I'm still dressed, why don't I go see about the boy, bring him some water? I will see you in the bedroom, Mister, and these clothes better all be off."

When Jack came into the bedroom, Ennis was nowhere around. But there were sandalwood candles flickering around the room, it was their second favorite lovemaking scent. Number one is the scent of lodgepole pines from their earliest memories together.

Ennis emerged from the bathroom carrying a jar of massage oil and small sponges. They both worked their body's hard, and they enjoyed giving each other a good rub down whether they had sex or not; but it was much better when they made love.

The good musky scent was coming off the warmed candles now, and Jack undressed in record time.

"Did you lock the door?"

Jack looked startled, and quickly went back and twisted the door handle just so. He began to chuckle. "God I remember the other night when he walked in on us, after having a bad dream. I was all 'ass in the air', and you were ready to fuck me when he suddenly was just standing there, blinking at us. Ennis, you were amazing. I just froze and never could have thought of doing what you did!"

At that, Ennis began to chuckle too. "It was all I could think of, Jack. It had to be something normal, and explainable. I had my hand on your ass already, so I had to come up with a reason. Saying 'where does it hurt?' and 'does this seem painful now?' was all I could think to do."

"Well, that tale about me being bitten by a horse fly sure made him forget about his nightmare. He even helped by getting a cloth wetted with cold water for me to sit on."

The two men rolled together on the bed in laughter remembering the huge charade they went through for Branch's sake.

Before they realized it, their laughter turned to passion, and without any massage oil or sponges, they franticly joined their bodies together. They slammed and pounded, male flesh to male flesh, skin to skin, desperately trying to manage as much contact as they could get. Each giving everything he had to the other. They never wanted to be two separate men ever again, but One Being. The way it was always supposed to be.

Tenderly they kissed. While all sweaty and cooling down, they murmured to each other those words that bound them for all eternity. Their secret words had never been for anyone else to know, or to hear. As their whispers trailed off, their eyes closed and sleep took them softly once again.

*^*^*^

"Piss off! I'm not doin' it!"

"No, 'course not! Cause it's what **I** want!"

Branch ran down the stairs for breakfast, as his fathers hashed and rehashed the argument they'd been having for days now. Paying them no mind, he poured himself some cold cereal and ate it along with some toast and jelly. While he ate, he thought of the arithmetic test he was going to have this afternoon.

He did really well in school, especially with math. Both of his fathers were willing to help him with his homework, but neither was much help in English Literature. Rosie's dad was great at that though. So Dolph was happy to be called upon when needed to tutor or discuss authors or story lines. He was due to come over tonight to discuss Uncle Tom's Cabin with Branch, for an exam later in the week.

The boy walked to each of his dads for his goodbye kiss; he never left for the day, nor did they, without a kiss and a 'see you later'.

Ennis stopped everything to speak to his son, "Good luck with your test today, Finals are never easy," and to kiss him goodbye.

Jack hugged their boy to him, and wished him well. "You'll do fine, you're my son!" He twinkled his blue eyes mischievously at him, then kissed him goodbye.

As Branch grabbed his books and lunch box, then wheeled his bicycle off the porch, they both waved and smiled at his departing figure.

"I ain't gonna buzz cut my hair off for the summer; nor yours neither! My daddy did that to me every year, and I said never again. So just stop asking, Jack!"

Jack walked off to begin working. He wanted to pout but he'd known he couldn't win from the start. He had always known Ennis' opinion of his imposed shearing every year at his daddy's hand. He'd hated it.

He decided to maybe start wearing a bandana or a kerchief over his hair or around his forehead. The last time they'd been to town he'd considered a straw hat for the summer, looking at them at the General Store. He had to do something, a black hat was too hot for working outside in Colorado summers.

A couple hours later, they were both working near the barn. Ennis' mind was on the garden they were planning. This one would be twice the size of previous years, and the reason was complicated. They wanted to try fruits and vegetables that neither had grown before, and they wanted to give Branch a big job now that he was old enough for it. This garden was for him.

With a long pointed stick, Ennis began to rough-in the size and shape of the new garden. He'd just drawn the long side, making sure it wouldn't be too shady there, when he heard horses approaching fast.

Jack looked up too. He was replacing some rotted planks on the east side of the barn when he heard the sounds of hoofs. Then someone began calling his name. "Jack! Jack!"

Both men rushed out to see what the ruckus was all about. The sight before them stunned them and stopped them in their tracks; but only for a second.

Quickly they regained their wits and hurried to Dolph's side to help him get the body down. The unconscious body of John Twist had been draped across his own horse, Buck.

Dolph rode Goldie and led John's horse, carefully, but as fast as he could, seeking help.

They laid him out on the ground and unbuttoned his shirt collar. Jack felt for a pulse, which was faint at best. He began to slap his dad's face, hands and arms. "Dad? Dad! Can you hear me?"

Dolph explained to them that the two of them had been out checking fences when John had grabbed his chest, groaned strangely, then fell off his horse unconscious. He'd managed to lift him up on Buck, and hurried here.

Ennis ran for the truck, threw a couple blankets down on the truck bed and backed up to where John lay. He yelled, "Come on!" Jack rode in back with his dad while Dolph and Ennis whispered frantically in the cab. Ennis drove to the nearest hospital and pulled into the emergency entrance.

When he stopped the truck at the hospital doors, Jack didn't move. His head was down on his dad's chest, his tears wetting his dad's shirt. He told them "It's too late."

Two orderlies or doctors or some guys in white coats came rushing out pulling a gurney. When Jack tried to dissuade them from taking his dad inside, they convinced him that it was still worth a try to get him medical help. Jack followed along with them to the ER.

"Ennis, give me your keys. I'll park the truck and then come in and find you," said Dolph. "You go on with Jack and his daddy."

Ennis found Jack and held his hand while they each patted John and hoped for the best. His hands were cold. They tried chafing them to warm them.

"Dad, if you can hear me, hang on. Don't leave me. Ya hear me dad?" The tears were finding their way out of Jack's eyes again, wetting his dad's chest again.

Finally the doctor and a crew came in with a crash cart and began to examine him. They found no pulse, so they began CPR. That met with no success, so the doctor used the defibrillator to get the heart going again. After three tries, they had a pulse; a thready beat showed up on the monitor. The doctor gave instructions to the nurses for medications that might settle him down, and allow for his recovery. But he wasn't hopeful.

The doctor stepped outside the curtain where Jack, Ennis and Dolph were waiting. He asked, "Next of kin?"

"I'm his son," replied Jack. "My mother's not here."

"He's breathing now, but I'm not hopeful. You should get her here as quickly as you can."

Jack stayed and talked non-stop to his daddy, who seemed to slip in and out of consciousness. Ennis went after Mom, told her the news, and brought her to the man she'd loved all her life. Dolph got on the pay phone and called his wife Maggie, who first called the Robiskies, and then Bobby and Jenny who came right away.

As she went in to see John, Claire charged Ennis with calling her brother Walter and his wife Iris to ask them to call the rest of the family. While he was at the bank of phones, Ennis remembered to call the mother of his children. He told her what was going on, and when she asked what she could do for him, he asked her to call Junior and Kurt. "And one more thing, Alma; our Jenny is so crazy about her Poppa, there won't be any consoling her if he dies."

By seven o'clock p.m. the family had gathered at the waiting room of Good Samaritan Hospital's ICU, and waited for word on John's condition. Miraculously, he was still breathing on his own, and seemed to be a bit stronger.

When Claire left her husband's cubicle to allow Jack time with his daddy, she reported to Ennis and Jenny that he had said a few words this last time. When Jack came out and indicated that Bobby could go in to see his grandpa, he said his dad had done nothing but groan while he was with him.

Walter came to the hospital to see his sister Claire, and her Johnny. He left Iris at home, cooking and baking. She responded to every emergency this way. "Whatever happens to people, good or bad, they always need to eat," Iris believed that firmly.

The late shift doctor was seemingly aghast at what was going on. "This man needs his rest! You all clear out until morning. The wife can stay, but no one else."

John smiled. "Thank you, doctor."

"No big deal. I do it all the time. Folks don't want to be the bad guy, run their relatives and friends off; but someone has to do it. I kinda like being the bad guy." He smiled at John and Claire. "That chair opens up to be a single bed, ma'm. Now get some sleep, you two. The nurses and lab techs will be in to keep you awake soon enough."

Everyone else went to Walter and Iris' house for food and rest. Once they had all tucked into the chicken casserole and the many delicious side dishes, breads and desserts, they began to really feel how they felt. Tired and worn out. It was the adrenaline, or the effects of it. Jack held up his hand to make an announcement before everyone went off to home or bed. "Mama told me that the doctor is very pleased with daddy's progress. And, that they were planning to run us all off so he could get some real rest. And she said we are not to worry ourselves sick about it."

They all looked at each other, and you could see the weight lifting off their shoulders a bit.

Bobby, who spent his days taking care of sick and injured animals held up his hand next.

"What is it Doctor Twist?"

"I have a message for everyone who loves someone."

"Well, I guess that means all of us. What is our message?"

"Learn CPR! And if it's been a few years since you learned it, take a refresher course. Learn to save lives of those you love, or even of strangers. You'll never regret it."

Ennis and Jack headed for the door, arm in arm. "G'night all. Everyone have some place to lay their head tonight? Speak now or forever hold your peace."

They kissed Iris and thanked her for her hospitality. They shook hands with Walter, and then hugged him. "See you in the morning."

tbc


	61. Chapter 61

Title: A Better Idea – FF Chapter 61

Fandom: Brokeback Mountain

Rating: NC-17 for language, explicit sexual content

Genre: a/u

Pairing: Ennis / Jack

Words: 3,920

Warnings: Time passing on, as well as main character deaths

Disclaimer: The O/S characters belong to Annie Proulx, all the rest are my own creation. No profit or fame being sought from this, my own story

Notes: This story is dedicated to Heath Ledger

Summary: After the "I wish I knew how to quit you" argument at the Trail Head in 1983, Ennis and Jack finally have a better idea

Feedback: Yes, please. I hope my story brings you peace,

A/N: My dear friends, when I began posting this story in May of 2006 I thought it would be over and done in a matter of weeks, perhaps a few chapters, and then my alternative happy ending. I did not know how these characters would take over my life, nor how RL would take so many twists and turns including the one event that knocked a hole in my heart on January 22, 2008. That caused many of us to stumble and lose our way, our momentum, and our hope for the future. Losing Heath was the hardest thing I've ever faced, aside from losing my own family members, of course.

So now, following another death (not a real one in this case - but painful nonetheless) I'm back to complete this story and allow Ennis and Jack to walk off into their own golden years together, and in private.

If when you see the words "The End" you still have questions or concerns about any of my characters, please ask me, and I will fill you in on the details. Deal?

Let's get to it.

Love you all,

Judy

John got the roto-rooter treatment for his arteries, and was sent home in a few days. He would have to closely watch his cholesterol numbers and have regular check-ups. He was lucky; he could go back to a fairly normal life.

Dolph talked to Jack about maybe it was time they all got those new cellular phones. Even Ennis agreed to get one, after years of Jenny badgering him about it. They got on a family plan, and at first they talked to each other every day. After they got used to it, they developed a sort of phone chain where one person called to check on another, and so on. It was less intrusive and less expensive that way.

As the years rolled by, the family homes in Loveland, Colorado took on a timeless quality. The log exteriors faded till they blended into the rolling hills and trees as if they had always been there; a part of the landscape.

The families celebrated life's benchmarks and holidays, spending time together as they always had, but somehow with more appreciation as every season passed. As with all of life, there were some losses.

In February, 2011 Walter Bell died. He did not linger or suffer. It was an aneurysm, silent and swift as can be. Iris was bereft, but she had their children and family around her. Claire, her sister-in-law, was right there with her whenever needed. Claire needed consoling too, for she and her brother Walter had been uncommonly close over the years.

Johnny Twist missed his lifelong friend sorely. Ennis and Jack had come to depend on and love Uncle Walter, the outspoken, caring man who had given them advice whether wanted or not, and the chance to live the life they'd hoped for. His passing was a devastating blow to the entire family.

As family members from far and wide gathered in Loveland, it was reminiscent of the many parties that had beckoned them to this place and to Lightning Flat before that. How Walter had reveled in throwing a party! Iris was so used to cooking huge quantities of meats, casseroles and desserts when he'd gotten the itch to have a bash, so that's what she did now. They had a little memorial service officiated, if it could be called that, by their friend and pastor, Reverend Brian Robiskie. The congregation attended in goodly numbers. All were invited back to the house.

Food and drink were plentiful, as well as the stories about Walter's many good deeds, and some mis-deeds too. Iris looked over the crowd and knew that her husband would have dearly loved this party! Claire wiped a tear from her eye; one caused by hysterical laughter at some antic Walter and John had pulled when they were in school, 7th grade, or thereabouts.

Some of the stories were new to Ennis and Jack, some remembered from other tellings at similar parties. Junior and Kurt even had favorites among the tales. Hopefully they would pass them along to the twins. There were photos in the Rawlings family album of Great Uncle Walter holding them both up for a snapshot during their first visit to Loveland, and to his house.

Bobby and Jenny shared some of the stories from when they'd had to stay over at Iris and Walter's. Like when Gran was rushed to the hospital that time. Their uncle had bedeviled them with riddles and challenged them to games of Scrabble or Yahtzee, anything to keep them from worrying. They remembered that he wouldn't let them go to bed till they'd had a heaping dish of ice cream, which gave him an excuse to have one too.

As the weeks passed, Iris missed Walter more, not less. She had loved that boy since she was 14 years old, and she didn't know how to have a life without him. Didn't want a life without him, in fact.

She decided to go stay with a favorite cousin for a while, for a change of scenery. But she lost weight at Althea's house, and it seemed so noisy there all the time. Iris decided to come back home. Though she felt she had nothing to live for now, she wanted to be where she had shared her years with Walter. She continued to fail, health-wise, until those around her were alarmed for her.

Claire was especially solicitous of her friend turned sister-in-law, and tried to get her interested in planning for their high school reunion. It would be five years since they'd had the last one. Their numbers were dwindling, to be sure. Most of their classmates had left Lightning Flat and scattered to the four winds. Ruthann Hauser was the only one still in the immediate area. Claire contacted her and also Reverend Clayton Peterson in hopes of finding leads on all the stragglers.

They were busy calling classmates and writing out invitations when in May, John had another heart attack and passed away before anyone even knew it. He'd been changing the oil on the pick-up. When Claire went in search of him for lunch he was lying beside the tool box with his hand on his cell phone.

Claire wanted to give up on the reunion, and on looking toward the future, but just like her sister-in-law before her, Iris would not let her. After the funeral and memorial service were behind them, they kept themselves busy by working on the arrangements for the class reunion.

Mornings were Claire's time alone to walk the paths in the woods that she and John had enjoyed here in what she still thought of as their new home. He had insisted on holding her hand as they strolled, making up for lost time and remembering how they'd sweetly clasped hands as childhood sweethearts.

Jack was inconsolable over his father's death and Ennis nearly so as well. They'd built a strong bond between them in the years since Jack and Ennis each came to live at Lightning Flat in 1983. They'd shared a part of each day with him since, and the old man was sorely missed.

Ennis began starting some of his sentences with "Tell you What!" because he knew it would get a smile out of Jack and remind him of his dad's habit of saying it.

Claire and Iris argued till they were blue in the face, but finally graciously agreed to let Jack and Ennis drive them to their reunion which was being held in Hulett due to Lightning Flat being . . . well, gone. Jack, ever the charmer, said "Can't let two good lookin' single gals go roamin' 'round the country side all alone." And that was that.

Charlotte (King) Meridan came in from Kansas City, Billy Gentile flew in from San Francisco, and Pearl (Mayer) Hayward and her husband Paul, arrived in Hulett all the way from St. Augustine, Florida. Claire and Iris came in from Loveland, Ruthann and all the other attendees came from Sundance, Billings, Gillette, and other places nearby. There were 24 total reunion attendees, counting spouses.

Charlotte's husband, Jerry Meridan was not able to travel, having just had eye surgery. Many of the classmates were widowed, but none as recently as Iris and Claire. They were both still wearing their widow's black.

Claire danced with Dan Adkins, Paul Hayward, Billy Gentile and finally Clayton Peterson. While dancing with Clayton, she asked after his wife. Dropping his eyes he said she was gone, but he'd rather not talk about that right now; said he wanted to have this pleasant time with her.

As he held her hand and led her back to her chair following their waltz, she asked quietly, "I'm so sorry about your wife Clayton, I hope it was not the cancer again." Surprised, he looked at her and stopped to face her. "No, it was not. It was a divorce."

"Oh! I'm so sorry."

"Not your fault. . . . well, in a way, I suppose it is."

Claire gasped. She looked deeply into his eyes, realizing what he was going to say for she had always known it, really.

"I never should have married her. She is a wonderful person, and a gentle woman, but I married her knowing my heart belonged to someone else. You've guessed, I imagine? I've been pretty obvious."

"Oh Clayton, let's not . . . "

"Of course, my dear, I understand. Can I get you a cup of punch?"

"Yes, please." Claire needed a moment alone to get her feelings in check.

When he returned with the punch, he dropped momentarily into the chair next to Claire. It was vacant because Iris was currently dancing with Billy. She thanked him and took a sip, expecting him to go back to his own table.

"Claire, please, I have to speak plainly. Time is not on our side."

She looked at him expectantly. He cleared his throat.

"When an appropriate time has passed, may I pay court to you, Claire?"

"No Clayton, I . . . "

He placed his hand over hers lying on the table. "I understand. But you're not getting rid of me that easily. I will call you after a few months." He smiled at her, bent to kiss her cheek, and then walked away.

While "the girls" were at their three day reunion, Jack and Ennis were acting like tourists. They went to see Devil's Tower, they attended the Crook County Sheriff's Sale, and on Saturday, a livestock show and rodeo. It was a treat for them to spend uninterrupted time together, and Ennis realized something. He loved Jack Twist. But just as importantly, he loved traveling with Jack Twist.

On the highway, after eating a late afternoon snack at Azar's Big Boy, Ennis asked in a serious tone, "Do you miss waving at the girls in the stands?"

Jack pulled the big luxurious rental car over to the side of the road. He pulled Ennis into his arms and kissed him soundly. "I was makin' that part up, Cowboy. I was wavin' at the boys in the stands!" and then he laughed.

"Well, do you miss the rodeo, and wavin' at the boys in the stands?"

"I got all I can handle right here, friend."

Ennis smiled at that.

"Yes Ennis, you're ornery as any bull I ever drew!"

Jack flinched when Ennis drew back his fist . . . but then they laughed, and they pulled back out on the highway, enjoying their time together.

They headed back to their motel, as they only had one more day out here. Mom and Iris would be ready to leave for Loveland after brunch and a visit to Ruthann's house tomorrow afternoon.

"Why is sex with you even better when we're away from home, Cowboy?"

Ennis chuckled but he didn't answer. He personally thought that there was something kind of 'forbidden' about fucking in a motel, as opposed to your own bed back home. Seemed riskier somehow. He said, "c'mere you."

Jack sighed. "Ain't had enuff a me yet, eh?"

"Never enough, Bud, never enough."

They jounced that bed good remembering the Siesta Motel, even though this place was surely superior in every way to that old well-remembered haven. This, the Medford Inn, was clean and smelled of soap and fabric softener.

There were no stains on the sheets nor on the carpet. The towels were thick, the television was large and offered cable stations, the air conditioner worked. Not only that, but there was a café attached to the motel office that advertised continental breakfasts beginning at 6 every morning. They made quite good coffee too.

Ennis dripped sweat on Jack then pulled him close to towel it off languidly. He kissed his way back up his body, and then shuddered in satisfaction. They were both jelly limbed and spent. When they caught their breath, Jack looked over at his brown eyed lover and asked "Ya think we can get that Adult Channel at our house?"

"God I hope not, we ain't got out a this bed for 36 hours as it is!" cried Ennis.

"Tell you what though! We could set ourselves a 'date night' once or twice a month and go find a motel that has it. What do you think about that, my studly hombre?"

They laughed again; at the ridiculous (or non-existent) plotlines of the porn movies, of the names the men called each other, like stud muffin and mucho grande hombre, and wunny bunny. This was so different from their day to day world and they had really let themselves get into it. But each was looking forward to getting to their own home again, to their own bed and to the wonders of having work that they loved and family members that they cared about. It was a great life.

They got the women safely home on Sunday, but wondered at the quiet talk in the back seat, and the few small smiles that they could not hide. Jack and Ennis were both glad that Mom and Iris felt like smiling now, and hoped whatever the reason, that it continued.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Branch married Heather Robiskie two months after he graduated from Colorado University. She would be a junior at Purdue in the fall. They'd said a tearful good-bye to the parents and loaded up their antique VW bus. It chugged along happily across I-70 toward their new life in West Lafayette, Indiana. Their honeymoon trip had a secondary purpose, known only to a few.

Branch had been in his final year of high school when that spring, a letter came for him.

He jumped off the school bus humming a tune as usual and noticed that the red flag was up on the mail box. He rummaged in the beat up enclosure till he could be sure he had got everything.

It was just the usual run of ads and flyers till he saw the small white envelope with his own name on it. The return address held a familiar name: C. R. Branchard, RR #2, Monks' Corners, Ohio. He was stunned. It was from his mother.

He ran up the lane to the house hollering "Dad! Dad! Come see!"

When they were all three seated round the solid wooden table, he nervously fingered the envelope. "What do you suppose she wants?"

Ennis murmured, "Guess you'll find that out when you are ready to open it, son."

"Good gravy you two!" hollered Jack. "Open the letter, you're killin' me with suspense. If you don't, I will!"

Branch turned and immediately handed the envelope to Jack. "Go ahead dad, I'm too nervous."

Jack took the envelope in hand; he raised his eyes to Ennis, imploringly.

Ennis gave one solid nod.

Jack slit it open and pulled out two small sheets of paper. He read for a tiny minute only, and then laid the letter down. "It's not from your mother, Branch. It's from your brother."

The boy grabbed the letter and read:

Dear brother,

I know you'll be surprised at hearing from me after nearly 18 years. If you thought we forgot about you, we never did. I wanted to wait till you were old enough to make up your own mind about us.

Our old neighbor, Mrs. Morgan, said you know about us, your first family, and that you are named after us. That's nice.

We hated to leave you behind. You got to believe me on that one. If our dad had lived, we would all be one big happy family.

When we left there, I was seven, Marcia five, and Davy three. And without dad, mama didn't have no other choice but to give you away to a good family to raise.

We are all doing good, hope you are too.

I hope you write back,

Charley Rae Blanchard

p.s. Mama sends her love, Freddie. (that's what she was going to name you)

The three men sat in silence around the table while the light dimmed, and they were virtually in the dark. None made eye contact with the others but stayed with their own quiet thoughts. For so many years they'd known this day would come, but astonished now, that it finally had.

Ennis cleared his throat, "ya want some supper, Branch?"

"Yeah thanks, I think I'm starving, daddy."

As Ennis heated up the beef stew and biscuits, he reflected that Branch had not called him daddy in a couple of years now. It was most often the grown up version, Dad. Jack had noticed it too.

The boy fed and watered the dogs, his nightly chore.

While they'd sat quietly, the evening sky had darkened, so Ennis turned on the light over their dining table.

Jack set the table with the rudimentary items they used, and got out the jug of milk. He decided not to make coffee, as he would make an early night of it.

They ate hungrily, none saying a single thing fearing the words would begin to tumble out at a rate that they could not stop.

When the three men had cleared the table and the few dishes were washed and put away, Branch finally spoke.

"Think I'll head up to bed now."

His dads merely nodded and shuffled their feet awkwardly. "Us too," was all they said.

As old as he was, he couldn't walk away tonight without a consoling hug and kiss from his dads. Silently, they all went to bed; turmoil and a bit of fear in their minds.

On Saturday morning, Branch pulled out the picture album that Gran had put together in the days after his christening. Friends, neighbors and parishioners had rifled their own albums looking for pictures of all the Branchard family, whether at community events, church suppers or barbeques in each other's back yards. Where ever they'd been snapped, it was a testament to the life they'd built so long ago, here in Loveland. These images had never carried any emotion for Branch. . .until now.

One picture in particular brought out the "what if" feelings in the boy. It showed Camilla, at Thanksgiving, pregnant with him only two weeks before he was born. What if his real dad had lived? Would he even know his dads and all of this loving family that he was a part of now? Hopelessly confused, he picked up a paper and pen.

Branch wrote back to Charley. He told him a few things about his life, and his family, and closed with, "your brother, Branch."

When Charley wrote back, he said "I go by Charley Rae. The Rae is our mother's maiden name."

Each week they wrote, and eventually, they cut back to monthly, and then quarterly. But by then, they were acquainted, and firmly felt themselves to be brothers.

The next few years passed swiftly, and Branch asked Heather if she minded going to Ohio to meet his other family following their wedding. Her dad and mom, Brian and Beth, were very excited about the turn this story was taking, since they had been involved back in the beginning. She loved this man, and would go anywhere with him . . . come hell or high water. His Ohio family was looking forward to seeing Freddie/Branch after all these years.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Claire married Clayton in a private ceremony, eighteen months after John died. Her sons stood up with them. The couple went to New Mexico to visit his daughter. Claire had known the girl but wanted to get re-acquainted with her and her husband and children now that she would be part of their family.

She was happy with Clay, and tried not to feel like she was cheating on John. Most days she succeeded. She loved that they had their spiritual side in common, but they also laughed a lot and often played Scrabble or Canasta together. He wanted her to take a cruise with him to Hawaii; she wanted to take a few local day trips. They compromised and decided to do both. They were quite affectionate with each other. He told her every day how much he loved her and how long he'd waited for her. She was of the generation to take her husband's name, so she was now Claire Peterson. It was hard to stop writing Claire Twist on checks and receipts.

Iris missed Claire, but was very happy for her too. Besides, she had a correspondence romance going on with Billy Gentile, and they were getting serious. In her home she was busy painting and remodeling. She had loved Walter with all her heart, but she was regaining her sense of self, day by day.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Rose Henderson married her college girlfriend, Sara McCloskey in Iowa. Dolph walked his daughter Rose down the aisle, and Sara's father did the same. Branch was Rose' Best Man. Maggie beamed at the young couple, and happily sat in the front row waiting for the handsome father-of-the-bride to rejoin her. Behind her sat Becca and her fiance' James, and next to them were Daniel and his pregnant wife Sue. Maggie's cup runneth over.

Ennis and Jack brought Claire and Clay to the wedding with them; all were seated on the bride's side in the sixth row. Heather sat with Branch's dads and held Gran's hand through the ceremony. KE and Barbie filled out the rest of that pew. Their kids were scattered to the four winds; too tied up with their own lives and children to travel to a barely known cousin's wedding.

Maggie, KE and Ennis hoped that could be rectified in the near future. They were planning an annual Family Thanksgiving Weekend, so at least once a year, this growing family could re-connect.

The newlyweds Rose and Sara were buying a bakery and coffee shop in the heart of Des Moines in a trendy gay neighborhood. They were alight with confidence and love; and their families supported their dreams.

Ennis and Jack saw that the young women seemed to have the world by the tail, and were happy for them . . . but still were flabbergasted that so much had seemed to change in this confusing world.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

In early May, 2013 at Padre Island, Texas, two quite handsome older gentlemen walked along the beach, barefoot. They were holding hands right there in front of God and everyone. Their brand new wedding bands glinted in the morning light.

"Fifty years . . ."

"Yeah, fifty years. Never thought we'd get into this again."

"You are such a liar! You red-lined it all the way."

Jack turned to Ennis grinning like a boy.

He looked down at their feet and squirmed his toes into the wet sand. Ennis laid out the blanket they'd brought with them, and stretched out on it facing the gray-blue gulf waters.

"You look the same as you did the day I met you fifty years ago today."

Ennis squinted up at Jack who hadn't lay down yet, and checked him out from various angles.

Seating himself on the blanket, Jack asked "What?"

Ennis smirked and said, "Just checkin' how long your nose is getting there, Pinocchio."

"Ennis Del Mar, did you just make a joke?" laughed Jack.

They lay back in each other's arms and relished the freedom to do so in public. It had been a hell of a long road, but here they were. It was really and truly a sweet life.

The End


End file.
